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No such thing as patterns?
(Preview)
Hi all, I've not posted for a while, but have been keeping up with everyone. I've been working really hard on my program & going to meetings when I can. AH has been better lately, or maybe I've been better at detaching, either way for the most part I have found some serenity. But in the course of trying...
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Tash2
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6
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666
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HUGE relapse tonight.
(Preview)
Well tonight was the worst night ever. Huge violent relapse. I am numb alone in bed with my son and he is drunk passed out on the floor. all because my family is sick of his bs. And so am I, he asks like he walks on water. I hold all the stress and wait. He works and comes home. I work. I am a mom. I am the house mom. I...
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Meehan512
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8
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523
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New here....where to start?
(Preview)
Hi it's my first time on this board. My husband of 10 years drinks heavily and it is becoming intolerable. We have 2 children aged 9 & 6 and it is starting to impact in their lives. Mostly through our rows about his drinking but also he is now often drunk in front of them. The problem is, he is what you mi...
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BS4MR
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8
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380
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I think my old mate has isolated
(Preview)
I sorta suspected that my BFF would "go under" her daughter is with her, i know for fact, even tho i get VM when i check up on them, she is there but she doesn't answer the phone...... Nothing I can do but wait till "S" feels like talking...she isolates when severely hit with someth...
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neshema2
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5
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489
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grateful challenge SUNDAY
(Preview)
Ok this week wasn't such a happy one, but nevertheless i still can find things to be grateful for I am grateful that the weather is still nice my kids and dogs are healthy I am healthy and this strap i have for my tennis elbow is enabling me to use my left arm Daughter #2 and i are getting on fine and are seeing q...
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neshema2
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0
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221
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Choices.
(Preview)
I need to stop thinking of myself as a helpless passenger and remember, my choices brought me here. The journey isn't done and we're kind of in the woods now but that's OK, I'm still in motion. I chose not to continue being a victim or a life support system to A's disease. I chose not to keep sleeping with s...
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missmeliss
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14
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778
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Making progress...I think!
(Preview)
AH had a business meeting at church tonight. I was going anyway, so I picked him up and we went together. For the first time ever I was not worried about the smell of alcohol or his red eyes or slurring words...I had no anxiety about him or the state he was in...i owned "me" and let him be "hi...
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Fairlee
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8
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471
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it is okay to be me.
(Preview)
I was struggling w/ my identity for so long thinking who am I? I am just a soul getting through life on a wing & a prayer. I am sometimes confused & feel like I am not quite there. But as someone says in a meeting, I am here because I am not all there. I am not afraid as much as I was. Still crowds of people...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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384
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"For old times sake" just does not work anymore
(Preview)
Once upon a time I had a very good recovery friend, was on his recovery site for a long time, we were like a little family...My first taste of aca and alanon and i grew to love many members, especially this guy and an older guy who founded the site with him...We did some great recovery work together...I cut...
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neshema2
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13
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502
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Trying to let go/let god
(Preview)
Why is it so hard to let go? My dry ah has been gone for three months and my pain is still so fresh. Now we are getting into the financials and he is playing games. Holding out his checks but using our funds to pay his helper. Not the behavior of someone that wants to go to mediation with me. We have no children...
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Mirandac
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5
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471
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I messed up .. UGH ..
(Preview)
Apparently I like big messes in my life .. for once I don't want to get into detail .. just please say some prayers for the kids and I .. it's all going to be ok .. I just am not sure how it's all going to turn out and it's not good .. I'm not going to minimize it .. it is what it is and I will have to face the consequenc...
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SerenityRUS
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12
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583
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new
(Preview)
My divorce is going to happen my exAH is paying for it. He wants to marry the 24 yr old at our church back home...lol I wished him the best of luck and told him I hope he has a nice life. Their isn't much I can or want to say. I have adjusted well to my new town and job :) I have been dating this one man for a couple of w...
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texasgal
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9
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377
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Something I wanted to share
(Preview)
is this beautiful or what??? when i doubt there may be a HP or universal power most high, and i see something like this...... may HP of each person's understanding bless and nurture and protect this group and all its brothers and sisters from any enemies that hold us back from releasing and enjoying th...
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neshema2
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10
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2434
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Job Choices
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
Not sure how related this is to Alanon but - probably one of the biggest amends I made to myself when getting sober was obtaining my professional license that allowed me to get better jobs with higher pay. Since being licensed, I have literally worked at 4 different places. I have been licensed since...
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pinkchip
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52
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1300
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slogan THINK
(Preview)
the topic in our meeting last night was think. I can tend to over think obsess. Yet sometimes I react rather than THINK and respond. My mind is a dangerous place to go alone. ( better to ring an al anon friend and reason something out). before al anon my thinking was stinking it still can today but my al anon...
