Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lookingup · lookingup

I've relapsed and it don't take much for me to go off into a mad frenzy i e ended up haveing his guts,then somehow there must be a tiny light there somewhere that keeps letting him back into my life I've been around him only 2days and it's been a exploding argument .wheres my alanon tools at.? I don't deserv...

Debilyn · Debilyn

couldn't do this in pm hope it is ok here. Here are brother and sister Maddie and Saber. Ex cons, brokem out a few months ago!

grateful2be · grateful2be

We started saying that thousands of people with the disease of alcoholism are able to live happy, sober lives each year with help? Every time I read that only a small percentage of alcoholics are able to get and stay sober, I find myself wondering if those reading our posts - alcoholics and codependen...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

When I pray which isn't often enough, I feel a sense of peace. It doesn't have to be a fancy prayer. It just has to mean something. Like the serenity prayer or please help me. Or God I can't do this alone. Thank you for being patient w/ me. I really started to pray more when I was ready for the 11th step. "...

Luiza · Luiza

So after the kitchen stuff, pictures and paintings, some furniture and even kitchen salt, STBX now took daughter's passports.. I opened the drawer were I keep important documents and my passports are there and daughter's aren't. I called the non emergency police number and they advised me to go to a...

Lemissa · Lemissa

So this al-anon thing is pretty new to me, however, my mothers drinking is not. She has been drinking heavily for 12 years or so that I can remember, although recently I have been made aware that she was drinking when I was a child. She had cancer a few years ago and been advised to give up caffeine and alcoh...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I have a friend living near my mum, we were best friends in high school and have stayed in touch on facebook, always making plans to see each other, but it's so far so it never happens. So I was thinking to myself today, you know what, that is a big silver lining. When I am there, I can go see my friend, that wil...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I have 6 years sober. Never relapsed since starting to go to AA. Most of my peers in AA with any length of sobriety state relapse is not an option for them either. I can understand that in alanon, it helps to keep expectations of the alcoholic low, BUT if one of my sponsees in AA relapsed and tried to tell me i...

BE0906 · BE0906

My husband has been through rehab twice. We married a year later. He has not continued with therapy or AA, despite his assurances to the contrary. It has been a struggle this past year. He has developed an affinity with pot, honestly just at night due to sleep, which was a precipitating factor for hi...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I get a call this afternoon. My son got the crap beat out of him and the counselor said he was not to blame. He was put into detention for his own safety and will be moved when they find him somewhere to go. OK now I can only see him behind glass because HE DID NOTHING WRONG......he is isolated because he...

gingerfizz · gingerfizz

Prior to learning the precious wisdom of AlAnon, my AH had a very very bad drinking "event" shall we say, and myself and his father were present and an agreement was made that if AH stopped drinking we would too, to support AH. I NOW KNOW this was wrong, and it was an attempt to control and mana...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

To say I have had a lot going on this weekend is an understatement .. LOL .. it's all good, I slapped a band aide on it and hopefully I can set it to heal sooner than later. I will really have to watch myself and figure out my own discipline of works and doesn't .. I'm definitely a toddler when it comes to being...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

Just as I feel I am making progress towards a new life, I get smacked with a rock in the road. This one is a boulder. My AH and I have lived apart for over 14 months. Up until now, my mind has been pretty clear on my path. My HP has been great at keeping me on track. I began the divorce process last month but,...

Jupiter · Jupiter

Hello Everyone, Im happy to meet you all! I'm not new to the problem of alcoholism. I live with my AH -married 25 years and have finally decided it was time to jump off the denial train and start detaching myself from his problem. My husband crossed the line into addiction about 6 years ago becoming pr...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

Baffling and cunning. Since putting my recovery to the fore,I've noticed a lot of guilt mists the edges of me. I feel guilty about releasing responsibility even when carryin all of it alone fails.there have been two topics that, leap out well actually three. Fear,isolating and playing martyr.havi...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hey sugar muffin, hows the foot doing???? Hope it is healing nicely.....sending healing hugs.........

neshema2 · neshema2

Well I guess i didn't lose anything....as illustrated by email exchange below should have put this on new thread......oh well its here and the original.....i wasn't thinking HIS EMAIL TO MEHIS "AMEND" to me when I called him out as illustrated in my letter to him, re: his calling me at wor...

joker · joker

I have been feeling so lost lately. I have a BF that I have been with for the past 6 months and he drinks. He was sober for a month but has been on a drunk again for 3 days now. I thank god I have an apartment to go to. I tried to live with him, but it has not worked out. Now I have most of my belongings at his home and I h...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Lotsa thoughts, goals, tenseness. I put an ad on CL for a pet bovine. I pictured an old dairy cow. This gal answers my ad. My dream is a Jersey mini Steer. She offers me a Jersey mini steer, seven mo. old. A friend wants to get it for me. My life has been blessed that all my dreams have been realized....

