Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

rehprof · rehprof

I've been working on being kinder and more accepting of myself...lots of reading and journaling... came across this quote this morning...and wanted to share Accepting our flaws doesnt mean that our behavior cant or shouldnt change for the better. Acceptance is in the present moment. Each one of u...

dave · dave

Not sure what to say worried about my wifes drinking, every night... I beg for her to have breaks, but she rarely does.. (seemingly not massive amounts what I know), but I have found spirits watered down and wine bottles hidden... We are arguing over this every day and it is putting massive strain on ma...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Have been doing pretty well at remaining calm and trying not to argue with my AH when he starts his lying and accusations but he had gone on for so long the past 2 days that at 3am, I am staring at the ceiling, literally with my head/hair in my hands because I'm so frustrated. I snapped and called his c...

Bead · Bead

Hello, I've just joined even though I've been reading off and on for awhile. Thank you for the encouraging words I've read. I've been going to face-to-face meeting for about 20 months but I need something for when I can't make it or chaos breaks out at home. So, recovering AH and I have been fighting aga...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42763

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

On this one I give carte blanch to give advice. No worries, I sift through it all. I find that outside views give me things to think about that I might not otherwise. My friend that I've been dating a few months, and who for the basis of giving a short background is a military vet with PTSD, got sober 3 years...

jlove · jlove

hi, i'm new here and trying to keep or should i say regain my sanity. I broke up with my abf even though i still call him my bf. its been three weeks and yesterday and the day before are the only days we havent fought. about a week ago i told him to no longer text or call me when he was intoxicated. he is both an al...

db55 · db55

Needing to vent this evening. AH (2 months sober/ 20+ years in and out of AA) tells me tonight that "we need to talk" Me: Ok, what's up? AH: You know I really want to buy an airplane, right? Me: On the ceiling, trying to calm down and calmly say: Well, after you pay that $34,000 you borro...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

The topic in my weekly meeting last night was serenity. It got me thinking on the subject and I realized that in spite of attending Al Anon meetings for over a year now, serenity is something that is lacking from my life. When I come home from work, I am still filled with anxiety in that moment I walk throug...

TLD · TLD

Just thought I'd post an update. I am still living with my parents with my daughter and it looks like it might be like that for a while until lots of court hearings are done. He is still living in the house where I have to pay half the mortgage and when I queried if anything had been thought of about the house...

rehprof · rehprof

Progress, not perfection... I have not been able to accept this mantra with regard to my house. I work 60 hours a week, and it's all I can do as a single mom to keep up with all that is expected of me...car maintenance, house maintenance, laundry, meals and groceries, homework...shoveling..grading pa...

daisy31 · daisy31

Me and my husband take our son to a psychologist to help him with his adhd and my husband and I alternate going with our son. My husband went yesterday and he told me that the psychologist noticed that I am very hard on myself and that I pressure myself to be a perfect mother. The psychologist also said th...

Pushka · Pushka

and I discovered .. I'm so not liking it .. well .. rephrase .. part of me is really digging it the other part is saying .. ummm .. not so much. The part that is not so much is the part that still is hurting and trying to rationalize with an irrational situation. The part that is liking it is the softer part of m...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

So tell me what things you do, ask yourself or contemplate to determine if a motive is enabling or caring. I still struggle with this. I come from a big, big family, being there for friends and family is a HUGE part of my upbringing and I embrace it with abandon. I love doing things for people I love.For...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have been thinking about how my own twisted thinking has contributed to the problems in our marriage. I would like to make amends to my AH and try to start mending fences but I don't know if he'll even respond positively based on where he is emotionally right now. I want to tell him that it hurts every t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I don't know why but I'm actually aggravated at the court system. They sure do drag their feet. AH seems just fine lately as long as we don't talk about drinking or my anger, LOL. It's been almost a month since the DUI and there's been no consequences laid upon him yet. He's still driving and even trav...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I believe I have mentioned more than once that I was married once before. My ex-husband is not an A, but has many issues that often render him irrational when it comes to dealing with me. One thing he does, which has always just driven me crazy because it is a direct result of his refusal to actually tal...

