Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

flyagain · flyagain

I am new to this forum. I am also new to trying to be in the life of some one going through AA. I have been seeing some one for the last month that is attending AA for substance abuse and I really care for him. This is some one that I knew in high school that just came back into my life and where I want to be there for...

Tracy · Tracy

I am realising that I do not have a very good relationship with myself. It is better today thanks to fellowship but still has lots of room for improvement. Today I am trying to explore what i want need and what i do and do not want in my life. Any shares on how you built a good relationship with yourself whi...

angel66 · angel66

Hi Everyone ~ My name is Jackie and I'm not new to the boards.......just took a few years off. My husband is an alcoholic. He is in denial. He doesnt want to stop drinking. I have been struggling for several years. I keep think that things are going to get better. I keep thinking that one day soon, he will ge...

texasgal · texasgal

I had appt with fertility Dr today but i can't go because of no money I needed to go to this appt now I have to wait another month before I can go again. I was so angry & sad I started to cry & I sent my soberA a heated text that i wanted to tell him off but couldn't cuz no good will come. He called & call...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

I just put my A son out the door. The binging won't stop and he won't seek help. I've been threatening for some time now but I guess either he didn't take me at my word or maybe the alcohol wouldn't let him hear what I was saying. Really didn't want to do this just yet cause hubby is still recovering from he...

amills4294 · amills4294

Just needed to post this morning - to make sure that I'm taking care of me. This past weekend I got really really snippy with my family and I realized that much of it was my own fault. I started slipping back into the "well if they won't take care of this house/stuff/dinner/responsibilites I'm go...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I am grateful for my home. I have turtles in my back yard. I love turtles. I am grateful to be home with my son. I love being able to tell him I love him and give him hugs and kisses whenever I want to. I am grateful for my business. I have made so many new friends and am learning to love myself. I am grateful for my...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, more prayers please .. LOL! It's actually good .. it looks like we will have a trial tomorrow at 230pm. Again with the afternoon time .. ugh! The good news is that it's all up to the judge ... soooo I'm relieved!!! that means it doesn't matter the bickering between my stbx and myself. So neither...

Wanderer · Wanderer

After living in crazytown for quite a few years, I started accepting that it is just that, crazy! (ha, ha...so many revelations!) With the help of Al Anon, I'm starting to allow myself to realize that I don't have to accept ALL the craziness and I am starting to listen to my intuition again. A few days ago...

pjm15 · pjm15

I know my AH is at a strip club right now. I had a moment of weakness and tried to call his cell, but no answer and I did not leave a message. I also texted him, but no response. I was going to tell him that I knew where he was and I'm sure it would have ended up in a huge fight. I guess it worked out that he didn't...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So today I am wishing all of you a very happy 4th of July! I am sittting at a computer at the library as usual & the library is closed tomorrow. So, enjoy your Independence Day as you feel. I am having some people over that are in recovery. It is a man & his wife & 3 kids. He is a recovering addict &a...

callmemara · callmemara

I was at the used bookstore and saw a book called "Rational Recovery from Alcoholism". It caught my eye since the very nature of alcoholics is they don't think rationally. I bought the book, we'll see.

StinkySol · StinkySol

My son and his wife are narcotic addicts and have lost custody of their two sons. My husband and I are sharing the the load of caring for the boys with his wife's parents. The kids (11 & 14) are relatively easy to care for but the problem we have is with the our son and DIL. They have 3 3hr supervised visit...

silent · silent

a went to the er this morn,hopeing to get what i call dope,he called me said they wouldnt give him a shot without seeing me to pick him up,i came on up there and he was out in parking lot and told me that they didnt give him nothing so i said so you didnt get any dope,he didnt like what i said cause i called it dope...

katfshh · katfshh

I just wanted to thank everyone on this board for their kind thoughts, prayers, and for listening. I truly appreciate it. Last week was a major crisis for me, and I can't believe I made it through. Thank God for all of you, and Alanon. The kindness, compassion, and true understanding I received from mos...

namaste · namaste

Hi Everyone, I'm a grateful member of Alanon and also AA. I'd like to throw my ESH in the ring. I think the misperception for many is that alcoholics have a drinking problem. The truth is I have many deeper problems beyond that and have used alcohol as the solution to those problems. I am an ego mania...

