Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

flinn66 · flinn66

For some time now, apart from the many useful Al-Anon slogans I have been using this one from AA as a kind of 'check in with myself' tool. When feeling low I need to ask myself whether I am, Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired and then address whatever need might be causing my feelings. Like everything in our sp...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Ok I'm frustrated and not going to al Alon . My AH sober 5 months final came clean to me last night.. He not only sick and twisted.. I have no more remorse for him at all.. I gave and gave and got nothing back in return that was good.. I was wondering why I was never getting responses back from family or friends...

keohone · keohone

On the 10th of April my alcoholic daughter 43year old married with 2 teenage childern daughter 16 son 15 was that drunk that she did not know what she was doing this was regular behaviuor. Her two kids had just stopped her from driving the car (she was out of booze)and put her to bed. She threatened to...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm going through a lot of resentment. Don't even know where to start. I'm 61 years old and thought I would be looking forward to retirement and a happy peaceful life until I die. Today all I can think about i: Is my son alive? Why is he distroying my life and his.... I can't have him in my life because of...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Twice I tried to talk to my sober husband about something that was worrying me. 1st attempt, he walked away while I was talking to wash his hands. 2nd attempt, he responded, i have to go to the store for soap, you need anything. Well, I blew up! What am I suppose to do? Live in a bubble and only smile and tal...

LiveLaughLove · LiveLaughLove

The last couple of months have been very difficult and I am in need of a bit of guidance. I know that there is a suggestion in AA, although not in the Big Book, and Al-Anon to not make any major life changes within one year of our A getting sober, with two of those suggestions being to not get married/sta...

el-cee · el-cee

Today my son turned 20. On today's c2c is a reading that was just for me. My hp is telling me this is the right thing.x

rookie95 · rookie95

I went to my first F2F meeting this morning. It's been hard to find a meeting that fits into my schedule. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it back to this particular one next week, but am still looking. When I first left the meeting, I thought I didn't really get anything out of it, but on my way home I broke...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi everyone: My H is putting in an application for an apt opening June 1; I have asked for this, knowing deep down I can no longer live with the ups and downs of active alcoholism. Last night he looked at me and said'well I guess I am going to put that deposit down tomorrow'; he is waiting for me to stop him.....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I take life to seriously so I am trying to lighten up a bit! I could complain about just about anything but I refuse to today. I have not had a major incident today either. I am grateful for days like these because tomorrow might be different & maybe difficult. I just have to hold on to the now...

Pushka · Pushka

What a wonderful week it has been I can't begin to tell everyone how much work I have gotten done around here. I have had some tremendous help, I think I posted some pictures eons ago that had to do with some wood the tree service brought in .. THAT is all being taken care of right now. I'm thrilled!! I hav...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi Folks Last October I went in to see my longtime asthma doctor at the hospital all my care had been at for 8 years. I was sick - and scared because I didn't know what was wrong with me. I had left this doc a voice mail saying I wasn't sure if he was the right doctor for me to see given my symptoms and that I needed...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I have a lot of things happening right now that involve tremendous change. It's the wave of uncertainty about outcomes that always does me in. I need to go back to some of the basics I've been taught through life lessons and use these tools. First I need to separate out the facts from disasterous t...

ec4245 · ec4245

My AH has been sober since November. Apparently, he decided to start drinking the last couple weeks. I cannot believe I missed it, but that is beside the point. Today his boss called him out on it at work and I am pretty sure he is going to get fired tomorrow. I am so scared about how we are going to get by...

John · John

I have not been posting or replying to post lately, mainly because I'm in a bad funk. I read some of the stuff here and on a few of the other boards on MIP and I get overwhelmed, like I have nothing to contribute that could possibly help anyone else, and I don't want to dump my "stuff" here when so many others...

Sincerely · Sincerely

OMG! Smack in the face by the past, at least hope in the past. Hubby and I were seperated 18 months. After 45 days of inpatient treatment, we are livinging together again. He's about 90 days clean and presently at intensive outpatient treatment as we speak. Well, my intentions were to make room for his...

pennyprincipal · pennyprincipal

My 34 year old alcoholic stepson has recently moved in to live with my husband of 20 years and myself. Although he showed huge promise as a youth, alcohol has robbed him of everything. He has no education, no skills, no friends, no family (divorced), no job, no drivers' license, no possessions other...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

It's only Wednesday and so far . . . My AH showed up to a counseling session with his therapist and his son with a BAC of .14 at 9:30 am. He ran into a car in the parking lot. His therapist had seen it happen and waited to see if he would mention it and when he didn't he confronted him and made him take a breathalyz...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Hi! My computer has been down for a few weeks, but the disease is still alive and well. My grandson, who receives a ss check due a learning disability, turned 18 in March. His a/a mother have been living off these funds for the past 8 yrs. and taking care of her young a/abf with her foodstamps and sec8 h...

