Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lnc12 · lnc12

AH stayed in detox 2 days, and they let him go saying he wasn't going through withdrawals. They didn't have a bed open at rehab, so he had to come home. They were going to call him when a spot opened, but he has since opted out of that option. He's drinking again, which I knew he would if he didn't go straight f...

manor123 · manor123

This weekend I was forced to face the fact that my significant other of 14 years began using meth again, completely devestating our family. I have a 17 and 14 year old daughters from a previous relationship that he has raised as his own. Before I explain what is going on now I should back up to 2007... He wa...

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

I'm in the middle of trying to hurry up the divorce process with my stbxah. I'm so done with this marriage and I just want out as quickly as possible. He was the one who intially started saying he wanted a divorce six months ago and continues to tell me he hates me and can't wait to get me out of his life. I fina...

el-cee · el-cee

Hi, a friend of mine sent me an article about 'Toxic people' and I wanted to share the jist of it with everyone. It says that when someone harms us our body's have an involuntary reaction. 'the body's reaction to someone who has harmed you is simply that: the body's reaction, something that happens. You...

el-cee · el-cee

My life seems to be going well just now. I am getting healthier and fitter, Im even losing weight, I have good friends and a job I love but i cant get this sadness away. I am worried about my son. He is homeless, staying with friends, no home comforts, no room or space of his own, he is miserable, angry and fee...

Rinn · Rinn

I have been riding a crazy roller coaster with my husbands addiction. I am looking back and see a distirbing pattern of my thinking and wanted some thought. It seems like I always think things are getting better, like his sobriety is so close- any day now. But it never happens. It is just typical addic...

DavidG · DavidG

Oh, At the moment I am trying to draw a line in our Alanon group. {I am a GR}. Between Alanon and AA. Tough, because the boundaries between Alanon and AA run very deep. Our higher power has a deep and abiding hand in all our affairs, and I find that to be a great strength. The 'no cross-talk rule' has come acr...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I haven't been on in a while and things have Noreen going pretty good. I do have a question/dilemma haven't seen covered. The wife has really cut down the drinking a lot. I have not commented on it at all and the less attention seemed to work. She has gone from a large bottle of wine most nights to a smal...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well again tonight my AH sober told me he wants to no now if I will stay married to him when I'm better? Can't tell him that. He wants me to promise this. I can not tell the future and I don't want to give false hope. He told me tonight before he went to work that its going to be hard going to aa meetings now . Wh...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

How do I heal and move on when the AH 5 months sober will not let me get better want nothing to do with the kids. Does not want to know them he know there his kids but won't get to know them , wont i let me work on a program I just started. Still on step one. Set boundarys easy one . I asked of space and privacy to work...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so grateful that things can get better if I just get out of the way! I don't have anything to complain about. I have so much more to offer than I ever have. I am blessed beyond belief. I own my home & have plenty of money in the bank. And, to top it off my sister is still here & we are having a lot of fun...

Fool4You · Fool4You

I haven't seen my ABF in three months and last heard from him when he called me from a hospital psych ward. He was in a psych ward because he threatened suicide to a police officer AGAIN. When he called me he told me he missed me, loved and asked if I had any money. LOL There's the real reason for the call. I'm l...

bewitchedand bloodyannoyed · bewitchedand bloodyannoyed

Hi! Totally new here but I'm wondering if anyone can help me. My dad is in his mid 70s and 18 months ago my mum died. She was the light of his life but had been ill for many years (survived 20 years past her life expectancy!) and Dad had been her carer for the last few years. Over the last year or so he's been d...

Pushka · Pushka

And all I can say is it was a weekend and a half, .. I'm emotionally drained on the other hand I feel like I have taken a major step in healing myself. Confirmation was amazing .. my girl looked beautiful, my son looked sharp and yes of course there were hiccups I expected it so I tried to just keep my focus on...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

When I first moved out in August to get away from the craziness of my AH I went to my parents house. I was so homesick but I worked my way through it. I moved into my own apartment in January and was so excited to have my own little place in the world. Fast forward, 3-4 months later and I am so lonely. It is drivin...

Pipper · Pipper

Just realizing I'm back to step I again powerless over alcohol I keep forgetting that. My ah keeps flip flopping on our relationship doesn't know what he wants I'm tired of it I am still looking for the sober man he was before he relapsed after 20years sobriety we are married 29 years.Im always falling...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone: Well, the AH again said he will go to AA, really work on his issues, and if he is willing to do this, can he continue to live in the house, even as a tenant?? I say..we had talked about a June 1 moveout anyway, I have no problem with you staying here until then, so by all means I hope AA is right for yo...

forestfairy · forestfairy

Hard day today, a month since I walked out with my child and went to a shelter. Now we are back home and my ex has moved to an apt. But I was so angry today at him. Trying hard to keep it in. I am stuck with a huge workload and he came by for his golf clubs. He's got lots of free time because he's out of work. I am s...

rehprof · rehprof

just talking to my exSIL on FB...and letting her know, in a gentle way, that her brother (my exA) is in the wrong... of course her reaction is that "you are both bitter and angry..." Why does her saying that make me want to scream? He hasn't worked in 3 years, is angry and abusive, does NOTHING...

