Who knows what goes on in the minds and hearts of others? The good news is that you know what is in your mind and in your heart. In 9 days, you're free. And you won't have a sad face going out the door.

Your workplace sounds like a toxic soup of dysfunctional people. I applaud you for being a true professional in your environment. Just keep smiling and be true to yourself. Soon you will be free of the whole lot of them.

I like a ham sandwich! A gift certificate to one of those foot massage places? I think in Jeopardy they are called "parting gifts". You could use one of those.

Kenny

Tt, this must happen the world over. There are 3 people in my life going through this right now. One friend of mine, got herself another job and left, she still suffers from anxiety attacks but is on the mend. Another friend and colleague is on the sick with stress, she says she is never coming back but is taking the emplyer all the way to court if necessary. My sister is the other person who suffered bullying at work, shes still not over it even though changes have been made. Im really happy for you that you got yourself out of a toxic environment that was hurting you.x

Thanks for the laughs and encouragement.  They've already posted my job and I only gave my notice last Friday.  The toxic people on the team I'm assigned to are acting out all over.  They're really trying to call attention to themselves and put themselves in a good light with higher ups and particularly my former manager and former team members - acting real chummy with them, lots of laughs behind closed doors. I'm doing the best job I'm capable of folks and detaching as best I can. Of course I need to stay out of other people's heads but I can just hear this director going on to my former boss innocently asking where she might have gone wrong with me and what makes me tick.  Meanwhile behind closed doors she unleashed her anger on me. Oh well, I'll see what comes next.  I am counting the days.  Funny thing happened, I got an email to interview yesterday while all the gaffawing was going on. I was surprised to see it because I hadn't applied recently for that job. They have gotten in touch with me twice and hired me twice (the last time was about a month ago). I refused the job for a second time because I just wasn't ready to leave my current workplace.  They were inquiring again, would I come for an interview.  I am interviewing on Friday.  It's a temp job and not the my dream job but it would be a foot in the door. I'm guessing they reached out again without my applying because they are having trouble keeping people in these positions.  It could be something until the right thing comes along if they hire me.  It would also mean that I could send my good bye email at work stating I have a new position I'm going to. That would certainly be nice. 

HP must be with me because I clean up their messy dept. at break neck speed and I actually wonder if it's making them angrier at me because I'm competent and dumping them. Hey, I wish it could be different. Who wants to uproot themselves and venture out into the unknown but it's not different and it is highly toxic to my spirit and likely my health.  I felt a wave of grief today as I instant messaged my friend at work that I would miss working with her. She said I wouldn't because I would join her outside the office at events and we would continue to have the fun we've always had. Truth is she's out more than in the office working so she's probably right. I know these feelings will pass as soon I'm away from the place and not confronted with the daily antics. Sigh... How many more days is it now?  I've only told two people at work. I want to visit with my old boss and tell her I'm leaving.  Not that she hasn't already been gossiped to but of course I have to put that entirely aside and say my good byes to her.  Well thank you ((((((everyone)))))  I should go check on bf. He left work a few hours after starting because he felt sick. I think the grief of losing both his parents in such a short time is catching up to him.  Thanks for letting me share with you.  By the way, I really do like the humor because this woman I mentioned in my post is such a primadona so thank you for helping me laugh until I'm out of there.  TT

 

Thanks (((grateful))) I'm going take your words to heart. Admittedly, I'm not at the "wishing them blessings" stage yet. I am almost through week 1 though and going to lunch tomorrow with one of my coworkers so that will be fun.  Bf stayed home from work today. Thanks for sending good wishes.

I saw someone from my old dept. and after typical greetings she told me that my old boss really misses me a lot. I said that was very nice to hear. My face must have told the truth though because she said .. well things have just changed (referring to our new company structure).  She went back to the big meeting of my old dept. was having and I rushed off to the ladies room and sobbed. When I worked for my old boss I was safe from the dysfunction. In the division, she was respected and healthy and had some clout. Now so much has flipped to the point that she lost me in the structural mess and I've almost lost myself.

You're right grateful... there is no room to grow there not professionally or personally for me any longer. And you know what happens when your roots keep growing but there's no place for them to stretch out comfortably?  You get a crackedpot   OK maybe I just need some sleep - was up and down with bf being sick last night.  Thanks for letting me share.  TT

Yesterday, I had lunch with one of my coworkers and came back to an email that the vp over the dept. to which I was assigned is no longer with the company. It was short and direct. As an Alanon who can quickly relapse into the thinking I had when I first came to the rooms, I began wanting to reason away the unkind, unfair and unjustified treatment I received. It's easy to want the uncomforableness of having been treated unkindly to go away and rationalize that the vp's "possible" poor leadership had a trickle down effect which may have resulted in poor treatment by his subordinates towards me.  I was working with a large team and others on that team who were in positions of authority were had the same vp.  I worked for them and they didn't take frustrations out on me. 

As much as I am sorry that all of this has occurred because it's resulted in my leaving before securing another job; I don't plan on making excuses for other people's nasty behavior.  My job is to look at my own behavior. I haven't exactly been gloating since this news came out that this vp's quick exit from the company.  Truthfully, at this point, I just feel sorry for all of us and have empathy for everyone concerned. 

I've spent this week working hard for them doing work they don't know how to do, work that's essentially supports and proves that they've been holding up their end things and working in spite of perhaps poor leadership.  I don't rule out that the unacceptable behavior of a few of them toward me is a replication of their manager's style of interacting with them. With that said, however, we're talking about adults with free will who made a conscious choice to use anger and intimidation rather than mutual respect. And although I didn't feed into that, I didn't accept it either which is unexpected and also considered unacceptable in this company's culture.  

My old boss in this company and I were a good fit for one another. I've since learned that her courtesy and professionalism is not typical within this company. I had little dealings outside of her dept. until this change to the new dept. due to the downsizing.  

Jerry, thank you. It's my belief that suggestion comes from a wholesome, mature and genuine place. I was called aside for innocently doing that in my former workplace and my friend got called out for giving her hubby who worked with us a guick hug and kiss as a greeting during her lunch hour on company grounds. I don't see a problem with it but sometimes others do.  I don't have a problem with giving her a hug, Jerry if she's open to receiving one just like any of my other coworkers. I try to always ask a person because I want to be respectful of people's personal boundaries. A lunch is being planned, if she joins that would be the place if she's open to it. It's been my experience in this company having watched so many leave, that hugs are extended by coworkers to the person who is leaving the company.  I can offer if she doesn't. I don't have any fear in that way.  Of course in the process of amends and forgiveness, we can only offer and let go of expectations.

I had an interview after work yesterday. It was the same interviewer who I sat with earlier in the year. I believe they are going to hire me. It's not permanent but it would be a six month contract.  I want to be thoughtful before accepting.  I have an interview with another company this coming week.  This is where fear takes over and lack of trust in hp. My impulse is to repeat old behavior of saying yes to situation where it would be best to say no. This is the third time that this offer may be coming my way. I refused it the twice prior.  The offer doesn't look any different now, my circumstances are. I need to weigh this and make a sound decision not a reactionary one.  I'm grateful I'm being called to interview but I'm working through shakey ground concerning my confidence in myself to be chosen outside this company for a job I would love rather than one that pays the bills.  Those feelings of it's tough to get hired and you should be glad they chose you who knows how long you'll be out of work if you don't take this, your old now, keep rising to the surface and I keep squashing them.  Hp we need to have a talk! :)   Thank you for letting me share with you.  (((hugs)))  TT