Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Anyone believe that dreams and nightmares are our subconscious talking to us??? It may not sound like an Al Anon post, but it is in so much as what we are processing in our minds and how we 'think' things. I noticed a dream post the other day that was very positive. I have always had nightmares. Terrify...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

So thankful I found this board. So disappointed to find out that while I thought my AH had not been drinking whiskey and only the occasional glass of wine it turns out he's been drinking this whole time. I know that I can't change it, can't cure it can't control it. I know that I have to let go of it. I know tha...

daisy31 · daisy31

I have been becoming more aware of a friendship that is not supportive to me anymore. I have tried and tried to stay in it but no longer can stand the blindness. Her and I would go to starbucks coffee together and she would douse me with her problems and I had no room for me at all. Her husband is breakin...

Pushka · Pushka

It's Driving Day tomorrow woo hoo. Actually I have a LOT of relief going on right now. I no longer am responsible for driving my AH to and from places. I feel so free. I am chuckling a little because I just found out that I still have one more pick up time tonight. I think AH is having a little harder time...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I really appreciate those of you who follow my goings on... thankyou. I don't always agree but I do listen and try to open my mind to all the input. This morning I woke up with feelings of intense anger. I was yelling and arguing with him in my head. He was sound asleep next to me..... snug as a bug etc. I ju...

soulhavoc · soulhavoc

Hello, I just assumed I should introduce myself and state my reason for being here. I made the classic girl's mistake. I was raised by an alcholic father and then I married a man just like my daddy. I have been married to hm for 15 years and with him for 17. We do not have children together but he has been the f...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

so i met my x at the park with our daughter for her first visit .. it's hard .. first off i just have to say .. he looks good .. dressed nice .. happier .. and honestly and .. hurtfully speaking, he looks happier than he ever did with me .. yet i still have feelings for him .. it was hard, sad .. yet i was unexpecte...

pineapple · pineapple

Boy, I've missed this place! Today is the first time in 10 days it hasn't been raining here. It was pretty bad- flooding, power outages, trees down, road closed, etc. We haven't had internet for all that time and I couldn't get into town. I was starting to feel more than a little down. But the sun is shinin...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

my daughter's dad and i begin visitation tomorrow .. I'm sick with the idea of seeing him .. sick because i'm in that frame of mine where if i feel something it should still be .. it would be so much easier if i had absolutely no feelings left for him but i'm powerless over the effects .. it hurts to see him a...

Jules1011 · Jules1011

I asked my partner to leave on Saturday after having such a stressful few weeks, I have been to two f2f meetings and wanted to go to one this morning but my alarm was at the wrong time! When we are arguing he pushed me to the very edge of distress and as soon as he thought I was going to leave he would turn this ar...

mackinac · mackinac

Hi guys, I am new to this. As a matter of fact I am not sure I am doing this posting correctly. I am married to an alcoholic. I am not sure how often he drinks, or how muh. it varies, sometimes a few bottles (the ones that can fit in your pants), I imagine someitmes less. I guess the amount is irrelevant. It aff...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

My inlaws will be coming into town for the holidays. They stay for several weeks (not with us--they have a place of their own). I don't know whether I should talk with them about my AH. We are at the point where it feels like AH's disease is increasing exponentially each day. My therapist (specializes i...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm grasping the idea that it is ok to be perfectly imperfect and people love me anyway. I might not always say the right thing or do the right thing, I can only try to do the best that I can in any given moment. Sometimes it's all just dumb luck that I come close to saying or doing the right thing .. lol. Som...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I recently referenced the 5 G's in Alanon responding to a post. For those of you who would like to know where I borrowed them from they are in our literature on PP 122, Hope for Today, May 1st reading. The reading references they were originally published in an out of print Forum magazine volume 4 PP 14...

amills4294 · amills4294

Well just got off the phone with my mom. She is the alcoholic in denial in my life and has been one most of my life. Her mom died at 39 from alcohol and painkillers - her body just wasted away. My mom has never admitted to that. She lied to us about how she died. I ordered the death certificate when I was hav...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, not looking for advice so much as I'm just looking to vent. First, please understand that I know the seriousness of this situation. A week ago today, my wife got falling down drunk while our kids were at preschool. She somehow managed to drive the 5 miles from our home to the school to pick up the ki...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey guys, I just need a hug, or comfort, or something. I've been trying to do the right things - exercise, friends, staying busy, etc...but just when I feel a bit better my ex RA comes into the picture and slams me again. This time I got slammed HARD. He found the storage unit after having difficulties...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi All :0) First a Mini Update... MIL Home & Doing Alot Better..