Diva · Diva

they are still alcoholics. Perhaps that sentence sounds crazy. OF COURSE THEY ARE! Everyone who loves an A knows that. It's the actions and thoughts that make me shake my head, grit my teeth, and try to remember who and what he is. I don't think we have ever had a conversation that did not include th...

Amandakay · Amandakay

As many of you know, my AH is in a recovery program. (It's a 9 month program and he's been there for almost 2 months now... I guess I should start calling him my recovering AH... Anyway the program is an extension of the church I go to. We have a woman's facility and a men's facilty-80 beds total) Well, yeste...

Wanderer · Wanderer

First, I'd like to say thank-you to everyone who posts on this board. I'm a few months new to al anon and have been reading this board for about 6 months. I am so thankful to all of you who post here--you may have no idea how much you've helped me in the last few months. Reading here is also what prompted me to g...

leeranger · leeranger

I am new to the al-anon world and I'm focusing on detachment. My AH has been binge drinking for a few days and I'm trying to set boundaries so that I can stop finding myself angry every time he goes to buy alcohol and drinks. I know that my choices are mine and his choice are his, and that even though I do not li...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't say enough how important it is to wait for the miracle. I am so much more relaxed now that I put things back into perspective. I am no longer bored! I spent my weekend doing things that I love to do & I tell ya even shopping can make a difference if I don't let it control me. I am a bit of a compulsive s...

Katy · Katy

esh please? Our 24 year old daughter has returned home briefly while she works and saves to return to eductaion in october to do a masters, I am feeling my feelings diffrently and whilst I am changing she is sooooo angry and lashing out verbally at myself and husband, she is a deeply loyal and caring pers...

katfshh · katfshh

I don't know how to handle this today. My daughter (18) who has been gone for 10 days on a trip out of the country with her Church is coming home today. My AF is in a mood, I have never witnessed before. He is yelling at me, and flipping out. I don't want my daughter to witness this.

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m., July 2 meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair it for me. Thanks.

silent · silent

well,for the last 2 weeks things have been going gr8t,loveing each other to peices as we always have for the last 20 braekups which i was always the one breakinging it off,he drank or drinks 3 24oz everynite after he gets off work sometimes he just manages to get 2 24oz down before he falls asleep after be...

Pushka · Pushka

First court date and I am nervous as a cat in a room full of 100 rocking chairs. It's going to be ok I know that and God already knows the outcome .. just asking for some prayers and positive thoughts that things workout in the best interests of the kids and I. Thanks so much for all of the support here I don'...

deenay · deenay

I've been married for 24 yrs. There were issues before we got married with alcohol and substance abuse, but I figured that these would change once we were married! (yeah, I know!) Early on things weren't good, moved 300 miles from friends and family to begin a new life (my idea) and to save the marriage....

Pushka · Pushka

Something that apparently is driving everyone in my life crazy is that I've now changed how I make decisions. I am hearing a lot of people who love me a lot that I HAVE to make decisions right now!! I have to know what I want to major in for college. I have to know when I'm going to move. I have to know what t...

Chaya · Chaya

I went to go get the Mr. Unavailable book that was recommended on the board but there weren't any copies at the book store. I did go to the author's blog called Baggage Reclaim and it addresses the many of the same issues we are dealing with here. It focuses a lot on learning to love oneself. As I mentioned,...

dragonflys · dragonflys

So I sat down last night to find something good to watch on TV. I was flipping through ONDemand and found a Dr. Drew TV show. The show had Christi Hall on it and she was talking about her book that she wrote called "Love Isnt Supposed to Hurt" I downloaded the book on my Kindle, and wow!! I have...

Diva · Diva

For ten years I have tried. I have given ALAnon my best shot. I have listened, attempted to learn; I am still angry, hurt, and upset with his nasty drunken binges. I have no peace of mind. I have no understanding of his addiction. I keep trying, and keep hanging on. I don't know why it hasn't worked...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, It has been awhile since I have posted. I use to post always when I was having a hard time. I must admit that some of my greatest inspiration came from this board. However, July is a hard month for me..That is when I lost my husband. It will be 5 years this month and I must say, I am enjoyin...

rehprof · rehprof

So...it's summer...my ex A lives with his sister...no job...living on money he got from me in divorce...etc...none of them work...they all smoke cigs...etc...not the best role models... they have a pool... when my 10 year old is home at my place-- I have to work lots of hours...and am often tired and...

