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Post Info TOPIC: Gratitude


Senior Member

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Gratitude


thank goodness the board is up and running! This was from earlier this morning:


Ok I admit it is late which means I am more emotional than usual....but I am gonna write anyways, cause I can :o) also because I just feel compelled to do so.


Grateful isn't a word I use regularly. When I first came into the program - and having grown up around AA - grateful is a word that quite frankly makes me nauseous.


Ok so I went to dictionary.com and looked up the word grateful and here is what it said:



  1. Appreciative of benefits received; thankful.
  2. Expressing gratitude.
  3. Affording pleasure or comfort; agreeable.

Then I had to look up gratitude and it said:


    1.   The state of being grateful; thankfulness


Well honestly that didn't really help clear it up for me :o) No surprise there - I am trying to put meaning into a word that is all about action and feeling. It struck me tonight that I am starting to really feel what that word means. I honestly can't even put into words how I feel right now. It is just nice to add another emotion to my repertoire. For so long all of the negative emotions had ruled my life. Now I am getting a taste of what healthy love feels like and along comes gratitude :o) Maybe someday I will be able to write more eloquently about how I felt the moment I really felt gratitude... for tonight I will tell you that it came in a moment when I was talking to a close friend, an impromptu meeting of the minds you might call it (lol). It was a reminder to me yet again that I am not alone in mind or in body or soul.


For anyone who hasn't been around her for very long....yeah I was one of those people who gagged everytime I saw or heard the word grateful uttered. Tonight I can say the word with tears streaming down my face and I can feel it washing over me and it is a gift my friends. It is a gift :)


 



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I felt the same way that you felt.  Whenever I heard someone say, "My name is _____, and I am a grateful member of al-anon"  I thought to myself, what in the world does that mean?  Who would be grateful that the situations in their life have led them here? (I was thinking, I am going to have to do this for the rest of my life?  These people are like 30 years older than me and have been doing this since before I was born...OMG talk about overwhelming.) And then to hear people say they were grateful for the alcoholic in their life, I thought, these people are NUTS.  So then I thought to myself, maybe they just say it.  Like it is just a rote response, like saying hello to someone when you pass by on the street.  Maybe it had no meaning at all behing it.  That went on for awhile, until the first time that I truly saw the program work in my life.  I cannot even remember when it was or what the situation was, I just new that the outcome was different because of something connected to the program.  That without Al-anon, the result would have been different, and probable ugly.  This happened again and again, and there are no coincidences, so I needed to give credit wher credit was due.  So in all honesty, today, I can say,


In gratitude, I am a grateful member of Al-anon.


Thank you to all of you for being a part of this gift.


Lynn



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~*Service Worker*~

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Spark - I am expressing my pleasure to have you as  such an agreeable friend!!!


Please don't puke, LOL


Josey


 



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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short


~*Service Worker*~

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((((Sparky))))

Wow, you just made tingles go down my spine with that share!!!

.........he says while maintaining a prudent distance by standing behind josey!!!

An extremely grateful member of the world wide fellowship of Al-anon.....and damned proud of it!

David

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Laughter is the Beginning of Healing


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It feels wonderful to see you open the door and recognize a precious gift and be able to reach out and accept it. To be able to recieve is one that was hard for me to recognize much less learn how to recieve what was there to have and have the feelings that come with it. When its so new, to self, it comes with so much excitedment sometimes. I savoured every second I could be with it. And then I knew.        How Grateful I WAS.


Congratulations on your discovery. BLESSINGS IN RECOVERY


 


 P.S. There is more to come



-- Edited by d53sjurne at 01:23, 2006-04-19

-- Edited by d53sjurne at 04:34, 2006-04-19

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I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery


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Well said sparkette....

This program offers all of us something that many have not had, I know in my case at least that it wasnt always there or didnt feel like it; unconditional love and support. Never before have I came into contact with such outgoing, generous, insightful, and gosh darn funny people as I have in Alanon. I am definately a Lifer It is awesome to have you here sparky....you contribute so much to the group as does everyone else. I am truly grateful to you all for being there whenever things were good, and when the rain was pouring down. Love you AlaPals!!!!!!


buzz

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What can serenity do for you???


