Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

blessed · blessed

Interesting week. As we prepare for a little time away at the beach, I assumed the A would not go; as he hasn't vacationed w/ us in 2 years. But, a few times this week he has asked about things we might do while there (via email as he doesn't talk to me). I always go answer him in person and I don't like this elec...

NL14 · NL14

I just wanted to share the amazing experience I had yesterday with all of you. From the moment I woke up, I felt tense. There was no particular reason for this feeling, but there it was. I headed out for a run; when I got back, AH was leaving for work. His mood seemed fine, he sent me a funny email shortly aft...

blessed · blessed

I love how AlAnon helps in all areas of our life; not just the life w/ the A. I am an office manager and a diet coach at a doctor's office. Wednesdays are dedicated to supporting our dieters who come in for their weekly weigh-in, meaurements and encouragement. A new dieter this week asked, "What if i...

slowlearner · slowlearner

Yesterday a friend passed away from alcoholism. He drank himself straight into the grave. Such a sad story, lost a wonderful wife. He had four wonderful children and many grandchildren but just couldn't kick the bottle. He was a friend many years ago but still lived in my town and his children gr...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Latest text not from my sponsor and from my Al-Anon working spouse. I need to hear that often either from my sponsor, HP, MIP, wife and whomever cause that is one of my old self protective characteristic out of being born and raised in alcoholism. I was an isolator so that I could escape the confront...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Having a hard time with my teenage girls. They are both leaving for college in August. I will have only my youngest at home with me. I am having a lot of anxiety about it. The older ones and I are not getting along very well. Especially the oldest. She is used to living on her own most of the year, she is going...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I've been having dreams about my workplace and new job when I go to sleep at night. I've been on vacation and enjoying myself but somehow it's been haunting me. I don't know what I'm going back to. I start the job tomorrow. This isn't just new job jitters. Everything has been left up in the air concerning...

Gaby · Gaby

Well I leave it all in gods hands.. N I will pray for peace n strength.. I have NO CONTROL OF HIM !! God bless ...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I sure have a lot of practice to do. I am still reacting. overreacting. defending, justifying. Mostly internally though. Thank goodness. I moved out about 3 weeks ago. The last few days I have had little or no contact with AH. He has his ups and downs and the last few days I could tell he was down. (more liq...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, for better or worse, I'm doing the course, a dual certificate in mental health and drug and alcohol counselling. Half of it is in a classroom and the other half is job placement working in different facilities. I guess the hope is that you get along well in one of the places you work and they give you...

RiaB · RiaB

I get sabotaged by my own disease while working my program. It would help if I could mention, but not dwell on, how bi-polar illness has made my recovery slower.

unicornhunter · unicornhunter

I posted this past weekend about my alcohol wife threatening suicide and being taken to the psych hospital based on that threat. Thank you all for your support. After she was released and found her way back home she made some small efforts to small talk. I wasn't feeling it and brushed her off. I had to...

wojo · wojo

Hi, I am pretty new to thus forum but not to dealing with alcoholics. I have many family members and friends in various stages of recovery. I am currently living with my boyfriend of over 4 years who is an active alcoholic. He went to rehab about a year and a half ago and was sober for a couple of months until...

pinkchip · pinkchip

The staff at the hotel we stayed in for our wedding were great though they complained about this horrible couple staying next to us. They broke lots of stuff in the room and locked themselves out a few times. As we were laughing and just returning to our room after the reception, the couple comes down th...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Dear friends It has been a while since I posted here, though I do read the board often. My life has improved so much from when I first found this board in Jan 2013. My husbands drinking was out of control, the police were involved, financial problems terrified me. I remember searching this site and ask...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Hi lady, please check in so we know you are ok! love

JaneSmall · JaneSmall

Hi everyone, I don't really know where to start, there's so much! Met my husband 5 years ago. I knew he had had drug issues in the past and he'd been to a rehab so was now clean. Met, became friends, got closer, blah blah, you know the story. Now, I had/have 2 children from a previous relationship. He wa...

el-cee · el-cee

Serenity is in my life much more than it ever was. Even when I was still living with active drinking, I was still able to feel calm and happy. I realise this is to do with working the program and learning different ways to think about life. One of the biggest gifts was learning how to forgive. It seems like a...