Burses · Burses

I know I probably should take some time to lurk a while or read a few stickies so I apologize in advance for jumping the gun. I really need to get some of this out. First of all, I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting but I have considered it. I met someone in AA and we hit it off great...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I guess sometimes I have to have a moment. Yesterday I was on the radio after answering a question right. I tried only 8 times & got through. They said my name & where I am from. I guess what I am trying to say is that anyone who knows me who heard it now know my full name--first & last. But, anyhow...

falconfan00 · falconfan00

I am new to the boards here, and i am seeking help and advice. I have a family member who is abusing alcohol and perscription drugs. This person just left their second stint at rehab, this time this person was 'kicked out' of the rehab facility. They lasted less than two weeks. The rehab facility sa...

iviedoodle · iviedoodle

Well, I'm 26 years old and am a child of an alcoholic. Actually, it's more like I'm the parent (And I know that's typical for child-adult alcoholic relationships). My parents divorced when I was 4 due to my father's drug/alcohol abuse. My mother's father was an alcoholic (vodka killed him), so my mot...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know I need to turn my son(he's 14) over to God. I know that I've only done the best that I can do as a parent. I 'know' these things but still I have fear for his future. He recently overheard some of my conversation with my AH where I told my AH I was tired of his lies and the continued drinking and driving...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I am learning to detach worrywart care of myself. In doing this I am coming off as a "not nice person" . I don't have the patience for drunk neediness and chaos. And I tend to walk away and busy myself a lot. My 7 and 21 yr old see me as cold. I'm trying to learn to detach with love. But obviously am no...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I showed up late and I tried to ask who was chairing and got no response in the room. Everyone chatting at once like it was a chatroom of sorts? Maybe this is how it goes now unsure. Thanks

rookie95 · rookie95

Hello all - since I'm still new here, can someone please fill me in on what all the abreviations are? I assume that A = alcoholic, and AH might be alcoholic husband...but after that I'm totally lost. Thanks!!!

1976love · 1976love

Without getting into specifics, I not only have a recovering AH, but other family members that get me "crazy" to my very core. Today my phone rang (which was totally predictable because the other person has a responsibility that is always pushed off on someone else) and I didn't answer it...

rookie95 · rookie95

Hi all! I'm still pretty new here, and am wondering how do I manage my expectations? I seem to be having a difficult time with that. My BF has been in rehab since last Wed. He called me for a quick second (from his counselor's office) last Friday, to tell me that he was allowed to have visitors on Sunday....

blondie99 · blondie99

I had a really amazing revelation today in my Al Anon meeting. I was sharing about how I handled the situation with my XAH (still trying to get used to the "STBX" part being gone from my vernacular). I don't have children, except for my furry doggie one, so I've never quite gotten the grasp of t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everybody: I don't know a lot about the stages of grief, but I remember denial, anger and acceptance and I think that's the correct order? AH has been moving through the 3 of them, and I can only believe that because I am not wavering he is being gently nudged toward acceptance. Yesterday he looked a...

Katytexasmom · Katytexasmom

My precious 19 year old son has suffered the effects of his addiction and now the problems are snowballing. He asked for help today (wants to work with me again, especially since his misdomeaner keeps him from getting hired) and he said aid I will help him get his car/suspended license issue worked out...

willowtree · willowtree

I hope it is okay to post this here. I am struggling in alanon with a person I really do not click with. She is a long timer and everyone looks up to her. I live in a small area so I can't just switch meetings. I feel like I have tried everything to be able to be her friend. I have asked God, I have really been...

sweeetr · sweeetr

Everything I read says not to try to control or get in the way of his disease. My ah has gone to a doc that prescribed meds to not lose temper etc. but he continues to drink (a lot) So if I try to reinforce the boundary of drinking at home etc I'm wrong. He's gonna drink and I know it. Weather I see it or not. I do my...

beckon11 · beckon11

HI F RIENDS, My daughter got a dui this spring. Just found out they are treatening jail/and pulling her bond. She missed 2 ba,s. ON HER WILD bIRTHDAY WEEKEND. I am upset!! I can not save her I know. I have become responcable for all transportation. Yet have li...

Pushka · Pushka

I just wanted to vent really quick .. so much I will write out and honestly I wind up deleting it before posting it or it winds up as a draft when I go to respond to something else .. lol. Soooo .. I am very grateful that I do think the way I do, .. my atty was pregnant had her baby the second week of this month and I...

