Anxiety Attacks, Whining Titty Baby! - Al-Anon Family Group

John · ~*Service Worker*~

Anxiety Attacks, Whining Titty Baby!

rehprof · ~*Service Worker*~

YOU ARE NOT A "titty baby"

Anxiety attacks are real...and they are a sign....

There is a paradox about anxiety...the more you say "I can't feel this!" or "Oh my GOD I can't do this!" when one comes on, the WORSE the anxiety attack will get.

Let go of the shame...and when you feel one coming on, let others know, and give yourself permission to "throw one"

I used to get them in traffic. I learned to pull over and say to myself "Okay you big ol' anxiety attack..bring it! bring all you got! let's have a canniption!!!!!"

what's so funny is that as soon as you give yourself permission to flip out, it immediately subsides....

No shame!!!

As you have more of them ...you will learn what works for you...

This too shall pass aww

-- Edited by rehprof on Tuesday 28th of February 2012 02:28:15 PM

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi John

I am so sorry Your experience sounds so very frightening. Glad that you are feeling a little better and have found an alternate solution.

Please keep taking care of yourself You are a powerful means of recovery for many and I know that the burden can be heavy at times.

Glad you came here and shared with your family

In my prayers

ilovedogs · ~*Service Worker*~

John, my sister just went through something similar due to anxiety and stress. She went back to the hospital twice, too. I totally understand how real these symptoms are to you, even though you know the cause. And, yes it really sucks. Her stress is due to her cheating husband, financial troubles, his addictive behavior, the death of our dad, and having a newborn. She couldn't even swallow whole food and has been on a liquid diet for the past month since her throat keeps closing on her and her esophagus is spasming. And, yes, it's all due to anxiety and stress.
Remember, this is all temporary! In time, it will pass. You will get through this. Sending you cyber support today!

John · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you Hotrod and ilovedogs, it is pretty scary for me. I hate to admit it but I'm scared, not sure what the problem really is, or what the solution really is, as this is a completely new arena for me. I am sure I'll get through it, but at what cost I don't know. As I shared with someone else, its not just the medications I'm concerned with, but the things in my daily life that might have to undergo change as well, and I am not good with change, I resist it... even though my experience has shown me that after the fact, I'm always glad I went through it and got the relief from taking those steps that bring about some relief.

I guess I just want a magic wand smacked upside my head and to suddenly be knocked well. And not have to do anything to contribute to it. But in reality, I know I am a contributor to the stressors in my life, and a contributor to the solution for them.

All I know to do right now is to keep trusting the process and remember that I'm not a good source for what that process should be right now. Let someone else help make those decisions.

John

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree John I recognize that want: The Magic Wand that fixes it all" aww

Change is difficult but with the support of HP , your Family and Friends it is manageable Trust the process and be gentle with yourself.

By the way You are not a"Whiny Baby" You are a very strong person who is human and needs to stop and take care of himself

In my thoughts

Temple · ~*Service Worker*~

Bkess your heart, Dear John.

Take care of you--however that looks.

I loved reading about your ancestors the other day. I could tell by your voice on the audio recording that there was so much about you that is so neat. Some of it is
genetics, apparently.

I hope you have a sponsor or some oldtimers who are sober who can rally round you.

You know you are so very loved by the people on this board.

The woman I talked to at Al-Anon the first time I called said, "It's not your fault and it will get better." I hung onto that for a weekend. If you need another slogan to
help you, you can use mine.

You know about breathing into a paper bag if you start hyperventilating again, I am sure.

Love,
Temple

Jennifer · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi John,

I'm sorry you are experiencing anxiety attacks. I've been there too. The very last thing I wanted to find help in was a narcotic while and after witnessing my exAH's addictions for so many years. There are unique options for everyone but kind of like our programs it takes trial, error, practice and taking the next right step to find it. Keep taking care of you.

Jen

likemyheart · ~*Service Worker*~

Boy howdy do I relate to you not wanting to take pills the rest of your life. I don't know much about pills except some are habit forming and I would fight even taking one of those. John in the past year of getting my life back I have resorted to coaxing/forcing my surly teenager to sit on the couch with me and watch the stupidest thing in the world - Beavis and Butthead! "Do I HAVE to stay out here anymore???" she growled more than once. But the laughter at how dern dumb those cartoon guys are weakened the wall between us and we are now sitting together almost every evening watching Supernatural (I have to find something else to fill the void when we get through all the seasons!). We are laughing together again, looking stuff up on the internet together, again, talking and conversating again, all because I forced her to watch something that I knew would at least make her laugh despite her anger at me.

I tell you this because I believe that finding something to relieve the pain/stress can be as simple as watching Beavis and Butthead. Taking some little bit of time just for you, hey, that's what we learn here, right? I am sure there are lots of alternatives to drugs, good luck in finding what works for you!

Lucky to have never had a panic attack, am I.

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

We get so many chances in life to learn new skills, don't we? Sometimes I wish there weren't so many chances...

It sounds as if there is just too much going on and your system is going on strike. "Workload is too great! Need to hire on some extra hands! The engines canna take it any more!"

