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Learning to focus on myself
(Preview)
I'm slowly learning to focus on myself, to make myself a better person..I'm learning to improve my self confidence. I'm spending time with friends.and I'm laughing again, really laughing and I haven't done that in a long time. I'm learning to surrender the person who my A used to be, and I'm taking car...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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3
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250
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At What point
(Preview)
do we wake up and then decide to take back our self respect? I do pretty well most of the time but today has been frustrating and I feel like my energy is drained. Dealing with my AH in any way does not work. I can say hello and it is wrong. If I am kind if I am confrontive if I am compassionate or whatever it doe...
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souljoy
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3
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310
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Abuse
(Preview)
I want to start a a new law that allows people to get restraining orders based on emotional abuse. I don't understand why someone needs to be assaulted or threatened to be protected. I know that I have the right to leave, but my children have begged me not to leave our house and our pets. He is in our hous...
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imom
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5
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523
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New to Al-anon. Losing mind with alcoholic pot smoking husband...supposedly "sober".
(Preview)
Hi there, I'm new and feel so lost. My husband admitted to being an alcoholic about six months ago. He was actively involved in AA but then started drinking again. I made him leave the house. we have an 8 year did daughter I am trying to protect. He ended up in detox and was doing well for about six weeks. I r...
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Cam0612
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4
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607
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Hate Mail
(Preview)
My mom asked me if I could receive personal mail at work. Translation: "I have some hate mail I want to send you that I don't want your AH to read." She's really good at that. Every 2 years or so she writes me a hateful letter, threatens to write me out of her will (I've told her I don't want her $...
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NicoleDiver
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8
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415
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New here but not to Al-anon. Need an ear
(Preview)
Hi, Where to start. My husband has been an alcoholic since 1994. Well, I'm sure he was before that but in the 4 years I knew him before that he wasn't. He didn't start drinking inappropriately until after our oldest child was born in Jan. of that year. I knew nothing about alcoholism or what it looke...
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wildrosejmj
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4
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409
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Principals...
(Preview)
This morning I got a phone call from what I'm pretty sure was a collections agency looking for my ex. After almost three years of being divorced, I'm still getting these phone calls. It really surprised me because I hadn't received any in probably over a year, year-and-a-half. Thus far I've just maint...
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Aloha
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5
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211
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Miracles Do Happen!
(Preview)
My AH passed away a few months ago and left me with nothing but his business debt. We lost our home and savings due to his poor business decisions that were made in the cloud of his alcoholism. I had taken out a small life insurance policy through my work, which covered the burial costs and paid a few bills,...
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Green Eyes
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20
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499
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How do I deal with my anger and resentment?
(Preview)
Hello - This is my first post in this group. My husband of 10 years is a RAH- he started trying a few years back, had some relapses, but is finally going to AA and appears to be getting something from it- I am relieved and I feel blessed that he is doing this- We have a 2 and 3 year old and they deserve a whole fami...
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Alea
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4
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7412
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an issue that came up, need your thoughts
(Preview)
Last night I was at a meeting and afterwards I was talking to my sponsor - who to be perfectly honest... I really didn't enjoy as a sponsor and we are done with all the steps- I don't really call her because she feels very cold to me and I feel like she has no heart connection and I am very heart centered...not...
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hope4ever
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7
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459
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Former Sponsor
(Preview)
made it into Hilo and we get together for a late lunch and memories and "get to know you" conversation. Her husband is a delight to talk with and she found my wife delightful also. It was very very nice because she is one of the first foundation stones in my recovery in the program. I am not a...
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Jerry F
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2
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269
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update
(Preview)
Hi All: Welcoming ESH: I am all ears, here is the latest on my end: early this week AH declares 'Good News! Ready for AA' after a night on the town where he ends up sleeping in car; my reaction is anger, but I do my best to give polite but distanced support ('that sounds very positive for you, I hope you get som...
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yanksfan51
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6
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341
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Conditional Love
(Preview)
The exA was supposed to pick up both kids today...when i arrived home from work, he was walking out the door with only the younger one...saying that the teenager was being difficult so he could just stay home. The exA was ticked off. when I walked in the house, I could see the hurt in the 16yo's eyes. Ever...
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rehprof
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5
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219
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exciting Post: it is working!
(Preview)
So, maybe I shouldn't be so excited or maybe I should? My sister is here & I am so happy! She is so laid back & so not CA! I am so glad that I can see how easy it is to talk to her & that I shouldn't be worried about what I say or think. She "is" my sister after all! What am I worried about; wel...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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237
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I'm new and need support for sure!!
(Preview)
My husband of 13 years has just realized within the past year he is an alcoholic. I have a ton of questions and don't really have anyone to talk to about this. I've tried to go to a local meeting here but it never works out with my work schedule and our kids. We've been together for 22 years and have two won...