Tracy · Tracy

If someone would have told me a couple of years ago that my ABf would be sober and this well I would of laughed. I am also feeling amazing and we both deserve it we go to meetings, conventions work the steps life is so good Hp is blessing us for connecting with him and following his will. My ABF proposed on Sat...

rookie95 · rookie95

My bf has been in rehab for 5 days (not his first time). I went to visit him yesterday, with my son (age 3), and his parents. I was really looking forward to seeing him, as the last time I saw him was almost a week ago. I'm not really sure how I'm feeling now. Kind of sad, kind of disappointed, but kind of glad as...

lnc12 · lnc12

AH stayed in detox 2 days, and they let him go saying he wasn't going through withdrawals. They didn't have a bed open at rehab, so he had to come home. They were going to call him when a spot opened, but he has since opted out of that option. He's drinking again, which I knew he would if he didn't go straight f...

manor123 · manor123

This weekend I was forced to face the fact that my significant other of 14 years began using meth again, completely devestating our family. I have a 17 and 14 year old daughters from a previous relationship that he has raised as his own. Before I explain what is going on now I should back up to 2007... He wa...

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

I'm in the middle of trying to hurry up the divorce process with my stbxah. I'm so done with this marriage and I just want out as quickly as possible. He was the one who intially started saying he wanted a divorce six months ago and continues to tell me he hates me and can't wait to get me out of his life. I fina...

el-cee · el-cee

Hi, a friend of mine sent me an article about 'Toxic people' and I wanted to share the jist of it with everyone. It says that when someone harms us our body's have an involuntary reaction. 'the body's reaction to someone who has harmed you is simply that: the body's reaction, something that happens. You...

el-cee · el-cee

My life seems to be going well just now. I am getting healthier and fitter, Im even losing weight, I have good friends and a job I love but i cant get this sadness away. I am worried about my son. He is homeless, staying with friends, no home comforts, no room or space of his own, he is miserable, angry and fee...

Rinn · Rinn

I have been riding a crazy roller coaster with my husbands addiction. I am looking back and see a distirbing pattern of my thinking and wanted some thought. It seems like I always think things are getting better, like his sobriety is so close- any day now. But it never happens. It is just typical addic...

DavidG · DavidG

Oh, At the moment I am trying to draw a line in our Alanon group. {I am a GR}. Between Alanon and AA. Tough, because the boundaries between Alanon and AA run very deep. Our higher power has a deep and abiding hand in all our affairs, and I find that to be a great strength. The 'no cross-talk rule' has come acr...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I haven't been on in a while and things have Noreen going pretty good. I do have a question/dilemma haven't seen covered. The wife has really cut down the drinking a lot. I have not commented on it at all and the less attention seemed to work. She has gone from a large bottle of wine most nights to a smal...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well again tonight my AH sober told me he wants to no now if I will stay married to him when I'm better? Can't tell him that. He wants me to promise this. I can not tell the future and I don't want to give false hope. He told me tonight before he went to work that its going to be hard going to aa meetings now . Wh...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

How do I heal and move on when the AH 5 months sober will not let me get better want nothing to do with the kids. Does not want to know them he know there his kids but won't get to know them , wont i let me work on a program I just started. Still on step one. Set boundarys easy one . I asked of space and privacy to work...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so grateful that things can get better if I just get out of the way! I don't have anything to complain about. I have so much more to offer than I ever have. I am blessed beyond belief. I own my home & have plenty of money in the bank. And, to top it off my sister is still here & we are having a lot of fun...

Fool4You · Fool4You

I haven't seen my ABF in three months and last heard from him when he called me from a hospital psych ward. He was in a psych ward because he threatened suicide to a police officer AGAIN. When he called me he told me he missed me, loved and asked if I had any money. LOL There's the real reason for the call. I'm l...

bewitchedand bloodyannoyed · bewitchedand bloodyannoyed

Hi! Totally new here but I'm wondering if anyone can help me. My dad is in his mid 70s and 18 months ago my mum died. She was the light of his life but had been ill for many years (survived 20 years past her life expectancy!) and Dad had been her carer for the last few years. Over the last year or so he's been d...

Pushka · Pushka

And all I can say is it was a weekend and a half, .. I'm emotionally drained on the other hand I feel like I have taken a major step in healing myself. Confirmation was amazing .. my girl looked beautiful, my son looked sharp and yes of course there were hiccups I expected it so I tried to just keep my focus on...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

When I first moved out in August to get away from the craziness of my AH I went to my parents house. I was so homesick but I worked my way through it. I moved into my own apartment in January and was so excited to have my own little place in the world. Fast forward, 3-4 months later and I am so lonely. It is drivin...

