Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mastiff · mastiff

Hi all, I was thinking about all the tools that alanon has to offer for a better way to live, and all the old tools I use to use in life mearly to survive in an alcoholic home. Pre alanon, i developed a lot of "survival skills" or tools, things i used to get by, get what i thought i needed ect. I learn...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

oh man, i screwed up with this job we are trying to get here at work.........the guy called LAST WEEK at least, ago, and asked me re: our employees or subs doing the actual painting.......i said they worked only for us, been with us for YEARS, but they were paid as sub...

meowpur · meowpur

I'm new here. I sure am having a lousy time. I can't seem to get my stuff together. I am always upset. I have Fibromyalgia and spinal disc problems so I am in a lot of pain. I am trying to become more assertive and not take any abuse from people in my life. I have lost s...

bigthoughts · bigthoughts

I am the child of an alcoholic, I am dating an alcoholic. I didn't know at first, it took awhile for me to realize it and now I just feel so ANGRY!! I have fallen in love with this man---a man with so many good qualities--and I am beginning to feel that I not only shouldn't be with him, I don't want to. Tonight w...

Rebecca · Rebecca

what a differance a day makes... i was trying to get on with my life.... ........when i checked my voicemail on my phone.. there was one from my ex the "A" himself... telling me he had left the country... and that he was sorry for all the pain and sufferig he caused me... all done under the influence...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Today I am grateful for my brother. When he was so ugly in two casts on his feet and a scab from the forceps at birth the family story says I took one look at him started crying and told my Mom "we should have gotten a puppy". At the time and many times after she agreed ... poor kid, two already nutty fema...

Gailey · Gailey

I am having a hard day today. I feel like my HP is trying to show me something but I don't seem to be seeing it or hearing it. Maybe it is just this...Acceptance. I was really touched by Jeff's post on "Loss of potential". That is just what I am having a hard time with today. Why does my son's life have to be...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

We started this thing where he would get off the system he was on, trying to look for other women and give me a chance to 'prove' that I was worthy of HIM. Well I thought that it would do me no harm to start being more responsive and caring toward him, since I had pulled back consid...

katrina2000 · katrina2000

So far this morning is bringing me nothing but panick. I'm not sure even how to breath. I have a racing heart and nothing I seem to be doing is helping. I thought if I could get it out of my head maybe I could start moving. Today is my 33 birthday. I keep thinking...

Goldie · Goldie

Hi I'm new to this board. I'm hoping this is the right place to post, learn, and grow. i am just working step 1, and I'm trying to understand powerlessness. I am powerless, I understand that, but sometimes I feel helpless. My A bent to kiss me yesterday, and the stale alcohol s...

findingmyway · findingmyway

Well... here we go again. Because we're divorcing, my lawyer advised me to file my taxes separately. When my A found out, he hit the roof. He was angry I didn't ask his permission before I did this. The scary part is that he called our accountant. He threatened him but what really worried the acc...

sparkette · sparkette

thank goodness the board is up and running! This was from earlier this morning: Ok I admit it is late which means I am more emotional than usual....but I am gonna write anyways, cause I can :o) also because I just feel compelled to do so. Grateful isn't a word I use regularly. When I first came i...

kspear · kspear

Good morning, all. I just wanted to first of all thank the good folks who were in the chatroom this morning. I knew I belonged in Alanon for a while, but wonder of wonders, I believed I belonged this morning for the first time. I never realized how impacted I was by the alcoholic behavio...

Barbara · Barbara

What are you doing to keep fit physically? Most mornings I take a 30min walk outside before getting ready for work. We live on a .2mile circle which has gotten the name "gerbil track" due to the times I walk it over and over and over. I also stop at Curves 3-4 nights after work on my way home. Some nights my so...

Jeff Reynolds · Jeff Reynolds

I'm grateful for all the wisdom in the replies to my first post last week. Thank-you. My 23 year old daughter found another half-way house in Florida and begins her second week there. She found work at a restaurant. The mental image of her riding a wobbly bicycle to and from work each day, compare...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((((everyone))))))) On Friday I woke up thinking about the woman I met at my first F2F meeting (my Gypsy ) and how she had touched me. How what she said has stuck with me and kept me coming back to al-anon. Then the yesterday I was just having a hard day, working on being honest with mysel...

