Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Thanks everyone for being there last night when I really needed you. I couldn't stop projecting and making the worst case scenerios. I ended up turning my phone on this morning and didn't get the messages I expected. I got "can you call me please, i really need to talk to you." I was sure I was g...

Oksie · Oksie

Both of which are pertinent to me in the last few days.. just wanted to share here too. March 14 - Today I am optimistic about the experiences and people that come into my life. I will view all encounters as opportunites to expand my awareness. I am not threatened by people or by situations. Challeng...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I work for a program that deals with parents of teens. I had an irate parent call me today (my staff warned me that she was "on the warpath and was absolutely impossible to deal with"). It's amazing when you allow someone to say what they have to say and not interrupt them (just like we do at our m...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I'm feeling a little speechless (obviouly not speechless enough not to write something ). Powerful speaker telling a powerful story. I'm used to getting that punched-in-the-chest, moved-to-tears feeling in Al-Anon meetings. I didn't expect it in an AA meeting. I'm not sure what I expected. Th...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Last Tuesday night, my AH and I had an intense and candid (but not ugly or abusive) conversation about his drinking. I tried to take to heart a lot of the advice in Getting Them Sober...I said what I needed to say. I wasn't mean. I was clear and direct, and I said things only once. I didn't say anything t...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Just turned my phone off because the calls wouldn't stop. he kept calling and telling me how i wasn't there for him when he needs me and he's so done with me. he knows just what to say to hurt me...saying im to busy with work and family and my animals... im literally having a panic attack because im so scared...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've been in AlAnon for 3 years and it has given me many gifts and blessings. I have been blessed to meet some wonderful people and have grown from their ESH. My struggle is this...one of my very best friends and sponsee recently passed away from a very tough battle with several types of cancer...Two m...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Thanks to everyone who took the time to send positive thoughts and prayers my way. I wasn't in the mood to share yesterday, today I have felt my feelings and think it would be good to get it off my chest. For those who haven't read my posts before, one of my qualifiers is my ex boyfriend, whom I have an active...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been with my partner 7 years . I have been in al anon 4 and a half years and he is in AA 3 years. I am not happy in this relationship whether he is drinking or not. I ended it about a months ago and he has gone bak to drinking and is blaming me. I know the 3 Cs I know it was his choice to pick up and it is his dis...

maire rua · maire rua

For some time my youngest son has put me through hell on earth. It came to a head today when he told me he was moving out and I told him to go right on ahead. I have never felt such relief in my life. He is running with a problem crowd and has not made it to school in the last six months so its been a rough one. My fath...

nonbeliever · nonbeliever

My ex and I separated 37 years ago and he and his wife have been in AA for a long time. They were both heroin addicts and met in rehab, but lied to me for years about that until I found out they both have Hepatitis C. We have one son who is 41 years old and still attempting to have some sort of meaningful relati...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Some of you might remember my sharing on my trip to go see my daughter's grandmother who was supposed to never be able to fly here to see us again. She is ill I agree but she seems to be doing better than what we were ever told she would be. We went to see her and the trip was incredibly dysfunctional and yet thr...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi guys I need some help.. today if possible!!!! Big ask given the time difference and most of you are asleep.. its now 2pm tuesday afternoon for me. I have never lied to my husband. I have never kept anything from him. Except whats inside the bright wrapper of his gift on Xmas morning that is. I am a Nurse....

Pashay · Pashay

Trying to connect with others that have been widowed by alcohol addiction. My husband of 17 years died in November of liver failure at the young age of 43. We had been seperated the last 6 months, but we were still very close, talking at least every other day. I am having a hard time dealing with his dea...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Getting ready to make a fears list as well as a mini second 4th step to share with my sponsor next time we meet .. I'm noticing this week, it seems everything is harder .. I don't really want to be around anyone lately which of course isn't really realistic. I find myself feeling guilty for having these fee...

stephaniej · stephaniej

So I have always intellectually understood the Al Anon concepts of Progress, Not Perfection and Be Kind and Gentle to Yourself. But I have always had a hard time actually implementing these in my daily life. Today at my Weight Watchers meeting, our leader said something that was a real "a-ha&...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all, I joined this group last spring and started attending face-to-face meetings, I've been doing a lot of reading, counseling, working through the steps. Last June, my ex-ABF and I broke up after 3 years together and Alanon has been such a wonderful part of my life during this last year. I'm so tha...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My daughter brought my grandson over to wash, said they didn't have money to wash at home, brought some of her and boyfriend's clothes, no detergent. She finished cleaning for me and was ready to leave, said she was in a hurry, couldn't wait for her son to finish his washing. I told her she needed to wai...

