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To confront, or not to confront?
(Preview)
Hi, My boyfriend got serious about recovery a few months ago (he has a big heroin problem, along with alcoholism when he isn't using H). He was going to daily meetings, only hanging out with sober people, had a great sponsor, and was on a suboxone maintenance program. He was also on prozac for depressio...
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Sangyaa
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3
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840
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almost final
(Preview)
When my AH was wooing me, then we married, all we went thru with his brain surgery, my mothers cancer and death,I would never imagined I would be taking back my other name. I take in the last papers today. June 15, 10, the judge signs them. We were only married a small time, however we loved each other and we...
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lyndebi
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6
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645
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Back after a couple years
(Preview)
I'm not even sure I've ever posted here, but have read and lurked off and on for a long time. At least let me say thanks for you guys, and for all the support here! So, here I am, and I feel like I'm reaching the breaking point in my marriage again. I've done a few months of Celebrate Recovery at church and al...
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20sadyrs
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5
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1039
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Time to wake up and smell the alcohol
(Preview)
Hi guys. I will try to keep this brief and to the point. I do have a tendency to waffle. Last night I finally came to my senses and stopped denying the obvious. My partner has a drink problem and it is affecting my life as much as his. He was supposed to do the grocery shopping yesterday, but spent 5 hours and h...
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dimples
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4
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509
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Been a loooong time for me comming here
(Preview)
I just wish I felt the peace within its been a long time with that too. I just have to get some things off my chest on here that has been keeping me up tonight. I feel like I'm weakened by the dreadfull sickness. I been married 32 yrs. That was normal when we meet coz I lived it . We always put our money together t...
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peacewithin
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3
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634
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Blah = (
(Preview)
Just found out from a trusted mutual friend that my A has been drinking = ( Mind you he brags to me how he hasn't had a drink in 42 days, which in his eyes means, "the program isn't for him, he can do it on his own".... I can't say I'm surprised but it still hurts none the less... This diease rea...
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Hopeless
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16
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1185
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getting along again
(Preview)
So yesterday we both decided to stop arguing. We agreed we needed to get along if we are going to make this work. It was so easy to stop arguing and have been doing fine so far. We even had some small talk and finally had dinner together again. It feels so good. buick
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buick23
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4
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548
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Prayers for our MIP family members in the Gulf
(Preview)
((((Family))), As I listened to the sad news last night that the top kill method failed to stop the oil leak I couldn't help thinking about our MIP family members who live in that area. There are several that will be directly affected by this disaster, not to mention the ones who have yet to find their w...
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Karilynn
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2
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603
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New dishes
(Preview)
Today I bought myself new dishes. Last time I bought new dishes was to give myself a boost of pretty cupboards after one of my xAH's relapses. I know it was an odd thing to do but as we all know, you do what you need to. Anyway today I noticed that as much as I like my dishes every time I use them that nagging lit...
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Jennifer
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8
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815
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must be improving
(Preview)
Hi everyone one, I feel good. been down for couple of days but my slips do not seem to be lasting as long My A is of trying to fight the illness he had a slip 3 of days ago. He was very honest with me his sponsor rang and told me , he had been honest with his sponsor too. When my ABF did ring I told him I needed a bre...
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Tracy
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2
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454
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still living for the future
(Preview)
I find myself not being able to stay in the moment. I keep waiting for things to change before I can be happy. I know that goes against all the teachings of Alanon. I cannot give up the "what ifs". What if he never gets sober? What if he never moves away from me? What if he doesn't pay his child sup...
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Gailey
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7
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747
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I don't like reality
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I have not possed for abit been reading posts though. My ABf went into Aa a year ago. He was sober for 6 months he has been slipping on off for past 6 months always goes back to AA. A month ago had a bad slip for 3 weeks. Lost his best friend stole 15,00 from him. His kids turned their backs and I...
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Tracy
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5
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753
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My A-Family - totally unreliable
(Preview)
On friday after trusting my gut 100%, - first time ever I might add, I set off for an event in which I have invested a lot of time. My brother was supposed to come with me, but it all started to unravel last week, when I tried to firm up arrangements. He told me it was a long time off yet and that we would make arra...
