Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

nowandlater · nowandlater

I'm new on here, and looking for advice. I've not spent much time around alcoholics (that I knew of), and I'm not even clear on what makes someone an alcoholic. I've had a friend for several years, and he binge drinks sometimes. Mainly, I'm confused as to what to make of his behavior toward me. Has an...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Just found a letter from the hospital which my AH had tried to hide. It is an appointment for his liver scan on Wednesday. I don't know why he hid it. I would have phoned to check if nothing had arrived by Monday. Perhaps he is a little scared of the result. I think I know the result already - but maybe not. I as...

Kattab · Kattab

Hello, I just wanted to write down my thoughts because I've been so depressed lately over my decision. Starting at the beginning, I was with a kanabis addict for a 6 months (addict from 16 years of age to 24, 3-4 joints a day), until recently I put an end to the relationship, shortly after I began to attend...

RLC · RLC

I hope all of you have a wonderful day. If there's one thing that always holds true---- that no one can change----and no one can take away---- it's a Mother's Love. It rings loud----and rings eternal. My Mother passed away in 2000 and boy do I still miss her. She's gone, but she left something behi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I once thought that when a recovering Alcoholic was taken at gun point from a meeting while on his way from the bathroom that HP could not raise the "test" bar any further. It's true he was taken at gun point (after the fact info) and was gone leaving his Al-Anon wife praying that he hadn't rela...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, This has been a long hard week and the end of the week is finally visible. Now for the tricky part. I need not carry the crap from this week into the next one. I can leave it here and move on, but I can keep and carry the lessons that I learned this week. The danger of putting yourself out there and...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

Today is my AH's 60th day sober. He is doing very well. I'm very proud of him, he is going to meetings, reading the literature and trying to be true to himself. We are getting along very well. I am apprehensive because soon is will be 3 months and that is usually when he falls off. Last night I had a nightma...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((((((Hello Friends)))))), Today I have been reading some very heartfelt posts......this disease destroys so many families and takes so many lives. I have learned thru my process of life that some get sober and stay there and some do not....we have absolutely no control over the disease. I...

Nalina · Nalina

Hi everyone. I've been reading the posts on here for the past couple of days. They have all been VERY helpful. To share a little about myself: I have recently moved in with my BF in January, pretty much cross country from the home that I was living in. This is a man that I have known since I was very young an...

Cosmos · Cosmos

I met my alcoholic girlfriend from England three years ago, when I was still living in Norway. We met online, so for the first two months or so our only contact was through internet and phone calls. She told me that she was in AA and that she had been sober for 5 years at that time. I remember thinking that th...

Jozie · Jozie

I know that God only hands what is felt we can handle, and I know there is a great lesson in what is happening around me currently, however, I am so exausted I don't know that i can take much more in this moment... My back & neck have been stiff with tension for the last 10days... Day one being the Vewing...

maresie · maresie

My life is very challenging at the moment. My finances are poor, I have a lot of obstacles in my way whatever way I turn, second job, bills, and more bills..... Normally I would be totally submerged in self pity, catastrophe and depression. Now I am working the program I have to let so much that is out of my...

barisax · barisax

I'm shocked and saddened to learn of the alcoholic death of an old friend from the program. Yet, like my father's death many years ago, it's not surprising that a person would die from a fatal disease. My friend had some years of sobriety. He was a good friend, we did have other activities together bes...

wunderbar · wunderbar

Hi everyone, I've thought about Al-Anon for a while now, but I haven't been sure if I belong here. I know you get lots of new members and stories all the time, and you probably hear the same thing over and over again though we all probably think our story is unique. However, I'd appreciate it if you'd be wil...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I did a Fifth Step with my sponsor over last weekend. It's absolutely amazing how much better I feel. I sometimes really let myself believe that I am a terrible person that has done terrible things to other people and to myself. The Fifth Step really helped me to realize that I am not a terrible person...

jimswife · jimswife

I just want to thank everyone for the support over the past several days. Especially Kitty! You've been awesome! This is one wife who now feels empowered and not victimized. I've never felt so not-alone in this and am so grateful to have found this site. You have helped me go from feeling sorry for...

ollie · ollie

hi family, dont write on here much,but with you ever day. just got back from the doc,s with ah,hes having trouble eating,coughing up gunk. she explains this is a typical alcoholic,s complaint,burning the esophagus,and having a hitus hernia at the bottom of it. she has a chat to him about AA,he says he...

brittg0403 · brittg0403

Hi everybody, I am in a relationship w an addict. I know this site is mainly for alcoholics, but I don't know where else to turn. I began this relationship with knowledge that my bf had a history of drug abuse but I had no knowledge of this disease and therefore i thought this was something that was in his pa...