Barbara · Barbara

Since middle of March the family has been court ordered to have no contact with my younger brother. He did call my mother's house six times Monday night. My mother hopes he wasnt drinking as he has his urine test today (Wed). (How long does alcohol stay in your system?) Once he put the phone up to his radio...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

I just had a major shock to my system tonight. Just needed to write it out, I'm not sure why HP chose this to happen to me or the other person but he/she did. I was on my way to my sis in laws to drop off a chocolate cake. Coming to the turning lane, my light was green. Half way to the li...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, The kids and I had a nice quiet Easter. I felt bad for my little guys. They asked me if they could tell Daddy about their ballgames on Saturday. I really didn't want him there, but they did, so I said ok. Well it didn't matter, he didn't show, he called about 12 noon on my cell and said he overslept. He...

aunitedway · aunitedway

"Unity presents not only the necessary climate for the growth of Al-Anon as a whole but also the atmosphere in which each member within the group may acquire peace of mind. " The Twelve Steps and Traditions (((((( BIGHUG))) to all of you for being her...

confused · confused

Well, the weekend was wonderful. And I did not feel like we "were on our best behavior", just being ourselves and letting it all unfold. My husband and I had not spent any length of time together for four monthsand we went to his sister's for Easter and had a great time. The boys absol...

search41 · search41

I tried to post this twice last night, and both times, when i hit "submit", it never submitted, for some reason. so i'm going to try again! i did end up going to the room, tho, and shared there. thanks to all who were so supportive to me last night! anyway, i was married for 16 yrs befo...

tea2 · tea2

Hello ((((all)))) I thought I would share that today happens to be one of my favorites in our Courage to Change daily reader. April 18 page 109. Because we aren’t allowed to post from our CAL literature I would like to urge anyone who hasn’t read it yet to give it a look

wishes, t

twinmom2 · twinmom2

This weekend was pretty good. The kids and I got out on Saturday morning. My A was supposed to get up with us and go downtown to the market but he stayed out too late the night before, so we got packed up and went anyway. Took the kids for an Easter egg hunt at the church, they had a blast.&...

gknee · gknee

seems like the theme today. Last nite H and I were driving home from my folks house. He had been sort of nasty toward me all day. Nothiing specific, just getting those barbs of disapproval. So, on the ride home he starts into this rant about what time our 13y/o should go to bed and get up. He just want...

bobump · bobump

Well what a day it was. My oldest took on some older sis roles and assisted me w/ some Easter shopping and preparing the baskets and hiding eggs. I was afraid that it was casting her into an adult role which she had too much of in her life, but her outlook was she wanted to see the looks on her siblings fac...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((everyone)))) Have you ever know what the problem is within yourself and just can't let it go? I've been in al-alnon long enough to know that the feelings I'm having right now (that are making me physically sick) are coming from me and I'm not going to have any serenity until I can get thru th...

rtexas · rtexas

Hello ((((Everyone)))) I have been reading some online info on Codependence. I am not sure why I have never looked at it before... (maybe the name threw me) I need to do some more looking, but in the "Are you a ..." section I scored about 8 out of 12. LOL Bare with me... this is a lightbu...

Jeff Reynolds · Jeff Reynolds

My 23 year old daughter just completed 31 days at an inpatient facility. Then instead of jumping right back in at work, she agreed to go to a Half-Way house in FL. She was making great progress until yesterday. The call came from the house manager. Amanda and her roomate were caught drinking on th...

bob6502 · bob6502

What is your serenity worth??? If someone tells you to rob a bank and you won't be punished even if someone gets hurt would you do it??? Is your serenity worth the guilt you might feel afterwards??? If someone hands you a scalding hot potato and says hold this and I will give you a million dol...

katrina2000 · katrina2000

Well I've never posted anything before and I thought I would try to see if getting this junk out of my head will actually help. I'm an adult child of an alcoholic who's been married to an alcoholic and who's also very co dependent. I'm trying to hard to over come all that I'm feeling.....

Cilla · Cilla

I'm sitting here feeling pretty grateful today. I have no voice, and can barely be heard by a whisper. This coming after having surgery two weeks ago on an abscess that grew to the size of what my daughter said was a bowling ball. Saw the surgeon post-op today and although he says it'...

sunny123 · sunny123

I am so glad to have been directed towards this site and have already learned so many things about my past and current behavior. I am just coming to terms with the fact that my husband in an alcoholic. I am going through the whole grieving thing now in the middle of final exams. I clearly missed many signs a...

debilyn · debilyn

I understand there are some underlying issues going on. As usual I am not with the majority. I do not mind being in the unpopular vote. To be honest, it is my nature to be. I am not perfect, but someone else was, a very unpopular person, and he was nailed to a stake and died. To be in the minority of...