. & Gram is HOME :)

And Back to Put'n around Like only she knows how... So BIG THANK YOU To All of You that Kept us in your Prayers... They have Lifted them all back to "Better" health, and on their way to Recov...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I finally got Step 1, and my sponsor and I are going to have a meeting about it in the next few days. I feel pretty good about it. All that said (and you know I have been trying to *GET* step one for a while now, when I finally surrendered to it, I got it..) I had this dream last night that was really vivid and re...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

Yesterday my Abf came home after visting one of his friends from work and going to his parents house. I knew that he was at this person's house and knew that he would be drinking before I even talked to him. When he got home I could tell that he had been drinking and just ignored it. I didnt ask and I didn't bri...

kris10 · kris10

I am 28 years old. I have piercings and tattoos. I have short (changing from week to week ) rainbow colors in my hair. I ride a hot pink skateboard. I like to wear holy jeans. I prefure my funky glasses over contacts any day. I listen to my music loud. And I drive my car fast. I probably smoke entirely way to ma...

jmanning · jmanning

Well it started out a good day. Spent the day with a friend we went shopping and used coupons for the first time. And I was so proud of what I got for the little money I spent. Then we did lunch and then went to her moms and clipped coupons and talked. I really enjoyed the day. Got home unloaded the car and got li...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Just watched this movie called 28 Days (from 2000, with Sandra Bullock)... I actually didn't mind it so much. Normally these rehab type movies seem so fake. The place she was at in the movie had Equine Therapy and one line stuck out at me. They had to get the horse to lift its back hoof to clean the hoof...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI So I have not been travelling real well lately. Gave in and had the heart to heart with my husband this morning. Basically he has laid down the law as I see it and has allowed me the choice to be part of it or not. He is going to increase his camping and fishing and hunting activities, and he is not going to...

nyc018 · nyc018

Ive writen many posts writing about the dilemma I have with my family (mom, etc). Well, I have a pretty big one with my MIL AHs mom. Here's the story: MIL was an RA having been sober 22 years until this July. She relapsed, twice, buckling from the pressure of seeing her sons (my AH) descent from alcoholism...

amills4294 · amills4294

Hello all - I was asked to "introduce" myself to the forum as it shows that I'm a "newbie" :). I actually had been on here before and then in haste removed myself and then came back, so, yes I'm new but not that new. Same username. I'm an adult child of an alcoholic (my mom). I'm on m...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

I feel like I'm growing. Last year my wife's disease progressed to my bottom. We are currently seperated, my wife lives in a condo that we bought together, I live in the familiy house. In addition to the addiction there were also infidelities by her in our marriage, I am not sure how much was related t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I spent some time w/ my MOM before I got on this computer. She wanted me to help her find my step-father's grave site & I complied. It was a little difficult to find but we found it. This is actually not morbid at all--I actually didn't mind the whole scenario. Things go well w/ her sometimes that I can a...

atheos · atheos

Tonight, I really needed a meeting, and there wasn't one nearby. I wound up driving half an hour to another town, but it was worth it... I heard something I really needed to hear -- "when you compare your rough inside to somebody else's polished outside, you always come out on the bottom". An...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Many many times I have mentioned my MOM. I love her I do but she can drive me up the wall! On Sat. I wanted to spend time w/ a friend who I rarely get to spend time at her home. I am mentioning this now because I couldn't get on here later on Sat. Anyhow, I was alerted by my mom via my H that I was supposed to go out w/ h...

Sarah_Winters · Sarah_Winters

I don't know where to begin. Should I start with when my brother was 17 and started drinking and I knew, I 'xxxx' knew he had this problem even when I was 14? Well, he's 30 something now and it's the same old story. He gets drunk, he has DUIs, he does drugs. I walk around with a knot in my stomach because I know...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, It's been some time since I've come to this site. I miss it. Lately it seems I can barely find time to think. The baby is teething, still nursing, and I am still working full-time while my AH has been unemployed for 1 1/2 yrs. I have hardly made it to meetings. My "recovering"...

amills4294 · amills4294

I will bring this up at alanon face to face - I haven't found a sponsor yet. But I'm having a terrible time with being triggered by others. I know I'm responsible for how I react but it's really becoming overwhelming. My spouse and I have been separated for 14 months and have discussed having a trial ba...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I've been reading, and reading, going back through the many pages of posting. My schedule is so crazy that finding a face to face meeting just doesn't seem possible at this time, but I keep checking to see if I can find one that I could go to. I'm starting to see a pattern, every time I speak about the positi...