Luiza · Luiza

I sometimes get freaked out by dreams. The other day I dreamed about a friend telling me that the little 4.5 year boy I look after since he was 2months old will die. Now, I receive a message from my aunty telling me that since the 1st of September, she has been having horrible dreams about my daughter and I...

el-cee · el-cee

Sorry to bring this here but I need help. I just saw a mouse. Seriously, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I was lying on my bed and I saw something fast out of the corner of my eyes. Then there it was bold as brass just looking at me. I started screaming. Seriously, how am I going to go on with my life? Im not enteri...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi all, I've not posted for a while, but have been keeping up with everyone. I've been working really hard on my program & going to meetings when I can. AH has been better lately, or maybe I've been better at detaching, either way for the most part I have found some serenity. But in the course of trying...

Meehan512 · Meehan512

Well tonight was the worst night ever. Huge violent relapse. I am numb alone in bed with my son and he is drunk passed out on the floor. all because my family is sick of his bs. And so am I, he asks like he walks on water. I hold all the stress and wait. He works and comes home. I work. I am a mom. I am the house mom. I...

BS4MR · BS4MR

Hi it's my first time on this board. My husband of 10 years drinks heavily and it is becoming intolerable. We have 2 children aged 9 & 6 and it is starting to impact in their lives. Mostly through our rows about his drinking but also he is now often drunk in front of them. The problem is, he is what you mi...

neshema2 · neshema2

I sorta suspected that my BFF would "go under" her daughter is with her, i know for fact, even tho i get VM when i check up on them, she is there but she doesn't answer the phone...... Nothing I can do but wait till "S" feels like talking...she isolates when severely hit with someth...

neshema2 · neshema2

Ok this week wasn't such a happy one, but nevertheless i still can find things to be grateful for I am grateful that the weather is still nice my kids and dogs are healthy I am healthy and this strap i have for my tennis elbow is enabling me to use my left arm Daughter #2 and i are getting on fine and are seeing q...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I need to stop thinking of myself as a helpless passenger and remember, my choices brought me here. The journey isn't done and we're kind of in the woods now but that's OK, I'm still in motion. I chose not to continue being a victim or a life support system to A's disease. I chose not to keep sleeping with s...

Fairlee · Fairlee

AH had a business meeting at church tonight. I was going anyway, so I picked him up and we went together. For the first time ever I was not worried about the smell of alcohol or his red eyes or slurring words...I had no anxiety about him or the state he was in...i owned "me" and let him be "hi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was struggling w/ my identity for so long thinking who am I? I am just a soul getting through life on a wing & a prayer. I am sometimes confused & feel like I am not quite there. But as someone says in a meeting, I am here because I am not all there. I am not afraid as much as I was. Still crowds of people...

neshema2 · neshema2

Once upon a time I had a very good recovery friend, was on his recovery site for a long time, we were like a little family...My first taste of aca and alanon and i grew to love many members, especially this guy and an older guy who founded the site with him...We did some great recovery work together...I cut...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Why is it so hard to let go? My dry ah has been gone for three months and my pain is still so fresh. Now we are getting into the financials and he is playing games. Holding out his checks but using our funds to pay his helper. Not the behavior of someone that wants to go to mediation with me. We have no children...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Apparently I like big messes in my life .. for once I don't want to get into detail .. just please say some prayers for the kids and I .. it's all going to be ok .. I just am not sure how it's all going to turn out and it's not good .. I'm not going to minimize it .. it is what it is and I will have to face the consequenc...

texasgal · texasgal

My divorce is going to happen my exAH is paying for it. He wants to marry the 24 yr old at our church back home...lol I wished him the best of luck and told him I hope he has a nice life. Their isn't much I can or want to say. I have adjusted well to my new town and job :) I have been dating this one man for a couple of w...

neshema2 · neshema2

is this beautiful or what??? when i doubt there may be a HP or universal power most high, and i see something like this...... may HP of each person's understanding bless and nurture and protect this group and all its brothers and sisters from any enemies that hold us back from releasing and enjoying th...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Not sure how related this is to Alanon but - probably one of the biggest amends I made to myself when getting sober was obtaining my professional license that allowed me to get better jobs with higher pay. Since being licensed, I have literally worked at 4 different places. I have been licensed since...

