Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Festfan · Festfan

Hi new Al Anon Friends... I have been thinking a lot about what to say to my ABF the next time I see him (uncertain when that will be) about what I have been going through and what I have learned. I am trying to figure out my boundries for him. I'm fairly certain that I will break up with him, but I want to do th...

Debilyn · Debilyn

So depressed I am angry at everyone and everything. Migraine, broke my same rib again. Had a bone dens test. That was very painful laying on my back. Pelvis is at its finest pain again. four thing toaster is now two,dryer still not fixed, kitchen faucet died, stupid plastic parts, recliner is stuck u...

miss lucy · miss lucy

thank god i have found this site...i am so upset and confused i dont know what to do. 4 days ago i left my heavy drinking, cannabis smoking husband of 7 years as i had reached the stage that i no longer felt safe with him. the police were called after his latest outburst which involved a knife and taunting m...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

This situation is not related to my A but, to a program female friend. She is in the program, he does not actively work a program but does attend meetings with her occasionally. Her husband asked me if I would be willing to talk to him about addiction and the way it has hurt his life and how it is affecting hi...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

We have been speaking to each other. He asks me for a hug. We had a long talk the other night about how great our relationship was when we were both working a program. We both admitted that we were in a self-loathing funk for alot of last year, wishing the other person could drag us out of our self-imposed mi...

Jozie · Jozie

Again, One of our own is in need of some Strength... Hope... & Love.... Shellyj123 has more to handle, And I would just ask that you all give her some if you have it to give, I'm sure she will update, but just asking you all to spare a Prayer or two for her health, and a big hug ;) THANKS MIP.... Jozie

pineapple · pineapple

I've been coming here for a couple weeks now and have found this site and the people on it to be a great help. I thought I was learning detachment- I quit nagging about his drinking, I had no problem leaving him passed out on the patio until he woke up, letting him go without eating when he was too drunk to j...

meagain · meagain

I have been divorced from my A/Ex Hubby for about 28 yrs. My 3 sons were about 6,7,8 at the time. So it has been MANY years. The thing I don't understand is I have been remarried to a great man for 23 years....but my 3 sons are so much like their dad. I guess its all in the 'genes' They are now 34/35 and36. My big...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A is going to rehab in Florida next Thursday. He thanked me for my help and said that " he hoped he could take it from here." He also said that he wasn't ready before, but that he was ready now. I wished him the best. I am working hard at detaching. My therapist sorta yelled at me yes...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well I went back to the Dr and found out some more less than favorable news-the Endo they took out, all the lesions were all over my bladder. The good news is that they found it and removed what they could see and there is no cancer there, the bad news is that I'm told the lesion stage is the last/final stage...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I find myself being overwhelmed by fear and powerlessness. I still ache for his love and comfort. I find myself attempting to ween this in the moments I can. When I get it, I am more peaceful. But then in the empty spaces, the fear returns. I hold on and it hurts. I struggle with letting go of HOPE for TODAY a...

Tracy · Tracy

I have pulled away from my ABF after his slip in Nov. He went striaght back to AA but has needed to focus on himself which I understand but if I am truthful I was not working my programme and was resentful that I was left again, just dropped because of the disease. The more I have withdrawn he has chased, I j...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I don't mean to double dip today ... but I'm posting instead of texting/calling. I feel very alone and sad right now about our relationship. A mutual friend sent me a message that said 'Don't forget to breathe'. I feel ticked off by this because I did not tell her what was going on and for some reason I feel...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

I just wondered if any others on this board have experienced problems with what to tell children about alcoholic parent My son is 29 but with a learning disability which means he functions around the age of 12 emotionally. He has witnessed his father at his worst and also the rows beteween his parents....

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

I need to stop snooping. Is doing me no good at all. This is my addiction, snooping into my exAH (wow that feels so strange to say...ex) facebook, emails, phones..you name it.. I know I have to stop cause everytime I find more and more hurtful things, but it's like a compulsion. I just miss him so much I fee...

charna · charna

Hi everyone - I would appreciate any advice or direction someone can point me in. Thank you. My older brother and his wife, I fear, have both become alcoholics. I knew they drank quite a bit over the past several years but now they have both lost their jobs. He is borrowing money from me and for the first t...

