Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I was taught many years ago that control was a response to feeling powerless. Enter steps one to seven. Its pretty hard sometimes to work steps 3 and 6 when you are a raging control freak. I am resisting the urge to hurt myself by playing spy. Gee this is hard! Old habits become entrenched relatively quic...

Debb · Debb

Want to thank you all at MIP, Al-Anon and the 12 step program and relate some really good progress due to all the help provided to me through your generosity!! Have recently stood up for myself when I told AH that his verbal abuse was unacceptable and that going forward an apology would be necessary if h...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I feel like an absolute failure this morning. I feel like I flushed everything I have learn in Al-Anon down the toilet last night. My ah drank yesterday. He came home and went to bed. No arguments, no anything. Nothing unusual. I knew I needed to get away from the house for a while, so my mom and I went sho...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am making progress with detaching from my AH. After seeing that nasty website stuff, it has actually helped me detach even more. I am able to ignore stuff he says or texts to me. I don't find myself getting upset as much as I used to. I have to live in the here and now. he and I both mad a mistake by getting mar...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

A friend of mine's daughter and granddaughter were killed in a car accident this morning. Second granddaughter is in the hospital in critical condition. They were hit by a traitor trailer truck. I cannot even begin to imagine or understand the pain my friend is in. My heart aches for her. My problems...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

aargh the damn eggshells and cobwebs of this existence. Since beginning alanon (again!) this stupid ridiculous dis-ease hovers like a gathering cloud. I explained to the ah that doing nuts does not become me,and mrs doesn't stand for Mother Replacement System. I didn't want to explain anything bu...

neshema2 · neshema2

I have this ANGER , over having to stay till i find another job, putting up w/abuse....I am soo angry that i have to "take it" till i can leave......I just can't leave $200 minimum a month , can't do it no matter how i try to work budget, so here i am , knowing I must, i am willing to give up to send awa...

hotrod · hotrod

STEP 6 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP BOARD--PLEASE JOIN AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58...

neshema2 · neshema2

I sure know how to pick them.... I have my Friday boss who think you are NOT a parent if you adopt (i inherited this article when his dad whom i love decided to hand the reins over to the sons) but at least the guy isn't a psycho my Wednesday client is a LOVE...but totally irresponsible and his off. mgr. a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I put an add on the supermarket noticeboard a while ago, mum kid and pets seeking a place etc because, you never know. I never did hear a word from anyone until this morning, a man called me to say he has a place and would I like to come and see it. Well I'm not going to get all excited, because, you know. But I'l...

el-cee · el-cee

Step 3 is a hard one. Easy to say, give your will over to the care of god as you understand him. My will is annoying me, its everywhere, im seeing my will in action more and more. In conversations, when I think im being funny and jokey, my will, im wanting attention or self gratification. In most conversat...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So you start a job on 10/20 when do you think his 90 days are up for probation? I know a weird question if you only knew the answer he gave me and told me to learn to do my math .. OMGOSH .. what a MORON!! It's hurting my son because this is all about the fact he can't play basketball now and I'm just furious .. I'm...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Things are going really well in so many areas, but with my busy life, school, work, kids and now a boyfriend I try to see once a week, my lack of time I am noticing things happening with my 16 year old, lack of communication and with my 6 year old behaviorally acting out at school and boys and girls club...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I appreciate those who helped me thru this dilemma. It came down too I am way too stressed from the tenants. I have done all I can do. It may be they have to leave. Then my renting my pasture is not settled. And now my 4 H people cannot find calfs to raise yet. so she may not rent. I talked to my son who told me to t...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am admitting something that is causing me a lot of pain. Whenever I feel sad and lonely I go to a website my AH posts on...to wake me up to the reality of how sick he really is. I just finished looking at some very disturbing images he posted. It's a site where anything goes...and people are really sick. Th...

el-cee · el-cee

I feel as if my home meetings are getting a bit stale. We have different speakers sharing on different topics, we have occasional workshops, we use different booklets but I would like to try something different. Any ideas?

Spur · Spur

Thank God I found Al Anon And MIP. In thetime since my Al Anon enlightenment I have learned so very much about dealing with A but most importantly, I've learned that I too have issues that need to be dealt with. Today my challenge is dealing with the codependent funk. As I examine my life over the past tw...

Spur · Spur

Question: Are the ideals of the Al Anon program in book form for the general population, but not specifically for recovery? I wish the program was available in a general life skills format so more people would use it, think about their relationships with themselves, family, friends, teachers, em...