Katy · Katy

I am learning to enjoy the quiet times, and trying to think no news is good news, that was the case this last week, our son went out Tuesday and when I phoned him about him coming home for dinner he was already drunk, around 5pm, of course he said he wasn't, as they do, he usually doesn,'t come home now after...

rehprof · rehprof

One of the things everyone keeps saying is "take care of yourself." After 28 years of living with an abusive AH, and being so focused on keeping him happy and our life stable...I have realized that I am SO disconnected from my own needs that when someone says "take care of yourself&quo...

sickgirl · sickgirl

Can someone help me understand what is happening with my boyfriend? He is a severe alcoholic (1-2 cases a day. Around the clock for the first 2 weeks of the month). Yesterday was day 3 of his not drinking. It was pleasant, he seemed fine except a few shakes here and there. Today he started out very snappy....

rosielee · rosielee

this is the run down- my mum has borderline personality disorder with narcissistic traits- i committed the cardinal sin of forgetting her birthday.she phone up to tell me i had forgotten- but as narcissists do- she put loads of emotional baggage onto me and it was the tip of the iceberg as several time...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

Hi everyone i'm new here and have been reading through the post. I am 26 and engaged to an alcoholic. We have been together for a year and 8 months. He got his 3rd dui back in April while driving my truck which has caused me some problems with my insurance. He has admitted that he has a problem and has been goi...

rara avis · rara avis

Welllll....my ex RA has been very silent, but left messages on my phone last night. He wants to meet in a neutral place, because he feels he 'hasn't been heard.' He said if I'd just told him he was going to lose me, instead of leaving a note and running, he would have shaped up. He also said I was playing a dan...

clep · clep

I started going to a naturopath many months ago for multiple things. My MD couldn't fix the issues and most were in my pelvis. My naturopath tells me that the stress from relationship issues are stored in the pelvis. It has finally caught up with me. In the last two weeks, I have had hip pain. I starte...

glad · glad

I went to a ladies meet and greet tonight organized by a local church. Just ladies getting together for fun. I got to be around people who are similar to me and and seemed to like me for me. It was reinforced to me that I am secure, it was the alcoholism that made me seem so insecure... I even said the closing p...

Pushka · Pushka

So today has been a much better day than yesterday was, my AH and I had a really great evening. He slept which I am more than ok with, he works his butt off every day of the week. Before he napped he was out bbqing in the rain, God love him, he's got more moxie than I do at times. I am looking forward to tomorro...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

In the "normie" world, the world where addiction doesn't reign supreme, I imagine a family trip is something fun to plan. I used to have fun planning our family trips before addiction demanded we invite it everywhere. Now... it is hard. Addiction takes up so much space there isn't a lot of r...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Last night my AH got out of hand with the drinking. I went downstairs around midnight to see what the heck was going on downstairs because I heard all this commotion. He was taking a beer outside and then putting it in the pool. Then he stumbled around the side yard and threw out his paper bag in the tras...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So it's been six months since I decided to leave my AH of 29 years. As I was driving home from work today, I had an "aha" moment. I keep wondering why he doesn't try to reach out and contact me. I check my phone everyday for a text or voicemail, and it's not there. I usually call him once a week just t...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My ex periodically sends me names of songs to listen to (or links to youtube videos) - mostly about me breaking his heart, or how his heart is broken, how could I say goodbye, how could I.... you know? Are there any songs that very specifically address choosing to not be with someone because of their addi...

glad · glad

In real life bombs do go off... I was surprised to learn that there are aprox. 14 times per month in my area, that the fire dept. / bomb squad goes on real calls that involve actual bombs designed to hurt and kill people. There are living among us real "gangs" and all kinds of scary groups. On the...

Mylife · Mylife

I am now living with my AM. Years ago when I left her and moved out she almost died. She ended up in the hospital detoxing and going through Physio for 2 months...and then she was sober for about 11 years. She is drinking again, but trying to hide it from me. She is rarely drunk in my presense but I know she is d...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

For over a year, I have been begging and pleading, bargaining and reasoning with my alcoholic husband, trying ANYTHING to get him to stop drinking. I figured out how to detach with love last week. He drank all week, then stopped yesterday. He feels lousy today, shaky and dehydrated, but he's pushing t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I was drawn back to Hawaiilover's original post on this subject because after I read and supported I was reminded of an inventory I did on my relationship and marriage to the alcoholic/addict in my life and it went like this. "She's such a bitch...goes out gets drunk and loaded and sleeps with e...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

AH and I are off tomorrow for a 5 day vacation without our son. It's a business incentive trip for his company and we'll be in the Caribbean. I'm actually very nervous to be alone with him for so long. Is he going to drink(everyone else will be getting trashed like they do every year), is he going to be ki...

nyc018 · nyc018

I posted in the past about the same issue so apologies if I'm repeating myself. Just need to vent since I got an earful from my mom again this morning about AH, from whom Im separated. Long story short AH had a break down this summer, ended up in rehab, and lost his job as a result of his absenteeism caused by...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

He came home from fishing. He rang when he was on his way in.. I was at lunch with a friend. I didn't get home until about another hour. I quite obviously disturbed their afternoon as he friend came out and opened the gate for me with a bong in his hand. My husband appeared a few minutes later. Stoned and...

