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another day?
(Preview)
I waited for him to come but then i went to go lie down I feel asleep. I heard the door around 12:30. I just stayed in bed I was so mentally exhausted. He is still asleep & I'm even wodering if i should even mention anything or just let it go. It was a crazy night. I hadn't been through one like that in a long t...
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texasgal
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9
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570
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Question?
(Preview)
What is a good comeback or how do you all handle it when your A is just joking or kidding? I am so tied of taking offense to all his "just joking and I can never take a joke! It is never funny to me! But I would like to just know how everyone handles this, Please!
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sisdragonfly1957
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6
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466
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just some stuff
(Preview)
I bought myself my first car yesterday, no big shake to some I suspect but to me it's monumentuss, I feel I have comitted to something at last and that I am starting to accept and appreciate life as it is and not how I would have it be, it's been a long process of ye but's,and it has been very very hard to get to t...
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Katy
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4
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396
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Excuses
(Preview)
I came across this surfing the net basically. At one time or other I definitely used all of these excuses as did my ex-A. I like they way the author explained all this without getting too heady into psychological jargon. **Common stereotyped addictive defenses include but are by no means limited t...
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pinkchip
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6
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480
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im so messed up
(Preview)
I checked my husbands FB account & that woman put honey this honey that all over his FB. I called him & yelled and argued. He said he hadn't checked it he didn't know what i was talking about & so i yelled more. I got infuriated and posted a nasty message about how a crazy stalker is checking out...
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texasgal
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15
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607
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AH thinks I'm having an affair?
(Preview)
My AH seems to think that since he hasn't been getting any lately, that I must be having an affair. He doesn't know what is wrong in our marriage and can't seem to understand why things are bad? All I have to say is: WHAT THE HECK??? Seriously, he has no idea? What planet is he living on? If he's concerne...
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ilovedogs
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7
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717
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Did I screw up?
(Preview)
My sister who is an alcoholic is in a rehab facility. Her daughter has been placed with me by child protective services. Her daughter really misses her and vice versa and I want my sister to be successful so she will have a chance to have her daughter back.
So my sister is in the program which is a six mont...
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noclevername
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6
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491
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Wet brain
(Preview)
Does anyone have any information on wet brain? My ah is showing some weird symptoms. Not sure if it is something he is taking or the beginning of the end. Last week at a swim meet u had to take him home because he was so out of it and he slept for 3 days. He was hospitalized a few months ago but they did not mentio...
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imom
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10
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3609
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My HP has a sense of humor...again.
(Preview)
Hi everyone! My friends in my pocket... :). I think of you daily.
Thought Id share my HP funny of the day. I went to the health store in search of something to help me sleep. It continues to be a struggle. Tne lady that helped me is so kind and easy to talk to. And, I shared why I think Im having such physical p...
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CDK
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4
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348
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I feel like my husband hates me...
(Preview)
I don't know... *sigh*.... My AH is in rehab and I have been detaching from him. It's good for both of us. I need to get better too, ya know. And I'm starting to feel better about myself and more confident in myself... But because I am not dong everything he wants me to do and dropping my life to "suppor...
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Amandakay
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9
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743
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bored but my fault!
(Preview)
I am bored but it is all my fault! My husband used to say that we don't live next to Disneyland so I should be happy right where I am I guess. I can only do what I can where I am coming from. I am going 60 miles tomorrow for some entertainment & R&R. If you all are wondering why I go 60 miles for entertainm...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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272
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There will be no business meeting (that I know of) in July
(Preview)
I was told not to go ahead with the business meetings until I heard further from John. Now, my posts about the June Business Meeting are no longer found on the boards. Okay, I get it . . . Thanks to those of you who participated in the June meeting.
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Fina
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0
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6233
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detaching from fear!