Luiza · Luiza

Today someone from the Youth Mental Health Service called me. I didn't have my phone with me. I always have my phone with me and it always charged. Today I didn't for 1.5 hours only and missed this important call. So a person left me a voice mail asking to call back because we need to discuss my daughter's a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Ok I don't do well with too much going on.That is how I am It's why I live out here in the country and only go to town maybe 3-4 times a month. I am making a place for tenants to put there fifth wheel and live. excavaction. then rock. So I pay for the renting tractor and the neighbor who is doing it. Then I pay for t...

onewildworld · onewildworld

hello to all, i have been dating a woman who is coming up on her three year celebration. in trying to understand better what she is going through and how my interactions with her might be good or bad i have been attending aa and alanon meetings, reading books and researching the internet. of course i have...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

it feels like everything is caving in on me. I feel really sad and needy. Yesterday I had the urge to just go see AH and get a big hug...I just feel lonely and needy. I wish I could feel stronger. I guess I need to just sit and stew about it. I know I am playing a broken record, and you are all probably sick and tir...

Tracy · Tracy

I know my partner loves me. We have had some sobriety and got engaged. He slipped 3 months ago and the disease has progressed quickly. He has lost his job, me , friends and is mixing with some really unhealthy people. He does not contact me or any of his friends in recovery, In my head I know it is the dis...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Seems like I have on average one day a week where everything is suddenly terrible and too sad for words, it comes out of nowhere and I cry and moan and then its done and i'm better. I need to find some way to release this stuff that is less harmful to me, I'm open to suggestions. Its happening too often to be a o...

neshema2 · neshema2

First i want to thank all of you for the comforting hug and offerings of wisdom with this death of my BFF's sister who was also very special to me.......posting here and getting out of myself to share on another, offering my best within me to others, helped me stay level on my own growing anxiety, not hear...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

many times in this life,my hp has pulled strings. They weren't always what I thought I wanted,but they were wonderful nonetheless. As a child,we moved alot.I craved my own home.as an adult,I've never had to worry about a roof over my head. One night,when my life was a living hell,I allowed myself to im...

nybeachgirl · nybeachgirl

Hi Everyone! I just want to say thank you in advance for anyone who takes the time to read my post/reply. I've never done anything like this before so I don't really know where to start. My therapist suggested to me that she thinks al-anon meetings would help me, but I have a very busy schedule and I think a...

Tash2 · Tash2

hi all, I'm conscious that I don't just want to post when struggling or in dispair because I know I still have a long way to go in my recovery. But tonight I find myself at home why AH has gone for a spontaneous "drink after work". He's been better if late, but I can now read the signs about him bec...

jasmine r c · jasmine r c

Don't know how to handle my anger, frustration & disappointment that my husband is using again. He is a recovering alcoholic, with about 6 years sober. I gave a drug & alcohol test this afternoon. Came up negative on drinking test but came up positive on the urine sample for THC. I believe he ha...

lookingup · lookingup

I've relapsed and it don't take much for me to go off into a mad frenzy i e ended up haveing his guts,then somehow there must be a tiny light there somewhere that keeps letting him back into my life I've been around him only 2days and it's been a exploding argument .wheres my alanon tools at.? I don't deserv...

Debilyn · Debilyn

couldn't do this in pm hope it is ok here. Here are brother and sister Maddie and Saber. Ex cons, brokem out a few months ago!

grateful2be · grateful2be

We started saying that thousands of people with the disease of alcoholism are able to live happy, sober lives each year with help? Every time I read that only a small percentage of alcoholics are able to get and stay sober, I find myself wondering if those reading our posts - alcoholics and codependen...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

When I pray which isn't often enough, I feel a sense of peace. It doesn't have to be a fancy prayer. It just has to mean something. Like the serenity prayer or please help me. Or God I can't do this alone. Thank you for being patient w/ me. I really started to pray more when I was ready for the 11th step. "...

Luiza · Luiza

So after the kitchen stuff, pictures and paintings, some furniture and even kitchen salt, STBX now took daughter's passports.. I opened the drawer were I keep important documents and my passports are there and daughter's aren't. I called the non emergency police number and they advised me to go to a...

Lemissa · Lemissa

So this al-anon thing is pretty new to me, however, my mothers drinking is not. She has been drinking heavily for 12 years or so that I can remember, although recently I have been made aware that she was drinking when I was a child. She had cancer a few years ago and been advised to give up caffeine and alcoh...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I have a friend living near my mum, we were best friends in high school and have stayed in touch on facebook, always making plans to see each other, but it's so far so it never happens. So I was thinking to myself today, you know what, that is a big silver lining. When I am there, I can go see my friend, that wil...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I have 6 years sober. Never relapsed since starting to go to AA. Most of my peers in AA with any length of sobriety state relapse is not an option for them either. I can understand that in alanon, it helps to keep expectations of the alcoholic low, BUT if one of my sponsees in AA relapsed and tried to tell me i...

