The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So my boyfriend is finally back from a 40 day stay in rehab. I am proud of him and things are slowly settling. We both feel a little blah and are a bit overwhelmed. I am trying to keep my sense of peace that I gained while he was away and not worry about him or fuss over him. I am trying to give him his space and stop asking "are you okay?" so much. I know that I have to support him but from a distance. I am trying to keep taking care of me and keep going to my meetings. I am working on my 12 steps right now and scared about steps 4 and 5. It's wierd, I felt so at peace and excited and now I just feel somewhat empty. I can't place it but I feel uneasy as well. For now, I am happy that tomorrow is a new day and I have a nice cup of tea to enjoy :) Goodnight friends...
Do you have a sponsor yet? It's a great way to tie all of your healing in.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Pushka's response is golden. Now I don't feel so smart. I just be supportive and say your post reminded me that I didn't do change very well either and it took a long time to find a place to walk that wasn't covered with eggshells. You're in the right place with the right family. (((((hugs)))))
I'm glad you are going to meetings where you will receive the help and support you need. Practice what you you have learned in your f2f meetings, keeping the focus on yourself, taking care of yourself first and allow your bf to do the same. He made a good choice and took a big step seeking recovery from this disease that effects us all. I wish him only the best.
Don't forget this is a one day at a time program. Nothing happens overnight. Continue doing what you are doing and never forget where the focus should be....on Elizabeth and taking care of Elizabeth the only person you have control over.
I'm having my second cup of Bigelow Green Tea with lemon as I post......one of my addictions. The Chinese have a long life for a reason.
You know I too was terrified about step 5 and step 9 when I was new. But my sponsor said there is so much to learn in steps 1-3 that is a long way away.
Today I know what a comfort step 5 is for me. I have done quite a few 5th steps with my sponsor because I know the relief and love that is on the other side. I have a desire to feel better. Today I want to be free and feel peace and serenity. That is the motivation to continue to do the steps with my face to face Alanon sponsor.
When I felt the overwhelming love before, during, and after the 5th step, I suddenly realized the fears I had moved away because trust moved in. I then was willing to do whatever was asked of me to finish the remaining steps because I knew I was changing.
