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I just found out this morning that I may have two Alcoholics in my home. I have known about the human A for 18 years now. But this morning I found two Natural Lite beer cans (my wifes drink of choice) chewed up in the computer room. My one year old Black Lab Ellie it seems has become addicted. I found all the pieces so I know none were swallowed. My AW never drinks in front of me, her choice, out of my control. In the18 years we have been married I have never mentioned a single word to her about her drinking. I found out the night I went to my first f2f meeting that was the "only" thing I had done right. Back to my problem, my favorite slogan is "Don't React", tonight I am going to use another slogan, "I Will React". Everything has a place. Empty beer cans have a place. The trash can is their place. Not hidden out of my sight, for what ever reason, so Ellie can find them, chew on them, and maybe die from one of them. That "ain't" going to happen. In Doggie Al-Anon there are only 2 C's, I didn't cause it and I can't cure it------but I can control it, and I will, you can chisel that one in stone.
If this wasn't so serious it would be humorous. Alcoholism affecting not only the spouses and children, but also the dogs in the alcoholics life. Dang, Ellie an alcoholic at such a young age!! I already attend two Al-anon meeting each week. If I can't nip this in the bud, I guess I have to look for a Doggie f2f meeting. Who would have thought it.
LOL I understand .... my last dog was an avid beer and Mt Dew fan. He could find a few drips of either from rooms away. Luckily he did not try to rip thru the cans, 2 liter bottles yes! Now, Sully my moostiff on the other hand does not care for alcohol or soda, he does like the occasional fruit drink. What he really loves is alcoholics in particular and anyone who has been drinking in general. I can only guess that living with my xAh at his worst times as a puppy did something to him, I am grateful he likes them. At 186 pounds if something about alcohol triggered a growling menace it would be far worse than the slobbering "OOH I love you" lick licvk lick, "I'm gonna sit on you ok?" reaction I have to clean up after now LOL If you find that Canine AlAnon meeting please let me know
I always thought that dogs were more like codependents and cats were like addicts. Perhaps they being good codependents were trying to hide the cans from you so you wouldn't get upset at your wife's drinking. They were onlty trying to please you and help you. They were chewing up the evidence because they don't know any better. Codependents true to form.
Seriously, remember you have to be the pack leader. These are the two you can control. Much love and blessings to you and your family. Kiss the doggies. I know how important they are to you.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
RLC, My god that we had when I was a teen would knock over the neighbors beer can so she could have some. I always told my mom I thought she needed AA :)
My ex would leave his pot around the house and one day our dog found it and ate it. He was so angry and I was so scared. I didn't know how I was going to tell the vet I thought my dog O.D. on pot. Thankfully she was okay, but he learned to keep his stuff up.
I am reminded of that page in courage to change about the pigeons doing what pigeons do. The same goes for our animals :).
I am glad that Ellie is okay.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
I'm not going to go into specifics but the ex A's actions affected my dogs a great deal. In fact I took over the care of them and when he was supposed to pick up the beagle I offered to keep her (which of course he agreed to).
I think the issue that is so hard for me still is to see how ill the alcoholic was that he could directly damage the pet he adored. I took it all so personally and felt incredibly self righteous about it. The self righteousness was good in that it got me to act and take the dogs but after a while I had to look and see he was absolutely out of his mind by then. For him to get better would have been a massive undertaking and he didn't want to. The basic bottom line was that the A didn't want to get better and everyone and everything around him suffered. I had to accept that and not be eaten alive by it.
I had my discussion, took HP with me Hot Rod, thanks. When I mentioned in my post that you could chisel it in stone I only meant the conversation would take place. It did, and I explained it to her the same as I would have wanted it explained to me. I have always been a big believer in--It's not what you say, but how you say it. I had my Al-Anon shoes on at the time.
Karilynn--chewing up evidence--I guess now Ellie can go back to her first addiction--chewing up my shoes.
Mandy, Right page 74 in CTC. They don't drink (chew) because of you or me, but because they are alcoholics (dogs). But only the first two C's hold true in doggie Al-Anon.
Jennifer I'm not going to have to look for a Canine Al-Anon meeting, or even send Ellie to rehab. My wife loves Ellie also so--all is well that ends well.
Maresie--All very true.
Ellie appreciates everyones ES&H
Thanks and HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by RLC on Thursday 13th of May 2010 12:18:51 PM
-- Edited by RLC on Thursday 13th of May 2010 12:20:56 PM
My dogs have no idea what alcohol is, as there is none in my home.
Despite this, my younger one reacts negatively when my ADad comes over reeking of booze and refuses to go near him. Maybe it smells really bad to them, with their ultra-keen noses. One of my former dogs had basically the same reaction, except that he was more aggressive and went for attack rather than backing away.
Funny, in reading the initial post, I immediately thought that I'd have dumped either of my XABFs instantly if their behaviour had ever endangered the dogs' wellbeing. Hope I can some day achieve the same sense of worth for my own self-protection.
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Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could... Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
I rarely drink at home anymore but when I did I used to have to take my beer with me if I left the room or I would come back to find my dog slurping it. So glad to hear that Ellie is OK, and won't have to go to rehab. Hugs to you and your dogs.
I am pretty sure my dogs are ACA. All are rescue dogs and definitly have abandonment and trust issues. We don't have any booze in the house so they just get lots of love. I remember my one uncle tried to make my old dog drink beer. Dog didn't want any part of it and my Uncle says " geez what is he in AA or something?". Can you imagine someone being offended by a dog not drinking a beer? Glad you dog is okay Blessings
Imagine a Parrot getting drunk. Repeats 50 times. I'm drunk. I'm drunk. Next morning: Repeats 50 times. I Am going to throw up.
Anyway RLC, why don't you take your dog to an Al-Anon meeting with you. Just tell the people, that your dog needs to recover to, as he drank all the beer in your home. Oh, and make sure doggy reads and not eats the 12 steps.
PS: You have to hide the beer cans, so doggy won't drink.