Jay76 · Jay76

Let me start of by saying that I am very new to all of this. Im just starting in my recovery process and honestly just recently realized how screwed up my childhood actually was. Ive never posted anything on any message board before and I just started really even looking at them.I am in desperate need of...

Hope4Peace · Hope4Peace

I have been going to al-anon for awhile and it's been a miracle. I'm now ready to go to Step Four, but I moved to a new city (very big city) six months ago. I'm still going to al-anon, but I don't have a sponsor, yet. While I love the meetings I attend, the members constantly change and I have not been able to fe...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

A few months back I had a situation come up where I tried to leave and AH would not let me shut my car door and would not let me leave. It was after that where I determined if it ever happened again I would call 911. I'm sure y'all are familiar with the spinning, where a conversation is started and then sudden...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My 17 y.o. grandson called this a.m. after 8a.m. when I ask where he was, he said at home. He said he didn't go to school because he didn't have any clean clothes and didn't have money to wash. I asked his why he didn't call me yesterday, I give him $20.00 when he go to church with me on Sunday. There is a wa...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am sick & tired! I am so in need of support in this area. I have been hurting & wanting to sleep all the time. This morning before I got up I had a nightmare again about my dad. I woke up crying. I miss him so much that he keeps appearing in my dreams--I heard they call that visitation. I sometimes fee...

daisy31 · daisy31

I attend 2 meetings a week and am also doing a book study meeting as well. I have been going to alanon for about 7 months now and have really found much serenity in it. Someone told me to not start the steps yet because I am still such a newbie. The thing is that this book study I am in we are really delving in...

britcatli · britcatli

I live in Carlsbad CA I am trying this out I need help maybe a woman if u live in the area please respond

amills4294 · amills4294

I admit I've been letting my recovery slip and using the excuse that life has been just too overwhelming and busy as of late. I have to get back on track and do my daily readings and start working in my 12 step workbook again (since I lost my other one!). Spouse is moving all his belongings back into our hou...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi everyone. Im not having the greatest night and could use some prayers being sent my way im really struggling and need some support thanks

Sara1976 · Sara1976

I dont understand why I feel guilty when I ask him not drink when he is with the children. He tells me that Im trying to control him that Im nothing to him and that I can live my life the way I chose and he will do the same. I almost feel pathetic to ask for that and then he says things that make me second guess myse...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My A son is keeping my off balance. He comes to me saying he wants to find a job and get his life together, I provide the needed gas to go to look for this job he says he will apply for, then he needs more gas and supplies such as washing powders, personal needs for looking clean, then he needs to go back to the in...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

Hello Everyone, It has been a while since I last spoke on here and I decided today to come and read some post from the website again. Re-reading all my post and replys was scary! I didn't realize how different I am looking back now. I have not spoken to him since January and the last time I decided to cut i...

Pushka · Pushka

I keep giving stuff to God (my HP) and then of course picking it back up. Self will WOW .. I am dealing with that one hard at the moment. Self Will does not create results it's what someone shared tonight. So true so true. So today .. God decided to give me a tiny smack up the side of the head .. apparently I n...

PhilB Ontario · PhilB Ontario

At my home group last night, one of out "long-timers" was chairing. This woman has always been hung up about the meetings going only one hour and pointing our that we should all limit our sharing. Ours is a discussion meeting, and when it came time to choose a topic, one was suggested. Someon...

emil · emil

Last night we went out for my nieces birthday at a resturant/bar. My husband drank soda and I had three beers. It felt great to get out, but he seemed a bit down the next day. I know there is nothing I can do for him, but some times I wish he would express what he is feeling. He seems bored. He is recoverin...

