"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

imom · Senior Member

Wet brain

canadianguy · ~*Service Worker*~

You can find information on "wet brain" via Google or Wikipedia....

Is your A still active?? To me, in a word, he sounds like an...... alcoholic.

(Not trying to be a smart ass here)

Tom

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I wish we could help you! Each person is different, this could be a symtom of many things.

Plus as you said, only a doctor or nurse is qualified to do tests and get a diagnosis.

I know it's hard, but he has to be the one who gets the help. If he gets where his behavior is dire and life threatening you can call 911. They can at least get his vitals and be able to tell if he needs to be seen.

I was talking with two homeless men, who were very drunk. One kept having seizures. Paramedics came checked him out and off they went. He did not want help, he did not wan to go to the hospital. They deem that he can make his own decisions.

My AH showed alll kinds of off the wall stuff. People don't realize what drugs do to the insides of them as we only see the outside. Our bodies need tons of water to keep going, alcohol besides tearing up tissue dries out the organs!

I had to put my guy in HP's hands. He is a mess. hugs hon,debilyn

Andrea12 · ~*Service Worker*~

imom,

I must say, I agree with Tom on this. There is a reason he doesn't want to get checked out!

imom · Senior Member

oh yes, he is still active. I am not in denial of that. The thing is that these episodes happen when he has not been drinking. I was looking for some benadryl for my bee sting and I found some interesting looking pills laying in the medicine cabinet so they for sure are probably the culprit for his behavior. I think it's time for an intervention, but part of me just wants to give up and go on with my life with my kids so we can be happy and quit dealing with his addictions.

imom · Senior Member

After doing more research, I found that the pills are actually the same as the ones he is prescribed. I need to stop being such a detective. I stopped for so long, but now I have found myself playing that same old game. It's driving me crazy. I was doing so good for so long at not trying to "find" things that I already know are around. I still don't know why he is slurring his speech so bad and acting so out of it. I guess it doesn't matter why. What matters is that it is happening and I need to protect myself and my kids. I need to get away from this madness. It's so hard to take that leap into independence, even though I know I can handle things on my own. I am the primary breadwinner anyway, since he doesn't have a job and I got my legal ducks in a row, so to speak. It's all up to me now. How will I know when it's time to make the move? How do I know when I say, get help or get out? I did it before and he did get help, but not for long. I need it to really happen this time. I know that if he isn't ready he isn't going to go get help, but I also need to set boundaries and stick to them.
Sorry I'm rambling. It's been a rough day. I even went to an f2f meeting today, and I am still struggling.
I read Getting Them Sober and felt like it was written for me. I am trying to do all of things the book suggests. Maybe I'm just not patient enough to wait for him to want to get help.
HELP!!!!

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

In my experience in Al Anon, there is no waiting for them to get help. That is not even always the answer.

We learn in Al Anon to live with them with their disease and all it's symptoms and problems. We change us, never even thinking about them changing. That is none of our business.

If we choose to live with them, then we are the ones who need to accept them. Or if we can't we have them leave or we do. Or we stay the same and be miserable.

Addiction is a non cureable disease. He will have it forever with all its ups and downs.It's a life time of symptoms, using is just one and usually not the worst one.

I am really sad you are having such a tough time, its very apparent you care for him a lot. hugs,debilyn

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha imom...just some info...alcohol is synergistic meaning that if he is using meds and drinking the alcohol can and does multiply the power of the dose upward. If he's drinking and using it could mean he's using much more. Go on with your life anyhow. ((((hugs)))) smile

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

I had read and reread "Getting Them Sober" countless times when I was living with active alcoholism. It takes lots of practice to put all the suggestions into place. Through practice, as you know, they all become second nature. I'm just giving you a gentle nudge to keep working it. Regardless what he does, your live and your children's can get tons better in the process.

Christy · ~*Service Worker*~

When he's not drinking, the pills may be masking and mixing with withdrawl symptoms.

Hard tellin....

rehprof · ~*Service Worker*~

I actually teach about this kind of thing...a problem with people who have alcoholism is that when they act weird we blame it all on alcoholism -- which may be legit, or it may not be. Alcoholics get diabetes, brain tumors, AIDS, etc.all of which affect how they behave and can have cognitive effects..which is not meant to scare you...but there are lots of reasons people starting acting strangely, and it may or may not be alcohol related.

in this situation, trust your instincts, and if you are seeing new symptoms...have it checked out by a GP and a neurologist....

Would he go?

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"