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bellaswan
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3
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184
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Exciting weekend :)
(Preview)
Lots of good stuff happening over the past few weekends, .. got to go to a lovely event last weekend that was through the community and some very dear friends. VERY excited to share a lot of memories and be included into something that I wouldn't be doing had the past year not happened. This weekend is m...
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Pushka
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2
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218
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Thank you for your prayers - a rough night
(Preview)
Well, today went as well as can be expected. STBXAH came by the house late this afternoon with the signed divorce papers and a little $ to start paying me back. It was incredibly hard to see him. He gave mea hug but I just couldn't go there. When he hugged me I just couldn't reciprocate. I heard and felt a so...
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blondie99
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5
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381
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New problem and decisions to make
(Preview)
My thinking is a relationship with my 20 year partner ( never been married )shouldn't be brought up in this forum but now time has past and as I'm learning more and more about me I find I'm not happy here. When we first got together he was bankrupt, lost his home and wife and no job. Well Cathy came along, f...
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Cathyinaz
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17
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512
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Therapists
(Preview)
Just a quick note guys since 2 posts had me wanting to share the same info. If you are looking for a therapist for yourself it does help to ask if they have 12 step knowledge and alanon knowledge. All therapists basically will say they have "expertise" in addictions because that is one of th...
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pinkchip
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2
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233
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Boyfriend in Rehab - have some questions
(Preview)
My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He has been for a long time. He's been to rehab before (before we met) and it hasn't helped. He decided the other day that he wanted to go again. Said that he is serious this time. I am really hoping that he means it. Have so many questions. What do I do when he comes home?...
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rookie95
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5
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1379
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I am seeking some professional help
(Preview)
Hi everyone, This past week has been a rough week. My alcoholic has been going non-stop. He has even considered buying into the local bar he frequents, which is a topic of another thread. I was doing so well before that. Going to meetings, speaking, being serene. This news suddenly brought up a bunch of...
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slogan_jim
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6
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228
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It's not easy
(Preview)
Good Morning All I got my every two week text from my son asking about his job he was to start last week asking me if I heard anything. I said NOPE. He then came back with that was not nice so I texted back... I'm sorry...no I haven't heard anything. I told him he should call them again and he said he would...
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Cathyinaz
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5
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304
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hard time taking care of me... ugh
(Preview)
Today I am frustrated. I am having a hard time figuring out what I need and how to get it, or state it. I am at a very confused grumpy place... Husband took off last night in middle of night, woke up at 4am he wasn't here. He went to ex wifes. (no not cheating... she works nights and we are friends she gave...
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Rinn
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2
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285
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Hi I am new..and don't know what todo.
(Preview)
I am 21 and my SO is 31 i have been with him almost 5 years. I didn't really realize his drinking problem until after I got pregnant with our first. I left him a month after I found out. He promised he would stop and a few weeks later he had to stop and get some when we had no money. At the time I didn't understand a...
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bmoore07
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5
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469
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Pros and Cons
(Preview)
I'm realizing, now that my focus and attention (obsession) is slowly moving away from my AH and all his crazy behavior, I can spend my time focusing on me and all of MY issues. This sounds simple and obvious, but it was really a revelation for me today. I spent my whole lunch hour today thinking about ME, n...
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ParisMemories
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4
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1121
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CONTROLL needs to stop
(Preview)
ok having a hard time dealling with my AH sober 5 moths. i have no privacy . he insecure . im very angry. last year he cheated but it wasnt him it was the bottle and beer. well after a year of having the affair with promises and gifts to go with it, and the add on the family plan cell phone because it was costi...
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Ms co-dependent
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3
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383
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AA friends or a date?
(Preview)
Hi all, I'm sure some of you have experience with this. I want to support my alcholic in being active in AA. I do this by supporting her going to five meetings a week and trying to be supportive of meetings with AA friends, her sponsor, and sponsees, even when there isn't a lot of of time for 'us'. Lately...
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shyrose
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5
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360
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Has anyone dealt with alcoholism more than once?
(Preview)
This may seem like a dumb question to ask, but has anyone dealt with alcoholism with more than one person in their immediate family? I dealt with my brother who was an A and a drug addict for years. He's now been clean for 4 years! :) That was very hard to deal with..but now I have my mom who's an A and it's even...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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10
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413
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A "come to Jesus" meeting
(Preview)
Over the last several months, I've been getting the runaround from my STBXAH regarding the divorce papers. It finally came to a head yesterday in several phone calls. I finally had the "come to Jesus" talk with him because I was tired of his shenanigans. He said that he felt like he was being...
