Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm not sure where to begin with this. I've been trying to get my alcoholic brother to send my deceased mother's phone book to me but haven't had any luck. I finally gave up on that. I'm not on fb and don't want to be. I've made some attempts to find a few family and friends with whom there hasn't been any c...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is Slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I woke up this morning feeling very overwhelmed. I feel like I am tackling the world by myself. What triggered this was last night I was over at a friends house and they had just come back from a trip in the states. They kept showing of...

oldergal · oldergal

When your trust is betrayed and you become the wife whose A husband was untrue to you by internet porn and phone sex. How did you or do you learn to trust again. Does that innocent trust ever come back again. They say that the unforgiveness of someone is worse on you than the other person. If you have any exp...

mm830 · mm830

For almost four years I cannot remember having a good weekend. Starting the same pattern tonight. However, this weekend I will not worry if A is drinking, will not obsess about where he is who he is with. I will not walk on eggshells afraid to piss him off naturally he is mad at me its a given. And you know wh...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I was waiting at a stoplight this afternoon. I was rear-ended so hard my vehicle was pushed a few feet forward nearly missing traffic moving at 55 mph to 60 mph. the man who hit me - you guessed it - was high. Tried to convince me my vehicle was fine and to take off. I told him he'd have to stay. I was calli...

mm830 · mm830

Sometimes the known is easier in my head than the unknown. Interesting how many posts I read here resonate and I don't feel so alone right now. That I am so thankful for this board it is changing my thinking in so many ways. But truthfully I am scared of the unknown and I know that has to do with letting HP tak...

goodmonkey · goodmonkey

I'm leaving a city in the Pacific Northwest and going back to my home city right now. I cried a bit when I checked out of the hotel (via the TV- I couldn't let the hotel people see me cry!). I felt so safe in the hotel room all week. I was around 200 coworkers and felt very safe around them too... (Lonely at ti...

Bettina · Bettina

Hawaii was voted the happiest state in the Union... Must be the Aloha spirit... Do you know that Hawaii has more diversity than any other state and they celebrate their different ethnicities. Imagine , most are mixes of Japanese, Hawaiian, Portugese, Dutch, you would be going to a parade everyday...

irukan · irukan

I have been experiencing abdominal pain for the last 6 weeks, and the doctors so far cannot find anything "wrong." Of course, the pain is still here but no matter what type of stress relief I employ the pain remains.Next is either a medication or for them to look inside my intestine with a ca...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

You make me wanna shot, throw my hands up & shout, wait a minute? I am so grateful for my sense of humor. I don't get to share enough about the funny stuff. I am very serious. I have those moments when I just want to belly laugh. I am so happy that this is a safe place for me to share everything within reason...

Nancy ANN · Nancy ANN

I'm too the point tonight where I feel like I'm sinking .Don't know where to turn .I went to Alanon meetings many years ago for another situation in my life .I know I need to go back .Just need someone to listen now .My beautiful daughter is an alcoholic and so mentally unstable .This has been going on for...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t49437211/tradition-3-alanon/

tortuga · tortuga

mm830 and Melly asked me in a recent post to share how I did it. How did I stay away from A after leaving, and after he is the sweetest guy of the universe again, after he hit me the last time we actually met...? it is hard,and I didn't do it out of full conviction. Many doubts were there, some still come back fr...

islandtime · islandtime

Well it seems now that I have flung open the door, I'm kicking a few asses out of it. People that are not worthy of my friendship, or time. I thought I was friends with a couple of women, but the more I got to know them, I realized they were awful mean spirited, gossiping, back stabbing, b***. I go to a gym se...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so grateful for my cell phone these days. It does more for me than I realized. I used to almost hate it because it is touch screen & I almost always seem to touch the wrong thing. But, not these days! I am so glad that I can record like on a tape recorder my favorite songs & all. I couldn't possibly...

