Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

My AM asked me to get something for her & bring it upstairs..I got annoyed b/c I'm tired of enabeling her. But I feel like I can't tell her that b/c she will think it's about her drinking.. does that make sense or am I making something out of nothing? Was I wrong to get upset? Thank you for listening.

luv123 · luv123

Hi ala-friends, Gonna be 50 this week--do u remember how that felt for you or were u going through too much other bigger disease stuff at that time--do these milestone birthdays always feel tough for you ( I know many of u have also seen 60 & 70 & 80 or higher)? --I am feeling emotional; I could u...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My last atty (not the one who had the stroke my female atty) and I had a conversation about what I need to know and when, why it comes to me and that I explained it's just a God thing. I remember her looking at me and telling me S .. if it were anyone except you .. I would think they were off their rocker. I have...

Katy · Katy

So many thoughts, Letting go? Opening my mind to being taught new ways to live a better life, changing my thinking of how and why I stayed so long in something that was killing me, would it still be too smug of me to think the union of both myself and my husband was a wake up call to teach us both a hard lesson in...

Flower49 · Flower49

This morning when I woke up and began my prayers an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness came over me. I felt so grateful to have finally come to understand the need for space between my AH and myself, I was so thankful and happy for all that I have and the abilities I have that allow me to do my job, do my rec...

Luiza · Luiza

Before I discovered this amazing program, I had already committed to go to a Wedding of a special friend and a Vacation with H's family. It is all happening in August so we have few weeks to go. So I am now thinking about it more and more. H asked me the the other day to tex him the exactly days of the vacation s...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

AH and I have been separated for 2 months. whenever he sounded crazy, I would track his whereabouts to make sure he is not coming to my place. Since I have put my boundary in place (not replying to nasty text, not answering calls at unreasonable times and changing my lock) I felt safe enough to let go and no...

Flower49 · Flower49

I am so confused. I still have not been able to speak or see my husband now for 7 weeks while he is at the 1/2 way house. I was calling on Monday's asking the man in charge if the restrictions have been lifted and that he had told me it was 30 days and that was quite sometime ago. He said to me last Monday, it's not...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I have lost my serenity in the last month. And i am very unhappy snappy and mad. Doing the self talk not paying attention to whats going on around me not finding any joy in being alive and happy. my dry ah is acting squirrelly again and i am getting angry. Not alanon i know but he pushes my buttons. I told hi...

PP · PP

Thankfully I have resources to help me get through rough times. These most recent days have been rough. I don't feel well, my elderly parents are both having some rough times, and our home has been overtaken by a loving, yet large dog I have nicknamed T-Rex, as his head moves about in an awkwardly ma...

watts · watts

I've been posting here lately because it helps - Groundhog day and Hi again - so now I need to know that I'm doing the right thing....my heart is breaking but I keep going through the motions...Monday is my target date for leaving. Thoughts running through my head go crazy, so I have to keep telling myse...

Rusty Angel · Rusty Angel

Feeling a lot of guilt for leaving my alcoholic 9 months ago......because he is very ill and in declining health. I couldn't stand the emptiness of our relationship any longer.....was crying all the time, felt like the cleaning lady in the spare room down the hall. I was ready to leave a few years a...

tortuga · tortuga

the day has come when I had to move away, out of the country I used to live for 4 years. Job ended and so did my motivation to stay close to ex-abusive-A. I felt very unsure about this moment, very scared, and very sad. So much has happened. And I used to love this place. But now I start thinking, this moving aw...

Katy · Katy

He threw the photo's of our holiday at me and said there deny that, so I looked at him and said, thankyou I will take these to the doctors with me when I go in a bit and ask for help because I am cracking up with this insanity, he said you do that, he was asking me questions, well really talking at me not too me, an...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

While I am very thankful that I found this discussion board, there is nothing like face to face al-anon meetings with people who are struggling or who have struggled with the same pain that I feel. We are reading from Courage to Change, and I cannot believe how so much of this book seems to have been writt...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I go back home tomorrow after 2 weeks of off and on tennis trips with my son. It will be time to get back to reality when I get home and I'm not happy about it. AH has been working his program, he's been pleasant to talk to, but I just don't care anymore. I am so ready to move on with my life, put my son's sched...