Gailey · Gailey

while feeling compassion for the A son I feel sadness all the time. When I feel anger I think I do not feel that sadness. watching him go down this path of distruction is devastating, even on days that he doesn't use. it is so hard not to try and offer some assistance or try to help him find a way out of the deep...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

This response was sent to me from John, who responded to my post "Am I asking for Trouble" It is really one of the first times I remember hearing anyone talk about moving on past one relationship in peace and finding love again with someone new. It really made me hopeful and offered me ESH f...

skyy · skyy

Im 17 yrs old, and my mothers been an alcoholic now , my whole 'xxx' life! She was sober for 9 months last yr!, with the help of AA meetings, and now shes been slipping again... since she dismissed going to her meetings. I worry about my mom everyday of my life, and im sick of having to worry about my 45 yr old...

wgredgray · wgredgray

There was a time when I would have never imagined I would end up with someone as self destructive as me. I build these great castles only to tear them down. Just as he did. I never quite understood why. I have not only been resentful of him but jealous... Here's a guy who by all accounts is the male version...

Gailey · Gailey

son called his ex wife today and she called me. she said he sounds so depressed and was breaking down on the phone with her. I tried not to call for the longest time but just couldn't hold off. I didn't tell him she called me but you could tell he had been crying. He said he has a head cold. I just needed to hear t...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Goodmorning Family, No work today. This is a party day here at the house. Yesterday I got a miracle. I do not hear well. Actually I had a hearing test on Monday and the result was a pretty profound hearing loss. Well I went to the doctor yesterday and he put tubes in both of my ears. When we were walkin...

wp · wp

"One of my character defects is to respond in kind to behavior that is directed at me...to react to rudeness with more rudeness. .....I do not have to accept unacceptable behavior; I can begin by refusing to accept it from myself. I can choose to behave courteously and with dignity.....If I am...

maresie · maresie

Just recently a new guy started where I work. I have no romantic interest in him. I sometimes travel to work to and from with him. What I'm seeing these days is that my alcoholic radar is up there. One sure sign for me is someone who is too good to be true. He sails through things. He broke up a relation...

Ness · Ness

So..... all over Xmas and New Year Ive been invited back on the merry- go- round.My Ason found an enabler who he spent the holiday period with. This other person, newly relapsed A, took pity on him because he couldnt be with us, his family, over this period. My son has spent the last few weeks crying in his...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Let me first explain where I am.... I've dedicated my New Year to my recovery and working it to the best of my ability. I was even asked to be a sponsor and was overjoyed that someone else believed in me as well, and that is going great! I'm doing everything I can to work my program and normally do one F2F ...

Sam72 · Sam72

I'm new to this and I'm having difficulty understanding some of the abbreviations, can anyone help me with this please. I would really appreciate it, Thanx

wispythewolf · wispythewolf

I am the mother of a 21 year old son who is an addict. He was sentenced today on drug charges and is doing 45 days in jail. I am reaching out because I am in no condition to attend a real time group tonight but feel the need to get help for myself.

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I want to thank all of you for responding to my post yesterday in reference to attending a meeting at the same location as EXABF. I have decided, that for now, for today, I won't be attempting to do so and will just be sticking with my Friday night home group. I realized after thinking about it probally WAY...

wyola · wyola

I just want to already say thank the Earth for support groups! Even though I only started seriously reading and acknowledging alcoholism and dealing with someone who can't stop, I have some tools to deal with this and have some sort of relief. By ABF didn't meet me to say he doesn't need me to interfe...

Sam72 · Sam72

Hi, I just joined this site today, My partner is an Alcoholic and I think I cope very well with his illness, We have recently found out that his sister is an alcoholic and my heart is breaking for her, her husband walked out just before christmas, she is far from family and friends, I wish my partner and I co...

kmarty · kmarty

For me its when I have fear and worry.

Raven68 · Raven68

I am disabled and can't get to f2f meeting. I am looking for a sponsor. My mother who I live with is an alcholic and addicted to my prescription pain pills. She has a dui and breathalisor in her car. She stayed sober while wearing ankle monitor. Now it off and she stays drunk

Festfan · Festfan

Hi there, I am new to this forum just found it yesterday and have been reading it for hours in all of my free (and not so free) time. I am the adult daughter of an alcoholic lived with the knowledge that my mom drank too much for years, but have only really opened my eyes that she couldnt control it this year,...