John · John

I'd Love to But....-I want to spend more time with my blender.-The man on television told me to say tuned.-It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.-I'm building a pig from a kit.-I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.-There's a disturbance in the Force.-I have to check the freshness da...

hotrod · Senior Member

katfshh Senior Member Status: OfflinePosts: 245Date: 2h, 46m ago I'm back.ReplyQuoteMore Edit PostDelete PostBan IPReport Spam Hi everyone, I have been such a bad member lately. But, I am back. I have had so many positive things happen in the last 10 months since my AF left! It really is almosst cre...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I have faced the fact that my marriage of 26 years is broken beyond repair because he doesn't want or doesn't have the willpower to stick to a treatment/abstinence program. I quit a horrible job last month and don't have any prospects of anything on the horizon. I went to the beach last week and there are...

blondie99 · blondie99

XAH came by the house yesterday morning to pick up the rest of his belongings, and my BFF took me to a notary yesterday afternoon to sign the divorce papers. Wow. I never would have thought that 10 years ago when we met that this is where I'd be. I was going to take the papers to the courthouse yesterday, bu...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I'm slowly learning to focus on myself, to make myself a better person..I'm learning to improve my self confidence. I'm spending time with friends.and I'm laughing again, really laughing and I haven't done that in a long time. I'm learning to surrender the person who my A used to be, and I'm taking car...

souljoy · souljoy

do we wake up and then decide to take back our self respect? I do pretty well most of the time but today has been frustrating and I feel like my energy is drained. Dealing with my AH in any way does not work. I can say hello and it is wrong. If I am kind if I am confrontive if I am compassionate or whatever it doe...

imom · imom

I want to start a a new law that allows people to get restraining orders based on emotional abuse. I don't understand why someone needs to be assaulted or threatened to be protected. I know that I have the right to leave, but my children have begged me not to leave our house and our pets. He is in our hous...

Cam0612 · Cam0612

Hi there, I'm new and feel so lost. My husband admitted to being an alcoholic about six months ago. He was actively involved in AA but then started drinking again. I made him leave the house. we have an 8 year did daughter I am trying to protect. He ended up in detox and was doing well for about six weeks. I r...

NicoleDiver · NicoleDiver

My mom asked me if I could receive personal mail at work. Translation: "I have some hate mail I want to send you that I don't want your AH to read." She's really good at that. Every 2 years or so she writes me a hateful letter, threatens to write me out of her will (I've told her I don't want her $...

wildrosejmj · wildrosejmj

Hi, Where to start. My husband has been an alcoholic since 1994. Well, I'm sure he was before that but in the 4 years I knew him before that he wasn't. He didn't start drinking inappropriately until after our oldest child was born in Jan. of that year. I knew nothing about alcoholism or what it looke...

Aloha · Aloha

This morning I got a phone call from what I'm pretty sure was a collections agency looking for my ex. After almost three years of being divorced, I'm still getting these phone calls. It really surprised me because I hadn't received any in probably over a year, year-and-a-half. Thus far I've just maint...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH passed away a few months ago and left me with nothing but his business debt. We lost our home and savings due to his poor business decisions that were made in the cloud of his alcoholism. I had taken out a small life insurance policy through my work, which covered the burial costs and paid a few bills,...

Alea · Alea

Hello - This is my first post in this group. My husband of 10 years is a RAH- he started trying a few years back, had some relapses, but is finally going to AA and appears to be getting something from it- I am relieved and I feel blessed that he is doing this- We have a 2 and 3 year old and they deserve a whole fami...

hope4ever · hope4ever

Last night I was at a meeting and afterwards I was talking to my sponsor - who to be perfectly honest... I really didn't enjoy as a sponsor and we are done with all the steps- I don't really call her because she feels very cold to me and I feel like she has no heart connection and I am very heart centered...not...