Hopeless · Hopeless

I'm trying to focus soley on this program (which has been a God sent).... I'm starting to feel overwhelmed with setting boundaries, allowing A to see our kids w/o him taking advantage of the situation, detaching myself from his issues and focusing on mine = ) I'm sure I'm not the only one on her...

kml26385 · kml26385

Thanks to al anon, I have learned the importance of taking care of ME. I have been a "caretaker" all of my life...took care of my mom through various bouts with alcohol and drugs...assumed all of the household responsibility when I was growing up due to mom working midnight shifts...it's...

macintosh · macintosh

I have been reading the posts for quite awhile now and figured it was time to introduce myself. My situation is not really different than most others. Married for 18 years, two boys, 16 and 14. My husband has always drank but was always a responsible person. I used to party every weekend too, before havi...

jensmom · jensmom

Hello, my name is Debbie and I have been married to an alcoholic for 23 years. Is there such a thing as a functioning alcoholic? If there is, then my husband is one of them. He is very successful in his work and has been driving for so long drunk that he actually drives better than when he is sober! I have...

Hopeless · Hopeless

I'm on this setting my boundaries kick with the A = ) After finally getting a restraining order from him he knows I'm serious (at least I hope so)... After 3 weeks of not seeing or talking to one another I just allowed him to start seeing the children (not overnight) so obviously there is now some...

RLC · RLC

To All The MIP family, I would like to get your feedback on "Emotional Detachment, and how you use it, or have used it in dealing with the alcoholic in your life. I was asked that question in a PM from a new member of the board. I answered the member with what I consider to be emotional detachment b...

daisygirl · daisygirl

Well, after everything I have been struggling with regarding my ABF... something else happens. My children were over at there father's house for weekend visitation. I went to pick them up on Sunday. When my teenage boys got in the car, my 15 year old said, "mom, I need to show you what I found in...

Hopeless · Hopeless

I'm sure I'm not the only one that has insecurity issues on this site but I want to share how I'm feeling about a situation regarding the A... I have distance myself with the A as far as him and I are concerned and only talk in regards to our daughter... I drop her off to him and pick her up so I know wh...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

My AH calls me to say how much he loves me and bla bla but that he's not gonna stop drinking, he's gonna keep it under control cause, as an alcoholic that he is, his body will need a little bit of alcohol. I had to stop myself from laughing long enough to say: That's the point. You are an alcoholic and your body...

jimswife · jimswife

I've read through the message board before, just as a lurker, though. I thought I could "be strong" and deal with this as well as supporting my AH's sobriety. I was so wrong... I don't know where to begin, so I'll start here. My husband hit rock bottom right before Thanksgiving and starte...

Courage · Courage

Agenda Meeting opening with "The Serenity Prayer" March Meeting Minutes have not been submitted Review of Op meeting schedule -The current OP Meeting Schedule is as follows:AMMon. - Shimo/No altTues. - Doxie/No altWed. - Iona/No altThurs. - Doxie/No altFri. - Blendergirl/No altSat...

tlcate · tlcate

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42763

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

My AH has a few mornings off for the next 2 weeks, and then he will be unemployed for a while during an intensive prep class to take the bar exam. I've found myself feeling a bit of fear and projecting. His last relapse into alcohol happened when he had mornings off and a lot of free time. There are also o...

John · John

Many times while trying to help, friends and family members actually make the situation worse by enabling the alcoholic.Here's some tips on how to stop enabling the alcoholic from comfortably continuing his current patterns:Cease doing anything that allows the alcoholic to continue their curr...

lyndebi · lyndebi

The major surgery was last Monday. So far it is fine. I will warn you, rotator cuff surgery is horribly painful and you should not be alone! Plus they make it a one day surgery. I had to go back to er the night I got out to get a pain shot! Never was talked to by the doctor, got zero post op directions! When I sobe...

zhotdogs99 · zhotdogs99

I've been a part of my community's Alanon program for about nine months now and it has done nothing short of transforming my outlook on life and my situation. It seems like there are some really seasoned and knoweldgeable Alanon-ers here so I was hoping to get some insight on this looming event that's...