SeekingSanity · SeekingSanity

Gar. How can I sum this up... it seems hopelessly complicated and my mind races all around trying to make sense of the mess... My husband and I have been married for almost 17 years. We have two kids, 13 and 9. My husband was very recently fired from a job after failing a drug test for marijuana. He is full of...

mnsotakid · mnsotakid

I have a friend of mine who is trying to get sober through AA. She hasn't been very successful yet. I am an AA as well as Alanon and I have been trying to help her get sober. Yesterday her and I were talking to a mutual friend of ours who is also in AA. The friend who is attempting to recover is, in my opinion...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I took a break from focusing on my work with recovering abf and focused on my kids. Was good, worked on boundaries with teenage boy who thinks he's man of the house, and I listened to some requests he had and agreed - but we did have one short blow out first. Learning! Then made both teen boys draw up their...

atheos · atheos

The last few months, I thought I was having my quarter-life crisis. I wasn't. I thought I was in the wrong career. I'm not. It's the same old co-dependency, survivor guilt, and defects of character showing up in a new costume, and I fell for it. For a while, anyway. I'm 25, recently out of college (a littl...

pineapple · pineapple

I had a great time this morning. Took one of my dogs for a three hour hike up the mountain with a friend and his dog. I would have liked to take both of my dogs but it would have been too much for my older guy. It was nice to be in a place where the dogs could get off their leashes. They played & ran & chased...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Someone who is in AA with me, whom I do not know very well, posted something passive-aggressive on FB to me and I reacted, then apologized, then got angry a few days later and "told her off". She of course denied everything, saying she has no idea what I'm talking about, and she would like to &q...

danni · danni

Hi Everyone! I just wanted to let you know that though I am not on the computer long enough these days to post, I am reading all the posts and am thinking about you and including you in my thoughts and prayers. I so appreciate this site and encourage newcomers to keep coming back! Sending you all some uni...

glad lee · glad lee

My family of origin had an event last night, my nephew's birthday. Since coming to the program, I have had the "pleasure" (sarcasm) to be with my alcoholic family wide awake.... I had some difficult moments, I had to keep telling myself, "even though I feel like a nobody around them,...

Oksie · Oksie

It seemed that my HP Higher Power (not the sauce in the UK hahahaha) had a special like for me this weekend. So many things went my way, little things. The angels were with me and they showed themselves to be helping out. Saturday morning I went for breakfast with a friend down on the boardwalk, its wet se...

frustratedandconfused · frustratedandconfused

Hi! I am new to this board and just don't know where to turn anymore. Let me start by giving you my background. I am an only child that lived with a functioning (for the most part) alcoholic father my entire life....vodka, hiding bottles, constant fights with my mom...the whole thing until he eventuall...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, my AH caught me crying last night. I am finally mourning the loss of my dad who passed away 3 months ago. I was not crying about AHs crap. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that it was just life getting me down and took that as an invitation to discuss a few things. It was the first conversation wwe'v...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

It has now been 1 week no internet at my home and I have checked in a couple times, but not had time to reply. It helps me to come here and read and I just want everyone to know I am still hear listening and sending love and support to you all on your journey's toward a healthier life! Things have been going well...

rehprof · rehprof

I've been working on being kinder and more accepting of myself...lots of reading and journaling... came across this quote this morning...and wanted to share Accepting our flaws doesnt mean that our behavior cant or shouldnt change for the better. Acceptance is in the present moment. Each one of u...

dave · dave

Not sure what to say worried about my wifes drinking, every night... I beg for her to have breaks, but she rarely does.. (seemingly not massive amounts what I know), but I have found spirits watered down and wine bottles hidden... We are arguing over this every day and it is putting massive strain on ma...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Have been doing pretty well at remaining calm and trying not to argue with my AH when he starts his lying and accusations but he had gone on for so long the past 2 days that at 3am, I am staring at the ceiling, literally with my head/hair in my hands because I'm so frustrated. I snapped and called his c...

Bead · Bead

Hello, I've just joined even though I've been reading off and on for awhile. Thank you for the encouraging words I've read. I've been going to face-to-face meeting for about 20 months but I need something for when I can't make it or chaos breaks out at home. So, recovering AH and I have been fighting aga...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42763

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

On this one I give carte blanch to give advice. No worries, I sift through it all. I find that outside views give me things to think about that I might not otherwise. My friend that I've been dating a few months, and who for the basis of giving a short background is a military vet with PTSD, got sober 3 years...

jlove · jlove

hi, i'm new here and trying to keep or should i say regain my sanity. I broke up with my abf even though i still call him my bf. its been three weeks and yesterday and the day before are the only days we havent fought. about a week ago i told him to no longer text or call me when he was intoxicated. he is both an al...

db55 · db55

Needing to vent this evening. AH (2 months sober/ 20+ years in and out of AA) tells me tonight that "we need to talk" Me: Ok, what's up? AH: You know I really want to buy an airplane, right? Me: On the ceiling, trying to calm down and calmly say: Well, after you pay that $34,000 you borro...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

The topic in my weekly meeting last night was serenity. It got me thinking on the subject and I realized that in spite of attending Al Anon meetings for over a year now, serenity is something that is lacking from my life. When I come home from work, I am still filled with anxiety in that moment I walk throug...