My wise therapist told me that when the going gets extra tough and it gets hard to stay in balance, that means extra support is needed. The anxiety drugs are the kind of support they can prescribe at the ER, but long term, it sounds like real-life support is in order. That could be a counselor, some help with practical things (hiring someone to fix the X and the Y at home because you have just too much on your plate right now), more meetings, a sponsor who can talk you down if another attack starts, some meditation training... or all of the above. Or all of the above times two.

I read an interesting book aimed at foreign students coming to America. (It's called Culture Shock: America). It told them that Americans have a culture where the "secret rule" is "You must never ask for help, because you'll have to pay it back, and you might not be able to." That lifted the veil from my eyes about our I-can-do-it-alone culture. In some culture, the book said, if you have to go to the doctor and can't take your child, you ask your friend, "Could you take off work today and watch my child?" The book tells readers that this is unthinkable in America, so don't do it. And the book is right -- it's been unthinkable. But I think we have to turn that around. Not asking people to not go to work when they might lose their jobs, but just going for help all round. Because we're all in this together. And I rarely see anyone getting too much support. (I don't mean enabling. I mean real support.) Anyway, support is essential. Take care of yourself.

likemyheart · ~*Service Worker*~

I'll add two cents to Matties post - paying help forward really helps ME ask for help when I really have to - because I feel I have help "banked", it relieves the reluctance to ask when I am in need.

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

John set down the stick and open your arms up for all the love I hear being poured out on you here! We are human and can only handle so much stress until the body lets us know we need a little help. I know you work a great program and will figure out how to get through this. I am sending you love and support!!!

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear John, first grabbing you, dragging you to my daughter who is a massage therapist to give you a massage!

Let me say this. It does not matter why. Just what you shared is huge anyway.

What matters in my experience is how can we help you feel better.

First I want to apologise. I have not made a donation due to the mess of getting squatters out of my house who have not paid rent in 3 mo. I am going to go get a food box for petes sake!.

Anyway for me, I wake up and think ok ONE day I can face it all this day. I do what I have to then I nap or read or watch a movie. Even though you have to work, and you do your service, we must take time for us or we run out of our strength. This is where you are John.

You have used up all your reserves. We have to face we are older now and we have to make sure we don't over due. No one tells us ok you are old now so take a break every 30 min etc. We push ourselves as we always have and BOOM, we are past empty. Its hard to face when you have been a hard worker, and I think it is harder for men.

Your body is telling you, "HEY YOU IDIOT" we are on overload here, you are not putting back in what you are using and there is not surplus either!I worked two days in a row dragging 16 foot by 4 foot heavy cattle panels. I had done it many times. But i was older. I tore up my left tendon so badly I am disabled. nothing can be done.

I didn't rest, I didn't drink water or take a break.

Be nice to yourself. Its not a fault. Anxiety attacks are very real physical things.

The world is too big for you right now. We need to do the one day at a time, the let go and let God. Those things, Keep it simple are vital to survival.

You john cannot give and give when you are exausted. Your body is in survival mode and will do this to show it has had enough,fill me back up.

Anti stressors are so important. What are you doing for fun? Are you sharing time with others laughing? Are you going to your AA meetings? I am sure there are many things there that will make you feel so much better.

Just becuz you have had a strong recovery for many years, does not mean you have to be superman honey!!! You can just be John, introspective, caring, has accidents, was going to say klumzy but not sure if you are ready to be teased. I have seen you and your dogs. YOu are amazingly compassionate. sharing your girlfriends story was so sweet.

Its ok to stop and take a breath, center yourself. Be where you are. John if you can trade for, if you cannot pay for massages I am telling you it would help you soooo much. I don't know where you ard girlfriend are but there are books that can teach you guys how to do massage.

There are places to go to go into a sauna, hot tubs, even the pool in your city will help.

I don't know where you live, but for me, day trips are great. pack up some food and warm cloths head away from the noise.

Am so glad you shared. Shows you are working your recovery. I hope you are sharing with AA too. That shows strength not weakness and your guys you help will get so much out of you being humble enough to share that part of you.

John caffeine, nicotine, sugar all those and more will make your anxiety worse.

I invite you to look up anti anxiety foods. Are you taking vitamins and suppliments? Drinking lots of good water? Sleeping well?

The world is what it is you know? So we have to counteract all that stress with very basic things.

There are herbs for anxiety that work John. My AH when he was in recovery would not take an aspirin. Chamomile tea, is very good. search anti anxiety herbs.

I agree with you narcotics are not for A's. Better to do herbs first and keep your diet healthy> If you eat meat you need more protein. No junk food or fast food.

This stuff works I promise you.

Anyway yes many of us care about you very, very much. I know you are a real friend becuz we have gotten thru some tough stuff bumping heads.

