This past weekend, I decided to accept my friends' invitation to go camping at a mountain camping site that my family used to go to when our kids were in school. At first, I was concerned that going back there would bring back some uncomfortable feelings. This was a place where memories were created for our family, both good and bad. When my AH had too much to drink on our trips there, things could go south very quickly. His behavior would become very unpredictable. This was in my pre-Al-Anon days, so in those days, I would either argue with him or try to bargain with him ("If you just drink at night, I won't say anything about it, but if you drink all day, I won't talk to you for the rest of our trip."). My kids now refer to this as "Mama Drama." And I thrived on the drama, believe me. It was better to be preoccupied with the drama than to face the reality of what was really going on in my life.

Fast forward to this past weekend: Once I faced the demons of the past, I was able to enjoy being out in nature and to just relax and not feel like I needed to be in control of anything or anyone (except for myself). It was such a freeing experience. I felt so connected to my HP during this trip- the distractions were gone. I really had a wonderful weekend and it was hard to have to go back to reality on Monday. I even joked with my friends who I camped with that there was something missing that weekend. They looked at me with concern and then I told them, "There was no drama. What's up with that?". We all had a good laugh over that after I told them that my past visits to that campsite were almost always full of drama once the "crazy train pulled into the station." It was nice to know that I could go back there and experience healing instead of hurt and "Mama Drama." It works when you work it.