The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Still Groundhog Day, but tweaks today were purging the house...I am planning on following through, so I've put a few items up on Craigslist to get some money, have donated at least 6 bags of clothing and shoes that my son and I never wear, and I've started going through the house figuring out what next to get rid of, what to put aside for pickup at a later date and what absolutely needs to be taken now (taxes, laptop, wii u lol, passports, birth certificates, dress clothes for work, etc.). Also applied for two jobs in the new town, cancelled current memberships here, and I will be hard at it again tomorrow.
It's now after 10...he's not home yet. I haven't done the dishes...sounds trivial, but it might be what sets him off if he comes upstairs. But this time they aren't getting done til the morning. Still scared, but pushing back the fear as hard as I can. Nothing changes if nothing changes right?
-- Edited by watts on Tuesday 8th of July 2014 12:26:30 AM
-- Edited by watts on Tuesday 8th of July 2014 12:27:10 AM
Good Work Watts. When I become fearful, I recite the Serenity prayer over and over in my mind. I then find the courage, serenity and wisdom to continue. Keep coming back.
Yes, good work. You are courageous...we can act courageously and be shaking inside. A prayer I like is "God give me stamina and the grace to endure". (((Hugs)))
I am in a similar situation and I have had my foot out of the door for a very long time, in the past he has always been able to work me around to submisision and owning whatever it was he was doing and I was taking it, my mind body and heart is hurting so much right now after another episode, but this time I hope I am listening to my heart and head in an healthy way, what ever I have been doing in my past has not worked and I too am trying to step into the unknown, I have been doing things consciously and subconsciously for a while now, and it feels like I am heading somewhere different, in the way of sorting out my own affairs to make my move away from something that I have no control over and am done trying to, some days I don't know how I manage to stay upright, I have ignored for too long the signs that my body is struggling, funny how it takes a while for the mind to catch up, at some point in my day when things have been awful I have wondered how I got through it, and then I remember that people can't always see what is going on inside and we are masters of hiding behind a mask, thank goodness too, so faking it until we make is probably what I am doing, and thats ok, In the past I would have had to do the chores whatever, being so afraid of the consequences if I didn't, I have been stepping aside from things too and the house is going into decline, I can't say it's not bothering me, it is, but in a different way now, I am trying to use what I am feeling for myself to care for myself, you go easy my friend, I think we will know when we are ready xxxxx
