The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
ok having a hard time dealling with my AH sober 5 moths.
i have no privacy . he insecure . im very angry. last year he cheated but it wasnt him it was the bottle and beer. well after a year of having the affair with promises and gifts to go with it, and the add on the family plan cell phone because it was costing alot for there chats. todays problem is now he got sober ,with my help.convincing and giving another chance . since he been sober my AH is still working on his 4/5 step . we no where im going with this. well i just started al alon . not many meetings like aa that runs 24/7 . has been extreamly controlling. beyond the normal behavior. he likes to do my inventory find my problems tell me how to work my program i just started. yes i made a mistake in poor judgement i was texting to other men and woman. and take a pic here and there. i lost 140 pounds due to his affair and stress which now i developed a eating disorder. . im not a saint yes i flirted but i never cheated like he did. he found every social sight i was on and played with me he says he didnt .but i no he did . all my nice friends stop talking to me because the fear of him. and he pull cell records and called ppl up and hung up on them. next my emails i have 2 one for dr appt and job . the other one is for coupon and sales. well he invaded that. now he like to watch me and ask questions and goes threw my cloths and car. i wont get into the bad details of how he belittles me and maniplates me. he uses my kids to ask me questions he looks in trash for somthin that shows im cheating. last night like any other night he came home and seen me getting my books out of the car. then he says new sweater ?
For a minute there, I thought I was reading one of my own posts from the past. Very similar details in our lives. That was the craziest time ever dealing with my AH when he was suspicious, intimidated and so on. Going through my car, accusing me of nonsense and the list goes on. I held on with the help of HP. Thankfully he admitted himself into the hospital. He "LOST" it!
That was many years ago. We are currently living together. We were separated 18 longs months. My boundary was I will not see you as long as you continue to make the choices you are making.
Today he is 60 days clean after completing 45 days of inpatient treatment and still in intensive outpatient treatment.
I don't have the magic words or any answers for you. What I do know is that I have to take care of ME first. First Love Yourself! Dig deep within yourself and pull out some courage and go to an Alanon Meeting. You will find love there. You will find friends there. You will find out you are not alone.
(((Ms co-dee))) From hindsight I would go with what both Cathy and Sincerely have offered...because that is what worked for me backk when. Self care...Self love. If you don't take care of yourself ... who will? Be responsible to your self and you can be responsible for yourself at the same time. I'm with you that your condition just sucks...for now. Get into the face to face program of Al-Anon and work it with the guidance of your sponsor (your husband isn't your sponsor) and the fellowship and your HP and the control will come to an end. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
ok having a hard time dealling with my AH sober 5 moths.