Jozie · Jozie

Most of my Life, since about 8 up, (Parents Seperated then) I have wore this Shell... I guess for most ACOA it is a Protective shell that "I" felt was keeping me from getting hurt by others... But in reality, it has done nothing but bring me pain... I am an Office Manager for a Company my Husband...

seweasy · seweasy

I'm new to this al anon board, and al anon in general. I would just like to share how I am currently doing considering I left the addict in my life. On Christmas Eve I broke up with my addict boyfriend of 5 years and have been doing awesome! I mean of course I'm still sad and miss the "good ol days"...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I had to laugh in spite of myself yesterday....I got a digital picture frame LAST Christmas and due to my inability to function in an electronic world, I never used it. Tried once, got agitated and put it away for the year-lol. I love photography and taking pictures of things/places morso than peopl...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Just need a little vent I am so down. I was transferring birthday dates from old calendar onto new. Noticed in Jan last year AH had appointment with doctor about his alcoholism. I went with him and listened while he earnestly told doc how he really wanted to give up drinking. Well, failed de-toxes foll...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

This pain is gut wrenching. Deep.Everything reminds me of him. I continue to act like an addict myself, still texting, calling, reaching out for that validation and love from someone who has always rejected me. In some layer of my mind I believe that if he would just WANT me back, WANT to be with me - that...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Forgot to tell you, they moved A from his cell not an hour after I called his counselor! I could not believe it! They must have known it was a stupid situation. He told me they asked him if his family or anyone had called or anything? I had not told him I was doing this. He told them no. I asked him well what happ...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I am trying to tune into the ways in which I am talking to myself and to BE COMPASSIONATE. Give love to my inner child. The obsession consumes me sometimes. It is an addiction pull. It is automatic - the way I reach out to him for comfort and validation. I KEEP doing it. People tell me I will continue to do it,...

wyola · wyola

My ABF will not talk to me right now because the last two times we drank together I knew I didn't want to and couldn't handle it. We decided to hang out with our friends and then meet up later...by the time we met up he had been passed out on the bar for almost an hour. His friends know this is getting old, but...

bernadette158 · bernadette158

I've been friends with this man who has been in AA for five years. We met fours years ago and were just friends for three years. However I didn't know he was in the program until about a year and a half ago. I was aware the whole time that he didn't drink but I didn't know why. However he did tell me his...

abbyal · abbyal

LIVE AND LET LIVE THE first part of this slogan tell us to live, However living before Al-Anon meant worrying about the alcoholic , obsessing about our problems and trying to find perfect solutions--- abandoning ourselves in the process. Were we living , or were we allowing people and situations to...

Festfan · Festfan

So, the event that triggered me to turn to Al Anon and begin to accept that I was powerless was (not surprisingly) New Years Day. I was so angry about how my ABF behaved in front of my friends at NYE that I didnt even want to see him for the rest of the weekend. I was laying in bed, thinking of what to say to get...

fishinmama · fishinmama

I spoke with an old dear friend over Christmas. She shared with me that her husband was drinking too much and it was getting difficult for her to handle her situation. I have spoken to her about alanon in the past although I don't think she has introduced herself to it yet. I advised her of this message...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Why is it that I have such a hard time picking up the phone and calling my Al-Anon friends when times get tough? I'll call my parents, my cousin, my friends. . . but not my program friends. I know that they are the ones I SHOULD be calling, but I just can't bring myself to do it. WHY? Any suggestions on how to ge...

Lindajean · Lindajean

Newbie here but not to the alanon program. Moved back to the midwest because of lonliness. Thought living next to the parents and helping them out whould be good for me. Dad is active alcoholic and mom is bigtime enabler. I basically moved back because I ran from another alcoholic marraige. When i get...

serching-sandy · serching-sandy

But how can I avoid the fight.. I have talked to my AH several times about going to a f2f meeting, and everytime it ends with me being blamed (nothing new there) guilt trip.. or him getting drunk. I know it is next to impossible to have a conversation with him. but I don't want me going to cause termoil for my...

AlaMom · AlaMom

will not take me where the hand of God cannot protect me. As I sit at my desk at work, our company is about 15 minutes away from an announcement that they are closing the doors. I am saddened by this because I can honestly say that of all the jobs I have had I really enjoyed this one and loved to come to work. I...

cdngirl · cdngirl

AH and I have spent days talking about separation. I have been so unhappy. It's been almost 6 months since I started al-anon and I'm trying to detach from his drinking and find my boundaries. But deep down I just feel that he can never be the partner that I want and need. I want to have children one day,...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

We had our very first step meeting Friday night-which I lead and it was awesome! We took turns reading Step One from Paths to Recovery and then at the end I "passed the basket" so to speak (it was more like a bad-lol) with all the questions from the end of the step and everyone picked a question...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I am in so much pain that I am ready to surrender to the program and to all the suggestions - yet AGAIN. I am powerless over my exabf. I am powerless over my disease, my addiction to him and my NEED for him in my life. I'm powerless over his struggles. When I THINK I am in control or when I try to be in control - my l...