Jerry F · Jerry F

made it into Hilo and we get together for a late lunch and memories and "get to know you" conversation. Her husband is a delight to talk with and she found my wife delightful also. It was very very nice because she is one of the first foundation stones in my recovery in the program. I am not a...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi All: Welcoming ESH: I am all ears, here is the latest on my end: early this week AH declares 'Good News! Ready for AA' after a night on the town where he ends up sleeping in car; my reaction is anger, but I do my best to give polite but distanced support ('that sounds very positive for you, I hope you get som...

rehprof · rehprof

The exA was supposed to pick up both kids today...when i arrived home from work, he was walking out the door with only the younger one...saying that the teenager was being difficult so he could just stay home. The exA was ticked off. when I walked in the house, I could see the hurt in the 16yo's eyes. Ever...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, maybe I shouldn't be so excited or maybe I should? My sister is here & I am so happy! She is so laid back & so not CA! I am so glad that I can see how easy it is to talk to her & that I shouldn't be worried about what I say or think. She "is" my sister after all! What am I worried about; wel...

bellaswan · bellaswan

My husband of 13 years has just realized within the past year he is an alcoholic. I have a ton of questions and don't really have anyone to talk to about this. I've tried to go to a local meeting here but it never works out with my work schedule and our kids. We've been together for 22 years and have two won...

Pushka · Pushka

Lots of good stuff happening over the past few weekends, .. got to go to a lovely event last weekend that was through the community and some very dear friends. VERY excited to share a lot of memories and be included into something that I wouldn't be doing had the past year not happened. This weekend is m...

blondie99 · blondie99

Well, today went as well as can be expected. STBXAH came by the house late this afternoon with the signed divorce papers and a little $ to start paying me back. It was incredibly hard to see him. He gave mea hug but I just couldn't go there. When he hugged me I just couldn't reciprocate. I heard and felt a so...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

My thinking is a relationship with my 20 year partner ( never been married )shouldn't be brought up in this forum but now time has past and as I'm learning more and more about me I find I'm not happy here. When we first got together he was bankrupt, lost his home and wife and no job. Well Cathy came along, f...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Just a quick note guys since 2 posts had me wanting to share the same info. If you are looking for a therapist for yourself it does help to ask if they have 12 step knowledge and alanon knowledge. All therapists basically will say they have "expertise" in addictions because that is one of th...

rookie95 · rookie95

My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He has been for a long time. He's been to rehab before (before we met) and it hasn't helped. He decided the other day that he wanted to go again. Said that he is serious this time. I am really hoping that he means it. Have so many questions. What do I do when he comes home?...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, This past week has been a rough week. My alcoholic has been going non-stop. He has even considered buying into the local bar he frequents, which is a topic of another thread. I was doing so well before that. Going to meetings, speaking, being serene. This news suddenly brought up a bunch of...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All I got my every two week text from my son asking about his job he was to start last week asking me if I heard anything. I said NOPE. He then came back with that was not nice so I texted back... I'm sorry...no I haven't heard anything. I told him he should call them again and he said he would...

Rinn · Rinn

Today I am frustrated. I am having a hard time figuring out what I need and how to get it, or state it. I am at a very confused grumpy place... Husband took off last night in middle of night, woke up at 4am he wasn't here. He went to ex wifes. (no not cheating... she works nights and we are friends she gave...

bmoore07 · bmoore07

I am 21 and my SO is 31 i have been with him almost 5 years. I didn't really realize his drinking problem until after I got pregnant with our first. I left him a month after I found out. He promised he would stop and a few weeks later he had to stop and get some when we had no money. At the time I didn't understand a...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I'm realizing, now that my focus and attention (obsession) is slowly moving away from my AH and all his crazy behavior, I can spend my time focusing on me and all of MY issues. This sounds simple and obvious, but it was really a revelation for me today. I spent my whole lunch hour today thinking about ME, n...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

ok having a hard time dealling with my AH sober 5 moths. i have no privacy . he insecure . im very angry. last year he cheated but it wasnt him it was the bottle and beer. well after a year of having the affair with promises and gifts to go with it, and the add on the family plan cell phone because it was costi...

shyrose · shyrose

Hi all, I'm sure some of you have experience with this. I want to support my alcholic in being active in AA. I do this by supporting her going to five meetings a week and trying to be supportive of meetings with AA friends, her sponsor, and sponsees, even when there isn't a lot of of time for 'us'. Lately...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

This may seem like a dumb question to ask, but has anyone dealt with alcoholism with more than one person in their immediate family? I dealt with my brother who was an A and a drug addict for years. He's now been clean for 4 years! :) That was very hard to deal with..but now I have my mom who's an A and it's even...

blondie99 · blondie99

Over the last several months, I've been getting the runaround from my STBXAH regarding the divorce papers. It finally came to a head yesterday in several phone calls. I finally had the "come to Jesus" talk with him because I was tired of his shenanigans. He said that he felt like he was being...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am embarrassed to tell you, that my guy is so sick, says he is at the bottom. I walked away. I will not allow myself to be dragged down from his situation. He can stay in his pit along with all his addicts and coda is that right? Children of an addict? His coda children and make his grandchildren like his ow...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a gratful member of al-anon family groups. The alcoholic that qualifies me for al-anon is my father. I just spoke with him on the phone. Over the last little while he has been frequenting a local watering hole and is a regular. He has even become friends with the...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Just needed to vent. I'm tired of hearing: I love you, I want to grow old with you. I'm done drinking. I'm changing. I want to be in God's will. I know I've done wrong and I have to make up for it and I want our marriage to make it. Only to realize that it's all leading me to believe he's changing when in reali...