Bettina · Bettina

"Your Value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your Worth." Unk

Jen61 · Jen61

My husband started drinking about 8 years ago. It was not all the time, day in and day out, but he drank. He has quit before and I always felt wow, okay, we can go on. But, it did not last long. I finally told him two months ago I could not do this anymore and that he would have to leave. He was gone for 4 days...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Something happen this morning I felt odd different I think it has something to do with last night I made a hole in a shoe box and labeled it ms negativity . I looked at my self in my photos I take lots of and when I see that girl I'n the photo I seen some one other than me . I saw this girl lost but not ugly or stupid d...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

This is why I love my MIP family! You all so gently reminded me that hurting people hurt people and since a few of my new found friends are not in a recovery program I am noticing that they could probably use one. I know I have no control over them and maybe need to lower my expectations and just study with the...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I knew I would have ups and downs. Well the down came again. I got a call from my son's landlord and my son is drunk, has been for days and his landlord wants him out. I told him I can't do anything about it, he will have to call the police and whatever he needs to do. Now my anxiety has jumped up. I am doing al...

Bettina · Bettina

"Choices relating to one's partner, the balance between work & leisure time, participation in social activities, and healthy lifestyle are key factors in determining life satisfaction." (LiveHappy.com)

Bettina · Bettina

" Our greatest handicap is self-deception. We cannot recognize in ourselves the faults we criticize in others. If I could only foresee what an inspiring experience it is to search out the real me. I would not hesitate. The first step, after all, is to be completely honest in our search. "...

Growing77 · Growing77

Oh my goodness - I NEVER realise until its too late when he picks a fight and I get caught up trying to defend myself and then he's out the door with an excuse/reason to drink. So tired of this.

faith84 · faith84

To go home to my A with love. I will not resent him for his past mistakes, I will not blame him for mine. I will not inquire as to his use, I will not pry, as it is his business and not mine. I will not expect anything from him, as expectations are only upon myself. I will not worry, I will not feel anger, I will not...

afglin · afglin

Again I tried to get into the chatroom so I could attend the meetings. The java is not working. I sure hope it gets fixed. When I get the time I love to attend the meetings. LIN

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I get so mad when I work very hard to build these girls up in the nursing program that I am in and I work really hard at making them feel like they can do it! And every once in awhile they zing me with some stupid thing they say and it just pisses me off! I don't need to be brought down and I am unsure how to approach...

Rose50 · Rose50

I got a phone call this afternoon from my son. He is in the hospital (yet again). He told me he was having a panic attack and heart palpitations on Sunday and a roommate called 911. My suspicion is that he was drinking again. He can't handle stress and with being jobless and still waiting for his unemploym...

tortuga · tortuga

got email from A.... finally he is expressing all his feelings of gratitude towards the past... about the good times. I feel guilty now for being so distant, not taking the time to talk to him. I read the post about abuse cycle, and they also make sense. and the sentence : when in doubt, don't. am really...

neshema2 · neshema2

I know this is off topic and you guys will probably scroll and "dumpster it" but thats OK...I think breakthroughs even if off topic should be shared......Who knows??? Someone new just MIGHT be able to relate to this.............. I shared this on another board and it really woke up some f...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

i surrender i give up , im emtoinal broken down. i cant think of a reason to stay here . im dont fighting with my A , to many hurtful words were tossed theres no recovery from what we both said. im to sick to get help, im so confused and he sits there and smirks and tells me how sick and twisted my mind is. i w...

faith84 · faith84

So, after enduring four years of living and overly loving a heroin addict, I FINALLY got myself to an Al Anon meeting last night. No matter how much literature I've read on the disease and codependency, no matter how many therapy sessions I have had with both my therapist and my friends and family, fo...

grateful2be · grateful2be

This morning, a beautifully clear and sunny day in my locale, I went outside to my garden where I noticed a lone pink cone flower amidst the others that have all bloomed and turned brown and hard. I noticed a lump of something in the center of it. I walked closer to investigate. It was an iridescent gr...

tortuga · tortuga

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my own illness. I wouldn't come here if I didn't want to learn about myself and how to accept and love all about me. I wouldn't come back here, if I wasn't tired of being victimized due to my own weaknesses. I wouldn't have found this place if I didn't notice something was...

neshema2 · neshema2

I made a statement on my thread about its not being about the A's and N'a and Grateful picked up on a salient point about the lady asking one of my responsdees about the book being laid upon the sidewalk I posted that I had noticed it but did not want to open my "big mouth" MEANING that I sometimes...

yvettek · yvettek

I'm sorry for any mistakes I make with this post. This is my first time here and also the first time I ever talk about my son's problem with someone else. My son has been battling alcoholism for 8 years now. He's been to rehab twice, tried to commit suicide more times than I dare to remember and every now an...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning I need to say a little about getting in the last word, trying to explain, or answering emails, texts even phone calls. I just don't know why I had to do these things. WHY?? A fellow member finally got it though my head I can let go and I will be OK. To continue to try and explain, fix or ge...

