Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

rara avis · rara avis

Welllll....my ex RA has been very silent, but left messages on my phone last night. He wants to meet in a neutral place, because he feels he 'hasn't been heard.' He said if I'd just told him he was going to lose me, instead of leaving a note and running, he would have shaped up. He also said I was playing a dan...

clep · clep

I started going to a naturopath many months ago for multiple things. My MD couldn't fix the issues and most were in my pelvis. My naturopath tells me that the stress from relationship issues are stored in the pelvis. It has finally caught up with me. In the last two weeks, I have had hip pain. I starte...

glad · glad

I went to a ladies meet and greet tonight organized by a local church. Just ladies getting together for fun. I got to be around people who are similar to me and and seemed to like me for me. It was reinforced to me that I am secure, it was the alcoholism that made me seem so insecure... I even said the closing p...

Pushka · Pushka

So today has been a much better day than yesterday was, my AH and I had a really great evening. He slept which I am more than ok with, he works his butt off every day of the week. Before he napped he was out bbqing in the rain, God love him, he's got more moxie than I do at times. I am looking forward to tomorro...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

In the "normie" world, the world where addiction doesn't reign supreme, I imagine a family trip is something fun to plan. I used to have fun planning our family trips before addiction demanded we invite it everywhere. Now... it is hard. Addiction takes up so much space there isn't a lot of r...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Last night my AH got out of hand with the drinking. I went downstairs around midnight to see what the heck was going on downstairs because I heard all this commotion. He was taking a beer outside and then putting it in the pool. Then he stumbled around the side yard and threw out his paper bag in the tras...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So it's been six months since I decided to leave my AH of 29 years. As I was driving home from work today, I had an "aha" moment. I keep wondering why he doesn't try to reach out and contact me. I check my phone everyday for a text or voicemail, and it's not there. I usually call him once a week just t...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My ex periodically sends me names of songs to listen to (or links to youtube videos) - mostly about me breaking his heart, or how his heart is broken, how could I say goodbye, how could I.... you know? Are there any songs that very specifically address choosing to not be with someone because of their addi...

glad · glad

In real life bombs do go off... I was surprised to learn that there are aprox. 14 times per month in my area, that the fire dept. / bomb squad goes on real calls that involve actual bombs designed to hurt and kill people. There are living among us real "gangs" and all kinds of scary groups. On the...

Mylife · Mylife

I am now living with my AM. Years ago when I left her and moved out she almost died. She ended up in the hospital detoxing and going through Physio for 2 months...and then she was sober for about 11 years. She is drinking again, but trying to hide it from me. She is rarely drunk in my presense but I know she is d...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

For over a year, I have been begging and pleading, bargaining and reasoning with my alcoholic husband, trying ANYTHING to get him to stop drinking. I figured out how to detach with love last week. He drank all week, then stopped yesterday. He feels lousy today, shaky and dehydrated, but he's pushing t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I was drawn back to Hawaiilover's original post on this subject because after I read and supported I was reminded of an inventory I did on my relationship and marriage to the alcoholic/addict in my life and it went like this. "She's such a bitch...goes out gets drunk and loaded and sleeps with e...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

AH and I are off tomorrow for a 5 day vacation without our son. It's a business incentive trip for his company and we'll be in the Caribbean. I'm actually very nervous to be alone with him for so long. Is he going to drink(everyone else will be getting trashed like they do every year), is he going to be ki...

nyc018 · nyc018

I posted in the past about the same issue so apologies if I'm repeating myself. Just need to vent since I got an earful from my mom again this morning about AH, from whom Im separated. Long story short AH had a break down this summer, ended up in rehab, and lost his job as a result of his absenteeism caused by...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

He came home from fishing. He rang when he was on his way in.. I was at lunch with a friend. I didn't get home until about another hour. I quite obviously disturbed their afternoon as he friend came out and opened the gate for me with a bong in his hand. My husband appeared a few minutes later. Stoned and...

Cupcake · Cupcake

Today I went to the gym to work out. It wasn't too busy or full of the muscle heads building their biceps - sometimes it's eye candy, sometimes just ridiculous. Anyway, I started looking around and I noticed a few things. An old man on the treadmill, walking and reading a book with the pages held down w...