Maria123 · Maria123

great site on detachment if you are interested . . . . http://www.coping.org/control/detach.htm#develop yours in recovery, Maria

AlaMom · AlaMom

you really your really working your program? You get the best of all possible worlds. I had a pretty scary situation for me last night. My middle daughter let my dog out (not on her leash) then forgot about her. I was busy making dinner and did not realize the dog was out. It w...

agatha · agatha

Well, here we go again. It's been about six months since I desided not to post here again. Not because of anyone here but out of embarrassment and humiliation. I swore I would never put my thoughts and feelings in print again. For those of you who know, I apologize again and for those of you who don't, ma...

nmike · nmike

When I logged in it said posts: 499. My thought was that that is alot and I wonder if I have learned anything, changed, found serenity, or helped anyone else. So I know that I am immature. That I am alone and keep asking why? I spent some time with my A today and our interaction was still sick. Maybe more on my...

abbyal · abbyal

And we come to this program to heal, this is a disease of perception. How I feel about a situation does not have to agree with how anyone else feels. We have been given the courage to finally speak up and take a chance and voice an opinion , that is a big deal . Perception is tricky ki...

hudsond · hudsond

This weekend was so nice! I had the day off Friday b/c it was Good Friday. My a husband and I and step-daughter spent Friday and Saturday fishing on the river. It went well, only got yelled at a few times, but I would stare at him intently and then not speak to him for awhile and he would s...

kspear · kspear

Hello all... I've apparently gotten up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or something. I'm just kind of aching over my son right now. I just feel like it's such a hopeless situation today, and that I just have to "endure" another day. I'm kind of tired of enduring. ...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((((((Family)))))))))))), Just wanted to say thank you to all of you that were in the chat room last night. I came in needing support, and you all surrounded me with your love, support and understanding. That's what the chat room is for. Had to have hubby taken away in an ambulance bec...

matisa · matisa

Hello to all,,, Ok I have a request this is gonna sound strange to most of you, but I suspect there is someone who goes to the chat rooms who thinks they know who I am in Real life,,, I am asking now , Please Identify yourself to me in real life,,, There are no alanon meetings in this little town a...

gardengal · gardengal

I keep coming back to Alanon for many reasons, and sometimes I question why? Afterall the A in my life for many years is gone, and I dont have to directly deal with any A's in my immediate life. I have been coming to alanon now for over 6 years, and I remember how I once was a "newbie" and how desparate I truly w...

debilyn · debilyn

'Just hung out here and on my alanon message board. Seems one alanon sister had been a B and hurt this real nice gal I like, who is new, and basically told the nice gal to leave, with out meaning to!" I reread this and was horrified. crimany. I hope the meaning is clear,someone emailed me on my private ema...

just me · just me

OK...I need to vent. I have family visiting me. I am not used to active A's anymore. Both my sister and her husband are raging A's. 12+ beers a night. Screaming drunken fights and even illegal drug use. They think because they drink Michelob they are not A's.&n...

mebjk · mebjk

While I do think it is a good thing that we have an online resource to aid our recovery, my experience has been that it is often easier to be mean and to dodge reality online. Chat rooms tend to be mean-spirited places. And I don't need that in my life. I prefer to choose positive experiences, things that br...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Good Morning Everyone, Sitting here contemplating why I am happy LOL Yesterday morning my husband came home at the right time from work (he works nights) and I just got the feeling that he didn't go to work the night before. I asked, he said he did but my gut does not feel right about his answer for var...

debilyn · debilyn

You know ya wake up thinking things will be ok, things will be ok. I went out on the deck to spary off the pig pooty. Got it all nice and clean thinking how it is one of my favorite anti stressors just to spray spray spray.Chief, who has broken down the fence to the back yard again, is behind me ea...

bobump · bobump

In a post below someone asked what our holiday plans were. I spewed a stream of concience about everything I had to do and not really knowing what my holiday entailed yet but it I'd do my best and it would be what it would be and a chuckle. Well....I'm umpiring a game and I'm offered for tickets to a...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hey guys i was up the country on a break with a friend for the last 2 days...eating out, having fun, going to a pop concert etc... i was actually having a good time..managed to smile and laugh for the 2 days... came home this evening and was hit with some news that knocked me for 6... ...my ex boyf. "A" hi...

d53sjurne · d53sjurne

May the PEACE AND SERENITY OF HP BE WITH YOU ALL

BLESSINGS -- Edited by d53sjurne at 20:04, 2006-04-15 -- Edited by d53sjurne at 20:26, 2006-04-15 -- Edited by d53sjurne at 21:33, 2006-04-15 -- Edited by d53sjurne at 21:36, 2006-04-15