Sincerely · Sincerely

HP is right on time with this one! My anxiety has been rising in reference to when my Husband was going to go back to work and continue Intensive Outpatient Treatment. I prayed and did my best to let go and let HP handle that situation and never brought it up to my Husband. Husband knows what he has to do,...

Jozie · Jozie

It Truly Saddens me at times the Powerless I Feel over Life! Not Just Mine but those I Love... Thank God for My Program, and the TRUE People that Support me in my Journey! It Seems know matter how much I learn about the Disease, it still doesn't change the Sickness! There are Times I Feel Life comes at me wit...

jhhess · jhhess

I'm new to these boards and I wanted to introduce myself and explain how I got here. This is not my first time in Al Anon. I was married to an alcoholic for 20 years and that marriage ended (much to my relief) about 12 years ago. I struggled greatly with all the issues that alcoholism brings. My own and his....

HappyToBe · HappyToBe

Hi all. Pretty much new to be posting here and haven't done so for few weeks now, but I keep coming back almost every evening to read your stories for support and encouragment. So much resonates in me, I just cannot stop :) (careful: this will be a very long rant) So, to the topic of this share. 5 days ago I f...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Not even 24 hrs ago I posted about my progress. I really felt proud of myself yesterday. Tonight, I am here alone, no idea where AH is. He lied again, I figured out the deception and confronted him this morning, angry and scolding, how can you keep doing this, I screamed. I left for work and havent heard...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Going crazy (Preview) AH stayed in detox 2 days, and they let him go saying he wasn't going through withdrawals. They didn't have a bed open at rehab, so he had to come home. They were going to call him when a spot opened, but he has since opted out of that option. He's drinking again, which I knew he would if he didn't go straight f...	lnc12	7	369	May 1, 2013 by bud
	Ending A Relationship (Preview) This weekend I was forced to face the fact that my significant other of 14 years began using meth again, completely devestating our family. I have a 17 and 14 year old daughters from a previous relationship that he has raised as his own. Before I explain what is going on now I should back up to 2007... He wa...	manor123	3	540	May 1, 2013 by Breakingfree
	divorce frustrations (Preview) I'm in the middle of trying to hurry up the divorce process with my stbxah. I'm so done with this marriage and I just want out as quickly as possible. He was the one who intially started saying he wanted a divorce six months ago and continues to tell me he hates me and can't wait to get me out of his life. I fina...	scaredandconfused	3	377	May 1, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Toxic people (Preview) Hi, a friend of mine sent me an article about 'Toxic people' and I wanted to share the jist of it with everyone. It says that when someone harms us our body's have an involuntary reaction. 'the body's reaction to someone who has harmed you is simply that: the body's reaction, something that happens. You...	el-cee	6	992	May 1, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Feeling down! (Preview) My life seems to be going well just now. I am getting healthier and fitter, Im even losing weight, I have good friends and a job I love but i cant get this sadness away. I am worried about my son. He is homeless, staying with friends, no home comforts, no room or space of his own, he is miserable, angry and fee...	el-cee	8	343	May 1, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Dont' give up, any day now, hope is around the corner... (Preview) I have been riding a crazy roller coaster with my husbands addiction. I am looking back and see a distirbing pattern of my thinking and wanted some thought. It seems like I always think things are getting better, like his sobriety is so close- any day now. But it never happens. It is just typical addic...	Rinn	10	508	Apr 30, 2013 by PP
	Cross-talk in Alanon... (Preview) Oh, At the moment I am trying to draw a line in our Alanon group. {I am a GR}. Between Alanon and AA. Tough, because the boundaries between Alanon and AA run very deep. Our higher power has a deep and abiding hand in all our affairs, and I find that to be a great strength. The 'no cross-talk rule' has come acr...	DavidG	7	3080	Apr 30, 2013 by Breakingfree
	How to respond (Preview) I haven't been on in a while and things have Noreen going pretty good. I do have a question/dilemma haven't seen covered. The wife has really cut down the drinking a lot. I have not commented on it at all and the less attention seemed to work. She has gone from a large bottle of wine most nights to a smal...	hdftby100	4	291	Apr 30, 2013 by PP