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Thank you so much for your post. There are so many things in al-anon that were "barf-worthy" when I walked in the door a year ago, and now I embrace *so much*. For me it's so true that it's impossible to put into words the experience of gratitude; "I know it when I see it" and tears streaming down the face, etc. and maybe someday I'll be able to articulate it, but for now I'm just feeling it and getting used to experiencing something I can't put into words, which is a new thing for me. Thank you!!

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Ria


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(((Sparky))) thanks so much for sharing your discovery with us fellow treasure-seekers. It is always inspiring and uplifting to hear of and see someone-elses progress. I couldn't help but chuckle though at your nausea and gagging. No, it's not a sick sense of humour...it's because I could identify so much!


Let me share with you some of my first thoughts in Al-Anon. I fell through the doors of my first meeting closely resembling a demented lunatic. I was late to the meeting so had no idea how it ran and thought it was a forum for comparing how many times and how many ways we had been 'there' and back with the alcoholic. I cross-talked abominably as I thought it was my 'duty' to respond directly to everything everyone said and then tell them of similar instances in my own life. All I can really remember is that I babbled a lot and yet they seemed quite composed. I sensed the serenity in the room though of course I didn't know what it was at the time. Amazingly, when I left I felt better although by now I was beginning to feel ashamed of my behaviour as I had monopolised the meeting. The chairperson told me 'no cross-talking please' but didn't explain what it meant. I continued to do it but said things 'less angrily' lol. One lady very gently interrupted one of my vents to explain and I burst into tears! I didn't cry because I'd been 'told off' I cried because she was so kind and did it so lovingly. At the end of the meeting everyone invited me to keep coming back. Although I thought it was nice, I secretly suspected they must all be mad.


At my next few meetings I determined to keep my mouth shut and turn up on time. Oh dear, now they were all talking about God/HP and faith and gratitude. They sat with smiles on their faces and occasionally there was laughter. I thought 'My luck, I've been to hell and back and now I've gone and landed myself in some freaky occult!' I heard insanity mentioned in Step2 and thought this room full of 'mass-produced Al-Anon personalities' seemed to define it for me! I also heard take what you like and keep the rest. So I did. They said about attending for 6weeks and I was convinced this was the time it took to 'convert' me or that's when they'd start trying to initiate me into supporting some weird cause or another. Yet, I still went back, I was curious to see how they were going to 'hook me'.


It was suggested that I buy a daily reader and I thought 'and now it begins'. I of course bought them both being extremist and not wanting the group to be aware of my suspicions. AHA! The books mentioned God/HP too and I was convinced the readings contained subliminal messages, which is why they discouraged the use of non-Conference Approved Literature. Couldn't fool me though, I skipped those pages...and I still went back for more.


Then they talked specifically of being grateful for and to their alcoholics. I knew I'd never, never feel that, let alone say it out loud and decided it was best to humour these kind but insanely deluded people. I also began to recognise they had their own little language 'program speak' and visions of George Orwell's novel 1984 flitted through my head...and I kept on going. I was at three meetings a week now. One to prepare me for the weekend drinking, one to recover from it and one just 'to top up my batteries'.


Five years later I'm still here. Al-Anon worked its magic on my fearful and very sick mind and spirit. Today, I love being a 'mass-produced Al-Anon personality'. My 'weird cause' is my recovery. I love to chatter away in 'program speak', I love my alcoholic for getting me there but most of all I love the fellowship and the wonderful people in it for being there in my time of greatest need. And yes, I am truly grateful today for these blessings. Thank you for reminding me of them.


I wish you well in your continued journey of recovery and look forward to hearing you share about all the other wonderful gifts I know you'll receive. After all, we're Miracles In Progress.



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To thine own self be true.


Senior Member

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OMG - someone else who loves to talk as much as I do!!!!


Thank you Ria for your reply - it made me laugh at myself. It is the personalities that bring me back to this place when I know not what to do. Yours is so similar to mine.


another miracle in progress,


Cyndee



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