Gaby · Gaby

Well my son has now been in rehab for 4 months and 1 day. He completes his 6 months of sobriety by choice in November. I still am not exactly where I want to be in my recovery. His Sponser has been working with me on the letting go letting god. As his pastor would say "your son needs to man up" face th...

Katytexasmom · Katytexasmom

My son keeps runnIng to his dads. His dad has no rules, no insight And hes never there. He buys our 19 year old beer and smokes pot with him. He sent me a message that says our son knows he has a problem, and we just need to encourage him right now....he needs encouragement. What he means by that is he wants us (...

goodmonkey · goodmonkey

I've been away from al-Anon for almost 3 years. at the same time i've been in a relationship with a man, who's not an addict. BUT he's a rageoholic, a victim of domestic violence as a kid (both getting beaten and witnessing his mom getting beaten) and grew up in a war-zone city in another part of the worl...

Lyne · Lyne

Last night at my F2F meeting, the topic was sponsorship. Throughout the years, I have heard people in recovery talk about their "meetings" and their "sponsors" like they were way too important. Now that I have accepted recovery as a very important part of my life, I get it. S...

Bettina · Bettina

" When will I realize that I need not permit the alcoholics behavior to confuse my life and destroy my peace of mind? When will I learn that there is no compulsion, in law or ethics, that forces me to accept humiliation, uncertainty and despair. Have I perhaps accepted it because I have a subconsci...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This past weekend, I decided to accept my friends' invitation to go camping at a mountain camping site that my family used to go to when our kids were in school. At first, I was concerned that going back there would bring back some uncomfortable feelings. This was a place where memories were created for...

DavidG · DavidG

The greatest gift Alanon offers us is Lois, and each and every one of us... and each one of us matters so much, so please keep coming back. In 2011 A*** and I took a train north of New York and came to the woodland town where Lois Bill and hundreds...

islandtime · islandtime

For the last 2 years, I have been shut down, lights out, nobodys home...... to the point of hardly speaking a word to my AH, not looking at him, and in general acting like he didn't exist. This was not something I was doing on purpose, It just happened. When I did talk, it was sharp and mean, and critical...

grateful2be · grateful2be

"Don't miss this. Don't miss your life. There's infinitely more than the experience of love we already know. Push against your borders. Dare to move through the next threshold to the freedom awaiting you." (Paula D'Arcy)

Pushka · Pushka

I love that saying if nothing changes .. well .. nothing changes .. in seeing the STBAX on Sunday night as weird and intense as that reaction was it really goes to show me how much things in my little world have changed .. my world is not so little. Those who are struggling through their own situations and...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Just been reading recent posts about the abuse cycle. I reckon, we can't post about that nasty old abuse cycle often enough, when someone mentions living with abuse. I didn't understand it for years, I just got sucked in again and again. But the more you understand it, the more obvious it all becomes an...

oldergal · oldergal

Alanon has helped me alot, combined with all the self-help books I have read, first hand experience and I think age too I have come to a few conclusions....no matter what I have "choices". Looking back on my marriage and consequently my divorce, I concluded that it was HIS fault that he made...

Katytexasmom · Katytexasmom

My 19 year old son came around a few weeks ago...he sounded great! He was his old self, not using (no program) and it gave me hope! Then he got with some old friends slid there we go. He really wants to stop....but he's just not ready yet. He wants to go back to school and go into the navy, but this weekend I f...

afglin · afglin

Yesterday on Dr. Oz he had Steven Tyler for a guest. They talked about addiction and recovery. He brought on his doctor from the Betty Ford Center. The doctor has a great book and Steven Tyler wrote the foreword. I ordered it for my Kindle for under $9. I stopped the book I was reading and started it. WO...

hisimage · hisimage

I hope this is okay to post here. I am wanting to change my name. Do I have to create a new account or can I somehow change it?

joker · joker

I had a huge relization yesterday about why I alllow alcoholics and their abusive behaviors into my life. As some of you know I had just left my extremely abusive alcoholic BF that is no in jail for abusing me. I allow abuse as I abuse myself-mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I can na...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

After working my hinder off to get into this RN program and doing my general eds, prerequisettes and sciences up the ying this last year I was finally accepted into the ADN program. I have been on top of the world! Day one was yesterday and if I thought I had worked hard up to now, I am about to prove to myself...

