The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
AH stayed in detox 2 days, and they let him go saying he wasn't going through withdrawals. They didn't have a bed open at rehab, so he had to come home. They were going to call him when a spot opened, but he has since opted out of that option. He's drinking again, which I knew he would if he didn't go straight from detox to rehab. I've come to terms with the fact that he's going to drink if he wants and there is nothing I can do about it. I have just been so depressed lately. All I want to do is be alone, but then when I'm alone I get too lonely. There are times when I feel like I am literally about to explode. I just have a hopeless, angry feeling that just keeps rising up. I have had a few panic attacks, and it's been years since I've had any of those. I told my mother that it felt like I should also be the one going into a rehabilitation facility. All I keep asking myself is, "Am I going crazy?"... Because that's exactly what it feels like. And I am afraid to talk to anyone about it, except my mother. I guess I don't want anyone else to think that I'm going insane. I'm going Thursday to another counseling session, and I'm going to let her know all of this. For now I'm just trying to distance myself from as much drama as I possibly can. Thanks for letting me vent!
-- Edited by lnc12 on Tuesday 30th of April 2013 09:12:42 AM
I don't know your mother's background, but was always guided by my sponsor to seek out others who were deep in their program & knowledge of recovery.... sometimes can be well-meaning but dangerous to go to family members, friends, etc., who know little about addictions...
Al-Anon is the place for you - preferably f2f meetings, or online meetings, and/or sharing on our site here.
You are NOT alone, and living around active alcoholism IS too much for most of us to try & tackle on our own....
Take care
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Face to face meetings for me have made all of the difference to realize and hear that I am not alone in some of the things that I am feeling and thinking.
Keep coming back and taking care of you, Getting them Sober is a GREAT book to read.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Most of us would probably say we thought we were going crazy living with an alcoholic/addict, for me, I was going crazy because I knew in my gut what the truth was, but my head was telling me something way different because I was trying to live in crazyland to survive with my husband...that is crazy to me! I created my own schizophrenia..and al anon was my "rehab facility". Run don't walk to your nearest "rehab facility" and talk to us. hugs
PP's experience is right on for me too. Just as alcoholics avoid AA, I put off Al-Anon for some time. Then finally I started my own recovery. It has been life-changing. And maybe the best thing is that I know what to do when that feeling starts to come on. These days it never gets farther than an inch in the door before I obliterate it. The tools for serenity are priceless. Come on in, there's a seat for you in recovery!
After living in someone else's Crazytown, I started perceiving things through a sick person's eyes - including how I perceived myself. It took a while for the principles of Alanon to sink in where I could understand and start to apply them- so worth it! Distance from drama is a good start. Glad you're here- keep coming back.