frustratedinop · frustratedinop

I am sitting alone at the dining room table, while my B is at a bar, reading the previous chats and crying wondering are there any happy endings or if I stay in this relationship am I going to be in a vicious cycle that will never end.......

pineapple · pineapple

Being new here I'm learning so much. but I also have many questions. One question I've wondered about...Does your A partner know about your participation in al anon and that you are working on your own recovery? I haven't mentioned it to my A but it seems he must have noticed a change in my attitude (no mo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Happy New Year everyone! This is the first time I have been on this site since the new year started & since I have gotten on at all! Today happens to be my 24th Alanon birthday; I am so grateful for all the years I have been in alanon & have met some wonderful loving & caring people including al...

seweasy · seweasy

Hi, I'm new to this message board. I have been in a relationship with my ex bf for going on 5 years. I'm only 25 years old and recently found out he has been addicted to oxycontin for the past 6 months. I always had a gut feeling he was on something but he always denied it which made me crazy! I found out he h...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family))))), Pipers and I wanted to take a moment and wish you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you all had wonderful holidays. I'm sorry I've been away for awhile. Work was chaotic and I was spending time w/a friend who has been going through a very difficult time. Between that, work and the h...

jasobel · jasobel

Hi, just asked someone to be my sponsor but not sure what that means? This is her first experience at being a sponsor - so we are both new to the relationship. Do I call her to check in? Does she call me? Can I call her when I need to talk? We have set up a regular weekly meeting time to go over the steps, but I am n...

