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new and very confused
(Preview)
Hi I'm new to the forum and I'm in search of some much needed support. My OH is an alcohic/drug addict and I think I might be completely mad! I met him 2 years ago as a recovering drug addict and he had done the 12 steps program. About a year in and he started drinking which he said was ok as it wasn't his drug of c...
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elsie70
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3
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277
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What is wrong with me?
(Preview)
Well Hello to all. Been here before, stopped thought I would come back. You all are so wise, I can only hope to be as wise someday. I attend f2f meetings and have been for almost a year, but you know what I am SLOW. And I know that is ok. My problem however is my mind keeps going in circles. I think I have...
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coffeegrounds
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9
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596
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my son is an alcoholic
(Preview)
My son is 35-years old. He has been an alcoholic as long as i can remember his as an adult....he recently spent 90 days in jail and stayed he wanted to get straight and would we come get him away from the friends and stuff where he is living now. We figured sure why not, he got out of jail at approximately 9 a...
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cajjij
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5
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545
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My update
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I've been struggling lately whether or not to tell you what's going on in my life, I know I need the feedback and support so here goes. As you know my AHisout of state working his new job, I am still in the home trying to sell it, anyway he came home for a visit and had a overdose on Chrystal meth. H...
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GreenerGrass
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5
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405
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testing my recovery
(Preview)
So my wife as "gone out". I'm in that struggle of wanting to jump in and rescue, make sure everything is all right, fearing the consequences of something I can't control. She's know's her problem, she know's the consequences. I knew there were tests to come. I'm just trying to stay away...
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DadtoCandE
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6
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417
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Looks Like I Need to Quit
(closed)
(Preview)
So I just got the results from my bloodwork today. Looks like I have high cholesterol, high triglycerides, high blood pressure, and my liver enzymes are high apparently all due to alcohol. Think I have alcohol-induced pseudo cushing syndrome. I started drinking heavily when I was 21 and I just t...
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marharri
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2
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323
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Will my ex comeback
(closed)
(Preview)
I am a recovering alcoholic 12 weeks sober. I had a drunken rage with my girl friend and she broke up with me. We were seeing each other quite a bit after the incident and I actually thought a couple of times we were back together but sure enough and for good reason she could not put that drunken night and ot...
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Beanie
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1
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295
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New at this, have to try something....
(Preview)
Hello, I'm new at this, and i have to try something. My husband is an alcoholic, i've known that for quite some time. He started when i was in college, he had a job and i went to school. After school he would not come home until 1-2 in the morning at least 2 nights a week, plus whatever we did on the weekend...
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mkbarnhardt
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5
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420
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New Here
(Preview)
I just lost a great post LOL. It was too long to retype. I'm here to learn. I'm in a new relationship with a recovering alcoholic and he is working on his program but due to PTSD (vet) and some medication issues did relapse recently. I'm not new to addictions. I have worked for several years on food addi...
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AStrongerMe
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4
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408
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Once Again... Gratitude
(Preview)
I cannot believe how much I have grown and learned since I started Al-Anon. I had my last therapy session today because I feel so strong. Now, if I collapse next week I can call and schedule again. But, I feel like a baby bird finally ready to spread my wings and do this. I know I have not been in Al-Anon lon...
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Michelle814
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4
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319
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Wife is out of rehab-I am just an ass to live with.
(Preview)
Hello all, This is my very first post. I have never had a problem with alcohol. My wife and I had been casual drinkers since we met 7 years ago. Just last summer her drinking got out of control. Very out of control. She went to rehab and is no doing AA and day treatments. While I was trying to be supportive, I...
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Cheese
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21
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873
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Coping with the feeling that it's "too late".....
(Preview)
What are some of your strategies for dealing with this, as I'm guessing that many of us have felt this at some time. The phrases "it's never too late" or "better late than never", while possibly true, are just to trite to have any significant impact on me. Sometimes it is "...
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mjhyankees
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9
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596
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It is acceptable to walk away. It is acceptable to walk away. It is acceptable to walk away.
(Preview)
One thing that has remained a HUGE trigger for me is when my AH and I are having a "conversation" that is bordering on turning ugly. I have gotten soooo much better at just walking away from those. I refuse to attend the fight. But I invariably end up triggered by my AH's reaction. It enrag...
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stephaniej
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11
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543
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My sponsor and I have parted ways
(Preview)
My sponsor and I have decided to go our separate ways. Officially "for a while" but part of me knows this is permanent. She's got stuff going in her own life right now, and has been drifting further and further from the program... she's been too busy to meet with me for a while, and when we did ma...