TLD · TLD

Just thought I'd post an update. I am still living with my parents with my daughter and it looks like it might be like that for a while until lots of court hearings are done. He is still living in the house where I have to pay half the mortgage and when I queried if anything had been thought of about the house...

rehprof · rehprof

Progress, not perfection... I have not been able to accept this mantra with regard to my house. I work 60 hours a week, and it's all I can do as a single mom to keep up with all that is expected of me...car maintenance, house maintenance, laundry, meals and groceries, homework...shoveling..grading pa...

daisy31 · daisy31

Me and my husband take our son to a psychologist to help him with his adhd and my husband and I alternate going with our son. My husband went yesterday and he told me that the psychologist noticed that I am very hard on myself and that I pressure myself to be a perfect mother. The psychologist also said th...

Pushka · Pushka

and I discovered .. I'm so not liking it .. well .. rephrase .. part of me is really digging it the other part is saying .. ummm .. not so much. The part that is not so much is the part that still is hurting and trying to rationalize with an irrational situation. The part that is liking it is the softer part of m...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

So tell me what things you do, ask yourself or contemplate to determine if a motive is enabling or caring. I still struggle with this. I come from a big, big family, being there for friends and family is a HUGE part of my upbringing and I embrace it with abandon. I love doing things for people I love.For...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have been thinking about how my own twisted thinking has contributed to the problems in our marriage. I would like to make amends to my AH and try to start mending fences but I don't know if he'll even respond positively based on where he is emotionally right now. I want to tell him that it hurts every t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I turned my phone back on... (Preview) Thanks everyone for being there last night when I really needed you. I couldn't stop projecting and making the worst case scenerios. I ended up turning my phone on this morning and didn't get the messages I expected. I got "can you call me please, i really need to talk to you." I was sure I was g...	Corgi2	4	482	Mar 16, 2012 by Pushka
	ACA daily affirmations (Preview) Both of which are pertinent to me in the last few days.. just wanted to share here too. March 14 - Today I am optimistic about the experiences and people that come into my life. I will view all encounters as opportunites to expand my awareness. I am not threatened by people or by situations. Challeng...	Oksie	0	3121	Mar 16, 2012 by Oksie
	Using My Al-Anon Toolbelt at Work (Preview) I work for a program that deals with parents of teens. I had an irate parent call me today (my staff warned me that she was "on the warpath and was absolutely impossible to deal with"). It's amazing when you allow someone to say what they have to say and not interrupt them (just like we do at our m...	Green Eyes	5	463	Mar 16, 2012 by Aloha
	Went to my first Open AA meeting (Preview) I'm feeling a little speechless (obviouly not speechless enough not to write something ). Powerful speaker telling a powerful story. I'm used to getting that punched-in-the-chest, moved-to-tears feeling in Al-Anon meetings. I didn't expect it in an AA meeting. I'm not sure what I expected. Th...	Very Very Tired	3	555	Mar 15, 2012 by Sweet Stanley
	It works when you work it (Preview) Last Tuesday night, my AH and I had an intense and candid (but not ugly or abusive) conversation about his drinking. I tried to take to heart a lot of the advice in Getting Them Sober...I said what I needed to say. I wasn't mean. I was clear and direct, and I said things only once. I didn't say anything t...	stephaniej	8	719	Mar 15, 2012 by ilovedogs
	FREAKING OUT (Preview) Just turned my phone off because the calls wouldn't stop. he kept calling and telling me how i wasn't there for him when he needs me and he's so done with me. he knows just what to say to hurt me...saying im to busy with work and family and my animals... im literally having a panic attack because im so scared...	Corgi2	6	508	Mar 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Struggling.... (Preview) I've been in AlAnon for 3 years and it has given me many gifts and blessings. I have been blessed to meet some wonderful people and have grown from their ESH. My struggle is this...one of my very best friends and sponsee recently passed away from a very tough battle with several types of cancer...Two m...	shellyj123	8	865	Mar 15, 2012 by maryjane
