The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Obviously there is a difference between arguing discussing & just stating a fact! I am tired of my AH not letting it go. He thinks that every time we discuss something or I stand up for myself we are arguing. I am so tired of this. His first wife seemed to have argued w/ him a lot because he freaks out when we argue at all. I can't stand arguing w/ him either but really w/o yelling we are actually just discussing our differences of opinion. Do you all know what I am saying. I feel that I am stating exactly what I feel. Do I have a right to question or wonder if I am doing the right thing?
Yep, everything you say is an argument. That you started. And you're just like his first wife. She wanted to argue all the time too. All you want to do is argue. Welcome to alanon.
I guess you get to step back and look at yourself with an open mind. Ask yourself what part you're playing and if maybe you are pushing or not.
I agree with what Melly's saying. With an active A, everything is always someone else's fault.
I just know that I was able to handle the A's criticism better if I was willing to ask myself if in fact maybe I was causing a problem. Maybe my part in the whole thing was stating my opinion and expecting the A to magically agree with me when in the past he has never EVER agreed with me before.
Always opportunities abound to change my dance with the A.
Nope, I can't have an opinion either unless it is his opinion. I will have it pointed out to me where I am wrong. And he always has to let me know I am stupid for thinking what I think. On Sunday we went out for breakfast with another couple (not alcoholic) and the husband of that couple actually agreed with me. Ahhhhh, fresh breath of air......