Tracy · Tracy

After my ABF's recent relapse I wanted space. He could see I was detaching and was scared. He tried to manipulate me again. He pushed and promised all the same old stuff. He is attending meetings and is trying to sort his life out. He has only been sober aweek I went shopping yesterday and got angrey...

Gailey · Gailey

I have to say I really loved the movie. I watched it with my husband the first time and with my son and his friend the second time. The second time I noticed something that I did not agree with and I don't think Alanoners agree with in this day and age. When Lois was introduced to Dr Bob's wife and the men said...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

I don't know if you remember my first post from last week. My boyfriend is and alcoholic, and I kicked him out about a month ago, as I don't want my daughter to have to deal with this, and frankly, I can't deal with it anymore, either, especially being the daughter of an alcoholic. Well, A boyfriend volunt...

lmw · lmw

My ex moved to the same town the kids and I live in last summer. He's relapsed a few times since then, drinking in his rented room. He managed to land a job about six weeks ago, and is actually supposed to have insurance coverage through them starting today, covering all of us. In the past six years, h...

LIGHTBULB · LIGHTBULB

Hello I am having trouble logging into the online meetings - I keep getting errors can someone help - I didnt have this problem before Thanks

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I am just wondering if all the bad luck ever ends....my son was involved in a car accident today....he seems to be ok just a concussion and bruised....however, he only had his car for about a month and it is totaled. I swear two steps forward and ten steps back.....my son has come such alo...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Background: -I told my AH to leave 4 weeks ago. -He finally "got it" about 2 weeks ago and went to stay with at his parents camp. -This week he calls to tell me he is getting an apartment. When I agreed I think he was very surprised. -I have spent this week like a load has been removed from my shou...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled meeting Monday morning as I have tests at the hospital and will not be able to return home in time to chair. Hoping someone may be able to step up for me. Love in recovery, Shimo (aka Jeri)

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Hi! I have just come back from a week-long conference. I had a brilliant time - took my son with me and he really relaxed for the 1st time in ages. He was issued with his own "guest" badge of which he was so proud. AH answered the phone to us twice a day (I had threatened to send the police round if...

Hopeless · Hopeless

In a previous post I stated that I talked to the A in regards to seeing his daughter... Per my PFA order he is to get supervised visitation and give me $150 in child support.. When I came home I noticed he didn't leave me anything so I questioned him about this and he stated that he could only give me $75...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

Last time I posted I explained how my Ahusband(we're aeparated) was moving and buying my dream dog just to manipulate me. Well, he called and told me he was sending me pictures of dogs and bla bla. I asked are you buying us (us meaning me and Bianca) a dog? He replied No, I'm buying a dog for myself Ughhh I t...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I am visiting my old roommate this weekend who I have not seen for years. I am feeling that nervousness again - that I won't be accepted, I'll be judged. THis morning I read the Thought for Today from Hazelden and it was a reminder that I need not let the "old" feelings of codpendency and recove...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm being asked to step in and take on a role of responsibility for something that truly is not my responsibility. It is a situation, however, where it may be for the good of someone. I don't want to go into the details of the situation here (saving that for my sponsor.) Ahh... the Al-Anon in me wants to say...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Has anyone ever brought their A to an Al-Anon Meeting? If so what type of reaction did the A have?

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF has come out of a three week relapse. He has lots of consequences to face. Owes £1,500. Lost best friend, kids have detached from him, his mum is really depressed and I can not have a relationship I can see I am very sick too. We have had odd chat and he is really working the programme. He has foun...

China · China

Hello, I think that I am better as the time goes on. I finally think that i can move on. My ex A still around, but he does not affect me as before. Now I have the choice to tell him to leave the house whenever i feel that it is getting to me. I still have issues like insecurities. No one will think that about me sin...

pineapple · pineapple

The good news is that AH hasn't been drinking for over two months now. But we seem to be having trouble adjusting to the whole situation of him being sober. I want him to make some decisions as I'm tired of making all the decisions for the last year. He has a lot of projects and things going on, but when it co...

Courage · Courage

Agenda Meeting opening with "The Serenity Prayer"First Item: April Meeting Minutes Next Item: Review of Op meeting schedule -The current OP Meeting Schedule is as follows:AMMon. - Shimo/No altTues. - Doxie/No altWed. - Iona/No altThurs. - Doxie/No altFri. - Blendergirl/No altSat....