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Tracy
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5
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362
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She's Pretending She Cares about Me
(Preview)
OK so it's the first day back at work since giving my resignation. I just want to keep my serenity, get through the next two weeks and just get out. I'm just trying to mind my own business until I go. So this woman who is the head of the department I'm assigned to comes to my desk. She got in my face for no real...
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tiredtonite
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16
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770
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Home
(Preview)
Home from the hospital....it went really well. Have my big boot beside the bed.....and now I'm going to sleep a little. See ya later ((( hugs )))
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Cathyinaz
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15
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323
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A friend passed
(Preview)
one of my two BFF's since girlhood had a sister whom i really really liked....when the abuse from older brother (whom I dissociated from) got real bad with his getting drunk and kicking in my little apartment door, and I couldn't stay w/ "S", my buddy, her big sister, Janet, always took me i...
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neshema2
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10
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403
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The Envy Of Happy People
(Preview)
How do you work through this issue; the constant envy of people who are happy? I see couples my age or older, happily married and enjoying each other's company. The Facebook posts about how their spouse is their best friend and they couldn't imagine life without them. And I sit here completely alon...
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Spur
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28
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1127
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Quick question
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I am ready to file for divorce! I am so DONE! I'm not going to rehash the past so I'm just going to say this has been my prayer this week, "God, I am done. I cannot continue to live like this anymore. If you have different plans for me, please show me a sign, speak to me, and tell me otherwise. But, fo...
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andromeda
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43
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885
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Need to talk to someone.
(Preview)
Hi. I have been reading here everyday but not participating much, just concentrating really hard on myself now that STBX is preparing to leave. We have 15 more days to go and it seems ages! Times always fly but since he decided to move and (I) found accommodation for him, the time seems to be passing slow...
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Luiza
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8
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553
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Feeling scared about leaving kids with the AH
(Preview)
UGH--I come back to this fear again and again. my (separated) AH is on probation...he claims he has been sober for about 10 months and I finally finally finally let my kids go to his apartment (after 3 years of not letting them go there....) I am so paranoid...he seemed a LITTLE off today--mannerisms an...
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sookie
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18
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525
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detachment and NON engaging
(Preview)
hey all this am I go to the "lion's den" and i am smiling, "good mornings" and i am holding my tendonitis arm and wife asks me "you hurt your arm???" I says, "yea, my grandson thinks i am a tree and i pick him up wrong and i pulled a tendon in my arm" (not lying...
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neshema2
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3
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316
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Hellooo
(Preview)
I'm at school today. I managed to negotiate an extra week now, by saying that I cant get the place emptied or cleaned unless I have a little extra time. So now I have to pay for it but it has eased the pressure a bit. So today I decided to come to class even though I have missed 2 weeks and haven't submitted any a...
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missmeliss
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10
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548
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HALT- Using my Al-Anon Toolbox
(Preview)
For some unknown reason, yesterday I felt like a dark cloud was hovering above me and following me throughout the day. It was just one of those days where I just had the blues, I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so down. When I got home from a long day at work, I started thinking about what might be causi...
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Green Eyes
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8
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868
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Returning to a classroom
(Preview)
More than a year ago, I posted a thread on a horrible experience I had had with an oral surgeon and the need to return to my dentist for more painful work on a molar the surgeon had broken while I was under and discovered later at home when the Novocain and sedatives wore off and I removed the gauze from my mou...
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grateful2be
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9
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488
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A new chapter or not?
(Preview)
My ex A has been trying really hard to make up for what happened the other week when he lost his temper. He even apologised to our grandson which shocked me. He didn't apologise to me because he thinks that if I didn't play into the drama it would not have turned into a melodrama. I don't buy that of course, a...
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rainbow
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8
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513
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Not my circus.
(Preview)
Messages from Mother today. It's not very good that I am "making" my daughter leave her school and all her friends, she needs stability. And do I realise she has to leave her youth group too, the poor kid, its so unfair for her and so on. The stuff about how she hopes I don't plan on staying ther...
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missmeliss
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10
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557
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Feeling Sad and Down and Alone. And I Rarely Have "Bad Days"
(Preview)
I've posted here before but it was once and has been quite some time ago. Just got back from a very short road trip to visit a new guy who lives two hours away. He's moving to LA in a few weeks. We're only friends at this point (2nd date, really) and I got back this morning after staying there for two nights....
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Tiff314
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5
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241
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ive been away too long
(Preview)
Hi all. . Im checking in and updating. Ive been away from here far too long. The summer went better than usual. . Nit sure why. . Ah is still drinkng as ever, i am not. Im still raising our daughter pretty much alone guess the biggest difference was the lack of fighting. Thats good and all but i think its bexa...