whispers · whispers

Boundaries. My husband and I have been seperated for almost 18 months, we were married for 3.5 years prior. The last four months we have started to occasionally date, spending more time together. I have and continue to attend Alanon for almost 2 yrs now. He had attended one AA meeting last week. ...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

A few things going on .. my STBAX is back to randomly obsessing with me and what I'm doing. There was an incident over the weekend .. well more than one that whatever filter he had going on .. literally was out of order. Some of the things he said to the kids .. especially our youngest .. it was awful so over...

martas · martas

Hi I am new here and I have been in al anon for the past 8 months. I feel it brings me great stability into my life. My father is an active functioning alcoholic and I married an alcoholic. I did not know it then but my whole life has been impacted and shaped by this disease. Thanks to al anon I was able to unders...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I'm tired I deeply depressed .

blessed · blessed

I am about 5-6 weeks into AlAnon. I have jumped in w/ both feet to f2f meetings; the forum, and live meeting/chat; read many articles, listening to videos, and read books. I have found some kind of serenity in AlAnon that is difficult to explain. Anyone that has achieved this understands. On the other h...

watts · watts

Still Groundhog Day, but tweaks today were purging the house...I am planning on following through, so I've put a few items up on Craigslist to get some money, have donated at least 6 bags of clothing and shoes that my son and I never wear, and I've started going through the house figuring out what next to...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Has it always been there and I missed it or is it new and just added? Regardless of either answer, what does it do or what is permalink meant to do? Does anybody know?

Amy3311 · Amy3311

I recently left my AH (Almost two weeks ago). The problem is he sends me extremely abusive texts almost all day long. I want to block him from my phone but we have 2 kids (7 and 5 months), and we are currently in the middle of a home construction. We also have another home which he is living in. I have so mu...

robertnewala · robertnewala

I attend one meeting a week which is pretty much all my schedule will allow so I decided to try posting here too. Some brief history... My wife has been drinking excessively really since long before we met (I suspect) but certainly since we've been together for the past 17 years. Like most, I used to help...

Jessamine · Jessamine

AH and I recently became aware of someone in the program that needed help, a place to stay for a few weeks. We prayed and discussed it at length with each other and our sponsors before offering to let him stay in our guest space. Things went well and without any notice, on Saturday he moved somewhere unkno...

JaneDoe · JaneDoe

My husband has been sober for almost 90 days now and is on step 4 with his sponsor. Shortly after becoming sober my husband stopped being affectionate towards me and basically stopped touching me all together. I confronted him about it asking him why he doesn't touch me anymore. He is very loving and a...

anonymous1989 · anonymous1989

My husband has 2 children from his previous marriage. Their mom hasn't spoken to the kids in 2 years and left 6 years ago. We started dating two years ago and life was beautiful. He told me about 2 dwi's he had gotten in the past and how they affect him getting a job and such. While we were dating, there w...

blessed · blessed

I work in a private doctor's office, and we have awesome patients, mostly, and a few "challenges". I am being very kind. :) Today, one of those ladies and me didn't do so well. I know it is my place to keep it civil as I am the professional, but she just pushed my buttons one too many times w/ her de...

kebwcb · kebwcb

New recovering husband and also dealing with infidelity discovered over the weekend. I know that God is in control, but this is all so new that when I woke up this morning and knew it would be a hard day. I read the "Just for Today" card and started my day with "having a program." #1 o...

DavidG · DavidG

Was a time i called Alanon 'laughter and tears'. I have had a good measure of both. My home town group folded, as did the one up the road. Even our assembly looked a bit rocky... but now it might be starting to even up. Went to three meetings in South Dakota. Alanon is really strong up there. The meetings a...

barbaralewis · barbaralewis

She is sober . This is awesome. And I understand her bond with her new AA friends. But you know how when people are out there drinking and drugging , they tend to hang with a lower class of people cause they don't expect as much out of you? Well her new aa friends all are of a lower class too. they might be sob...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Been lurking but not much ESH given. I'm down in the dumps. I was invited to a 4th party at my friend house on Thursday night. I went...drank TWO glasses of wine and I got so drunk I ended up in the pool fully clothed because I was told later I wanted to be incognito. GEEZ... I had to have so...