Volleyball66 · Volleyball66

Hey, my dad is a raging alcoholic. He has been ever since my mom left. I put up with it until I got into middle school. Our fights started getting really bad, so I was hardly ever home. When I was in 8th grade I remember my dad getting the stomach flu. Around 4 in the morning he started throwing up blood. He did...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

The front of MY house which my AH lives in by himself because I moved out in March looks like an episode of "hoarders". I can't take it anymore. Should I call the city and report him anonymously? My name is still on the house but I don't think it would affect me because all the broken down stuff is...

Katy · Katy

My best friend has offered me a place to stay, I love her to bits, she has been divorced three years and lives alone, we get on amazingly well and have been very supportive of one another throughout our friendship, our interests are the same and I admire and respect her. My concerns are, I am not gay, peopl...

Luiza · Luiza

Hi. I have being learning a lot over here however, I am not being able to attend any f2f meetings (work, studies, child) and can not do online ones either as I am not in the USA and I need to sleep! I have "one day at a time" and "courage to change" books but haven't started reading it...

slowlearner · slowlearner

Alcoholism has been a factor my entire life, my childhood and then my marriage. What books are good to read to learn from. Any ideas would be great. I have some of the basics.

blessed · blessed

Interesting week. As we prepare for a little time away at the beach, I assumed the A would not go; as he hasn't vacationed w/ us in 2 years. But, a few times this week he has asked about things we might do while there (via email as he doesn't talk to me). I always go answer him in person and I don't like this elec...

NL14 · NL14

I just wanted to share the amazing experience I had yesterday with all of you. From the moment I woke up, I felt tense. There was no particular reason for this feeling, but there it was. I headed out for a run; when I got back, AH was leaving for work. His mood seemed fine, he sent me a funny email shortly aft...

blessed · blessed

I love how AlAnon helps in all areas of our life; not just the life w/ the A. I am an office manager and a diet coach at a doctor's office. Wednesdays are dedicated to supporting our dieters who come in for their weekly weigh-in, meaurements and encouragement. A new dieter this week asked, "What if i...

slowlearner · slowlearner

Yesterday a friend passed away from alcoholism. He drank himself straight into the grave. Such a sad story, lost a wonderful wife. He had four wonderful children and many grandchildren but just couldn't kick the bottle. He was a friend many years ago but still lived in my town and his children gr...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Latest text not from my sponsor and from my Al-Anon working spouse. I need to hear that often either from my sponsor, HP, MIP, wife and whomever cause that is one of my old self protective characteristic out of being born and raised in alcoholism. I was an isolator so that I could escape the confront...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Having a hard time with my teenage girls. They are both leaving for college in August. I will have only my youngest at home with me. I am having a lot of anxiety about it. The older ones and I are not getting along very well. Especially the oldest. She is used to living on her own most of the year, she is going...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I've been having dreams about my workplace and new job when I go to sleep at night. I've been on vacation and enjoying myself but somehow it's been haunting me. I don't know what I'm going back to. I start the job tomorrow. This isn't just new job jitters. Everything has been left up in the air concerning...

Gaby · Gaby

Well I leave it all in gods hands.. N I will pray for peace n strength.. I have NO CONTROL OF HIM !! God bless ...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I sure have a lot of practice to do. I am still reacting. overreacting. defending, justifying. Mostly internally though. Thank goodness. I moved out about 3 weeks ago. The last few days I have had little or no contact with AH. He has his ups and downs and the last few days I could tell he was down. (more liq...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, for better or worse, I'm doing the course, a dual certificate in mental health and drug and alcohol counselling. Half of it is in a classroom and the other half is job placement working in different facilities. I guess the hope is that you get along well in one of the places you work and they give you...

RiaB · RiaB

I get sabotaged by my own disease while working my program. It would help if I could mention, but not dwell on, how bi-polar illness has made my recovery slower.

unicornhunter · unicornhunter

I posted this past weekend about my alcohol wife threatening suicide and being taken to the psych hospital based on that threat. Thank you all for your support. After she was released and found her way back home she made some small efforts to small talk. I wasn't feeling it and brushed her off. I had to...

wojo · wojo

Hi, I am pretty new to thus forum but not to dealing with alcoholics. I have many family members and friends in various stages of recovery. I am currently living with my boyfriend of over 4 years who is an active alcoholic. He went to rehab about a year and a half ago and was sober for a couple of months until...