BE0906 · BE0906

My husband has been through rehab twice. We married a year later. He has not continued with therapy or AA, despite his assurances to the contrary. It has been a struggle this past year. He has developed an affinity with pot, honestly just at night due to sleep, which was a precipitating factor for hi...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I get a call this afternoon. My son got the crap beat out of him and the counselor said he was not to blame. He was put into detention for his own safety and will be moved when they find him somewhere to go. OK now I can only see him behind glass because HE DID NOTHING WRONG......he is isolated because he...

gingerfizz · gingerfizz

Prior to learning the precious wisdom of AlAnon, my AH had a very very bad drinking "event" shall we say, and myself and his father were present and an agreement was made that if AH stopped drinking we would too, to support AH. I NOW KNOW this was wrong, and it was an attempt to control and mana...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

To say I have had a lot going on this weekend is an understatement .. LOL .. it's all good, I slapped a band aide on it and hopefully I can set it to heal sooner than later. I will really have to watch myself and figure out my own discipline of works and doesn't .. I'm definitely a toddler when it comes to being...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

Just as I feel I am making progress towards a new life, I get smacked with a rock in the road. This one is a boulder. My AH and I have lived apart for over 14 months. Up until now, my mind has been pretty clear on my path. My HP has been great at keeping me on track. I began the divorce process last month but,...

Jupiter · Jupiter

Hello Everyone, Im happy to meet you all! I'm not new to the problem of alcoholism. I live with my AH -married 25 years and have finally decided it was time to jump off the denial train and start detaching myself from his problem. My husband crossed the line into addiction about 6 years ago becoming pr...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

Baffling and cunning. Since putting my recovery to the fore,I've noticed a lot of guilt mists the edges of me. I feel guilty about releasing responsibility even when carryin all of it alone fails.there have been two topics that, leap out well actually three. Fear,isolating and playing martyr.havi...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hey sugar muffin, hows the foot doing???? Hope it is healing nicely.....sending healing hugs.........

neshema2 · neshema2

Well I guess i didn't lose anything....as illustrated by email exchange below should have put this on new thread......oh well its here and the original.....i wasn't thinking HIS EMAIL TO MEHIS "AMEND" to me when I called him out as illustrated in my letter to him, re: his calling me at wor...

joker · joker

I have been feeling so lost lately. I have a BF that I have been with for the past 6 months and he drinks. He was sober for a month but has been on a drunk again for 3 days now. I thank god I have an apartment to go to. I tried to live with him, but it has not worked out. Now I have most of my belongings at his home and I h...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Lotsa thoughts, goals, tenseness. I put an ad on CL for a pet bovine. I pictured an old dairy cow. This gal answers my ad. My dream is a Jersey mini Steer. She offers me a Jersey mini steer, seven mo. old. A friend wants to get it for me. My life has been blessed that all my dreams have been realized....

Luiza · Luiza

I sometimes get freaked out by dreams. The other day I dreamed about a friend telling me that the little 4.5 year boy I look after since he was 2months old will die. Now, I receive a message from my aunty telling me that since the 1st of September, she has been having horrible dreams about my daughter and I...

el-cee · el-cee

Sorry to bring this here but I need help. I just saw a mouse. Seriously, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I was lying on my bed and I saw something fast out of the corner of my eyes. Then there it was bold as brass just looking at me. I started screaming. Seriously, how am I going to go on with my life? Im not enteri...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi all, I've not posted for a while, but have been keeping up with everyone. I've been working really hard on my program & going to meetings when I can. AH has been better lately, or maybe I've been better at detaching, either way for the most part I have found some serenity. But in the course of trying...

Meehan512 · Meehan512

Well tonight was the worst night ever. Huge violent relapse. I am numb alone in bed with my son and he is drunk passed out on the floor. all because my family is sick of his bs. And so am I, he asks like he walks on water. I hold all the stress and wait. He works and comes home. I work. I am a mom. I am the house mom. I...