allicat1214 · allicat1214

I went to my first Al-Anon meeting yesterday. I have so much to learn and do and process. I want to get the best books, literature for me and would like your suggestions. First a little background: Been married for 30 years.... We always drank socially. We grew up and live in a big party town. Discov...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

by Toby Rice Drews was one of the first books I read when I first joined al-anon and Codependent No More by Melody Beattie was the second, I glanced through them both lately and still suggest these books to anyone dealing with an A and that likes to grow and dig into themselves and al-anon. The 3 daily read...

el-cee · el-cee

In trying to be the person I want to be I thought I should bring out into the open how im feeling recently regarding religion. In the 12 step alanon booklet, the obstacles to success, it says that alanon is not allied with any sect or denomination, everyone is welcome. It then says, let us not defeat our pu...

unicornhunter · unicornhunter

Married for 5+ years. Wife has a drinking 'problem' (2-3 bottles of vodka per week). She had an angry outburst today that turned violent (threw iced tea at me, slammed remote control and kicked her way all over the house). I offered to leave the house until she got better and I actually left and went to my...

Lyne · Lyne

This reading is exactly what I am working on-detachment yet still trying to care. The reading says to keep my own identity and still love, care about, and identify with the feelings of others. It says to try and not take things so personally. It suggests detaching without losing compassion. Thes...

Katy · Katy

I say that to my residents when I open my serving hatch in the morning, well anyway, yesterday I got up early husband had come in late the night before, it was killing me not ask where had he been,and my usual detective self was looking for clues, and my alanon self was saying pack it up, leave it be, so I got m...

blessed · blessed

Today, i was cleaning garge and took a few things down to the workshop. While I am in there my son (17) says, "Hey mom, wanna see something cool?" I look over and he jumps up and pulls a liquor bottle in a wrapper from the rafters in the celing, and threw it on the workbench. But, this is the man tha...

astallaslions · astallaslions

Why do they constantly harbor drama!!!! I had such a hard time finally reaching this point of needing change and now after all of this, in my panicked state, I realized he has several important things of mine. A recorder my friend gave to me with my songs on it and the keys to my scooter and storage shed. I...

el-cee · el-cee

Happy wedding day.x

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery toget Step10 has been posted to the Step Board. Please join in and share your ESHThanks http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t5...

slowlearner · slowlearner

My AH came home after a weekend of golfing. I had been home by myself and absolutely loved the peace. I got so much done and felt happy doing it. Flowers planted, lawned mowed, laundry done, and all with a smile and feeling of contentment. Then...... He comes home, drinking, and being dictorial, an...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I grew up Catholic and married a very Catholic man who happens to be a raging alcoholic who goes to church on Sunday for show, and he's pretty much a hypocrite about it. Anyway for years I tried to find the Catholic within me and I prayed. And grew very bitter when my prayers were never answered and stopp...

kebwcb · kebwcb

First time poster, but desparate for some thoughts of people who have lived with an alcoholic spouse and who has been in active, serious recovery. My husband has been a heavy drinker for years. He had 3 years of a dry-drunk phase, but then the past 3 years of resumed drinking and the last year of extreme...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

After reading so many life experiences posts that have been so encouraging, I actually feel so wonderful because I am not alone. Being the wife of an AH, there are many common things that I cannot describe but were so wonderfully written here. 1) getting excited over the slightest improvement in at...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am feeling bad for my daughter. This marriage will be my second divorce. My mom 's dad was an alcoholic. She is encouraging me that my daughter will be ok with us divorcing because it will be better than her living with fighting parents and an alcoholic father. I am seeking words of encouragement from a...

Katy · Katy

We are still not talking, I have tried, but I am not forcing it, he is behaving as he always does and I am trying my upmost hardest to do something different for a different result, I usually feel that depressed when he throws me a curve ball and I caught it again,after that, I find it soooooo hard to pick mys...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I've been practicing the steps and going to on-line meetings and came to realize something that I was doing that I don't like. I play the role of the victim - didn't realize I was doing this until I started analyzing my behavior. I don't do it all the time but I do do it. I get the poor me, self-pity thing g...

el-cee · el-cee

I had to ask my son to leave a few times over the last few years because of his drinking as some of my friends here knows. So the last time he stayed with me was after he was hurt and left hospital, he then went to stay with a friend and he met someone. She is a really nice girl, friendly, sensible, calm, funny....