Hopeless · Hopeless

A is a social drinker NEVER drinks at home only at bars... With that being said we have eliminated supervised visits (it was causing more problems, etc)... He is staying at a mutual friends house right now and with the help of my sister she is going to drop and pick up my daughter... The family...

Hopeless · Hopeless

I just fought with myself for an hour on whether I should post this or not = / But.... I realize that I needed support especially from people that know what I'm talking about! I miss my 5 days of having a "normal" family.... Basically my life was based on a weekend of binging from th...

canadianguy · canadianguy

The recent posts about the effects of 'pot' versus 'alcohol', remind me of others that have been debated on here in prior times..... Some examples: hard liquor vs. beer having an A spouse vs. having an A child vs. having an A parent binge users vs. everyday users alcohol vs. other drugs etc, etc.... I b...

daisygirl · daisygirl

After I left his house this morning, I got a text that said, "You mean the world to me can, we talk after work don't want to end this way" He said he was sorry for avoiding me, he was mad and was wrong for hurting me...he didn't want to hurt me. He said he has been struggling with things and would...

FuzzyLogic · FuzzyLogic

My ABF went to the doctor this week. Doc agreed with me and ordered tests to verify that ABF has most likely been suffering TIA's (mini strokes). He then proceeded to give him the death lecture and remind him of all the patients he has lost to this disease called alcholism. Bloated livers, failing organ...

ythannah · ythannah

Didn't want to hijack Hopeless's thread with my own question, so I'm putting it in a separate thread. I realize that I will need to do work with a sponsor to make real progress in my own recovery. Is it best to choose a sponsor from your home group? I ask because my home group is tiny (sometimes only 3 of us...