Wendie · Wendie

I am going through many family adjustments & my AH is really not supportively there for me...it truly is like 'going to the Hardware store for bread'. I attended a meeting tonight & on the way home, I decided to bring home a simple inexpensive meal to share w/him. Upon arriving home, there he wa...

blupaisan · blupaisan

i thought i caught my bf using. he denies it. i thought i had evidence. he explains it away. i want soo much to trust him. doesnt trusting him do good things for him? how do i know when it might be enabling him to cheat? i dont know how to handle this. i expect the same thing to happen again, and want to be...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi Everyone, The thought of taking a break from this board has been popping into my mind the past few months. It's nothing personal! I've always felt love and acceptance here by all. There's something going on inside of me that I want to clarify. To take a break is a gut feeling. I can't explain it oth...

atheos · atheos

Since starting my new job and moving to a dayshift, I haven't been able to go to my morning homegroup any more, and haven't gotten around to finding new meetings (I tend to stress out about meeting new people, so I've been putting it off). Amazing how much things can start to slip without me even realizin...

jmanning · jmanning

I haven't posted in about 2 weeks. But its been 1 month since by AH went to jail. We have heard that hopefully he will be getting sent to to rehab this week, that means he will be home in 9 months. We have had many heart to heart talks and he is looking forward to rehab. He wants to stay sober. He also has been get...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I have had a great day, that I hope to bring with me for the weekend...My qualifier is at work today from 9-5. My older son has a homecoming dance to go to tonight. Last night my son and I had some time together. I was going to go to a meeting but I realized he and I hadn't connected in a while so we did. We mad...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

Greetings folks - I'm on day 3 of my "detachment with love" experiment and I must admit I'm wavering a bit. My AH (who began his binge on Saturday after 42 days of sobriety) woke up this morning very ill. He managed to get up to walk the dog, told me he made it to a 12:30 AA meeting but then I didn'...

Jozie · Jozie

Powerlessness.... You Know ... I have been Goin over the Roller Coaster for the Past 3 weeks, and I Can Honestly Say, It has not slowed down much... However, Coming here... Feeling Accepted, Loved, Cared for Emotionally, Prayed for Daily... I know HP Works Over time for Me! With all the Family "I...

silentcygnet · silentcygnet

Things have been going so much better these past few days. I have found support and wisdom through this board (thank you all!) and my ftf meetings and have begun to feel stronger in my belief that I need to focus on me and my children's future and lives as we move forward with or without my AH. I was feeling m...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I married someone I thought would be my best friend, someone I could sit out on the front porch and talk to. We hadn't been married 3 full days and he yelled at me about the clothes in the closet. The first 6 weeks we were married, were horrible. I finally confronted him, told him that he needed to get help. E...

New member · Miss Maddie

Hi all! I'm new here.....just found this forum recently & decided to join. I'm 42 yo and my husband is what I call a "functioning alcoholic" - he doesn't miss work or anything like that. But he drinks daily, often to the point of passing out. Most times when he's drunk, he VERY angry &a...

Telling family members.... · Miss Maddie

So I have a question I've been wondering about for some time now........Has anyone "told" other family members about their Alcoholic spouse's problem? I'm asking cuz my AH has a grown daughter who has her own house. She freaked out over the summer over a rash my AH has on his back he refuses...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I was carrying so much anger when I walked into the rooms of alanon that I could not feel any other emotion. I felt completely comfortable with indifference, apathy, and disdain. As a newcomer I absolutely hated what my AH did to me and the life I was having as a result of his choices. Today I am remind...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

For a long time before I got involved with Alanon I was resentful and bitter that I was the sole breadwinner for my AH and myself. "What a burden I carry" I would often think, why is my life so hard. I make a very good living which supports us nicely, he has never been able to hold down steady wor...

glad · glad

I think of my qualifier as my most recent long term BF// this post is OLD history stuff...and was "spurred" by facebook pictures of my new grandson posted by my emotionally challenged ex husband's new wife... I'll admit I've messed up much in my life but my daughters are amazing adults. I f...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I feel broken, disillusioned. The jeep the murderers left up here had a body in it, the killers father. They also killed a man for being black in Eureka Ca.Who knows who else they killed. They killed Cody becuz his name sounded Jewish. Can you imagine what they would have done, me being a JW? Do not feel sa...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