Pipper · Pipper

Just realizing I'm back to step I again powerless over alcohol I keep forgetting that. My ah keeps flip flopping on our relationship doesn't know what he wants I'm tired of it I am still looking for the sober man he was before he relapsed after 20years sobriety we are married 29 years.Im always falling...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone: Well, the AH again said he will go to AA, really work on his issues, and if he is willing to do this, can he continue to live in the house, even as a tenant?? I say..we had talked about a June 1 moveout anyway, I have no problem with you staying here until then, so by all means I hope AA is right for yo...

forestfairy · forestfairy

Hard day today, a month since I walked out with my child and went to a shelter. Now we are back home and my ex has moved to an apt. But I was so angry today at him. Trying hard to keep it in. I am stuck with a huge workload and he came by for his golf clubs. He's got lots of free time because he's out of work. I am s...

rehprof · rehprof

just talking to my exSIL on FB...and letting her know, in a gentle way, that her brother (my exA) is in the wrong... of course her reaction is that "you are both bitter and angry..." Why does her saying that make me want to scream? He hasn't worked in 3 years, is angry and abusive, does NOTHING...

John · John

I'd Love to But....-I want to spend more time with my blender.-The man on television told me to say tuned.-It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.-I'm building a pig from a kit.-I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.-There's a disturbance in the Force.-I have to check the freshness da...