(Preview)
hey all, I just wanted to say how grateful I am for this place. I woke up scared, feeling like i had made some wrong decisions about some travel plans and now everything was ruined, I was going to have a horrible time where I was going, etc. I came here and have been reading peoples posts and have been happy...
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jorjorjor
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4
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400
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grateful
(Preview)
I went to my husbands bday night it went great. He asked me to speak a couple of minutes before he got his chip. I was honored & overwhelmed all at the same time. We fellowshiped & went out to dinner. We had a wonderful evening. And when I got home that woman on his FB had unliked almost all his status...
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texasgal
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5
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329
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Hi. Just me.
(Preview)
Hi. hello. Everything is fine. Just real busy. Working full time and I started a small business... Love you all.
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Wolfie55
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5
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262
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to go or not to go?!?
(Preview)
My husband will be speaking tonight at birthday night. He will be celebrating 7 yrs of sobriety. I hadn't gone these last 2 yrs. The first year we had separated two days before bday night the second cuz we had just gotten back together & I didn't feel right going. But this year he asked me to go & I d...
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texasgal
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6
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449
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Finding a sponsor
(Preview)
I hear all these wonderful stories about sponsors and I would very much like to find one. My "home" meeting really doesn't have anyone that would be available to do so. I'm having a hard time feeling comfortable enough to reach out to someone I don't even know. I need to find another meeti...
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amills4294
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4
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296
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He came home
(Preview)
Not sure what to do now? He is here and being sweet, totally a drama king though. He won't eat, is super ancy. Lays down, gets up, lays down, goes and sits on the patio. He is drinking some wine mixed with water. He said that he is trying to taper. I talked to him about moving to sober living. He is receptive. I...
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katfshh
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4
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412
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get out of myself & live!
(Preview)
One thing I have been trying to do that worked real well in the past is that I can get out of myself & do something for others. I have been waiting for awhile for answers but I never really got around to listening. I am so glad that my eyes & ears are opening again to new possibilities. I want to find so...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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394
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I'm so hurt, sick, and betrayed.
(Preview)
I was doing so well. But, I noticed on our phone bill for the last week he calls a number over and over. I checked his voicemail and there was a message from some woman. She was calling him sweetie and telling him she has her kids the next few days but would love to see him. I am just heartbroken. I know he's no...
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katfshh
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19
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789
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Healing the body...
(Preview)
Hi all. Had a great F2F mtg tonight. Makes me feel so much better. I am struggling with an issue, and my mtg reminded me of how much ESH is out there. So, after 4.5 yrs of having to deal with my relationship...while it obviously affected my mental, emotional, spiritual health...it appears to have left so...
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CDK
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5
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366
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What are we really showing our children?
(Preview)
Those of you who "know me", know that I am very wary of any insinuation of "strong = leave, and weak = stay" posts, or advice for people on the big stay vs. leave decision.... That being said, I offer up the following bit of E,S&H as a healthy reminder to look at things from all si...
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canadianguy
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13
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2371
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My issue with inaction
(Preview)
I just realized something about myself. I have a huge problem with inaction! Specifically regarding exercise. I am very rigid on my exercise - if I don't do it in the morning then I will just not do it all day. I will also come up with excuses as to why I don't have enough time in the morning to exercise (...
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willowtree
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4
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562
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Always Feel Like I'm Imposing
(Preview)
I was talking with my sponser today and mentioned the reason I don't like texting/calling people first is I always feel like I'm imposing on them. She told me it is just one part of my sickness that Al-Anon can help me with. I never thought of it as part of my "sickness" but I can see what she mea...
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Elizabeth10
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9
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4199
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No kids with him
(Preview)
Dear community,
I just came home from an Al-Anon meeting and found some marks above the burglary alarm box. It looks like it has burned a bit or so. I don't know how these boxes work, but tried to call my ABF, who had studied electrical engineering. I was irritated and scared at first, and when he did not...