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maire rua
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5
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752
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Honesty
(Preview)
I try to mostly work on my own honesty, and not obsess over others - i.e., is this person being honest or not. I found that in working with alcoholics, it's not really all that important to try and guess at everything they say and decide if it's true or not. The message is the same, my duty to pass on my expe...
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barisax
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10
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1038
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I MIGHT AS WELL SPIT IT OUT!
(Preview)
TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS: I WANT TO TELL YOU ALL WHAT KIND OF SURGERY I AM HAVING SO IT WON'T LEAD TO MORE SPECULATION! I AM POSSIBLY GOING TO HAVE BREAST REDUCTION SURGERY SOON! IT HAS BEEN VERY HARD TO EXPLAIN THIS TO OTHERS BECAUSE IT IS A VERY DELICATE ISSUE FOR ME! BUT I WILL SOLDIER ON TO THE CONSULTA...
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Hoot Nanny
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11
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841
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Please hear me out...(long...also about clonazepam)
(Preview)
I am writing this when I am very upset. I just don't know what to do anymore. My AH came to the house tonight furious with me. He had been snooping through my stuff once again and found old journals from years ago. He told me that it was not normal to keep these journals (b/c I had written about how I felt abou...
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looking_for_peace
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5
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580
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Alone
(Preview)
I am not sure wherre to begin... Are any of us? I am the adult child of an alcoholic who married an alcoholic. I first noticed a problem with him after we were married a few weeks. I found the first hidden bottle. A really big almost empty one. That started the viscious circle for us. I would get mad he would p...
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brandy w
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8
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826
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I have been like this for a long time
(Preview)
When I first came in Al-Anon exactly a month ago today I went believing it could help me to fix my relationship with my alcoholic girlfriend in recovery or at least fix her. Already during my first f2f meeting I realized that it was about me. Not us and not her. Ok. So I was under the influence of alcohol a...
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Cosmos
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3
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1156
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Still Need Time
(Preview)
I told my A mom a couple of weeks ago that I need some time and she needs to start counceling again before I can talk with her. She's been verbally abusive to me for the past month and a half. She just called me twice today. I didn't answer. The msg she left was a lie about her conversation with my brother-I t...
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cuteamy7
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5
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628
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Is this the place for me?
(Preview)
I have been reading the FAQ section and it says it is for dependents of alocholics. My husband is addicted to narcotics....I need some support b/c I'm driving myself crazy.
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df0309
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4
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625
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Lies, now he is in Jail! ugh
(Preview)
OK, so I was thinking that he was back on track. He was going to go back to work today. He is my fiance, he lives in another state. I have a trip planned and paid for to go there this coming Thursdsay. He sarted drinking last Monday night. (As I posted last week) From Wed on he sounded totally sober, and apolog...
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katfshh
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19
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1061
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Feeling Guilty???
(Preview)
The A has been relentless with me this weekend regarding wanting to borrow the car.. I've stuck to my guns by telling him no but he is not taking to it well, he is constantly calling asking... Now I know with having co dependency issues this is huge step for me but why do I feel so guilty?!?! Shouldn't I...
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Hopeless
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11
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976
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Codependency Recovery
(Preview)
I am wondering how many individuals here would consider themselves "dependent?" If you are not dependent now, have you ever been? How do you cope? Alternatively, how did you cope? Did you finally mature? I have a great problem relying on others for my happiness, and I tend to choose part...
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Not2bforgot10
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5
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6340
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Just venting
(Preview)
My AH hasn't eaten any solid food now for over 4 weeks. He looks dreadful - skeletal and and awful grey colour. (Maybe tinged with yellow but that maybe because I'm watching for it). He ought to be hospitalised on a drip but the NHS (we're in UK), I have learnt, just doesn't do alcoholism. It appears to be a...
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Tattyhead
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7
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1103
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How many meetings are expected?