hotrod · Senior Member

katfshh Senior Member Status: OfflinePosts: 245Date: 2h, 46m ago I'm back.ReplyQuoteMore Edit PostDelete PostBan IPReport Spam Hi everyone, I have been such a bad member lately. But, I am back. I have had so many positive things happen in the last 10 months since my AF left! It really is almosst cre...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I have faced the fact that my marriage of 26 years is broken beyond repair because he doesn't want or doesn't have the willpower to stick to a treatment/abstinence program. I quit a horrible job last month and don't have any prospects of anything on the horizon. I went to the beach last week and there are...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	HALT (Preview) For some time now, apart from the many useful Al-Anon slogans I have been using this one from AA as a kind of 'check in with myself' tool. When feeling low I need to ask myself whether I am, Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired and then address whatever need might be causing my feelings. Like everything in our sp...	flinn66	7	462	May 5, 2013 by Pushka
	Just when u think inventory was done (Preview) Ok I'm frustrated and not going to al Alon . My AH sober 5 months final came clean to me last night.. He not only sick and twisted.. I have no more remorse for him at all.. I gave and gave and got nothing back in return that was good.. I was wondering why I was never getting responses back from family or friends...	Ms co-dependent	5	620	May 4, 2013 by Sincerely
	suicide (Preview) On the 10th of April my alcoholic daughter 43year old married with 2 teenage childern daughter 16 son 15 was that drunk that she did not know what she was doing this was regular behaviuor. Her two kids had just stopped her from driving the car (she was out of booze)and put her to bed. She threatened to...	keohone	22	1235	May 4, 2013 by hotrod
	Resentment (Preview) I'm going through a lot of resentment. Don't even know where to start. I'm 61 years old and thought I would be looking forward to retirement and a happy peaceful life until I die. Today all I can think about i: Is my son alive? Why is he distroying my life and his.... I can't have him in my life because of...	Cathyinaz	16	1064	May 4, 2013 by flinn66
	Should I just keep my feelings/thoughts to myself? (Preview) Twice I tried to talk to my sober husband about something that was worrying me. 1st attempt, he walked away while I was talking to wash his hands. 2nd attempt, he responded, i have to go to the store for soap, you need anything. Well, I blew up! What am I suppose to do? Live in a bubble and only smile and tal...	Sincerely	7	401	May 4, 2013 by el-cee
	The One Year Rule (or suggestion) (Preview) The last couple of months have been very difficult and I am in need of a bit of guidance. I know that there is a suggestion in AA, although not in the Big Book, and Al-Anon to not make any major life changes within one year of our A getting sober, with two of those suggestions being to not get married/sta...	LiveLaughLove	12	652	May 4, 2013 by LiveLaughLove
	hp talking to me (Preview) Today my son turned 20. On today's c2c is a reading that was just for me. My hp is telling me this is the right thing.x	el-cee	3	377	May 4, 2013 by Pushka
	First F2F Meeting (Preview) I went to my first F2F meeting this morning. It's been hard to find a meeting that fits into my schedule. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it back to this particular one next week, but am still looking. When I first left the meeting, I thought I didn't really get anything out of it, but on my way home I broke...	rookie95	4	453	May 4, 2013 by el-cee
	needing support today (Preview) Hi everyone: My H is putting in an application for an apt opening June 1; I have asked for this, knowing deep down I can no longer live with the ups and downs of active alcoholism. Last night he looked at me and said'well I guess I am going to put that deposit down tomorrow'; he is waiting for me to stop him.....	yanksfan51	8	452	May 4, 2013 by el-cee
	don't take life too seriously... (Preview) Sometimes I take life to seriously so I am trying to lighten up a bit! I could complain about just about anything but I refuse to today. I have not had a major incident today either. I am grateful for days like these because tomorrow might be different & maybe difficult. I just have to hold on to the now...	Hoot Nanny	2	550	May 4, 2013 by el-cee
	It's FRIDAY!!! :) (Preview) What a wonderful week it has been I can't begin to tell everyone how much work I have gotten done around here. I have had some tremendous help, I think I posted some pictures eons ago that had to do with some wood the tree service brought in .. THAT is all being taken care of right now. I'm thrilled!! I hav...	Pushka	3	251	May 3, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Boundaries (Preview) Hi Folks Last October I went in to see my longtime asthma doctor at the hospital all my care had been at for 8 years. I was sick - and scared because I didn't know what was wrong with me. I had left this doc a voice mail saying I wasn't sure if he was the right doctor for me to see given my symptoms and that I needed...	WorkingThroughIt	6	439	May 3, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Trying not to Obsess Trying to Let Go and Let God (Preview) I have a lot of things happening right now that involve tremendous change. It's the wave of uncertainty about outcomes that always does me in. I need to go back to some of the basics I've been taught through life lessons and use these tools. First I need to separate out the facts from disasterous t...	tiredtonite	6	326	May 3, 2013 by tiredtonite
	New here and need some prayers/thoughts.... (Preview) My AH has been sober since November. Apparently, he decided to start drinking the last couple weeks. I cannot believe I missed it, but that is beside the point. Today his boss called him out on it at work and I am pretty sure he is going to get fired tomorrow. I am so scared about how we are going to get by...	ec4245	5	404	May 3, 2013 by Pushka