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Holidays can be hard in most of our situations and I remember last year sitting on the couch SO lonely on the 4th of July. I caught the televised fireworks from DC and since I'm only a couple of hours away and it is something I have always wanted to do, I vowed that this would be the year. I still don't know if m...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I've been reading a lot of the posts on this board lately, but I havent posted replies because Im new. When I read the threads, its like Im sitting in on an open discussion, but Im doing all the listening. Recently I read some discussion threads on denial. Wow, how I could relate to these!! For many years...

watts · watts

I feel as if I've been through the same thing over and over....sure, I tweak it and I get slightly different results, but none that get me out of this cycle. 12 years together, alcohol used to be fun at first, nights out, friends, laughter....but then I got pregnant 2 years into the relationship. Thin...

astallaslions · astallaslions

He's gone. I made him leave. We are broken up. When I finally said enough was enough, my heart broke. I had several panic attacks. My appetite has been ruined since he left. I lost my father to cancer, and this is such a very different, very specific form of grief, but I don't regret my decision. I know i did...

lookingup · lookingup

What of all the alanon tools do I need right now in my sit. dealing with my a bf????serenity prayer being one.

Lyne · Lyne

I recently spoke to someone who is leaving her A husband after many years. She has been going to alanon for 9 years, and she said something I will never forget: "9 years of alanon prepared me for this moment!" I loved hearing that and I see the empowerment through recovery, Lyne