Rose50 · Rose50

Throughout the day, I find myself going back & forth between worry and fear for my son to calm and acceptance. Am I making any progress??

qwerty49 · qwerty49

So after nasty words and arguing for weeks, my alcoholic mum textd me saying she wanted to make friends before i leave so i said i do too, and invited her round for lunch, today she came round & told me how her house was going up for sale on Monday, she's been saying for years she's going to sell the house...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

The pseudo-ex and I texted this morning. I needed his legal advice on something that was bothering me and asked. I told him that I didn't want to talk about anything personal - I just needed his legal opinion on a matter. Since he is the master of self control he was - cool, calm and collected (as much as you...

Jerry F · Jerry F

a thing that I can. I've not done a certain 9th step for a long time because of the caveat "except when to do so would injure them or others" and so up till now I've poke and stabbed at it to see if I can rid myself of the self resentment for what I did a long while ago...before recovery came along...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Going back in time: On August 10th 1 am I let my mom go. I was up before dawn & there were some dark moments & still are. I am just grateful that time has gone by & I am experiencing the dawn in a different way. I feel very poetic these days & tend to share songs & titles that mean very much t...

Bettina · Bettina

There is no change without Action. You can say "This is it Life". Time for me to change this Life. I know I can do it. And then set yourself a plan. There is nothing you cant do if you have HOPE and put this hope into action.