	In a Funk and I hate it! (Preview) I have not been posting or replying to post lately, mainly because I'm in a bad funk. I read some of the stuff here and on a few of the other boards on MIP and I get overwhelmed, like I have nothing to contribute that could possibly help anyone else, and I don't want to dump my "stuff" here when so many others...	John	14	640	May 3, 2013 by Katy
	My intentions were good! Got my feelings hurt! (Preview) OMG! Smack in the face by the past, at least hope in the past. Hubby and I were seperated 18 months. After 45 days of inpatient treatment, we are livinging together again. He's about 90 days clean and presently at intensive outpatient treatment as we speak. Well, my intentions were to make room for his...	Sincerely	3	2526	May 3, 2013 by ryanhearted
	The precarious position of a step-parent (Preview) My 34 year old alcoholic stepson has recently moved in to live with my husband of 20 years and myself. Although he showed huge promise as a youth, alcohol has robbed him of everything. He has no education, no skills, no friends, no family (divorced), no job, no drivers' license, no possessions other...	pennyprincipal	7	538	May 3, 2013 by Jerry F
	A Week of Insanity (Preview) It's only Wednesday and so far . . . My AH showed up to a counseling session with his therapist and his son with a BAC of .14 at 9:30 am. He ran into a car in the parking lot. His therapist had seen it happen and waited to see if he would mention it and when he didn't he confronted him and made him take a breathalyz...	wornoutmrsfixit	12	478	May 3, 2013 by AngieP
	Hating this disease more and more each day!! (Preview) Hi! My computer has been down for a few weeks, but the disease is still alive and well. My grandson, who receives a ss check due a learning disability, turned 18 in March. His a/a mother have been living off these funds for the past 8 yrs. and taking care of her young a/abf with her foodstamps and sec8 h...	Highlyfavored	2	261	May 3, 2013 by Pushka
	So sick of my AGF's chaos (Preview) I know I probably should take some time to lurk a while or read a few stickies so I apologize in advance for jumping the gun. I really need to get some of this out. First of all, I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting but I have considered it. I met someone in AA and we hit it off great...	Burses	8	637	May 2, 2013 by hotrod
	talk about breaking my anonymity(funny please read) (Preview) I guess sometimes I have to have a moment. Yesterday I was on the radio after answering a question right. I tried only 8 times & got through. They said my name & where I am from. I guess what I am trying to say is that anyone who knows me who heard it now know my full name--first & last. But, anyhow...	Hoot Nanny	1	304	May 3, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Help with boundaries! Children... (Preview) I am new to the boards here, and i am seeking help and advice. I have a family member who is abusing alcohol and perscription drugs. This person just left their second stint at rehab, this time this person was 'kicked out' of the rehab facility. They lasted less than two weeks. The rehab facility sa...	falconfan00	9	517	May 3, 2013 by Mattie
	Set my boundaries, now what? Adult child dad boundaries help (Preview) Well, I'm 26 years old and am a child of an alcoholic. Actually, it's more like I'm the parent (And I know that's typical for child-adult alcoholic relationships). My parents divorced when I was 4 due to my father's drug/alcohol abuse. My mother's father was an alcoholic (vodka killed him), so my mot...	iviedoodle	2	4865	May 2, 2013 by Mattie
	Overwhelming fear for my son (Preview) I know I need to turn my son(he's 14) over to God. I know that I've only done the best that I can do as a parent. I 'know' these things but still I have fear for his future. He recently overheard some of my conversation with my AH where I told my AH I was tired of his lies and the continued drinking and driving...	ilovedogs	14	563	May 2, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Am a really heartless?? (Preview) I am learning to detach worrywart care of myself. In doing this I am coming off as a "not nice person" . I don't have the patience for drunk neediness and chaos. And I tend to walk away and busy myself a lot. My 7 and 21 yr old see me as cold. I'm trying to learn to detach with love. But obviously am no...	sweeetr	5	470	May 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	Is anyone chairing the al-anon meeting tonight at 9pm? (Preview) I showed up late and I tried to ask who was chairing and got no response in the room. Everyone chatting at once like it was a chatroom of sorts? Maybe this is how it goes now unsure. Thanks	Breakingfree	2	227	May 2, 2013 by Breakingfree
	abreviations (Preview) Hello all - since I'm still new here, can someone please fill me in on what all the abreviations are? I assume that A = alcoholic, and AH might be alcoholic husband...but after that I'm totally lost. Thanks!!!	rookie95	3	492	May 2, 2013 by hotrod
	I did it. (Preview) Without getting into specifics, I not only have a recovering AH, but other family members that get me "crazy" to my very core. Today my phone rang (which was totally predictable because the other person has a responsibility that is always pushed off on someone else) and I didn't answer it...	1976love	9	386	May 2, 2013 by Pushka
	Expectations (Preview) Hi all! I'm still pretty new here, and am wondering how do I manage my expectations? I seem to be having a difficult time with that. My BF has been in rehab since last Wed. He called me for a quick second (from his counselor's office) last Friday, to tell me that he was allowed to have visitors on Sunday....	rookie95	6	441	May 2, 2013 by rookie95