Tracy · Tracy

the topic in our meeting last night was think. I can tend to over think obsess. Yet sometimes I react rather than THINK and respond. My mind is a dangerous place to go alone. ( better to ring an al anon friend and reason something out). before al anon my thinking was stinking it still can today but my al anon...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

OK so it's the first day back at work since giving my resignation. I just want to keep my serenity, get through the next two weeks and just get out. I'm just trying to mind my own business until I go. So this woman who is the head of the department I'm assigned to comes to my desk. She got in my face for no real...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Home from the hospital....it went really well. Have my big boot beside the bed.....and now I'm going to sleep a little. See ya later ((( hugs )))

neshema2 · neshema2

one of my two BFF's since girlhood had a sister whom i really really liked....when the abuse from older brother (whom I dissociated from) got real bad with his getting drunk and kicking in my little apartment door, and I couldn't stay w/ "S", my buddy, her big sister, Janet, always took me i...

Spur · Spur

How do you work through this issue; the constant envy of people who are happy? I see couples my age or older, happily married and enjoying each other's company. The Facebook posts about how their spouse is their best friend and they couldn't imagine life without them. And I sit here completely alon...

andromeda · andromeda

I am ready to file for divorce! I am so DONE! I'm not going to rehash the past so I'm just going to say this has been my prayer this week, "God, I am done. I cannot continue to live like this anymore. If you have different plans for me, please show me a sign, speak to me, and tell me otherwise. But, fo...

Luiza · Luiza

Hi. I have been reading here everyday but not participating much, just concentrating really hard on myself now that STBX is preparing to leave. We have 15 more days to go and it seems ages! Times always fly but since he decided to move and (I) found accommodation for him, the time seems to be passing slow...

sookie · sookie

UGH--I come back to this fear again and again. my (separated) AH is on probation...he claims he has been sober for about 10 months and I finally finally finally let my kids go to his apartment (after 3 years of not letting them go there....) I am so paranoid...he seemed a LITTLE off today--mannerisms an...

neshema2 · neshema2

hey all this am I go to the "lion's den" and i am smiling, "good mornings" and i am holding my tendonitis arm and wife asks me "you hurt your arm???" I says, "yea, my grandson thinks i am a tree and i pick him up wrong and i pulled a tendon in my arm" (not lying...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I'm at school today. I managed to negotiate an extra week now, by saying that I cant get the place emptied or cleaned unless I have a little extra time. So now I have to pay for it but it has eased the pressure a bit. So today I decided to come to class even though I have missed 2 weeks and haven't submitted any a...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

For some unknown reason, yesterday I felt like a dark cloud was hovering above me and following me throughout the day. It was just one of those days where I just had the blues, I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so down. When I got home from a long day at work, I started thinking about what might be causi...

grateful2be · grateful2be

More than a year ago, I posted a thread on a horrible experience I had had with an oral surgeon and the need to return to my dentist for more painful work on a molar the surgeon had broken while I was under and discovered later at home when the Novocain and sedatives wore off and I removed the gauze from my mou...

rainbow · rainbow

My ex A has been trying really hard to make up for what happened the other week when he lost his temper. He even apologised to our grandson which shocked me. He didn't apologise to me because he thinks that if I didn't play into the drama it would not have turned into a melodrama. I don't buy that of course, a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Messages from Mother today. It's not very good that I am "making" my daughter leave her school and all her friends, she needs stability. And do I realise she has to leave her youth group too, the poor kid, its so unfair for her and so on. The stuff about how she hopes I don't plan on staying ther...

Tiff314 · Tiff314

I've posted here before but it was once and has been quite some time ago. Just got back from a very short road trip to visit a new guy who lives two hours away. He's moving to LA in a few weeks. We're only friends at this point (2nd date, really) and I got back this morning after staying there for two nights....

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Hi all. . Im checking in and updating. Ive been away from here far too long. The summer went better than usual. . Nit sure why. . Ah is still drinkng as ever, i am not. Im still raising our daughter pretty much alone guess the biggest difference was the lack of fighting. Thats good and all but i think its bexa...

overwhelmed1982 · overwhelmed1982

New here, and as the name states, overwhelmed! in a relationship with my A for 4 years now. I guess as it stands I cant take any more. I've had it all: theft from me and my family, a refusal on his part to find work, complaints i don't trust him (ha) in and out of detox, rehab and courts. verbal abuse. blame for...