	Thanks for the love...still struggling (Preview) Thanks to everyone who took the time to send positive thoughts and prayers my way. I wasn't in the mood to share yesterday, today I have felt my feelings and think it would be good to get it off my chest. For those who haven't read my posts before, one of my qualifiers is my ex boyfriend, whom I have an active...	Corgi2	3	389	Mar 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	need to work my programme. (Preview) I have been with my partner 7 years . I have been in al anon 4 and a half years and he is in AA 3 years. I am not happy in this relationship whether he is drinking or not. I ended it about a months ago and he has gone bak to drinking and is blaming me. I know the 3 Cs I know it was his choice to pick up and it is his dis...	Tracy	3	446	Mar 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	Problem son (Preview) For some time my youngest son has put me through hell on earth. It came to a head today when he told me he was moving out and I told him to go right on ahead. I have never felt such relief in my life. He is running with a problem crowd and has not made it to school in the last six months so its been a rough one. My fath...	maire rua	4	557	Mar 15, 2012 by pinkchip
	What to do with exhusband (Preview) My ex and I separated 37 years ago and he and his wife have been in AA for a long time. They were both heroin addicts and met in rehab, but lied to me for years about that until I found out they both have Hepatitis C. We have one son who is 41 years old and still attempting to have some sort of meaningful relati...	nonbeliever	13	940	Mar 14, 2012 by John
	Anger (Preview) Some of you might remember my sharing on my trip to go see my daughter's grandmother who was supposed to never be able to fly here to see us again. She is ill I agree but she seems to be doing better than what we were ever told she would be. We went to see her and the trip was incredibly dysfunctional and yet thr...	MeTwo2	8	627	Mar 14, 2012 by Oksie
	Help please (Preview) Hi guys I need some help.. today if possible!!!! Big ask given the time difference and most of you are asleep.. its now 2pm tuesday afternoon for me. I have never lied to my husband. I have never kept anything from him. Except whats inside the bright wrapper of his gift on Xmas morning that is. I am a Nurse....	Oksie	15	685	Mar 14, 2012 by Oksie
	Looking for others who have been widowed by alcohol addiction (Preview) Trying to connect with others that have been widowed by alcohol addiction. My husband of 17 years died in November of liver failure at the young age of 43. We had been seperated the last 6 months, but we were still very close, talking at least every other day. I am having a hard time dealing with his dea...	Pashay	2	668	Mar 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	Just tired .. (Preview) Getting ready to make a fears list as well as a mini second 4th step to share with my sponsor next time we meet .. I'm noticing this week, it seems everything is harder .. I don't really want to be around anyone lately which of course isn't really realistic. I find myself feeling guilty for having these fee...	MeTwo2	2	349	Mar 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Reframing Some Tried and True Al Anon Sayings (Preview) So I have always intellectually understood the Al Anon concepts of Progress, Not Perfection and Be Kind and Gentle to Yourself. But I have always had a hard time actually implementing these in my daily life. Today at my Weight Watchers meeting, our leader said something that was a real "a-ha&...	stephaniej	7	528	Mar 14, 2012 by pinkchip
	Needing some ES&H (Preview) Hi all, I joined this group last spring and started attending face-to-face meetings, I've been doing a lot of reading, counseling, working through the steps. Last June, my ex-ABF and I broke up after 3 years together and Alanon has been such a wonderful part of my life during this last year. I'm so tha...	Doozy	12	588	Mar 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Crazy daughter annonced she maybe going to jail! (Preview) My daughter brought my grandson over to wash, said they didn't have money to wash at home, brought some of her and boyfriend's clothes, no detergent. She finished cleaning for me and was ready to leave, said she was in a hurry, couldn't wait for her son to finish his washing. I told her she needed to wai...	Highlyfavored	2	527	Mar 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I want to fix my marriage (Preview) Let me start of by saying that I am very new to all of this. Im just starting in my recovery process and honestly just recently realized how screwed up my childhood actually was. Ive never posted anything on any message board before and I just started really even looking at them.I am in desperate need of...	Jay76	7	878	Mar 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Advice on Step 4 (Preview) I have been going to al-anon for awhile and it's been a miracle. I'm now ready to go to Step Four, but I moved to a new city (very big city) six months ago. I'm still going to al-anon, but I don't have a sponsor, yet. While I love the meetings I attend, the members constantly change and I have not been able to fe...	Hope4Peace	6	473	Mar 14, 2012 by Hope4Peace