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Smukke
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9
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563
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Power
(Preview)
As an ACOA, I grew up with a very distorted view of personal power. Obviously, I was not allowed to own my own power. I grew up believing I had no power, and what little I did have, I was supposed to give away so that people would love me. That's a messed-up way to think and a messed-up way to live. Even after...
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1911A1
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7
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460
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I did it!!! Now I have questions..
(Preview)
Last night I attended my first F2F Al Anon meeting. It started at 7:00- AH was supposed to be off work at 4:00, so my plan was to leave the kids with him at home and go. Well, needless to say he didn't come home after work. I found myself getting super angry and the voice in my head telling me that meant I cou...
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holivex
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8
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568
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Setting Boundaries When They Won't Admit
(Preview)
I read a lot of posts here about setting boundaries when our A's are drunk. My problem is my A drinks in secret and NEVER admits to drinking. Of course I know when he has been drinking by his behavior but it is difficult for me to set boundaries about his drinking because he denies it. And dare I say to him tha...
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surfgirl123
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6
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1098
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Question, Do the kids ever appreciate it?
(Preview)
Occasionally, I hear that "when the kids grow up" they will appreciate that you left/divorced the alcoholic, abusive spouse. Is this really true? Its a lot of work, to make a better life for our families, following the Al-Anon steps, lots of stress involved to make serious life changes su...
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oldergal
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13
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592
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So mad. Trying to be strong.
(Preview)
I had surgery yesterday for hand cancer and I need my husband's help with the kids more than ever. My right hand/arm is off limits for the next 2 weeks. Well, he decided to go get a 20 pack of beer today and drink it all. He knows my boundary is that he is to stay in his office when he drinks and so I feel like he is...
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leeranger
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12
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505
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My New Truths
(Preview)
In working on my recovery, I realize my mindset is my worst enemy, self pity can really take its toll. Here is my new reality: My life is the collective of MY choices, good and bad. I am not a victim. I make a choice every day to stay with my AH, I too can make a choice tomorrow to leave for any reason or no reaso...
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surfgirl123
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8
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466
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Non-Alcoholic Dating Someone in AA, any advice?
(Preview)
Hello Everyone. I am writing in this forum because I started dating a guy a few months ago and things were going really well then he started to pull away. I questioned him on this and he ultimately came clean with the fact that he is currently in AA and working on his 12 steps and has been discouraged by his s...
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soitgoes13
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15
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8735
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New Here, Believe I am Enabling an Addict, and Need Help!
(Preview)
New here, and some basic facts about me: I come from a family of substance users. My parents, aunts, and uncles all use (or used) drugs and/or alcohol, and with the exception of two family members have kept their use predominantly recreational. My parents could, I suppose, be described as "f...
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AliceD
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5
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518
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he is sober, so why I am I still feeling so crummy?
(Preview)
So...my husband has been sober for over 6 months this time. I still feel crummy and overwhelmed! He is going to meetings every night. I am going to meetings when I can. Once a week for sure. Twice if I can get him to watch the kids. I can not take our 3 kids to the meetings with me (that is a whole different...
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supermom
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10
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633
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Memory Loss??? Will it come back???
(Preview)
Always looking for good books to read, I jumped on the one posted a little bit ago about verbally abusive relationships. As I am reading, I am trying to remember all of the arguments or crazymaking that occurred with my AH. I cannot seem to remember all the details, or how it started, or what the end resu...
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dragonflys
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11
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652
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Setting boundaries..
(Preview)
I posted for the first time a few weeks ago. My husband was dry for about 8 years and goes on benders, his last one being a few weeks ago where he drank 3 bottles of vodka in 3 days. At that point, he was very remorseful and said he would start going to AA. Of course that didn't happen and he hasn't had anything t...
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leeranger
|
5
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864
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Worried I won't make a connection like that again
(Preview)
So, what has caused me the most fear in breaking up with my ex in recovery is what I have been most afraid to share. Here goes...