	Here comes the guilt (Preview) Well again tonight my AH sober told me he wants to no now if I will stay married to him when I'm better? Can't tell him that. He wants me to promise this. I can not tell the future and I don't want to give false hope. He told me tonight before he went to work that its going to be hard going to aa meetings now . Wh...	Ms co-dependent	5	557	Apr 30, 2013 by canadianguy
	Not making it easy for me to get better (Preview) How do I heal and move on when the AH 5 months sober will not let me get better want nothing to do with the kids. Does not want to know them he know there his kids but won't get to know them , wont i let me work on a program I just started. Still on step one. Set boundarys easy one . I asked of space and privacy to work...	Ms co-dependent	4	361	Apr 30, 2013 by pinkchip
	it does get better! (Preview) I am so grateful that things can get better if I just get out of the way! I don't have anything to complain about. I have so much more to offer than I ever have. I am blessed beyond belief. I own my home & have plenty of money in the bank. And, to top it off my sister is still here & we are having a lot of fun...	Hoot Nanny	1	270	Apr 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	Minding my own business (Preview) I haven't seen my ABF in three months and last heard from him when he called me from a hospital psych ward. He was in a psych ward because he threatened suicide to a police officer AGAIN. When he called me he told me he missed me, loved and asked if I had any money. LOL There's the real reason for the call. I'm l...	Fool4You	5	438	Apr 30, 2013 by Fool4You
	Adding more broken promises to the large pile. Coping with hope. (Preview) Hi! Totally new here but I'm wondering if anyone can help me. My dad is in his mid 70s and 18 months ago my mum died. She was the light of his life but had been ill for many years (survived 20 years past her life expectancy!) and Dad had been her carer for the last few years. Over the last year or so he's been d...	bewitchedand bloodyannoyed	2	294	Apr 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	Weekend update .. (Preview) And all I can say is it was a weekend and a half, .. I'm emotionally drained on the other hand I feel like I have taken a major step in healing myself. Confirmation was amazing .. my girl looked beautiful, my son looked sharp and yes of course there were hiccups I expected it so I tried to just keep my focus on...	Pushka	6	395	Apr 30, 2013 by Minaret
	Ugh!! Loneliness and Mad At HP (Preview) When I first moved out in August to get away from the craziness of my AH I went to my parents house. I was so homesick but I worked my way through it. I moved into my own apartment in January and was so excited to have my own little place in the world. Fast forward, 3-4 months later and I am so lonely. It is drivin...	wornoutmrsfixit	24	644	Apr 29, 2013 by katfshh
	Back to step one (Preview) Just realizing I'm back to step I again powerless over alcohol I keep forgetting that. My ah keeps flip flopping on our relationship doesn't know what he wants I'm tired of it I am still looking for the sober man he was before he relapsed after 20years sobriety we are married 29 years.Im always falling...	Pipper	4	238	Apr 29, 2013 by Jerry F
	made it through the weekend (Preview) Hi Everyone: Well, the AH again said he will go to AA, really work on his issues, and if he is willing to do this, can he continue to live in the house, even as a tenant?? I say..we had talked about a June 1 moveout anyway, I have no problem with you staying here until then, so by all means I hope AA is right for yo...	yanksfan51	5	344	Apr 29, 2013 by pinkchip
	Letting go of anger (Preview) Hard day today, a month since I walked out with my child and went to a shelter. Now we are back home and my ex has moved to an apt. But I was so angry today at him. Trying hard to keep it in. I am stuck with a huge workload and he came by for his golf clubs. He's got lots of free time because he's out of work. I am s...	forestfairy	9	555	Apr 29, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I screwed up -- what is this about? (Preview) just talking to my exSIL on FB...and letting her know, in a gentle way, that her brother (my exA) is in the wrong... of course her reaction is that "you are both bitter and angry..." Why does her saying that make me want to scream? He hasn't worked in 3 years, is angry and abusive, does NOTHING...	rehprof	18	518	Apr 29, 2013 by Pushka
	Just funny! (Preview) I'd Love to But....-I want to spend more time with my blender.-The man on television told me to say tuned.-It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.-I'm building a pig from a kit.-I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.-There's a disturbance in the Force.-I have to check the freshness da...	John	2	248	Apr 29, 2013 by milkwood
	katfshh message from the mystery board (Preview) katfshh Senior Member Status: OfflinePosts: 245Date: 2h, 46m ago I'm back.ReplyQuoteMore Edit PostDelete PostBan IPReport Spam Hi everyone, I have been such a bad member lately. But, I am back. I have had so many positive things happen in the last 10 months since my AF left! It really is almosst cre...	hotrod	7	447	Apr 29, 2013 by katfshh