pinkchip · pinkchip

The staff at the hotel we stayed in for our wedding were great though they complained about this horrible couple staying next to us. They broke lots of stuff in the room and locked themselves out a few times. As we were laughing and just returning to our room after the reception, the couple comes down th...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Dear friends It has been a while since I posted here, though I do read the board often. My life has improved so much from when I first found this board in Jan 2013. My husbands drinking was out of control, the police were involved, financial problems terrified me. I remember searching this site and ask...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Hi lady, please check in so we know you are ok! love

JaneSmall · JaneSmall

Hi everyone, I don't really know where to start, there's so much! Met my husband 5 years ago. I knew he had had drug issues in the past and he'd been to a rehab so was now clean. Met, became friends, got closer, blah blah, you know the story. Now, I had/have 2 children from a previous relationship. He wa...

el-cee · el-cee

Serenity is in my life much more than it ever was. Even when I was still living with active drinking, I was still able to feel calm and happy. I realise this is to do with working the program and learning different ways to think about life. One of the biggest gifts was learning how to forgive. It seems like a...

whispers · whispers

Boundaries. My husband and I have been seperated for almost 18 months, we were married for 3.5 years prior. The last four months we have started to occasionally date, spending more time together. I have and continue to attend Alanon for almost 2 yrs now. He had attended one AA meeting last week. ...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

A few things going on .. my STBAX is back to randomly obsessing with me and what I'm doing. There was an incident over the weekend .. well more than one that whatever filter he had going on .. literally was out of order. Some of the things he said to the kids .. especially our youngest .. it was awful so over...

martas · martas

Hi I am new here and I have been in al anon for the past 8 months. I feel it brings me great stability into my life. My father is an active functioning alcoholic and I married an alcoholic. I did not know it then but my whole life has been impacted and shaped by this disease. Thanks to al anon I was able to unders...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I'm tired I deeply depressed .

blessed · blessed

I am about 5-6 weeks into AlAnon. I have jumped in w/ both feet to f2f meetings; the forum, and live meeting/chat; read many articles, listening to videos, and read books. I have found some kind of serenity in AlAnon that is difficult to explain. Anyone that has achieved this understands. On the other h...

watts · watts

Still Groundhog Day, but tweaks today were purging the house...I am planning on following through, so I've put a few items up on Craigslist to get some money, have donated at least 6 bags of clothing and shoes that my son and I never wear, and I've started going through the house figuring out what next to...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Has it always been there and I missed it or is it new and just added? Regardless of either answer, what does it do or what is permalink meant to do? Does anybody know?

Amy3311 · Amy3311

I recently left my AH (Almost two weeks ago). The problem is he sends me extremely abusive texts almost all day long. I want to block him from my phone but we have 2 kids (7 and 5 months), and we are currently in the middle of a home construction. We also have another home which he is living in. I have so mu...

robertnewala · robertnewala

I attend one meeting a week which is pretty much all my schedule will allow so I decided to try posting here too. Some brief history... My wife has been drinking excessively really since long before we met (I suspect) but certainly since we've been together for the past 17 years. Like most, I used to help...

Jessamine · Jessamine

AH and I recently became aware of someone in the program that needed help, a place to stay for a few weeks. We prayed and discussed it at length with each other and our sponsors before offering to let him stay in our guest space. Things went well and without any notice, on Saturday he moved somewhere unkno...

JaneDoe · JaneDoe

My husband has been sober for almost 90 days now and is on step 4 with his sponsor. Shortly after becoming sober my husband stopped being affectionate towards me and basically stopped touching me all together. I confronted him about it asking him why he doesn't touch me anymore. He is very loving and a...

anonymous1989 · anonymous1989

My husband has 2 children from his previous marriage. Their mom hasn't spoken to the kids in 2 years and left 6 years ago. We started dating two years ago and life was beautiful. He told me about 2 dwi's he had gotten in the past and how they affect him getting a job and such. While we were dating, there w...

blessed · blessed

I work in a private doctor's office, and we have awesome patients, mostly, and a few "challenges". I am being very kind. :) Today, one of those ladies and me didn't do so well. I know it is my place to keep it civil as I am the professional, but she just pushed my buttons one too many times w/ her de...

kebwcb · kebwcb

New recovering husband and also dealing with infidelity discovered over the weekend. I know that God is in control, but this is all so new that when I woke up this morning and knew it would be a hard day. I read the "Just for Today" card and started my day with "having a program." #1 o...