Just checking in to report on the second day of my detachment experiment. My husband is still drinking, matter of face passed out in his easy chair as I type. I'm worried about his health. Not sure what can physically happen to him if this keeps up. Not sure what my responsibilty to call a doctor or so...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My face to face meeting tonight was on asking for help. It made me realize how much I am missing out on in this program in that I don't ask others for help. In thinking about it, I realized that this is undoubtedly a result of my childhood and growing up with alcoholic parents. My parents drinking was a secr...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Hi all; the computer troubles persist at home, and my new temp job blocks most non-work related websites. But I seem to have reasonably good internet access tonight; definitely my HP at work, since I have been in serious need of MIP! I'm making some progress, mostly because I'm back at work. It make...

silentcygnet · silentcygnet

Hello all, I have been lurking on MIP for a few weeks now and have been so inspired by the words of wisdom and hope. It has taken me a while to get up the nerve to post my story and ask for some help, but this special kind of pain is a great motivator! My AH had abstained from alcohol for the past 15 years. I say ab...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting tomorrow morning as I need to accompany a friend to hospital for surgery. Hoping someone can step up and chair for me. Thanks. Shimo aka Jeri

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

The other night I probably should have reported my AH as a drunk driver. How do I go about doing that? Do I just call 911 and give them the approximate location and the car plate number and description or do I call the non-emergency number of the local authorities? I was wondering because we live in an a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is so weird that no one commented on my post the last time. I guess it is OK since all I did was mention a couple thoughts that weren't even original. I won't take it personally. I am just glad you viewed it. So much on my mind but as usual not much time. I will just say that although I am waking up early & h...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

As I said before, I am feeling low. I am thinking it may be because of hormones but also, maybe I am not feeling very 'safe'. I do not trust anyone in my life to allow anyone close enough to allow me to feel What I want right now, is someone to hold me tight while I cry and rock and bawl my eyes out and scream out t...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

This always happens. I start to feel good and then my moods, energies and mind all backfire on me. Its like my body sould won't allow me to feel good about things for too long. I am sitting here thinking I am bipolar!!!! I just want to crawl under the blankets and disregard the world and everyone in it. Y...

catiegirl · catiegirl

I am writing with so much heartbreak and emotion. The man who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with has changed so much that I had to leave. He drinks constantly. In the morning, before work, on his breaks, after work. He has been in two car accidents. One where he got a dui and almost killed himsel...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I was sick yesterday, had a stomach thing going on, and so I called out of work. I am wondering why I always feel so guilty when I call out (Haven't called out since February) and my sponsor helped me with that yesterday. She said to pray, stop and meditate...stop the chaos from running around in my head...

lookingup · lookingup

im really am going through the greiveing process i know,this is like a nightmare,lol never would have thought it cause he is not even close to the one i would even marry,but here i am just trying to muddle through allthe pains the best way i can with out faling off the edge ,and just by thinking i might have...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

today i was driving along .. this pain is really something .. be it self inflicted or the fact i truly miss my addict and genuinely love this man .. ok mixed in with the fact i want to fix save him and at this point in time near pity him .. but was beginning to feel such intense pain i wondered if it were anything...

glad · glad

It makes no real "sense" to want him back. He is not good for me and there would only be pain and confusion. No matter the reasons - No matter what I think I want. It's like wanting something that is bad for me. It makes no real sense for him to drink, long term there is only pain and confusion, no m...

luvsapd · luvsapd

I am new to alanon and this board. I am also one-week separated. My dilemma is that my newly exed A and I are attended a conference in a couple of weeks. Actually, it's for my work, he happens to be a speaker. I've made arrangements to not have to sit with him on the flight and advised him that he needs to make h...

lookingup · lookingup

well ive really enjoyed reading al the posts on separating from the a,i separated 6 mths ago broke it off completely,changed my ph.# and even blocked him off my internet, found me a real good b/f soi thought ive been dumped cant count how many times ,lol then i get a disturbing phone call from my freind sa...

lookingup · lookingup

yes it hurts and thats just part of it and i may be being played i dunno,and i could be just setting myself up for another big disappointment like always im good at that setting my self up he may and he may not ever call me agin,i know how they r when they find them a new cody to use ,they push the old away in a min....

youfoundme · youfoundme

Tonight my qualifier drank, not a lot but enough to give him that little attitude and so I kind of got one too for a bit. I started to want to get into it with him, but I remembered some of my tools and I decided to do some laundry and go up stairs with the lap top to work on some photography stuff. I prayed for s...