Oksie · Oksie

That title sounded like this post would be negative I guess but I am thinking it isn't so much. All couples argue hey. All couples get on each others nerves and have bad days etc. Well it seemed yesterday we met at a time we were ready to clash. Just stupid stuff really. My temper is a hot one. I raise my v...

elsie70 · elsie70

Hi I'm new to the forum and I'm in search of some much needed support. My OH is an alcohic/drug addict and I think I might be completely mad! I met him 2 years ago as a recovering drug addict and he had done the 12 steps program. About a year in and he started drinking which he said was ok as it wasn't his drug of c...

coffeegrounds · coffeegrounds

Well Hello to all. Been here before, stopped thought I would come back. You all are so wise, I can only hope to be as wise someday. I attend f2f meetings and have been for almost a year, but you know what I am SLOW. And I know that is ok. My problem however is my mind keeps going in circles. I think I have...

cajjij · cajjij

My son is 35-years old. He has been an alcoholic as long as i can remember his as an adult....he recently spent 90 days in jail and stayed he wanted to get straight and would we come get him away from the friends and stuff where he is living now. We figured sure why not, he got out of jail at approximately 9 a...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Hi everyone, I've been struggling lately whether or not to tell you what's going on in my life, I know I need the feedback and support so here goes. As you know my AHisout of state working his new job, I am still in the home trying to sell it, anyway he came home for a visit and had a overdose on Chrystal meth. H...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

So my wife as "gone out". I'm in that struggle of wanting to jump in and rescue, make sure everything is all right, fearing the consequences of something I can't control. She's know's her problem, she know's the consequences. I knew there were tests to come. I'm just trying to stay away...

marharri · marharri

So I just got the results from my bloodwork today. Looks like I have high cholesterol, high triglycerides, high blood pressure, and my liver enzymes are high apparently all due to alcohol. Think I have alcohol-induced pseudo cushing syndrome. I started drinking heavily when I was 21 and I just t...

Beanie · Beanie

I am a recovering alcoholic 12 weeks sober. I had a drunken rage with my girl friend and she broke up with me. We were seeing each other quite a bit after the incident and I actually thought a couple of times we were back together but sure enough and for good reason she could not put that drunken night and ot...

mkbarnhardt · mkbarnhardt

Hello, I'm new at this, and i have to try something. My husband is an alcoholic, i've known that for quite some time. He started when i was in college, he had a job and i went to school. After school he would not come home until 1-2 in the morning at least 2 nights a week, plus whatever we did on the weekend...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I just lost a great post LOL. It was too long to retype. I'm here to learn. I'm in a new relationship with a recovering alcoholic and he is working on his program but due to PTSD (vet) and some medication issues did relapse recently. I'm not new to addictions. I have worked for several years on food addi...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I cannot believe how much I have grown and learned since I started Al-Anon. I had my last therapy session today because I feel so strong. Now, if I collapse next week I can call and schedule again. But, I feel like a baby bird finally ready to spread my wings and do this. I know I have not been in Al-Anon lon...

Cheese · Cheese

Hello all, This is my very first post. I have never had a problem with alcohol. My wife and I had been casual drinkers since we met 7 years ago. Just last summer her drinking got out of control. Very out of control. She went to rehab and is no doing AA and day treatments. While I was trying to be supportive, I...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

What are some of your strategies for dealing with this, as I'm guessing that many of us have felt this at some time. The phrases "it's never too late" or "better late than never", while possibly true, are just to trite to have any significant impact on me. Sometimes it is "...

stephaniej · stephaniej

One thing that has remained a HUGE trigger for me is when my AH and I are having a "conversation" that is bordering on turning ugly. I have gotten soooo much better at just walking away from those. I refuse to attend the fight. But I invariably end up triggered by my AH's reaction. It enrag...

atheos · atheos

My sponsor and I have decided to go our separate ways. Officially "for a while" but part of me knows this is permanent. She's got stuff going in her own life right now, and has been drifting further and further from the program... she's been too busy to meet with me for a while, and when we did ma...

emil · emil

This is Emil. I asked my husband last night if he thought he had a drinking problem, He said "no." So if his only motivation is that he is afraid I will get mad it will continue to be an ongoing issue. No wonder he stops for a few months at a time and then starts sneaking again. The longest he s...

