The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just want to already say thank the Earth for support groups! Even though I only started seriously reading and acknowledging alcoholism and dealing with someone who can't stop, I have some tools to deal with this and have some sort of relief.
By ABF didn't meet me to say he doesn't need me to interfere in what he is trying to figure out. Instead, he was speechless (and hung over!) He said the same things he always have, he needs to stop but doesn't know how. He also acknowledged that he was causing me so much pain. How can he not know how to stop?! He works at a bar and spends all his spare time there! To me its easy! Stay away from it! Realize that less money and more structure at another job would be worth it! But I know his anxiety gets to him and thats his release. I think he even could acknowledge he pressures me to drink when I know I don't want to and can't do it.
After I walked away from him because its so painful he texted me he feels like shit because he caused this. Because I've read so many posts I texted him back, it wasn't him, it was our drinking. I also now know that I can't let him rely on me only when he's down and I need to stay away for awhile. I just need to stick to my guns!
I will find a meeting here (even though I live in a VERY small community and am very nervous), but I can see this is a very serious situation and I need to do something serious about it.
Good for you. As I see it you have done three serious things about it. Step one is hitting home for you. You are going to find a meeting. And, you are starting to take care of yourself first.
You have only been a member of MIP for one day, and have already taken three giant steps toward your recovery. You should be proud of yourself-------I sure am.
Wyola - thanks for the post. I could actually feel some of the relief and peace as I read it - which I really need because I know that I need to face my ABF soon... I haven't seen him since New Years Day (morning) and I have been struggling with my next step since coming to terms (with myself) that he is an A and can't change himself without help. But not help from me - I've tried and there are not changes. I feel more relaxed since this weekend, but I think its really out of avoidance.
I am glad your talk with your BF went well. Congrats! Its a huge and difficult step! I agree with others - go to the meetings - I live in a metro area and there are a lot of meetings so I am lucky, but because there are a lot of meetings, many of them are small (only 4-10 people). I don't know if this is "normal" - maybe a bigger meeting is "better" but maybe not. Go to more than one meeting - get the hang of it. The 2 I have been to this week and daily reliance on this site have been enormously helpful.