DavidG · DavidG

Was a time i called Alanon 'laughter and tears'. I have had a good measure of both. My home town group folded, as did the one up the road. Even our assembly looked a bit rocky... but now it might be starting to even up. Went to three meetings in South Dakota. Alanon is really strong up there. The meetings a...

barbaralewis · barbaralewis

She is sober . This is awesome. And I understand her bond with her new AA friends. But you know how when people are out there drinking and drugging , they tend to hang with a lower class of people cause they don't expect as much out of you? Well her new aa friends all are of a lower class too. they might be sob...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Been lurking but not much ESH given. I'm down in the dumps. I was invited to a 4th party at my friend house on Thursday night. I went...drank TWO glasses of wine and I got so drunk I ended up in the pool fully clothed because I was told later I wanted to be incognito. GEEZ... I had to have so...

allicat1214 · allicat1214

I went to my first Al-Anon meeting yesterday. I have so much to learn and do and process. I want to get the best books, literature for me and would like your suggestions. First a little background: Been married for 30 years.... We always drank socially. We grew up and live in a big party town. Discov...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

by Toby Rice Drews was one of the first books I read when I first joined al-anon and Codependent No More by Melody Beattie was the second, I glanced through them both lately and still suggest these books to anyone dealing with an A and that likes to grow and dig into themselves and al-anon. The 3 daily read...

el-cee · el-cee

In trying to be the person I want to be I thought I should bring out into the open how im feeling recently regarding religion. In the 12 step alanon booklet, the obstacles to success, it says that alanon is not allied with any sect or denomination, everyone is welcome. It then says, let us not defeat our pu...

