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the first person I couldn't trust...
(Preview)
... was me As a child I saw things and heard things and experienced things that were totally incongruent. (I am sure we could all agree). There were promises made that weren't kept, which sometimes resulted in me being physically and emotionally hurt. The person that showed me such love and care at t...
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Oksie
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6
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318
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Thank You
(Preview)
http://alanon.activeboard.com/t38730205/okay-so-what-can-we-do/
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Jackie11
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1
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239
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If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...
(Preview)
then its probably a duck. For those of you who don't know me, or I haven't PM'd.... its me.... Linda.... O, I changed my profile name Asmany of you may be aware, I have been doing ALOT of work on myself through the psychologist. Alot of FOO work and childhood stuff. I have been doing DBT to address issu...
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Oksie
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8
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680
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"Wisdom is Better than Silver or Gold"
(Preview)
We adopted this cat two months (ish) back. She is pregnant. She is blind. and I am allergic to her. She is the sweetest creature I have ever seen. I love her so much. I just want to pick her up, hold her, stroke her little beard chin, cuddle her, and show her how much I love her. But I can't because I will sneez...
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Michelle814
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4
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291
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One Month Update
(Preview)
Well, as of March 3 it has been one month since my AH's last explosive relapse. He has found a new counselor, I have removed the gun from our home and have an exit plan should I need it. We went to his weekly AA meeting on Saturday night where he celebrated one month of sobriety. He is reading some new literat...
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surfgirl123
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6
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354
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Communication issue
(Preview)
So I am learning in the alanon meetings how to not give advice but to just share my ES&H. It is actually quite a relief to not have to come up with a plan on what someone else should do. I am however struggling with how to communicate with friends (who are not in the program) who come to me with wanting m...
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daisy31
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5
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498
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Trying to decide how to handle a relatively small issue
(Preview)
And of course, I thought to bring it to you all, because you are all such a great touchstone for me. Although my journey is very much "three steps forward, two steps back," I do feel like overall I am in a much better place than I was in a year ago. As I get better at turning my AH over to his HP and d...
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stephaniej
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7
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654
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?? Confusion After First Meeting - HELP!!
(Preview)
Hope I haven't accidentally erased my first comment where I describe my situation. I attended my first face to face meeting last night although I have been reading here for a couple of weeks. After reading the literature today, I realized that I have been handling some things in the wrong way and wonde...
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WornOutMrsFixIt
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5
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504
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Need esh badly!
(Preview)
My a/a's including my son, daughter, my daughter's boyfriend, and my daughters adult son, one of them stole a gold diamond ring and a pair of gold ear rings, I'm totally heardbroken, I loved those ear rings. I got over that, thinking God doesn't want me loving material things so much. The heart break...
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Highlyfavored
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8
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510
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hello
(Preview)
Just want to write and say hello to everyone. I hope you all know what it means to have this support, when I need it, at my finger tips. I feel so very grateful for all I have been blessed with in my life. I feel very strong right now and as if the winds are blowing in a new direction for me. I think of Mary Popp...
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Michelle814
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7
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453
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Combing through
(Preview)
http://alanon.activeboard.com/t46121273/inspired-by-old-post/
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Jackie11
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9
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415
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Advice please on whether I should detach and how
(Preview)
My favorite and I are both codependents and adult children. I have not been able to be close to for years because we're both sick, basically. I am also an alcoholic. I have stayed sober for years and have done an inordinate amount of hard work on myself in AA and have come out of denial abuot being the scape...
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WorkingThroughIt
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13
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583
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The lie of drinking
(Preview)
I posted this on the AA board but wanted to post it here too because I know some of you can relate because you've seen this to be true in your qualifiers. I love this poem though it makes me very sad: I drank for happiness and became unhappy; I drank for joy and became miserable. I drank to be out-going and be...
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pinkchip
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8
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446
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It's not easy
(Preview)
It's not easy turning an alcoholic over to his/her Higher Power. But, there comes a point where it is the only option left. I had to try all the other options first. It's who I am and what I do. After trying everything, I finally know no human power can release my AH from his addiction. It's painful because...
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Very Very Tired
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10
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403
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Online meetings and Sponsorship
(Preview)
Hi I am new, and cannot get to f2f Alanon meetings. Can I get a sponsor online and are there meetings here? Thanks Lady Bug
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Lady Bug
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4
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336
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ESH on post-detachment train wreckage?
(Preview)
First, most importantly: I've been reading almost all of the posts but not responding, because I want to write a supportive response to each one! There isn't enough time for that, so I've just been paying attention instead. This is rather flakey, but, seriously, you guys are on my mind and I've been qu...
