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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
That is what I want to tell my exAH today! I can't believe how angry I am. I wish I had a meeting I could go to tonight. I do all the running and he turned away having the kids this weekend at the first excuse he could find because there is a big wedding happening near him this weekend which means lots of people partying in his small town. I have not been pleasant and am not proud of myself because I don't know how to express to my 14 year old what a loser her dad is and again how his decisions just suck. I am walking around just seething and have yet to let it go. I am so mad I don't even know how to deal with it. My sponsir told me this could and probably would happen and I thought no way, i set it up so it's easy for him to see and have the kids and he wouldn't turn them away. And now well here it is not even 3 weeks since we have been here in this new town and he used my 14 year olds soccer games as an excuse to see them next weekend instead. My 14 year old was adamant she wanted to go to the island and I had a few friends say they would take her up there, but I have a 4 year old too and I have to work tomorrow, I planned my job around him taking the kids on weekends like he said and again I am eating my words, hope and faith in him. I divorced him over him being an A and I still have layers of denial that have to peel away, GEEZ. It's time to get off the pity pot and make a plan B, because I have wasted all day sitting on my pity pot and stewing and getting mad at my little one, because she peed her pants 3 times and woke me up when I tried to take a nap after we got home from 2 soccer games my oldest had. I wish I could protect them and not have him effect my schedule or theirs anymore.
-- Edited by Breakingfree on Saturday 30th of June 2012 06:51:26 PM
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
My daughter and I talk about disappointment when it comes to her dad and what I usually go to which I know is not popular is whatever their dad does or doesn't do it's not about them, me or anyone else, it's ALL about his disease. We do have to love him where he is at, we do not have to like the disease, decisions, or mental thought process he goes through to get to a decision.
I'm so sorry that you are going through this and yes .. always have to have that plan B for the simple fact he's an A and they are not reliable. Their primary concern is getting what they want when they want it and how they want it. Whomever gets in the way to hell with them.
You have a strong program and feelings aren't facts. ::I"m ducking as you throw the shoe at me .. lol:::
Hugs P :)
Sending much love and whatever support you need.
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I know that your know that your little one may very well be having accidents because she is picking up on all the tension. Little ones don't have filters, so they just pick up on emotions no matter what words are said or not. Take care of you three. It will perhaps boil down very rapidly to you can't count on him for anything, so good that you are thinking about alternate plans.
Good luck!
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
I know my little one feeds off of me and that is why I am not proud of myself at how mad I get over things with her, she just turned 4 and is a busy kid just being a kid. I have a lot of work to do on myself the next couple days for sure!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