BS4MR · BS4MR

Hi it's my first time on this board. My husband of 10 years drinks heavily and it is becoming intolerable. We have 2 children aged 9 & 6 and it is starting to impact in their lives. Mostly through our rows about his drinking but also he is now often drunk in front of them. The problem is, he is what you mi...

neshema2 · neshema2

I sorta suspected that my BFF would "go under" her daughter is with her, i know for fact, even tho i get VM when i check up on them, she is there but she doesn't answer the phone...... Nothing I can do but wait till "S" feels like talking...she isolates when severely hit with someth...

neshema2 · neshema2

Ok this week wasn't such a happy one, but nevertheless i still can find things to be grateful for I am grateful that the weather is still nice my kids and dogs are healthy I am healthy and this strap i have for my tennis elbow is enabling me to use my left arm Daughter #2 and i are getting on fine and are seeing q...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I need to stop thinking of myself as a helpless passenger and remember, my choices brought me here. The journey isn't done and we're kind of in the woods now but that's OK, I'm still in motion. I chose not to continue being a victim or a life support system to A's disease. I chose not to keep sleeping with s...

Fairlee · Fairlee

AH had a business meeting at church tonight. I was going anyway, so I picked him up and we went together. For the first time ever I was not worried about the smell of alcohol or his red eyes or slurring words...I had no anxiety about him or the state he was in...i owned "me" and let him be "hi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was struggling w/ my identity for so long thinking who am I? I am just a soul getting through life on a wing & a prayer. I am sometimes confused & feel like I am not quite there. But as someone says in a meeting, I am here because I am not all there. I am not afraid as much as I was. Still crowds of people...