	Mama Bear (Preview) I had a really amazing revelation today in my Al Anon meeting. I was sharing about how I handled the situation with my XAH (still trying to get used to the "STBX" part being gone from my vernacular). I don't have children, except for my furry doggie one, so I've never quite gotten the grasp of t...	blondie99	4	312	May 1, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	the stages of grief (Preview) Hi Everybody: I don't know a lot about the stages of grief, but I remember denial, anger and acceptance and I think that's the correct order? AH has been moving through the 3 of them, and I can only believe that because I am not wavering he is being gently nudged toward acceptance. Yesterday he looked a...	yanksfan51	4	653	May 1, 2013 by DavidG
	Helping vs enabling (Preview) My precious 19 year old son has suffered the effects of his addiction and now the problems are snowballing. He asked for help today (wants to work with me again, especially since his misdomeaner keeps him from getting hired) and he said aid I will help him get his car/suspended license issue worked out...	Katytexasmom	12	808	May 1, 2013 by oldergal
	Not sure what to do (Preview) I hope it is okay to post this here. I am struggling in alanon with a person I really do not click with. She is a long timer and everyone looks up to her. I live in a small area so I can't just switch meetings. I feel like I have tried everything to be able to be her friend. I have asked God, I have really been...	willowtree	5	470	May 1, 2013 by afglin
	Not understanding (Preview) Everything I read says not to try to control or get in the way of his disease. My ah has gone to a doc that prescribed meds to not lose temper etc. but he continues to drink (a lot) So if I try to reinforce the boundary of drinking at home etc I'm wrong. He's gonna drink and I know it. Weather I see it or not. I do my...	sweeetr	5	278	May 1, 2013 by HappyToBe
	19 yr old daughter/pushing for jail (Preview) HI F RIENDS, My daughter got a dui this spring. Just found out they are treatening jail/and pulling her bond. She missed 2 ba,s. ON HER WILD bIRTHDAY WEEKEND. I am upset!! I can not save her I know. I have become responcable for all transportation. Yet have li...	beckon11	6	324	May 1, 2013 by el-cee
	Sleezy is as sleezy does .. (Preview) I just wanted to vent really quick .. so much I will write out and honestly I wind up deleting it before posting it or it winds up as a draft when I go to respond to something else .. lol. Soooo .. I am very grateful that I do think the way I do, .. my atty was pregnant had her baby the second week of this month and I...	Pushka	4	401	May 1, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Soooo happy (Preview) If someone would have told me a couple of years ago that my ABf would be sober and this well I would of laughed. I am also feeling amazing and we both deserve it we go to meetings, conventions work the steps life is so good Hp is blessing us for connecting with him and following his will. My ABF proposed on Sat...	Tracy	5	251	May 1, 2013 by pinkchip
	Visited bf in rehab, not sure how im feeling (Preview) My bf has been in rehab for 5 days (not his first time). I went to visit him yesterday, with my son (age 3), and his parents. I was really looking forward to seeing him, as the last time I saw him was almost a week ago. I'm not really sure how I'm feeling now. Kind of sad, kind of disappointed, but kind of glad as...	rookie95	4	477	May 1, 2013 by hotrod
	Going crazy (Preview) AH stayed in detox 2 days, and they let him go saying he wasn't going through withdrawals. They didn't have a bed open at rehab, so he had to come home. They were going to call him when a spot opened, but he has since opted out of that option. He's drinking again, which I knew he would if he didn't go straight f...	lnc12	7	422	May 1, 2013 by bud
	Ending A Relationship (Preview) This weekend I was forced to face the fact that my significant other of 14 years began using meth again, completely devestating our family. I have a 17 and 14 year old daughters from a previous relationship that he has raised as his own. Before I explain what is going on now I should back up to 2007... He wa...	manor123	3	603	May 1, 2013 by Breakingfree
	divorce frustrations (Preview) I'm in the middle of trying to hurry up the divorce process with my stbxah. I'm so done with this marriage and I just want out as quickly as possible. He was the one who intially started saying he wanted a divorce six months ago and continues to tell me he hates me and can't wait to get me out of his life. I fina...	scaredandconfused	3	431	May 1, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Toxic people (Preview) Hi, a friend of mine sent me an article about 'Toxic people' and I wanted to share the jist of it with everyone. It says that when someone harms us our body's have an involuntary reaction. 'the body's reaction to someone who has harmed you is simply that: the body's reaction, something that happens. You...	el-cee	6	1071	May 1, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Feeling down! (Preview) My life seems to be going well just now. I am getting healthier and fitter, Im even losing weight, I have good friends and a job I love but i cant get this sadness away. I am worried about my son. He is homeless, staying with friends, no home comforts, no room or space of his own, he is miserable, angry and fee...	el-cee	8	400	May 1, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Dont' give up, any day now, hope is around the corner... (Preview) I have been riding a crazy roller coaster with my husbands addiction. I am looking back and see a distirbing pattern of my thinking and wanted some thought. It seems like I always think things are getting better, like his sobriety is so close- any day now. But it never happens. It is just typical addic...	Rinn	10	567	Apr 30, 2013 by PP
	Cross-talk in Alanon... (Preview) Oh, At the moment I am trying to draw a line in our Alanon group. {I am a GR}. Between Alanon and AA. Tough, because the boundaries between Alanon and AA run very deep. Our higher power has a deep and abiding hand in all our affairs, and I find that to be a great strength. The 'no cross-talk rule' has come acr...	DavidG	7	3406	Apr 30, 2013 by Breakingfree