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Today's Reminder " I sit on a man's back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by all possible means -- except by getting off his back." " Teach me to leave to others their inborn right to dignity and indep...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Estranged Family (Preview) I'm not sure where to begin with this. I've been trying to get my alcoholic brother to send my deceased mother's phone book to me but haven't had any luck. I finally gave up on that. I'm not on fb and don't want to be. I've made some attempts to find a few family and friends with whom there hasn't been any c...	tiredtonite	6	544	Sep 15, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Feeling Overwhelmed (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is Slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I woke up this morning feeling very overwhelmed. I feel like I am tackling the world by myself. What triggered this was last night I was over at a friends house and they had just come back from a trip in the states. They kept showing of...	slogan_jim	14	623	Sep 15, 2013 by cwya
	On Trust and Infidelity (Preview) When your trust is betrayed and you become the wife whose A husband was untrue to you by internet porn and phone sex. How did you or do you learn to trust again. Does that innocent trust ever come back again. They say that the unforgiveness of someone is worse on you than the other person. If you have any exp...	oldergal	17	764	Sep 15, 2013 by islandtime
	Digging In (Preview) For almost four years I cannot remember having a good weekend. Starting the same pattern tonight. However, this weekend I will not worry if A is drinking, will not obsess about where he is who he is with. I will not walk on eggshells afraid to piss him off naturally he is mad at me its a given. And you know wh...	mm830	16	543	Sep 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	Hit and Run and recovery (Preview) I was waiting at a stoplight this afternoon. I was rear-ended so hard my vehicle was pushed a few feet forward nearly missing traffic moving at 55 mph to 60 mph. the man who hit me - you guessed it - was high. Tried to convince me my vehicle was fine and to take off. I told him he'd have to stay. I was calli...	grateful2be	26	699	Sep 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	Acceptance and Willingness to Change (Preview) Sometimes the known is easier in my head than the unknown. Interesting how many posts I read here resonate and I don't feel so alone right now. That I am so thankful for this board it is changing my thinking in so many ways. But truthfully I am scared of the unknown and I know that has to do with letting HP tak...	mm830	8	601	Sep 15, 2013 by islandtime
	Happy to go home, sad to go home... (Preview) I'm leaving a city in the Pacific Northwest and going back to my home city right now. I cried a bit when I checked out of the hotel (via the TV- I couldn't let the hotel people see me cry!). I felt so safe in the hotel room all week. I was around 200 coworkers and felt very safe around them too... (Lonely at ti...	goodmonkey	8	502	Sep 15, 2013 by bulebelle
	Hawaii Jerry!!!! (Preview) Hawaii was voted the happiest state in the Union... Must be the Aloha spirit... Do you know that Hawaii has more diversity than any other state and they celebrate their different ethnicities. Imagine , most are mixes of Japanese, Hawaiian, Portugese, Dutch, you would be going to a parade everyday...	Bettina	16	587	Sep 15, 2013 by maryjane
	Chronic pain and higher power (Preview) I have been experiencing abdominal pain for the last 6 weeks, and the doctors so far cannot find anything "wrong." Of course, the pain is still here but no matter what type of stress relief I employ the pain remains.Next is either a medication or for them to look inside my intestine with a ca...	irukan	17	711	Sep 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	wait a minute. (Preview) You make me wanna shot, throw my hands up & shout, wait a minute? I am so grateful for my sense of humor. I don't get to share enough about the funny stuff. I am very serious. I have those moments when I just want to belly laugh. I am so happy that this is a safe place for me to share everything within reason...	Hoot Nanny	4	394	Sep 15, 2013 by hotrod
	My hearts breaking .Alcoholic daughter threating suicide .We can't let her live with us . (Preview) I'm too the point tonight where I feel like I'm sinking .Don't know where to turn .I went to Alanon meetings many years ago for another situation in my life .I know I need to go back .Just need someone to listen now .My beautiful daughter is an alcoholic and so mentally unstable .This has been going on for...	Nancy ANN	18	932	Sep 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	TRADITION 3 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t49437211/tradition-3-alanon/	hotrod	3	953	Sep 14, 2013 by fixitall
	what comes after the courage to leave... (Preview) mm830 and Melly asked me in a recent post to share how I did it. How did I stay away from A after leaving, and after he is the sweetest guy of the universe again, after he hit me the last time we actually met...? it is hard,and I didn't do it out of full conviction. Many doubts were there, some still come back fr...	tortuga	9	449	Sep 14, 2013 by Melly1248
	getting away from other bad people too (Preview) Well it seems now that I have flung open the door, I'm kicking a few asses out of it. People that are not worthy of my friendship, or time. I thought I was friends with a couple of women, but the more I got to know them, I realized they were awful mean spirited, gossiping, back stabbing, b***. I go to a gym se...	islandtime	10	603	Sep 14, 2013 by lgnutah