When I look back on our relationship there are few times that were really amazing. There just aren't that many good times to remember, except for sex. In all prior relationship...
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Chaya
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8
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380
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Am I in the right place?
(Preview)
I have a 38 y/o son and daughter-in-law who are drug addicts. My son is also an alcoholic sober for over 10 years. They have lost custody of their children. Am I in the right place for help or do I need to be with another narcotic family support group?
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StinkySol
|
7
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501
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Driving my AH places
(Preview)
Last Christmas I bought Pink Floyd tickets for my son and my AH (and myself so I could be chauffer). My AH is in rehab now and is beginning to earn privileges. He has talked them into allowing him to go to the concert with my son and I but I don't want to take him. Heck! I don't even want to go. I have been able t...
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Amandakay
|
10
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805
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upset & dont know how to handle it
(Preview)
I hadn't checked my Facebook account in awhile & this morning I checked it & on my husbands page I find that the woman he dated when we were separated was his friend & every single post or pic he had she liked or she made a comment. I was mortified. He did not comment back to any of her comments. I...
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texasgal
|
12
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589
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Seeing the anger that I used to feel...
(Preview)
Al Anon has helped me so much with anger. I used to constantly feel angry at everyone, because they weren't doing what I expected them to do. I feel proud of the fact that I've been able to institute a "live and let live" policy for most facets of my life. I'm not at 100%, but this has probably bee...
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usedtobeanyer
|
7
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680
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I love Al Anon!
(Preview)
Went to a meeting tonight and I just feel so much better. I am so grateful to have finally found MIP and meetings in the community. I feel like this is what I've been needing my whole life. I really want to start doing the steps. I have been hesitant to ask someone to be my sponsor, but I think I will be moved to...
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Chaya
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7
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404
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Rereading a very enlightening book
(Preview)
It is The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I had obviously read it some time ago, because those were my squiggles and underlines and marginal comments. I guess I was ready to really hear what she is saying, this time around. It has helped me enormously to detach. She's got DDH down p...
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Temple
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14
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836
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AW just home from recovery and is full of anger
(Preview)
My AW left a 28 day recovery program 3 weeks ago. She has criticized the recovery facility emphatically and feels that I am partly to blame for her choosing the place. She has taken a drink at least once for sure and possibly 2 times. She had a sponsor while in the facility but has not gotten a sponsor sin...
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gyzer02
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6
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659
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Q @ friend
(Preview)
I just started here today and already feel so welcome and understood. I was talking to a friend (not a close one) who mentioned her H was an alcoholic out of the blue. I said mine was too, we chatted @ our respective issues. She said she's been to alanon meetings and will go w me if I wanted to go. Im not sure ho...
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pjm15
|
7
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469
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Big day tomorrow
(Preview)
Hello everybody.... Thanks again for the warm welcome! Have a BIG day coming up tomorrow... my BF is coming to town tomorrow to see his kids, and wants to see me as well after his visit. He still has belongings at my place, and wants to pick up some more items. This will the the first I've seen him since 6/...
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Bug
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4
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475
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feelin' grateful!
(Preview)
I just want to say that I am feeling grateful today. I am so glad that I can feel this way after a couple of hard emotional days. I missed my dad a lot last night. But, I cried & felt & got over it. Lately, I have been having strange dreams. I don't need them analyzed but I just wonder if maybe I am going t...
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Hoot Nanny
|
1
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218
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I'm not sure what it is.
(Preview)
About a year ago I started my own business. Its really exciting and I love it. I was doing it at night and on the weekends because I had a full time day job. I made the decision to quit my day job so I could focus entirely on my business. What ended up happening though is I was laid off two weeks ago. I feel really...
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StargazerLily
|
5
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483
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|
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Why do I still find this difficult?
(Preview)
I'm always so glad when I set boundaries. It has been the one thing that has built my confidence, improved my life and allowed me to regain my happiness. So when I'm presented with the opportunity, why must I drag my feet and hear those complacent little voices in my head going "oh what's the harm,...