Destynee · Destynee

My H came home drunk early Sunday morning and just verbally abusive. I told him he couldn't come in so he slept in his truck. About 8 AM sunday he came in and was so verbally abusive to me. The name calling, etc was horrible and in front of my 3 and 1 year old. He ended up punching me in the head and stomach. ...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	help understanding ?alcoholic? friend personality change (Preview) I'm new on here, and looking for advice. I've not spent much time around alcoholics (that I knew of), and I'm not even clear on what makes someone an alcoholic. I've had a friend for several years, and he binge drinks sometimes. Mainly, I'm confused as to what to make of his behavior toward me. Has an...	nowandlater	5	860	May 9, 2010 by mon123
	My handsome son and girlfriend on the way to prom (Preview)	Andrea12	10	795	May 9, 2010 by maresie
	Update on "heartbreaking" (Preview) Just found a letter from the hospital which my AH had tried to hide. It is an appointment for his liver scan on Wednesday. I don't know why he hid it. I would have phoned to check if nothing had arrived by Monday. Perhaps he is a little scared of the result. I think I know the result already - but maybe not. I as...	Tattyhead	3	677	May 9, 2010 by maresie
	Worrying... (Preview) Hello, I just wanted to write down my thoughts because I've been so depressed lately over my decision. Starting at the beginning, I was with a kanabis addict for a 6 months (addict from 16 years of age to 24, 3-4 joints a day), until recently I put an end to the relationship, shortly after I began to attend...	Kattab	6	492	May 9, 2010 by maresie
	HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MIP MOTHERS !!! (Preview) I hope all of you have a wonderful day. If there's one thing that always holds true---- that no one can change----and no one can take away---- it's a Mother's Love. It rings loud----and rings eternal. My Mother passed away in 2000 and boy do I still miss her. She's gone, but she left something behi...	RLC	2	607	May 9, 2010 by Andrea12
	I want my bro back!! (Preview) I once thought that when a recovering Alcoholic was taken at gun point from a meeting while on his way from the bathroom that HP could not raise the "test" bar any further. It's true he was taken at gun point (after the fact info) and was gone leaving his Al-Anon wife praying that he hadn't rela...	Jerry F	16	902	May 9, 2010 by Karilynn
	Long week fulll of many lessons (Preview) Hi family, This has been a long hard week and the end of the week is finally visible. Now for the tricky part. I need not carry the crap from this week into the next one. I can leave it here and move on, but I can keep and carry the lessons that I learned this week. The danger of putting yourself out there and...	Mandy123	8	739	May 8, 2010 by White Rabbit
	60 days (Preview) Today is my AH's 60th day sober. He is doing very well. I'm very proud of him, he is going to meetings, reading the literature and trying to be true to himself. We are getting along very well. I am apprehensive because soon is will be 3 months and that is usually when he falls off. Last night I had a nightma...	Sweet Stanley	7	812	May 8, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Life Goes on (24th wedding anniversary) (Preview) (((((((((((((Hello Friends)))))), Today I have been reading some very heartfelt posts......this disease destroys so many families and takes so many lives. I have learned thru my process of life that some get sober and stay there and some do not....we have absolutely no control over the disease. I...	Andrea12	7	739	May 8, 2010 by tlcate
	Hi-My story (Preview) Hi everyone. I've been reading the posts on here for the past couple of days. They have all been VERY helpful. To share a little about myself: I have recently moved in with my BF in January, pretty much cross country from the home that I was living in. This is a man that I have known since I was very young an...	Nalina	15	1018	May 8, 2010 by tlcate
	Dating an alcoholic in recovery. (Preview) I met my alcoholic girlfriend from England three years ago, when I was still living in Norway. We met online, so for the first two months or so our only contact was through internet and phone calls. She told me that she was in AA and that she had been sober for 5 years at that time. I remember thinking that th...	Cosmos	12	2193	May 8, 2010 by tlcate
	Emotional Overload... (Preview) I know that God only hands what is felt we can handle, and I know there is a great lesson in what is happening around me currently, however, I am so exausted I don't know that i can take much more in this moment... My back & neck have been stiff with tension for the last 10days... Day one being the Vewing...	Jozie	9	736	May 7, 2010 by Christy
	Not adding to the burden. (Preview) My life is very challenging at the moment. My finances are poor, I have a lot of obstacles in my way whatever way I turn, second job, bills, and more bills..... Normally I would be totally submerged in self pity, catastrophe and depression. Now I am working the program I have to let so much that is out of my...	maresie	8	932	May 7, 2010 by maresie
	Cunning, Baffling, Powerful but Not Surprising (Preview) I'm shocked and saddened to learn of the alcoholic death of an old friend from the program. Yet, like my father's death many years ago, it's not surprising that a person would die from a fatal disease. My friend had some years of sobriety. He was a good friend, we did have other activities together bes...	barisax	11	1028	May 7, 2010 by barisax