	slogans, quotes & sayings on my cell phone! (Preview) I am so grateful for my cell phone these days. It does more for me than I realized. I used to almost hate it because it is touch screen & I almost always seem to touch the wrong thing. But, not these days! I am so glad that I can record like on a tape recorder my favorite songs & all. I couldn't possibly...	Hoot Nanny	5	2215	Sep 14, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Value (Preview) "Your Value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your Worth." Unk	Bettina	5	354	Sep 14, 2013 by neshema2
	Believing in the future (Preview) My husband started drinking about 8 years ago. It was not all the time, day in and day out, but he drank. He has quit before and I always felt wow, okay, we can go on. But, it did not last long. I finally told him two months ago I could not do this anymore and that he would have to leave. He was gone for 4 days...	Jen61	5	423	Sep 14, 2013 by neshema2
	Woke up to see the fog is gone (Preview) Something happen this morning I felt odd different I think it has something to do with last night I made a hole in a shoe box and labeled it ms negativity . I looked at my self in my photos I take lots of and when I see that girl I'n the photo I seen some one other than me . I saw this girl lost but not ugly or stupid d...	Ms co-dependent	7	542	Sep 13, 2013 by neshema2
	Hurting people hurt people (Not a new revelation) (Preview) This is why I love my MIP family! You all so gently reminded me that hurting people hurt people and since a few of my new found friends are not in a recovery program I am noticing that they could probably use one. I know I have no control over them and maybe need to lower my expectations and just study with the...	Breakingfree	6	450	Sep 14, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	OH BOY (Preview) I knew I would have ups and downs. Well the down came again. I got a call from my son's landlord and my son is drunk, has been for days and his landlord wants him out. I told him I can't do anything about it, he will have to call the police and whatever he needs to do. Now my anxiety has jumped up. I am doing al...	Cathyinaz	21	552	Sep 14, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	CHOICES (Preview) "Choices relating to one's partner, the balance between work & leisure time, participation in social activities, and healthy lifestyle are key factors in determining life satisfaction." (LiveHappy.com)	Bettina	1	564	Sep 14, 2013 by tortuga
	Today's Reminder (Preview) " Our greatest handicap is self-deception. We cannot recognize in ourselves the faults we criticize in others. If I could only foresee what an inspiring experience it is to search out the real me. I would not hesitate. The first step, after all, is to be completely honest in our search. "...	Bettina	11	432	Sep 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	Starting a fight to drink (Preview) Oh my goodness - I NEVER realise until its too late when he picks a fight and I get caught up trying to defend myself and then he's out the door with an excuse/reason to drink. So tired of this.	Growing77	13	570	Sep 13, 2013 by Bettina
	Today I Vow... (Preview) To go home to my A with love. I will not resent him for his past mistakes, I will not blame him for mine. I will not inquire as to his use, I will not pry, as it is his business and not mine. I will not expect anything from him, as expectations are only upon myself. I will not worry, I will not feel anger, I will not...	faith84	4	332	Sep 13, 2013 by Bettina
	Java still down?: (Preview) Again I tried to get into the chatroom so I could attend the meetings. The java is not working. I sure hope it gets fixed. When I get the time I love to attend the meetings. LIN	afglin	2	202	Sep 13, 2013 by afglin
	You know I work hard to build people up and many others really don't! (Preview) I get so mad when I work very hard to build these girls up in the nursing program that I am in and I work really hard at making them feel like they can do it! And every once in awhile they zing me with some stupid thing they say and it just pisses me off! I don't need to be brought down and I am unsure how to approach...	Breakingfree	9	469	Sep 13, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	I heard from my son (Preview) I got a phone call this afternoon from my son. He is in the hospital (yet again). He told me he was having a panic attack and heart palpitations on Sunday and a roommate called 911. My suspicion is that he was drinking again. He can't handle stress and with being jobless and still waiting for his unemploym...	Rose50	11	529	Sep 13, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	he is fighting in writing to get me back, and I am struggling to detach.... (Preview) got email from A.... finally he is expressing all his feelings of gratitude towards the past... about the good times. I feel guilty now for being so distant, not taking the time to talk to him. I read the post about abuse cycle, and they also make sense. and the sentence : when in doubt, don't. am really...	tortuga	14	428	Sep 13, 2013 by goodmonkey
	this is NOT about my A's or NA's but it IS a WOWZA step 4 revelation (Preview) I know this is off topic and you guys will probably scroll and "dumpster it" but thats OK...I think breakthroughs even if off topic should be shared......Who knows??? Someone new just MIGHT be able to relate to this.............. I shared this on another board and it really woke up some f...	neshema2	28	769	Sep 13, 2013 by goodmonkey