FreeKat · FreeKat

I have a question on the Step board, I see you are on step 8 now and well I am starting with 1. Can I go back and if I have questions bump up the thread? I just kinda feel lost and out of place. Thanks Kat

alexmaui · alexmaui

My AH and i have been living separately for over a year now. He lives in our home and I live 2 miles away. In the last year he has been hospitalized 4 times with drinking/RX drugs related events. (He drinks, he falls, he hurts himself..he drinks too much for too long and someone calls 911) I'm going to my F2...

joy078 · joy078

Join Us as we trudge the road of happy destiny! http://alanon.activeboard.com/t15927682/double-winners/Don't Be self-righteous Try to dominate, nag schold and comlain and lose your your temper Try to puch anyone but yourself Keep brin...

Oksie · Oksie

couple of things for this post. Firstly, my husbands brothers are all very big drug users, growers, sellers etc. One in particular is not very bright and keeps getting caught. He is looking to going to prison on his next court appearance and he actually thinks he may get sentenced this time. Usuall...

Leslied9 · Leslied9

I haven't been to a meeting yet. My boyfriend drinks quite regularly. He's a binge drinker. He doesn't drink at home but it he stays out until 2 or 4 once a week. He has lots his temper quite a few times. We have gone to councseling for a year. He doesn't get it. The counselor thought it would be wise that I go t...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH (we are currently separated) texted me last night and asked me, if I didn't already have plans, if he could take me out to dinner to a very expensive restaurant for my birthday this week. Mind you, I had seen a photo of him a couple of days ago on Facebook of him obviously in a bar, with a huge beer mug in h...

Pushka · Pushka

Any ESH? I'm really struggling not so much with being angry with other people .. I'm having a hard time because I'm very upset with myself when I don't do what I know I should do!! I am talking emotionally, program and so on. PLUS .. it's that "YOU know better!!!" stuff! Thanks, P :)

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Not wanting to tell everyone my whole life story but I have been thinking about a lot of things both good & bad about myself & I don't really like who I have become over the years as I am not sure how I can change the behaviors & move on! I have a long list of character defects that sometimes are so...

Jill · Jill

I am reading here all the time. Today I read " Alcoholic Husband (AH)" in a post someone made to a newcomer, spelling out the AH. When I saw that before, I always assumed they had a different "AH" word. I guess "AS" means alcoholic son or sister. hmmmmm I am now laughi...

FreeKat · FreeKat

Well I have been lurking here for a while. I have really enjoyed reading here and it has helped me to know I am not going at this alone. Some back info on me. Been together with AH for 13 yrs, and we should be celebrating our 10 yr wedding anni this July. I say should cause I dont know what is up from down anymore...

Oksie · Oksie

... was me As a child I saw things and heard things and experienced things that were totally incongruent. (I am sure we could all agree). There were promises made that weren't kept, which sometimes resulted in me being physically and emotionally hurt. The person that showed me such love and care at t...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t38730205/okay-so-what-can-we-do/

Oksie · Oksie

then its probably a duck. For those of you who don't know me, or I haven't PM'd.... its me.... Linda.... O, I changed my profile name Asmany of you may be aware, I have been doing ALOT of work on myself through the psychologist. Alot of FOO work and childhood stuff. I have been doing DBT to address issu...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

We adopted this cat two months (ish) back. She is pregnant. She is blind. and I am allergic to her. She is the sweetest creature I have ever seen. I love her so much. I just want to pick her up, hold her, stroke her little beard chin, cuddle her, and show her how much I love her. But I can't because I will sneez...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Well, as of March 3 it has been one month since my AH's last explosive relapse. He has found a new counselor, I have removed the gun from our home and have an exit plan should I need it. We went to his weekly AA meeting on Saturday night where he celebrated one month of sobriety. He is reading some new literat...

daisy31 · daisy31

So I am learning in the alanon meetings how to not give advice but to just share my ES&H. It is actually quite a relief to not have to come up with a plan on what someone else should do. I am however struggling with how to communicate with friends (who are not in the program) who come to me with wanting m...

stephaniej · stephaniej

And of course, I thought to bring it to you all, because you are all such a great touchstone for me. Although my journey is very much "three steps forward, two steps back," I do feel like overall I am in a much better place than I was in a year ago. As I get better at turning my AH over to his HP and d...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Hope I haven't accidentally erased my first comment where I describe my situation. I attended my first face to face meeting last night although I have been reading here for a couple of weeks. After reading the literature today, I realized that I have been handling some things in the wrong way and wonde...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My a/a's including my son, daughter, my daughter's boyfriend, and my daughters adult son, one of them stole a gold diamond ring and a pair of gold ear rings, I'm totally heardbroken, I loved those ear rings. I got over that, thinking God doesn't want me loving material things so much. The heart break...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Just want to write and say hello to everyone. I hope you all know what it means to have this support, when I need it, at my finger tips. I feel so very grateful for all I have been blessed with in my life. I feel very strong right now and as if the winds are blowing in a new direction for me. I think of Mary Popp...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t46121273/inspired-by-old-post/

