The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was thinking about all the tools that alanon has to offer for a better way to live, and all the old tools I use to use in life mearly to survive in an alcoholic home.
Pre alanon, i developed a lot of "survival skills" or tools, things i used to get by, get what i thought i needed ect. I learned how to control to try to bring some kinda control to an out of control situation. I learned how to isolate to keep myself safe from harms way. These and many other "tools" I found when i worked my 4th step and since i know my higher power wants more the mere "survival" for me, I now try to practice new "tools" to replace them with.
I like to think of alanon offering me a toolbelt when i was new, and even free tools for me to pick up and put in it to use whenever i wanted to. The more i look into my toolbelt for these tools, the better my life works out for me. I think lately the ones i have been pulling out the most are "let go and let god" and "easy does it." All the slogans and other members words seem to find there way to me when and if i look in my alanon toolbelt instead of my old toolbelt with all the broken tools in it.
In looking to expand my toolbelt lol, i was wondering what tools where your favorite and which one's you used the most.
I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
For me, the tool I use most often is "One day at a time"
Being where I am at in life, and in the program, I get what seems like hundreds of things; decisions, work, people to interact with, ect to perform every day. It gets very stressful, and pre-alanon I would get all worked up about something that I didnt have to worry about for weeks. I am now able to step back.... and evaluate more appropriately what I can do in a day, and not get overwhelmed with life. I do like my hammer and my tape measure, but they only help me when i am building (or demolishing) something
I love the 3rd step prayer. I say it every morning. Even when I don't feel it, I act as if.
God, I offer myself to thee, to build with me and do with me as you will. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do YOUR will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would have helped of your love, your power, you way of life. May I do your will always.
That helps me keep my focus and stay in the day and remember that if God and I are in the boat, I better not steer cause God don't row. (hee hee)
And on that note, Maria reminds Mastiff that she should probably not ask the guys what they got wif their belts (tee hee hee).
YOUR Maria
__________________
If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Good question!!! The most helpful thing to me is that there's a new toolbelt in the first place, that I actually have the option of new behaviors and support in using them. I guess the most important tools for me lately have been meetings, the phone list, and the third step.
Meetings: This is shorthand for "ritual" right now. Having grown up without much ritual, I find that when I go to a meeting, the sameness of the reading of the steps, the welcome, the familiarity of literature etc, that going to a meeting is like wrapping myself in a familiar warm blanket. I also find it comforting because it's consistant, which my childhood was NOT, and I'm just now discovering that I actually like that :)
Phone list: I am working in a remote location, so I can't actually get to meetings much. Talking to program people is so important to me, I find myself actually making up "problems" just so I can talk to poeple. Someday I'll be able to just call someone because I want to talk, I hope!
Third step: I realized the other day that I have these really heavy moments of self-loathing. And that my HP loves me unconditionally, I'm pretty sure. So, when I'm feeling self-hating, I pretty much HAVE to turn my will and life over, because my HP will do a million times better with my life than I would in one of my "low points".
i have been trying to also be gentle with myself, b/c i tend to beat myself up for everything and it's just too exhausting. it also helps me to think that my hp is in charge and that if i continue to be true to myself (express my opinions and emotions in a healthy way) that good things will come. i'm living in faith right now...faith is my highest and best tool, hence the nick!
since i have some of that fear too, i use the acronym, face everything and recover! i'm well worth the challenge :) lol.
there are just so many, thanks again trina for reminding me of the tools, love ya, christine
I have a very large hammer that I use most extensively to pound program into my stubborn brain somedays...he he.
Actually I think my favorite tool was and continues to be the serenity prayer. I also love 'take what you like and leave the rest". Oh, oh, oh and principals before personalities!!!! I also love the part in our closing that says "you may not love all of us...but you'll come to love us in a special way....." That little bit there helped me so enormously in the beginning. It made me willing to listen to everyone...even those I dont necessarily agree with. I can not begin to tell how many times I have heard things from people that before al-anon I would have just plain not listened too for whatever reason. I have come to realize that I never know when or from where I will hear the voice of my HP. Willingness....is a great tool.
Sponsor - took a while to find a f2f sponsor and to really get started with her but I think we're finally on our way. We're starting to get into a Sat morn before meeting routine.
Steps - up to and started Step 4. I honestly feel that 4-7 all go together. Will start sharing my Blueprint for Progress w/my sponsor Sat morn. I'll be sharing as I go along instead of all at once.
Slogans - will take a good look at these once I finish step 4.