unicornhunter · unicornhunter

Married for 5+ years. Wife has a drinking 'problem' (2-3 bottles of vodka per week). She had an angry outburst today that turned violent (threw iced tea at me, slammed remote control and kicked her way all over the house). I offered to leave the house until she got better and I actually left and went to my...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Was I wrong? (Preview) My AM asked me to get something for her & bring it upstairs..I got annoyed b/c I'm tired of enabeling her. But I feel like I can't tell her that b/c she will think it's about her drinking.. does that make sense or am I making something out of nothing? Was I wrong to get upset? Thank you for listening.	phoenixmagicgirl	6	454	Jul 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	On Turning 50 or higher/ using program tools (Preview) Hi ala-friends, Gonna be 50 this week--do u remember how that felt for you or were u going through too much other bigger disease stuff at that time--do these milestone birthdays always feel tough for you ( I know many of u have also seen 60 & 70 & 80 or higher)? --I am feeling emotional; I could u...	luv123	18	704	Jul 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	Information magnet .. LOL (Preview) My last atty (not the one who had the stroke my female atty) and I had a conversation about what I need to know and when, why it comes to me and that I explained it's just a God thing. I remember her looking at me and telling me S .. if it were anyone except you .. I would think they were off their rocker. I have...	SerenityRUS	4	510	Jul 12, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	what to call this next thread? (Preview) So many thoughts, Letting go? Opening my mind to being taught new ways to live a better life, changing my thinking of how and why I stayed so long in something that was killing me, would it still be too smug of me to think the union of both myself and my husband was a wake up call to teach us both a hard lesson in...	Katy	8	692	Jul 12, 2014 by Debilyn
	Grateful (Preview) This morning when I woke up and began my prayers an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness came over me. I felt so grateful to have finally come to understand the need for space between my AH and myself, I was so thankful and happy for all that I have and the abilities I have that allow me to do my job, do my rec...	Flower49	6	301	Jul 12, 2014 by MindyC
	Getting slightly anxious now. We need to go to a wedding and vacation... (Preview) Before I discovered this amazing program, I had already committed to go to a Wedding of a special friend and a Vacation with H's family. It is all happening in August so we have few weeks to go. So I am now thinking about it more and more. H asked me the the other day to tex him the exactly days of the vacation s...	Luiza	5	662	Jul 12, 2014 by Luiza
	I am so sad (Preview) AH and I have been separated for 2 months. whenever he sounded crazy, I would track his whereabouts to make sure he is not coming to my place. Since I have put my boundary in place (not replying to nasty text, not answering calls at unreasonable times and changing my lock) I felt safe enough to let go and no...	sunshine23	10	625	Jul 12, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Still no communication (Preview) I am so confused. I still have not been able to speak or see my husband now for 7 weeks while he is at the 1/2 way house. I was calling on Monday's asking the man in charge if the restrictions have been lifted and that he had told me it was 30 days and that was quite sometime ago. He said to me last Monday, it's not...	Flower49	27	1562	Jul 12, 2014 by Flower49
	Lost serenity (Preview) I have lost my serenity in the last month. And i am very unhappy snappy and mad. Doing the self talk not paying attention to whats going on around me not finding any joy in being alive and happy. my dry ah is acting squirrelly again and i am getting angry. Not alanon i know but he pushes my buttons. I told hi...	Mirandac	9	513	Jul 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Rough times and gratitude (Preview) Thankfully I have resources to help me get through rough times. These most recent days have been rough. I don't feel well, my elderly parents are both having some rough times, and our home has been overtaken by a loving, yet large dog I have nicknamed T-Rex, as his head moves about in an awkwardly ma...	PP	21	698	Jul 12, 2014 by PP
	Doing the right thing? (Preview) I've been posting here lately because it helps - Groundhog day and Hi again - so now I need to know that I'm doing the right thing....my heart is breaking but I keep going through the motions...Monday is my target date for leaving. Thoughts running through my head go crazy, so I have to keep telling myse...	watts	10	575	Jul 11, 2014 by Jerry F
	Guilt (Preview) Feeling a lot of guilt for leaving my alcoholic 9 months ago......because he is very ill and in declining health. I couldn't stand the emptiness of our relationship any longer.....was crying all the time, felt like the cleaning lady in the spare room down the hall. I was ready to leave a few years a...	Rusty Angel	8	517	Jul 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	i finally moved away... (Preview) the day has come when I had to move away, out of the country I used to live for 4 years. Job ended and so did my motivation to stay close to ex-abusive-A. I felt very unsure about this moment, very scared, and very sad. So much has happened. And I used to love this place. But now I start thinking, this moving aw...	tortuga	10	580	Jul 11, 2014 by tortuga