glad · glad

Kinda of an odd day,, I've found myself thinking of my ex father in law who passed away a couple of years ago several times and wondered why I felt like I "missed" him today. Missed is not the right word but best I can do. Anyway then I noticed a reminder on my face book page (from an old account o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Vacation (Preview) Interesting week. As we prepare for a little time away at the beach, I assumed the A would not go; as he hasn't vacationed w/ us in 2 years. But, a few times this week he has asked about things we might do while there (via email as he doesn't talk to me). I always go answer him in person and I don't like this elec...	blessed	16	528	Jul 10, 2014 by blessed
	Wow, it's working! (Preview) I just wanted to share the amazing experience I had yesterday with all of you. From the moment I woke up, I felt tense. There was no particular reason for this feeling, but there it was. I headed out for a run; when I got back, AH was leaving for work. His mood seemed fine, he sent me a funny email shortly aft...	NL14	15	544	Jul 10, 2014 by Jen61
	Beyond the A (Preview) I love how AlAnon helps in all areas of our life; not just the life w/ the A. I am an office manager and a diet coach at a doctor's office. Wednesdays are dedicated to supporting our dieters who come in for their weekly weigh-in, meaurements and encouragement. A new dieter this week asked, "What if i...	blessed	3	441	Jul 10, 2014 by Luiza
	Old and Bad memories came up. (Preview) Yesterday a friend passed away from alcoholism. He drank himself straight into the grave. Such a sad story, lost a wonderful wife. He had four wonderful children and many grandchildren but just couldn't kick the bottle. He was a friend many years ago but still lived in my town and his children gr...	slowlearner	5	329	Jul 10, 2014 by pinkchip
	Let go it's a waste of energy... (Preview) Latest text not from my sponsor and from my Al-Anon working spouse. I need to hear that often either from my sponsor, HP, MIP, wife and whomever cause that is one of my old self protective characteristic out of being born and raised in alcoholism. I was an isolator so that I could escape the confront...	Jerry F	12	606	Jul 10, 2014 by Jerry F
	Teenagers are really difficult..right?? or is it just me?? Help!! (Preview) Having a hard time with my teenage girls. They are both leaving for college in August. I will have only my youngest at home with me. I am having a lot of anxiety about it. The older ones and I are not getting along very well. Especially the oldest. She is used to living on her own most of the year, she is going...	Newlife girl	12	433	Jul 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	I Don't Want to Go Back (Preview) I've been having dreams about my workplace and new job when I go to sleep at night. I've been on vacation and enjoying myself but somehow it's been haunting me. I don't know what I'm going back to. I start the job tomorrow. This isn't just new job jitters. Everything has been left up in the air concerning...	tiredtonite	15	504	Jul 10, 2014 by PP
	Son got sentenced !!! (Preview) Well I leave it all in gods hands.. N I will pray for peace n strength.. I have NO CONTROL OF HIM !! God bless ...	Gaby	6	336	Jul 10, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	I am sitting here alone, and I still feel like I need to justify myself. (Preview) I sure have a lot of practice to do. I am still reacting. overreacting. defending, justifying. Mostly internally though. Thank goodness. I moved out about 3 weeks ago. The last few days I have had little or no contact with AH. He has his ups and downs and the last few days I could tell he was down. (more liq...	sadsusie	13	623	Jul 10, 2014 by watts
	A general yay. (Preview) Well, for better or worse, I'm doing the course, a dual certificate in mental health and drug and alcohol counselling. Half of it is in a classroom and the other half is job placement working in different facilities. I guess the hope is that you get along well in one of the places you work and they give you...	missmeliss	19	551	Jul 10, 2014 by milkwood
	Is it OK to mention my bi-polar disease at an Alanon meeting? my disease bi-polar illness isolation fear of mentioning at a meeting (Preview) I get sabotaged by my own disease while working my program. It would help if I could mention, but not dwell on, how bi-polar illness has made my recovery slower.	RiaB	9	6550	Jul 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	'Suicidal' Wife and I have talked since Sunday. (Preview) I posted this past weekend about my alcohol wife threatening suicide and being taken to the psych hospital based on that threat. Thank you all for your support. After she was released and found her way back home she made some small efforts to small talk. I wasn't feeling it and brushed her off. I had to...	unicornhunter	3	258	Jul 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	Am I helping or enabling? (Preview) Hi, I am pretty new to thus forum but not to dealing with alcoholics. I have many family members and friends in various stages of recovery. I am currently living with my boyfriend of over 4 years who is an active alcoholic. He went to rehab about a year and a half ago and was sober for a couple of months until...	wojo	6	442	Jul 9, 2014 by Jen61
	Incidentally... (Preview) The staff at the hotel we stayed in for our wedding were great though they complained about this horrible couple staying next to us. They broke lots of stuff in the room and locked themselves out a few times. As we were laughing and just returning to our room after the reception, the couple comes down th...	pinkchip	10	512	Jul 9, 2014 by blessed