	Boundaries (Preview) A few months back I had a situation come up where I tried to leave and AH would not let me shut my car door and would not let me leave. It was after that where I determined if it ever happened again I would call 911. I'm sure y'all are familiar with the spinning, where a conversation is started and then sudden...	Jackie11	12	696	Mar 14, 2012 by Jackie11
	It's always something!!! (Preview) My 17 y.o. grandson called this a.m. after 8a.m. when I ask where he was, he said at home. He said he didn't go to school because he didn't have any clean clothes and didn't have money to wash. I asked his why he didn't call me yesterday, I give him $20.00 when he go to church with me on Sunday. There is a wa...	Highlyfavored	3	605	Mar 14, 2012 by Oksie
	sick & tired of being sick & tired; can anyone relate? (Preview) I am sick & tired! I am so in need of support in this area. I have been hurting & wanting to sleep all the time. This morning before I got up I had a nightmare again about my dad. I woke up crying. I miss him so much that he keeps appearing in my dreams--I heard they call that visitation. *I sometimes fee...*	Hoot Nanny	1	435	Mar 14, 2012 by Oksie
	Being so honest is making me squirm... (Preview) I attend 2 meetings a week and am also doing a book study meeting as well. I have been going to alanon for about 7 months now and have really found much serenity in it. Someone told me to not start the steps yet because I am still such a newbie. The thing is that this book study I am in we are really delving in...	daisy31	6	1859	Mar 14, 2012 by Oksie
	new!!!! (Preview) I live in Carlsbad CA I am trying this out I need help maybe a woman if u live in the area please respond	britcatli	1	372	Mar 13, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Trying to get back into the groove (Preview) I admit I've been letting my recovery slip and using the excuse that life has been just too overwhelming and busy as of late. I have to get back on track and do my daily readings and start working in my 12 step workbook again (since I lost my other one!). Spouse is moving all his belongings back into our hou...	amills4294	3	409	Mar 13, 2012 by amills4294
	Having a hard time... (Preview) Hi everyone. Im not having the greatest night and could use some prayers being sent my way im really struggling and need some support thanks	Corgi2	7	473	Mar 13, 2012 by hotrod
	Why is it always the non alcoholic that is the bad guy? (Preview) I dont understand why I feel guilty when I ask him not drink when he is with the children. He tells me that Im trying to control him that Im nothing to him and that I can live my life the way I chose and he will do the same. I almost feel pathetic to ask for that and then he says things that make me second guess myse...	Sara1976	10	639	Mar 13, 2012 by Very Very Tired
	I Don't Have The Wisdom..... (Preview) My A son is keeping my off balance. He comes to me saying he wants to find a job and get his life together, I provide the needed gas to go to look for this job he says he will apply for, then he needs more gas and supplies such as washing powders, personal needs for looking clean, then he needs to go back to the in...	DreamsOver	4	510	Mar 13, 2012 by Oksie
	99% FEELING GREAT!!! 1% WORRY LEFT IN ME!!!! (Preview) Hello Everyone, It has been a while since I last spoke on here and I decided today to come and read some post from the website again. Re-reading all my post and replys was scary! I didn't realize how different I am looking back now. I have not spoken to him since January and the last time I decided to cut i...	Julie3310	2	503	Mar 13, 2012 by oldergal
	Realization .. (Preview) I keep giving stuff to God (my HP) and then of course picking it back up. Self will WOW .. I am dealing with that one hard at the moment. Self Will does not create results it's what someone shared tonight. So true so true. So today .. God decided to give me a tiny smack up the side of the head .. apparently I n...	Pushka	8	725	Mar 13, 2012 by pineapple
	Stumbling block to recovery (Preview) At my home group last night, one of out "long-timers" was chairing. This woman has always been hung up about the meetings going only one hour and pointing our that we should all limit our sharing. Ours is a discussion meeting, and when it came time to choose a topic, one was suggested. Someon...	PhilB Ontario	7	625	Mar 13, 2012 by Jerry F
	sometimes he seems so bored and down (Preview) Last night we went out for my nieces birthday at a resturant/bar. My husband drank soda and I had three beers. It felt great to get out, but he seemed a bit down the next day. I know there is nothing I can do for him, but some times I wish he would express what he is feeling. He seems bored. He is recoverin...	emil	5	636	Mar 13, 2012 by emil
	I am seeking my sanity... (Preview) Gar. How can I sum this up... it seems hopelessly complicated and my mind races all around trying to make sense of the mess... My husband and I have been married for almost 17 years. We have two kids, 13 and 9. My husband was very recently fired from a job after failing a drug test for marijuana. He is full of...	SeekingSanity	5	677	Mar 12, 2012 by SeekingSanity