Jennifer · Jennifer

The last two months have been truly awful. Weekly if not biweekly occurences of major medical treatments or surgeries for myself or immediate family members, the weaning process from my treatment, losing Sully, the death of a close friend, business is struggling, school is in full swing. I was p...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

Hey group - quick request. Does anyone have the book "12 Steps and 12 Traditions on Al Anon" and access to a scanner or fax machine? I'm chairing a step meeting this evening and the format of the meeting is that we read from that book on the step we're studying (tonight is step 9) and I've trie...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm curious to hear how others feel about installing a car ingnition lock on a vehicle to prevent someone from driving while drunk. I know they are sometimes required if someone gets a DWI, but I don't know if it can be done voluntarily? My wife is demonstrating that she is not in control and nearly drove...

Pushka · Pushka

It's been a LONG week and it's only Wednesday .. lol. I've really been struggling this week with a lot of emotional garbage that needs to be processed just to get to the other side. My insecurities are rearing up in a bad way. I'm sure some of it is a HHALT. Hormonal, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired total...

kris10 · kris10

I love you like.. Did you hear me? I love you like... You won't come near me? I love you like it's a question. Like... If I say it enough will you give me affection?? A sign, a glimmer of hope? I love you like the memory. The memory of what it was like, what it should be. But see, that's just me. Imagining... All...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I think I can feel some changes in me. This is a good thing. I am usually so controlling it isn't funny. In the past, I have found out that my husband finished work early and didn't tell me, Igot home and he was already there.... I was angry, I was upset that I didn't know what was happening, Why would yo...

ToBeHappy · ToBeHappy

In short, my husband has been in and out of rehab for the past four years and has not worked. I have supported him 100% from his sobriety attempts to handling all of the financial responsibility. We had a baby at the beginning of the year and he went into Full blown drinking every day all day mode then picke...

Camille Le Montre · Camille Le Montre

My partner (my 6-year-old son's father) is an alcoholic with a history of near death experiences. He can go from 1-3 years sober. But when he falls off the wagon, it is always under very traumatic circumstances. After a year and a half of sobriety, I finally allowed him to move back in with us. I then tru...

Patk · Patk

Hi Everyone, I teach part-time at a high school. Last spring when I was about to hop on my bike and ride home after classes a coworker confronted me at the bike rack and began to accuse me of ignoring him, treating him badly, not respecting him. He was shaking and had that "look" in his eyes that...