Cupcake · Cupcake

Today I went to the gym to work out. It wasn't too busy or full of the muscle heads building their biceps - sometimes it's eye candy, sometimes just ridiculous. Anyway, I started looking around and I noticed a few things. An old man on the treadmill, walking and reading a book with the pages held down w...

Wendie · Wendie

I am going through many family adjustments & my AH is really not supportively there for me...it truly is like 'going to the Hardware store for bread'. I attended a meeting tonight & on the way home, I decided to bring home a simple inexpensive meal to share w/him. Upon arriving home, there he wa...

blupaisan · blupaisan

i thought i caught my bf using. he denies it. i thought i had evidence. he explains it away. i want soo much to trust him. doesnt trusting him do good things for him? how do i know when it might be enabling him to cheat? i dont know how to handle this. i expect the same thing to happen again, and want to be...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi Everyone, The thought of taking a break from this board has been popping into my mind the past few months. It's nothing personal! I've always felt love and acceptance here by all. There's something going on inside of me that I want to clarify. To take a break is a gut feeling. I can't explain it oth...

atheos · atheos

Since starting my new job and moving to a dayshift, I haven't been able to go to my morning homegroup any more, and haven't gotten around to finding new meetings (I tend to stress out about meeting new people, so I've been putting it off). Amazing how much things can start to slip without me even realizin...