Tigger · Tigger

I know this probably sounds obvious, but (I'm realising on a deeper level today) it's not just an As drinking or other compulsion I can't change, it's their maturity, their availability, their self centredness, their reactions, whether they care, how they see me, their misunderstandings judgeme...

4LittleHens · 4LittleHens

I am new here to the forum. Have attended Al-Anon meetings but haven't found the right one yet. The forum here seemed like the best place to talk about what my recovering AH said to me. My AH went through a 28 program in March. He has been sober since that time and actively works his recovery program...

Tigger · Tigger

Why do we have to love such unavailable people? Who will go to any lengths to keep us in a role and keep us at a distance. We try to make it work, oh how we try, but they have other plans for us. I feel like a hostage to love, kept in the dark and fed the worst parts of my partner. I know the love is there and it is deep...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

Hello everyone. I have been reading this MIP page daily since my last post. I have been in AlAnon for two years. Last post I needed to hear from others with an Alcoholic Daughter/Son to see how they were coping as our AD was a few days away from living in her car with our grandson. Took the advise and turned...

Rainbow Woman · Rainbow Woman

I'm really struggling with forgiveness today. Had such a beautiful day yesterday and felt so connected and grateful and then came into contact with someone who pushed my buttons today and felt this rage. Have pushed it down by getting depressed and feel I have lost a chunk of my day to it. It's hyster...

erleichda · erleichda

I keep asking myself why I am so afraid to leave my (a) husband. We have been married less than a year. This isn't the life I thought I was signing up for. So why can't I just go? Why would anyone choose to stay?

noclevername · noclevername

Do I need to contact anyone before going to a face to face Al Anon mtg or can I just show up? And I saw something on this forum about al anon chat sessions. How can I tell when those are held and where do I log on to find them?

imom · imom

Good Morning Everyone, First I want to say how grateful I am that I have this forum. If I didn't have this place to come to "talk" and read I don't know what I would do. Last night I went to hang with the girls for the first time in a long time. It was so nice. We talked, we cried, we laughed. I am...

Fiona · Fiona

hi all just started logging on to this site and its been a great help already - my husband of 14 years is an alcoholic in denial and has been full on drinking since his 'soulmate' pal died two years ago in july. we have two small children so i had to ask him to leave the family home for their safety and min...

willowtree · willowtree

What does everyone like to eat for dinner? I am in a rut with cooking around here and I would really like to cook more family dinners around our home. This summer has been so busy and I atleast want us to sit and eat a yummy dinner together more often. So give me you ideas :) My kids will thank you since chi...

katfshh · katfshh

I am really trying not to focus on his drinking. I am trying to be normal, do things for myself and just go on without everything focusing on him. In the past I have made the mistake of buying him booze when he is "trying to wean." I realize it is all crap. Well, he is just about out of booze right no...

CDK · CDK

Hi all. Having a rough day in my head. I feel anger today. I dont know what to do with it. Im not angry at specific things my ex A did or didnt do. Today, I am angry at alcoholism. Today, I am angry at codependency. I am angry that he, good person, has alcoholism. I am angry that I, a good person, am codependent....

Katy · Katy

For those that don't know, we say white rabbits on pinch punch first of the month. So then? I got my car right outside my kitchen window, if I could get it in the house believe me it would be in, I haven't done a lot of driving her yet, been too busy working it's great though because I can park her right outside...

katfshh · katfshh

He seems to think he is such an expert on recovery. "I've been in this program for a very long time." Ugh. Well, he sucks at this program, obviously. I am reading "Getting Them Sober."

imom · imom

Does anyone else have the experience of not being able to talk nicely to the A while they detach? I have been working very hard and have had some small successess (yeah for me!) but sometimes I don't want to even say hi or bye to him because I just want to completely push him out of my life. Maybe I am thinki...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/forum.spark#lastPostAnchor

callmemara · callmemara

One of many of the crazy things that happened on his drunken escapade last night. It was on the floor, seat and all in the toilet seat hinge. It was so nasty and hard to clean it out of the toilet seat hinge. Unfortunately I had to clean it up because he obviously couldn't and that is the only toilet in our hou...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

That is what I want to tell my exAH today! I can't believe how angry I am. I wish I had a meeting I could go to tonight. I do all the running and he turned away having the kids this weekend at the first excuse he could find because there is a big wedding happening near him this weekend which means lots of people p...

texasgal · texasgal

I waited for him to come but then i went to go lie down I feel asleep. I heard the door around 12:30. I just stayed in bed I was so mentally exhausted. He is still asleep & I'm even wodering if i should even mention anything or just let it go. It was a crazy night. I hadn't been through one like that in a long t...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

What is a good comeback or how do you all handle it when your A is just joking or kidding? I am so tied of taking offense to all his "just joking and I can never take a joke! It is never funny to me! But I would like to just know how everyone handles this, Please!