John · John

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Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ESH on the adult thing to do? (Preview) Welllll....my ex RA has been very silent, but left messages on my phone last night. He wants to meet in a neutral place, because he feels he 'hasn't been heard.' He said if I'd just told him he was going to lose me, instead of leaving a note and running, he would have shaped up. He also said I was playing a dan...	rara avis	18	579	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Stress (Preview) I started going to a naturopath many months ago for multiple things. My MD couldn't fix the issues and most were in my pelvis. My naturopath tells me that the stress from relationship issues are stored in the pelvis. It has finally caught up with me. In the last two weeks, I have had hip pain. I starte...	clep	3	425	Oct 17, 2011 by clep
	Blessings come in small little packages! (Preview) I went to a ladies meet and greet tonight organized by a local church. Just ladies getting together for fun. I got to be around people who are similar to me and and seemed to like me for me. It was reinforced to me that I am secure, it was the alcoholism that made me seem so insecure... I even said the closing p...	glad	3	405	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Better day .. (Preview) So today has been a much better day than yesterday was, my AH and I had a really great evening. He slept which I am more than ok with, he works his butt off every day of the week. Before he napped he was out bbqing in the rain, God love him, he's got more moxie than I do at times. I am looking forward to tomorro...	Pushka	8	357	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Addiction wins again (Preview) In the "normie" world, the world where addiction doesn't reign supreme, I imagine a family trip is something fun to plan. I used to have fun planning our family trips before addiction demanded we invite it everywhere. Now... it is hard. Addiction takes up so much space there isn't a lot of r...	Very Very Tired	11	624	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	So ticked off right now. What do I do/say? (Preview) Last night my AH got out of hand with the drinking. I went downstairs around midnight to see what the heck was going on downstairs because I heard all this commotion. He was taking a beer outside and then putting it in the pool. Then he stumbled around the side yard and threw out his paper bag in the tras...	ilovedogs	15	553	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Separation is Tough separation denial (Preview) So it's been six months since I decided to leave my AH of 29 years. As I was driving home from work today, I had an "aha" moment. I keep wondering why he doesn't try to reach out and contact me. I check my phone everyday for a text or voicemail, and it's not there. I usually call him once a week just t...	Green Eyes	10	7933	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	meaningful song (Preview) My ex periodically sends me names of songs to listen to (or links to youtube videos) - mostly about me breaking his heart, or how his heart is broken, how could I say goodbye, how could I.... you know? Are there any songs that very specifically address choosing to not be with someone because of their addi...	likemyheart	11	370	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	real life (Preview) In real life bombs do go off... I was surprised to learn that there are aprox. 14 times per month in my area, that the fire dept. / bomb squad goes on real calls that involve actual bombs designed to hurt and kill people. There are living among us real "gangs" and all kinds of scary groups. On the...	glad	5	361	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	How to come to terms with the fact that my AM is killing herself? (Preview) I am now living with my AM. Years ago when I left her and moved out she almost died. She ended up in the hospital detoxing and going through Physio for 2 months...and then she was sober for about 11 years. She is drinking again, but trying to hide it from me. She is rarely drunk in my presense but I know she is d...	Mylife	5	408	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	It really works! (Preview) For over a year, I have been begging and pleading, bargaining and reasoning with my alcoholic husband, trying ANYTHING to get him to stop drinking. I figured out how to detach with love last week. He drank all week, then stopped yesterday. He feels lousy today, shaky and dehydrated, but he's pushing t...	Mlkiss75	5	344	Oct 17, 2011 by Jerry F
	Infidelity and Betrayal - revisited (Preview) I was drawn back to Hawaiilover's original post on this subject because after I read and supported I was reminded of an inventory I did on my relationship and marriage to the alcoholic/addict in my life and it went like this. "She's such a bitch...goes out gets drunk and loaded and sleeps with e...	Jerry F	15	793	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Wish me luck and prayers (Preview) AH and I are off tomorrow for a 5 day vacation without our son. It's a business incentive trip for his company and we'll be in the Caribbean. I'm actually very nervous to be alone with him for so long. Is he going to drink(everyone else will be getting trashed like they do every year), is he going to be ki...	ilovedogs	6	389	Oct 17, 2011 by Debilyn
	Family Issues - more of the Same (Preview) I posted in the past about the same issue so apologies if I'm repeating myself. Just need to vent since I got an earful from my mom again this morning about AH, from whom Im separated. Long story short AH had a break down this summer, ended up in rehab, and lost his job as a result of his absenteeism caused by...	nyc018	5	705	Oct 17, 2011 by Debilyn