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rara avis
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11
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590
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true to self
(Preview)
Have any off you seen the film eat love pray with Julia roberts in.? I love this film it is what I want need. To build a relationship with myself and my higher power. To follow the guidance from within be true to myself instead of focusing on everything and everyone but me. Fear drags me back to dysfunct...
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Tracy
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4
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330
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Boyfriend still in denial
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I truly hope I can get some some feedback on my issue here. I broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend just yesterday. We had only been dating for a little over five months but I soon realized that his social drinking was much more than he claimed. He never got violent or physically abusive in...
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FreeSpirit67
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7
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392
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Now I know what a midlife crisis feels like.
(Preview)
Diagnosed myself after reading an article and it said everything that I was feeling. Of course I FEEL like I've got good reasons (debt, bad marriage, kid having problems, bored with my job which is becoming more stressful each year). But whatever the reasons, i sit here looking back on my life and fee...
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mjhyankees
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5
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492
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The second part of the serenity prayer
(Preview)
At a meeting last night, someone read the second part of the serenity prayer, which I had never heard before. Not sure if this is common knowledge or not. Actually the Wikipedia page for the Serenity Prayer is really fascinating: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer Anyway, here is the...
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usedtobeanyer
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5
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2081
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al anon changed me
(Preview)
Recently I started "seeing" a man who has 10 years of sobriety. Normally I am such a sucker for lonely needy men. Lately I have been asserting my boundaries a lot. My sponsor instructed me pretty firmly if they cross your boundaries get out of there. Needless to say this guy in his "...
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orchidlover
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5
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414
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help please- the positive side of ambiguity?
(Preview)
Today, I was asked to consider the positive side of ambiguity. I'd appreciate help, please. Thank you.
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bud
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10
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785
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Questioning my son's PO
(Preview)
Today my 22yrs AS PO got a OK from the court to give him a probationary licenes. Here I thought I was doing good working my steps but I have to say this brings out my every want to "control". He was lucky on his 4th DUI and the court sent him to treatment rather than 5 years in prision but of coarse th...
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debbiems
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3
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393
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Far to serious ..
(Preview)
Lately, I have noticed that I have been far to serious about my recovery program and I had a good giggle the other day. I figured I would share as my children are constant reminders of what is and is not important. #1 daughter apparently had enough of #1 son and decided to get even with him. I was in the kit...
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Pushka
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7
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425
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You don't have to move fast, just keep movin' forward.
(Preview)
You don't have to move fast, just keep movin' forward. This isn't from the alanon literature but I sure like it and wanted to share. It reminds me that I can go at my own pace. I can grow and learn and make mistakes at my own pace. I don't have to rush myself anymore. Before Alanon, I thought I had to rush e...
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daisy31
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4
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309
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The Three A's?
(Preview)
My sponsor sent me an email today and wrote to me that "the three A's are alive and well in your life." I believe she meant this as a postive thing. I'm not able to reach her today, so could someone remind me what the "three A's" are? I'm familiar with the "three C's", but I...
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Green Eyes
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6
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1929
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Felony charges on husband
(Preview)
My husband stole from me one too many times today. There have been a hundred days just like today that were followed with threats of calling the police, some yelling, some pouting, and then I chalked it up to being just another day in the life of me- and went on with things. Today I realized that if anyone...
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respect
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9
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700
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Today's reminder, Courage to Change
(Preview)
From the Today's Reminder for March 1 from Courage to Change: "If we understand, things are just as they are. If we do not understand, things are just as they are"--Zen Proverb I related so much to this, specifically with the need to know if my wife has drank or not. But knowing doesn't change...
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usedtobeanyer
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4
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772
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well...I got out of bed by noon!
(Preview)
I hope I am not going through some kind of cycle cause today among other days I am having trouble getting out of bed! I don't feel depressed but sometimes I just want to stay in bed. I don't really want to analyze my life--I really need to talk about it w/ a professional maybe--nah, I think I will pass! I am su...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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366
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High/Low
(Preview)
I knew that just having the conversation about needing help and a 3 day detox meant nothing more then the words said. I know this. I know that life now is so different because of Al-Anon. I know that reading and researching have allowed me to grow and let go. What I struggle with, is what is just the reality...
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Jackie11
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6
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324
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Spectacular crash and burn
(Preview)
Despite my optimism and healthy outlook this morning, when my AH called this afternoon on his way to work, it was obvious that he was in a terrible mood. Presumably this was because, once again, he slept away most of the day after drinking last night, and was not able to complete the large majority of the...
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stephaniej
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9
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402
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Really need some ESH!
(Preview)
Well, my husband was physically abusive a secret A and addict. I had to get a protective order because of that. I have had a protective order for a while, I had to go to court for it on Monday just to make sure it stayed in place. I have also filed for divorce and my lawyer has been talking to my A. My lawyer...