Katy · Katy

I bought myself my first car yesterday, no big shake to some I suspect but to me it's monumentuss, I feel I have comitted to something at last and that I am starting to accept and appreciate life as it is and not how I would have it be, it's been a long process of ye but's,and it has been very very hard to get to t...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I came across this surfing the net basically. At one time or other I definitely used all of these excuses as did my ex-A. I like they way the author explained all this without getting too heady into psychological jargon. **Common stereotyped addictive defenses include but are by no means limited t...

texasgal · texasgal

I checked my husbands FB account & that woman put honey this honey that all over his FB. I called him & yelled and argued. He said he hadn't checked it he didn't know what i was talking about & so i yelled more. I got infuriated and posted a nasty message about how a crazy stalker is checking out...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH seems to think that since he hasn't been getting any lately, that I must be having an affair. He doesn't know what is wrong in our marriage and can't seem to understand why things are bad? All I have to say is: WHAT THE HECK??? Seriously, he has no idea? What planet is he living on? If he's concerne...

noclevername · noclevername

My sister who is an alcoholic is in a rehab facility. Her daughter has been placed with me by child protective services. Her daughter really misses her and vice versa and I want my sister to be successful so she will have a chance to have her daughter back. So my sister is in the program which is a six mont...

imom · imom

Does anyone have any information on wet brain? My ah is showing some weird symptoms. Not sure if it is something he is taking or the beginning of the end. Last week at a swim meet u had to take him home because he was so out of it and he slept for 3 days. He was hospitalized a few months ago but they did not mentio...