	Hope (Preview) Dear friends It has been a while since I posted here, though I do read the board often. My life has improved so much from when I first found this board in Jan 2013. My husbands drinking was out of control, the police were involved, financial problems terrified me. I remember searching this site and ask...	ParisMemories	8	385	Jul 9, 2014 by blessed
	wisdom67 (Preview) Hi lady, please check in so we know you are ok! love	Debilyn	0	172	Jul 9, 2014 by Debilyn
	New here. Wife of a drug user/alcoholic, can't take much more. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi everyone, I don't really know where to start, there's so much! Met my husband 5 years ago. I knew he had had drug issues in the past and he'd been to a rehab so was now clean. Met, became friends, got closer, blah blah, you know the story. Now, I had/have 2 children from a previous relationship. He wa...	JaneSmall	44	1595	Jul 9, 2014 by pinkchip
	forgiveness (Preview) Serenity is in my life much more than it ever was. Even when I was still living with active drinking, I was still able to feel calm and happy. I realise this is to do with working the program and learning different ways to think about life. One of the biggest gifts was learning how to forgive. It seems like a...	el-cee	9	333	Jul 9, 2014 by NL14
	boudaries (Preview) Boundaries. My husband and I have been seperated for almost 18 months, we were married for 3.5 years prior. The last four months we have started to occasionally date, spending more time together. I have and continue to attend Alanon for almost 2 yrs now. He had attended one AA meeting last week. ...	whispers	6	463	Jul 9, 2014 by whispers
	Prayers Please .. (Preview) A few things going on .. my STBAX is back to randomly obsessing with me and what I'm doing. There was an incident over the weekend .. well more than one that whatever filter he had going on .. literally was out of order. Some of the things he said to the kids .. especially our youngest .. it was awful so over...	SerenityRUS	11	495	Jul 9, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	I am a loner with a bunch of drunks (Preview) Hi I am new here and I have been in al anon for the past 8 months. I feel it brings me great stability into my life. My father is an active functioning alcoholic and I married an alcoholic. I did not know it then but my whole life has been impacted and shaped by this disease. Thanks to al anon I was able to unders...	martas	11	511	Jul 9, 2014 by slowlearner
	Can't live on life's terms (Preview) I'm tired I deeply depressed .	Wisdom67	9	574	Jul 9, 2014 by milkwood
	Hope & Reality (Preview) I am about 5-6 weeks into AlAnon. I have jumped in w/ both feet to f2f meetings; the forum, and live meeting/chat; read many articles, listening to videos, and read books. I have found some kind of serenity in AlAnon that is difficult to explain. Anyone that has achieved this understands. On the other h...	blessed	5	368	Jul 9, 2014 by blessed
	Hi again... (Preview) Still Groundhog Day, but tweaks today were purging the house...I am planning on following through, so I've put a few items up on Craigslist to get some money, have donated at least 6 bags of clothing and shoes that my son and I never wear, and I've started going through the house figuring out what next to...	watts	7	360	Jul 9, 2014 by Newlife girl
	What is the permalink area I see near our quote, reply buttons? (Preview) Has it always been there and I missed it or is it new and just added? Regardless of either answer, what does it do or what is permalink meant to do? Does anybody know?	grateful2be	9	276	Jul 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Should I cut off contact? (Preview) I recently left my AH (Almost two weeks ago). The problem is he sends me extremely abusive texts almost all day long. I want to block him from my phone but we have 2 kids (7 and 5 months), and we are currently in the middle of a home construction. We also have another home which he is living in. I have so mu...	Amy3311	20	760	Jul 8, 2014 by unicornhunter
	Two kids 11 & 14 and a constantly drunk wife (Preview) I attend one meeting a week which is pretty much all my schedule will allow so I decided to try posting here too. Some brief history... My wife has been drinking excessively really since long before we met (I suspect) but certainly since we've been together for the past 17 years. Like most, I used to help...	robertnewala	8	521	Jul 8, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Betrayed and angry (Preview) AH and I recently became aware of someone in the program that needed help, a place to stay for a few weeks. We prayed and discussed it at length with each other and our sponsors before offering to let him stay in our guest space. Things went well and without any notice, on Saturday he moved somewhere unkno...	Jessamine	6	493	Jul 8, 2014 by el-cee
	What do I do? (Preview) My husband has been sober for almost 90 days now and is on step 4 with his sponsor. Shortly after becoming sober my husband stopped being affectionate towards me and basically stopped touching me all together. I confronted him about it asking him why he doesn't touch me anymore. He is very loving and a...	JaneDoe	12	391	Jul 8, 2014 by pinkchip
	3 months married and I'm new to this (Preview) My husband has 2 children from his previous marriage. Their mom hasn't spoken to the kids in 2 years and left 6 years ago. We started dating two years ago and life was beautiful. He told me about 2 dwi's he had gotten in the past and how they affect him getting a job and such. While we were dating, there w...	anonymous1989	5	479	Jul 8, 2014 by Jerry F