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ttpurtee
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5
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439
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Lisa's New Normal
(Preview)
"Worry is the darkroom where negatives are developed." - Unknown I think this quote should be a new al-anon slogan! I don't know how many times I've "projected" about things the alcoholic was going to do (or someone else for that matter) that never occured. I've wasted so many...
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Overcome
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2
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391
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Anxiety Attacks, Whining Titty Baby!
(Preview)
Yep, thats me! The guy that so many think of as big bad John, the "GetterDone" guy, the one that so many come to when their ass is in a vise and their head is stuck in their ass... I have been to the ER twice in the past week for anxiety attacks. At first I went thinking I was having respirory problems, couldn...
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John
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19
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1014
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professional interventionist??
(Preview)
I have been married 15 years, together almost 20, three kids ages 6,6, and 11. My husband is what I guess you call a functioning alcoholic. He is a professional (although currently laid off which is what is probobly led to this crisis), responsible and most of the time a great father. In any social si...
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nunu102
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8
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553
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Reflection on My 3 Year Alanon Birthday
(Preview)
I just returned from my home group meeting tonight. We honor members' Alanon birthdays during our last meeting of the month, so today was the day I received my three year token. As corny as it sounds, it really does seem like yesterday when I arrived at my first Alanon meeting. I had hit bottom. I was a cry...
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Green Eyes
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6
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331
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Feeling neglected by my AH
(Preview)
My AH has decided to throw himself into his job since his DUI. He is keeping his distance from me and hasn't made any advances intimately, at all. If I don't approach him for a hug, I wouldn't get one. I had a friend in Al Anon tell me that he's probably just beating himself up so much right now that he does...
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ilovedogs
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8
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582
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Stugglin Again at Loss.... :'(
(Preview)
Sorry Its Been awhile again, Just so Much Goin on and Seems to be No End in Sight... I want to Thank ALL of You that Prayed for My Friend Patty that Had Cancer... Her Lord Took Her Home a little over a Week ago, and Tho I Miss her Dearly, What she Taught me these Last 3 years in Al-Anon, I will Hold Dear to My He...
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Jozie
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6
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507
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Panic-- any ideas would be welcomed
(Preview)
I need to kick both my adult children out of my home! long story short my oldest is accusing my youngest of stealing from him, he is missing money this morning and swears he didn't loose it at the bar last night while he was out drinking. He believes his little brother took the money this morning while he w...
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debbiems
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6
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438
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The brief encounter with my past
(Preview)
Hello Everyone, It has been a minute since I last wrote here, but I guess that is a good thing. I tend to vent on here when i worry about my ex. It has been almost 2 months since it has been over and I never felt better. I have started excersing and losing weight. Getting back into my arts and hobbies and busin...
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Julie3310
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4
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315
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A Newbie's Update
(Preview)
Update: I did attend my first "real" meeting tonight with my son. We plan to go back. Everyone was very nice and made us feel welcome. Also, I did get the job at the Attorney's office so I am now working two days a week there but I believe it will soon be three days a week which will ease my mind a l...
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WornOutMrsFixIt
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6
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466
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Just for Today
(Preview)
Just for today, I am choosing to stay married to my AH. I am choosing to be grateful, instead of hurt, that he will not contact me at all this morning...grateful that I will be spared the drama. Today i am choosing to focus on all the positives in my life, to simply accept that I am tired and sore from movin...
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stephaniej
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4
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373
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Big 4 weeks
(Preview)
Ok .. I thought I was ready to switch over to a whole month however not yet .. lol. Maybe at 8 weeks I will feel better about it. Long and short of things, my worst fear happened and I had a light bulb moment that I"m going to be ok. The kids are going to be ok too. The kids have been what I'm really strug...
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Pushka
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6
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432
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New Kid on the Block
(Preview)
So happy to have found this discussion board this morning. Won't go into all the details of how I found it but I do believe it was an answered prayer. I have done a lot of searching for information on the internet but I believe I've found what I'm looking for here. My husband and I have been married for 25 y...
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WornOutMrsFixIt
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13
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549
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My Story
(Preview)
I told "My Story" this last Thursday night at the open AA/Alanon meeting. I just wanted you all to know how enriching this was for me. I was nervous but it just felt so right to do. The members of AA/Alanon want my AH and I to be the speakers at the next roundup. What a compliment! Will we do this...
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Sweet Stanley
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3
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385
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waiting on them-sad
(Preview)
okay, I will try and make this short. I am struggling tonight because I miss my parents and siblings. I really miss them but at the same time being around them makes me not feel so good and I am really working on recovery and making progress and finding some serenity. There has been very minimal contact...