If you need to pm I am here to listen too! love,Debilyn

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

JOHN!!...am there and doing that myself. Its all real so I'm not trying to convince myself this is just a tantrum. We are not alone...these are the times for stuff like this which just sends me reeling around my HP cause I've learned like you that is not the only Rx just the best. Having Angina attacks makes me slow down and relax for the moment until it passes and like you I don't have (yet) a better program for my head and nerves so they both stop from wigging out. Haven't slept well for months and am about to go get a script for ambien so I can sleep all this crud off. My mind is running itself and my nervous system is shot full of holes. Its all real...The banks attempt at our house after getting our income (real) 2 hit and runs on my wife's car (5k+) the police assault and continuing harrassment; the additional physical work at 1/3 the cost;

soooo mine isn't more crabable than yours we're in the same both with others only different locations. Someone look over the side and see if they can get the name of the boat. There are no iceburgs around the big island so Titanic won't increase the pressure. LOL

Trust God, Clean house, Help others. ((((hugs)))) smile

Oksie · Senior Member

Firstly, thanks for sharing.
Your post title and some of this feedback got me to thinking...

I wonder if your own explanation of self, offers some insight....

Whining titty baby....... maybe so..... have you sat down and chatted with this whining titty baby that is inside? What does 'young john' have to say... he is trying so hard to make you listen to him... so hard he is hyperventilating in there

You FOO never listened to him I am guessing. For a long time you have been in recovery for your addictions and that has been your focus. Teenage and adult John have had a say... guess whos turn it is now.

My guess is that young john, who is making himself known to you in your mind as whining titty baby at this point in time, needs some nourishment and love. Sit down and talk to your child that is you.

Just my 2c worth.

John · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you everyone for your support, understanding and demonstration of love as I deal with this stuff. While it is not a condition that I would wish on my worse enemy, I am glad to know I'm not the only one who has struggled with it.

As for young Johnny... if this is how he is going to get my attention, well, I'm not going to let him have any chocolate til he stops! LOL He is spoiled rotten already! smile

Everyone of you shared with me exactly what I needed to hear, and give thought and action to. Thank you so much!

John

All I can be · Senior Member

John.

Thank you for sharing.

A good way to let go is to

Delegate

This can be accomplished while eating a box of chocolates.

Hope you feel better soon

Bill

Oksie · Senior Member

WHAT!!!!!!!!!! No Chocolate!!!!!!! waaaahhhhhhh..... hahahahahahaha.

I think a really nice cuddle might suffice at this stage....

good luck John

mjhyankees · Senior Member

I hear you......I've had those kind of attacks and still do but much less. sometime just knowing I had a pill in the bottle on the nighttable was enough to pull me through. Good news, is they can be treated and rid of for the most part.

Doozy · Senior Member

Hi John,

I just had to write back to you on this one. I have struggled with severe anxiety attacks after a bad car accident years ago. There is good news here - it really can get much better and you've got the right kind of attitude to get through this and find yet another new level of serenity. I'm just going to throw some ESH out there for consideration. Please take what you like and leave the rest :) You've helped all of us so much, it would be nice to give back to you.

I would use HUGE caution with whatever medications they prescribe, especially given your history. I have had a prescription for several different kinds of anti-anxiety meds and I know that some of them have a very large risk of abuse and addiction. Those can be very very dangerous things for someone in recovery.

I hope that you can follow up with your regular doctor, a psychiatrist and/or counselor to come up with a game plan that's more comprehensive and help you avoid those kinds of medications. I'm not saying there's no place for anti-anxiety meds, just that they can be very very risky.

Also, there are lots of other ways to begin treating the anxiety!

I have found counseling to be extremely helpful. Alanon has been extremely helpful - giving everything up to my higher power definitely lowers my anxiety. I don't have to worry about things that aren't my responsibility!

I've even been through hypnosis for my anxiety and that was actually pretty darn helpful too.

I also do yoga, meditation, and I go for a massage every two weeks. Deep breathing exercises help too.

Perhaps one of the best changes I've made has to do with acceptance and compassion for myself. I used to be so incredibly harsh with myself. I feel like I might hear that in the way you talk about yourself, kind of judging yourself for this experience you had instead of having compassion for what was truly a terrible experience. An anxiety attack is so hard for people to understand who haven't been there. It really does feel at the time just as terrifying as anything that might just take your life. It's a horrible thing to go through and I hope that you can be gentle with yourself and compassionate for yourself.

I have found that by accepting myself and being compassionate, even through tough experiences and feelings, that not fighting it and judging it actually helps me move through and process the feelings. Having anxiety about anxiety is sooo counterproductive. Accepting the anxiety without judgement and taking its message helps to make that anxiety fade. Also when I address my feelings early on, versus ignoring them and hoping they go away, that also really helps. If I'm sad, I need to feel it and let it out. Holding in emotions contributes to building anxiety.

Part of my anxiety was simply PTSD. I used to look at it as a personal defect, a weakness. I've really had to think a lot about it and learn about it to understand that it's a biological response to trauma and even the toughest men in the world can and do get PTSD.

Part of my anxiety was also my body's way of telling me I needed to make changes in my life. I had to stop and take stock of how I was living and what or who was really good for me. I have different people in my life now and that's made a huge difference in bringing my anxiety level down.

So, I'm wishing you all the best and hoping that you are feeling better. Take good care of yourself!

Doozy

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