	i give up i do not want to live (Preview) i surrender i give up , im emtoinal broken down. i cant think of a reason to stay here . im dont fighting with my A , to many hurtful words were tossed theres no recovery from what we both said. im to sick to get help, im so confused and he sits there and smirks and tells me how sick and twisted my mind is. i w...	Ms co-dependent	19	2310	Sep 13, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	First Al Anon Meeting Last Night (Preview) So, after enduring four years of living and overly loving a heroin addict, I FINALLY got myself to an Al Anon meeting last night. No matter how much literature I've read on the disease and codependency, no matter how many therapy sessions I have had with both my therapist and my friends and family, fo...	faith84	7	500	Sep 13, 2013 by DavidG
	What have I missed? (Preview) This morning, a beautifully clear and sunny day in my locale, I went outside to my garden where I noticed a lone pink cone flower amidst the others that have all bloomed and turned brown and hard. I noticed a lump of something in the center of it. I walked closer to investigate. It was an iridescent gr...	grateful2be	9	465	Sep 13, 2013 by grateful2be
	I'm here because I want healing! (Preview) I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my own illness. I wouldn't come here if I didn't want to learn about myself and how to accept and love all about me. I wouldn't come back here, if I wasn't tired of being victimized due to my own weaknesses. I wouldn't have found this place if I didn't notice something was...	tortuga	9	445	Sep 13, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Amend to Grateful (Preview) I made a statement on my thread about its not being about the A's and N'a and Grateful picked up on a salient point about the lady asking one of my responsdees about the book being laid upon the sidewalk I posted that I had noticed it but did not want to open my "big mouth" MEANING that I sometimes...	neshema2	10	605	Sep 12, 2013 by neshema2
	Paranoid (Preview) I'm sorry for any mistakes I make with this post. This is my first time here and also the first time I ever talk about my son's problem with someone else. My son has been battling alcoholism for 8 years now. He's been to rehab twice, tried to commit suicide more times than I dare to remember and every now an...	yvettek	5	514	Sep 12, 2013 by grateful2be
	Revelation (Preview) Good Morning I need to say a little about getting in the last word, trying to explain, or answering emails, texts even phone calls. I just don't know why I had to do these things. WHY?? A fellow member finally got it though my head I can let go and I will be OK. To continue to try and explain, fix or ge...	Cathyinaz	14	644	Sep 12, 2013 by Pushka
	November is coming to soon.. Don't know how to feel.. (Preview) Well my son has now been in rehab for 4 months and 1 day. He completes his 6 months of sobriety by choice in November. I still am not exactly where I want to be in my recovery. His Sponser has been working with me on the letting go letting god. As his pastor would say "your son needs to man up" face th...	Gaby	5	384	Sep 12, 2013 by bud
	His dad is his greatest enabler! (Preview) My son keeps runnIng to his dads. His dad has no rules, no insight And hes never there. He buys our 19 year old beer and smokes pot with him. He sent me a message that says our son knows he has a problem, and we just need to encourage him right now....he needs encouragement. What he means by that is he wants us (...	Katytexasmom	3	414	Sep 12, 2013 by Ness
	Insanity again - new username too (Preview) I've been away from al-Anon for almost 3 years. at the same time i've been in a relationship with a man, who's not an addict. BUT he's a rageoholic, a victim of domestic violence as a kid (both getting beaten and witnessing his mom getting beaten) and grew up in a war-zone city in another part of the worl...	goodmonkey	10	441	Sep 12, 2013 by Jerry F
	sponsors (Preview) Last night at my F2F meeting, the topic was sponsorship. Throughout the years, I have heard people in recovery talk about their "meetings" and their "sponsors" like they were way too important. Now that I have accepted recovery as a very important part of my life, I get it. S...	Lyne	6	455	Sep 12, 2013 by neshema2
	Today's reminder (Preview) " When will I realize that I need not permit the alcoholics behavior to confuse my life and destroy my peace of mind? When will I learn that there is no compulsion, in law or ethics, that forces me to accept humiliation, uncertainty and despair. Have I perhaps accepted it because I have a subconsci...	Bettina	8	598	Sep 12, 2013 by Melly1248
	Letting Go of "Mama Drama" (Preview) This past weekend, I decided to accept my friends' invitation to go camping at a mountain camping site that my family used to go to when our kids were in school. At first, I was concerned that going back there would bring back some uncomfortable feelings. This was a place where memories were created for...	Green Eyes	5	442	Sep 12, 2013 by grateful2be
	A gift, from Alanon... (Preview) The greatest gift Alanon offers us is Lois, and each and every one of us... and each one of us matters so much, so please keep coming back. In 2011 A*** and I took a train north of New York and came to the woodland town where Lois Bill and hundreds...	DavidG	5	697	Sep 12, 2013 by Rose50
	I was shutdown (Preview) For the last 2 years, I have been shut down, lights out, nobodys home...... to the point of hardly speaking a word to my AH, not looking at him, and in general acting like he didn't exist. This was not something I was doing on purpose, It just happened. When I did talk, it was sharp and mean, and critical...	islandtime	7	472	Sep 11, 2013 by islandtime