	Thinking of Making Some Huge Changes (Preview) I have faced the fact that my marriage of 26 years is broken beyond repair because he doesn't want or doesn't have the willpower to stick to a treatment/abstinence program. I quit a horrible job last month and don't have any prospects of anything on the horizon. I went to the beach last week and there are...	wornoutmrsfixit	17	577	Apr 29, 2013 by Pushka
	signed and gone - from STBXAH to XAH (Preview) XAH came by the house yesterday morning to pick up the rest of his belongings, and my BFF took me to a notary yesterday afternoon to sign the divorce papers. Wow. I never would have thought that 10 years ago when we met that this is where I'd be. I was going to take the papers to the courthouse yesterday, bu...	blondie99	5	441	Apr 29, 2013 by Pushka
	Learning to focus on myself (Preview) I'm slowly learning to focus on myself, to make myself a better person..I'm learning to improve my self confidence. I'm spending time with friends.and I'm laughing again, really laughing and I haven't done that in a long time. I'm learning to surrender the person who my A used to be, and I'm taking car...	phoenixmagicgirl	3	263	Apr 29, 2013 by ilovedogs
	At What point (Preview) do we wake up and then decide to take back our self respect? I do pretty well most of the time but today has been frustrating and I feel like my energy is drained. Dealing with my AH in any way does not work. I can say hello and it is wrong. If I am kind if I am confrontive if I am compassionate or whatever it doe...	souljoy	3	328	Apr 29, 2013 by Jerry F
	Abuse (Preview) I want to start a a new law that allows people to get restraining orders based on emotional abuse. I don't understand why someone needs to be assaulted or threatened to be protected. I know that I have the right to leave, but my children have begged me not to leave our house and our pets. He is in our hous...	imom	5	532	Apr 29, 2013 by pinkchip
	New to Al-anon. Losing mind with alcoholic pot smoking husband...supposedly "sober". (Preview) Hi there, I'm new and feel so lost. My husband admitted to being an alcoholic about six months ago. He was actively involved in AA but then started drinking again. I made him leave the house. we have an 8 year did daughter I am trying to protect. He ended up in detox and was doing well for about six weeks. I r...	Cam0612	4	620	Apr 28, 2013 by Auntyaya
	Hate Mail (Preview) My mom asked me if I could receive personal mail at work. Translation: "I have some hate mail I want to send you that I don't want your AH to read." She's really good at that. Every 2 years or so she writes me a hateful letter, threatens to write me out of her will (I've told her I don't want her $...	NicoleDiver	8	427	Apr 28, 2013 by likemyheart
	New here but not to Al-anon. Need an ear (Preview) Hi, Where to start. My husband has been an alcoholic since 1994. Well, I'm sure he was before that but in the 4 years I knew him before that he wasn't. He didn't start drinking inappropriately until after our oldest child was born in Jan. of that year. I knew nothing about alcoholism or what it looke...	wildrosejmj	4	418	Apr 28, 2013 by wildrosejmj
	Principals... (Preview) This morning I got a phone call from what I'm pretty sure was a collections agency looking for my ex. After almost three years of being divorced, I'm still getting these phone calls. It really surprised me because I hadn't received any in probably over a year, year-and-a-half. Thus far I've just maint...	Aloha	5	220	Apr 28, 2013 by likemyheart
	Miracles Do Happen! (Preview) My AH passed away a few months ago and left me with nothing but his business debt. We lost our home and savings due to his poor business decisions that were made in the cloud of his alcoholism. I had taken out a small life insurance policy through my work, which covered the burial costs and paid a few bills,...	Green Eyes	20	511	Apr 28, 2013 by katfshh
	How do I deal with my anger and resentment? Anger Resentment (Preview) Hello - This is my first post in this group. My husband of 10 years is a RAH- he started trying a few years back, had some relapses, but is finally going to AA and appears to be getting something from it- I am relieved and I feel blessed that he is doing this- We have a 2 and 3 year old and they deserve a whole fami...	Alea	4	7881	Apr 28, 2013 by Jerry F
	an issue that came up, need your thoughts (Preview) Last night I was at a meeting and afterwards I was talking to my sponsor - who to be perfectly honest... I really didn't enjoy as a sponsor and we are done with all the steps- I don't really call her because she feels very cold to me and I feel like she has no heart connection and I am very heart centered...not...	hope4ever	7	472	Apr 28, 2013 by Jerry F
	Former Sponsor (Preview) made it into Hilo and we get together for a late lunch and memories and "get to know you" conversation. Her husband is a delight to talk with and she found my wife delightful also. It was very very nice because she is one of the first foundation stones in my recovery in the program. I am not a...	Jerry F	2	281	Apr 27, 2013 by PP