Jill · Jill

I am so grateful for AlAnon and MIP. I see that some people expect from us as individuals to "fix" their lives. This is typically newcomers. When I was the newcomer, I was too bewildered to expect someone to fix my life. Nonetheless, for some newcomers, I feel put on the spot, inadequate, a...

kspear · kspear

Good morning, all. I was up to take my son (my current A) to work at 3 this morning as usual, and I was thinking. (I NEVER guarantee the coherency of my pre-5:00 AM thinking, so bear with me, please) Before I found recovery, I was a victim. If so and so hadn't acted in such a way, certai...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

I feel like I am just this horrible person, mother, friend, sister. Hardly worthy to walk the earth in some people's eyes. One of the people I hold closest to my heart has just completely broke me down. ANY OTHER person and I could just let it roll off. Lately, she has been real...

Knees · Knees

I've been in program for many years and my family of origin still disappoints me. They haven't changed, so it's me that has the problem. My hurt is an old one. It's a small thing - call, email or send a card to acknowledge my natel birthday. I've asked, explained, and me...

d53sjurne · d53sjurne

Hmmm !!!!! Been on this site only a couple weeks. Am I still concidered a newbie ? My 1st visit to 12 step program was 40 yrs ago. Been back and forth , in and out the rest of my 52 yrs. Been to all kinds of 12stepin' programs, ACA, ACOA, ALA, EA, SAA, IA, and some I just don't remember. I nev...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

Is it at all possible for a non drinker & a alcoholic to continue a relationship? I started drinking at 16. I drank booze for 28 years. we would chug beer, I drank wine, & liquor. We were underage but older people would buy it for us every wekend. A gallon between 4 or 10 peop...

gardengal · gardengal

Alanon's purpose is to help families and friends of alcoholics. We come together to find help and support in dealing with the effects of alcoholism. In time we discover that the principles of our program can be practiced in "all our affairs". But there are times when, in order to work through especial...