	Incident with friend (Preview) I have a friend of mine who is trying to get sober through AA. She hasn't been very successful yet. I am an AA as well as Alanon and I have been trying to help her get sober. Yesterday her and I were talking to a mutual friend of ours who is also in AA. The friend who is attempting to recover is, in my opinion...	mnsotakid	4	432	Mar 12, 2012 by likemyheart
	Took a break, but not really (Preview) I took a break from focusing on my work with recovering abf and focused on my kids. Was good, worked on boundaries with teenage boy who thinks he's man of the house, and I listened to some requests he had and agreed - but we did have one short blow out first. Learning! Then made both teen boys draw up their...	AStrongerMe	2	419	Mar 12, 2012 by Pushka
	No world-saving (Preview) The last few months, I thought I was having my quarter-life crisis. I wasn't. I thought I was in the wrong career. I'm not. It's the same old co-dependency, survivor guilt, and defects of character showing up in a new costume, and I fell for it. For a while, anyway. I'm 25, recently out of college (a littl...	atheos	4	556	Mar 12, 2012 by Oksie
	so hard (Preview) I had a great time this morning. Took one of my dogs for a three hour hike up the mountain with a friend and his dog. I would have liked to take both of my dogs but it would have been too much for my older guy. It was nice to be in a place where the dogs could get off their leashes. They played & ran & chased...	pineapple	7	567	Mar 12, 2012 by Jerry F
	Advice needed please (Preview) Someone who is in AA with me, whom I do not know very well, posted something passive-aggressive on FB to me and I reacted, then apologized, then got angry a few days later and "told her off". She of course denied everything, saying she has no idea what I'm talking about, and she would like to &q...	WorkingThroughIt	10	619	Mar 12, 2012 by Oksie
	I'm here (Preview) Hi Everyone! I just wanted to let you know that though I am not on the computer long enough these days to post, I am reading all the posts and am thinking about you and including you in my thoughts and prayers. I so appreciate this site and encourage newcomers to keep coming back! Sending you all some uni...	danni	4	394	Mar 12, 2012 by Pushka
	Praying ONLY for knowledge of His will... (Preview) My family of origin had an event last night, my nephew's birthday. Since coming to the program, I have had the "pleasure" (sarcasm) to be with my alcoholic family wide awake.... I had some difficult moments, I had to keep telling myself, "even though I feel like a nobody around them,...	glad lee	3	647	Mar 12, 2012 by Michelle814
	HP with me this weekend (Preview) It seemed that my HP Higher Power (not the sauce in the UK hahahaha) had a special like for me this weekend. So many things went my way, little things. The angels were with me and they showed themselves to be helping out. Saturday morning I went for breakfast with a friend down on the boardwalk, its wet se...	Oksie	2	420	Mar 12, 2012 by Michelle814
	Is he crazy or am I? (Preview) Hi! I am new to this board and just don't know where to turn anymore. Let me start by giving you my background. I am an only child that lived with a functioning (for the most part) alcoholic father my entire life....vodka, hiding bottles, constant fights with my mom...the whole thing until he eventuall...	frustratedandconfused	24	740	Mar 12, 2012 by frustratedandconfused
	When the A sounds lucid and believable (Preview) So, my AH caught me crying last night. I am finally mourning the loss of my dad who passed away 3 months ago. I was not crying about AHs crap. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that it was just life getting me down and took that as an invitation to discuss a few things. It was the first conversation wwe'v...	ilovedogs	5	672	Mar 11, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Checking in and catching up! (Preview) It has now been 1 week no internet at my home and I have checked in a couple times, but not had time to reply. It helps me to come here and read and I just want everyone to know I am still hear listening and sending love and support to you all on your journey's toward a healthier life! Things have been going well...	Breakingfree	6	440	Mar 11, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Hard on Myself (Preview) I've been working on being kinder and more accepting of myself...lots of reading and journaling... came across this quote this morning...and wanted to share Accepting our flaws doesnt mean that our behavior cant or shouldnt change for the better. Acceptance is in the present moment. Each one of u...	rehprof	9	488	Mar 11, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	New to this (Preview) Not sure what to say worried about my wifes drinking, every night... I beg for her to have breaks, but she rarely does.. (seemingly not massive amounts what I know), but I have found spirits watered down and wine bottles hidden... We are arguing over this every day and it is putting massive strain on ma...	dave	4	440	Mar 11, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Boy, Did I Blow It! (Preview) Have been doing pretty well at remaining calm and trying not to argue with my AH when he starts his lying and accusations but he had gone on for so long the past 2 days that at 3am, I am staring at the ceiling, literally with my head/hair in my hands because I'm so frustrated. I snapped and called his c...	WornOutMrsFixIt	5	653	Mar 11, 2012 by Jennifer
