New here. Wife of a drug user/alcoholic, can't take much more. - Al-Anon Family Group

JaneSmall · Member

RE: New here. Wife of a drug user/alcoholic, can't take much more.

JaneSmall · Member

PP wrote:
Save your breath, there is nothing you can say to him that will change him. Step 1 is admitting we are powerless. You do not cause any of this, you cannot control him smoking weed using alcohol or an y other substances and you cannot cure him. If you were faced with a brick wall and wanted to get through to the other side, how long would it take you to break through by banging your head into it? you are banging your head against a brick wall talking and trying to reason with him. We have been telling you to get to meetings, and I mean no offense, but it is beginning to feel like the guidance is meeting with a brick wall. Let go, sweetie, surrender your will and pride and reach more aggressively for recovery by following what has worked for millions of people...Meetings and sponsorship. There is a seat and fellowship waiting for you in your community.

I'm listening to everyone's guidance. It's not going to be easy to change my whole mind set in a matter of days. I'm posting asking questions and trying to understand more, is that not what this forum is for? I've used the chat room already.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Save your breath, there is nothing you can say to him that will change him. Step 1 is admitting we are powerless. You do not cause any of this, you cannot control him smoking weed using alcohol or an y other substances and you cannot cure him. If you were faced with a brick wall and wanted to get through to the other side, how long would it take you to break through by banging your head into it? you are banging your head against a brick wall talking and trying to reason with him. We have been telling you to get to meetings, and I mean no offense, but it is beginning to feel like the guidance is meeting with a brick wall. Let go, sweetie, surrender your will and pride and reach more aggressively for recovery by following what has worked for millions of people...Meetings and sponsorship. There is a seat and fellowship waiting for you in your community.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I could not heal through my mindset, however, I have experienced tremendous healing through the grace of surrender and humility.

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

If he's open to hearing it, of course you can share it. Also..This concept of alanon and being powerless over their addiction is new to you. You are digesting all of it well. Just keep reaching out and take care of you.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.