The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Now I'm not making a plan right here because my plans, in recent years and especially recent months, just don't happen the way I say that they should. So I'm just saying, this is interesting. It piques my curiosity. I intend to explore it further.
I was talking to a dear friend of the al-anon persuasion about my total career confusion....I've been doing this 4 year course for 5 years and haven't finished...still 2 years to go, good grief...it's hopeless, now I need work, the job agency want me to do a short course to give me skills to get a good job quickly, woe is me I don't want to change careers, what can I do oh poor melly what a terrible terrible quandry she is in...lol... (daughter was extremely sick during 3 of those 5 years so, don't judge me too harshly although she's well now and I have been a big lazy lump for over a year now when I should have only 12 months or less to complete...)
Anyway she says 'Why don't you do counselling?"
Oh. Well, you know what, I really enjoyed and apparently had an aptitude for that in the 3 units that I did as part of my course. And if I did do a 6 month course it would only add to my skills as a practitioner in the long term. Oh, ok, this idea is genius. I feel light bulbs lighting up in my brain everywhere. This REALLY interests me. Plus with these places they do all kinds of job placement. It wouldn't stop me from finishing my degree, it would enhance it AND give me an employable skill that I can use way sooner while I finish the longer course at night...
So I looked at the classes they offer at my local neighbourhood house and there are 3 that sort of fit the bill. 3 certificates in mental health- 1 is youth work, one is aged care and one is drugs and alcohol. Guess which one my eyes are drawn to. Yep, I'd feel more at home working with drunk/off their face people than with teenagers or nice old folks. What does that say about me?? ugh!
I wonder if its a bad idea. Or if it would be good for me. Gosh I certainly have had years of practice, lol.
Anyway the idea sits nicely in my mind today. Find part time job in coffee shop. Do this course. Receive qualification and seek more rewarding work. Continue doing my naturopathy course at night. I like it. I wonder.
I guess if it's a good idea, it will keep unfolding, if it's a bad idea, HP will make sure I know about it pretty promptly, lol. I'll go to call the agency to find out if I can do the course and the phone will explode in my hand. Or i'll walk down to the neighbourhood house to enrol in the course and a massive sink-hole will open up and the neighbourhood house will collapse into it right before my eyes. HP isn't really very subtle lately!!!
Just musing. Does anyone else work WITH drug and alcohol problems (aside from Pink who I am ITCHING to hear from on this one, when he's done getting married), any thoughts? The idea doesn't horrify me I have to admit.
Anyway, just an idea that seems to tie the threads of a plan together somewhat...maybe it won't pan out, I have ideas all over the place lately and get ahead of myself. Still it's an interesting one.
-- Edited by missmeliss on Saturday 5th of July 2014 03:29:53 AM
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
This made me laugh in recognition and I can't say that it is a bad idea because I've spent the last few days looking up courses as well. I'll leave it to others to put us straight on our motivations.
As far as I can tell in the UK there are very few counsellors who focus on the family of alcoholics. Having experienced a couple of relationship counsellors applying their training to my situation I think that the counselling sector could benefit from more understanding about how the nearest and dearest are affected and the things we do to try to make everything seem alright. Plus I'm sure that there are a load of other things that I don't even know yet. I've spent years learning about the disease and I am definitely someone who likes to turn a negative into a positive. I'd love to lobby for more understanding - especially since I think that nationally the problem is going to get worse before it gets better.
It sounds as if the job agency is raising quite a few opportunities for you - I loved the idea of you in the library! That said, everything that you have learnt and continue to learn about naturopathy will surely dovetail very well with counselling as well. Nothing is wasted whatever you do.
I don't think that you need signs on the scale of explosions or sinkholes to make you aware of what your instincts are telling you these days, your awareness is so much more finely tuned than that old friend
Oooh are you trying to decide what you want to be when you grow up too milkwood? lol. Are you considering counselling then? Is what you are describing sort of the direction you want to take it? Because that sounds fantastic to me. Or are you just saying that would be a good thing for a counsellor to do but what you want to do is something completely different?
You know they say addicts stop maturing when they start indulging their addictions...well, yeah I reckon I am about at the point I was when I got married the first time- and now here I am, changing courses, trying to get a drivers license, a part time job while I study, flip flopping about careers and share accomodation and...lol. That's a good 15 years or so I have given up to obsessing over (and behaving badly with) drunks and addicts and here I am still having to do all those things I should have done when I reached adulthood.
I do feel like a twit a lot of the time
-- Edited by missmeliss on Saturday 5th of July 2014 06:30:33 AM
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Good Thought MsM
I have no experience with this subject--just wanted to send positive thoughts and energy on the way. You are by no means a "Twit" remember your asset list :)
Thanks Betty. This is going to sound a bit weird and, maybe scary.
You know when I was a teenager and young adult I got to know my alcoholic father. He was extremely passionate about politics. That was great because it turned out, so was I. And he was an extreme unionist and lo,and behold, so was I! I ended up going to university and doing a double major in politics and english. I thought I might become a political correspondant, but at the same time, my boyfriend (whom I lived with) was studying law. I did all of his legal notes for him, I was good at that too, maybe I would transfer into law? Or do a double major in politics/law? I was SO interested in those things. They were just WHO I AM. I thought i was a bit of an enigma, this hardcore unionist with an elitest mega-rich boyfriend, I had the weirdest ideas but I was so sure i could make them work. OMG. I spent 2 years working towards transferring into law.