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Theoceancalls
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7
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334
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intro
(Preview)
New here, and as the name states, overwhelmed! in a relationship with my A for 4 years now. I guess as it stands I cant take any more. I've had it all: theft from me and my family, a refusal on his part to find work, complaints i don't trust him (ha) in and out of detox, rehab and courts. verbal abuse. blame for...
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overwhelmed1982
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4
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265
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you can teach old dogs new tricks
(Preview)
I am pleased to report some progress. Today my A was supposed to have a physical with her doc. She is at a life threatening weight and sleeps about 12-14 hrs per night whenever possible. (Could be the alcohol but she doesn't have a drinking problem.) She told me what time she planned to get up but did n...
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Lyne
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5
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455
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Praying hard!
(Preview)
So my brother is a recovered addict sober 1.5 years after 10 years of using he is 25. His drug use left him mentally disabled. This is my hugest loss. My brother is a shell of what he once was. He is bipolar psychotic now, and goes through long periods of psychosis where he can't handle much. My parent...
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Sam813
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12
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545
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Tomorrow, I see what lessons I learned
(Preview)
Hi alanoners Tomorrow I go back to the job where the boss thinks I am not a mom....I will go with a smile on my face...if wifey asks me what i did over weekend, i will proudly say i hung out w/my daughter and leave it at that..nothing more.......if the jerk says anything , I will say "i give respect and...
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neshema2
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4
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434
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Forgiveness
(Preview)
Today's C2C reading encourages us to forgive rather than to hang on to old hurts, bitterness, resentments. As I progressed in the program, I learned that I reinjured myself by nursing memories of things I'd done that hurt myself and others or what others had done in relationship to me. The actual ev...
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grateful2be
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32
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717
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I'M DIVORCED!!!!
(Preview)
I'm divorced, .. I'm divorced, .. I'm divorced .. I'm divorced and yes .. LOL .. It was seriously touch and go until the last second!!! Hugs S :)
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SerenityRUS
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21
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658
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Priceless Peace
(Preview)
Right now, in this moment and for the last few months I have lived in peace.My home is so quiet and peaceful, if you ignore the fact I live right next to a main road that is. I hope i haven't jinxed it. Just being able to relax and not be tense waiting on the next crisis to hit or the next argument to erupt. I have...
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el-cee
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6
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475
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A good and bad day
(Preview)
My day started off great I've started a class sorta like a 12 step class we as a group talk about and learn things dealing with the steps very enjoyable,now for the bad day part I had a slip I guess u might call it my xabf kept texting to come over and visit with my dog that he always loved so much,bad bad thing f...
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lookingup
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5
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329
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An Amends That Went Very, Very Sideways
(Preview)
Hello family!Have I got a story for you! Almost a week into the process of making her amends, my A fiancé finally made her way around to me. I didn't expect to be the first one she made amends to, but I was surprised that I wasn't, since I've been told you should do the amends you are most nervous about first,...
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Advocate_For_Steve
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13
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669
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Whats to like about Autumn?
(Preview)
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el-cee
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14
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501
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Am I unreasonable?
(Preview)
I'm new to this forum and I guess I need to get advice, ask if I'm crazy and maybe vent a little My husband of 7 years is a chronic binge drinker. He cannot enjoy a social situation without alcohol and when he starts drinking he can't stop...one glass quickly becomes 2 bottles and it's not slowly sipped, bu...
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Mich
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8
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496
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New and need help
(Preview)
Hello all... I'm not quite sure where to begin. My sister (38 years old) is an alcoholic. She was diagnosed with cirrhosis back in October 2011. She developed a very rare immune disease and almost lost her life. My parents lived out of town part time and I found myself taking my sister back and fort...
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kjfro21
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7
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436
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He is a WHOLE ..
(Preview)
LOT crazier than I realized .. I was concerned over a marital settlement I received from my atty on Monday evening. I am beyond the pail at the moment. I'm not sure who is worse .. him or his atty. Literally I got the settlement sent her back a WTH is this not so blatant .. LOL .. however she called me yeste...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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498
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Oh MY!!! I need to consider the source and let it go
(Preview)
I read a post from Ralph Marston and here is an excerpt that I needed to read "If you're constantly worried about how you appear to others, you won't appear in a very good light. It's ridiculously easy to let go of that worry when you remind yourself how useless and counterproductive it really is. ...
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neshema2
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24
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505
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Progress
(Preview)
So hard to believe that 3 years have gone by! It was around this time 3 years ago that I found this board and I was encouraged to get myself to a meeting! So glad I followed through on that suggestion! At that time I was newly married and I was struggling with some serious anger and resentment over the situat...
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Jackie11
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3
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357
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A little over 24 hours to go ..