CDK · CDK

Hi everyone! My friends in my pocket... :). I think of you daily. Thought Id share my HP funny of the day. I went to the health store in search of something to help me sleep. It continues to be a struggle. Tne lady that helped me is so kind and easy to talk to. And, I shared why I think Im having such physical p...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	what to do next... IiI am new to this (Preview) I am new to this forum. I am also new to trying to be in the life of some one going through AA. I have been seeing some one for the last month that is attending AA for substance abuse and I really care for him. This is some one that I knew in high school that just came back into my life and where I want to be there for...	flyagain	11	790	Jul 4, 2012 by flyagain
	relationship with self (Preview) I am realising that I do not have a very good relationship with myself. It is better today thanks to fellowship but still has lots of room for improvement. Today I am trying to explore what i want need and what i do and do not want in my life. Any shares on how you built a good relationship with yourself whi...	Tracy	10	706	Jul 4, 2012 by abbyal
	Getting Started......Need help with Detaching (Preview) Hi Everyone ~ My name is Jackie and I'm not new to the boards.......just took a few years off. My husband is an alcoholic. He is in denial. He doesnt want to stop drinking. I have been struggling for several years. I keep think that things are going to get better. I keep thinking that one day soon, he will ge...	angel66	2	552	Jul 4, 2012 by Bettina
	frustrated and so angry (Preview) I had appt with fertility Dr today but i can't go because of no money I needed to go to this appt now I have to wait another month before I can go again. I was so angry & sad I started to cry & I sent my soberA a heated text that i wanted to tell him off but couldn't cuz no good will come. He called & call...	texasgal	11	698	Jul 4, 2012 by texasgal
	My heart hurts (Preview) I just put my A son out the door. The binging won't stop and he won't seek help. I've been threatening for some time now but I guess either he didn't take me at my word or maybe the alcohol wouldn't let him hear what I was saying. Really didn't want to do this just yet cause hubby is still recovering from he...	Path to Serenity	16	618	Jul 4, 2012 by Diva
	Finding me amongst this life I'm in :) (Preview) Just needed to post this morning - to make sure that I'm taking care of me. This past weekend I got really really snippy with my family and I realized that much of it was my own fault. I started slipping back into the "well if they won't take care of this house/stuff/dinner/responsibilites I'm go...	amills4294	5	590	Jul 4, 2012 by Pushka
	good things (Preview) I am grateful for my home. I have turtles in my back yard. I love turtles. I am grateful to be home with my son. I love being able to tell him I love him and give him hugs and kisses whenever I want to. I am grateful for my business. I have made so many new friends and am learning to love myself. I am grateful for my...	StargazerLily	3	438	Jul 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Update!!! (Preview) Well, more prayers please .. LOL! It's actually good .. it looks like we will have a trial tomorrow at 230pm. Again with the afternoon time .. ugh! The good news is that it's all up to the judge ... soooo I'm relieved!!! that means it doesn't matter the bickering between my stbx and myself. So neither...	Pushka	12	551	Jul 4, 2012 by danni
	giving up control? (Preview) After living in crazytown for quite a few years, I started accepting that it is just that, crazy! (ha, ha...so many revelations!) With the help of Al Anon, I'm starting to allow myself to realize that I don't have to accept ALL the craziness and I am starting to listen to my intuition again. A few days ago...	Wanderer	2	695	Jul 4, 2012 by Mattie
	Confused!!!! (Preview) I know my AH is at a strip club right now. I had a moment of weakness and tried to call his cell, but no answer and I did not leave a message. I also texted him, but no response. I was going to tell him that I knew where he was and I'm sure it would have ended up in a huge fight. I guess it worked out that he didn't...	pjm15	12	566	Jul 3, 2012 by pjm15
	happy 4th! (Preview) So today I am wishing all of you a very happy 4th of July! I am sittting at a computer at the library as usual & the library is closed tomorrow. So, enjoy your Independence Day as you feel. I am having some people over that are in recovery. It is a man & his wife & 3 kids. He is a recovering addict &a...	Hoot Nanny	1	319	Jul 3, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Rational? (Preview) I was at the used bookstore and saw a book called "Rational Recovery from Alcoholism". It caught my eye since the very nature of alcoholics is they don't think rationally. I bought the book, we'll see.	callmemara	2	384	Jul 3, 2012 by canadianguy
	I'm having a rough time (Preview) My son and his wife are narcotic addicts and have lost custody of their two sons. My husband and I are sharing the the load of caring for the boys with his wife's parents. The kids (11 & 14) are relatively easy to care for but the problem we have is with the our son and DIL. They have 3 3hr supervised visit...	StinkySol	5	666	Jul 3, 2012 by StinkySol
	my a and behavior (Preview) a went to the er this morn,hopeing to get what i call dope,he called me said they wouldnt give him a shot without seeing me to pick him up,i came on up there and he was out in parking lot and told me that they didnt give him nothing so i said so you didnt get any dope,he didnt like what i said cause i called it dope...	silent	2	436	Jul 3, 2012 by hotrod