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blondie99
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8
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287
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He chooses to stay in the pit, I walked away
(Preview)
I am embarrassed to tell you, that my guy is so sick, says he is at the bottom. I walked away. I will not allow myself to be dragged down from his situation. He can stay in his pit along with all his addicts and coda is that right? Children of an addict? His coda children and make his grandchildren like his ow...
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Debilyn
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17
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630
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So....he's looking at buying into a bar...
(Preview)
Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a gratful member of al-anon family groups. The alcoholic that qualifies me for al-anon is my father. I just spoke with him on the phone. Over the last little while he has been frequenting a local watering hole and is a regular. He has even become friends with the...
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slogan_jim
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8
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410
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So tired of the same ole, same ole
(Preview)
Just needed to vent. I'm tired of hearing: I love you, I want to grow old with you. I'm done drinking. I'm changing. I want to be in God's will. I know I've done wrong and I have to make up for it and I want our marriage to make it. Only to realize that it's all leading me to believe he's changing when in reali...
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ilovedogs
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14
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468
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Thank you HP!
(Preview)
HP is right on time with this one! My anxiety has been rising in reference to when my Husband was going to go back to work and continue Intensive Outpatient Treatment. I prayed and did my best to let go and let HP handle that situation and never brought it up to my Husband. Husband knows what he has to do,...
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Sincerely
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2
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182
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I Can't, HP Can... I Need to Let Him...
(Preview)
It Truly Saddens me at times the Powerless I Feel over Life! Not Just Mine but those I Love... Thank God for My Program, and the TRUE People that Support me in my Journey! It Seems know matter how much I learn about the Disease, it still doesn't change the Sickness! There are Times I Feel Life comes at me wit...
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Jozie
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6
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370
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An Introduction...and a mother of an alcoholic daughter.
(Preview)
I'm new to these boards and I wanted to introduce myself and explain how I got here. This is not my first time in Al Anon. I was married to an alcoholic for 20 years and that marriage ended (much to my relief) about 12 years ago. I struggled greatly with all the issues that alcoholism brings. My own and his....
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jhhess
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14
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467
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Asked ex-AB for money back/ after effects
(Preview)
Hi all. Pretty much new to be posting here and haven't done so for few weeks now, but I keep coming back almost every evening to read your stories for support and encouragment. So much resonates in me, I just cannot stop :) (careful: this will be a very long rant) So, to the topic of this share. 5 days ago I f...
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HappyToBe
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5
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373
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24 hours ago
(Preview)
Not even 24 hrs ago I posted about my progress. I really felt proud of myself yesterday.
Tonight, I am here alone, no idea where AH is. He lied again, I figured out the deception and confronted him this morning, angry and scolding, how can you keep doing this, I screamed. I left for work and havent heard...
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ParisMemories
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10
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411
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A heavy heart today
(Preview)
I am feeling very heavy hearted today as I consider the path I will be walking with my elderly parents. My father has been in the undiagnosed stages of perhaps dementia/alzheimers and my mom has done what she has always done; denying the obvious and dancing through life, which has served her wonderfu...
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PP
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12
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456
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In a Rut
(Preview)
Hi everyone I'm in a RUT and I can't get out of it. I can't seem to get motivated to do anything but sit and think. I spent all weekend doing nothing but clean my house and watch TV. No meetings for the last week and very little reading. I'm somewhat depressed and worry is setting in. My eating is gett...
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Cathyinaz
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12
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467
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Slippage, oops I did it again.
(Preview)
I get very conflicted in my head and start wondering why and then WHAM, oh yeah I not only stopped working my program, but I decided I could run the show again. I have veered pretty far of course of who I want to be and act the way I know to act. I am not expecting perfection from myself, but whenever my exAH co...
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Breakingfree
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5
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477
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The whole story
(Preview)
I have been suffering over the things AW said to me the other day... see the last post I made. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since the 7th grade and when my parents got divorced I took a serious nosedive from an already low place (this when I was in college). I managed to graduate but after gra...
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dponlyme
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10
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358
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Learning to let go
(Preview)
AH is having good days and bad days. He is going to a meeting everyday, seeing a new counselor, reconnecting with old (sober) friends, those things are good. He is also still drinking, hardly at all, but I know he is and he knows I know.
But the difference today is I feel so much more detached, I love him,...
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ParisMemories
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6
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205
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Son is drunk, mentally and physically disabled. Please advise!
(Preview)
My son is sitting in a bar, on his second pitcher of beer and is recovering from Shoulder surgery and has no driverl license, but rides his bike everywhere. He would not accept a ride from me. The surgical Dr. said no bike riding yet, and if he fall and reinjures his rotator cuff, he will not be able to fix...
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Pink
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9
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468
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and now there's AA
(Preview)
Hi Everyone: Thank you again for all the responses to my post from a few days ago...interestingly, since I finally got the courage to give a date for moveout for my AH, have started talking to my family seriously about it and getting support--guess what? The night of my post AH goes out and doesn't come...