	Now it's my fault (Preview) Hello, I've just joined even though I've been reading off and on for awhile. Thank you for the encouraging words I've read. I've been going to face-to-face meeting for about 20 months but I need something for when I can't make it or chaos breaks out at home. So, recovering AH and I have been fighting aga...	Bead	4	400	Mar 11, 2012 by Bead
	8th Step ---- Step Work Board (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42763	hotrod	1	391	Mar 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I'm seeking actual feedback (Preview) On this one I give carte blanch to give advice. No worries, I sift through it all. I find that outside views give me things to think about that I might not otherwise. My friend that I've been dating a few months, and who for the basis of giving a short background is a military vet with PTSD, got sober 3 years...	AStrongerMe	9	519	Mar 10, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	new to alanon (Preview) hi, i'm new here and trying to keep or should i say regain my sanity. I broke up with my abf even though i still call him my bf. its been three weeks and yesterday and the day before are the only days we havent fought. about a week ago i told him to no longer text or call me when he was intoxicated. he is both an al...	jlove	3	359	Mar 10, 2012 by pineapple
	Just need to vent... (Preview) Needing to vent this evening. AH (2 months sober/ 20+ years in and out of AA) tells me tonight that "we need to talk" Me: Ok, what's up? AH: You know I really want to buy an airplane, right? Me: On the ceiling, trying to calm down and calmly say: Well, after you pay that $34,000 you borro...	db55	6	518	Mar 10, 2012 by db55
	Serenity (Preview) The topic in my weekly meeting last night was serenity. It got me thinking on the subject and I realized that in spite of attending Al Anon meetings for over a year now, serenity is something that is lacking from my life. When I come home from work, I am still filled with anxiety in that moment I walk throug...	usedtobeanyer	11	653	Mar 10, 2012 by Mattie
	Update, frusterated but happy (Preview) Just thought I'd post an update. I am still living with my parents with my daughter and it looks like it might be like that for a while until lots of court hearings are done. He is still living in the house where I have to pay half the mortgage and when I queried if anything had been thought of about the house...	TLD	3	473	Mar 10, 2012 by Pushka
	House-related Shame (Preview) Progress, not perfection... I have not been able to accept this mantra with regard to my house. I work 60 hours a week, and it's all I can do as a single mom to keep up with all that is expected of me...car maintenance, house maintenance, laundry, meals and groceries, homework...shoveling..grading pa...	rehprof	19	2082	Mar 10, 2012 by Oksie
	He thinks I am to hard on myself-I'm embarrassed (Preview) Me and my husband take our son to a psychologist to help him with his adhd and my husband and I alternate going with our son. My husband went yesterday and he told me that the psychologist noticed that I am very hard on myself and that I pressure myself to be a perfect mother. The psychologist also said th...	daisy31	8	454	Mar 10, 2012 by Jerry F
	I feel human (Preview) and I discovered .. I'm so not liking it .. well .. rephrase .. part of me is really digging it the other part is saying .. ummm .. not so much. The part that is not so much is the part that still is hurting and trying to rationalize with an irrational situation. The part that is liking it is the softer part of m...	Pushka	3	568	Mar 10, 2012 by hotrod
	Fine line between enabling and caring (Preview) So tell me what things you do, ask yourself or contemplate to determine if a motive is enabling or caring. I still struggle with this. I come from a big, big family, being there for friends and family is a HUGE part of my upbringing and I embrace it with abandon. I love doing things for people I love.For...	AStrongerMe	11	773	Mar 9, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Ever go to the A with your heart in your hands? (Preview) I have been thinking about how my own twisted thinking has contributed to the problems in our marriage. I would like to make amends to my AH and try to start mending fences but I don't know if he'll even respond positively based on where he is emotionally right now. I want to tell him that it hurts every t...	ilovedogs	10	594	Mar 9, 2012 by ilovedogs
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.