d53sjurne · d53sjurne

Hi All,

My gut sez to refresh the subject. My head ain't to sure how to go abou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	whatcha got in your toolbelt? (Preview) Hi all, I was thinking about all the tools that alanon has to offer for a better way to live, and all the old tools I use to use in life mearly to survive in an alcoholic home. Pre alanon, i developed a lot of "survival skills" or tools, things i used to get by, get what i thought i needed ect. I learn...	mastiff	8	667	Apr 20, 2006 by Barbara
	oops i hope i didn't mess up (Preview) oh man, i screwed up with this job we are trying to get here at work.........the guy called LAST WEEK at least, ago, and asked me re: our employees or subs doing the actual painting.......i said they worked only for us, been with us for YEARS, but they were paid as sub...	rosie light shines	5	381	Apr 20, 2006 by megan
	Hi Kids (Preview) I'm new here. I sure am having a lousy time. I can't seem to get my stuff together. I am always upset. I have Fibromyalgia and spinal disc problems so I am in a lot of pain. I am trying to become more assertive and not take any abuse from people in my life. I have lost s...	meowpur	4	371	Apr 20, 2006 by leo
	So Angry (Preview) I am the child of an alcoholic, I am dating an alcoholic. I didn't know at first, it took awhile for me to realize it and now I just feel so ANGRY!! I have fallen in love with this man---a man with so many good qualities--and I am beginning to feel that I not only shouldn't be with him, I don't want to. Tonight w...	bigthoughts	5	379	Apr 19, 2006 by just me
	LIFE CHANGES.... (Preview) what a differance a day makes... i was trying to get on with my life.... ........when i checked my voicemail on my phone.. there was one from my ex the "A" himself... telling me he had left the country... and that he was sorry for all the pain and sufferig he caused me... all done under the influence...	Rebecca	3	398	Apr 19, 2006 by just me
	Today's love and gratitude thought (Preview) Today I am grateful for my brother. When he was so ugly in two casts on his feet and a scab from the forceps at birth the family story says I took one look at him started crying and told my Mom "we should have gotten a puppy". At the time and many times after she agreed ... poor kid, two already nutty fema...	Jennifer	3	433	Apr 19, 2006 by Maria123
	Acceptance (Preview) I am having a hard day today. I feel like my HP is trying to show me something but I don't seem to be seeing it or hearing it. Maybe it is just this...Acceptance. I was really touched by Jeff's post on "Loss of potential". That is just what I am having a hard time with today. Why does my son's life have to be...	Gailey	3	417	Apr 19, 2006 by mebjk
	Really Suffering Today ... (Preview) We started this thing where he would get off the system he was on, trying to look for other women and give me a chance to 'prove' that I was worthy of HIM. Well I thought that it would do me no harm to start being more responsive and caring toward him, since I had pulled back consid...	HadEnuff	8	529	Apr 19, 2006 by mebjk
	trying to breath (Preview) So far this morning is bringing me nothing but panick. I'm not sure even how to breath. I have a racing heart and nothing I seem to be doing is helping. I thought if I could get it out of my head maybe I could start moving. Today is my 33 birthday. I keep thinking...	katrina2000	8	486	Apr 19, 2006 by Diva
	Helpless VS Powerless (Preview) Hi I'm new to this board. I'm hoping this is the right place to post, learn, and grow. i am just working step 1, and I'm trying to understand powerlessness. I am powerless, I understand that, but sometimes I feel helpless. My A bent to kiss me yesterday, and the stale alcohol s...	Goldie	6	387	Apr 19, 2006 by aunitedway
	Maybe it's time to be worried (Preview) Well... here we go again. Because we're divorcing, my lawyer advised me to file my taxes separately. When my A found out, he hit the roof. He was angry I didn't ask his permission before I did this. The scary part is that he called our accountant. He threatened him but what really worried the acc...	findingmyway	6	462	Apr 19, 2006 by aunitedway
	Gratitude (Preview) thank goodness the board is up and running! This was from earlier this morning: Ok I admit it is late which means I am more emotional than usual....but I am gonna write anyways, cause I can :o) also because I just feel compelled to do so. Grateful isn't a word I use regularly. When I first came i...	sparkette	8	507	Apr 19, 2006 by sparkette
	Amazing (Preview) Good morning, all. I just wanted to first of all thank the good folks who were in the chatroom this morning. I knew I belonged in Alanon for a while, but wonder of wonders, I believed I belonged this morning for the first time. I never realized how impacted I was by the alcoholic behavio...	kspear	2	379	Apr 19, 2006 by hudsond
	so how are YOU keeping fit physically? (Preview) What are you doing to keep fit physically? Most mornings I take a 30min walk outside before getting ready for work. We live on a .2mile circle which has gotten the name "gerbil track" due to the times I walk it over and over and over. I also stop at Curves 3-4 nights after work on my way home. Some nights my so...	Barbara	7	484	Apr 19, 2006 by irena
	The Loss of Potential Is Still So Sad (Preview) I'm grateful for all the wisdom in the replies to my first post last week. Thank-you. My 23 year old daughter found another half-way house in Florida and begins her second week there. She found work at a restaurant. The mental image of her riding a wobbly bicycle to and from work each day, compare...	Jeff Reynolds	11	515	Apr 19, 2006 by Jeff Reynolds