	update (Preview) Hi All: Welcoming ESH: I am all ears, here is the latest on my end: early this week AH declares 'Good News! Ready for AA' after a night on the town where he ends up sleeping in car; my reaction is anger, but I do my best to give polite but distanced support ('that sounds very positive for you, I hope you get som...	yanksfan51	6	353	Apr 27, 2013 by el-cee
	Conditional Love (Preview) The exA was supposed to pick up both kids today...when i arrived home from work, he was walking out the door with only the younger one...saying that the teenager was being difficult so he could just stay home. The exA was ticked off. when I walked in the house, I could see the hurt in the 16yo's eyes. Ever...	rehprof	5	229	Apr 27, 2013 by norasq
	exciting Post: it is working! (Preview) So, maybe I shouldn't be so excited or maybe I should? My sister is here & I am so happy! She is so laid back & so not CA! I am so glad that I can see how easy it is to talk to her & that I shouldn't be worried about what I say or think. She "is" my sister after all! What am I worried about; wel...	Hoot Nanny	4	249	Apr 27, 2013 by John
	I'm new and need support for sure!! (Preview) My husband of 13 years has just realized within the past year he is an alcoholic. I have a ton of questions and don't really have anyone to talk to about this. I've tried to go to a local meeting here but it never works out with my work schedule and our kids. We've been together for 22 years and have two won...	bellaswan	3	195	Apr 27, 2013 by DavidG
	Exciting weekend :) (Preview) Lots of good stuff happening over the past few weekends, .. got to go to a lovely event last weekend that was through the community and some very dear friends. VERY excited to share a lot of memories and be included into something that I wouldn't be doing had the past year not happened. This weekend is m...	Pushka	2	230	Apr 27, 2013 by hotrod
	Thank you for your prayers - a rough night (Preview) Well, today went as well as can be expected. STBXAH came by the house late this afternoon with the signed divorce papers and a little $ to start paying me back. It was incredibly hard to see him. He gave mea hug but I just couldn't go there. When he hugged me I just couldn't reciprocate. I heard and felt a so...	blondie99	5	394	Apr 26, 2013 by blondie99
	New problem and decisions to make (Preview) My thinking is a relationship with my 20 year partner ( never been married )shouldn't be brought up in this forum but now time has past and as I'm learning more and more about me I find I'm not happy here. When we first got together he was bankrupt, lost his home and wife and no job. Well Cathy came along, f...	Cathyinaz	17	525	Apr 26, 2013 by likemyheart
	Therapists (Preview) Just a quick note guys since 2 posts had me wanting to share the same info. If you are looking for a therapist for yourself it does help to ask if they have 12 step knowledge and alanon knowledge. All therapists basically will say they have "expertise" in addictions because that is one of th...	pinkchip	2	244	Apr 26, 2013 by bud
	Boyfriend in Rehab - have some questions (Preview) My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He has been for a long time. He's been to rehab before (before we met) and it hasn't helped. He decided the other day that he wanted to go again. Said that he is serious this time. I am really hoping that he means it. Have so many questions. What do I do when he comes home?...	rookie95	5	1491	Apr 26, 2013 by PP
	I am seeking some professional help (Preview) Hi everyone, This past week has been a rough week. My alcoholic has been going non-stop. He has even considered buying into the local bar he frequents, which is a topic of another thread. I was doing so well before that. Going to meetings, speaking, being serene. This news suddenly brought up a bunch of...	slogan_jim	6	242	Apr 26, 2013 by pinkchip
	It's not easy (Preview) Good Morning All I got my every two week text from my son asking about his job he was to start last week asking me if I heard anything. I said NOPE. He then came back with that was not nice so I texted back... I'm sorry...no I haven't heard anything. I told him he should call them again and he said he would...	Cathyinaz	5	314	Apr 26, 2013 by milkwood
	hard time taking care of me... ugh (Preview) Today I am frustrated. I am having a hard time figuring out what I need and how to get it, or state it. I am at a very confused grumpy place... Husband took off last night in middle of night, woke up at 4am he wasn't here. He went to ex wifes. (no not cheating... she works nights and we are friends she gave...	Rinn	2	295	Apr 26, 2013 by forestfairy
	Hi I am new..and don't know what todo. (Preview) I am 21 and my SO is 31 i have been with him almost 5 years. I didn't really realize his drinking problem until after I got pregnant with our first. I left him a month after I found out. He promised he would stop and a few weeks later he had to stop and get some when we had no money. At the time I didn't understand a...	bmoore07	5	478	Apr 26, 2013 by hotrod
