The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Dear friends
It has been a while since I posted here, though I do read the board often. My life has improved so much from when I first found this board in Jan 2013. My husbands drinking was out of control, the police were involved, financial problems terrified me. I remember searching this site and asking the question, do any marriages survive this? I wasn't hopeful. So I wanted to share here my experience.
After almost two years of being a member of this board, attending F2F meetings sometimes 3x per week, and reading the literature, my life is greatly changed. I now have a strong connection with my Higher Power, I have a wonderful support system through my Alanon friends, my fears have lessened, and my husband is now approaching six months sober. When I finally took my focus off of him, stopped trying to control his drinking, stopped snooping and searching for information that just caused me pain, when I put the focus on myself, things began to get better. Detaching with love was SO HARD. It went against everything I learned as a child. I was always the one who fixed everything. I was the responsible one, the smart one, the good one, the one who did the right thing. When I finally started to leave that person behind and became the me I was meant to be, I didn't have time to focus on my husbands behaviors. He was left to deal with them on his own. He slowly in fits and starts, began to take care of himself. There were many times I contemplated divorce, but told myself to wait until I was stronger and healthier before taking such major action. Today we are both working on our recovery, our marriage is getting stronger, we are both starting to act like adults. (We are nearly 50). I realize that not every story goes this way, and that tomorrow, everything could change. There are no guarantees in this life. I am grateful that my husband and I have this second chance. I'm grateful that I'm a healthier person today, and that no matter which way the story goes, I will be okay.
Thanks to all of you for supporting me on this journey.
For those that are new, please keep coming back. There is hope.
Paris
I, like Cathy, remember some of your early posts. I am so very, very happy for you, Paris. Thank you for an Al-Anon recovery story that shows how much progress you have made! Wow!
Thank you so much for that positive post. I am [almost] fifty and my AH is 51. I am living one day at a time, and not making any major changes at this time. I am skeptical of change because he still has enablers in his family of origin, but I am getting healthier, so regardless of what the future holds, I will be equipped to handle it better than before AlAnon.
I wish you all the best in this new chapter in your life, and hope it is truly a turning point in your lives and many years of wedding bliss. :)