	Lost it - Sort of (Preview) I work in a private doctor's office, and we have awesome patients, mostly, and a few "challenges". I am being very kind. :) Today, one of those ladies and me didn't do so well. I know it is my place to keep it civil as I am the professional, but she just pushed my buttons one too many times w/ her de...	blessed	5	292	Jul 7, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Small Victories - But No Meeting (Preview) New recovering husband and also dealing with infidelity discovered over the weekend. I know that God is in control, but this is all so new that when I woke up this morning and knew it would be a hard day. I read the "Just for Today" card and started my day with "having a program." #1 o...	kebwcb	2	238	Jul 7, 2014 by hotrod
	Pals 'n' Gals... (Preview) Was a time i called Alanon 'laughter and tears'. I have had a good measure of both. My home town group folded, as did the one up the road. Even our assembly looked a bit rocky... but now it might be starting to even up. Went to three meetings in South Dakota. Alanon is really strong up there. The meetings a...	DavidG	5	280	Jul 7, 2014 by DavidG
	Happy but dismayed simultaneously (Preview) She is sober . This is awesome. And I understand her bond with her new AA friends. But you know how when people are out there drinking and drugging , they tend to hang with a lower class of people cause they don't expect as much out of you? Well her new aa friends all are of a lower class too. they might be sob...	barbaralewis	6	531	Jul 7, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	I'm down and out (Preview) Hi Everyone Been lurking but not much ESH given. I'm down in the dumps. I was invited to a 4th party at my friend house on Thursday night. I went...drank TWO glasses of wine and I got so drunk I ended up in the pool fully clothed because I was told later I wanted to be incognito. GEEZ... I had to have so...	Cathyinaz	14	460	Jul 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	1st mtg yesterday - what now: best books, strategies, etc.? (Preview) I went to my first Al-Anon meeting yesterday. I have so much to learn and do and process. I want to get the best books, literature for me and would like your suggestions. First a little background: Been married for 30 years.... We always drank socially. We grew up and live in a big party town. Discov...	allicat1214	8	419	Jul 7, 2014 by allicat1214
	Getting Them Sober (Preview) by Toby Rice Drews was one of the first books I read when I first joined al-anon and Codependent No More by Melody Beattie was the second, I glanced through them both lately and still suggest these books to anyone dealing with an A and that likes to grow and dig into themselves and al-anon. The 3 daily read...	Breakingfree	7	1950	Jul 7, 2014 by blessed
	uncomfortable feelings (Preview) In trying to be the person I want to be I thought I should bring out into the open how im feeling recently regarding religion. In the 12 step alanon booklet, the obstacles to success, it says that alanon is not allied with any sect or denomination, everyone is welcome. It then says, let us not defeat our pu...	el-cee	37	724	Jul 7, 2014 by PP
	Wife threatened suicide today, called 911... (Preview) Married for 5+ years. Wife has a drinking 'problem' (2-3 bottles of vodka per week). She had an angry outburst today that turned violent (threw iced tea at me, slammed remote control and kicked her way all over the house). I offered to leave the house until she got better and I actually left and went to my...	unicornhunter	15	615	Jul 7, 2014 by barbaralewis
	detachment-C2C, 7/5 (Preview) This reading is exactly what I am working on-detachment yet still trying to care. The reading says to keep my own identity and still love, care about, and identify with the feelings of others. It says to try and not take things so personally. It suggests detaching without losing compassion. Thes...	Lyne	2	410	Jul 7, 2014 by hotrod
	Good morning campers! (Preview) I say that to my residents when I open my serving hatch in the morning, well anyway, yesterday I got up early husband had come in late the night before, it was killing me not ask where had he been,and my usual detective self was looking for clues, and my alanon self was saying pack it up, leave it be, so I got m...	Katy	5	388	Jul 7, 2014 by grateful2be
	Unusual Day (Preview) Today, i was cleaning garge and took a few things down to the workshop. While I am in there my son (17) says, "Hey mom, wanna see something cool?" I look over and he jumps up and pulls a liquor bottle in a wrapper from the rafters in the celing, and threw it on the workbench. But, this is the man tha...	blessed	6	421	Jul 7, 2014 by Debilyn
	kicked him out…now he won't give my stuff back (Preview) Why do they constantly harbor drama!!!! I had such a hard time finally reaching this point of needing change and now after all of this, in my panicked state, I realized he has several important things of mine. A recorder my friend gave to me with my songs on it and the keys to my scooter and storage shed. I...	astallaslions	2	279	Jul 7, 2014 by Debilyn
	Congratulations pinkchip (Preview) Happy wedding day.x	el-cee	38	950	Jul 6, 2014 by barbaralewis
	Step 10 posted to the Step Board (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery toget Step10 has been posted to the Step Board. Please join in and share your ESHThanks http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t5...	hotrod	0	176	Jul 6, 2014 by hotrod