	its back (Preview) He came home from fishing. He rang when he was on his way in.. I was at lunch with a friend. I didn't get home until about another hour. I quite obviously disturbed their afternoon as he friend came out and opened the gate for me with a bong in his hand. My husband appeared a few minutes later. Stoned and...	Lindaoakford	15	668	Oct 17, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Appreciating my HP at work (Preview) Today I went to the gym to work out. It wasn't too busy or full of the muscle heads building their biceps - sometimes it's eye candy, sometimes just ridiculous. Anyway, I started looking around and I noticed a few things. An old man on the treadmill, walking and reading a book with the pages held down w...	Cupcake	8	453	Oct 17, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Frustrated (Preview) I am going through many family adjustments & my AH is really not supportively there for me...it truly is like 'going to the Hardware store for bread'. I attended a meeting tonight & on the way home, I decided to bring home a simple inexpensive meal to share w/him. Upon arriving home, there he wa...	Wendie	6	423	Oct 17, 2011 by Pushka
	trusting... (Preview) i thought i caught my bf using. he denies it. i thought i had evidence. he explains it away. i want soo much to trust him. doesnt trusting him do good things for him? how do i know when it might be enabling him to cheat? i dont know how to handle this. i expect the same thing to happen again, and want to be...	blupaisan	5	502	Oct 17, 2011 by Pushka
	Taking a Break (Preview) Hi Everyone, The thought of taking a break from this board has been popping into my mind the past few months. It's nothing personal! I've always felt love and acceptance here by all. There's something going on inside of me that I want to clarify. To take a break is a gut feeling. I can't explain it oth...	GailMichelle	15	764	Oct 17, 2011 by GailMichelle
	The little things that make life manageable (Preview) Since starting my new job and moving to a dayshift, I haven't been able to go to my morning homegroup any more, and haven't gotten around to finding new meetings (I tend to stress out about meeting new people, so I've been putting it off). Amazing how much things can start to slip without me even realizin...	atheos	3	505	Oct 17, 2011 by youfoundme
	Its been a month today (Preview) I haven't posted in about 2 weeks. But its been 1 month since by AH went to jail. We have heard that hopefully he will be getting sent to to rehab this week, that means he will be home in 9 months. We have had many heart to heart talks and he is looking forward to rehab. He wants to stay sober. He also has been get...	jmanning	5	490	Oct 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Living in reality (Preview) I have had a great day, that I hope to bring with me for the weekend...My qualifier is at work today from 9-5. My older son has a homecoming dance to go to tonight. Last night my son and I had some time together. I was going to go to a meeting but I realized he and I hadn't connected in a while so we did. We mad...	youfoundme	9	472	Oct 17, 2011 by Wendie
	Day 3 of Detachment Recovery Detachment Gratitude Support (Preview) Greetings folks - I'm on day 3 of my "detachment with love" experiment and I must admit I'm wavering a bit. My AH (who began his binge on Saturday after 42 days of sobriety) woke up this morning very ill. He managed to get up to walk the dog, told me he made it to a 12:30 AA meeting but then I didn'...	Mlkiss75	14	8043	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Powerlessness = Acceptance.... (Preview) Powerlessness.... You Know ... I have been Goin over the Roller Coaster for the Past 3 weeks, and I Can Honestly Say, It has not slowed down much... However, Coming here... Feeling Accepted, Loved, Cared for Emotionally, Prayed for Daily... I know HP Works Over time for Me! With all the Family "I...	Jozie	5	727	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Why is it so hard for my heart to believe what my mind knows is true? (Preview) Things have been going so much better these past few days. I have found support and wisdom through this board (thank you all!) and my ftf meetings and have begun to feel stronger in my belief that I need to focus on me and my children's future and lives as we move forward with or without my AH. I was feeling m...	silentcygnet	6	699	Oct 16, 2011 by Pushka
	Conditional (Preview) I married someone I thought would be my best friend, someone I could sit out on the front porch and talk to. We hadn't been married 3 full days and he yelled at me about the clothes in the closet. The first 6 weeks we were married, were horrible. I finally confronted him, told him that he needed to get help. E...	Jackie11	10	617	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New member (Preview) Hi all! I'm new here.....just found this forum recently & decided to join. I'm 42 yo and my husband is what I call a "functioning alcoholic" - he doesn't miss work or anything like that. But he drinks daily, often to the point of passing out. Most times when he's drunk, he VERY angry &a...	Miss Maddie	14	562	Oct 16, 2011 by Pushka
	Telling family members.... (Preview) So I have a question I've been wondering about for some time now........Has anyone "told" other family members about their Alcoholic spouse's problem? I'm asking cuz my AH has a grown daughter who has her own house. She freaked out over the summer over a rash my AH has on his back he refuses...	Miss Maddie	8	354	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	A N G E R (Preview) I was carrying so much anger when I walked into the rooms of alanon that I could not feel any other emotion. I felt completely comfortable with indifference, apathy, and disdain. As a newcomer I absolutely hated what my AH did to me and the life I was having as a result of his choices. Today I am remind...	