neshema2 · neshema2

Once upon a time I had a very good recovery friend, was on his recovery site for a long time, we were like a little family...My first taste of aca and alanon and i grew to love many members, especially this guy and an older guy who founded the site with him...We did some great recovery work together...I cut...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Why is it so hard to let go? My dry ah has been gone for three months and my pain is still so fresh. Now we are getting into the financials and he is playing games. Holding out his checks but using our funds to pay his helper. Not the behavior of someone that wants to go to mediation with me. We have no children...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	control (Preview) I was taught many years ago that control was a response to feeling powerless. Enter steps one to seven. Its pretty hard sometimes to work steps 3 and 6 when you are a raging control freak. I am resisting the urge to hurt myself by playing spy. Gee this is hard! Old habits become entrenched relatively quic...	aquamom23	5	715	Oct 23, 2014 by aquamom23
	Am Exercising My Boundaries (Preview) Want to thank you all at MIP, Al-Anon and the 12 step program and relate some really good progress due to all the help provided to me through your generosity!! Have recently stood up for myself when I told AH that his verbal abuse was unacceptable and that going forward an apology would be necessary if h...	Debb	8	668	Oct 23, 2014 by Debb
	I relasped last night. (Preview) I feel like an absolute failure this morning. I feel like I flushed everything I have learn in Al-Anon down the toilet last night. My ah drank yesterday. He came home and went to bed. No arguments, no anything. Nothing unusual. I knew I needed to get away from the house for a while, so my mom and I went sho...	cloudyskies	25	818	Oct 23, 2014 by cloudyskies
	I'm getting it...finally (Preview) I am making progress with detaching from my AH. After seeing that nasty website stuff, it has actually helped me detach even more. I am able to ignore stuff he says or texts to me. I don't find myself getting upset as much as I used to. I have to live in the here and now. he and I both mad a mistake by getting mar...	Newlife girl	10	771	Oct 23, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	please pray for my friend (Preview) A friend of mine's daughter and granddaughter were killed in a car accident this morning. Second granddaughter is in the hospital in critical condition. They were hit by a traitor trailer truck. I cannot even begin to imagine or understand the pain my friend is in. My heart aches for her. My problems...	cloudyskies	8	437	Oct 23, 2014 by cloudyskies
	dry drunk,coda funk. (Preview) aargh the damn eggshells and cobwebs of this existence. Since beginning alanon (again!) this stupid ridiculous dis-ease hovers like a gathering cloud. I explained to the ah that doing nuts does not become me,and mrs doesn't stand for Mother Replacement System. I didn't want to explain anything bu...	aquamom23	12	906	Oct 23, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	update to workplace abuse (to ANY body who has to "defer" their escape) (Preview) I have this ANGER , over having to stay till i find another job, putting up w/abuse....I am soo angry that i have to "take it" till i can leave......I just can't leave $200 minimum a month , can't do it no matter how i try to work budget, so here i am , knowing I must, i am willing to give up to send awa...	neshema2	3	580	Oct 23, 2014 by el-cee
	STEP 6 (Preview) STEP 6 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP BOARD--PLEASE JOIN AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58...	hotrod	0	335	Oct 23, 2014 by hotrod
	Abuse at the workplace (Preview) I sure know how to pick them.... I have my Friday boss who think you are NOT a parent if you adopt (i inherited this article when his dad whom i love decided to hand the reins over to the sons) but at least the guy isn't a psycho my Wednesday client is a LOVE...but totally irresponsible and his off. mgr. a...	neshema2	9	754	Oct 23, 2014 by neshema2
	Lol. (Preview) I put an add on the supermarket noticeboard a while ago, mum kid and pets seeking a place etc because, you never know. I never did hear a word from anyone until this morning, a man called me to say he has a place and would I like to come and see it. Well I'm not going to get all excited, because, you know. But I'l...	missmeliss	12	699	Oct 23, 2014 by Breakingfree
	battle of wills (Preview) Step 3 is a hard one. Easy to say, give your will over to the care of god as you understand him. My will is annoying me, its everywhere, im seeing my will in action more and more. In conversations, when I think im being funny and jokey, my will, im wanting attention or self gratification. In most conversat...	el-cee	4	463	Oct 23, 2014 by Breakingfree
	OT - What does 90 day probationary period mean to you .. (Preview) So you start a job on 10/20 when do you think his 90 days are up for probation? I know a weird question if you only knew the answer he gave me and told me to learn to do my math .. OMGOSH .. what a MORON!! It's hurting my son because this is all about the fact he can't play basketball now and I'm just furious .. I'm...	SerenityRUS	17	814	Oct 23, 2014 by pinkchip
	Lately I just come to read, but today I need to post... (Preview) Things are going really well in so many areas, but with my busy life, school, work, kids and now a boyfriend I try to see once a week, my lack of time I am noticing things happening with my 16 year old, lack of communication and with my 6 year old behaviorally acting out at school and boys and girls club...	Breakingfree	10	651	Oct 23, 2014 by milkwood