	Well I left him! (Preview) He threw the photo's of our holiday at me and said there deny that, so I looked at him and said, thankyou I will take these to the doctors with me when I go in a bit and ask for help because I am cracking up with this insanity, he said you do that, he was asking me questions, well really talking at me not too me, an...	Katy	11	682	Jul 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	face2face (Preview) While I am very thankful that I found this discussion board, there is nothing like face to face al-anon meetings with people who are struggling or who have struggled with the same pain that I feel. We are reading from Courage to Change, and I cannot believe how so much of this book seems to have been writt...	cloudyskies	5	421	Jul 11, 2014 by blessed
	Wish me luck (Preview) I go back home tomorrow after 2 weeks of off and on tennis trips with my son. It will be time to get back to reality when I get home and I'm not happy about it. AH has been working his program, he's been pleasant to talk to, but I just don't care anymore. I am so ready to move on with my life, put my son's sched...	ilovedogs	10	576	Jul 11, 2014 by ilovedogs
	My story.... (Preview) Hey, my dad is a raging alcoholic. He has been ever since my mom left. I put up with it until I got into middle school. Our fights started getting really bad, so I was hardly ever home. When I was in 8th grade I remember my dad getting the stomach flu. Around 4 in the morning he started throwing up blood. He did...	Volleyball66	11	598	Jul 11, 2014 by Rusty Angel
	Would you do this?? (Preview) The front of MY house which my AH lives in by himself because I moved out in March looks like an episode of "hoarders". I can't take it anymore. Should I call the city and report him anonymously? My name is still on the house but I don't think it would affect me because all the broken down stuff is...	Newlife girl	6	583	Jul 11, 2014 by Mattie
	your thoughts please (Preview) My best friend has offered me a place to stay, I love her to bits, she has been divorced three years and lives alone, we get on amazingly well and have been very supportive of one another throughout our friendship, our interests are the same and I admire and respect her. My concerns are, I am not gay, peopl...	Katy	7	487	Jul 11, 2014 by el-cee
	Not able to attend meetings...what do I do? Stuck.. (Preview) Hi. I have being learning a lot over here however, I am not being able to attend any f2f meetings (work, studies, child) and can not do online ones either as I am not in the USA and I need to sleep! I have "one day at a time" and "courage to change" books but haven't started reading it...	Luiza	6	536	Jul 11, 2014 by el-cee
	What books should be read? (Preview) Alcoholism has been a factor my entire life, my childhood and then my marriage. What books are good to read to learn from. Any ideas would be great. I have some of the basics.	slowlearner	4	1696	Jul 11, 2014 by el-cee
	Vacation (Preview) Interesting week. As we prepare for a little time away at the beach, I assumed the A would not go; as he hasn't vacationed w/ us in 2 years. But, a few times this week he has asked about things we might do while there (via email as he doesn't talk to me). I always go answer him in person and I don't like this elec...	blessed	16	584	Jul 10, 2014 by blessed
	Wow, it's working! (Preview) I just wanted to share the amazing experience I had yesterday with all of you. From the moment I woke up, I felt tense. There was no particular reason for this feeling, but there it was. I headed out for a run; when I got back, AH was leaving for work. His mood seemed fine, he sent me a funny email shortly aft...	NL14	15	599	Jul 10, 2014 by Jen61
	Beyond the A (Preview) I love how AlAnon helps in all areas of our life; not just the life w/ the A. I am an office manager and a diet coach at a doctor's office. Wednesdays are dedicated to supporting our dieters who come in for their weekly weigh-in, meaurements and encouragement. A new dieter this week asked, "What if i...	blessed	3	503	Jul 10, 2014 by Luiza
	Old and Bad memories came up. (Preview) Yesterday a friend passed away from alcoholism. He drank himself straight into the grave. Such a sad story, lost a wonderful wife. He had four wonderful children and many grandchildren but just couldn't kick the bottle. He was a friend many years ago but still lived in my town and his children gr...	slowlearner	5	391	Jul 10, 2014 by pinkchip
	Let go it's a waste of energy... (Preview) Latest text not from my sponsor and from my Al-Anon working spouse. I need to hear that often either from my sponsor, HP, MIP, wife and whomever cause that is one of my old self protective characteristic out of being born and raised in alcoholism. I was an isolator so that I could escape the confront...	Jerry F	12	671	Jul 10, 2014 by Jerry F
	Teenagers are really difficult..right?? or is it just me?? Help!! (Preview) Having a hard time with my teenage girls. They are both leaving for college in August. I will have only my youngest at home with me. I am having a lot of anxiety about it. The older ones and I are not getting along very well. Especially the oldest. She is used to living on her own most of the year, she is going...	Newlife girl	12	499	Jul 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	I Don't Want to Go Back (Preview) I've been having dreams about my workplace and new job when I go to sleep at night. I've been on vacation and enjoying myself but somehow it's been haunting me. I don't know what I'm going back to. I start the job tomorrow. This isn't just new job jitters. Everything has been left up in the air concerning...	tiredtonite	15	563	Jul 10, 2014 by PP