tommyecat	5	510	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Gratitude For Self Sufficiency (Preview) For a long time before I got involved with Alanon I was resentful and bitter that I was the sole breadwinner for my AH and myself. "What a burden I carry" I would often think, why is my life so hard. I make a very good living which supports us nicely, he has never been able to hold down steady wor...	surfgirl123	7	746	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	See the train coming down the track! (Preview) I think of my qualifier as my most recent long term BF// this post is OLD history stuff...and was "spurred" by facebook pictures of my new grandson posted by my emotionally challenged ex husband's new wife... I'll admit I've messed up much in my life but my daughters are amazing adults. I f...	glad	5	575	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	came here,didn't know what else to do. (Preview) I feel broken, disillusioned. The jeep the murderers left up here had a body in it, the killers father. They also killed a man for being black in Eureka Ca.Who knows who else they killed. They killed Cody becuz his name sounded Jewish. Can you imagine what they would have done, me being a JW? Do not feel sa...	Debilyn	16	615	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Day 2 of Detachment Recovery Detachment Fellowship Gratitude (Preview) Just checking in to report on the second day of my detachment experiment. My husband is still drinking, matter of face passed out in his easy chair as I type. I'm worried about his health. Not sure what can physically happen to him if this keeps up. Not sure what my responsibilty to call a doctor or so...	Mlkiss75	10	7260	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Asking for help (Preview) My face to face meeting tonight was on asking for help. It made me realize how much I am missing out on in this program in that I don't ask others for help. In thinking about it, I realized that this is undoubtedly a result of my childhood and growing up with alcoholic parents. My parents drinking was a secr...	usedtobeanyer	4	806	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Progress...and backtracking (Preview) Hi all; the computer troubles persist at home, and my new temp job blocks most non-work related websites. But I seem to have reasonably good internet access tonight; definitely my HP at work, since I have been in serious need of MIP! I'm making some progress, mostly because I'm back at work. It make...	stephaniej	3	359	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New to MIP... (Preview) Hello all, I have been lurking on MIP for a few weeks now and have been so inspired by the words of wisdom and hope. It has taken me a while to get up the nerve to post my story and ask for some help, but this special kind of pain is a great motivator! My AH had abstained from alcohol for the past 15 years. I say ab...	silentcygnet	7	668	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	MONDAY AL-ANON MTG Oct 17 (Preview) I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting tomorrow morning as I need to accompany a friend to hospital for surgery. Hoping someone can step up and chair for me. Thanks. Shimo aka Jeri	shimo	0	169	Oct 16, 2011 by shimo
	Have you ever called the authorities? (Preview) The other night I probably should have reported my AH as a drunk driver. How do I go about doing that? Do I just call 911 and give them the approximate location and the car plate number and description or do I call the non-emergency number of the local authorities? I was wondering because we live in an a...	ilovedogs	16	855	Oct 16, 2011 by rehprof
	that is so weird... (Preview) It is so weird that no one commented on my post the last time. I guess it is OK since all I did was mention a couple thoughts that weren't even original. I won't take it personally. I am just glad you viewed it. So much on my mind but as usual not much time. I will just say that although I am waking up early & h...	Hoot Nanny	4	434	Oct 15, 2011 by nmike
	safety and trust (Preview) As I said before, I am feeling low. I am thinking it may be because of hormones but also, maybe I am not feeling very 'safe'. I do not trust anyone in my life to allow anyone close enough to allow me to feel What I want right now, is someone to hold me tight while I cry and rock and bawl my eyes out and scream out t...	Lindaoakford	14	404	Oct 15, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	feeling low (Preview) This always happens. I start to feel good and then my moods, energies and mind all backfire on me. Its like my body sould won't allow me to feel good about things for too long. I am sitting here thinking I am bipolar!!!! I just want to crawl under the blankets and disregard the world and everyone in it. Y...	Lindaoakford	9	449	Oct 15, 2011 by rosielee
	Can anyone help me understand? (Preview) I am writing with so much heartbreak and emotion. The man who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with has changed so much that I had to leave. He drinks constantly. In the morning, before work, on his breaks, after work. He has been in two car accidents. One where he got a dui and almost killed himsel...	catiegirl	10	514	Oct 14, 2011 by catiegirl
	Guilt (Preview) I was sick yesterday, had a stomach thing going on, and so I called out of work. I am wondering why I always feel so guilty when I call out (Haven't called out since February) and my sponsor helped me with that yesterday. She said to pray, stop and meditate...stop the chaos from running around in my head...	youfoundme	10	543	Oct 14, 2011 by youfoundme
	faceing the truth is hard to do (Preview) im really am going through the greiveing process i know,this is like a nightmare,lol never would have thought it cause he is not even close to the one i would even marry,but here i am just trying to muddle through allthe pains the best way i can with out faling off the edge ,and just by thinking i might have...	lookingup	6	591	Oct 14, 2011 by rrib