Lyne · Lyne

I am pleased to report some progress. Today my A was supposed to have a physical with her doc. She is at a life threatening weight and sleeps about 12-14 hrs per night whenever possible. (Could be the alcohol but she doesn't have a drinking problem.) She told me what time she planned to get up but did n...

Sam813 · Sam813

So my brother is a recovered addict sober 1.5 years after 10 years of using he is 25. His drug use left him mentally disabled. This is my hugest loss. My brother is a shell of what he once was. He is bipolar psychotic now, and goes through long periods of psychosis where he can't handle much. My parent...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hi alanoners Tomorrow I go back to the job where the boss thinks I am not a mom....I will go with a smile on my face...if wifey asks me what i did over weekend, i will proudly say i hung out w/my daughter and leave it at that..nothing more.......if the jerk says anything , I will say "i give respect and...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Today's C2C reading encourages us to forgive rather than to hang on to old hurts, bitterness, resentments. As I progressed in the program, I learned that I reinjured myself by nursing memories of things I'd done that hurt myself and others or what others had done in relationship to me. The actual ev...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm divorced, .. I'm divorced, .. I'm divorced .. I'm divorced and yes .. LOL .. It was seriously touch and go until the last second!!! Hugs S :)

el-cee · el-cee

Right now, in this moment and for the last few months I have lived in peace.My home is so quiet and peaceful, if you ignore the fact I live right next to a main road that is. I hope i haven't jinxed it. Just being able to relax and not be tense waiting on the next crisis to hit or the next argument to erupt. I have...

lookingup · lookingup

My day started off great I've started a class sorta like a 12 step class we as a group talk about and learn things dealing with the steps very enjoyable,now for the bad day part I had a slip I guess u might call it my xabf kept texting to come over and visit with my dog that he always loved so much,bad bad thing f...