	To those who responded to my last 2 posts, please read :-) (Preview) ((((((everyone))))))) On Friday I woke up thinking about the woman I met at my first F2F meeting (my Gypsy ) and how she had touched me. How what she said has stuck with me and kept me coming back to al-anon. Then the yesterday I was just having a hard day, working on being honest with mysel...	Lunamoth	7	405	Apr 19, 2006 by hudsond
	brother called my mother 6xs Mon night (Preview) Since middle of March the family has been court ordered to have no contact with my younger brother. He did call my mother's house six times Monday night. My mother hopes he wasnt drinking as he has his urine test today (Wed). (How long does alcohol stay in your system?) Once he put the phone up to his radio...	Barbara	2	340	Apr 19, 2006 by hudsond
	HP worked a miracle tonight... (Preview) I just had a major shock to my system tonight. Just needed to write it out, I'm not sure why HP chose this to happen to me or the other person but he/she did. I was on my way to my sis in laws to drop off a chocolate cake. Coming to the turning lane, my light was green. Half way to the li...	twinmom2	5	347	Apr 19, 2006 by d53sjurne
	He chose not to come (Preview) Hi, The kids and I had a nice quiet Easter. I felt bad for my little guys. They asked me if they could tell Daddy about their ballgames on Saturday. I really didn't want him there, but they did, so I said ok. Well it didn't matter, he didn't show, he called about 12 noon on my cell and said he overslept. He...	Jeannie	7	510	Apr 19, 2006 by smpoli
	Grateful for the Unity of Alanon (Preview) "Unity presents not only the necessary climate for the growth of Al-Anon as a whole but also the atmosphere in which each member within the group may acquire peace of mind. " The Twelve Steps and Traditions (((((( BIGHUG))) to all of you for being her...	aunitedway	5	723	Apr 19, 2006 by d53sjurne
	it works it really does!!! (Preview) Well, the weekend was wonderful. And I did not feel like we "were on our best behavior", just being ourselves and letting it all unfold. My husband and I had not spent any length of time together for four monthsand we went to his sister's for Easter and had a great time. The boys absol...	confused	5	2142	Apr 19, 2006 by smpoli
	Need to turn it over big time (Preview) I tried to post this twice last night, and both times, when i hit "submit", it never submitted, for some reason. so i'm going to try again! i did end up going to the room, tho, and shared there. thanks to all who were so supportive to me last night! anyway, i was married for 16 yrs befo...	search41	6	364	Apr 18, 2006 by search41
	todays reading (Preview) Hello ((((all)))) I thought I would share that today happens to be one of my favorites in our Courage to Change daily reader. April 18 page 109. Because we aren’t allowed to post from our CAL literature I would like to urge anyone who hasn’t read it yet to give it a look wishes, t	tea2	4	420	Apr 18, 2006 by d53sjurne
	A moral to this story.... (Preview) This weekend was pretty good. The kids and I got out on Saturday morning. My A was supposed to get up with us and go downtown to the market but he stayed out too late the night before, so we got packed up and went anyway. Took the kids for an Easter egg hunt at the church, they had a blast.&...	twinmom2	4	475	Apr 18, 2006 by jrtjosey
	trying to regain serenity (Preview) seems like the theme today. Last nite H and I were driving home from my folks house. He had been sort of nasty toward me all day. Nothiing specific, just getting those barbs of disapproval. So, on the ride home he starts into this rant about what time our 13y/o should go to bed and get up. He just want...	gknee	5	465	Apr 18, 2006 by Jeannie
	Easter has passed yet the feeling remains (Preview) Well what a day it was. My oldest took on some older sis roles and assisted me w/ some Easter shopping and preparing the baskets and hiding eggs. I was afraid that it was casting her into an adult role which she had too much of in her life, but her outlook was she wanted to see the looks on her siblings fac...	bobump	12	574	Apr 18, 2006 by jrtjosey
	Could use a little help ... (Preview) ((((everyone)))) Have you ever know what the problem is within yourself and just can't let it go? I've been in al-alnon long enough to know that the feelings I'm having right now (that are making me physically sick) are coming from me and I'm not going to have any serenity until I can get thru th...	Lunamoth	10	527	Apr 18, 2006 by QOD
	Codependent? (Preview) Hello ((((Everyone)))) I have been reading some online info on Codependence. I am not sure why I have never looked at it before... (maybe the name threw me) I need to do some more looking, but in the "Are you a ..." section I scored about 8 out of 12. LOL Bare with me... this is a lightbu...	rtexas	7	612	Apr 18, 2006 by rtexas
	Living It Out (Preview) My 23 year old daughter just completed 31 days at an inpatient facility. Then instead of jumping right back in at work, she agreed to go to a Half-Way house in FL. She was making great progress until yesterday. The call came from the house manager. Amanda and her roomate were caught drinking on th...	Jeff Reynolds	11	502	Apr 18, 2006 by Jeff Reynolds