	if the pain i'm in is anything like the pain of the addict, there's a small amount of understanding in me .. (Preview) today i was driving along .. this pain is really something .. be it self inflicted or the fact i truly miss my addict and genuinely love this man .. ok mixed in with the fact i want to fix save him and at this point in time near pity him .. but was beginning to feel such intense pain i wondered if it were anything...	MeTwo2	9	545	Oct 14, 2011 by MeTwo2
	Just for this mili second! (Preview) It makes no real "sense" to want him back. He is not good for me and there would only be pain and confusion. No matter the reasons - No matter what I think I want. It's like wanting something that is bad for me. It makes no real sense for him to drink, long term there is only pain and confusion, no m...	glad	5	329	Oct 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	Dilemma (Preview) I am new to alanon and this board. I am also one-week separated. My dilemma is that my newly exed A and I are attended a conference in a couple of weeks. Actually, it's for my work, he happens to be a speaker. I've made arrangements to not have to sit with him on the flight and advised him that he needs to make h...	luvsapd	16	610	Oct 13, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	for crying out loud (Preview) well ive really enjoyed reading al the posts on separating from the a,i separated 6 mths ago broke it off completely,changed my ph.# and even blocked him off my internet, found me a real good b/f soi thought ive been dumped cant count how many times ,lol then i get a disturbing phone call from my freind sa...	lookingup	8	573	Oct 13, 2011 by lookingup
	thanx to all of the esh that just came flowing in (Preview) yes it hurts and thats just part of it and i may be being played i dunno,and i could be just setting myself up for another big disappointment like always im good at that setting my self up he may and he may not ever call me agin,i know how they r when they find them a new cody to use ,they push the old away in a min....	lookingup	1	245	Oct 13, 2011 by glad
	Leaving him to sleep on the couch...loving detachment...? (Preview) Tonight my qualifier drank, not a lot but enough to give him that little attitude and so I kind of got one too for a bit. I started to want to get into it with him, but I remembered some of my tools and I decided to do some laundry and go up stairs with the lap top to work on some photography stuff. I prayed for s...	youfoundme	13	573	Oct 13, 2011 by sookie
	The camel is broken (Preview) The last two months have been truly awful. Weekly if not biweekly occurences of major medical treatments or surgeries for myself or immediate family members, the weaning process from my treatment, losing Sully, the death of a close friend, business is struggling, school is in full swing. I was p...	Jennifer	11	783	Oct 13, 2011 by Jennifer
	12 Steps and 12 Traditions in Al Anon - Step 9 Steps Books (Preview) Hey group - quick request. Does anyone have the book "12 Steps and 12 Traditions on Al Anon" and access to a scanner or fax machine? I'm chairing a step meeting this evening and the format of the meeting is that we read from that book on the step we're studying (tonight is step 9) and I've trie...	Mlkiss75	2	4034	Oct 13, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Thoughts on car ignition locks? (Preview) I'm curious to hear how others feel about installing a car ingnition lock on a vehicle to prevent someone from driving while drunk. I know they are sometimes required if someone gets a DWI, but I don't know if it can be done voluntarily? My wife is demonstrating that she is not in control and nearly drove...	usedtobeanyer	10	542	Oct 13, 2011 by mr5191
	Emotional risks .. (Preview) It's been a LONG week and it's only Wednesday .. lol. I've really been struggling this week with a lot of emotional garbage that needs to be processed just to get to the other side. My insecurities are rearing up in a bad way. I'm sure some of it is a HHALT. Hormonal, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired total...	Pushka	4	429	Oct 13, 2011 by rosielee
	addiction poem (Preview) I love you like.. Did you hear me? I love you like... You won't come near me? I love you like it's a question. Like... If I say it enough will you give me affection?? A sign, a glimmer of hope? I love you like the memory. The memory of what it was like, what it should be. But see, that's just me. Imagining... All...	kris10	2	382	Oct 13, 2011 by youfoundme
	I can feel changes (Preview) Hi I think I can feel some changes in me. This is a good thing. I am usually so controlling it isn't funny. In the past, I have found out that my husband finished work early and didn't tell me, Igot home and he was already there.... I was angry, I was upset that I didn't know what was happening, Why would yo...	Lindaoakford	8	467	Oct 12, 2011 by Pushka
	After rehab how did you do it? (Preview) In short, my husband has been in and out of rehab for the past four years and has not worked. I have supported him 100% from his sobriety attempts to handling all of the financial responsibility. We had a baby at the beginning of the year and he went into Full blown drinking every day all day mode then picke...	ToBeHappy	10	878	Oct 12, 2011 by ToBeHappy
	Should I keep my son away from his father? (Preview) My partner (my 6-year-old son's father) is an alcoholic with a history of near death experiences. He can go from 1-3 years sober. But when he falls off the wagon, it is always under very traumatic circumstances. After a year and a half of sobriety, I finally allowed him to move back in with us. I then tru...	Camille Le Montre	14	701	Oct 12, 2011 by Pushka
	advice how to deal with a hostile coworker (Preview) Hi Everyone, I teach part-time at a high school. Last spring when I was about to hop on my bike and ride home after classes a coworker confronted me at the bike rack and began to accuse me of ignoring him, treating him badly, not respecting him. He was shaking and had that "look" in his eyes that...	Patk	10	667	Oct 12, 2011 by Patk
	Learning how to live... (Preview) [video=]	John	6	456	Oct 12, 2011 by GailMichelle
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.