(Preview)
A lot happened this afternoon when I met with my AH, but at least we both stayed civil. Anyways...he has left me with a burning question... He said that if I want to save our marriage, loved him and the kids...then I will be willing to attend more Al-Anon meetings. He told me that this is the only way I will l...
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looking_for_peace
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5
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930
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update
(Preview)
So since my last post we still have not had a talk, he's been spending most of his time away or outside. I have not complained about a thing. Last night we were supposed to have dinner together. Needless to say that did not happen. He came in to eat 2 hours after I ate. I hate to eat dinner alone. This morning I...
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buick23
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1
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489
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Dealing with Adult Son in Recovery
(Preview)
My adult son (22 years old) entered a 90 day treatment program a little over four months ago, across the country. He chose to go and has so far maintained sobriety. We are supporting him financially although he is sort of looking for a part time job (he has great difficulty following through on any tasks...
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oldshrink
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2
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755
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How do I learn to love and nurture myself?
(Preview)
I wanted to write because I am feeling really anxious right now. Tomorrow I am supposed to either take the train or rental car to Vermont (I am in Philly now living with my recent ex POA ("POA" is basically a past/present partner) and her father, paying a minimal amount of rent). I will be stay...
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Not2bforgot10
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5
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7174
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venting
(Preview)
So bf called me a stupid b**** a few days ago and am still hurt. After not talking for 2 days he tells me on a voicemail we need to talk when I get back home. I get home, no talk. I asked about it, he yells at me again. Told him today I mine as well find myself another place to live and he can stay here. Told him I don'...
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buick23
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3
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556
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New to all of this...
(Preview)
I'm not sure where to start really... My Mum died on Monday, she was 64 and an alcoholic, she died of liver failure and I am so confused as I have no idea of how to feel? She has been an alcoholic all of my life I guess although as a kid I didn't notice as much but the problems got worse as I reached my teens, our re...
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Katekat
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10
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809
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Listening to Thy Gut
(Preview)
Hello Everyone: I was reading a post tonight started by soxfan. The topic was based on listening to your gut feelings. I followed through with what my gut told me to do today. It was terribly difficult. We're divorcing; I initiated it some time ago (around 3 years back). Since he has difficulty fol...
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GailMichelle
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4
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827
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Good choice or Bad choice???
(Preview)
My A has been sober this time around for 2 weeks...he has been sober on and off since January. The benders only last a couple of days and then he comes around. Everytime he relapses i kick him out. His most recent relapse was mothers day and again he got the boot. His last use was that day. He wanted to c...
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soxfan
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7
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892
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just irritated and know better
(Preview)
I know my A boyfriends behavior is his own and I am supposed to focus on me and mind my own business but I'm having a hard time right now. The sneaking around the house hiding his alcohol and thinking I don't know what is going on (when he carries a bucket from the car to the shed so I can't see what is in it) is r...
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Holly09
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2
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635
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1st Post-Verbal Stress from Mom
(Preview)
Are there any other adult kids of verbally abusive/negative alcoholic mothers out there? I have lots of issues. She is bringing up stuff from 25-30 yrs ago when I was a teen. Fights with her. Anger with my father right before divorce. Saying I shouldn't love him because she doesn't. Saying I hate her...
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cuteamy7
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4
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850
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Who can attend Al-Anon meetings?
(Preview)
I have recently become sober -- 6 weeks--and I would like my husband to attend an Al-Anon meeting. I am not sure how he feels about going alone to a meeting. My father is a recovering alcoholic for 10 years, does that mean I can also attend with my husband? Thanks for your help.
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give me strength
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2
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835
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I AM DETERMINED--IT IS GONNA END!
(Preview)
I am way ready for this feeling to end! I am still struggling but I will still survive! I have been determined to get past the stress & anxiety I have been facing for almost 4 weeks now. For those of you who have been following my posts, it is still just a sleep issue but sometimes more than that! I am anx...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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806
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Memorial Day
(Preview)
(((((Family)))), Although to many this weekend is the official start of summer, let us remember the true meaning behind Memorial Day. May we pause for a moment to honor those who gave their lives in service to this country so that we are able to enjoy the family picnics, the ballgames and all that life h...