Advocate_For_Steve · Advocate_For_Steve

Hello family!Have I got a story for you! Almost a week into the process of making her amends, my A fiancé finally made her way around to me. I didn't expect to be the first one she made amends to, but I was surprised that I wasn't, since I've been told you should do the amends you are most nervous about first,...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Relapsed (Preview) I've relapsed and it don't take much for me to go off into a mad frenzy i e ended up haveing his guts,then somehow there must be a tiny light there somewhere that keeps letting him back into my life I've been around him only 2days and it's been a exploding argument .wheres my alanon tools at.? I don't deserv...	lookingup	5	426	Oct 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	Newlife girl (Preview) couldn't do this in pm hope it is ok here. Here are brother and sister Maddie and Saber. Ex cons, brokem out a few months ago!	Debilyn	5	270	Oct 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	What might happen if... (Preview) We started saying that thousands of people with the disease of alcoholism are able to live happy, sober lives each year with help? Every time I read that only a small percentage of alcoholics are able to get and stay sober, I find myself wondering if those reading our posts - alcoholics and codependen...	grateful2be	18	687	Oct 21, 2014 by pinkchip
	prayer (Preview) When I pray which isn't often enough, I feel a sense of peace. It doesn't have to be a fancy prayer. It just has to mean something. Like the serenity prayer or please help me. Or God I can't do this alone. Thank you for being patient w/ me. I really started to pray more when I was ready for the 11th step. "...	Hoot Nanny	5	450	Oct 20, 2014 by cloudyskies
	He gone for passports now. (Preview) So after the kitchen stuff, pictures and paintings, some furniture and even kitchen salt, STBX now took daughter's passports.. I opened the drawer were I keep important documents and my passports are there and daughter's aren't. I called the non emergency police number and they advised me to go to a...	Luiza	17	600	Oct 20, 2014 by PP
	Newbie (Preview) So this al-anon thing is pretty new to me, however, my mothers drinking is not. She has been drinking heavily for 12 years or so that I can remember, although recently I have been made aware that she was drinking when I was a child. She had cancer a few years ago and been advised to give up caffeine and alcoh...	Lemissa	4	495	Oct 20, 2014 by pinkchip
	sad face. (Preview) I have a friend living near my mum, we were best friends in high school and have stayed in touch on facebook, always making plans to see each other, but it's so far so it never happens. So I was thinking to myself today, you know what, that is a big silver lining. When I am there, I can go see my friend, that wil...	missmeliss	21	691	Oct 20, 2014 by cmb
	Why do people in Alanon say relapse is a part of recovery. (Preview) I have 6 years sober. Never relapsed since starting to go to AA. Most of my peers in AA with any length of sobriety state relapse is not an option for them either. I can understand that in alanon, it helps to keep expectations of the alcoholic low, BUT if one of my sponsees in AA relapsed and tried to tell me i...	pinkchip	19	1118	Oct 20, 2014 by Flower49
	grief and helplessness (Preview) My husband has been through rehab twice. We married a year later. He has not continued with therapy or AA, despite his assurances to the contrary. It has been a struggle this past year. He has developed an affinity with pot, honestly just at night due to sleep, which was a precipitating factor for hi...	BE0906	9	682	Oct 20, 2014 by BE0906
	I'm hurt I'm pissed I'm lost because I will NOT make it right (Preview) I get a call this afternoon. My son got the crap beat out of him and the counselor said he was not to blame. He was put into detention for his own safety and will be moved when they find him somewhere to go. OK now I can only see him behind glass because HE DID NOTHING WRONG......he is isolated because he...	Cathyinaz	18	766	Oct 20, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Controlling him by not drinking myself (Preview) Prior to learning the precious wisdom of AlAnon, my AH had a very very bad drinking "event" shall we say, and myself and his father were present and an agreement was made that if AH stopped drinking we would too, to support AH. I NOW KNOW this was wrong, and it was an attempt to control and mana...	gingerfizz	12	544	Oct 20, 2014 by andromeda
	So it starts .. (Preview) To say I have had a lot going on this weekend is an understatement .. LOL .. it's all good, I slapped a band aide on it and hopefully I can set it to heal sooner than later. I will really have to watch myself and figure out my own discipline of works and doesn't .. I'm definitely a toddler when it comes to being...	SerenityRUS	3	542	Oct 20, 2014 by andromeda
	Thrown for a loop (Preview) Just as I feel I am making progress towards a new life, I get smacked with a rock in the road. This one is a boulder. My AH and I have lived apart for over 14 months. Up until now, my mind has been pretty clear on my path. My HP has been great at keeping me on track. I began the divorce process last month but,...	Tossed Salad	13	692	Oct 20, 2014 by pinkchip
	I'm new here (Preview) Hello Everyone, Im happy to meet you all! I'm not new to the problem of alcoholism. I live with my AH -married 25 years and have finally decided it was time to jump off the denial train and start detaching myself from his problem. My husband crossed the line into addiction about 6 years ago becoming pr...	Jupiter	6	598	Oct 20, 2014 by Jupiter