	little update (Preview) I appreciate those who helped me thru this dilemma. It came down too I am way too stressed from the tenants. I have done all I can do. It may be they have to leave. Then my renting my pasture is not settled. And now my 4 H people cannot find calfs to raise yet. so she may not rent. I talked to my son who told me to t...	Debilyn	12	698	Oct 23, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Sick website...are "most men" like this??? (Preview) I am admitting something that is causing me a lot of pain. Whenever I feel sad and lonely I go to a website my AH posts on...to wake me up to the reality of how sick he really is. I just finished looking at some very disturbing images he posted. It's a site where anything goes...and people are really sick. Th...	Newlife girl	27	917	Oct 22, 2014 by Newlife girl
	alanon meeting ideas (Preview) I feel as if my home meetings are getting a bit stale. We have different speakers sharing on different topics, we have occasional workshops, we use different booklets but I would like to try something different. Any ideas?	el-cee	7	5713	Oct 22, 2014 by hotrod
	Getting Out Of The CoDependent Funk (Preview) Thank God I found Al Anon And MIP. In thetime since my Al Anon enlightenment I have learned so very much about dealing with A but most importantly, I've learned that I too have issues that need to be dealt with. Today my challenge is dealing with the codependent funk. As I examine my life over the past tw...	Spur	8	727	Oct 22, 2014 by PP
	Al Anon Principles For The Masses (Preview) Question: Are the ideals of the Al Anon program in book form for the general population, but not specifically for recovery? I wish the program was available in a general life skills format so more people would use it, think about their relationships with themselves, family, friends, teachers, em...	Spur	6	2608	Oct 22, 2014 by Fairlee
	Today's drama. (Preview) Today someone from the Youth Mental Health Service called me. I didn't have my phone with me. I always have my phone with me and it always charged. Today I didn't for 1.5 hours only and missed this important call. So a person left me a voice mail asking to call back because we need to discuss my daughter's a...	Luiza	15	780	Oct 22, 2014 by Breakingfree
	feeling mixed up and need help (Preview) Ok I don't do well with too much going on.That is how I am It's why I live out here in the country and only go to town maybe 3-4 times a month. I am making a place for tenants to put there fifth wheel and live. excavaction. then rock. So I pay for the renting tractor and the neighbor who is doing it. Then I pay for t...	Debilyn	16	791	Oct 22, 2014 by PP
	dating a woman in recovery, really need some insight (Preview) hello to all, i have been dating a woman who is coming up on her three year celebration. in trying to understand better what she is going through and how my interactions with her might be good or bad i have been attending aa and alanon meetings, reading books and researching the internet. of course i have...	onewildworld	14	1090	Oct 22, 2014 by pinkchip
	Feeling numb. Need to snap out of this (Preview) it feels like everything is caving in on me. I feel really sad and needy. Yesterday I had the urge to just go see AH and get a big hug...I just feel lonely and needy. I wish I could feel stronger. I guess I need to just sit and stew about it. I know I am playing a broken record, and you are all probably sick and tir...	Newlife girl	17	762	Oct 22, 2014 by Newlife girl
	taking it personally (Preview) I know my partner loves me. We have had some sobriety and got engaged. He slipped 3 months ago and the disease has progressed quickly. He has lost his job, me , friends and is mixing with some really unhealthy people. He does not contact me or any of his friends in recovery, In my head I know it is the dis...	Tracy	5	625	Oct 21, 2014 by Jerry F
	Better again (Preview) Seems like I have on average one day a week where everything is suddenly terrible and too sad for words, it comes out of nowhere and I cry and moan and then its done and i'm better. I need to find some way to release this stuff that is less harmful to me, I'm open to suggestions. Its happening too often to be a o...	missmeliss	9	634	Oct 21, 2014 by neshema2
	"S" and Janet (Preview) First i want to thank all of you for the comforting hug and offerings of wisdom with this death of my BFF's sister who was also very special to me.......posting here and getting out of myself to share on another, offering my best within me to others, helped me stay level on my own growing anxiety, not hear...	neshema2	5	626	Oct 21, 2014 by PP
	examples of hp (Preview) many times in this life,my hp has pulled strings. They weren't always what I thought I wanted,but they were wonderful nonetheless. As a child,we moved alot.I craved my own home.as an adult,I've never had to worry about a roof over my head. One night,when my life was a living hell,I allowed myself to im...	aquamom23	7	539	Oct 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	New here, but same old problems.. alcoholic dad relationship (Preview) Hi Everyone! I just want to say thank you in advance for anyone who takes the time to read my post/reply. I've never done anything like this before so I don't really know where to start. My therapist suggested to me that she thinks al-anon meetings would help me, but I have a very busy schedule and I think a...	nybeachgirl	4	3741	Oct 21, 2014 by nybeachgirl
	My HP at work (Preview) hi all, I'm conscious that I don't just want to post when struggling or in dispair because I know I still have a long way to go in my recovery. But tonight I find myself at home why AH has gone for a spontaneous "drink after work". He's been better if late, but I can now read the signs about him bec...	Tash2	3	460	Oct 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	needing immediate advice (Preview) Don't know how to handle my anger, frustration & disappointment that my husband is using again. He is a recovering alcoholic, with about 6 years sober. I gave a drug & alcohol test this afternoon. Came up negative on drinking test but came up positive on the urine sample for THC. I believe he ha...	jasmine r c	6	721	Oct 21, 2014 by Kelly123