	What strategies work for you? (Preview) My AH came home after a weekend of golfing. I had been home by myself and absolutely loved the peace. I got so much done and felt happy doing it. Flowers planted, lawned mowed, laundry done, and all with a smile and feeling of contentment. Then...... He comes home, drinking, and being dictorial, an...	slowlearner	13	598	Jul 6, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Higher Power (Preview) I grew up Catholic and married a very Catholic man who happens to be a raging alcoholic who goes to church on Sunday for show, and he's pretty much a hypocrite about it. Anyway for years I tried to find the Catholic within me and I prayed. And grew very bitter when my prayers were never answered and stopp...	slowlearner	5	522	Jul 6, 2014 by el-cee
	Confrontation while husband in active recovery (Preview) First time poster, but desparate for some thoughts of people who have lived with an alcoholic spouse and who has been in active, serious recovery. My husband has been a heavy drinker for years. He had 3 years of a dry-drunk phase, but then the past 3 years of resumed drinking and the last year of extreme...	kebwcb	5	404	Jul 6, 2014 by PP
	Life of the spouse of A (Preview) After reading so many life experiences posts that have been so encouraging, I actually feel so wonderful because I am not alone. Being the wife of an AH, there are many common things that I cannot describe but were so wonderfully written here. 1) getting excited over the slightest improvement in at...	sunshine23	4	408	Jul 6, 2014 by sunshine23
	Are there any ACOA members here whose sober parent left the A? (Preview) I am feeling bad for my daughter. This marriage will be my second divorce. My mom 's dad was an alcoholic. She is encouraging me that my daughter will be ok with us divorcing because it will be better than her living with fighting parents and an alcoholic father. I am seeking words of encouragement from a...	Newlife girl	6	335	Jul 6, 2014 by pinkchip
	Trying to take care of me! (Preview) We are still not talking, I have tried, but I am not forcing it, he is behaving as he always does and I am trying my upmost hardest to do something different for a different result, I usually feel that depressed when he throws me a curve ball and I caught it again,after that, I find it soooooo hard to pick mys...	Katy	4	273	Jul 6, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Not using my victim card anymore (Preview) I've been practicing the steps and going to on-line meetings and came to realize something that I was doing that I don't like. I play the role of the victim - didn't realize I was doing this until I started analyzing my behavior. I don't do it all the time but I do do it. I get the poor me, self-pity thing g...	slowlearner	7	1013	Jul 6, 2014 by slowlearner
	my son today (Preview) I had to ask my son to leave a few times over the last few years because of his drinking as some of my friends here knows. So the last time he stayed with me was after he was hurt and left hospital, he then went to stay with a friend and he met someone. She is a really nice girl, friendly, sensible, calm, funny....	el-cee	15	555	Jul 6, 2014 by PP
	Didn't Brood This Holiday Away (Preview) Holidays can be hard in most of our situations and I remember last year sitting on the couch SO lonely on the 4th of July. I caught the televised fireworks from DC and since I'm only a couple of hours away and it is something I have always wanted to do, I vowed that this would be the year. I still don't know if m...	wornoutmrsfixit	5	351	Jul 6, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Denial (Preview) I've been reading a lot of the posts on this board lately, but I havent posted replies because Im new. When I read the threads, its like Im sitting in on an open discussion, but Im doing all the listening. Recently I read some discussion threads on denial. Wow, how I could relate to these!! For many years...	cloudyskies	6	488	Jul 6, 2014 by grateful2be
	Groundhog Day (Preview) I feel as if I've been through the same thing over and over....sure, I tweak it and I get slightly different results, but none that get me out of this cycle. 12 years together, alcohol used to be fun at first, nights out, friends, laughter....but then I got pregnant 2 years into the relationship. Thin...	watts	7	427	Jul 6, 2014 by el-cee
	He is gone (Preview) He's gone. I made him leave. We are broken up. When I finally said enough was enough, my heart broke. I had several panic attacks. My appetite has been ruined since he left. I lost my father to cancer, and this is such a very different, very specific form of grief, but I don't regret my decision. I know i did...	astallaslions	10	520	Jul 6, 2014 by unicornhunter
	Tools (Preview) What of all the alanon tools do I need right now in my sit. dealing with my a bf????serenity prayer being one.	lookingup	4	309	Jul 5, 2014 by tiredtonite
	the power of alanon (Preview) I recently spoke to someone who is leaving her A husband after many years. She has been going to alanon for 9 years, and she said something I will never forget: "9 years of alanon prepared me for this moment!" I loved hearing that and I see the empowerment through recovery, Lyne	Lyne	4	250	Jul 5, 2014 by Jerry F
	Happy Birthday Ray! (Preview) Kinda of an odd day,, I've found myself thinking of my ex father in law who passed away a couple of years ago several times and wondered why I felt like I "missed" him today. Missed is not the right word but best I can do. Anyway then I noticed a reminder on my face book page (from an old account o...	glad	3	248	Jul 5, 2014 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.