	Son got sentenced !!! (Preview) Well I leave it all in gods hands.. N I will pray for peace n strength.. I have NO CONTROL OF HIM !! God bless ...	Gaby	6	397	Jul 10, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	I am sitting here alone, and I still feel like I need to justify myself. (Preview) I sure have a lot of practice to do. I am still reacting. overreacting. defending, justifying. Mostly internally though. Thank goodness. I moved out about 3 weeks ago. The last few days I have had little or no contact with AH. He has his ups and downs and the last few days I could tell he was down. (more liq...	sadsusie	13	690	Jul 10, 2014 by watts
	A general yay. (Preview) Well, for better or worse, I'm doing the course, a dual certificate in mental health and drug and alcohol counselling. Half of it is in a classroom and the other half is job placement working in different facilities. I guess the hope is that you get along well in one of the places you work and they give you...	missmeliss	19	610	Jul 10, 2014 by milkwood
	Is it OK to mention my bi-polar disease at an Alanon meeting? my disease bi-polar illness isolation fear of mentioning at a meeting (Preview) I get sabotaged by my own disease while working my program. It would help if I could mention, but not dwell on, how bi-polar illness has made my recovery slower.	RiaB	9	7592	Jul 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	'Suicidal' Wife and I have talked since Sunday. (Preview) I posted this past weekend about my alcohol wife threatening suicide and being taken to the psych hospital based on that threat. Thank you all for your support. After she was released and found her way back home she made some small efforts to small talk. I wasn't feeling it and brushed her off. I had to...	unicornhunter	3	315	Jul 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	Am I helping or enabling? (Preview) Hi, I am pretty new to thus forum but not to dealing with alcoholics. I have many family members and friends in various stages of recovery. I am currently living with my boyfriend of over 4 years who is an active alcoholic. He went to rehab about a year and a half ago and was sober for a couple of months until...	wojo	6	504	Jul 9, 2014 by Jen61
	Incidentally... (Preview) The staff at the hotel we stayed in for our wedding were great though they complained about this horrible couple staying next to us. They broke lots of stuff in the room and locked themselves out a few times. As we were laughing and just returning to our room after the reception, the couple comes down th...	pinkchip	10	568	Jul 9, 2014 by blessed
	Hope (Preview) Dear friends It has been a while since I posted here, though I do read the board often. My life has improved so much from when I first found this board in Jan 2013. My husbands drinking was out of control, the police were involved, financial problems terrified me. I remember searching this site and ask...	ParisMemories	8	445	Jul 9, 2014 by blessed
	wisdom67 (Preview) Hi lady, please check in so we know you are ok! love	Debilyn	0	229	Jul 9, 2014 by Debilyn
	New here. Wife of a drug user/alcoholic, can't take much more. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi everyone, I don't really know where to start, there's so much! Met my husband 5 years ago. I knew he had had drug issues in the past and he'd been to a rehab so was now clean. Met, became friends, got closer, blah blah, you know the story. Now, I had/have 2 children from a previous relationship. He wa...	JaneSmall	44	1848	Jul 9, 2014 by pinkchip
	forgiveness (Preview) Serenity is in my life much more than it ever was. Even when I was still living with active drinking, I was still able to feel calm and happy. I realise this is to do with working the program and learning different ways to think about life. One of the biggest gifts was learning how to forgive. It seems like a...	el-cee	9	390	Jul 9, 2014 by NL14
	boudaries (Preview) Boundaries. My husband and I have been seperated for almost 18 months, we were married for 3.5 years prior. The last four months we have started to occasionally date, spending more time together. I have and continue to attend Alanon for almost 2 yrs now. He had attended one AA meeting last week. ...	whispers	6	520	Jul 9, 2014 by whispers
	Prayers Please .. (Preview) A few things going on .. my STBAX is back to randomly obsessing with me and what I'm doing. There was an incident over the weekend .. well more than one that whatever filter he had going on .. literally was out of order. Some of the things he said to the kids .. especially our youngest .. it was awful so over...	SerenityRUS	11	555	Jul 9, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	I am a loner with a bunch of drunks (Preview) Hi I am new here and I have been in al anon for the past 8 months. I feel it brings me great stability into my life. My father is an active functioning alcoholic and I married an alcoholic. I did not know it then but my whole life has been impacted and shaped by this disease. Thanks to al anon I was able to unders...	martas	11	572	Jul 9, 2014 by slowlearner
	Can't live on life's terms (Preview) I'm tired I deeply depressed .	Wisdom67	9	631	Jul 9, 2014 by milkwood
	Hope & Reality (Preview) I am about 5-6 weeks into AlAnon. I have jumped in w/ both feet to f2f meetings; the forum, and live meeting/chat; read many articles, listening to videos, and read books. I have found some kind of serenity in AlAnon that is difficult to explain. Anyone that has achieved this understands. On the other h...	blessed	5	431	Jul 9, 2014 by blessed
	Hi again... (Preview) Still Groundhog Day, but tweaks today were purging the house...I am planning on following through, so I've put a few items up on Craigslist to get some money, have donated at least 6 bags of clothing and shoes that my son and I never wear, and I've started going through the house figuring out what next to...	watts	7	419	Jul 9, 2014 by Newlife girl
