A good share Lynn. I had a great sponsor coming through. Hubby co-sponsored me, really. I was not ready to trust a male but he had a way of 'getting under the radar'.

This my own ESH, and observation. I think the middle steps require a sponsor, or a much trusted friend and advisor. But I also think that steps one, two and three can be done in the Alanon group. To learn to identify. And also to select a sponsor who has demonstrated that they themselves have done the middle steps.

Take care-

-D.

Amen Lynn!

And when you become anothers sponsor...you will understand even more:)

What a privilege & an honor! I am very blessed!

Thank you for posting this, LOVE IT:) 

I was amazed to hear the other shares about their sponsors and how much this relationship has helped them.  It's a relationship you can only understand by living it.  And all these sponsors do their service expecting nothing in return.  It's truly amazing.  Lyne

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This is gonna sound totally weird, but my second sponsor was the FIRST,  REALLY intimate relationship that I had as far as out side of my  "very tight inner circle" which comprises of my two girlhood friends, best friends, my cousin, and my adopted sisters......those folks were and are  my intimate circle....no worries being "open" with them b/c they had my trust

my sponsor, at first was relatively new......the trust and intimacy had to grow and it did over time as I am slow...However her being a long time coda, I felt like "ok, she sponsors folks and seems to be well thought of, so lets give it a go" ....

we became close...even better than my first sponsor who was a male.....we shared everything...we even shared about our prev. marriages..., I mean it was a very close relationship and she was a "step aholic and a fam. of origin work fan"  also big into the slogans and the literature, and not just CAL approved, but ANYthing that dealt with inner child reconstruction books and of course books by noted authors how to manage my ptsd and the child abuse...she was also an abuse survivor and so we had lots in common...she could relate to my fears, my pain and my lack of trust.....she was big in the things that were important  and a huge impact on my recovery....Life was Great with her  UNTIL.............

she shared my secrets to another sponsee of hers and her other sponsee's stuff w/me...that was a big red flag when she began telling me stuff about "C" , a lady I had befriended.....well "C" and I just happend to compare notes...dont' aske me how it started, but it did......talk about the two of us being  shattered...OMG.....we both called her out about it and of course we got denials, but we had the EVIDENCE....the emails, and stuff......

the end result was we dumped her and she later got cancer....we both said we would pray for her, but at a healthy and safe distance....we felt violated...betrayal at its worst....   we both were absolutely devastated by what she did to us and we wanted nothing further to do w/her.....she had her family and her friends, she had support and so we were not there for her when she became ill....we both were nice to her, when she wold call, but neither of us stayed on the phone with her, it was basically, "I will pray for you" and then we would get off ASAP... We wished her well, but she was never gonna get close enough to us to repeat.....

so sad....That experience really kinda set me back re: trust AGAIN....so now I just have recovery mates and my friend of 30 plus years, who is an AA'r and a good recovery Stepper and also into fam. of origin work...She works a strong program, and now I am in program , too, so we work together and there is no issues of trust w/her b/c we go back far and also time after time we have proven ourselves to each other...I remember when she got into AA....I wasn't ready yet, but she got in in the late 80's...been working program since.....and sober...shes a former police detective so shes been there..done that.....

Anyway, that is my thing on sponsors....they are human....however to me to be a sponsor is sacrosanct.....it is reprehensible to betray a sponsee...there is never any justification for it....I have been asked to sponsor folks.....I have taken some on, if they really want to work their stuff and work it hard, but I also turn down folks if I don't see that we match....but NEVER  EVER  do I or have I shared anyone elses confidences in me, be it sponsor - sponsee  or  friend to friend  or recovery mate to recovery mate....or whatever the relationship is.......it is just UNCOOL to betray a person's confidences..... 

sorry I rambled on so....i guess it still gives me a "twinge' to think of her airing all my "stuff"  out there in the wind for all to see....my other friend and I are still tight and I know for a fact that she will never ever trust another sponsor, so we email each other and co-share w/each other....