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yanksfan51
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9
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359
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Family Dynamics
(Preview)
I've been thinking lately about my family dynamics and my AH's family dynamics and one thing rings pretty clear on both sides: everyone sits in judgment of everyone else. There is constant bickering on my side, and constant bickering on his side. And I don't mean between families, I mean within fa...
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NicoleDiver
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7
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532
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Same ole Same ole
(Preview)
I have a 4 month old baby and my husband smokes weed. He stopped until she was a couple months old and now its everyday again. I have tried to talk to him but it seems not to matter. The problem is apparently he has smoked since high school. I dont want my daughter at risk for something to happen while in his ca...
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Renea
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4
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205
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Very sad weekend; addiction is such a scourge
(Preview)
During my period of unemployment from November-February, I volunteered at my son's daycare so he would be able to continue to attend for free, and we would not have to be in the house with my AH during the day. I spent most of my time in the infant room, where there is a lead teacher and an assistant teache...
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stephaniej
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4
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244
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aw angry: I thwarted her drinking plans
(Preview)
AW was already drinking and found out had plans to get more. I didn't exactly stop her but registered my displeasure to step d when I found out she was going to purchase more for her. She gave the money to me my wife had given her and left leaving my wife with w options... walking or not drinking anymore. She...
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dponlyme
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3
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305
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doing the same thing over & over!
(Preview)
I have been doing the same things over & over expecting different results: insanity in case you were wondering. I am sane today but tomorrow...I am expecting to be on here soon w/ good news! My sister who I was wondering before if we were estranged is coming to visit for a week starting Weds. I am so ex...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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294
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Outing my AH? Need some imput...
(Preview)
My husband is and addict. It has contributed to a huge finacial problem. These problems have really affected my family and my extended family. My mom and grandma have been helping us get by, and my mom is now my landlord. Once again I don't have any rent money for her. As much as my AH promises he is goi...
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Rinn
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10
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471
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Getting there
(Preview)
I'm going through the first year of grieving my mother who died late last year. Her birthday was last week. Hp brought a snowstorm on that day. Imagine a snowstorm here in mid April not just that day but another after that as well... a fun kind of unpredictability for a change. :) So, I was able to work f...
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tiredtonite
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10
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377
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so maybe you all don't agree...
(Preview)
I need to vent today. Yes, OA is definitely a different program but I personally need it today! We are starting a new meeting in my hometown this evening--it is the first meeting we have had in years. So, I work my alanon program & try to get in touch w/ my horrible weight gain. Yeah, I can do both. I am g...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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312
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peace2me post from the mystery board
(Preview)
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hotrod
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0
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344
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if at first you don't succeed!
(Preview)
I posted on the wrong site again. I guess today I don't need to complain about my relationship w/ & about my mother. I am just frustrated & need to vent! So, quickly I will say that my mom is always at all the meetings. I am so upset that I said something about it in the meeting last night while I was si...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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213
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A nice weekend but feelin' a little lonely
(Preview)
Had a really nice and peaceful weekend...was able to spend time with two very good friends - brunch on Saturday morning with my BFF (the wise woman-sister I had mentioned before) and her daughter, who is graduating from high school next month. Saturday night, I had a lovely dinner with a friend from ou...
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blondie99
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5
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385
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mystery board?
(Preview)
This morning I see a few posts that refer to a mystery board/ I am not familiar with that. Can somebody tell me what it is and how to find it? LIN
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afglin
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2
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191
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Situation with father...
(Preview)
Hi thereMy father has had an alcohol problem since I was young. I'm now 28 and he has just served a 4 month sentence for having 3 DUI's. He had an affair with a woman and caused a divorce that was rough when I was a teenager. He lives at his mother's house with his girlfriend (the one he cheated on). He doe...
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BondFan007
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7
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306
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kinda funny when you think about it.
(Preview)
So my recovering AH is having a hard time sleeping because of all the household noises. The last two nights he has gone downstairs to sleep because "I" was snoring. Then when he goes downstairs the dog bothers him or he can hear our son's tv on, etc etc. So last night I fell asleep before he...
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1976love
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3
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230
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making amends
(Preview)
I am going through a major time of chanege and awareness. I realize this is avery important period for me, and it doesn't come without some turmoil. It is fear and as some suggested here before, it is a kind of depresion. I experienced depression before, but of a different nature. once before there...
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tortuga
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2
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285
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More drama with my AM...
(Preview)
So I came home from work to find my AM drunk again, I went upstairs for a while came back down to find my AM and dad both at the bottom of the stairs. My AM was on the floor. She said she was coming up the stairs, fell down and twisted her right knee. Mind you she just recently had her right knee replaced a few mont...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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1
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188
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