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

My favorite and I are both codependents and adult children. I have not been able to be close to for years because we're both sick, basically. I am also an alcoholic. I have stayed sober for years and have done an inordinate amount of hard work on myself in AA and have come out of denial abuot being the scape...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I posted this on the AA board but wanted to post it here too because I know some of you can relate because you've seen this to be true in your qualifiers. I love this poem though it makes me very sad: I drank for happiness and became unhappy; I drank for joy and became miserable. I drank to be out-going and be...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

It's not easy turning an alcoholic over to his/her Higher Power. But, there comes a point where it is the only option left. I had to try all the other options first. It's who I am and what I do. After trying everything, I finally know no human power can release my AH from his addiction. It's painful because...

Lady Bug · Lady Bug

Hi I am new, and cannot get to f2f Alanon meetings. Can I get a sponsor online and are there meetings here? Thanks Lady Bug

rara avis · rara avis

First, most importantly: I've been reading almost all of the posts but not responding, because I want to write a supportive response to each one! There isn't enough time for that, so I've just been paying attention instead. This is rather flakey, but, seriously, you guys are on my mind and I've been qu...

Tracy · Tracy

Have any off you seen the film eat love pray with Julia roberts in.? I love this film it is what I want need. To build a relationship with myself and my higher power. To follow the guidance from within be true to myself instead of focusing on everything and everyone but me. Fear drags me back to dysfunct...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hard on Myself (Preview) I've been working on being kinder and more accepting of myself...lots of reading and journaling... came across this quote this morning...and wanted to share Accepting our flaws doesnt mean that our behavior cant or shouldnt change for the better. Acceptance is in the present moment. Each one of u...	rehprof	9	386	Mar 11, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	New to this (Preview) Not sure what to say worried about my wifes drinking, every night... I beg for her to have breaks, but she rarely does.. (seemingly not massive amounts what I know), but I have found spirits watered down and wine bottles hidden... We are arguing over this every day and it is putting massive strain on ma...	dave	4	344	Mar 11, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Boy, Did I Blow It! (Preview) Have been doing pretty well at remaining calm and trying not to argue with my AH when he starts his lying and accusations but he had gone on for so long the past 2 days that at 3am, I am staring at the ceiling, literally with my head/hair in my hands because I'm so frustrated. I snapped and called his c...	WornOutMrsFixIt	5	547	Mar 11, 2012 by Jennifer
	Now it's my fault (Preview) Hello, I've just joined even though I've been reading off and on for awhile. Thank you for the encouraging words I've read. I've been going to face-to-face meeting for about 20 months but I need something for when I can't make it or chaos breaks out at home. So, recovering AH and I have been fighting aga...	Bead	4	309	Mar 11, 2012 by Bead
	8th Step ---- Step Work Board (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42763	hotrod	1	297	Mar 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I'm seeking actual feedback (Preview) On this one I give carte blanch to give advice. No worries, I sift through it all. I find that outside views give me things to think about that I might not otherwise. My friend that I've been dating a few months, and who for the basis of giving a short background is a military vet with PTSD, got sober 3 years...	AStrongerMe	9	422	Mar 10, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	new to alanon (Preview) hi, i'm new here and trying to keep or should i say regain my sanity. I broke up with my abf even though i still call him my bf. its been three weeks and yesterday and the day before are the only days we havent fought. about a week ago i told him to no longer text or call me when he was intoxicated. he is both an al...	jlove	3	262	Mar 10, 2012 by pineapple
	Just need to vent... (Preview) Needing to vent this evening. AH (2 months sober/ 20+ years in and out of AA) tells me tonight that "we need to talk" Me: Ok, what's up? AH: You know I really want to buy an airplane, right? Me: On the ceiling, trying to calm down and calmly say: Well, after you pay that $34,000 you borro...	db55	6	418	Mar 10, 2012 by db55