cbcali · cbcali

My husband is in recovery - my 8 year old knows he can't drink alcohol. When we went out to eat he said he was drinking beer, it was root beer. I told her it was root beer. She knows he isn't supposed to drink alcohol. Later when we were home she asked, "what will happen to daddy if he drinks alcohol?...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Boundries vs. Control vs. Ultimatums (Preview) Hi new Al Anon Friends... I have been thinking a lot about what to say to my ABF the next time I see him (uncertain when that will be) about what I have been going through and what I have learned. I am trying to figure out my boundries for him. I'm fairly certain that I will break up with him, but I want to do th...	Festfan	12	3515	Jan 9, 2010 by blender_girl
	It's broken I'm broken (Preview) So depressed I am angry at everyone and everything. Migraine, broke my same rib again. Had a bone dens test. That was very painful laying on my back. Pelvis is at its finest pain again. four thing toaster is now two,dryer still not fixed, kitchen faucet died, stupid plastic parts, recliner is stuck u...	Debilyn	10	1007	Jan 9, 2010 by blender_girl
	help me please....am at my wits end (Preview) thank god i have found this site...i am so upset and confused i dont know what to do. 4 days ago i left my heavy drinking, cannabis smoking husband of 7 years as i had reached the stage that i no longer felt safe with him. the police were called after his latest outburst which involved a knife and taunting m...	miss lucy	11	1080	Jan 9, 2010 by Mattie
	How to handle this situation...?? (Preview) This situation is not related to my A but, to a program female friend. She is in the program, he does not actively work a program but does attend meetings with her occasionally. Her husband asked me if I would be willing to talk to him about addiction and the way it has hurt his life and how it is affecting hi...	RunnerChick	8	993	Jan 8, 2010 by nmike
	Don't want to give this TOO much thought... (Preview) We have been speaking to each other. He asks me for a hug. We had a long talk the other night about how great our relationship was when we were both working a program. We both admitted that we were in a self-loathing funk for alot of last year, wishing the other person could drag us out of our self-imposed mi...	RunnerChick	5	909	Jan 8, 2010 by nmike
	Prayers & Strength Needed... (Preview) Again, One of our own is in need of some Strength... Hope... & Love.... Shellyj123 has more to handle, And I would just ask that you all give her some if you have it to give, I'm sure she will update, but just asking you all to spare a Prayer or two for her health, and a big hug ;) THANKS MIP.... Jozie	Jozie	2	878	Jan 8, 2010 by maire rua
	how far does detachment go? (Preview) I've been coming here for a couple weeks now and have found this site and the people on it to be a great help. I thought I was learning detachment- I quit nagging about his drinking, I had no problem leaving him passed out on the patio until he woke up, letting him go without eating when he was too drunk to j...	pineapple	9	988	Jan 8, 2010 by woopsadaisy
	No respect (Preview) I have been divorced from my A/Ex Hubby for about 28 yrs. My 3 sons were about 6,7,8 at the time. So it has been MANY years. The thing I don't understand is I have been remarried to a great man for 23 years....but my 3 sons are so much like their dad. I guess its all in the 'genes' They are now 34/35 and36. My big...	meagain	5	1039	Jan 8, 2010 by maresie
	Rehab (Preview) Well, the A is going to rehab in Florida next Thursday. He thanked me for my help and said that " he hoped he could take it from here." He also said that he wasn't ready before, but that he was ready now. I wished him the best. I am working hard at detaching. My therapist sorta yelled at me yes...	Codependent	3	1043	Jan 8, 2010 by kmarty
	The hamsters in my head are taking over today!!!~ESH desperately needed today (Preview) Well I went back to the Dr and found out some more less than favorable news-the Endo they took out, all the lesions were all over my bladder. The good news is that they found it and removed what they could see and there is no cancer there, the bad news is that I'm told the lesion stage is the last/final stage...	shellyj123	3	901	Jan 8, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Powerlessness and Obsession - just sharing... (Preview) I find myself being overwhelmed by fear and powerlessness. I still ache for his love and comfort. I find myself attempting to ween this in the moments I can. When I get it, I am more peaceful. But then in the empty spaces, the fear returns. I hold on and it hurts. I struggle with letting go of HOPE for TODAY a...	RunnerChick	6	1024	Jan 8, 2010 by jasobel
	is it worth it (Preview) I have pulled away from my ABF after his slip in Nov. He went striaght back to AA but has needed to focus on himself which I understand but if I am truthful I was not working my programme and was resentful that I was left again, just dropped because of the disease. The more I have withdrawn he has chased, I j...	Tracy	5	785	Jan 8, 2010 by maresie
	Posting instead of calling/texting (Preview) I don't mean to double dip today ... but I'm posting instead of texting/calling. I feel very alone and sad right now about our relationship. A mutual friend sent me a message that said 'Don't forget to breathe'. I feel ticked off by this because I did not tell her what was going on and for some reason I feel...	RunnerChick	9	1069	Jan 8, 2010 by RunnerChick
	Talking to children about alcoholic father (Preview) I just wondered if any others on this board have experienced problems with what to tell children about alcoholic parent My son is 29 but with a learning disability which means he functions around the age of 12 emotionally. He has witnessed his father at his worst and also the rows beteween his parents....	Tattyhead	2	1475	Jan 8, 2010 by Jen