	odaat (Preview) Baffling and cunning. Since putting my recovery to the fore,I've noticed a lot of guilt mists the edges of me. I feel guilty about releasing responsibility even when carryin all of it alone fails.there have been two topics that, leap out well actually three. Fear,isolating and playing martyr.havi...	aquamom23	3	352	Oct 20, 2014 by aquamom23
	Pinging Cathy (Preview) Hey sugar muffin, hows the foot doing???? Hope it is healing nicely.....sending healing hugs.........	neshema2	14	360	Oct 20, 2014 by milkwood
	UPDATE on the "for old times sake post" Now I know (Preview) Well I guess i didn't lose anything....as illustrated by email exchange below should have put this on new thread......oh well its here and the original.....i wasn't thinking HIS EMAIL TO MEHIS "AMEND" to me when I called him out as illustrated in my letter to him, re: his calling me at wor...	neshema2	14	450	Oct 19, 2014 by neshema2
	uncertain (Preview) I have been feeling so lost lately. I have a BF that I have been with for the past 6 months and he drinks. He was sober for a month but has been on a drunk again for 3 days now. I thank god I have an apartment to go to. I tried to live with him, but it has not worked out. Now I have most of my belongings at his home and I h...	joker	4	428	Oct 19, 2014 by Fairlee
	a me share/ pictures (Preview) Lotsa thoughts, goals, tenseness. I put an ad on CL for a pet bovine. I pictured an old dairy cow. This gal answers my ad. My dream is a Jersey mini Steer. She offers me a Jersey mini steer, seven mo. old. A friend wants to get it for me. My life has been blessed that all my dreams have been realized....	Debilyn	9	1311	Oct 19, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Dreams...? How to interpret it? (Preview) I sometimes get freaked out by dreams. The other day I dreamed about a friend telling me that the little 4.5 year boy I look after since he was 2months old will die. Now, I receive a message from my aunty telling me that since the 1st of September, she has been having horrible dreams about my daughter and I...	Luiza	13	552	Oct 19, 2014 by grateful2be
	nearly had a heart attack ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Sorry to bring this here but I need help. I just saw a mouse. Seriously, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I was lying on my bed and I saw something fast out of the corner of my eyes. Then there it was bold as brass just looking at me. I started screaming. Seriously, how am I going to go on with my life? Im not enteri...	el-cee	65	1157	Oct 19, 2014 by el-cee
	No such thing as patterns? (Preview) Hi all, I've not posted for a while, but have been keeping up with everyone. I've been working really hard on my program & going to meetings when I can. AH has been better lately, or maybe I've been better at detaching, either way for the most part I have found some serenity. But in the course of trying...	Tash2	6	696	Oct 19, 2014 by neshema2
	HUGE relapse tonight. (Preview) Well tonight was the worst night ever. Huge violent relapse. I am numb alone in bed with my son and he is drunk passed out on the floor. all because my family is sick of his bs. And so am I, he asks like he walks on water. I hold all the stress and wait. He works and comes home. I work. I am a mom. I am the house mom. I...	Meehan512	8	554	Oct 19, 2014 by Beatrice
	New here....where to start? (Preview) Hi it's my first time on this board. My husband of 10 years drinks heavily and it is becoming intolerable. We have 2 children aged 9 & 6 and it is starting to impact in their lives. Mostly through our rows about his drinking but also he is now often drunk in front of them. The problem is, he is what you mi...	BS4MR	8	407	Oct 19, 2014 by neshema2
	I think my old mate has isolated (Preview) I sorta suspected that my BFF would "go under" her daughter is with her, i know for fact, even tho i get VM when i check up on them, she is there but she doesn't answer the phone...... Nothing I can do but wait till "S" feels like talking...she isolates when severely hit with someth...	neshema2	5	512	Oct 19, 2014 by neshema2
	grateful challenge SUNDAY (Preview) Ok this week wasn't such a happy one, but nevertheless i still can find things to be grateful for I am grateful that the weather is still nice my kids and dogs are healthy I am healthy and this strap i have for my tennis elbow is enabling me to use my left arm Daughter #2 and i are getting on fine and are seeing q...	neshema2	0	246	Oct 19, 2014 by neshema2
	Choices. (Preview) I need to stop thinking of myself as a helpless passenger and remember, my choices brought me here. The journey isn't done and we're kind of in the woods now but that's OK, I'm still in motion. I chose not to continue being a victim or a life support system to A's disease. I chose not to keep sleeping with s...	missmeliss	14	805	Oct 19, 2014 by andromeda
	Making progress...I think! (Preview) AH had a business meeting at church tonight. I was going anyway, so I picked him up and we went together. For the first time ever I was not worried about the smell of alcohol or his red eyes or slurring words...I had no anxiety about him or the state he was in...i owned "me" and let him be "hi...	Fairlee	8	498	Oct 19, 2014 by hotrod
	it is okay to be me. (Preview) I was struggling w/ my identity for so long thinking who am I? I am just a soul getting through life on a wing & a prayer. I am sometimes confused & feel like I am not quite there. But as someone says in a meeting, I am here because I am not all there. I am not afraid as much as I was. Still crowds of people...	Hoot Nanny	6	409	Oct 19, 2014 by hotrod
	"For old times sake" just does not work anymore (Preview) Once upon a time I had a very good recovery friend, was on his recovery site for a long time, we were like a little family...My first taste of aca and alanon and i grew to love many members, especially this guy and an older guy who founded the site with him...We did some great recovery work together...I cut...	neshema2	13	533	Oct 19, 2014 by neshema2