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AStrongerMe
|
5
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583
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walking on eggshells
(Preview)
I am finding lately that anything I say that has my own opinion in it is cause for my AH to start an argument. If my comments or conversation topics are not totally neutral or something that makes him look or feel good about himself, I cannot say it because he immediately gets defensive and starts an argu...
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imom
|
8
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646
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on my pink cloud
(Preview)
yes he showed me a gr8t weekend spent lots of money on me,drank just a little,he spoiled me all weekend long,showered mewith lots opf attentin,love and affection,and has asked my hand in marriege and he wants us to have a wedding,i told him lets take it slowwwww and wait 6 mths,to see how thinkgs r still...
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silent
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5
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2202
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Ugh! AH in rehab but came home to "pick up a few things" while I was at work..
(Preview)
I'm so frustrated... I don't know what to do. Ugh! My AH is in rehab and has gained some privileges. One of which is looking for a job... Yesterday he wanted to come home for a few hours but I told him I was not comfortable with that yet. I don't want to argue with him but that I'm just not comfortable with him...
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Amandakay
|
3
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398
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Ugly, ugly scene tonight. When will I get over being so angry?
(Preview)
I just posted here for the first time last night, after coming home from spending the day with my family at the lake to find my AH (who was running a fever and coughing terribly when we left that morning) drunk. I got very angry, but mostly contained it. I can't handle the drinking, but it's not the alcoh...
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holivex
|
8
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599
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|
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manipulation
(Preview)
I have been seperated from ABf he has slipped off his programme and is getting sicker by the day. I on the other hand have been working hard at my programme I have really conected with my HP and I am enjoying myself. He contacted me yesterday when I explained I had nothing else to give he started beening na...
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Tracy
|
4
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580
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update on dying son
(Preview)
hi, refresher on my 36yr. old son who is actively drinking. history of pancreatitis. was told if he continues to drink he will die. wife recently left him after 15 years. he is spiraling downhill very rapidly. not eating. falling down drunk daily. i think you know what i mean... i have offered t...
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debhud
|
10
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604
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i feel self loathing when i take a drink??
(Preview)
Hi my father is an alcoholic who went into recovery 10 years ago but recently is back drinking small amounts every so often. I went to a family wedding recently and had a few glasses of wine myself. I felt serious self loathing and rage for 3 days after and wanted to verbally attack someone. I feel so confu...
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mags123
|
6
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656
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I can't believe this is my life now.
(Preview)
Good Morning everyone. My husband is an alcoholic. He has been going down this path for at least 4 years now. Heck, it could be even longer than that. His father was an alcoholic as well. His father has been sober now for 18 years. Back in March, as things were just as normal as ever, my AH came up to me in the...
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GettingA2ndChance
|
13
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697
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New here - very screwed up marriage
(Preview)
Hi everyone - read a lot of posts last night - couldn't sleep. I feel like I know you all and you all know what I'm going thru. I have 2 young children and no job or I'd be gone by now. AH (13 yr marriaed, also bipolar compulsive liar) does not think he has any problems - all me, I cause all the problems in our ma...
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pjm15
|
8
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611
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sex with a drunk person
(Preview)
He came home again last night very drunk wanting sex. I CANNOT WILLNOT have sex with him when he's drunk. He wouldn't take no for an answer, he was following me around the house naked. He kept trying to touch me, kiss me, etc. He repeatedly tried to get into bed with me (smelling like the bar floor). He's...
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callmemara
|
5
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865
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Hands off
(Preview)
Just for today I am keeping my hands off what is not mine. Other peoples problems, issues, beliefs, ideas, fears, challenges, behaviours, attitudes and choices are theirs and their responsibility. I am gonna live and let live. The last bit is the most important part....LIVE. I can get so focused on t...
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Tigger
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9
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751
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