	Not good at all (Preview) I need to stop snooping. Is doing me no good at all. This is my addiction, snooping into my exAH (wow that feels so strange to say...ex) facebook, emails, phones..you name it.. I know I have to stop cause everytime I find more and more hurtful things, but it's like a compulsion. I just miss him so much I fee...	Priscilla83	2	956	Jan 7, 2010 by Festfan
	First time here (Preview) Hi everyone - I would appreciate any advice or direction someone can point me in. Thank you. My older brother and his wife, I fear, have both become alcoholics. I knew they drank quite a bit over the past several years but now they have both lost their jobs. He is borrowing money from me and for the first t...	charna	3	794	Jan 7, 2010 by charna
	compassion versus anger (Preview) while feeling compassion for the A son I feel sadness all the time. When I feel anger I think I do not feel that sadness. watching him go down this path of distruction is devastating, even on days that he doesn't use. it is so hard not to try and offer some assistance or try to help him find a way out of the deep...	Gailey	4	1262	Jan 7, 2010 by Jerry F
	Letting Go and moving on to a new love-(for those of you who missed it) (Preview) This response was sent to me from John, who responded to my post "Am I asking for Trouble" It is really one of the first times I remember hearing anyone talk about moving on past one relationship in peace and finding love again with someone new. It really made me hopeful and offered me ESH f...	shellyj123	4	882	Jan 7, 2010 by Jozie
	whats left to say!? (Preview) Im 17 yrs old, and my mothers been an alcoholic now , my whole 'xxx' life! She was sober for 9 months last yr!, with the help of AA meetings, and now shes been slipping again... since she dismissed going to her meetings. I worry about my mom everyday of my life, and im sick of having to worry about my 45 yr old...	skyy	21	1095	Jan 7, 2010 by barbara lewis
	when the Alcoholic gets help...then what (Preview) There was a time when I would have never imagined I would end up with someone as self destructive as me. I build these great castles only to tear them down. Just as he did. I never quite understood why. I have not only been resentful of him but jealous... Here's a guy who by all accounts is the male version...	wgredgray	7	906	Jan 7, 2010 by maresie
	having a very rough day (Preview) son called his ex wife today and she called me. she said he sounds so depressed and was breaking down on the phone with her. I tried not to call for the longest time but just couldn't hold off. I didn't tell him she called me but you could tell he had been crying. He said he has a head cold. I just needed to hear t...	Gailey	6	969	Jan 7, 2010 by Debilyn
	What a miracle!!!! (Preview) Goodmorning Family, No work today. This is a party day here at the house. Yesterday I got a miracle. I do not hear well. Actually I had a hearing test on Monday and the result was a pretty profound hearing loss. Well I went to the doctor yesterday and he put tubes in both of my ears. When we were walkin...	fishinmama	4	859	Jan 7, 2010 by RunnerChick
	Courtesy (Preview) "One of my character defects is to respond in kind to behavior that is directed at me...to react to rudeness with more rudeness. .....I do not have to accept unacceptable behavior; I can begin by refusing to accept it from myself. I can choose to behave courteously and with dignity.....If I am...	wp	3	1028	Jan 7, 2010 by tea2
	the al anon radar (Preview) Just recently a new guy started where I work. I have no romantic interest in him. I sometimes travel to work to and from with him. What I'm seeing these days is that my alcoholic radar is up there. One sure sign for me is someone who is too good to be true. He sails through things. He broke up a relation...	maresie	5	2060	Jan 7, 2010 by maresie
	Knock Knock......insanity calling. (Preview) So..... all over Xmas and New Year Ive been invited back on the merry- go- round.My Ason found an enabler who he spent the holiday period with. This other person, newly relapsed A, took pity on him because he couldnt be with us, his family, over this period. My son has spent the last few weeks crying in his...	Ness	4	1028	Jan 7, 2010 by Ness
	Am I asking for trouble???? Am I strong enough in my recovery to risk it all again? (Preview) Let me first explain where I am.... I've dedicated my New Year to my recovery and working it to the best of my ability. I was even asked to be a sponsor and was overjoyed that someone else believed in me as well, and that is going great! I'm doing everything I can to work my program and normally do one F2F ...	shellyj123	9	1295	Jan 7, 2010 by John
	help with abreviations (Preview) I'm new to this and I'm having difficulty understanding some of the abbreviations, can anyone help me with this please. I would really appreciate it, Thanx	Sam72	3	960	Jan 7, 2010 by Sam72
	I am new here and a basket case (Preview) I am the mother of a 21 year old son who is an addict. He was sentenced today on drug charges and is doing 45 days in jail. I am reaching out because I am in no condition to attend a real time group tonight but feel the need to get help for myself.	wispythewolf	4	981	Jan 7, 2010 by Ness
	I Decided not to do it~ (Preview) I want to thank all of you for responding to my post yesterday in reference to attending a meeting at the same location as EXABF. I have decided, that for now, for today, I won't be attempting to do so and will just be sticking with my Friday night home group. I realized after thinking about it probally WAY...	shellyj123	3	859	Jan 7, 2010 by Festfan