	Trying to let go/let god (Preview) Why is it so hard to let go? My dry ah has been gone for three months and my pain is still so fresh. Now we are getting into the financials and he is playing games. Holding out his checks but using our funds to pay his helper. Not the behavior of someone that wants to go to mediation with me. We have no children...	Mirandac	5	498	Oct 19, 2014 by Mirandac
	I messed up .. UGH .. (Preview) Apparently I like big messes in my life .. for once I don't want to get into detail .. just please say some prayers for the kids and I .. it's all going to be ok .. I just am not sure how it's all going to turn out and it's not good .. I'm not going to minimize it .. it is what it is and I will have to face the consequenc...	SerenityRUS	12	610	Oct 19, 2014 by el-cee
	new (Preview) My divorce is going to happen my exAH is paying for it. He wants to marry the 24 yr old at our church back home...lol I wished him the best of luck and told him I hope he has a nice life. Their isn't much I can or want to say. I have adjusted well to my new town and job :) I have been dating this one man for a couple of w...	texasgal	9	409	Oct 18, 2014 by andromeda
	Something I wanted to share (Preview) is this beautiful or what??? when i doubt there may be a HP or universal power most high, and i see something like this...... may HP of each person's understanding bless and nurture and protect this group and all its brothers and sisters from any enemies that hold us back from releasing and enjoying th...	neshema2	10	2564	Oct 18, 2014 by Jerry F
	Job Choices ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Not sure how related this is to Alanon but - probably one of the biggest amends I made to myself when getting sober was obtaining my professional license that allowed me to get better jobs with higher pay. Since being licensed, I have literally worked at 4 different places. I have been licensed since...	pinkchip	52	1338	Oct 18, 2014 by pinkchip
	slogan THINK (Preview) the topic in our meeting last night was think. I can tend to over think obsess. Yet sometimes I react rather than THINK and respond. My mind is a dangerous place to go alone. ( better to ring an al anon friend and reason something out). before al anon my thinking was stinking it still can today but my al anon...	Tracy	5	386	Oct 18, 2014 by Fairlee
	She's Pretending She Cares about Me (Preview) OK so it's the first day back at work since giving my resignation. I just want to keep my serenity, get through the next two weeks and just get out. I'm just trying to mind my own business until I go. So this woman who is the head of the department I'm assigned to comes to my desk. She got in my face for no real...	tiredtonite	16	804	Oct 18, 2014 by PP
	Home (Preview) Home from the hospital....it went really well. Have my big boot beside the bed.....and now I'm going to sleep a little. See ya later ((( hugs )))	Cathyinaz	15	348	Oct 18, 2014 by neshema2
	A friend passed (Preview) one of my two BFF's since girlhood had a sister whom i really really liked....when the abuse from older brother (whom I dissociated from) got real bad with his getting drunk and kicking in my little apartment door, and I couldn't stay w/ "S", my buddy, her big sister, Janet, always took me i...	neshema2	10	433	Oct 18, 2014 by neshema2
	The Envy Of Happy People (Preview) How do you work through this issue; the constant envy of people who are happy? I see couples my age or older, happily married and enjoying each other's company. The Facebook posts about how their spouse is their best friend and they couldn't imagine life without them. And I sit here completely alon...	Spur	28	1186	Oct 18, 2014 by hotrod
	Quick question ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I am ready to file for divorce! I am so DONE! I'm not going to rehash the past so I'm just going to say this has been my prayer this week, "God, I am done. I cannot continue to live like this anymore. If you have different plans for me, please show me a sign, speak to me, and tell me otherwise. But, fo...	andromeda	43	917	Oct 18, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Need to talk to someone. (Preview) Hi. I have been reading here everyday but not participating much, just concentrating really hard on myself now that STBX is preparing to leave. We have 15 more days to go and it seems ages! Times always fly but since he decided to move and (I) found accommodation for him, the time seems to be passing slow...	Luiza	8	581	Oct 17, 2014 by Kerrymom
	Feeling scared about leaving kids with the AH (Preview) UGH--I come back to this fear again and again. my (separated) AH is on probation...he claims he has been sober for about 10 months and I finally finally finally let my kids go to his apartment (after 3 years of not letting them go there....) I am so paranoid...he seemed a LITTLE off today--mannerisms an...	sookie	18	553	Oct 17, 2014 by Kerrymom
	detachment and NON engaging (Preview) hey all this am I go to the "lion's den" and i am smiling, "good mornings" and i am holding my tendonitis arm and wife asks me "you hurt your arm???" I says, "yea, my grandson thinks i am a tree and i pick him up wrong and i pulled a tendon in my arm" (not lying...	neshema2	3	338	Oct 17, 2014 by PP
	Hellooo (Preview) I'm at school today. I managed to negotiate an extra week now, by saying that I cant get the place emptied or cleaned unless I have a little extra time. So now I have to pay for it but it has eased the pressure a bit. So today I decided to come to class even though I have missed 2 weeks and haven't submitted any a...	missmeliss	10	574	Oct 17, 2014 by Luiza
