The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So many of you recently have expressed anxiety, frustration, or just general concern over the 4th step (doing it perfectly, doing it thouroughly, doing it at all) that today's Hazelden Meditation was just too good not to post for y'all. I fully agree with this message--too many people get wrapped up in the verbage of the 4th step they don't do it and they find themselves getting sicker and not living in the solution. We have to really know where we're at to know where we're going, and that's the point of the 4th step--to know our selves.
The goal isn't to do a successful inventory. The goal is to dig to the deepest levels of self-honesty. --Anonymous
The Fourth Step is the hardest one for many newcomers in the Program. It is so difficult, in fact, that some of us still waiting to do it are no longer newcomers.
It's so hard to be honest with ourselves, that some of us never accomplish it. The consequence of this is low self-esteem, which draws us toward failure.
Help is available, though. God, who knows all about us, is willing to help us get honest with ourselves. We only need to ask. Until we become honest with ourselves, we can't grow spiritually.
I found my 4th step to be the real beginning to my recovery, and the real change in me. I started to see my defects of character as soon as they came about, I started to change them.
I don't fear revisiting it, I look forward to it and see it as opportunity for real growth.
Until we become honest with ourselves, we can't grow spiritually.
I really believe that, thank you Tiger.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
When I did the 4th step teh first time, my list went on forever. My self esteem was very low at that time and I ripped into myself. I turned it into a beat up Jeannie list.
When we went over it again, I was more honest adn less critical. I looked at me as if I was someone else, and saw the good and the bad. Then I could really begin to work on change.
I had always demanded perfection from myslef and knew I fell very short of that. I needed to learn that no one is perfect and stiving for it was insane, and I would always fall short. I wouldn't demand it of anyone else, I had to learn to stop demanding it from myself. I was making myself completely neurotic!
Step 4 was not my problem step 3 gave me the most trouble. But once I accept it everything else was a snap . Fear had been removed and I was able to get totally honest with Me and grow up . Some one told me that step 4 was not about how bad u are , it's about who u are and when u know who u are you can change the things that need to be change , with this step comes an awarness that i haven't always appreciated but I am here to get well so u do what u gotta do . with God Louise