	Identifying the early stage? (Preview) Hi everyone, I've thought about Al-Anon for a while now, but I haven't been sure if I belong here. I know you get lots of new members and stories all the time, and you probably hear the same thing over and over again though we all probably think our story is unique. However, I'd appreciate it if you'd be wil...	wunderbar	5	1308	May 7, 2010 by Jerry F
	Fifth Step (Preview) I did a Fifth Step with my sponsor over last weekend. It's absolutely amazing how much better I feel. I sometimes really let myself believe that I am a terrible person that has done terrible things to other people and to myself. The Fifth Step really helped me to realize that I am not a terrible person...	White Rabbit	5	2401	May 7, 2010 by kitty
	Thank you! (Preview) I just want to thank everyone for the support over the past several days. Especially Kitty! You've been awesome! This is one wife who now feels empowered and not victimized. I've never felt so not-alone in this and am so grateful to have found this site. You have helped me go from feeling sorry for...	jimswife	4	1036	May 6, 2010 by kitty
	delial,denial,denial (Preview) hi family, dont write on here much,but with you ever day. just got back from the doc,s with ah,hes having trouble eating,coughing up gunk. she explains this is a typical alcoholic,s complaint,burning the esophagus,and having a hitus hernia at the bottom of it. she has a chat to him about AA,he says he...	ollie	5	767	May 6, 2010 by Andrea12
	new to this (Preview) Hi everybody, I am in a relationship w an addict. I know this site is mainly for alcoholics, but I don't know where else to turn. I began this relationship with knowledge that my bf had a history of drug abuse but I had no knowledge of this disease and therefore i thought this was something that was in his pa...	brittg0403	6	745	May 6, 2010 by Andrea12
	Overwhelmed... (Preview) I'm trying to focus soley on this program (which has been a God sent).... I'm starting to feel overwhelmed with setting boundaries, allowing A to see our kids w/o him taking advantage of the situation, detaching myself from his issues and focusing on mine = ) I'm sure I'm not the only one on her...	Hopeless	6	719	May 6, 2010 by Andrea12
	Tough decisions (long) (Preview) Thanks to al anon, I have learned the importance of taking care of ME. I have been a "caretaker" all of my life...took care of my mom through various bouts with alcohol and drugs...assumed all of the household responsibility when I was growing up due to mom working midnight shifts...it's...	kml26385	6	825	May 6, 2010 by kml26385
	hey everyone, new here (Preview) I have been reading the posts for quite awhile now and figured it was time to introduce myself. My situation is not really different than most others. Married for 18 years, two boys, 16 and 14. My husband has always drank but was always a responsible person. I used to party every weekend too, before havi...	macintosh	8	807	May 6, 2010 by maresie
	Hi, I am new here.... (Preview) Hello, my name is Debbie and I have been married to an alcoholic for 23 years. Is there such a thing as a functioning alcoholic? If there is, then my husband is one of them. He is very successful in his work and has been driving for so long drunk that he actually drives better than when he is sober! I have...	jensmom	17	1001	May 5, 2010 by Bettina
	Boundaries... (Preview) I'm on this setting my boundaries kick with the A = ) After finally getting a restraining order from him he knows I'm serious (at least I hope so)... After 3 weeks of not seeing or talking to one another I just allowed him to start seeing the children (not overnight) so obviously there is now some...	Hopeless	2	1260	May 5, 2010 by maresie
	What Is Emotional Detachment ? (Preview) To All The MIP family, I would like to get your feedback on "Emotional Detachment, and how you use it, or have used it in dealing with the alcoholic in your life. I was asked that question in a PM from a new member of the board. I answered the member with what I consider to be emotional detachment b...	RLC	9	5758	May 5, 2010 by ythannah
	Kids found drugs (Preview) Well, after everything I have been struggling with regarding my ABF... something else happens. My children were over at there father's house for weekend visitation. I went to pick them up on Sunday. When my teenage boys got in the car, my 15 year old said, "mom, I need to show you what I found in...	daisygirl	8	750	May 5, 2010 by maresie
	Frustrated with myself = ( (Preview) I'm sure I'm not the only one that has insecurity issues on this site but I want to share how I'm feeling about a situation regarding the A... I have distance myself with the A as far as him and I are concerned and only talk in regards to our daughter... I drop her off to him and pick her up so I know wh...	Hopeless	6	733	May 5, 2010 by maresie
	Frustrating behavior (Preview) My AH calls me to say how much he loves me and bla bla but that he's not gonna stop drinking, he's gonna keep it under control cause, as an alcoholic that he is, his body will need a little bit of alcohol. I had to stop myself from laughing long enough to say: That's the point. You are an alcoholic and your body...	Priscilla83	6	901	May 5, 2010 by maresie
	I don't know where to start or turn... (Preview) I've read through the message board before, just as a lurker, though. I thought I could "be strong" and deal with this as well as supporting my AH's sobriety. I was so wrong... I don't know where to begin, so I'll start here. My husband hit rock bottom right before Thanksgiving and starte...	jimswife	8	1112	May 4, 2010 by Jennifer
