The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Newbie here but not to the alanon program. Moved back to the midwest because of lonliness. Thought living next to the parents and helping them out whould be good for me. Dad is active alcoholic and mom is bigtime enabler. I basically moved back because I ran from another alcoholic marraige. When i get angry I want to run away instead of facing my fears and taking care of myself.
I am 52 years old and have had 3 marriages. My life consists of always taking care of alcoholics or others. I have been so angry since I moved back to the midwest. I watch my mother take care of everything while my father drinks. I find myself wanting to fix my father etc. and it angers me. I know I need to work the program and take care of myself. I need to set boundries and live my own life.
I had a good job in a beautiful west coast state. I left because I did not have anyone to take care of. I did not know how to just be and live without taking care of others. Now that I am closer to my family of origin I see where I learned it. I am angry at myself for once again getting involved with alcoholics. I'm codapendent and need to start working the program.
Yesterday I got so angry and then cried a lot. I have turned a lot over to God and I am willing to work the program. I am so greatfull for this site. I read it all the time.
We have a lot in common lindajean. I live in the midwest. I have been married not 3 times, but 4. All dealing with the disease of alcoholism in one shape or another. When I divorced my first alcoholic, I ran away (from Texas) to Missouri, to be with my parents, because I couldn't stand to be on my own. My parents are not alcoholic, but they are very co-dendent on me. My dad is deceased now, and my mom is 87 and has alzheimers and I am her only caregiver.
One thing I learned about running...wherever we run to, there we are. Running never worked for me. I ran from one alcoholic situation into another when I ran home to Missouri from Texas. I ran from that relationship and divorced only to find an acoa who was sicker than an alcoholic (he had other addictions). Today I practice the program for me.
I can relate to your issues, but let me assure you that Al-Anon is alive and well in the Midwest, or at least it is here in Missouri. I have found in my al-anon home group the help and support that I never got from my family of origin. I have found through this forum and the MIP chat room a source of release and support during a time in my life when I can't get to as many f2f meetings as I would like.
If you had a good job on the West coast, you will find a good job here. Get yourself plugged in to a good home group and find yourself a new sponsor, do some service work (I find that works wonders for the spirit) and keep coming back!
Hope for Today is a good meditation book for acoa's. I also have Courage to Change and One Day at a Time in Al-Anon. Read as much literature as you can about the disease and your a step ahead if you have already turned a lot over to God and are willing to work the program.
Glad your here.
Overcome
-- Edited by Overcome on Monday 4th of January 2010 08:49:26 AM
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I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.
Aloha LJ...Welcome home. If you haven't got the meeting schedule from your local area hit the meetings link at the from of the MIP home page and go from there or to afgwso.org or the white pages of your telephone book under Al-Anon and the hotline will tell you where and when they are at. If you are already there save the information for someone else who is suffering from alcoholism themself. You are not alone...we are legion and the need is climbing. Keep coming back ((((hugs))))
Thank you all for your shares and support. I have been reading my alanon material and it helps tremendously. I have faced myself and the truth that running away will not stop me from making the same mistakes again.
I cannot fix or change my alcoholic father. I love him dearly and its hard to see someone slowly kill themselves with alcohol. Its also hard because the mean alcoholic I knew as a child is now gentle and kind.
I'm letting go and letting God take care of my parents.
I left because I had no one to take care of ???? What about you? take care of you for a change , find new meetings make new friends . There is a phrase I love BLOOM WHERE YOUR PLANTED . can't move right now ? get well right where your at . You know what to do , treat yourself like your best friend . Louise