	What is the permalink area I see near our quote, reply buttons? (Preview) Has it always been there and I missed it or is it new and just added? Regardless of either answer, what does it do or what is permalink meant to do? Does anybody know?	grateful2be	9	334	Jul 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Should I cut off contact? (Preview) I recently left my AH (Almost two weeks ago). The problem is he sends me extremely abusive texts almost all day long. I want to block him from my phone but we have 2 kids (7 and 5 months), and we are currently in the middle of a home construction. We also have another home which he is living in. I have so mu...	Amy3311	20	822	Jul 8, 2014 by unicornhunter
	Two kids 11 & 14 and a constantly drunk wife (Preview) I attend one meeting a week which is pretty much all my schedule will allow so I decided to try posting here too. Some brief history... My wife has been drinking excessively really since long before we met (I suspect) but certainly since we've been together for the past 17 years. Like most, I used to help...	robertnewala	8	581	Jul 8, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Betrayed and angry (Preview) AH and I recently became aware of someone in the program that needed help, a place to stay for a few weeks. We prayed and discussed it at length with each other and our sponsors before offering to let him stay in our guest space. Things went well and without any notice, on Saturday he moved somewhere unkno...	Jessamine	6	553	Jul 8, 2014 by el-cee
	What do I do? (Preview) My husband has been sober for almost 90 days now and is on step 4 with his sponsor. Shortly after becoming sober my husband stopped being affectionate towards me and basically stopped touching me all together. I confronted him about it asking him why he doesn't touch me anymore. He is very loving and a...	JaneDoe	12	451	Jul 8, 2014 by pinkchip
	3 months married and I'm new to this (Preview) My husband has 2 children from his previous marriage. Their mom hasn't spoken to the kids in 2 years and left 6 years ago. We started dating two years ago and life was beautiful. He told me about 2 dwi's he had gotten in the past and how they affect him getting a job and such. While we were dating, there w...	anonymous1989	5	541	Jul 8, 2014 by Jerry F
	Lost it - Sort of (Preview) I work in a private doctor's office, and we have awesome patients, mostly, and a few "challenges". I am being very kind. :) Today, one of those ladies and me didn't do so well. I know it is my place to keep it civil as I am the professional, but she just pushed my buttons one too many times w/ her de...	blessed	5	348	Jul 7, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Small Victories - But No Meeting (Preview) New recovering husband and also dealing with infidelity discovered over the weekend. I know that God is in control, but this is all so new that when I woke up this morning and knew it would be a hard day. I read the "Just for Today" card and started my day with "having a program." #1 o...	kebwcb	2	294	Jul 7, 2014 by hotrod
	Pals 'n' Gals... (Preview) Was a time i called Alanon 'laughter and tears'. I have had a good measure of both. My home town group folded, as did the one up the road. Even our assembly looked a bit rocky... but now it might be starting to even up. Went to three meetings in South Dakota. Alanon is really strong up there. The meetings a...	DavidG	5	347	Jul 7, 2014 by DavidG
	Happy but dismayed simultaneously (Preview) She is sober . This is awesome. And I understand her bond with her new AA friends. But you know how when people are out there drinking and drugging , they tend to hang with a lower class of people cause they don't expect as much out of you? Well her new aa friends all are of a lower class too. they might be sob...	barbaralewis	6	588	Jul 7, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	I'm down and out (Preview) Hi Everyone Been lurking but not much ESH given. I'm down in the dumps. I was invited to a 4th party at my friend house on Thursday night. I went...drank TWO glasses of wine and I got so drunk I ended up in the pool fully clothed because I was told later I wanted to be incognito. GEEZ... I had to have so...	Cathyinaz	14	527	Jul 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	1st mtg yesterday - what now: best books, strategies, etc.? (Preview) I went to my first Al-Anon meeting yesterday. I have so much to learn and do and process. I want to get the best books, literature for me and would like your suggestions. First a little background: Been married for 30 years.... We always drank socially. We grew up and live in a big party town. Discov...	allicat1214	8	479	Jul 7, 2014 by allicat1214
	Getting Them Sober (Preview) by Toby Rice Drews was one of the first books I read when I first joined al-anon and Codependent No More by Melody Beattie was the second, I glanced through them both lately and still suggest these books to anyone dealing with an A and that likes to grow and dig into themselves and al-anon. The 3 daily read...	Breakingfree	7	2107	Jul 7, 2014 by blessed
	uncomfortable feelings (Preview) In trying to be the person I want to be I thought I should bring out into the open how im feeling recently regarding religion. In the 12 step alanon booklet, the obstacles to success, it says that alanon is not allied with any sect or denomination, everyone is welcome. It then says, let us not defeat our pu...	el-cee	37	792	Jul 7, 2014 by PP
	Wife threatened suicide today, called 911... (Preview) Married for 5+ years. Wife has a drinking 'problem' (2-3 bottles of vodka per week). She had an angry outburst today that turned violent (threw iced tea at me, slammed remote control and kicked her way all over the house). I offered to leave the house until she got better and I actually left and went to my...	unicornhunter	15	673	Jul 7, 2014 by barbaralewis
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.