	Serenity (Preview) The topic in my weekly meeting last night was serenity. It got me thinking on the subject and I realized that in spite of attending Al Anon meetings for over a year now, serenity is something that is lacking from my life. When I come home from work, I am still filled with anxiety in that moment I walk throug...	usedtobeanyer	11	558	Mar 10, 2012 by Mattie
	Update, frusterated but happy (Preview) Just thought I'd post an update. I am still living with my parents with my daughter and it looks like it might be like that for a while until lots of court hearings are done. He is still living in the house where I have to pay half the mortgage and when I queried if anything had been thought of about the house...	TLD	3	380	Mar 10, 2012 by Pushka
	House-related Shame (Preview) Progress, not perfection... I have not been able to accept this mantra with regard to my house. I work 60 hours a week, and it's all I can do as a single mom to keep up with all that is expected of me...car maintenance, house maintenance, laundry, meals and groceries, homework...shoveling..grading pa...	rehprof	19	1982	Mar 10, 2012 by Oksie
	He thinks I am to hard on myself-I'm embarrassed (Preview) Me and my husband take our son to a psychologist to help him with his adhd and my husband and I alternate going with our son. My husband went yesterday and he told me that the psychologist noticed that I am very hard on myself and that I pressure myself to be a perfect mother. The psychologist also said th...	daisy31	8	357	Mar 10, 2012 by Jerry F
	I feel human (Preview) and I discovered .. I'm so not liking it .. well .. rephrase .. part of me is really digging it the other part is saying .. ummm .. not so much. The part that is not so much is the part that still is hurting and trying to rationalize with an irrational situation. The part that is liking it is the softer part of m...	Pushka	3	471	Mar 10, 2012 by hotrod
	Fine line between enabling and caring (Preview) So tell me what things you do, ask yourself or contemplate to determine if a motive is enabling or caring. I still struggle with this. I come from a big, big family, being there for friends and family is a HUGE part of my upbringing and I embrace it with abandon. I love doing things for people I love.For...	AStrongerMe	11	669	Mar 9, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Ever go to the A with your heart in your hands? (Preview) I have been thinking about how my own twisted thinking has contributed to the problems in our marriage. I would like to make amends to my AH and try to start mending fences but I don't know if he'll even respond positively based on where he is emotionally right now. I want to tell him that it hurts every t...	ilovedogs	10	496	Mar 9, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Talk to me about DUIs (Preview) I don't know why but I'm actually aggravated at the court system. They sure do drag their feet. AH seems just fine lately as long as we don't talk about drinking or my anger, LOL. It's been almost a month since the DUI and there's been no consequences laid upon him yet. He's still driving and even trav...	ilovedogs	11	368	Mar 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	Ooooo, I need some ESH (Preview) I believe I have mentioned more than once that I was married once before. My ex-husband is not an A, but has many issues that often render him irrational when it comes to dealing with me. One thing he does, which has always just driven me crazy because it is a direct result of his refusal to actually tal...	stephaniej	6	344	Mar 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	argument with hubby not the end of the world (Preview) That title sounded like this post would be negative I guess but I am thinking it isn't so much. All couples argue hey. All couples get on each others nerves and have bad days etc. Well it seemed yesterday we met at a time we were ready to clash. Just stupid stuff really. My temper is a hot one. I raise my v...	Oksie	4	349	Mar 9, 2012 by Oksie
	new and very confused (Preview) Hi I'm new to the forum and I'm in search of some much needed support. My OH is an alcohic/drug addict and I think I might be completely mad! I met him 2 years ago as a recovering drug addict and he had done the 12 steps program. About a year in and he started drinking which he said was ok as it wasn't his drug of c...	elsie70	3	287	Mar 9, 2012 by Jerry F
	What is wrong with me? (Preview) Well Hello to all. Been here before, stopped thought I would come back. You all are so wise, I can only hope to be as wise someday. I attend f2f meetings and have been for almost a year, but you know what I am SLOW. And I know that is ok. My problem however is my mind keeps going in circles. I think I have...	coffeegrounds	9	606	Mar 9, 2012 by kael1539
