A little over 24 hours to go .. - Al-Anon Family Group

SerenityRUS · ~*Service Worker*~

A little over 24 hours to go ..

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

((SRU)) Still here and sending prayers!

You're doing a good job detaching and of moving forward in your own direction even though your STBAX is close enough to feel his chaos. When feelings start becoming an obstacle for me, I return to the facts- facts don't lie, as feelings sometimes can. The fact is that the universe does not revolve around him even when he doesn't see it that way. Same with the blame thing, the A can blame all they want, spin in their downward spiral, and do whatever it is that they do- but this doesn't have to be our story too. The behavior is annoying and difficult to say the least; it will start feeling better as you become more and more untangled from it. Also, I have found that others do see the dynamics and I have positive feelings about your court outcomes.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

I don't know why your STBXAH doesn't want to let go. I do know that the night before my divorce, even though I wanted it, I sobbed alone in my living room as my children slept and my own heart broke open. The gut wrenching tears took me by surprise and I wept for as long as it took. By morning, I set my face and my feet firmly in the direction of doing what I saw I needed to do and met my lawyer for the short walk to the courthouse where I stood side by side with the man who I knew in ways no one else knew him. When the judge asked me if I loved him, I said "no," and that really wasn't true. I can remember my "x's" body turning in emotional pain when he heard that one word towards me and his disbelief was written all over his face. He couldn't believe that I said "no" to answer the judge's question because he knew that I did although I thought I'd hidden it well. I did what I needed to do for all of us with a love that released him from a marriage he didn't really want and a family he couldn't really provide for and a woman he feared rather than loved. The judge declared our marriage dissolved and I left the courthouse on the arm of my attorney filled with joy - a fact that surprised my attorney who told me that he'd never counseled anyone who left a divorce court joyfully. I told him: "I feel joy because I'm going to live." I hope your own experience of divorce will also be one in which you experience feeling the joy of releasing yourself and someone who is too sick to keep up his part of the contract you both made together. I hope you will relish and savor the knowledge that following the divorce you will experience yourself as totally free to live and let live.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 14th of October 2014 07:43:57 AM

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Prayers, Serenity. I wish peace for you and the joy of Gratefuls experience. I wish that for your soon to be ex, too.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Prayers to you, Serenity. Your nearly there pal.x

SerenityRUS · ~*Service Worker*~

Ironically PP .. so do I .. I wish him well, I just wish him well from afar .. I don't wish to be tied to him anymore. It baffles me because honestly, my feelings towards him as the father of my children are pity and disbelief .. I have feelings of indifference towards him as a person. The love has been long forgotten I guess. Whatever feelings of love I had towards him are gone and I don't hate him either. The problem is I'm now fired up and what I'm angry about is his insistence this is going to continue .. and if he wants it to continue then by God let's let it continue. I'm hoping when we get to court tomorrow his atty will look at him and say .. just give it up .. this woman is unlike any woman I have seen before and you will leave her alone.

My mourning of the marriage and what could have been have been gone for years literally now. I have new dreams with new futures and it will be wonderful to move forward without the chains that bind :)

Hugs S :)

PS - I"M ALMOST THERE!! WOO WOOO WOOO WOO!!!

Jackie11 · ~*Service Worker*~

You are almost there! biggrin

Spur · Senior Member

Congrats Serenity, you are mere hours away from a brand new future free of the burdens of an alcoholic spouse. You have done well. I can't wait to hear how your life unfolds and what opportunities you grasp beginning tomorrow.

Grateful, thank you for your share.

Green Eyes · ~*Service Worker*~

Sending you lots of ESH. Let go and let God.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

After all you have been through I sure hope you get the outcome you need. I know I have been shocked sometimes what my HP has come up with It's always not what I thought.

I also hope big time they don't change the court date. I have been super stressed during evicting people, ones that were meth addicts and nuts. Want them gone and bam they reschedule.

So I hope you can put it in HP hands. You have worked hard doing your part! We are with you in spirit! debilyn

aquamom23 · Senior Member

Prayers and admiration for your new chapter( Serenity)

blessed · Senior Member

Bud, that is good ... FACTS DON'T LIE. When I get in a place where I think, "Maybe...." I have to make myself remember the years of mental and emotional abuse and I quickly snap out of that mindset.

(((hugs )))) to you Serenity. I am just separated, so still have to go thorugh the "d" part, but I am just resting right now and not worrying about any of that. I am in a different state (Georgia from Virginia), and at peace. That is enough for now.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Thinking of you on "D" day, Serenity. I'm also sending a lot of positive energy your way and prayers for everyone involved, too.

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