	first steps, already providing some relief (Preview) I just want to already say thank the Earth for support groups! Even though I only started seriously reading and acknowledging alcoholism and dealing with someone who can't stop, I have some tools to deal with this and have some sort of relief. By ABF didn't meet me to say he doesn't need me to interfe...	wyola	2	612	Jan 7, 2010 by Festfan
	I need advice (Preview) Hi, I just joined this site today, My partner is an Alcoholic and I think I cope very well with his illness, We have recently found out that his sister is an alcoholic and my heart is breaking for her, her husband walked out just before christmas, she is far from family and friends, I wish my partner and I co...	Sam72	7	1183	Jan 6, 2010 by Sam72
	how do you know when you need a meeting? (Preview) For me its when I have fear and worry.	kmarty	9	1101	Jan 6, 2010 by ythannah
	Looking for sponsor (Preview) I am disabled and can't get to f2f meeting. I am looking for a sponsor. My mother who I live with is an alcholic and addicted to my prescription pain pills. She has a dui and breathalisor in her car. She stayed sober while wearing ankle monitor. Now it off and she stays drunk	Raven68	0	967	Jan 6, 2010 by ImFree2004
	Another holiday newbie with an ABF - trying to figure out to stay or leave... (Preview) Hi there, I am new to this forum just found it yesterday and have been reading it for hours in all of my free (and not so free) time. I am the adult daughter of an alcoholic lived with the knowledge that my mom drank too much for years, but have only really opened my eyes that she couldnt control it this year,...	Festfan	18	1213	Jan 6, 2010 by maresie
	Self Beatings...ESH would be a Blessing..... (Preview) Most of my Life, since about 8 up, (Parents Seperated then) I have wore this Shell... I guess for most ACOA it is a Protective shell that "I" felt was keeping me from getting hurt by others... But in reality, it has done nothing but bring me pain... I am an Office Manager for a Company my Husband...	Jozie	4	1172	Jan 6, 2010 by maresie
	Feeling really good! (Preview) I'm new to this al anon board, and al anon in general. I would just like to share how I am currently doing considering I left the addict in my life. On Christmas Eve I broke up with my addict boyfriend of 5 years and have been doing awesome! I mean of course I'm still sad and miss the "good ol days"...	seweasy	4	1048	Jan 6, 2010 by wyola
	My VCR still blinks 12:00~The perfectonist in me is dying:) (Preview) I had to laugh in spite of myself yesterday....I got a digital picture frame LAST Christmas and due to my inability to function in an electronic world, I never used it. Tried once, got agitated and put it away for the year-lol. I love photography and taking pictures of things/places morso than peopl...	shellyj123	3	1287	Jan 6, 2010 by hotrod
	Not so happy new year (Preview) Just need a little vent I am so down. I was transferring birthday dates from old calendar onto new. Noticed in Jan last year AH had appointment with doctor about his alcoholism. I went with him and listened while he earnestly told doc how he really wanted to give up drinking. Well, failed de-toxes foll...	Tattyhead	7	869	Jan 6, 2010 by maresie
	Give me strength and take away this pain (Preview) This pain is gut wrenching. Deep.Everything reminds me of him. I continue to act like an addict myself, still texting, calling, reaching out for that validation and love from someone who has always rejected me. In some layer of my mind I believe that if he would just WANT me back, WANT to be with me - that...	RunnerChick	11	1148	Jan 6, 2010 by maresie
	Update on that murderer with A (Preview) Forgot to tell you, they moved A from his cell not an hour after I called his counselor! I could not believe it! They must have known it was a stupid situation. He told me they asked him if his family or anyone had called or anything? I had not told him I was doing this. He told them no. I asked him well what happ...	Debilyn	1	809	Jan 6, 2010 by maresie
	Obsession and Self Compassion AND One day at a time. (Preview) I am trying to tune into the ways in which I am talking to myself and to BE COMPASSIONATE. Give love to my inner child. The obsession consumes me sometimes. It is an addiction pull. It is automatic - the way I reach out to him for comfort and validation. I KEEP doing it. People tell me I will continue to do it,...	RunnerChick	3	834	Jan 6, 2010 by kitty
	first steps... (Preview) My ABF will not talk to me right now because the last two times we drank together I knew I didn't want to and couldn't handle it. We decided to hang out with our friends and then meet up later...by the time we met up he had been passed out on the bar for almost an hour. His friends know this is getting old, but...	wyola	4	1520	Jan 6, 2010 by hotrod
	Heartbroken by someone in the program and so confused (Preview) I've been friends with this man who has been in AA for five years. We met fours years ago and were just friends for three years. However I didn't know he was in the program until about a year and a half ago. I was aware the whole time that he didn't drink but I didn't know why. However he did tell me his...	bernadette158	5	1134	Jan 5, 2010 by DreamXL
	LIVE AND LET LIVE * from an old forum * F.M.M. (Preview) LIVE AND LET LIVE THE first part of this slogan tell us to live, However living before Al-Anon meant worrying about the alcoholic , obsessing about our problems and trying to find perfect solutions--- abandoning ourselves in the process. Were we living , or were we allowing people and situations to...	abbyal	2	1551	Jan 5, 2010 by hotrod
	This is my craziness TODAY... (Preview) So, the event that triggered me to turn to Al Anon and begin to accept that I was powerless was (not surprisingly) New Years Day. I was so angry about how my ABF behaved in front of my friends at NYE that I didnt even want to see him for the rest of the weekend. I was laying in bed, thinking of what to say to get...	Festfan	4	988	Jan 5, 2010 by Festfan