	my son is an alcoholic (Preview) My son is 35-years old. He has been an alcoholic as long as i can remember his as an adult....he recently spent 90 days in jail and stayed he wanted to get straight and would we come get him away from the friends and stuff where he is living now. We figured sure why not, he got out of jail at approximately 9 a...	cajjij	5	561	Mar 9, 2012 by debbiems
	My update (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been struggling lately whether or not to tell you what's going on in my life, I know I need the feedback and support so here goes. As you know my AHisout of state working his new job, I am still in the home trying to sell it, anyway he came home for a visit and had a overdose on Chrystal meth. H...	GreenerGrass	5	415	Mar 9, 2012 by Oksie
	testing my recovery (Preview) So my wife as "gone out". I'm in that struggle of wanting to jump in and rescue, make sure everything is all right, fearing the consequences of something I can't control. She's know's her problem, she know's the consequences. I knew there were tests to come. I'm just trying to stay away...	DadtoCandE	6	425	Mar 9, 2012 by Jerry F
	Looks Like I Need to Quit (closed) (Preview) So I just got the results from my bloodwork today. Looks like I have high cholesterol, high triglycerides, high blood pressure, and my liver enzymes are high apparently all due to alcohol. Think I have alcohol-induced pseudo cushing syndrome. I started drinking heavily when I was 21 and I just t...	marharri	2	335	Mar 9, 2012 by canadianguy
	Will my ex comeback (closed) (Preview) I am a recovering alcoholic 12 weeks sober. I had a drunken rage with my girl friend and she broke up with me. We were seeing each other quite a bit after the incident and I actually thought a couple of times we were back together but sure enough and for good reason she could not put that drunken night and ot...	Beanie	1	303	Mar 9, 2012 by canadianguy
	New at this, have to try something.... (Preview) Hello, I'm new at this, and i have to try something. My husband is an alcoholic, i've known that for quite some time. He started when i was in college, he had a job and i went to school. After school he would not come home until 1-2 in the morning at least 2 nights a week, plus whatever we did on the weekend...	mkbarnhardt	5	428	Mar 8, 2012 by maryjane
	New Here (Preview) I just lost a great post LOL. It was too long to retype. I'm here to learn. I'm in a new relationship with a recovering alcoholic and he is working on his program but due to PTSD (vet) and some medication issues did relapse recently. I'm not new to addictions. I have worked for several years on food addi...	AStrongerMe	4	421	Mar 8, 2012 by daisy31
	Once Again... Gratitude (Preview) I cannot believe how much I have grown and learned since I started Al-Anon. I had my last therapy session today because I feel so strong. Now, if I collapse next week I can call and schedule again. But, I feel like a baby bird finally ready to spread my wings and do this. I know I have not been in Al-Anon lon...	Michelle814	4	330	Mar 8, 2012 by daisy31
	Wife is out of rehab-I am just an ass to live with. (Preview) Hello all, This is my very first post. I have never had a problem with alcohol. My wife and I had been casual drinkers since we met 7 years ago. Just last summer her drinking got out of control. Very out of control. She went to rehab and is no doing AA and day treatments. While I was trying to be supportive, I...	Cheese	21	887	Mar 8, 2012 by canadianguy
	Coping with the feeling that it's "too late"..... (Preview) What are some of your strategies for dealing with this, as I'm guessing that many of us have felt this at some time. The phrases "it's never too late" or "better late than never", while possibly true, are just to trite to have any significant impact on me. Sometimes it is "...	mjhyankees	9	605	Mar 8, 2012 by Jennifer
	It is acceptable to walk away. It is acceptable to walk away. It is acceptable to walk away. (Preview) One thing that has remained a HUGE trigger for me is when my AH and I are having a "conversation" that is bordering on turning ugly. I have gotten soooo much better at just walking away from those. I refuse to attend the fight. But I invariably end up triggered by my AH's reaction. It enrag...	stephaniej	11	553	Mar 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	My sponsor and I have parted ways (Preview) My sponsor and I have decided to go our separate ways. Officially "for a while" but part of me knows this is permanent. She's got stuff going in her own life right now, and has been drifting further and further from the program... she's been too busy to meet with me for a while, and when we did ma...	atheos	2	347	Mar 8, 2012 by Michelle814
	He says he doesn't have a problem (Preview) This is Emil. I asked my husband last night if he thought he had a drinking problem, He said "no." So if his only motivation is that he is afraid I will get mad it will continue to be an ongoing issue. No wonder he stops for a few months at a time and then starts sneaking again. The longest he s...	emil	11	682	Mar 8, 2012 by emil