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atheos
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2
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338
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He says he doesn't have a problem
(Preview)
This is Emil. I asked my husband last night if he thought he had a drinking problem, He said "no." So if his only motivation is that he is afraid I will get mad it will continue to be an ongoing issue. No wonder he stops for a few months at a time and then starts sneaking again. The longest he s...
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emil
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11
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674
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Step Board
(Preview)
I have a question on the Step board, I see you are on step 8 now and well I am starting with 1. Can I go back and if I have questions bump up the thread? I just kinda feel lost and out of place. Thanks Kat
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FreeKat
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1
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230
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the legal side of detachment with love
(Preview)
My AH and i have been living separately for over a year now. He lives in our home and I live 2 miles away. In the last year he has been hospitalized 4 times with drinking/RX drugs related events. (He drinks, he falls, he hurts himself..he drinks too much for too long and someone calls 911) I'm going to my F2...
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alexmaui
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3
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351
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Double Winners 2012
(closed)
(Preview)
Join Us as we trudge the road of happy destiny! http://alanon.activeboard.com/t15927682/double-winners/Don't Be self-righteous Try to dominate, nag schold and comlain and lose your your temper Try to puch anyone but yourself Keep brin...
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joy078
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0
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6577
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Proud of husbands decision
(Preview)
couple of things for this post. Firstly, my husbands brothers are all very big drug users, growers, sellers etc. One in particular is not very bright and keeps getting caught. He is looking to going to prison on his next court appearance and he actually thinks he may get sentenced this time. Usuall...
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Oksie
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1
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234
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New person
(Preview)
I haven't been to a meeting yet. My boyfriend drinks quite regularly. He's a binge drinker. He doesn't drink at home but it he stays out until 2 or 4 once a week. He has lots his temper quite a few times. We have gone to councseling for a year. He doesn't get it. The counselor thought it would be wise that I go t...
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Leslied9
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5
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263
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Knowing that I Did the Right Thing
(Preview)
My AH (we are currently separated) texted me last night and asked me, if I didn't already have plans, if he could take me out to dinner to a very expensive restaurant for my birthday this week. Mind you, I had seen a photo of him a couple of days ago on Facebook of him obviously in a bar, with a huge beer mug in h...
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Green Eyes
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5
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5706
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Anger at myself
(Preview)
Any ESH? I'm really struggling not so much with being angry with other people .. I'm having a hard time because I'm very upset with myself when I don't do what I know I should do!! I am talking emotionally, program and so on. PLUS .. it's that "YOU know better!!!" stuff! Thanks, P :)
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Pushka
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10
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434
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as I ponder...
(Preview)
Not wanting to tell everyone my whole life story but I have been thinking about a lot of things both good & bad about myself & I don't really like who I have become over the years as I am not sure how I can change the behaviors & move on! I have a long list of character defects that sometimes are so...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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272
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My Assumption
(Preview)
I am reading here all the time. Today I read " Alcoholic Husband (AH)" in a post someone made to a newcomer, spelling out the AH. When I saw that before, I always assumed they had a different "AH" word. I guess "AS" means alcoholic son or sister. hmmmmm I am now laughi...
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Jill
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2
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281
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Thought I would say Hi!
(Preview)
Well I have been lurking here for a while. I have really enjoyed reading here and it has helped me to know I am not going at this alone. Some back info on me. Been together with AH for 13 yrs, and we should be celebrating our 10 yr wedding anni this July. I say should cause I dont know what is up from down anymore...
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FreeKat
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5
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428
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the first person I couldn't trust...
(Preview)
... was me As a child I saw things and heard things and experienced things that were totally incongruent. (I am sure we could all agree). There were promises made that weren't kept, which sometimes resulted in me being physically and emotionally hurt. The person that showed me such love and care at t...
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Oksie
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6
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322
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Thank You
(Preview)
http://alanon.activeboard.com/t38730205/okay-so-what-can-we-do/
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Jackie11
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1
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243
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If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...
(Preview)
then its probably a duck. For those of you who don't know me, or I haven't PM'd.... its me.... Linda.... O, I changed my profile name Asmany of you may be aware, I have been doing ALOT of work on myself through the psychologist. Alot of FOO work and childhood stuff. I have been doing DBT to address issu...
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Oksie
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8
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687
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"Wisdom is Better than Silver or Gold"
(Preview)
We adopted this cat two months (ish) back. She is pregnant. She is blind. and I am allergic to her. She is the sweetest creature I have ever seen. I love her so much. I just want to pick her up, hold her, stroke her little beard chin, cuddle her, and show her how much I love her. But I can't because I will sneez...
