The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So far this morning is bringing me nothing but panick. I'm not sure even how to breath. I have a racing heart and nothing I seem to be doing is helping. I thought if I could get it out of my head maybe I could start moving.
Today is my 33 birthday. I keep thinking of all that I do incorrectly in my life. So I know I have to break this thought cycle. I also need to get focused on the positive. I have beautiful children and I have a good job. I have a home.
I feel that my codependent nature is creeping up on me. I'm spending too much time worrying about making everyone else happy. I'm drowning in this.
Okay....help.......I am powerless...I can do nothing without my HP whom I consider God. I can do nothing without Him. He is the only one who can fix my broken life.
Have a happy birthday - do something wonderful for yourself! Try not to let the shoulda, coulda, woulda's get you down and the guilts drive you crazy. Just for today...
Sweetheart, just keep breathing and putting one foot in front of the other. Your HP will walk beside you. You cannot recover overnight from this illness, it's just a step at a time, a day at a time. Try to enjoy your birthday and don't worry about all the mistakes of yesterday. Things will change because you're willing, give time time. As it's your birthday do something especially nice for you.
Also, you could try sitting for 10 minutes breathing slowly and deeply. Just concentrate on each breath as you inhale and exhale. I personally repeat in my mind 'Please be near me'. I find this helps when I'm in a panic. I do hope you'll have a nice day. Many happy returns!
I am so sorry for the panic you are feeling today. One should feel good on their birhtday--maybe it is because of your birthday you are feeling this way--we have a strange way of handling the continuation of life sometimes!! I hope you have a good day. I hope someone or something comes along to brighten your day!
I to have used the prayer--Just be near me. That worked for me also. Maybe you could try that! Then maybe put on some great uplifting music--whatever you like. Right now I like "not gonna get me down" by Jo Dee Messina. I like those songs that say I can kick things in the rear and overcome, makes me feel a little more powerful and in control! (I know I'm not in control, but it helps me feel not so overwhelmed!)
Please remember that you are special. Life may have thrown you some curves, but you are getting through them. You have touched many people's lives and this world is a better place because of you!
When you are feeling overwhelmed, and very pessimistic, it is typically good evidence that we are not living in the present, and our thoughts are either focussed on the past, or the future. My sponsor used to tell me, about the "One Day at a Time" slogan, to use that one and break it down for whatever you needed at that particular day..... one DAY, one HOUR, one MINUTE, or even one SECOND....
That always helped me reel myself back in a bit...
Hope that helps, and happy birthday!!
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Happy Birthday (((Kat)))! I hope you can find the peace to enjoy the day. Birthdays can be hard for me, looking at myself and my life in a harsher way. Be kind to yourself, try to see the wonderful things that make you who you are!
Birthdays are like New Years. They are a waypoint, a mile marker where many of us stop and impose bogus expectations on ourselves.
It's also a time to reflect. Keep in mind there is healthy reflection. There is a reading in courage to change where it speak of using the past to learn and change if necessary but to take care not to dwell on it.
Today is a good day to do something for yourself, just for today. You had a great start at a gratitude list. Maybe you can expand upon it.
You mention that your codie nature is creeping up. I find it easy to allow old habits, thoughts and behaviors to come to mind, especially when I am so new in recovery. It sounds like you have some nice awareness there and that is something else you can be grateful for, because it's the first step toward change.
Happy Birthday !
{{{Kat}}}
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
Happy Birthday!!!!! Sounds like it's time for you to do something you like. It's your birthday, all other things can wait for the moment, take a part of today and just enjoy it. Maybe a bubble bath, a walk in the park or hit the Dairy Queen for a sweet treat !
I know those days that make me feel like I just can't get it right, that is the time I really need to let everything else go and just fill my needs, whatever they may be at the moment. Could be I just need to talk to someone because I'm lonely.....I have to HALT --am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely and/or Tired.
Try to put the focus on you. What makes you happy? (and your answer can't be pleasing someone else ) First time someone in program asked me that, I couldn't answer, I had to really think about it.
Again.. Happy Birthday!!!!! I'm glad you are here -- Keep coming back.
Dear one, your God is walking this walk with you. I know you have faith in the power of your HP. Trust. Breathe. Relax. Remember, taking care of you is most important.
Do something special on this birthday. Plant some flowers or go visit a pet shop and play with the puppies.
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
! 
) First time someone in program asked me that, I couldn't answer, I had to really think about it. 