What should I expect after he's out of rehab? - Al-Anon Family Group

PauliePaulie · Member

What should I expect after he's out of rehab?

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

No one can say. Everyone is different.

It's just another day, take one at a time. Focus on YOU. It's up to him to figure it all out.

I would pretend he is coming home from a job after a month.Just be honest.

Get to meetings, have no expectations, take things as they come are all things I think about.

hugs, deb

glad · ~*Service Worker*~

Wow I have no Experience with this but what comes to mind are some truths that have helped me to keep myself more comfortable

and as D said: have NO expectations... that helps me avoid disappointment if things don't go a certain way...

and when I don't know what to do in a situation, I avoid "doing" anything....until I do know what to do, and often the situation takes care of itself, this has been especially helpful when in regard to someone elses behavior!

I wish you happy days and peace in your heart!

-- Edited by glad on Tuesday 11th of October 2011 10:38:54 PM

-- Edited by glad on Tuesday 11th of October 2011 10:39:31 PM

Lindaoakford · ~*Service Worker*~

In my experience there is often a 'honeymoon' period.
Typically I would say what to expect is... the unexpected.
Expect to continue to take care of YOU

RLC · ~*Service Worker*~

Paulie.

My experience, strenght, and hope, is to use this time to start your recovery by attending Al-Anon meetings where you can get the help and support you need from other members who have walked in your shoes. MIP is a great place with members with tons of experience and years in the program, but nothing can replace f2f meetings where members will understand you as perhaps no one else can. You will find a new loving and caring family just as you have on MIP. It's what worked for me. Do it for yourself....you need and deserve what this program offers. Your rewards will be priceless.

HUGS,
RLC

hawaiilover · Senior Member

The best thing you can do is to stay connected to your support group. You will need the support of Alanon. Get a sponsor and surround yourself with Alanon approved literatures. If you belong to a face to face meeting group, get the phone list. These are the tools that really work for me. Some people welcome phone calls at any time. Just have the tools you need readily available. By all means, equip yourself now and not later.

Blessings,

Hawaii

surfgirl123 · Senior Member

As others have said 'expectations are just future disappointments', be cautiously hopeful but don't expect anything, take it one day at time, if the day is good enjoy it, focus on you. What I have learned is that I often waste the good days I do have because I am mirred down in worrying about the bad day I know must be coming. Don't give up on you, Let Go and Let God. Peace!

rrib · Senior Member

Hope for the best. Expect the worse. Keep going to meetings regardless which way he swings and you'll be OK.

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

I have seen some people take rehab like the life changing experience and the "bottom" it is supposed to be. For others, I see them treat it like a vacation and they seem to think they can always come back if they fail. They bring folks in rehabs to our AA meetings on busses. Mostly they are people with drug problems, hence we call it the druggy buggy that brings them there. Like I said, some of them seem really serious while in rehab and I see a few stick around, go to halfway, and get sober. I see others chatting it up in meetings and acting like they are at sleepaway camp. Some of them seem to think the "treatment" for alcoholism is rehab. They often start their shares with "I'm (insert name) and I am in treatment." I have reminded them that I am in treatment too and that the "treatment" for alcoholism is AA. My personal opinion is that the highest amount of relapse comes from people thinking they don't have to work a program and attend meetings once they get out. People who embrace the 12 steps, meetings, sponsorship...etc....THOSE are the ones that have the best chance....Even some of those folks still relapse, so if a person gets out of rehab and doesn't keep doing any work, there is almost zero chance of them staying sober.

All of this is just what I have observed from my side of the fence in AA. As for you...you can't control or predict the attitude he will come back with or what he does with what it taught to him in rehab. Addiction/Alcoholism is so tricky (even though following an AA program and doing what the sober people tell you in AA is simple but not easy). The disease never goes away. It's only kept in check. Thus, I can tell you 100 percent for sure that he will come back an alcoholic or addict all the same. This time is best spent for you building and alanon program.

Mark

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.