	What is your serenity worth??? (Preview) What is your serenity worth??? If someone tells you to rob a bank and you won't be punished even if someone gets hurt would you do it??? Is your serenity worth the guilt you might feel afterwards??? If someone hands you a scalding hot potato and says hold this and I will give you a million dol...	bob6502	11	554	Apr 17, 2006 by mastiff
	the outside matches my insides (Preview) Well I've never posted anything before and I thought I would try to see if getting this junk out of my head will actually help. I'm an adult child of an alcoholic who's been married to an alcoholic and who's also very co dependent. I'm trying to hard to over come all that I'm feeling.....	katrina2000	6	538	Apr 17, 2006 by Jill
	Day By Day (Preview) I'm sitting here feeling pretty grateful today. I have no voice, and can barely be heard by a whisper. This coming after having surgery two weeks ago on an abscess that grew to the size of what my daughter said was a bowling ball. Saw the surgeon post-op today and although he says it'...	Cilla	0	374	Apr 17, 2006 by Cilla
	new to all this (Preview) I am so glad to have been directed towards this site and have already learned so many things about my past and current behavior. I am just coming to terms with the fact that my husband in an alcoholic. I am going through the whole grieving thing now in the middle of final exams. I clearly missed many signs a...	sunny123	8	532	Apr 17, 2006 by aunitedway
	Letting out feelings, how many times is enough? (Preview) I understand there are some underlying issues going on. As usual I am not with the majority. I do not mind being in the unpopular vote. To be honest, it is my nature to be. I am not perfect, but someone else was, a very unpopular person, and he was nailed to a stake and died. To be in the minority of...	debilyn	2	433	Apr 17, 2006 by matisa
	detachment (Preview) great site on detachment if you are interested . . . . http://www.coping.org/control/detach.htm#develop yours in recovery, Maria	Maria123	6	450	Apr 17, 2006 by peewee
	What happens when... (Preview) you really your really working your program? You get the best of all possible worlds. I had a pretty scary situation for me last night. My middle daughter let my dog out (not on her leash) then forgot about her. I was busy making dinner and did not realize the dog was out. It w...	AlaMom	8	434	Apr 17, 2006 by Juster
	same as it ever was (Preview) Well, here we go again. It's been about six months since I desided not to post here again. Not because of anyone here but out of embarrassment and humiliation. I swore I would never put my thoughts and feelings in print again. For those of you who know, I apologize again and for those of you who don't, ma...	agatha	8	515	Apr 17, 2006 by sparkette
	500th Post (Preview) When I logged in it said posts: 499. My thought was that that is alot and I wonder if I have learned anything, changed, found serenity, or helped anyone else. So I know that I am immature. That I am alone and keep asking why? I spent some time with my A today and our interaction was still sick. Maybe more on my...	nmike	2	435	Apr 17, 2006 by sparkette
	We are hearts that hurt!! (Preview) And we come to this program to heal, this is a disease of perception. How I feel about a situation does not have to agree with how anyone else feels. We have been given the courage to finally speak up and take a chance and voice an opinion , that is a big deal . Perception is tricky ki...	abbyal	8	473	Apr 17, 2006 by Maria123
	good weekend (Preview) This weekend was so nice! I had the day off Friday b/c it was Good Friday. My a husband and I and step-daughter spent Friday and Saturday fishing on the river. It went well, only got yelled at a few times, but I would stare at him intently and then not speak to him for awhile and he would s...	hudsond	3	374	Apr 17, 2006 by twinmom2
	Rough morning for me (Preview) Hello all... I've apparently gotten up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or something. I'm just kind of aching over my son right now. I just feel like it's such a hopeless situation today, and that I just have to "endure" another day. I'm kind of tired of enduring. ...	kspear	3	574	Apr 17, 2006 by Diva
	Thank you (Preview) (((((((((((((Family)))))))))))), Just wanted to say thank you to all of you that were in the chat room last night. I came in needing support, and you all surrounded me with your love, support and understanding. That's what the chat room is for. Had to have hubby taken away in an ambulance bec...	Karilynn	12	476	Apr 17, 2006 by lebe27
	Identify Please (Preview) Hello to all,,, Ok I have a request this is gonna sound strange to most of you, but I suspect there is someone who goes to the chat rooms who thinks they know who I am in Real life,,, I am asking now , Please Identify yourself to me in real life,,, There are no alanon meetings in this little town a...	matisa	3	459	Apr 17, 2006 by matisa
	I KEEP COMING BACK.......... (Preview) I keep coming back to Alanon for many reasons, and sometimes I question why? Afterall the A in my life for many years is gone, and I dont have to directly deal with any A's in my immediate life. I have been coming to alanon now for over 6 years, and I remember how I once was a "newbie" and how desparate I truly w...	gardengal	3	405	Apr 17, 2006 by nmike
	I need to clarify!! (Preview) 'Just hung out here and on my alanon message board. Seems one alanon sister had been a B and hurt this real nice gal I like, who is new, and basically told the nice gal to leave, with out meaning to!" I reread this and was horrified. crimany. I hope the meaning is clear,someone emailed me on my private ema...	debilyn	2	412	Apr 16, 2006 by mebjk
