I bought myself my first car yesterday, no big shake to some I suspect but to me it's monumentuss, I feel I have comitted to something at last and that I am starting to accept and appreciate life as it is and not how I would have it be, it's been a long process of ye but's,and it has been very very hard to get to this point to not feel beaten down to trust in myself and my own instincts, to follow my own heart, I have always fought to try and control my alchoholics to want them to want what I want to see life as I see it,and in doing so this powerful cunning deseace got the better of me and I have to confess it's very poweful and cunning, I have decided through coming here and listening and learning form you guys, I can go about this a different way, so I am trying to be the person I want to attract and surround myself with upbeat posative peeps, ideas and thoughts. trying to be perfect was something I strove hard for. I needed everything just so. I set so many standards that i could never reach and failed all the time, my new little car has a few dings and scrapes and I still love her to bits I can lovingly polish her and make the surrounding areas shine so bright you won't see those little imperfections and I like that she has them, she is unique to me, and I am sure I will add afew myself, righty work now have a great day all, love you lots.

katy

  x