I am so confused all the time and begging HP for guidance.  When I came home off holidays my sponsor rang and asked if I could visit her.

To cut along story short she has met My ABF's sponsor at an open meeting we all attended lately and she knows him from a long time a ago.  I have confided in her that he is encouraging my partner to sell pot etc she has now told me inconfidence that this man is not to be trusted that he and his family may have been sober for many years but do not work the programme.  I was devasated my ABF really looks up to this man and he has helped him to stay sober.  But staying sober is only the first bit changing ourselves into a person we can be proud of is the life time work.  I carnt break my sponsor confidence but have pointed out to my ABf that his sponsor should not be encouraging him to do things that are against the law.  There is another man who has not been sober as long I said to ABF he seems to be working the programme better stick with the winners.  This was al said quickly and left I am powerless.  I need to focus on me.  Then I went out New Year (got drunk) getting concerned lectures from people about how I deserve better than ABf.  I was drunk he was at home sober.
I met ABF and he stayed here that night but I let out my resentment.  I feel he is sober but still  not man I wanrt need, still not reliable stable.  I am worried about this sponsor thing now.
To top it off my sponsor when giving this informtion felt like she was telling me what to do.  She is an amazing sponsor and I hope  she not going to loose her objectivetity now we are getting closer.  She has always been the person I can ring who will not give advcie but this time she said it is seriuous, not a disease he is chossing to mix with some really dishonest people and I need to be careful for me and the kids.

ABF stormed out new years day and I have left it I need time to think.  I can not live hi life, I ca not make him sensible, I love him but its like even though hes not drinking he is still like a child.  Can an A ever really become responsible, reliable.  People say I deserve better, he makes his own choices, I have tole him I dont want to be with him if he does illegal stuff he says he has stopped and is getting a job, but this man is still his sponsor.

any ESH gratefully appreciated

-- Edited by Tracy on Saturday 2nd of January 2010 05:58:53 PM

-- Edited by Tracy on Sunday 3rd of January 2010 08:03:08 AM