	Relapsed (Preview) I've relapsed and it don't take much for me to go off into a mad frenzy i e ended up haveing his guts,then somehow there must be a tiny light there somewhere that keeps letting him back into my life I've been around him only 2days and it's been a exploding argument .wheres my alanon tools at.? I don't deserv...	lookingup	5	559	Oct 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	Newlife girl (Preview) couldn't do this in pm hope it is ok here. Here are brother and sister Maddie and Saber. Ex cons, brokem out a few months ago!	Debilyn	5	387	Oct 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	What might happen if... (Preview) We started saying that thousands of people with the disease of alcoholism are able to live happy, sober lives each year with help? Every time I read that only a small percentage of alcoholics are able to get and stay sober, I find myself wondering if those reading our posts - alcoholics and codependen...	grateful2be	18	803	Oct 21, 2014 by pinkchip
	prayer (Preview) When I pray which isn't often enough, I feel a sense of peace. It doesn't have to be a fancy prayer. It just has to mean something. Like the serenity prayer or please help me. Or God I can't do this alone. Thank you for being patient w/ me. I really started to pray more when I was ready for the 11th step. "...	Hoot Nanny	5	596	Oct 20, 2014 by cloudyskies
	He gone for passports now. (Preview) So after the kitchen stuff, pictures and paintings, some furniture and even kitchen salt, STBX now took daughter's passports.. I opened the drawer were I keep important documents and my passports are there and daughter's aren't. I called the non emergency police number and they advised me to go to a...	Luiza	17	706	Oct 20, 2014 by PP
	Newbie (Preview) So this al-anon thing is pretty new to me, however, my mothers drinking is not. She has been drinking heavily for 12 years or so that I can remember, although recently I have been made aware that she was drinking when I was a child. She had cancer a few years ago and been advised to give up caffeine and alcoh...	Lemissa	4	623	Oct 20, 2014 by pinkchip
	sad face. (Preview) I have a friend living near my mum, we were best friends in high school and have stayed in touch on facebook, always making plans to see each other, but it's so far so it never happens. So I was thinking to myself today, you know what, that is a big silver lining. When I am there, I can go see my friend, that wil...	missmeliss	21	800	Oct 20, 2014 by cmb
	Why do people in Alanon say relapse is a part of recovery. (Preview) I have 6 years sober. Never relapsed since starting to go to AA. Most of my peers in AA with any length of sobriety state relapse is not an option for them either. I can understand that in alanon, it helps to keep expectations of the alcoholic low, BUT if one of my sponsees in AA relapsed and tried to tell me i...	pinkchip	19	1232	Oct 20, 2014 by Flower49
	grief and helplessness (Preview) My husband has been through rehab twice. We married a year later. He has not continued with therapy or AA, despite his assurances to the contrary. It has been a struggle this past year. He has developed an affinity with pot, honestly just at night due to sleep, which was a precipitating factor for hi...	BE0906	9	793	Oct 20, 2014 by BE0906
	I'm hurt I'm pissed I'm lost because I will NOT make it right (Preview) I get a call this afternoon. My son got the crap beat out of him and the counselor said he was not to blame. He was put into detention for his own safety and will be moved when they find him somewhere to go. OK now I can only see him behind glass because HE DID NOTHING WRONG......he is isolated because he...	Cathyinaz	18	878	Oct 20, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Controlling him by not drinking myself (Preview) Prior to learning the precious wisdom of AlAnon, my AH had a very very bad drinking "event" shall we say, and myself and his father were present and an agreement was made that if AH stopped drinking we would too, to support AH. I NOW KNOW this was wrong, and it was an attempt to control and mana...	gingerfizz	12	643	Oct 20, 2014 by andromeda
	So it starts .. (Preview) To say I have had a lot going on this weekend is an understatement .. LOL .. it's all good, I slapped a band aide on it and hopefully I can set it to heal sooner than later. I will really have to watch myself and figure out my own discipline of works and doesn't .. I'm definitely a toddler when it comes to being...	SerenityRUS	3	650	Oct 20, 2014 by andromeda
	Thrown for a loop (Preview) Just as I feel I am making progress towards a new life, I get smacked with a rock in the road. This one is a boulder. My AH and I have lived apart for over 14 months. Up until now, my mind has been pretty clear on my path. My HP has been great at keeping me on track. I began the divorce process last month but,...	Tossed Salad	13	812	Oct 20, 2014 by pinkchip
	I'm new here (Preview) Hello Everyone, Im happy to meet you all! I'm not new to the problem of alcoholism. I live with my AH -married 25 years and have finally decided it was time to jump off the denial train and start detaching myself from his problem. My husband crossed the line into addiction about 6 years ago becoming pr...	Jupiter	6	694	Oct 20, 2014 by Jupiter
	odaat (Preview) Baffling and cunning. Since putting my recovery to the fore,I've noticed a lot of guilt mists the edges of me. I feel guilty about releasing responsibility even when carryin all of it alone fails.there have been two topics that, leap out well actually three. Fear,isolating and playing martyr.havi...	aquamom23	3	505	Oct 20, 2014 by aquamom23
	Pinging Cathy (Preview) Hey sugar muffin, hows the foot doing???? Hope it is healing nicely.....sending healing hugs.........	neshema2	14	468	Oct 20, 2014 by milkwood