	REVISED May 9, 9pm Chat Room Business Meeting Agenda (Preview) Agenda Meeting opening with "The Serenity Prayer" March Meeting Minutes have not been submitted Review of Op meeting schedule -The current OP Meeting Schedule is as follows:AMMon. - Shimo/No altTues. - Doxie/No altWed. - Iona/No altThurs. - Doxie/No altFri. - Blendergirl/No altSat...	Courage	1	322	May 4, 2010 by belle1
	Step 3 - Step Work Board (Preview) http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42763	tlcate	0	460	May 4, 2010 by tlcate
	I put the phone down :) (Preview) My AH has a few mornings off for the next 2 weeks, and then he will be unemployed for a while during an intensive prep class to take the bar exam. I've found myself feeling a bit of fear and projecting. His last relapse into alcohol happened when he had mornings off and a lot of free time. There are also o...	White Rabbit	3	748	May 4, 2010 by Jerry F
	Tips on how to stop enabling... (Preview) Many times while trying to help, friends and family members actually make the situation worse by enabling the alcoholic.Here's some tips on how to stop enabling the alcoholic from comfortably continuing his current patterns:Cease doing anything that allows the alcoholic to continue their curr...	John	11	12503	May 4, 2010 by T
	my mental sickness (Preview) The major surgery was last Monday. So far it is fine. I will warn you, rotator cuff surgery is horribly painful and you should not be alone! Plus they make it a one day surgery. I had to go back to er the night I got out to get a pain shot! Never was talked to by the doctor, got zero post op directions! When I sobe...	lyndebi	4	594	May 4, 2010 by maresie
	Whether or not to attend wedding with alcoholic fiance? (Preview) I've been a part of my community's Alanon program for about nine months now and it has done nothing short of transforming my outlook on life and my situation. It seems like there are some really seasoned and knoweldgeable Alanon-ers here so I was hoping to get some insight on this looming event that's...	zhotdogs99	9	895	May 4, 2010 by maresie
	what is good for me? (Preview) After my ABF's recent relapse I wanted space. He could see I was detaching and was scared. He tried to manipulate me again. He pushed and promised all the same old stuff. He is attending meetings and is trying to sort his life out. He has only been sober aweek I went shopping yesterday and got angrey...	Tracy	7	808	May 4, 2010 by kitty
	The Lois W movie (Preview) I have to say I really loved the movie. I watched it with my husband the first time and with my son and his friend the second time. The second time I noticed something that I did not agree with and I don't think Alanoners agree with in this day and age. When Lois was introduced to Dr Bob's wife and the men said...	Gailey	18	3867	May 3, 2010 by barisax
	Need Advice (Preview) I don't know if you remember my first post from last week. My boyfriend is and alcoholic, and I kicked him out about a month ago, as I don't want my daughter to have to deal with this, and frankly, I can't deal with it anymore, either, especially being the daughter of an alcoholic. Well, A boyfriend volunt...	jettiesgirl	5	1008	May 3, 2010 by jettiesgirl
	Here he goes again.... (Preview) My ex moved to the same town the kids and I live in last summer. He's relapsed a few times since then, drinking in his rented room. He managed to land a job about six weeks ago, and is actually supposed to have insurance coverage through them starting today, covering all of us. In the past six years, h...	lmw	2	742	May 3, 2010 by maresie
	Cannot log into meeting (Preview) Hello I am having trouble logging into the online meetings - I keep getting errors can someone help - I didnt have this problem before Thanks	LIGHTBULB	2	855	May 3, 2010 by Mandy123
	May god grant us the serenity (Preview) Hello Friends, I am just wondering if all the bad luck ever ends....my son was involved in a car accident today....he seems to be ok just a concussion and bruised....however, he only had his car for about a month and it is totaled. I swear two steps forward and ten steps back.....my son has come such alo...	Andrea12	9	593	May 2, 2010 by shadow1
	He's still in control!!!! (sorry-long) (Preview) Background: -I told my AH to leave 4 weeks ago. -He finally "got it" about 2 weeks ago and went to stay with at his parents camp. -This week he calls to tell me he is getting an apartment. When I agreed I think he was very surprised. -I have spent this week like a load has been removed from my shou...	looking_for_peace	7	977	May 2, 2010 by adonaisgirl
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled meeting Monday morning as I have tests at the hospital and will not be able to return home in time to chair. Hoping someone may be able to step up for me. Love in recovery, Shimo (aka Jeri)	shimo	1	462	May 2, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Heartbreaking (Preview) Hi! I have just come back from a week-long conference. I had a brilliant time - took my son with me and he really relaxed for the 1st time in ages. He was issued with his own "guest" badge of which he was so proud. AH answered the phone to us twice a day (I had threatened to send the police round if...	Tattyhead	10	877	May 2, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Give an inch and they take a mile... (Preview) In a previous post I stated that I talked to the A in regards to seeing his daughter... Per my PFA order he is to get supervised visitation and give me $150 in child support.. When I came home I noticed he didn't leave me anything so I questioned him about this and he stated that he could only give me $75...	Hopeless	5	763	May 2, 2010 by tlcate