	A little jolt from my HP (Preview) I spoke with an old dear friend over Christmas. She shared with me that her husband was drinking too much and it was getting difficult for her to handle her situation. I have spoken to her about alanon in the past although I don't think she has introduced herself to it yet. I advised her of this message...	fishinmama	2	805	Jan 5, 2010 by Tracy
	That Heavy Phone (Preview) Why is it that I have such a hard time picking up the phone and calling my Al-Anon friends when times get tough? I'll call my parents, my cousin, my friends. . . but not my program friends. I know that they are the ones I SHOULD be calling, but I just can't bring myself to do it. WHY? Any suggestions on how to ge...	N8SMOM	5	693	Jan 5, 2010 by Tracy
	anger and tears (Preview) Newbie here but not to the alanon program. Moved back to the midwest because of lonliness. Thought living next to the parents and helping them out whould be good for me. Dad is active alcoholic and mom is bigtime enabler. I basically moved back because I ran from another alcoholic marraige. When i get...	Lindajean	5	811	Jan 5, 2010 by abbyal
	I know this is not for my A.. (Preview) But how can I avoid the fight.. I have talked to my AH several times about going to a f2f meeting, and everytime it ends with me being blamed (nothing new there) guilt trip.. or him getting drunk. I know it is next to impossible to have a conversation with him. but I don't want me going to cause termoil for my...	serching-sandy	4	883	Jan 5, 2010 by Debilyn
	The will of God... (Preview) will not take me where the hand of God cannot protect me. As I sit at my desk at work, our company is about 15 minutes away from an announcement that they are closing the doors. I am saddened by this because I can honestly say that of all the jobs I have had I really enjoyed this one and loved to come to work. I...	AlaMom	7	879	Jan 5, 2010 by Jerry F
	A decision (Preview) AH and I have spent days talking about separation. I have been so unhappy. It's been almost 6 months since I started al-anon and I'm trying to detach from his drinking and find my boundaries. But deep down I just feel that he can never be the partner that I want and need. I want to have children one day,...	cdngirl	3	956	Jan 5, 2010 by Mattie
	Step One revisited...If I am powerless then someone else is in control. (Preview) We had our very first step meeting Friday night-which I lead and it was awesome! We took turns reading Step One from Paths to Recovery and then at the end I "passed the basket" so to speak (it was more like a bad-lol) with all the questions from the end of the step and everyone picked a question...	shellyj123	9	977	Jan 5, 2010 by Festfan
	Revisiting Step One (Preview) I am in so much pain that I am ready to surrender to the program and to all the suggestions - yet AGAIN. I am powerless over my exabf. I am powerless over my disease, my addiction to him and my NEED for him in my life. I'm powerless over his struggles. When I THINK I am in control or when I try to be in control - my l...	RunnerChick	8	940	Jan 4, 2010 by CJ recovery
	Are there any Happy Endings? (Preview) I am sitting alone at the dining room table, while my B is at a bar, reading the previous chats and crying wondering are there any happy endings or if I stay in this relationship am I going to be in a vicious cycle that will never end.......	frustratedinop	6	888	Jan 4, 2010 by frustratedinop
	does your partner know? (Preview) Being new here I'm learning so much. but I also have many questions. One question I've wondered about...Does your A partner know about your participation in al anon and that you are working on your own recovery? I haven't mentioned it to my A but it seems he must have noticed a change in my attitude (no mo...	pineapple	10	838	Jan 4, 2010 by pineapple
	Happy New Year! (Preview) Happy New Year everyone! This is the first time I have been on this site since the new year started & since I have gotten on at all! Today happens to be my 24th Alanon birthday; I am so grateful for all the years I have been in alanon & have met some wonderful loving & caring people including al...	Hoot Nanny	2	743	Jan 4, 2010 by pineapple
	New member. Just left my addict bf and really need support. (Preview) Hi, I'm new to this message board. I have been in a relationship with my ex bf for going on 5 years. I'm only 25 years old and recently found out he has been addicted to oxycontin for the past 6 months. I always had a gut feeling he was on something but he always denied it which made me crazy! I found out he h...	seweasy	12	958	Jan 4, 2010 by maresie
	Happy New Year! (Preview) ((((((Family))))), Pipers and I wanted to take a moment and wish you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you all had wonderful holidays. I'm sorry I've been away for awhile. Work was chaotic and I was spending time w/a friend who has been going through a very difficult time. Between that, work and the h...	Karilynn	2	608	Jan 4, 2010 by maresie
	What to expect from a sponsor? (Preview) Hi, just asked someone to be my sponsor but not sure what that means? This is her first experience at being a sponsor - so we are both new to the relationship. Do I call her to check in? Does she call me? Can I call her when I need to talk? We have set up a regular weekly meeting time to go over the steps, but I am n...	jasobel	5	15689	Jan 4, 2010 by supermom
	What do I say to my 8 year old? (Preview) My husband is in recovery - my 8 year old knows he can't drink alcohol. When we went out to eat he said he was drinking beer, it was root beer. I told her it was root beer. She knows he isn't supposed to drink alcohol. Later when we were home she asked, "what will happen to daddy if he drinks alcohol?...	cbcali	6	1241	Jan 4, 2010 by cbcali
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.