	Little Update and Thank you (Preview) I just wanted to thank everyone on this board for their kind thoughts, prayers, and for listening. I truly appreciate it. Last week was a major crisis for me, and I can't believe I made it through. Thank God for all of you, and Alanon. The kindness, compassion, and true understanding I received from mos...	katfshh	4	462	Jul 3, 2012 by PP
	Ponderings... (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm a grateful member of Alanon and also AA. I'd like to throw my ESH in the ring. I think the misperception for many is that alcoholics have a drinking problem. The truth is I have many deeper problems beyond that and have used alcohol as the solution to those problems. I am an ego mania...	namaste	5	538	Jul 3, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Even when they are sober....... (Preview) they are still alcoholics. Perhaps that sentence sounds crazy. OF COURSE THEY ARE! Everyone who loves an A knows that. It's the actions and thoughts that make me shake my head, grit my teeth, and try to remember who and what he is. I don't think we have ever had a conversation that did not include th...	Diva	9	788	Jul 3, 2012 by Debilyn
	My AH was being so sweet! (Preview) As many of you know, my AH is in a recovery program. (It's a 9 month program and he's been there for almost 2 months now... I guess I should start calling him my recovering AH... Anyway the program is an extension of the church I go to. We have a woman's facility and a men's facilty-80 beds total) Well, yeste...	Amandakay	6	519	Jul 3, 2012 by Chaya
	struggling with sober AH... (Preview) First, I'd like to say thank-you to everyone who posts on this board. I'm a few months new to al anon and have been reading this board for about 6 months. I am so thankful to all of you who post here--you may have no idea how much you've helped me in the last few months. Reading here is also what prompted me to g...	Wanderer	8	721	Jul 3, 2012 by abbyal
	AH says he will stop drinking thanks to peer pressure (Preview) I am new to the al-anon world and I'm focusing on detachment. My AH has been binge drinking for a few days and I'm trying to set boundaries so that I can stop finding myself angry every time he goes to buy alcohol and drinks. I know that my choices are mine and his choice are his, and that even though I do not li...	leeranger	4	531	Jul 3, 2012 by katfshh
	what a difference a weekend makes! (Preview) I can't say enough how important it is to wait for the miracle. I am so much more relaxed now that I put things back into perspective. I am no longer bored! I spent my weekend doing things that I love to do & I tell ya even shopping can make a difference if I don't let it control me. I am a bit of a compulsive s...	Hoot Nanny	1	491	Jul 2, 2012 by Smukke
	another situation! (Preview) esh please? Our 24 year old daughter has returned home briefly while she works and saves to return to eductaion in october to do a masters, I am feeling my feelings diffrently and whilst I am changing she is sooooo angry and lashing out verbally at myself and husband, she is a deeply loyal and caring pers...	Katy	3	580	Jul 2, 2012 by abbyal
	He is ranting and screaming. (Preview) I don't know how to handle this today. My daughter (18) who has been gone for 10 days on a trip out of the country with her Church is coming home today. My AF is in a mood, I have never witnessed before. He is yelling at me, and flipping out. I don't want my daughter to witness this.	katfshh	9	837	Jul 2, 2012 by noclevername
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m., July 2 meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair it for me. Thanks.	shimo	0	274	Jul 2, 2012 by shimo
	haveing a alcoholic/drug addict in my home (Preview) well,for the last 2 weeks things have been going gr8t,loveing each other to peices as we always have for the last 20 braekups which i was always the one breakinging it off,he drank or drinks 3 24oz everynite after he gets off work sometimes he just manages to get 2 24oz down before he falls asleep after be...	silent	4	804	Jul 2, 2012 by Jennifer
	Prayers Please :) (Preview) First court date and I am nervous as a cat in a room full of 100 rocking chairs. It's going to be ok I know that and God already knows the outcome .. just asking for some prayers and positive thoughts that things workout in the best interests of the kids and I. Thanks so much for all of the support here I don'...	Pushka	9	627	Jul 2, 2012 by Wanderer
	newbie (Preview) I've been married for 24 yrs. There were issues before we got married with alcohol and substance abuse, but I figured that these would change once we were married! (yeah, I know!) Early on things weren't good, moved 300 miles from friends and family to begin a new life (my idea) and to save the marriage....	deenay	1	517	Jul 2, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Changing the things I can (Preview) Something that apparently is driving everyone in my life crazy is that I've now changed how I make decisions. I am hearing a lot of people who love me a lot that I HAVE to make decisions right now!! I have to know what I want to major in for college. I have to know when I'm going to move. I have to know what t...	Pushka	5	645	Jul 2, 2012 by amills4294
	"Is it Love or is it Addiction?" (Preview) I went to go get the Mr. Unavailable book that was recommended on the board but there weren't any copies at the book store. I did go to the author's blog called Baggage Reclaim and it addresses the many of the same issues we are dealing with here. It focuses a lot on learning to love oneself. As I mentioned,...	Chaya	6	734	Jul 2, 2012 by rehprof