jmanning · jmanning

I haven't posted in about 2 weeks. But its been 1 month since by AH went to jail. We have heard that hopefully he will be getting sent to to rehab this week, that means he will be home in 9 months. We have had many heart to heart talks and he is looking forward to rehab. He wants to stay sober. He also has been get...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	nightmares (Preview) Anyone believe that dreams and nightmares are our subconscious talking to us??? It may not sound like an Al Anon post, but it is in so much as what we are processing in our minds and how we 'think' things. I noticed a dream post the other day that was very positive. I have always had nightmares. Terrify...	Lindaoakford	7	753	Oct 21, 2011 by youfoundme
	Turns out (Preview) So thankful I found this board. So disappointed to find out that while I thought my AH had not been drinking whiskey and only the occasional glass of wine it turns out he's been drinking this whole time. I know that I can't change it, can't cure it can't control it. I know that I have to let go of it. I know tha...	Jackie11	13	757	Oct 21, 2011 by Jackie11
	I ended our unhealthy friendship...it is bitter sweet. (Preview) I have been becoming more aware of a friendship that is not supportive to me anymore. I have tried and tried to stay in it but no longer can stand the blindness. Her and I would go to starbucks coffee together and she would douse me with her problems and I had no room for me at all. Her husband is breakin...	daisy31	4	1489	Oct 21, 2011 by Pushka
	D day is tomorrow .. (Preview) It's Driving Day tomorrow woo hoo. Actually I have a LOT of relief going on right now. I no longer am responsible for driving my AH to and from places. I feel so free. I am chuckling a little because I just found out that I still have one more pick up time tonight. I think AH is having a little harder time...	Pushka	5	623	Oct 21, 2011 by youfoundme
	update - long post as per usual for me (Preview) I really appreciate those of you who follow my goings on... thankyou. I don't always agree but I do listen and try to open my mind to all the input. This morning I woke up with feelings of intense anger. I was yelling and arguing with him in my head. He was sound asleep next to me..... snug as a bug etc. I ju...	Lindaoakford	29	848	Oct 21, 2011 by kris10
	Hello New Guest (Preview) Hello, I just assumed I should introduce myself and state my reason for being here. I made the classic girl's mistake. I was raised by an alcholic father and then I married a man just like my daddy. I have been married to hm for 15 years and with him for 17. We do not have children together but he has been the f...	soulhavoc	10	880	Oct 20, 2011 by flopadopilus
	one visit ended now .. second on sunday .. ugh .. one day at a time .. (is all i could handle) (Preview) so i met my x at the park with our daughter for her first visit .. it's hard .. first off i just have to say .. he looks good .. dressed nice .. happier .. and honestly and .. hurtfully speaking, he looks happier than he ever did with me .. yet i still have feelings for him .. it was hard, sad .. yet i was unexpecte...	MeTwo2	4	528	Oct 20, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	So glad to be back (Preview) Boy, I've missed this place! Today is the first time in 10 days it hasn't been raining here. It was pretty bad- flooding, power outages, trees down, road closed, etc. We haven't had internet for all that time and I couldn't get into town. I was starting to feel more than a little down. But the sun is shinin...	pineapple	6	396	Oct 20, 2011 by Jozie
	Need strength .. visits begin tomorrow .. (Preview) my daughter's dad and i begin visitation tomorrow .. I'm sick with the idea of seeing him .. sick because i'm in that frame of mine where if i feel something it should still be .. it would be so much easier if i had absolutely no feelings left for him but i'm powerless over the effects .. it hurts to see him a...	MeTwo2	6	465	Oct 20, 2011 by MeTwo2
	Ive done it......need strength now! (Preview) I asked my partner to leave on Saturday after having such a stressful few weeks, I have been to two f2f meetings and wanted to go to one this morning but my alarm was at the wrong time! When we are arguing he pushed me to the very edge of distress and as soon as he thought I was going to leave he would turn this ar...	Jules1011	14	740	Oct 20, 2011 by rrib
	help (Preview) Hi guys, I am new to this. As a matter of fact I am not sure I am doing this posting correctly. I am married to an alcoholic. I am not sure how often he drinks, or how muh. it varies, sometimes a few bottles (the ones that can fit in your pants), I imagine someitmes less. I guess the amount is irrelevant. It aff...	mackinac	8	699	Oct 20, 2011 by rrib
	To tell or not to tell--thinking things through (Preview) My inlaws will be coming into town for the holidays. They stay for several weeks (not with us--they have a place of their own). I don't know whether I should talk with them about my AH. We are at the point where it feels like AH's disease is increasing exponentially each day. My therapist (specializes i...	Very Very Tired	11	576	Oct 20, 2011 by Very Very Tired
	Perfectly Imperfect .. (Preview) I'm grasping the idea that it is ok to be perfectly imperfect and people love me anyway. I might not always say the right thing or do the right thing, I can only try to do the best that I can in any given moment. Sometimes it's all just dumb luck that I come close to saying or doing the right thing .. lol. Som...	Pushka	5	488	Oct 20, 2011 by Jozie
	5 G's of Alanon (Preview) I recently referenced the 5 G's in Alanon responding to a post. For those of you who would like to know where I borrowed them from they are in our literature on PP 122, Hope for Today, May 1st reading. The reading references they were originally published in an out of print Forum magazine volume 4 PP 14...	tommyecat	8	4412	Oct 20, 2011 by Jozie
	My alcoholic mom (Preview) Well just got off the phone with my mom. She is the alcoholic in denial in my life and has been one most of my life. Her mom died at 39 from alcohol and painkillers - her body just wasted away. My mom has never admitted to that. She lied to us about how she died. I ordered the death certificate when I was hav...	amills4294	3	401	Oct 20, 2011 by rosielee