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daisy31
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6
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420
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February's End
(Preview)
My husband and I had an argument. No one flipped out or got over dramatic. He heard me out. I heard him out. Then he did the dishes and I vacuumed the living room. He said he used to have to be right but with the help from AA he does not have to anymore. I was wondering if I am an alcoholic because I started thin...
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Michelle814
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9
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348
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Same ole nonsense
(Preview)
So my ex is angry at me (again) - because I had the audacity to leave a message three days after he was supposed to give some money (but didn't)towards HIS motorcycle payment which I'd been paying on alone for the last four months. I have decided that I will take the credit hit, the loan is in my name only and...
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likemyheart
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2
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452
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That dang hardware store USED to be a bread store!
(Preview)
I've been so proud of myself over the last few days; I've shaken off the negativity I had for weeks. I'm being much gentler with myself, and less judgmental of my AH. My worst time of day is always right now...I've been at work for a couple of hours, I know my AH is oversleeping and thus not taking care of th...
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stephaniej
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6
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393
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REALLY had to work my program over the past few days
(Preview)
We're in the process of moving. The new place is only about a mile away, but has about twice as much room as the old place, which will provide us all some much-needed personal space.
My AH has been drinking like it's his last day on the earth for the past week or so. All the work he said he would do last week f...
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stephaniej
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3
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267
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New to this and need some one to talk to
(Preview)
Hello, I am new to this type of group and just need someone that is dealing with the same things I am. I have a husband that is a drunk and I am having a hard time with it. He only drinks on weekends but is drunk from Friday until he goes to work on Monday. His drinking has gotten worse over the years and I just ca...
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phur
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12
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495
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"That's the way God planned it, that's the way God wants it to be..."
(Preview)
Some of the older folks may remember this song that Billy Preston put out in the 70's. I've been humming it a lot the last couple of weeks. A few weeks ago, there was a horrible accident in our area where a school bus collided with a dump truck, killing an 11 year old girl and critically injuring 3 other chil...
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usedtobeanyer
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7
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512
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Adult Children of A's being Angry at the Non Drinker
(Preview)
I hear it again and again. Now, my adult children in their 30's are even "angrier" towards me it seems, even though I have Always been open with them about their Dads addictions (etol and drugs), had them in alakid. One adult son texted me about his 3 yr old saying I called her an inappropriat...
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Grace7
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5
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467
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Wanting more from the Alcholic
(Preview)
Hello All, This is my second post in this forum. My ex-boyfriend of 2 and a half years is an alcoholic. We lived together for about year and broke up last October. It has been a tumultuos turning of events and I sought the help of Al anon and will be in the program for 5 months in March. I got a sponsor and I am wo...
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serenity84
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8
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4756
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Feeling alone..need reassurance
(Preview)
kids have been with their Dad since weds..I have a terrible cold...and then spent 1 1/2 hours this morning shoveling 8 inches of heavy snow..by myself...but I think my fever broke while I was out shoveling... though the snow was pretty, I was focused on this stuff in my head...why does no one ask ME if I n...
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rehprof
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9
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435
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can't always think of something to say, but I TALK anyway!
(Preview)
I seem to struggle w/ words these days but on here I can backspace & sometimes start all over again; what a priviledge to be on this wonderful site where I am accepted & loved! I feel like a blabber mouth but then my Ah reminds me that he too talks way too much & I lose what he says half the time. So...
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Hoot Nanny
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0
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292
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Thanks!
(Preview)
To those of you who were in the MIP chat room last night (you know who you are ), Thanks! As is usually the case, when we are hearing what we don't want to hear (but we already know), I got mad last night and left. But after sleeping on it, I know it's time for some "tough love" with my alcoholic. Bec...
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Overcome
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2
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360
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12th Step ~ sponsoring, etc
(Preview)
I'm new here - my sponsor just told me about this site. I just spent HOURS reading the many posts and I really wish I had known about this a couple years ago. my son (20yrs old) went to rehab last summer, had one brief relapse and is currently doing ok. Prior to last summer we went through hell. I'm su...
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connorsmommy
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2
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336
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I wish I had blinders on sometimes...
(Preview)
Hi family and friends, Sometimes, I wish I didn't see and hear some of the things I do. I wish I could ignore some of the insanity that alcoholISM brings to the table of life. But at the same time I'm glad I get to see it, and not be it. John
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John
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7
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325
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"This to shall past"
(Preview)
Some days are worst than others, I felt a little heavy hearted this morning when I got up. I stay in the grieving mode often because of my kids lifestyle and all the negative that goes with that. Not working, always broke. I let her clean for me weekly to help her out, she come over with 2 or 3 loads of clothes...
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Highlyfavored
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2
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379
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