	Something to ponder (Preview) "Don't miss this. Don't miss your life. There's infinitely more than the experience of love we already know. Push against your borders. Dare to move through the next threshold to the freedom awaiting you." (Paula D'Arcy)	grateful2be	10	461	Sep 11, 2013 by PP
	That whole saying if nothing changes .. (Preview) I love that saying if nothing changes .. well .. nothing changes .. in seeing the STBAX on Sunday night as weird and intense as that reaction was it really goes to show me how much things in my little world have changed .. my world is not so little. Those who are struggling through their own situations and...	Pushka	4	485	Sep 11, 2013 by PP
	Understanding that abuse cycle. (Preview) Just been reading recent posts about the abuse cycle. I reckon, we can't post about that nasty old abuse cycle often enough, when someone mentions living with abuse. I didn't understand it for years, I just got sucked in again and again. But the more you understand it, the more obvious it all becomes an...	Melly1248	36	812	Sep 11, 2013 by sweeetr
	Permission (Preview) Alanon has helped me alot, combined with all the self-help books I have read, first hand experience and I think age too I have come to a few conclusions....no matter what I have "choices". Looking back on my marriage and consequently my divorce, I concluded that it was HIS fault that he made...	oldergal	4	376	Sep 11, 2013 by RunnerChick
	I was going to let him move back home (Preview) My 19 year old son came around a few weeks ago...he sounded great! He was his old self, not using (no program) and it gave me hope! Then he got with some old friends slid there we go. He really wants to stop....but he's just not ready yet. He wants to go back to school and go into the navy, but this weekend I f...	Katytexasmom	13	686	Sep 11, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	great book (Preview) Yesterday on Dr. Oz he had Steven Tyler for a guest. They talked about addiction and recovery. He brought on his doctor from the Betty Ford Center. The doctor has a great book and Steven Tyler wrote the foreword. I ordered it for my Kindle for under $9. I stopped the book I was reading and started it. WO...	afglin	1	270	Sep 11, 2013 by bud
	Name change (Preview) I hope this is okay to post here. I am wanting to change my name. Do I have to create a new account or can I somehow change it?	hisimage	2	314	Sep 11, 2013 by newlease93
	Awareness about love (Preview) I had a huge relization yesterday about why I alllow alcoholics and their abusive behaviors into my life. As some of you know I had just left my extremely abusive alcoholic BF that is no in jail for abusing me. I allow abuse as I abuse myself-mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I can na...	joker	3	342	Sep 10, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	This whole schooling thing just got very real! It'a all in my head! (Preview) After working my hinder off to get into this RN program and doing my general eds, prerequisettes and sciences up the ying this last year I was finally accepted into the ADN program. I have been on top of the world! Day one was yesterday and if I thought I had worked hard up to now, I am about to prove to myself...	Breakingfree	11	443	Sep 10, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Back and forth - between fear and acceptance (Preview) Throughout the day, I find myself going back & forth between worry and fear for my son to calm and acceptance. Am I making any progress??	Rose50	3	349	Sep 11, 2013 by neshema2
	From Changing my number to making 'friends' (Preview) So after nasty words and arguing for weeks, my alcoholic mum textd me saying she wanted to make friends before i leave so i said i do too, and invited her round for lunch, today she came round & told me how her house was going up for sale on Monday, she's been saying for years she's going to sell the house...	qwerty49	2	415	Sep 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	Posting So I Don't Text (Preview) The pseudo-ex and I texted this morning. I needed his legal advice on something that was bothering me and asked. I told him that I didn't want to talk about anything personal - I just needed his legal opinion on a matter. Since he is the master of self control he was - cool, calm and collected (as much as you...	RunnerChick	11	581	Sep 11, 2013 by canadianguy
	The courage to change... (Preview) a thing that I can. I've not done a certain 9th step for a long time because of the caveat "except when to do so would injure them or others" and so up till now I've poke and stabbed at it to see if I can rid myself of the self resentment for what I did a long while ago...before recovery came along...	Jerry F	10	512	Sep 11, 2013 by Jerry F
	it is always darkest before the dawn... (Preview) Going back in time: On August 10th 1 am I let my mom go. I was up before dawn & there were some dark moments & still are. I am just grateful that time has gone by & I am experiencing the dawn in a different way. I feel very poetic these days & tend to share songs & titles that mean very much t...	Hoot Nanny	2	384	Sep 10, 2013 by DavidG
	My thoughts, Hope Changes Everything! (Preview) There is no change without Action. You can say "This is it Life". Time for me to change this Life. I know I can do it. And then set yourself a plan. There is nothing you cant do if you have HOPE and put this hope into action.	Bettina	7	369	Sep 10, 2013 by PP
	This one hit home ODAT September 6th (Preview) Today's Reminder " I sit on a man's back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by all possible means -- except by getting off his back." " Teach me to leave to others their inborn right to dignity and indep...	Cathyinaz	3	325	Sep 10, 2013 by Rose50
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.