Then my boyfriend left me. I wrote a sci-fi novel in the year I was alone. The novel is in a defunct computer in the garage. It's not bad, very immature i suppose, 500 pages or so. Then I married my ex-husband. He just wanted to work, have bbq's, smoke pot, and raise kids. He said, "People just have to work and then they enjoy their money by drinking and smoking on the weekends". Well, that was convenient because, the simple life was my thing too, it turned out. So I worked as a chef. Drank and got stoned on the weekends, had a child, and then he left me. I wrote another almost-finished novel, it's in the same ruined computer, in the garage. that one was pretty good too, actually if I can ever extract it from the dead computer I'll send it to publishers. It's good. Then I met ABF, and do you know what he was into? Go on, guess. I dare you. Alternative remedies. And here I am, I have been enrolled to study this naturopathy course for how many years and I can't quite seem to get motivated.. well i was motivated at the start, to cure my child but now she is better and..
Look I dont think i just get to play around and have fun while everyone else works. And I'm not a stranger to working, I did have such a strong work ethic once and I had so much energy and worked hard. I'm also really good at study. Seriously. But now, I just feel dead, I can't get interested in anything.
I just wanted to have a plan, and do it well, and be good at something that I was passionate about.
Lol, maybe that's because my grandmother always told me i was special, gifted, i had to do something important, be something big...lol maybe that was someone else's idea too...
I guess I am passionate about sitting in my bedroom wasting time on my laptop and being sad, because I do it a lot and I do it well.
I feel like an idiot saying all of this. But, I felt like an idiot admitting things about myself in the first place, when i first came to al-anon and so much has changed since then. So maybe thiss stuff isn't crazy and shameful either, the idea that I have always tried to just be whatever I thought would impress a guy..and i didn't even know it...or maybe that just takes me way outside the realm of normal and i just really embarrased myself.
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
I am glad that you are seeing possibilities, any possibility. When you are removed from your ABF, begin to earn money, wherever that may be, begin to interact with people in your community, your true self will feel safe to come out and play. Entertain whatever bubbles up, bring it here and in your meetings, let it out. You have not ever been in a safe place to do that...anything and everything is ok here. Don't share your dreams with many people outside of recovery communities, otherwise they could be tainted, influenced, shut down, etc..you don't have the sea legs, yet, to hold onto what is true for you. That is not an insult; I am speaking from my own experience.
Lol Paula, my mum thinks I should write novels and make money being a tarot reader. Its such an attractive idea yet so laughable. I appreciate your advice. You are right, I don't have my sea legs. I'm just so sick of feeling like I am not part of the world, I'm going to be 38 years old in a few days and i feel like a freeloading idiot.. It's hard not to be angry and impatient with myself. Maybe I should just become a crazy cat lady, sheesh.
-- Edited by missmeliss on Saturday 5th of July 2014 08:28:35 AM
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Use us to help you explore. I believe when you secure a part time position, you will feel differently, until then, just be with whatever feelings you have and continue to take action. In time, you will know what is right for you short term and long term, if you keep exploring and listening. When I begin to feel I am not doing enough, I remember my teachings on energy, and I begin to send prayers outward to people, situations, the world, etc. To the outside world it appears as though I am doing nothing, but I know better, because I know the principles of energy. You, too, know these principles. I also know that I need to take action...someone once told me that "when the amish pray, they move their feet". I remember, this, too!
What a brilliant idea for your next novel - a woman whose mother wanted her to be a tarot reading novelist - what adventures she would have! Isn't Hotrod clever to remind you of your writing skills?
Melly, I'm lucky enough to be in a position to choose the direction that I want to go in next. I've spent thirty years working in the fashion industry - a lovely world and I've been very fortunate but it feels like it is time for a change. Part and parcel of growing up I guess!! Making the choice I want, rather than just falling in with the opportunities that present themselves, is proving to be a challenge , but I'm opening doors and as things firm up I can always flip a coin and see how I feel. Rocket science as Jerry says!!
Paula - I love that description of an amish prayer!
Awareness, acceptance, guided action. If you want to finish the course work while you do work you enjoy that helps pay your bills, it may take two more years to complete the coursework then it does and you will have gained something you really wanted because you didn't quit. That beautiful story about the tortoise and the hare comes to me as I write this. It doesn't matter how long it takes us to get to where we are going in my experience. It just matters that we stay the course with our eyes on the prize and keep moving forward. I was 38 when I was hired to start work on the organization I created. No money. No know how. No contacts other than the man who wanted me to interview for the position. All I knew was that I wanted to create something that my family had lacked for single Moms and their children going through hard times. I did that and more. All I really had to do was say "yes," show up, surrender my plans for how to make my dreams come true, and trust my HP to guide me and to give me the resources I needed to do what I agreed within me and outside of me to do. You are smart. You are capable. You are worthy. You are a woman with many skills and talents and abilities that the world wants and the world is waiting to receive. There will be obstacles to you obtaining what you truly want for yourself. There are always obstacles. But with program work and your HP, you will learn how to face them and deal with them, go around them, or climb over them. (((M)))
All great ideas MsM I think I would bring that old computer to the computer geeks at you computer store and ask them to retrive the information They can work wonders. Let us know if they were able Good luck.