	Love Isnt Supposed To Hurt (Preview) So I sat down last night to find something good to watch on TV. I was flipping through ONDemand and found a Dr. Drew TV show. The show had Christi Hall on it and she was talking about her book that she wrote called "Love Isnt Supposed to Hurt" I downloaded the book on my Kindle, and wow!! I have...	dragonflys	5	684	Jul 2, 2012 by dragonflys
	I am a total failure! (Preview) For ten years I have tried. I have given ALAnon my best shot. I have listened, attempted to learn; I am still angry, hurt, and upset with his nasty drunken binges. I have no peace of mind. I have no understanding of his addiction. I keep trying, and keep hanging on. I don't know why it hasn't worked...	Diva	18	705	Jul 2, 2012 by Rocky38
	Living Life (Preview) Hello Friends, It has been awhile since I have posted. I use to post always when I was having a hard time. I must admit that some of my greatest inspiration came from this board. However, July is a hard month for me..That is when I lost my husband. It will be 5 years this month and I must say, I am enjoyin...	Andrea12	5	480	Jul 2, 2012 by Rocky38
	I need to know it will be okay... (Preview) So...it's summer...my ex A lives with his sister...no job...living on money he got from me in divorce...etc...none of them work...they all smoke cigs...etc...not the best role models... they have a pool... when my 10 year old is home at my place-- I have to work lots of hours...and am often tired and...	rehprof	2	478	Jul 2, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Serenity to Accept (Preview) I know this probably sounds obvious, but (I'm realising on a deeper level today) it's not just an As drinking or other compulsion I can't change, it's their maturity, their availability, their self centredness, their reactions, whether they care, how they see me, their misunderstandings judgeme...	Tigger	3	372	Jul 2, 2012 by Tigger
	Dropped a Bomb (Preview) I am new here to the forum. Have attended Al-Anon meetings but haven't found the right one yet. The forum here seemed like the best place to talk about what my recovering AH said to me. My AH went through a 28 program in March. He has been sober since that time and actively works his recovery program...	4LittleHens	13	635	Jul 2, 2012 by abbyal
	Breaking Heart (Preview) Why do we have to love such unavailable people? Who will go to any lengths to keep us in a role and keep us at a distance. We try to make it work, oh how we try, but they have other plans for us. I feel like a hostage to love, kept in the dark and fed the worst parts of my partner. I know the love is there and it is deep...	Tigger	8	895	Jul 2, 2012 by Tigger
	Alcoholic Daughter is back (Preview) Hello everyone. I have been reading this MIP page daily since my last post. I have been in AlAnon for two years. Last post I needed to hear from others with an Alcoholic Daughter/Son to see how they were coping as our AD was a few days away from living in her car with our grandson. Took the advise and turned...	LeenieBeanie	5	891	Jul 2, 2012 by LeenieBeanie
	Forgiveness (Preview) I'm really struggling with forgiveness today. Had such a beautiful day yesterday and felt so connected and grateful and then came into contact with someone who pushed my buttons today and felt this rage. Have pushed it down by getting depressed and feel I have lost a chunk of my day to it. It's hyster...	Rainbow Woman	2	965	Jul 1, 2012 by hotrod
	Why stay with an alcoholic? (Preview) I keep asking myself why I am so afraid to leave my (a) husband. We have been married less than a year. This isn't the life I thought I was signing up for. So why can't I just go? Why would anyone choose to stay?	erleichda	12	1111	Jul 1, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Question about Al Anon mtgs (Preview) Do I need to contact anyone before going to a face to face Al Anon mtg or can I just show up? And I saw something on this forum about al anon chat sessions. How can I tell when those are held and where do I log on to find them?	noclevername	5	491	Jul 1, 2012 by lacewing
	rough morning (Preview) Good Morning Everyone, First I want to say how grateful I am that I have this forum. If I didn't have this place to come to "talk" and read I don't know what I would do. Last night I went to hang with the girls for the first time in a long time. It was so nice. We talked, we cried, we laughed. I am...	imom	4	521	Jul 1, 2012 by Debilyn
	resentment (Preview) hi all just started logging on to this site and its been a great help already - my husband of 14 years is an alcoholic in denial and has been full on drinking since his 'soulmate' pal died two years ago in july. we have two small children so i had to ask him to leave the family home for their safety and min...	Fiona	6	711	Jul 1, 2012 by Tigger
	Off Topic! :) I need some dinner ideas (Preview) What does everyone like to eat for dinner? I am in a rut with cooking around here and I would really like to cook more family dinners around our home. This summer has been so busy and I atleast want us to sit and eat a yummy dinner together more often. So give me you ideas :) My kids will thank you since chi...	willowtree	12	667	Jul 1, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	He wants me to buy booze right now! (Preview) I am really trying not to focus on his drinking. I am trying to be normal, do things for myself and just go on without everything focusing on him. In the past I have made the mistake of buying him booze when he is "trying to wean." I realize it is all crap. Well, he is just about out of booze right no...	katfshh	6	540	Jul 1, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Anger (Preview) Hi all. Having a rough day in my head. I feel anger today. I dont know what to do with it. Im not angry at specific things my ex A did or didnt do. Today, I am angry at alcoholism. Today, I am angry at codependency. I am angry that he, good person, has alcoholism. I am angry that I, a good person, am codependent....	