	HALT- Using my Al-Anon Toolbox (Preview) For some unknown reason, yesterday I felt like a dark cloud was hovering above me and following me throughout the day. It was just one of those days where I just had the blues, I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so down. When I got home from a long day at work, I started thinking about what might be causi...	Green Eyes	8	914	Oct 17, 2014 by Hullibee
	Returning to a classroom (Preview) More than a year ago, I posted a thread on a horrible experience I had had with an oral surgeon and the need to return to my dentist for more painful work on a molar the surgeon had broken while I was under and discovered later at home when the Novocain and sedatives wore off and I removed the gauze from my mou...	grateful2be	9	509	Oct 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	A new chapter or not? (Preview) My ex A has been trying really hard to make up for what happened the other week when he lost his temper. He even apologised to our grandson which shocked me. He didn't apologise to me because he thinks that if I didn't play into the drama it would not have turned into a melodrama. I don't buy that of course, a...	rainbow	8	538	Oct 17, 2014 by PP
	Not my circus. (Preview) Messages from Mother today. It's not very good that I am "making" my daughter leave her school and all her friends, she needs stability. And do I realise she has to leave her youth group too, the poor kid, its so unfair for her and so on. The stuff about how she hopes I don't plan on staying ther...	missmeliss	10	585	Oct 17, 2014 by pinkchip
	Feeling Sad and Down and Alone. And I Rarely Have "Bad Days" (Preview) I've posted here before but it was once and has been quite some time ago. Just got back from a very short road trip to visit a new guy who lives two hours away. He's moving to LA in a few weeks. We're only friends at this point (2nd date, really) and I got back this morning after staying there for two nights....	Tiff314	5	275	Oct 16, 2014 by Tiff314
	ive been away too long (Preview) Hi all. . Im checking in and updating. Ive been away from here far too long. The summer went better than usual. . Nit sure why. . Ah is still drinkng as ever, i am not. Im still raising our daughter pretty much alone guess the biggest difference was the lack of fighting. Thats good and all but i think its bexa...	Theoceancalls	7	370	Oct 16, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	intro (Preview) New here, and as the name states, overwhelmed! in a relationship with my A for 4 years now. I guess as it stands I cant take any more. I've had it all: theft from me and my family, a refusal on his part to find work, complaints i don't trust him (ha) in and out of detox, rehab and courts. verbal abuse. blame for...	overwhelmed1982	4	292	Oct 16, 2014 by cloudyskies
	you can teach old dogs new tricks (Preview) I am pleased to report some progress. Today my A was supposed to have a physical with her doc. She is at a life threatening weight and sleeps about 12-14 hrs per night whenever possible. (Could be the alcohol but she doesn't have a drinking problem.) She told me what time she planned to get up but did n...	Lyne	5	474	Oct 16, 2014 by andromeda
	Praying hard! (Preview) So my brother is a recovered addict sober 1.5 years after 10 years of using he is 25. His drug use left him mentally disabled. This is my hugest loss. My brother is a shell of what he once was. He is bipolar psychotic now, and goes through long periods of psychosis where he can't handle much. My parent...	Sam813	12	574	Oct 16, 2014 by Sam813
	Tomorrow, I see what lessons I learned (Preview) Hi alanoners Tomorrow I go back to the job where the boss thinks I am not a mom....I will go with a smile on my face...if wifey asks me what i did over weekend, i will proudly say i hung out w/my daughter and leave it at that..nothing more.......if the jerk says anything , I will say "i give respect and...	neshema2	4	455	Oct 16, 2014 by neshema2
	Forgiveness (Preview) Today's C2C reading encourages us to forgive rather than to hang on to old hurts, bitterness, resentments. As I progressed in the program, I learned that I reinjured myself by nursing memories of things I'd done that hurt myself and others or what others had done in relationship to me. The actual ev...	grateful2be	32	801	Oct 16, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'M DIVORCED!!!! (Preview) I'm divorced, .. I'm divorced, .. I'm divorced .. I'm divorced and yes .. LOL .. It was seriously touch and go until the last second!!! Hugs S :)	SerenityRUS	21	684	Oct 16, 2014 by milkwood
	Priceless Peace (Preview) Right now, in this moment and for the last few months I have lived in peace.My home is so quiet and peaceful, if you ignore the fact I live right next to a main road that is. I hope i haven't jinxed it. Just being able to relax and not be tense waiting on the next crisis to hit or the next argument to erupt. I have...	el-cee	6	502	Oct 16, 2014 by missmeliss
	A good and bad day (Preview) My day started off great I've started a class sorta like a 12 step class we as a group talk about and learn things dealing with the steps very enjoyable,now for the bad day part I had a slip I guess u might call it my xabf kept texting to come over and visit with my dog that he always loved so much,bad bad thing f...	lookingup	5	355	Oct 16, 2014 by grateful2be
	An Amends That Went Very, Very Sideways (Preview) Hello family!Have I got a story for you! Almost a week into the process of making her amends, my A fiancé finally made her way around to me. I didn't expect to be the first one she made amends to, but I was surprised that I wasn't, since I've been told you should do the amends you are most nervous about first,...	Advocate_For_Steve	13	695	Oct 15, 2014 by bud
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.