The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to the chat room but no one was there so I am coming here to "talk" as I am hurting so much. As some of you have read before I have been going through this awful stuff we go through with my daughter who is 33 and has 2 kids. She has almost lost them to the courts several times and just recently we were sure she was going to loose them. They gave her one last chance and that was last week. Today, she is drunk again. I am sooo sad the kids will be so devastated they just got to where they started to believe again. She sounded unusually negative yesterday and I felt I should drive out to her house as she was trying to find a ride to a meeting. I did tell her we would take her if she couldn't find a ride. I felt it was her place to call and say, "couldn't find a lift could you take me." I knew she wouldn't ask as she hates to "bother" people. Go figure an A that's not a bother ANYway....... I just feel so crappy now! All the fear and worry we have went through over her possibly loosing these kids and to be given another chance and now this. I'm new to Alanon and did ask someone to sponsor me online due to physical limitations but we have had trouble connecting since I asked. Don't really know what I am doing so I came here to "share." I thank you all for listening and hope your day is going well.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I do understand about the issue of connecting and finding solace. For so many of us we come here in crisis and it takes a while to find help. I do know when I have been at my wits end I have called crisis lines and found some help from voicing my concerns there. I'm not sure if that is an option for you.
I have lived around alcoholics most of my life. Al anon has taught me many tools to deal with it. I am no longer over involved, heart broken and seething with frustration.
I am so sorry that this dreadful disease has taken hold in your family. Since there was no one in chat when you arrived you did the right thing by coming here and posting. I find that posting and reading the message board is very helpful when I am confused and in pain.
You are very aware that you are powerless over this disease and being powerless the best we can do is take good care of ourselves.
Please focus on yourself. Pray, Live one moment a a time, rest, eat, and remember you are not alone.
I will pray for you, your daughter and the children.
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 24th of May 2010 02:32:19 PM
Oh, (((Criket))) we never, ever, stop loving and worrying about our kids, do we? I think your daughter is very lucky to have you - she knows you are there when and if she needs you.
You don't say how old your grandchildren are but they have grandparents who care about them which is more than some kids have. Try to keep that contact whatever happens.
AS well as worrying about your daughter and her children, do take time to focus on you - you are important, too.
I am pleased you have found this board and the chat room - I have found both to be a life-saver when I am stressed and need somewhere to vent. Please come back and let us know how you are you now have a whole MIP family caring about you.
Keeping you and your family in my prayers and thoughts.
You did the right thing for yourself Cricket...you can't do much for your daughter; ouch!! The courts know the percentages of success and failure. They give more chances for lots of reason and only one is maybe the alcoholic will have a "white light" experience about getting and staying sober (what everybody wants) and being responsible. They also know the power of this addiction...This is a fatal disease, if not arrested by total abstinance the alcoholic goes insane and/or dies.
I never thought my exwife would survive the drinking. That she did is and was a miracle...stunning one. So the part where the stunning stuff happens is all about the surrender and abandonment of those involved to a power greater than them- selves. You are doing it and your daughter needs to practice it daily or she will have the losses that most practicing alcoholics earn...everything without exception. Child Protective Services would just love to see your daughter sober. The judges and police would also love it as would her community and children and mother.
Let us pray that she arrives at that hard hard bottom she needs to cause her to stop.
Thank You sooooo much for your comforting words of HOPE! I am surprised she is still alive but your note makes me realize I am NOT alone. I am very grateful I found this place to come when it hurts so much. Thank you for praying for us
ANYway....... I just feel so crappy now! All the fear and worry we have went through over her possibly loosing these kids and to be given another chance and now this. I'm new to Alanon and did ask someone to sponsor me online due to physical limitations but we have had trouble connecting since I asked. Don't really know what I am doing so I came here to "share." I thank you all for listening and hope your day is going well.