CDK	4	570	Jul 1, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Good morning campers and white rabbits (Preview) For those that don't know, we say white rabbits on pinch punch first of the month. So then? I got my car right outside my kitchen window, if I could get it in the house believe me it would be in, I haven't done a lot of driving her yet, been too busy working it's great though because I can park her right outside...	Katy	3	517	Jul 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	AF said the book I am reading is stupid. (Preview) He seems to think he is such an expert on recovery. "I've been in this program for a very long time." Ugh. Well, he sucks at this program, obviously. I am reading "Getting Them Sober."	katfshh	5	442	Jul 1, 2012 by Diva
	detachment (Preview) Does anyone else have the experience of not being able to talk nicely to the A while they detach? I have been working very hard and have had some small successess (yeah for me!) but sometimes I don't want to even say hi or bye to him because I just want to completely push him out of my life. Maybe I am thinki...	imom	3	438	Jul 1, 2012 by Smukke
	Alanon Tradition 5 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/forum.spark#lastPostAnchor	hotrod	1	2050	Jul 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Poop on the toilet and floor (Preview) One of many of the crazy things that happened on his drunken escapade last night. It was on the floor, seat and all in the toilet seat hinge. It was so nasty and hard to clean it out of the toilet seat hinge. Unfortunately I had to clean it up because he obviously couldn't and that is the only toilet in our hou...	callmemara	12	673	Jul 1, 2012 by texasgal
	You are the biggest idiot I know!!!! (Preview) That is what I want to tell my exAH today! I can't believe how angry I am. I wish I had a meeting I could go to tonight. I do all the running and he turned away having the kids this weekend at the first excuse he could find because there is a big wedding happening near him this weekend which means lots of people p...	Breakingfree	3	634	Jul 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	another day? (Preview) I waited for him to come but then i went to go lie down I feel asleep. I heard the door around 12:30. I just stayed in bed I was so mentally exhausted. He is still asleep & I'm even wodering if i should even mention anything or just let it go. It was a crazy night. I hadn't been through one like that in a long t...	texasgal	9	655	Jun 30, 2012 by Pushka
	Question? (Preview) What is a good comeback or how do you all handle it when your A is just joking or kidding? I am so tied of taking offense to all his "just joking and I can never take a joke! It is never funny to me! But I would like to just know how everyone handles this, Please!	sisdragonfly1957	6	551	Jun 30, 2012 by pjm15
	just some stuff (Preview) I bought myself my first car yesterday, no big shake to some I suspect but to me it's monumentuss, I feel I have comitted to something at last and that I am starting to accept and appreciate life as it is and not how I would have it be, it's been a long process of ye but's,and it has been very very hard to get to t...	Katy	4	474	Jun 30, 2012 by Temple
	Excuses (Preview) I came across this surfing the net basically. At one time or other I definitely used all of these excuses as did my ex-A. I like they way the author explained all this without getting too heady into psychological jargon. **Common stereotyped addictive defenses include but are by no means limited t...	pinkchip	6	573	Jun 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	im so messed up (Preview) I checked my husbands FB account & that woman put honey this honey that all over his FB. I called him & yelled and argued. He said he hadn't checked it he didn't know what i was talking about & so i yelled more. I got infuriated and posted a nasty message about how a crazy stalker is checking out...	texasgal	15	691	Jun 30, 2012 by orchidlover
	AH thinks I'm having an affair? (Preview) My AH seems to think that since he hasn't been getting any lately, that I must be having an affair. He doesn't know what is wrong in our marriage and can't seem to understand why things are bad? All I have to say is: WHAT THE HECK??? Seriously, he has no idea? What planet is he living on? If he's concerne...	ilovedogs	7	806	Jun 30, 2012 by orchidlover
	Did I screw up? (Preview) My sister who is an alcoholic is in a rehab facility. Her daughter has been placed with me by child protective services. Her daughter really misses her and vice versa and I want my sister to be successful so she will have a chance to have her daughter back. So my sister is in the program which is a six mont...	noclevername	6	576	Jun 30, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Wet brain (Preview) Does anyone have any information on wet brain? My ah is showing some weird symptoms. Not sure if it is something he is taking or the beginning of the end. Last week at a swim meet u had to take him home because he was so out of it and he slept for 3 days. He was hospitalized a few months ago but they did not mentio...	imom	10	4465	Jun 30, 2012 by rehprof
	My HP has a sense of humor...again. (Preview) Hi everyone! My friends in my pocket... :). I think of you daily. Thought Id share my HP funny of the day. I went to the health store in search of something to help me sleep. It continues to be a struggle. Tne lady that helped me is so kind and easy to talk to. And, I shared why I think Im having such physical p...	CDK	4	428	Jun 30, 2012 by katfshh
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.