The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Recently I started "seeing" a man who has 10 years of sobriety. Normally I am such a sucker for lonely needy men. Lately I have been asserting my boundaries a lot.
My sponsor instructed me pretty firmly if they cross your boundaries get out of there.
Needless to say this guy in his "need" crossed a few boundaries. I gave him a chance, asserted them, then he crossed them again. For now after a few years of al anon if someone does that I don't put their needs ahead of mine.
I went to therapy for years, I tried to do it myself for years, nothing but nothing got me to give up on 'needy' men. Now I can.
Good Work!!! You are worth it. I know that it took hard work and some pain to rach that place.
When I really began to work this program I discovered that I had been abandoning myself and my needs forever. I thought if I took care of others they would like me and take care of me. It did not work that way Today like you--- I take care of myself and refuse to abandon my need to please another.
Thanks for you uplifting share.
-- Edited by hotrod on Friday 2nd of March 2012 01:03:13 PM
Boundaries are very very mportant to me. Beinb boundaryless for most of my life was really so difficult. Being boundaryless I was like a magnet for alcoholics who really need so many people to keep them going. Without people they can't keep it up in the same way then there is the possibility they might get sober.