The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone. I am new here and new to any type of al-anon group. I plan to join an al-anon group in the next week.
My story - Last summer my sister and her husband moved back to our home state. I noticed something was wrong when I went to visit her one time and she had poured vodka into her breakfast drink and I noticed how much alcohol was in her storage closet. I was concerned, but just separating from my husband at the time, I was focused on that. Once she moved back, I noticed just how bad it had gotten. I don't need to go into all the details because I know you have all heard it before and have lived it. The lies that she doesn't ever drive while drinking, then last week after drinking three margaritas, she got into a car and drove. The lie that she would never drink a drop while watching my children (which I haven't had her do often) Last night she was watching my girls for 2 hours (one 4 and one 16) I came to pick them up and she was drunk. Rambling on and on. That was the last straw for me.
Today I told her that if she didn't get professional help that she would no longer be able to see my children. She said she didn't care and started telling me what I needed to work on. I'm sure this is normal for this behavior but I can't help feel sad. I am going to have to stick to my decision, but I don't like it.
Welcome Juiz - glad you found us.... I think you'll find a wealth of support & encouragement on this board, and it sounds like you're well on your way to recognizing behaviors, etc.... Al-Anon will be of great benefit to you, for sure, and boards such as ours give you the comfort that you are not alone in all of this...
Take care Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I am sorry about your sister but u will learn in our program to set boundaries in your relationship and still be able to have a relationship with her . Just know that your kids are the biggest priority and a practing alcoholic is not repsonsible enough to look after them , sad but true . Am glad your going to find meetings for yourself , u need support from people who understand exactly how u feel . it is a safe place to share your fears as anonmymity is the basis of our program . Alcoholics lie its what they do , period . there is a sick joke that states HOw do u tell if an alcoholic is lying--- answer - are thier lips moving ? Until your sister says what she is doing is causing her a problem it isnt it's causing you a problem and our program will help u with that . You have set the boundary now the hard part begins , being consistant . learn to trust your gut , and don't question what your seeing , or hearing . and yes her behavior is normal , until she takes responsibility for the decissions she makes nothing will change for her . it only takes one person to change to create change . goodluck enjoy your meeting Louise
Welcome to MIP! You have come to the right place. It is always a sobering thought to realize the truth. They tell us to detach from the alcoholic and the behavior. Keep coming back.
Did you listen to your sister's things you need to work on? That's all you can control. You don't know why she drinks, you don't know what deamons haunt her. You can't control her. But if you show that you can improve, maybe she'll see it and emulate?
Aloha Julzy...The initial boundaries are good. Al-Anon face to face meetings will help you a ton more with information both verbal and literature and love and support. Good that you're getting there and keep coming back here also. (((((hugs)))))
Hi everyone. I am new here and new to any type of al-anon group. I plan to join an al-anon group in the next week.