The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I haven't posted in about 2 weeks. But its been 1 month since by AH went to jail. We have heard that hopefully he will be getting sent to to rehab this week, that means he will be home in 9 months. We have had many heart to heart talks and he is looking forward to rehab. He wants to stay sober. He also has been getting closer to his HP.
Now on me...well it has been a roller coaster of a month. Some days it just feels like I am numb to everything and just taking it day by day. I really can't believe its been a month and I survived it. The first weekend he was gone I wouldn't of said that. I thought my world was falling apart. Well it didn't life still goes on. I can say I am stronger. I do have my moments where I miss my husband not the alcoholic. Because I do love him, but I would rather have him away getting help then home drunk. This weekend I had to do the yard work, get the house ready for winter and do my school work. And you know what I did it all by myself. And it felt good, I felt accomplished. Grant you there was moments I was mad, cause "his" friends said oh we will come by and check on your wife and take care of things for her. Well I realized my AH really don't have friends unless there is alcohol involved. And I hope he realizes that too.
I am just taking it day by day. Doing for myself by myself. Hanging with my friends, enjoying life. And I believe this experience will make our marriage stronger. I am also much closer to my HP and I depend on my HP everyday to guide me in the right direction.
Thanks for listening, hope my experiences help someone
Most al anoner do most things by our selves because the people we love have drink problems. however just ahving someone around no matter how capable makes us feel stronger. I used to go to bits when my partner went to rehab or we had a break but I am aware today that this is part of my recovery he needs to learn to function without drink and I need to be o.k without him.
So glad you are identifying you can do it with just you and your hp .
Excellent progress. I also came to the realization I didn't need my ex-A as much as I thought I did when he was on a locked unit in the hospital. Not "needing" someone is a good thing. It frees you up to make a rational and adult decision on whether or not you "want" them.
I have no doubt that this post will help uplift and support newcomers and longtimers alike. The program has really saved my marriage. It is truly a one day at a time deal. The wheels didnt fall off in my marriage over night. So, the love, patience, and compassion I learned in alanon slowly but surely were planted in my marriage again. Just like any garden, it takes time for the flowers to bloom. Alanon taught me how to tend the garden treating others with love and respect they so deserve. One day at a time, year after year, it is nothing short of a miracle in progress.