	What happens next? (Preview) Hi all, not looking for advice so much as I'm just looking to vent. First, please understand that I know the seriousness of this situation. A week ago today, my wife got falling down drunk while our kids were at preschool. She somehow managed to drive the 5 miles from our home to the school to pick up the ki...	usedtobeanyer	9	587	Oct 20, 2011 by soulhavoc
	feel awful, this nightmare [ ex RA ] won't leave me alone (Preview) Hey guys, I just need a hug, or comfort, or something. I've been trying to do the right things - exercise, friends, staying busy, etc...but just when I feel a bit better my ex RA comes into the picture and slams me again. This time I got slammed HARD. He found the storage unit after having difficulties...	rara avis	12	656	Oct 20, 2011 by rara avis
	Free to Be Me... & UPDATE.. (Preview) Hi All :0) First a Mini Update... MIL Home & Doing Alot Better.. . & Gram is HOME :) And Back to Put'n around Like only she knows how... So BIG THANK YOU To All of You that Kept us in your Prayers... They have Lifted them all back to "Better" health, and on their way to Recov...	Jozie	4	600	Oct 19, 2011 by hotrod
	A break through? (Preview) I finally got Step 1, and my sponsor and I are going to have a meeting about it in the next few days. I feel pretty good about it. All that said (and you know I have been trying to GET step one for a while now, when I finally surrendered to it, I got it..) I had this dream last night that was really vivid and re...	youfoundme	8	457	Oct 19, 2011 by rrib
	Telling him "I know" (Preview) Yesterday my Abf came home after visting one of his friends from work and going to his parents house. I knew that he was at this person's house and knew that he would be drinking before I even talked to him. When he got home I could tell that he had been drinking and just ignored it. I didnt ask and I didn't bri...	HoofnIt	15	827	Oct 19, 2011 by HoofnIt
	assumptions... (Preview) I am 28 years old. I have piercings and tattoos. I have short (changing from week to week ) rainbow colors in my hair. I ride a hot pink skateboard. I like to wear holy jeans. I prefure my funky glasses over contacts any day. I listen to my music loud. And I drive my car fast. I probably smoke entirely way to ma...	kris10	12	740	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I am just tired.................... (Preview) Well it started out a good day. Spent the day with a friend we went shopping and used coupons for the first time. And I was so proud of what I got for the little money I spent. Then we did lunch and then went to her moms and clipped coupons and talked. I really enjoyed the day. Got home unloaded the car and got li...	jmanning	7	512	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	28 days and finding my feelings and resolve (Preview) Just watched this movie called 28 Days (from 2000, with Sandra Bullock)... I actually didn't mind it so much. Normally these rehab type movies seem so fake. The place she was at in the movie had Equine Therapy and one line stuck out at me. They had to get the horse to lift its back hoof to clean the hoof...	youfoundme	5	602	Oct 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	abandonment issues? (Preview) HI So I have not been travelling real well lately. Gave in and had the heart to heart with my husband this morning. Basically he has laid down the law as I see it and has allowed me the choice to be part of it or not. He is going to increase his camping and fishing and hunting activities, and he is not going to...	Lindaoakford	15	1647	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Boundaries (Preview) Ive writen many posts writing about the dilemma I have with my family (mom, etc). Well, I have a pretty big one with my MIL AHs mom. Here's the story: MIL was an RA having been sober 22 years until this July. She relapsed, twice, buckling from the pressure of seeing her sons (my AH) descent from alcoholism...	nyc018	5	616	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	introduction (Preview) Hello all - I was asked to "introduce" myself to the forum as it shows that I'm a "newbie" :). I actually had been on here before and then in haste removed myself and then came back, so, yes I'm new but not that new. Same username. I'm an adult child of an alcoholic (my mom). I'm on m...	amills4294	6	587	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	just talkin' (Preview) I feel like I'm growing. Last year my wife's disease progressed to my bottom. We are currently seperated, my wife lives in a condo that we bought together, I live in the familiy house. In addition to the addiction there were also infidelities by her in our marriage, I am not sure how much was related t...	DadtoCandE	3	574	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	things are a little better already! (Preview) I spent some time w/ my MOM before I got on this computer. She wanted me to help her find my step-father's grave site & I complied. It was a little difficult to find but we found it. This is actually not morbid at all--I actually didn't mind the whole scenario. Things go well w/ her sometimes that I can a...	Hoot Nanny	3	631	Oct 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I'm keeping a journal and it's PRIVATE! (Preview) Tonight, I really needed a meeting, and there wasn't one nearby. I wound up driving half an hour to another town, but it was worth it... I heard something I really needed to hear -- "when you compare your rough inside to somebody else's polished outside, you always come out on the bottom". An...	atheos	8	506	Oct 18, 2011 by MDK