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Michelle814
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4
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295
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One Month Update
(Preview)
Well, as of March 3 it has been one month since my AH's last explosive relapse. He has found a new counselor, I have removed the gun from our home and have an exit plan should I need it. We went to his weekly AA meeting on Saturday night where he celebrated one month of sobriety. He is reading some new literat...
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surfgirl123
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6
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358
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Communication issue
(Preview)
So I am learning in the alanon meetings how to not give advice but to just share my ES&H. It is actually quite a relief to not have to come up with a plan on what someone else should do. I am however struggling with how to communicate with friends (who are not in the program) who come to me with wanting m...
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daisy31
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5
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502
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Trying to decide how to handle a relatively small issue
(Preview)
And of course, I thought to bring it to you all, because you are all such a great touchstone for me. Although my journey is very much "three steps forward, two steps back," I do feel like overall I am in a much better place than I was in a year ago. As I get better at turning my AH over to his HP and d...
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stephaniej
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7
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655
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?? Confusion After First Meeting - HELP!!
(Preview)
Hope I haven't accidentally erased my first comment where I describe my situation. I attended my first face to face meeting last night although I have been reading here for a couple of weeks. After reading the literature today, I realized that I have been handling some things in the wrong way and wonde...
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WornOutMrsFixIt
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5
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508
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Need esh badly!
(Preview)
My a/a's including my son, daughter, my daughter's boyfriend, and my daughters adult son, one of them stole a gold diamond ring and a pair of gold ear rings, I'm totally heardbroken, I loved those ear rings. I got over that, thinking God doesn't want me loving material things so much. The heart break...
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Highlyfavored
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8
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514
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hello
(Preview)
Just want to write and say hello to everyone. I hope you all know what it means to have this support, when I need it, at my finger tips. I feel so very grateful for all I have been blessed with in my life. I feel very strong right now and as if the winds are blowing in a new direction for me. I think of Mary Popp...
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Michelle814
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7
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457
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Combing through
(Preview)
http://alanon.activeboard.com/t46121273/inspired-by-old-post/
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Jackie11
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9
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422
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Advice please on whether I should detach and how
(Preview)
My favorite and I are both codependents and adult children. I have not been able to be close to for years because we're both sick, basically. I am also an alcoholic. I have stayed sober for years and have done an inordinate amount of hard work on myself in AA and have come out of denial abuot being the scape...
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WorkingThroughIt
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13
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587
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The lie of drinking
(Preview)
I posted this on the AA board but wanted to post it here too because I know some of you can relate because you've seen this to be true in your qualifiers. I love this poem though it makes me very sad: I drank for happiness and became unhappy; I drank for joy and became miserable. I drank to be out-going and be...
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pinkchip
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8
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452
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It's not easy
(Preview)
It's not easy turning an alcoholic over to his/her Higher Power. But, there comes a point where it is the only option left. I had to try all the other options first. It's who I am and what I do. After trying everything, I finally know no human power can release my AH from his addiction. It's painful because...
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Very Very Tired
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10
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408
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Online meetings and Sponsorship
(Preview)
Hi I am new, and cannot get to f2f Alanon meetings. Can I get a sponsor online and are there meetings here? Thanks Lady Bug
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Lady Bug
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4
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339
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ESH on post-detachment train wreckage?
(Preview)
First, most importantly: I've been reading almost all of the posts but not responding, because I want to write a supportive response to each one! There isn't enough time for that, so I've just been paying attention instead. This is rather flakey, but, seriously, you guys are on my mind and I've been qu...
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rara avis
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11
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595
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true to self
(Preview)
Have any off you seen the film eat love pray with Julia roberts in.? I love this film it is what I want need. To build a relationship with myself and my higher power. To follow the guidance from within be true to myself instead of focusing on everything and everyone but me. Fear drags me back to dysfunct...
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Tracy
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4
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334
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Boyfriend still in denial
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I truly hope I can get some some feedback on my issue here. I broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend just yesterday. We had only been dating for a little over five months but I soon realized that his social drinking was much more than he claimed. He never got violent or physically abusive in...
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FreeSpirit67
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7
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397
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Now I know what a midlife crisis feels like.
(Preview)
Diagnosed myself after reading an article and it said everything that I was feeling. Of course I FEEL like I've got good reasons (debt, bad marriage, kid having problems, bored with my job which is becoming more stressful each year). But whatever the reasons, i sit here looking back on my life and fee...
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mjhyankees
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5
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496
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The second part of the serenity prayer
(Preview)
At a meeting last night, someone read the second part of the serenity prayer, which I had never heard before. Not sure if this is common knowledge or not. Actually the Wikipedia page for the Serenity Prayer is really fascinating: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer Anyway, here is the...
