The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I got my every two week text from my son asking about his job he was to start last week asking me if I heard anything. I said NOPE. He then came back with that was not nice so I texted back... I'm sorry...no I haven't heard anything. I told him he should call them again and he said he would this morning. I'm sure they are fed up with him even before he starts because he calls when he can't even talk and thinks that it's them that are flaking out on the job. My son says he needs stability in his life now and that he has been a quote: Good Boy........sign he HAS been drinking.
My problem is I don't say anything about it but he keeps this lie up about himself and that he is doing everything right and it's others that are doing him wrong. It's so hard not to try and explain AGAIN....why his life is so screwed up and he doesn't even realize it.
Is there anything else I can do besides just telling him.......you work it out or you need to take care of it and then let go.
I just have this feeling of hopelessness sometimes when I'm in contact with him.
Just one of many daily thoughts my friends...
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I know exactly how you feel. I don't understand how my daughter does not get it either. I have to bite my tongue or remove myself from her prescense when I feel my old "know it all" ways ready to erupt. One day, they just might hear us. I just say....I know you can work this out....& You'll find a way, I'm sure........
Like you, it's the helplessness that is the hardest to bear.
I think our children do want recovery but don't want it bad enough to do the work(yet)...can't have one without the other...nothing earned, nothing gained, and all those other ole sayings.
I, too, know how you feel. I see my AD's phone number show up on my phone and I don't even want to answer. I'm thinking "now what." In fact, sometimes I don't answer.
but my father has been fired, dui, spent a night in jail, rehab, had sponsors drop him, had crappy relationship after crappy realtionship and now he's thinking of buying into the dive bar he frequents !
When AH is at a pity party and telling me what is wrong I say 'Oh, sounds tough. Anything you need to do about it?' I haven't found anything else to date that works, except sometimes humour and making him laugh about it. I was once told that I need to believe in my husband - which helped me to stop stepping in to fix things, instead I say something along the lines of 'you know best.' I'm sending you lots of positive vibes for a good day today (((((Cathy)))))))