	know it all A's (Preview) OK...I need to vent. I have family visiting me. I am not used to active A's anymore. Both my sister and her husband are raging A's. 12+ beers a night. Screaming drunken fights and even illegal drug use. They think because they drink Michelob they are not A's.&n...	just me	9	528	Apr 16, 2006 by just me
	Recovery Online (Preview) While I do think it is a good thing that we have an online resource to aid our recovery, my experience has been that it is often easier to be mean and to dodge reality online. Chat rooms tend to be mean-spirited places. And I don't need that in my life. I prefer to choose positive experiences, things that br...	mebjk	5	387	Apr 16, 2006 by mebjk
	just another day with my A ESH please (Preview) Good Morning Everyone, Sitting here contemplating why I am happy LOL Yesterday morning my husband came home at the right time from work (he works nights) and I just got the feeling that he didn't go to work the night before. I asked, he said he did but my gut does not feel right about his answer for var...	Jennifer	8	475	Apr 16, 2006 by Jennifer
	Long cold spring at Eden (Preview) You know ya wake up thinking things will be ok, things will be ok. I went out on the deck to spary off the pig pooty. Got it all nice and clean thinking how it is one of my favorite anti stressors just to spray spray spray.Chief, who has broken down the fence to the back yard again, is behind me ea...	debilyn	3	431	Apr 16, 2006 by Christy
	an example of let go and let HP (Preview) In a post below someone asked what our holiday plans were. I spewed a stream of concience about everything I had to do and not really knowing what my holiday entailed yet but it I'd do my best and it would be what it would be and a chuckle. Well....I'm umpiring a game and I'm offered for tickets to a...	bobump	8	523	Apr 16, 2006 by peewee
	harsh reality hit me with a bang.. (Preview) hey guys i was up the country on a break with a friend for the last 2 days...eating out, having fun, going to a pop concert etc... i was actually having a good time..managed to smile and laugh for the 2 days... came home this evening and was hit with some news that knocked me for 6... ...my ex boyf. "A" hi...	Rebecca	6	436	Apr 16, 2006 by Cyn
	Please attempt to understand and help me to understand !!! (Preview) May the PEACE AND SERENITY OF HP BE WITH YOU ALL BLESSINGS -- Edited by d53sjurne at 20:04, 2006-04-15 -- Edited by d53sjurne at 20:26, 2006-04-15 -- Edited by d53sjurne at 21:33, 2006-04-15 -- Edited by d53sjurne at 21:36, 2006-04-15	d53sjurne	9	661	Apr 16, 2006 by debilyn
	Expectations for Chat Room and Message Board (Preview) I am so grateful for AlAnon and MIP. I see that some people expect from us as individuals to "fix" their lives. This is typically newcomers. When I was the newcomer, I was too bewildered to expect someone to fix my life. Nonetheless, for some newcomers, I feel put on the spot, inadequate, a...	Jill	13	597	Apr 16, 2006 by d53sjurne
	I am not a victim (Preview) Good morning, all. I was up to take my son (my current A) to work at 3 this morning as usual, and I was thinking. (I NEVER guarantee the coherency of my pre-5:00 AM thinking, so bear with me, please) Before I found recovery, I was a victim. If so and so hadn't acted in such a way, certai...	kspear	5	542	Apr 16, 2006 by maresie
	Having trouble letting go and processing. (Preview) I feel like I am just this horrible person, mother, friend, sister. Hardly worthy to walk the earth in some people's eyes. One of the people I hold closest to my heart has just completely broke me down. ANY OTHER person and I could just let it roll off. Lately, she has been real...	ZiggyDoodles	3	412	Apr 16, 2006 by maresie
	Family expectations (Preview) I've been in program for many years and my family of origin still disappoints me. They haven't changed, so it's me that has the problem. My hurt is an old one. It's a small thing - call, email or send a card to acknowledge my natel birthday. I've asked, explained, and me...	Knees	7	405	Apr 16, 2006 by maresie
	Sharks or Trout ??? (Preview) Hmmm !!!!! Been on this site only a couple weeks. Am I still concidered a newbie ? My 1st visit to 12 step program was 40 yrs ago. Been back and forth , in and out the rest of my 52 yrs. Been to all kinds of 12stepin' programs, ACA, ACOA, ALA, EA, SAA, IA, and some I just don't remember. I nev...	d53sjurne	17	703	Apr 16, 2006 by maresie
	Can this relationship last? (Preview) Is it at all possible for a non drinker & a alcoholic to continue a relationship? I started drinking at 16. I drank booze for 28 years. we would chug beer, I drank wine, & liquor. We were underage but older people would buy it for us every wekend. A gallon between 4 or 10 peop...	hmrnrnmm	6	524	Apr 16, 2006 by lalarainbow
	Tapping into other resources (Preview) Alanon's purpose is to help families and friends of alcoholics. We come together to find help and support in dealing with the effects of alcoholism. In time we discover that the principles of our program can be practiced in "all our affairs". But there are times when, in order to work through especial...	gardengal	5	438	Apr 16, 2006 by maresie
	1st impressions of chat ???Neg or Pos (Preview) Hi All,   My gut sez to refresh the subject. My head ain't to sure how to go abou...	d53sjurne	5	501	Apr 16, 2006 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.