	That whole dog ordeal (Preview) Last time I posted I explained how my Ahusband(we're aeparated) was moving and buying my dream dog just to manipulate me. Well, he called and told me he was sending me pictures of dogs and bla bla. I asked are you buying us (us meaning me and Bianca) a dog? He replied No, I'm buying a dog for myself Ughhh I t...	Priscilla83	8	705	May 2, 2010 by xeno59
	Visiting a friend... a new kind of anxiety (Preview) I am visiting my old roommate this weekend who I have not seen for years. I am feeling that nervousness again - that I won't be accepted, I'll be judged. THis morning I read the Thought for Today from Hazelden and it was a reminder that I need not let the "old" feelings of codpendency and recove...	RunnerChick	2	511	May 2, 2010 by xeno59
	Grateful Al-Anon has taught me to PAUSE (Preview) I'm being asked to step in and take on a role of responsibility for something that truly is not my responsibility. It is a situation, however, where it may be for the good of someone. I don't want to go into the details of the situation here (saving that for my sponsor.) Ahh... the Al-Anon in me wants to say...	Aloha	5	1312	May 2, 2010 by tlcate
	Bringing A to meetings (Preview) Has anyone ever brought their A to an Al-Anon Meeting? If so what type of reaction did the A have?	Hopeless	12	866	May 2, 2010 by tlcate
	I can see the disease (Preview) My ABF has come out of a three week relapse. He has lots of consequences to face. Owes £1,500. Lost best friend, kids have detached from him, his mum is really depressed and I can not have a relationship I can see I am very sick too. We have had odd chat and he is really working the programme. He has foun...	Tracy	4	1335	May 1, 2010 by Jerry F
	Feeling Better (Preview) Hello, I think that I am better as the time goes on. I finally think that i can move on. My ex A still around, but he does not affect me as before. Now I have the choice to tell him to leave the house whenever i feel that it is getting to me. I still have issues like insecurities. No one will think that about me sin...	China	3	718	May 1, 2010 by ythannah
	still adjusting (Preview) The good news is that AH hasn't been drinking for over two months now. But we seem to be having trouble adjusting to the whole situation of him being sober. I want him to make some decisions as I'm tired of making all the decisions for the last year. He has a lot of projects and things going on, but when it co...	pineapple	4	793	May 1, 2010 by RLC
	May Chat Room Group Business Meeting Agenda (Preview) Agenda Meeting opening with "The Serenity Prayer"First Item: April Meeting Minutes Next Item: Review of Op meeting schedule -The current OP Meeting Schedule is as follows:AMMon. - Shimo/No altTues. - Doxie/No altWed. - Iona/No altThurs. - Doxie/No altFri. - Blendergirl/No altSat....	Courage	0	457	May 1, 2010 by Courage
	Encouraged = ) (Preview) A is a social drinker NEVER drinks at home only at bars... With that being said we have eliminated supervised visits (it was causing more problems, etc)... He is staying at a mutual friends house right now and with the help of my sister she is going to drop and pick up my daughter... The family...	Hopeless	2	372	May 1, 2010 by sdisnie
	Support.. (Preview) I just fought with myself for an hour on whether I should post this or not = / But.... I realize that I needed support especially from people that know what I'm talking about! I miss my 5 days of having a "normal" family.... Basically my life was based on a weekend of binging from th...	Hopeless	7	809	May 1, 2010 by sdisnie
	Addiction is addiction is addiction.... (Preview) The recent posts about the effects of 'pot' versus 'alcohol', remind me of others that have been debated on here in prior times..... Some examples: hard liquor vs. beer having an A spouse vs. having an A child vs. having an A parent binge users vs. everyday users alcohol vs. other drugs etc, etc.... I b...	canadianguy	6	1335	Apr 30, 2010 by tlcate
	I mean the world to him (Preview) After I left his house this morning, I got a text that said, "You mean the world to me can, we talk after work don't want to end this way" He said he was sorry for avoiding me, he was mad and was wrong for hurting me...he didn't want to hurt me. He said he has been struggling with things and would...	daisygirl	6	771	Apr 30, 2010 by Mattie
	Detox Deadly? (Preview) My ABF went to the doctor this week. Doc agreed with me and ordered tests to verify that ABF has most likely been suffering TIA's (mini strokes). He then proceeded to give him the death lecture and remind him of all the patients he has lost to this disease called alcholism. Bloated livers, failing organ...	FuzzyLogic	10	1234	Apr 30, 2010 by FuzzyLogic
	Sponsorship Question (Preview) Didn't want to hijack Hopeless's thread with my own question, so I'm putting it in a separate thread. I realize that I will need to do work with a sponsor to make real progress in my own recovery. Is it best to choose a sponsor from your home group? I ask because my home group is tiny (sometimes only 3 of us...	ythannah	10	765	Apr 30, 2010 by ythannah
	Had to file a PFA (Preview) My H came home drunk early Sunday morning and just verbally abusive. I told him he couldn't come in so he slept in his truck. About 8 AM sunday he came in and was so verbally abusive to me. The name calling, etc was horrible and in front of my 3 and 1 year old. He ended up punching me in the head and stomach. ...	Destynee	5	817	Apr 30, 2010 by abbyal
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.