The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It was too long to retype. I'm here to learn. I'm in a new relationship with a recovering alcoholic and he is working on his program but due to PTSD (vet) and some medication issues did relapse recently.
I'm not new to addictions. I have worked for several years on food addiction (doing very well) but more importantly (and I believe is part of this process) I've become very good at strong, firm and loving boundaries. I've had to do this due to an abusive ex - and we can now be civil to each other because I've done so well with this.
I believe God puts us in each other's lives for a reason. Sometimes it's to learn "hey, this relationship won't work" or "I need to learn something from this person" or as simple as "I will be working with this person".
This time, my friend (we're more than that but he knows I'm keeping a watchful eye on our relationship for obvious reasons) and I, we just seem to be put here for each other.
I've been told by a couple of his counselors that "I handle him so well, am I sure I've not done this professionally?" That made me laugh, guess I should thank my ex for giving me such good boundary skills!
I'm here to learn. I'll ask questions, observe and absorb. I'm able to make his work belong to him, I use questions to get him to do his own work and stop asking me (he is so funny, when I do it he usually goes "oh I'm doing it again"). We are good together, really good together. He relapse I was there, I called him on it immediately, and just kept repeating "you can either tell me your destination to a safe place or I'll take you to detox right now". He went to a vet counselor nearby who helped detox him and set him up for inpatient (he wanted to go on his own).
In advance I thank you for what I'm sure is going to be a large volume of things I can learn from here. I believe firmly in the 12 steps and will support him in any way I can that doesn't involve enabling.
Welcome and agreed sounds like you have a wonderful start already!!!
Hugs p :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thank you all! We shall see - trying to focus on "today" since that's usually the best way to go! If there is anything I've learned in life, it's that we never stop learning!
You guys all seem like a great group - I've done a lot of reading today.
So glad you're here Christine! You have found a safe place here and in the alanon rooms. For me, it was hard to let my guard dowm at first but now the freedom I feel is like nothing I can ever explain. You already have so much awareness which is so huge!Keep coming back-it works! much love and support to you! Daisy
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It is very difficult to have a pity party when I am celebrating all the gratitude I have in my life!
It will aither work out, . . . or, . . . It will work out."