	UPDATE on the "for old times sake post" Now I know (Preview) Well I guess i didn't lose anything....as illustrated by email exchange below should have put this on new thread......oh well its here and the original.....i wasn't thinking HIS EMAIL TO MEHIS "AMEND" to me when I called him out as illustrated in my letter to him, re: his calling me at wor...	neshema2	14	563	Oct 19, 2014 by neshema2
	uncertain (Preview) I have been feeling so lost lately. I have a BF that I have been with for the past 6 months and he drinks. He was sober for a month but has been on a drunk again for 3 days now. I thank god I have an apartment to go to. I tried to live with him, but it has not worked out. Now I have most of my belongings at his home and I h...	joker	4	558	Oct 19, 2014 by Fairlee
	a me share/ pictures (Preview) Lotsa thoughts, goals, tenseness. I put an ad on CL for a pet bovine. I pictured an old dairy cow. This gal answers my ad. My dream is a Jersey mini Steer. She offers me a Jersey mini steer, seven mo. old. A friend wants to get it for me. My life has been blessed that all my dreams have been realized....	Debilyn	9	1477	Oct 19, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Dreams...? How to interpret it? (Preview) I sometimes get freaked out by dreams. The other day I dreamed about a friend telling me that the little 4.5 year boy I look after since he was 2months old will die. Now, I receive a message from my aunty telling me that since the 1st of September, she has been having horrible dreams about my daughter and I...	Luiza	13	684	Oct 19, 2014 by grateful2be
	nearly had a heart attack ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Sorry to bring this here but I need help. I just saw a mouse. Seriously, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I was lying on my bed and I saw something fast out of the corner of my eyes. Then there it was bold as brass just looking at me. I started screaming. Seriously, how am I going to go on with my life? Im not enteri...	el-cee	65	1330	Oct 19, 2014 by el-cee
	No such thing as patterns? (Preview) Hi all, I've not posted for a while, but have been keeping up with everyone. I've been working really hard on my program & going to meetings when I can. AH has been better lately, or maybe I've been better at detaching, either way for the most part I have found some serenity. But in the course of trying...	Tash2	6	817	Oct 19, 2014 by neshema2
	HUGE relapse tonight. (Preview) Well tonight was the worst night ever. Huge violent relapse. I am numb alone in bed with my son and he is drunk passed out on the floor. all because my family is sick of his bs. And so am I, he asks like he walks on water. I hold all the stress and wait. He works and comes home. I work. I am a mom. I am the house mom. I...	Meehan512	8	651	Oct 19, 2014 by Beatrice
	New here....where to start? (Preview) Hi it's my first time on this board. My husband of 10 years drinks heavily and it is becoming intolerable. We have 2 children aged 9 & 6 and it is starting to impact in their lives. Mostly through our rows about his drinking but also he is now often drunk in front of them. The problem is, he is what you mi...	BS4MR	8	505	Oct 19, 2014 by neshema2
	I think my old mate has isolated (Preview) I sorta suspected that my BFF would "go under" her daughter is with her, i know for fact, even tho i get VM when i check up on them, she is there but she doesn't answer the phone...... Nothing I can do but wait till "S" feels like talking...she isolates when severely hit with someth...	neshema2	5	615	Oct 19, 2014 by neshema2
	grateful challenge SUNDAY (Preview) Ok this week wasn't such a happy one, but nevertheless i still can find things to be grateful for I am grateful that the weather is still nice my kids and dogs are healthy I am healthy and this strap i have for my tennis elbow is enabling me to use my left arm Daughter #2 and i are getting on fine and are seeing q...	neshema2	0	353	Oct 19, 2014 by neshema2
	Choices. (Preview) I need to stop thinking of myself as a helpless passenger and remember, my choices brought me here. The journey isn't done and we're kind of in the woods now but that's OK, I'm still in motion. I chose not to continue being a victim or a life support system to A's disease. I chose not to keep sleeping with s...	missmeliss	14	957	Oct 19, 2014 by andromeda
	Making progress...I think! (Preview) AH had a business meeting at church tonight. I was going anyway, so I picked him up and we went together. For the first time ever I was not worried about the smell of alcohol or his red eyes or slurring words...I had no anxiety about him or the state he was in...i owned "me" and let him be "hi...	Fairlee	8	598	Oct 19, 2014 by hotrod
	it is okay to be me. (Preview) I was struggling w/ my identity for so long thinking who am I? I am just a soul getting through life on a wing & a prayer. I am sometimes confused & feel like I am not quite there. But as someone says in a meeting, I am here because I am not all there. I am not afraid as much as I was. Still crowds of people...	Hoot Nanny	6	505	Oct 19, 2014 by hotrod
	"For old times sake" just does not work anymore (Preview) Once upon a time I had a very good recovery friend, was on his recovery site for a long time, we were like a little family...My first taste of aca and alanon and i grew to love many members, especially this guy and an older guy who founded the site with him...We did some great recovery work together...I cut...	neshema2	13	646	Oct 19, 2014 by neshema2
	Trying to let go/let god (Preview) Why is it so hard to let go? My dry ah has been gone for three months and my pain is still so fresh. Now we are getting into the financials and he is playing games. Holding out his checks but using our funds to pay his helper. Not the behavior of someone that wants to go to mediation with me. We have no children...	Mirandac	5	608	Oct 19, 2014 by Mirandac
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.