(Preview)
And I just want to say thank you .. please keep the prayers coming because my STBAX is in desperate mode NOT to let go. He just wants to be tied to both myself and the kids it's completely weird to me. I don't know why .. well actually I think I do as long as he can blame me he can continue to remain where he is. ...
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SerenityRUS
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12
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465
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Cease cherishing opinions
(Preview)
This morning I was watching a short piece on what was an archeological find of a man's skeleton that is 9,000 years old on North American soil. After study of the skeleton, it appears this person came from somewhere in Asia by boat rather than on foot from another location higher up from Northern Ameri...
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grateful2be
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12
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572
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Boundaries
(Preview)
Can anyone recommend any good information on boundaries? (books or articles) I am very weak in this area and need some good information. Thanks!
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Fairlee
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2
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253
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know the drill
(Preview)
My A spouse is being very nice. She tells me she loves me and most of the time I can't answer back. She thinks because she is not drinking, at least not that I know of, that everything is fine. No matter how many times I tell her she is a train wreck waiting to happen, she doesn't get it, and maybe will never...
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Lyne
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3
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406
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Update
(Preview)
I am not sure the last time I was here; but the last month plus has been quite busy. A few times I tried to come on but couldn't get my password in and wasn't able to get a password help and was limited on time so gave up, then those days turned to weeks and the weeks..... At the end of August I left my A heading t...
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blessed
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5
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403
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Constantly Crying
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I can't stop. It's been a week since he left me for other woman. I can't get past it. I cry all day and night. I'm trying to work but I can barely do that either. I'm a teacher and all I'm doing is crying. How can I teach like this? I can't or shouldn't. I wouldn't want my kid in a classroom with a crying te...
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Hullibee
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54
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1069
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His/Hers Recovery
(Preview)
Tens days in, and this has been really frickin' scary. A's non-drinking was going really well, no big cravings, some sweats, but overall better than expected. Then he started hallucinating. Minor, at first, but then it got so bad that he couldn't sleep. I never felt like I was in any danger, but it...
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SpiderArcana
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7
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551
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30 day chip and other blather
(Preview)
AH Called this week. He received his 30 day chip. My response wasn't supportive, nor was it non supportive. My feeling is that of the fact he's been a damn drunk for 12 years, and while yes, everyone must start somewhere, I cannot be proud of a 30 day sobriety. especially since I know it's because he's...
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Collateral Damage
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8
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8085
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New, need help. I keep finding hidden bottles of beer and liq. home, cars, now my son found one
(Preview)
Afternoon... I dont know what to do, my husband has a drinking problem, and I have tried everything. We go to church for a 12 step program ( we just started) he isnt drinking in the home with us. He is full of rage, but every day, and I mean every day I find small bottles hidden, and then I found a beer in his wor...
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Meehan512
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17
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606
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The wailing and wringing of hands...
(Preview)
Another rejected house application today. At this point I don't even understand why; the house was cheap, run down, I asked the agent if she could please give me an indication of why and she said...as they all keep saying "Oh I don't have that information. We just give the details to the landlord a...
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missmeliss
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32
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885
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Personal Responsibility .. (vent and some recovery stuff .. LOL)
(Preview)
It's kind of crazy right now and it's all hitting at the same time obviously .. I'm going to say it .. LOL .. 2 more days .. woot woot!!! I'm over the moon as this is the closest I have been to being free from the controlling chaos that has reigned and I allowed to reign over the last 17 years of my life. My daug...
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SerenityRUS
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7
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484
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I don't know where I am going...
(Preview)
But I sure know where I have been. I am a survivor. I have tools to deal w/ my anxiety. I am a winner not a loser. I have hope & serenity. I am not junk. People like me. I am a friend to some who really don't have any. People can count on me. No matter the weather you can let the sun shine in your life. I am in it fo...
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Hoot Nanny
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10
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741
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Hi Gang
(Preview)
Well how is everyone doing? I haven't been on a whole lot but I guess it's because I need a break or just don't have the ESH in me. My SO has decided to retire and will take over the complete care of the home, cars, shopping, laundry, yard and repairs. So far so good but he needs a little training in some a...
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Cathyinaz
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3
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528
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made another mistake
(Preview)
I made a mistake and now need to make corrections. I'm too stressed and it's too much pressure. This will be very difficult as I need to tell my boyfriend that I cannot continue as such. It was a nice relationship that started developing some stressful undertones and I'm uncomfortable with how it's...
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bud
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35
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804
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should I check up on him?
(Preview)
I expect the answer will be a resounding no. You might know from previous posts my son was drinking heavily from Nov last year. Long story short I'd not had much contact with him until recently. No evidence he was drinking since he did a sel detox in cJuly. No evidence he wasn't drinking either. I met him o...
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MCALANON
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15
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578
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