	what do I do w/ an impatient mother? (Preview) Many many times I have mentioned my MOM. I love her I do but she can drive me up the wall! On Sat. I wanted to spend time w/ a friend who I rarely get to spend time at her home. I am mentioning this now because I couldn't get on here later on Sat. Anyhow, I was alerted by my mom via my H that I was supposed to go out w/ h...	Hoot Nanny	6	1065	Oct 18, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Intro. Hoping for help (Preview) I don't know where to begin. Should I start with when my brother was 17 and started drinking and I knew, I 'xxxx' knew he had this problem even when I was 14? Well, he's 30 something now and it's the same old story. He gets drunk, he has DUIs, he does drugs. I walk around with a knot in my stomach because I know...	Sarah_Winters	7	552	Oct 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	Re-emerging (Preview) Hi Everyone, It's been some time since I've come to this site. I miss it. Lately it seems I can barely find time to think. The baby is teething, still nursing, and I am still working full-time while my AH has been unemployed for 1 1/2 yrs. I have hardly made it to meetings. My "recovering"...	KLotus	5	612	Oct 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	reacting to others that "trigger" fear in me (Preview) I will bring this up at alanon face to face - I haven't found a sponsor yet. But I'm having a terrible time with being triggered by others. I know I'm responsible for how I react but it's really becoming overwhelming. My spouse and I have been separated for 14 months and have discussed having a trial ba...	amills4294	6	462	Oct 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	3 steps forward 2 steps back (Preview) I've been reading, and reading, going back through the many pages of posting. My schedule is so crazy that finding a face to face meeting just doesn't seem possible at this time, but I keep checking to see if I can find one that I could go to. I'm starting to see a pattern, every time I speak about the positi...	Jackie11	6	483	Oct 18, 2011 by Jackie11
	So sad today and hurting! (Preview) I am learning to enjoy the quiet times, and trying to think no news is good news, that was the case this last week, our son went out Tuesday and when I phoned him about him coming home for dinner he was already drunk, around 5pm, of course he said he wasn't, as they do, he usually doesn,'t come home now after...	Katy	8	502	Oct 18, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Don't know how to take care of me! (Preview) One of the things everyone keeps saying is "take care of yourself." After 28 years of living with an abusive AH, and being so focused on keeping him happy and our life stable...I have realized that I am SO disconnected from my own needs that when someone says "take care of yourself&quo...	rehprof	10	623	Oct 18, 2011 by flopadopilus
	HELP NEEDED - BF has just left me and son 3 days after trying to stop drinking. (Preview) Can someone help me understand what is happening with my boyfriend? He is a severe alcoholic (1-2 cases a day. Around the clock for the first 2 weeks of the month). Yesterday was day 3 of his not drinking. It was pleasant, he seemed fine except a few shakes here and there. Today he started out very snappy....	sickgirl	10	578	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	my mum phoned up....and i answered it!! (Preview) this is the run down- my mum has borderline personality disorder with narcissistic traits- i committed the cardinal sin of forgetting her birthday.she phone up to tell me i had forgotten- but as narcissists do- she put loads of emotional baggage onto me and it was the tip of the iceberg as several time...	rosielee	6	433	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	1st time here. Looking for guidance. (Preview) Hi everyone i'm new here and have been reading through the post. I am 26 and engaged to an alcoholic. We have been together for a year and 8 months. He got his 3rd dui back in April while driving my truck which has caused me some problems with my insurance. He has admitted that he has a problem and has been goi...	HoofnIt	15	700	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	ESH on the adult thing to do? (Preview) Welllll....my ex RA has been very silent, but left messages on my phone last night. He wants to meet in a neutral place, because he feels he 'hasn't been heard.' He said if I'd just told him he was going to lose me, instead of leaving a note and running, he would have shaped up. He also said I was playing a dan...	rara avis	18	674	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Stress (Preview) I started going to a naturopath many months ago for multiple things. My MD couldn't fix the issues and most were in my pelvis. My naturopath tells me that the stress from relationship issues are stored in the pelvis. It has finally caught up with me. In the last two weeks, I have had hip pain. I starte...	clep	3	534	Oct 17, 2011 by clep
	Blessings come in small little packages! (Preview) I went to a ladies meet and greet tonight organized by a local church. Just ladies getting together for fun. I got to be around people who are similar to me and and seemed to like me for me. It was reinforced to me that I am secure, it was the alcoholism that made me seem so insecure... I even said the closing p...	glad	3	500	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Better day .. (Preview) So today has been a much better day than yesterday was, my AH and I had a really great evening. He slept which I am more than ok with, he works his butt off every day of the week. Before he napped he was out bbqing in the rain, God love him, he's got more moxie than I do at times. I am looking forward to tomorro...	Pushka	8	441	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Addiction wins again (Preview) In the "normie" world, the world where addiction doesn't reign supreme, I imagine a family trip is something fun to plan. I used to have fun planning our family trips before addiction demanded we invite it everywhere. Now... it is hard. Addiction takes up so much space there isn't a lot of r...	