The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, I am not technically alone since my kids are here, but they will be in bed by 8 :) I am alone by choice, and I mostly feel okay about it. AH is going out with his brother and some other people and you should have seen him today...he was so excited, like a kid before Christmas, about getting wasted tonight. He wore new clothes and left at 4:30 to start partying. I have gone with him in the past, and the night would always be ruined by his drinking and his stupidity. I am going to try to enjoy this evening and not think about when (if) he will get home, whether tomorrow will be spent answering the kids' questions about why daddy can't get out of bed. I already turned off my cell phone to avoid any drama that may arise. I DVR'd some shows that I will watch tonight and I will probably go to bed long before midnight. That is how I will end 2009. I may shed a few tears also :) I hope 2010 will be better, and I know the power lies within ME to make it better. Still have a lot of work to do on myself and a lot of bitterness and anger to let go of. That is my goal for the New Year. I hope this time next year I can go back and read this post and be proud that I have come such a long way.
Be safe everyone, and thanks for letting me babble on and on :) Happy New Year to all!
Your not the only one alone tonight.. Just broke up with my boyfriend of seven years because of his drinking.. it was the hardest thing i have ever done.. all my friends are out but i chose not to.. well maybe not chose.. but feel to upset to do anything tonight.. Its the first new years with out him.. :( I found this website tonight and hope to find people who truley understand what i am going through.... Just know that your not the only one alone....its nice to know that you have resourses and people out in the world that may be going through what you are and have been through. thanks for listening...
Sw, You are not the only one. My hub and I seperated this year and are getting divorced in three months (well that is when it will be final). My kids are also in bed by 8 and I am looking forward to going to bed early and not waking up to an alarm clock.
I am doing what I want to do. Even if he and I were still together my new years would probably still be like this.
Enjoy the peace of a quiet house, I know I am.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
I'm home alone, too! Well, I have my cat by my side; he wouldn't have it any other way.
Like Mandy123, I'm separated and either getting a legal separation or divorce in the next few months. If he were here, I'd be doing the same thing. He would have drunk and crashed out by now.
It's peaceful. I don't feel alone. I enjoy being by myself.
I've never been a person for large groups anyway.
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
I am alone too. Been without my A boyfriend now going on day 19 since he left me. I hate new years eve! Its filled with so much symbolism and expectation. Still I recall last new years eve when he was drink and was up until 6 AM. Passed out when I had to get up for work - so that I don't miss. But I miss him - his soul and his spirit. Yes 2010 is going to be the "me" year - no more "saving the souls" of other lost men. My daughter is 13 and wants to stay up till midnight - I just want the night/day/holidays to be over with.
Thank you for posting this! One day at a time I go on without him, so far time hasn't bee healing
I spent the evening alone too. Hubby hopped a plane early in the morning. So today is a new day and every one of us made it. That shows me that all of us have it in us to move forward and grow. The trick for me is to keep it up, live in the now and stay away from living in the past. There is nothing in the past we can change, but everything in today is our empty canvas. Dredging up the past over and over is fruitless and self abusive. We are the creators of our lives. We can create how we react to every day. None of us liked the past anyway, so it just makes sense to live for today and not drag last years problems in.
Have a creative and Happy New Year!!
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Well, a bit late to the party, but I spent the night alone. As well, not technically since I had baby. AW was away in another city partying.
Was it what I'd have liked? No. But it wasn't as bas as it could be- I spent a quiet night with my sweet baby. I didn't regret, didn't weep, didn't lament. I enjoyed it for what it was, and hoped the best for AW.