	Pros and Cons (Preview) I'm realizing, now that my focus and attention (obsession) is slowly moving away from my AH and all his crazy behavior, I can spend my time focusing on me and all of MY issues. This sounds simple and obvious, but it was really a revelation for me today. I spent my whole lunch hour today thinking about ME, n...	ParisMemories	4	1157	Apr 26, 2013 by ParisMemories
	CONTROLL needs to stop (Preview) ok having a hard time dealling with my AH sober 5 moths. i have no privacy . he insecure . im very angry. last year he cheated but it wasnt him it was the bottle and beer. well after a year of having the affair with promises and gifts to go with it, and the add on the family plan cell phone because it was costi...	Ms co-dependent	3	390	Apr 26, 2013 by Jerry F
	AA friends or a date? (Preview) Hi all, I'm sure some of you have experience with this. I want to support my alcholic in being active in AA. I do this by supporting her going to five meetings a week and trying to be supportive of meetings with AA friends, her sponsor, and sponsees, even when there isn't a lot of of time for 'us'. Lately...	shyrose	5	373	Apr 25, 2013 by shyrose
	Has anyone dealt with alcoholism more than once? (Preview) This may seem like a dumb question to ask, but has anyone dealt with alcoholism with more than one person in their immediate family? I dealt with my brother who was an A and a drug addict for years. He's now been clean for 4 years! :) That was very hard to deal with..but now I have my mom who's an A and it's even...	phoenixmagicgirl	10	425	Apr 25, 2013 by diamond
	A "come to Jesus" meeting (Preview) Over the last several months, I've been getting the runaround from my STBXAH regarding the divorce papers. It finally came to a head yesterday in several phone calls. I finally had the "come to Jesus" talk with him because I was tired of his shenanigans. He said that he felt like he was being...	blondie99	8	299	Apr 25, 2013 by hotrod
	He chooses to stay in the pit, I walked away (Preview) I am embarrassed to tell you, that my guy is so sick, says he is at the bottom. I walked away. I will not allow myself to be dragged down from his situation. He can stay in his pit along with all his addicts and coda is that right? Children of an addict? His coda children and make his grandchildren like his ow...	Debilyn	17	642	Apr 25, 2013 by bud
	So....he's looking at buying into a bar... (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a gratful member of al-anon family groups. The alcoholic that qualifies me for al-anon is my father. I just spoke with him on the phone. Over the last little while he has been frequenting a local watering hole and is a regular. He has even become friends with the...	slogan_jim	8	422	Apr 25, 2013 by bud
	So tired of the same ole, same ole (Preview) Just needed to vent. I'm tired of hearing: I love you, I want to grow old with you. I'm done drinking. I'm changing. I want to be in God's will. I know I've done wrong and I have to make up for it and I want our marriage to make it. Only to realize that it's all leading me to believe he's changing when in reali...	ilovedogs	14	482	Apr 25, 2013 by Mattie
	Thank you HP! (Preview) HP is right on time with this one! My anxiety has been rising in reference to when my Husband was going to go back to work and continue Intensive Outpatient Treatment. I prayed and did my best to let go and let HP handle that situation and never brought it up to my Husband. Husband knows what he has to do,...	Sincerely	2	194	Apr 25, 2013 by el-cee
	I Can't, HP Can... I Need to Let Him... (Preview) It Truly Saddens me at times the Powerless I Feel over Life! Not Just Mine but those I Love... Thank God for My Program, and the TRUE People that Support me in my Journey! It Seems know matter how much I learn about the Disease, it still doesn't change the Sickness! There are Times I Feel Life comes at me wit...	Jozie	6	380	Apr 25, 2013 by ilovedogs
	An Introduction...and a mother of an alcoholic daughter. (Preview) I'm new to these boards and I wanted to introduce myself and explain how I got here. This is not my first time in Al Anon. I was married to an alcoholic for 20 years and that marriage ended (much to my relief) about 12 years ago. I struggled greatly with all the issues that alcoholism brings. My own and his....	jhhess	14	481	Apr 25, 2013 by jhhess
	Asked ex-AB for money back/ after effects (Preview) Hi all. Pretty much new to be posting here and haven't done so for few weeks now, but I keep coming back almost every evening to read your stories for support and encouragment. So much resonates in me, I just cannot stop :) (careful: this will be a very long rant) So, to the topic of this share. 5 days ago I f...	HappyToBe	5	387	Apr 25, 2013 by maryjane
	24 hours ago (Preview) Not even 24 hrs ago I posted about my progress. I really felt proud of myself yesterday. Tonight, I am here alone, no idea where AH is. He lied again, I figured out the deception and confronted him this morning, angry and scolding, how can you keep doing this, I screamed. I left for work and havent heard...	ParisMemories	10	424	Apr 25, 2013 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.