Very Very Tired	11	709	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	So ticked off right now. What do I do/say? (Preview) Last night my AH got out of hand with the drinking. I went downstairs around midnight to see what the heck was going on downstairs because I heard all this commotion. He was taking a beer outside and then putting it in the pool. Then he stumbled around the side yard and threw out his paper bag in the tras...	ilovedogs	15	636	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Separation is Tough separation denial (Preview) So it's been six months since I decided to leave my AH of 29 years. As I was driving home from work today, I had an "aha" moment. I keep wondering why he doesn't try to reach out and contact me. I check my phone everyday for a text or voicemail, and it's not there. I usually call him once a week just t...	Green Eyes	10	9686	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	meaningful song (Preview) My ex periodically sends me names of songs to listen to (or links to youtube videos) - mostly about me breaking his heart, or how his heart is broken, how could I say goodbye, how could I.... you know? Are there any songs that very specifically address choosing to not be with someone because of their addi...	likemyheart	11	460	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	real life (Preview) In real life bombs do go off... I was surprised to learn that there are aprox. 14 times per month in my area, that the fire dept. / bomb squad goes on real calls that involve actual bombs designed to hurt and kill people. There are living among us real "gangs" and all kinds of scary groups. On the...	glad	5	446	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	How to come to terms with the fact that my AM is killing herself? (Preview) I am now living with my AM. Years ago when I left her and moved out she almost died. She ended up in the hospital detoxing and going through Physio for 2 months...and then she was sober for about 11 years. She is drinking again, but trying to hide it from me. She is rarely drunk in my presense but I know she is d...	Mylife	5	500	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	It really works! (Preview) For over a year, I have been begging and pleading, bargaining and reasoning with my alcoholic husband, trying ANYTHING to get him to stop drinking. I figured out how to detach with love last week. He drank all week, then stopped yesterday. He feels lousy today, shaky and dehydrated, but he's pushing t...	Mlkiss75	5	430	Oct 17, 2011 by Jerry F
	Infidelity and Betrayal - revisited (Preview) I was drawn back to Hawaiilover's original post on this subject because after I read and supported I was reminded of an inventory I did on my relationship and marriage to the alcoholic/addict in my life and it went like this. "She's such a bitch...goes out gets drunk and loaded and sleeps with e...	Jerry F	15	909	Oct 17, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Wish me luck and prayers (Preview) AH and I are off tomorrow for a 5 day vacation without our son. It's a business incentive trip for his company and we'll be in the Caribbean. I'm actually very nervous to be alone with him for so long. Is he going to drink(everyone else will be getting trashed like they do every year), is he going to be ki...	ilovedogs	6	475	Oct 17, 2011 by Debilyn
	Family Issues - more of the Same (Preview) I posted in the past about the same issue so apologies if I'm repeating myself. Just need to vent since I got an earful from my mom again this morning about AH, from whom Im separated. Long story short AH had a break down this summer, ended up in rehab, and lost his job as a result of his absenteeism caused by...	nyc018	5	792	Oct 17, 2011 by Debilyn
	its back (Preview) He came home from fishing. He rang when he was on his way in.. I was at lunch with a friend. I didn't get home until about another hour. I quite obviously disturbed their afternoon as he friend came out and opened the gate for me with a bong in his hand. My husband appeared a few minutes later. Stoned and...	Lindaoakford	15	759	Oct 17, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Appreciating my HP at work (Preview) Today I went to the gym to work out. It wasn't too busy or full of the muscle heads building their biceps - sometimes it's eye candy, sometimes just ridiculous. Anyway, I started looking around and I noticed a few things. An old man on the treadmill, walking and reading a book with the pages held down w...	Cupcake	8	548	Oct 17, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Frustrated (Preview) I am going through many family adjustments & my AH is really not supportively there for me...it truly is like 'going to the Hardware store for bread'. I attended a meeting tonight & on the way home, I decided to bring home a simple inexpensive meal to share w/him. Upon arriving home, there he wa...	Wendie	6	515	Oct 17, 2011 by Pushka
	trusting... (Preview) i thought i caught my bf using. he denies it. i thought i had evidence. he explains it away. i want soo much to trust him. doesnt trusting him do good things for him? how do i know when it might be enabling him to cheat? i dont know how to handle this. i expect the same thing to happen again, and want to be...	blupaisan	5	590	Oct 17, 2011 by Pushka
	Taking a Break (Preview) Hi Everyone, The thought of taking a break from this board has been popping into my mind the past few months. It's nothing personal! I've always felt love and acceptance here by all. There's something going on inside of me that I want to clarify. To take a break is a gut feeling. I can't explain it oth...	GailMichelle	15	850	Oct 17, 2011 by GailMichelle
	The little things that make life manageable (Preview) Since starting my new job and moving to a dayshift, I haven't been able to go to my morning homegroup any more, and haven't gotten around to finding new meetings (I tend to stress out about meeting new people, so I've been putting it off). Amazing how much things can start to slip without me even realizin...	atheos	3	588	Oct 17, 2011 by youfoundme
	Its been a month today (Preview) I haven't posted in about 2 weeks. But its been 1 month since by AH went to jail. We have heard that hopefully he will be getting sent to to rehab this week, that means he will be home in 9 months. We have had many heart to heart talks and he is looking forward to rehab. He wants to stay sober. He also has been get...	jmanning	5	579	Oct 17, 2011 by tommyecat
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.