	Step Board (Preview) I have a question on the Step board, I see you are on step 8 now and well I am starting with 1. Can I go back and if I have questions bump up the thread? I just kinda feel lost and out of place. Thanks Kat	FreeKat	1	241	Mar 8, 2012 by Oksie
	the legal side of detachment with love (Preview) My AH and i have been living separately for over a year now. He lives in our home and I live 2 miles away. In the last year he has been hospitalized 4 times with drinking/RX drugs related events. (He drinks, he falls, he hurts himself..he drinks too much for too long and someone calls 911) I'm going to my F2...	alexmaui	3	363	Mar 7, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Double Winners 2012 (closed) Double Winner women men closed open Al-Anon one day at a time (Preview) Join Us as we trudge the road of happy destiny! http://alanon.activeboard.com/t15927682/double-winners/Don't Be self-righteous Try to dominate, nag schold and comlain and lose your your temper Try to puch anyone but yourself Keep brin...	joy078	0	7132	Mar 7, 2012 by joy078
	Proud of husbands decision (Preview) couple of things for this post. Firstly, my husbands brothers are all very big drug users, growers, sellers etc. One in particular is not very bright and keeps getting caught. He is looking to going to prison on his next court appearance and he actually thinks he may get sentenced this time. Usuall...	Oksie	1	247	Mar 7, 2012 by FreeKat
	New person (Preview) I haven't been to a meeting yet. My boyfriend drinks quite regularly. He's a binge drinker. He doesn't drink at home but it he stays out until 2 or 4 once a week. He has lots his temper quite a few times. We have gone to councseling for a year. He doesn't get it. The counselor thought it would be wise that I go t...	Leslied9	5	276	Mar 7, 2012 by rehprof
	Knowing that I Did the Right Thing denial (Preview) My AH (we are currently separated) texted me last night and asked me, if I didn't already have plans, if he could take me out to dinner to a very expensive restaurant for my birthday this week. Mind you, I had seen a photo of him a couple of days ago on Facebook of him obviously in a bar, with a huge beer mug in h...	Green Eyes	5	6205	Mar 7, 2012 by stephaniej
	Anger at myself (Preview) Any ESH? I'm really struggling not so much with being angry with other people .. I'm having a hard time because I'm very upset with myself when I don't do what I know I should do!! I am talking emotionally, program and so on. PLUS .. it's that "YOU know better!!!" stuff! Thanks, P :)	Pushka	10	447	Mar 7, 2012 by stephaniej
	as I ponder... (Preview) Not wanting to tell everyone my whole life story but I have been thinking about a lot of things both good & bad about myself & I don't really like who I have become over the years as I am not sure how I can change the behaviors & move on! I have a long list of character defects that sometimes are so...	Hoot Nanny	2	282	Mar 7, 2012 by daisy31
	My Assumption (Preview) I am reading here all the time. Today I read " Alcoholic Husband (AH)" in a post someone made to a newcomer, spelling out the AH. When I saw that before, I always assumed they had a different "AH" word. I guess "AS" means alcoholic son or sister. hmmmmm I am now laughi...	Jill	2	289	Mar 7, 2012 by Oksie
	Thought I would say Hi! (Preview) Well I have been lurking here for a while. I have really enjoyed reading here and it has helped me to know I am not going at this alone. Some back info on me. Been together with AH for 13 yrs, and we should be celebrating our 10 yr wedding anni this July. I say should cause I dont know what is up from down anymore...	FreeKat	5	441	Mar 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	the first person I couldn't trust... (Preview) ... was me As a child I saw things and heard things and experienced things that were totally incongruent. (I am sure we could all agree). There were promises made that weren't kept, which sometimes resulted in me being physically and emotionally hurt. The person that showed me such love and care at t...	Oksie	6	337	Mar 7, 2012 by Oksie
	Thank You (Preview) http://alanon.activeboard.com/t38730205/okay-so-what-can-we-do/	Jackie11	1	255	Mar 7, 2012 by Green Eyes
	If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck... (Preview) then its probably a duck. For those of you who don't know me, or I haven't PM'd.... its me.... Linda.... O, I changed my profile name Asmany of you may be aware, I have been doing ALOT of work on myself through the psychologist. Alot of FOO work and childhood stuff. I have been doing DBT to address issu...	Oksie	8	695	Mar 6, 2012 by Pushka