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usedtobeanyer
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5
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2218
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al anon changed me
(Preview)
Recently I started "seeing" a man who has 10 years of sobriety. Normally I am such a sucker for lonely needy men. Lately I have been asserting my boundaries a lot. My sponsor instructed me pretty firmly if they cross your boundaries get out of there. Needless to say this guy in his "...
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orchidlover
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5
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419
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help please- the positive side of ambiguity?
(Preview)
Today, I was asked to consider the positive side of ambiguity. I'd appreciate help, please. Thank you.
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bud
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10
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788
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Questioning my son's PO
(Preview)
Today my 22yrs AS PO got a OK from the court to give him a probationary licenes. Here I thought I was doing good working my steps but I have to say this brings out my every want to "control". He was lucky on his 4th DUI and the court sent him to treatment rather than 5 years in prision but of coarse th...
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debbiems
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3
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401
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Far to serious ..
(Preview)
Lately, I have noticed that I have been far to serious about my recovery program and I had a good giggle the other day. I figured I would share as my children are constant reminders of what is and is not important. #1 daughter apparently had enough of #1 son and decided to get even with him. I was in the kit...
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Pushka
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7
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429
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You don't have to move fast, just keep movin' forward.
(Preview)
You don't have to move fast, just keep movin' forward. This isn't from the alanon literature but I sure like it and wanted to share. It reminds me that I can go at my own pace. I can grow and learn and make mistakes at my own pace. I don't have to rush myself anymore. Before Alanon, I thought I had to rush e...
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daisy31
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4
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313
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The Three A's?
(Preview)
My sponsor sent me an email today and wrote to me that "the three A's are alive and well in your life." I believe she meant this as a postive thing. I'm not able to reach her today, so could someone remind me what the "three A's" are? I'm familiar with the "three C's", but I...
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Green Eyes
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6
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2008
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Felony charges on husband
(Preview)
My husband stole from me one too many times today. There have been a hundred days just like today that were followed with threats of calling the police, some yelling, some pouting, and then I chalked it up to being just another day in the life of me- and went on with things. Today I realized that if anyone...
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respect
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9
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708
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Today's reminder, Courage to Change
(Preview)
From the Today's Reminder for March 1 from Courage to Change: "If we understand, things are just as they are. If we do not understand, things are just as they are"--Zen Proverb I related so much to this, specifically with the need to know if my wife has drank or not. But knowing doesn't change...
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usedtobeanyer
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4
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775
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well...I got out of bed by noon!
(Preview)
I hope I am not going through some kind of cycle cause today among other days I am having trouble getting out of bed! I don't feel depressed but sometimes I just want to stay in bed. I don't really want to analyze my life--I really need to talk about it w/ a professional maybe--nah, I think I will pass! I am su...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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370
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High/Low
(Preview)
I knew that just having the conversation about needing help and a 3 day detox meant nothing more then the words said. I know this. I know that life now is so different because of Al-Anon. I know that reading and researching have allowed me to grow and let go. What I struggle with, is what is just the reality...
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Jackie11
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6
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328
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Spectacular crash and burn
(Preview)
Despite my optimism and healthy outlook this morning, when my AH called this afternoon on his way to work, it was obvious that he was in a terrible mood. Presumably this was because, once again, he slept away most of the day after drinking last night, and was not able to complete the large majority of the...
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stephaniej
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9
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406
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Really need some ESH!
(Preview)
Well, my husband was physically abusive a secret A and addict. I had to get a protective order because of that. I have had a protective order for a while, I had to go to court for it on Monday just to make sure it stayed in place. I have also filed for divorce and my lawyer has been talking to my A. My lawyer...
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ttpurtee
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5
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443
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Lisa's New Normal
(Preview)
"Worry is the darkroom where negatives are developed." - Unknown I think this quote should be a new al-anon slogan! I don't know how many times I've "projected" about things the alcoholic was going to do (or someone else for that matter) that never occured. I've wasted so many...
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Overcome
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2
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396
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Anxiety Attacks, Whining Titty Baby!
(Preview)
Yep, thats me! The guy that so many think of as big bad John, the "GetterDone" guy, the one that so many come to when their ass is in a vise and their head is stuck in their ass... I have been to the ER twice in the past week for anxiety attacks. At first I went thinking I was having respirory problems, couldn...
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John
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19
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1021
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professional interventionist??
(Preview)
I have been married 15 years, together almost 20, three kids ages 6,6, and 11. My husband is what I guess you call a functioning alcoholic. He is a professional (although currently laid off which is what is probobly led to this crisis), responsible and most of the time a great father. In any social si...
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nunu102
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8
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559
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