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Post Info TOPIC: al anon changed me


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1036
Date:
al anon changed me


Recently I started "seeing" a man who has 10 years of sobriety.  Normally I am such a sucker for lonely needy men.  Lately I have been asserting my boundaries a lot. 

My sponsor instructed me pretty firmly if they cross your boundaries get out of there. 

Needless to say this guy in his "need" crossed a few boundaries.  I gave him a chance, asserted them, then he crossed them again. For now after a few years of al anon if someone does that I don't put their needs ahead of mine.

I went to therapy for years, I tried to do it myself for years, nothing but nothing got me to give up on 'needy' men.  Now I can.

Thank you al anon and my sponsor too of course!

Maresie.

 



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orchid lover


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 689
Date:

Your post gives me hope!



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
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biggringreat for you little lady!!! this was so neat to read. You are so so much using your strength.

hugs hugs,debilyn give the fur faces kisses for me! still so proud of you for making sure you go them!!



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
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Dear  Maresie

Good Work!!! You are worth it.  I know that it took hard work and some pain to rach that place.

When I really began to work this program I discovered that I had been abandoning myself and my needs forever.  I thought if I took care of others they would like me and take care of me. no It did not work that way  Today like you--- I take care of myself and refuse to abandon my need to please another.

Thanks for you uplifting share.



-- Edited by hotrod on Friday 2nd of March 2012 01:03:13 PM

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1036
Date:

I do know I absolutely despaired of being hooked by alcoholics (active and otherwise).

I think Getting them Sober (the book) helped me tremendously

I also think having a sponsor helped a great deal.  I resisted having one for years.

Maresie.



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orchid lover


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1036
Date:

Boundaries are very very mportant to me.  Beinb boundaryless for most of my life was really so difficult.   Being boundaryless I was like a magnet for alcoholics who really need so many people to keep them going.  Without people they can't keep it up in the same way then there is the possibility they might get sober.

Maresie.



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orchid lover
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