	How to respond (Preview) I haven't been on in a while and things have Noreen going pretty good. I do have a question/dilemma haven't seen covered. The wife has really cut down the drinking a lot. I have not commented on it at all and the less attention seemed to work. She has gone from a large bottle of wine most nights to a smal...	hdftby100	4	345	Apr 30, 2013 by PP
	Here comes the guilt (Preview) Well again tonight my AH sober told me he wants to no now if I will stay married to him when I'm better? Can't tell him that. He wants me to promise this. I can not tell the future and I don't want to give false hope. He told me tonight before he went to work that its going to be hard going to aa meetings now . Wh...	Ms co-dependent	5	609	Apr 30, 2013 by canadianguy
	Not making it easy for me to get better (Preview) How do I heal and move on when the AH 5 months sober will not let me get better want nothing to do with the kids. Does not want to know them he know there his kids but won't get to know them , wont i let me work on a program I just started. Still on step one. Set boundarys easy one . I asked of space and privacy to work...	Ms co-dependent	4	416	Apr 30, 2013 by pinkchip
	it does get better! (Preview) I am so grateful that things can get better if I just get out of the way! I don't have anything to complain about. I have so much more to offer than I ever have. I am blessed beyond belief. I own my home & have plenty of money in the bank. And, to top it off my sister is still here & we are having a lot of fun...	Hoot Nanny	1	324	Apr 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	Minding my own business (Preview) I haven't seen my ABF in three months and last heard from him when he called me from a hospital psych ward. He was in a psych ward because he threatened suicide to a police officer AGAIN. When he called me he told me he missed me, loved and asked if I had any money. LOL There's the real reason for the call. I'm l...	Fool4You	5	495	Apr 30, 2013 by Fool4You
	Adding more broken promises to the large pile. Coping with hope. (Preview) Hi! Totally new here but I'm wondering if anyone can help me. My dad is in his mid 70s and 18 months ago my mum died. She was the light of his life but had been ill for many years (survived 20 years past her life expectancy!) and Dad had been her carer for the last few years. Over the last year or so he's been d...	bewitchedand bloodyannoyed	2	347	Apr 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	Weekend update .. (Preview) And all I can say is it was a weekend and a half, .. I'm emotionally drained on the other hand I feel like I have taken a major step in healing myself. Confirmation was amazing .. my girl looked beautiful, my son looked sharp and yes of course there were hiccups I expected it so I tried to just keep my focus on...	Pushka	6	449	Apr 30, 2013 by Minaret
	Ugh!! Loneliness and Mad At HP (Preview) When I first moved out in August to get away from the craziness of my AH I went to my parents house. I was so homesick but I worked my way through it. I moved into my own apartment in January and was so excited to have my own little place in the world. Fast forward, 3-4 months later and I am so lonely. It is drivin...	wornoutmrsfixit	24	722	Apr 29, 2013 by katfshh
	Back to step one (Preview) Just realizing I'm back to step I again powerless over alcohol I keep forgetting that. My ah keeps flip flopping on our relationship doesn't know what he wants I'm tired of it I am still looking for the sober man he was before he relapsed after 20years sobriety we are married 29 years.Im always falling...	Pipper	4	292	Apr 29, 2013 by Jerry F
	made it through the weekend (Preview) Hi Everyone: Well, the AH again said he will go to AA, really work on his issues, and if he is willing to do this, can he continue to live in the house, even as a tenant?? I say..we had talked about a June 1 moveout anyway, I have no problem with you staying here until then, so by all means I hope AA is right for yo...	yanksfan51	5	398	Apr 29, 2013 by pinkchip
	Letting go of anger (Preview) Hard day today, a month since I walked out with my child and went to a shelter. Now we are back home and my ex has moved to an apt. But I was so angry today at him. Trying hard to keep it in. I am stuck with a huge workload and he came by for his golf clubs. He's got lots of free time because he's out of work. I am s...	forestfairy	9	622	Apr 29, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I screwed up -- what is this about? (Preview) just talking to my exSIL on FB...and letting her know, in a gentle way, that her brother (my exA) is in the wrong... of course her reaction is that "you are both bitter and angry..." Why does her saying that make me want to scream? He hasn't worked in 3 years, is angry and abusive, does NOTHING...	rehprof	18	575	Apr 29, 2013 by Pushka
	Just funny! (Preview) I'd Love to But....-I want to spend more time with my blender.-The man on television told me to say tuned.-It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.-I'm building a pig from a kit.-I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.-There's a disturbance in the Force.-I have to check the freshness da...	John	2	301	Apr 29, 2013 by milkwood
	katfshh message from the mystery board (Preview) katfshh Senior Member Status: OfflinePosts: 245Date: 2h, 46m ago I'm back.ReplyQuoteMore Edit PostDelete PostBan IPReport Spam Hi everyone, I have been such a bad member lately. But, I am back. I have had so many positive things happen in the last 10 months since my AF left! It really is almosst cre...	hotrod	7	501	Apr 29, 2013 by katfshh
	Thinking of Making Some Huge Changes (Preview) I have faced the fact that my marriage of 26 years is broken beyond repair because he doesn't want or doesn't have the willpower to stick to a treatment/abstinence program. I quit a horrible job last month and don't have any prospects of anything on the horizon. I went to the beach last week and there are...	wornoutmrsfixit	17	630	Apr 29, 2013 by Pushka
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