	"Wisdom is Better than Silver or Gold" (Preview) We adopted this cat two months (ish) back. She is pregnant. She is blind. and I am allergic to her. She is the sweetest creature I have ever seen. I love her so much. I just want to pick her up, hold her, stroke her little beard chin, cuddle her, and show her how much I love her. But I can't because I will sneez...	Michelle814	4	309	Mar 6, 2012 by Michelle814
	One Month Update (Preview) Well, as of March 3 it has been one month since my AH's last explosive relapse. He has found a new counselor, I have removed the gun from our home and have an exit plan should I need it. We went to his weekly AA meeting on Saturday night where he celebrated one month of sobriety. He is reading some new literat...	surfgirl123	6	371	Mar 6, 2012 by Oksie
	Communication issue (Preview) So I am learning in the alanon meetings how to not give advice but to just share my ES&H. It is actually quite a relief to not have to come up with a plan on what someone else should do. I am however struggling with how to communicate with friends (who are not in the program) who come to me with wanting m...	daisy31	5	512	Mar 6, 2012 by daisy31
	Trying to decide how to handle a relatively small issue (Preview) And of course, I thought to bring it to you all, because you are all such a great touchstone for me. Although my journey is very much "three steps forward, two steps back," I do feel like overall I am in a much better place than I was in a year ago. As I get better at turning my AH over to his HP and d...	stephaniej	7	666	Mar 6, 2012 by Oksie
	?? Confusion After First Meeting - HELP!! (Preview) Hope I haven't accidentally erased my first comment where I describe my situation. I attended my first face to face meeting last night although I have been reading here for a couple of weeks. After reading the literature today, I realized that I have been handling some things in the wrong way and wonde...	WornOutMrsFixIt	5	520	Mar 6, 2012 by Jerry F
	Need esh badly! (Preview) My a/a's including my son, daughter, my daughter's boyfriend, and my daughters adult son, one of them stole a gold diamond ring and a pair of gold ear rings, I'm totally heardbroken, I loved those ear rings. I got over that, thinking God doesn't want me loving material things so much. The heart break...	Highlyfavored	8	527	Mar 6, 2012 by Jerry F
	hello (Preview) Just want to write and say hello to everyone. I hope you all know what it means to have this support, when I need it, at my finger tips. I feel so very grateful for all I have been blessed with in my life. I feel very strong right now and as if the winds are blowing in a new direction for me. I think of Mary Popp...	Michelle814	7	470	Mar 5, 2012 by Jackie11
	Combing through (Preview) http://alanon.activeboard.com/t46121273/inspired-by-old-post/	Jackie11	9	434	Mar 5, 2012 by whitedove
	Advice please on whether I should detach and how (Preview) My favorite and I are both codependents and adult children. I have not been able to be close to for years because we're both sick, basically. I am also an alcoholic. I have stayed sober for years and have done an inordinate amount of hard work on myself in AA and have come out of denial abuot being the scape...	WorkingThroughIt	13	603	Mar 5, 2012 by Oksie
	The lie of drinking (Preview) I posted this on the AA board but wanted to post it here too because I know some of you can relate because you've seen this to be true in your qualifiers. I love this poem though it makes me very sad: I drank for happiness and became unhappy; I drank for joy and became miserable. I drank to be out-going and be...	pinkchip	8	462	Mar 5, 2012 by Jackie11
	It's not easy (Preview) It's not easy turning an alcoholic over to his/her Higher Power. But, there comes a point where it is the only option left. I had to try all the other options first. It's who I am and what I do. After trying everything, I finally know no human power can release my AH from his addiction. It's painful because...	Very Very Tired	10	420	Mar 4, 2012 by 1 day at a time
	Online meetings and Sponsorship (Preview) Hi I am new, and cannot get to f2f Alanon meetings. Can I get a sponsor online and are there meetings here? Thanks Lady Bug	Lady Bug	4	350	Mar 4, 2012 by maryjane
	ESH on post-detachment train wreckage? (Preview) First, most importantly: I've been reading almost all of the posts but not responding, because I want to write a supportive response to each one! There isn't enough time for that, so I've just been paying attention instead. This is rather flakey, but, seriously, you guys are on my mind and I've been qu...	rara avis	11	612	Mar 4, 2012 by Oksie
	true to self (Preview) Have any off you seen the film eat love pray with Julia roberts in.? I love this film it is what I want need. To build a relationship with myself and my higher power. To follow the guidance from within be true to myself instead of focusing on everything and everyone but me. Fear drags me back to dysfunct...	Tracy	4	344	Mar 4, 2012 by Oksie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.