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Karilynn
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1
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537
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Here we go again....
(Preview)
haven't logged on or posted in a long time, me and my ah have been working on putting our lives back together. things have improved with him and the twins, but the drinking hasn't stopped and some days he drinks more than usual. tonight he got mad because i choose to go watch our son play 7/7 football and...
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Searching for Peace
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5
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783
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Ugh, mornings are rough...
(Preview)
My need to be with someone right now is overwhelming. I feel so alone, and in my warped thinking, I feel I need to be in a relationship, or at the very least, have sex with someone to make myself feel better. Last night I called an old girlfriend, who came by and we had dinner. I knew where my mind was, thank go...
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mclaughlin73
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7
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780
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Second Chance ?
(Preview)
My husband has been sober for 24 years. However, due to a recent back injury a few years ago he became addicted to pain medication. Addiction is addiction regardless of the drug. The same ugly cycle started all over again, the lies, the bills not being paid, him not working, the irresponsibility. ...
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Allee
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2
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882
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I am two people
(Preview)
Essgee sparked something for me. Yesterday I woke up feeling horrible. Very down, depressed, dreams about my dead husband, and mother etc. I physically feel ill. shakey. know I cannot be around people. Had a lovely NOT my disablility symptom happen. My head just cannot soften anything. Why am I even...
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lyndebi
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12
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857
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FREEDOM
(Preview)
A little over 5 years ago I fell in love. Come to find out one of "her" favorite words is freedom. I thought that it applied for the step I was taking in my life so I too adopted it as my favorite word. Every time, I said it, typed it, thought about it. I smiled. My heart felt happy cause it reminded...
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seekingserenity
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1
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918
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New here, can't stop crying
(Preview)
I reunited with an old boyfriend in Jan of this year. He was sober for 5 years, then started drinking again. Then this time he was sober for a year. He was going to AA meetings every day. Has a sponser. He told me how bad he needs to stay sober and how much he has been through. And how committed to his sobrie...
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katfshh
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13
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1011
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For the first time I stopped hearing my A and instead heard the quacking!
(Preview)
My A-fiance is so good at telling me what I want to hear, especially when I'm so upset and he can see that I'm thinking about my future and my choices. How did he get to be so good at this? He tells me he loves me more than anything, that he doesn't like who he is, that he knows he needs to stop, that he's so grat...
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zhotdogs99
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9
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881
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Manipulations
(Preview)
Hi all, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! lol I fell better now. Boy has it been a day and some of it my own making and some I don't know. I have posted before about the ex boyfriend. Was an "A" in recovery and then relapsed in April and that is when things ended for us. Well at the end of A...
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Mandy123
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7
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821
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Double winners question
(Preview)
For anyone that is in al-anon that has either been in AA first or gotten there afterward ... how do you know if your own alcohol consumption is a problem?
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White Rabbit
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8
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1595
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Need wisdom and experience
(Preview)
Friends, I first want to say that I am so grateful for all the responses and welcomes to this website. My hope and steadfastness increased tremendously as I read each reply and message I got. Thank you very much, I can't explain how much I appreciate you all and this website. This awareness is so new to me...
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mclaughlin73
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9
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863
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Hi everyone
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I have not been to this board for a while. I have started coming back now that I have a little time at night. Both of my parents are Alcoholic. The disease goes back 4 generations in my family that I can easily trace, and probably further. Aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins. My family is a t...
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mikeco
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6
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561
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Insight = )
(Preview)
I stepped out of my madness and reached out to a dear friend of mine who gave me some wonderful advice.. I realized some of the things I was doing wrong in the program I was taking on too much... I was practicing detachment, setting up boundaries,find my HP and focusing on myself (of course there is...
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Hopeless
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3
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873
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LIES, LIES and MORE LIES!!!
(Preview)
When does it end and when do they get it's not working anymore.... It's been a month since me and the A have been seperated and everything he says at this point is all lies = ( I'm almost offended that he thinks I'm that naive at this point... He called me at 7:15pm telling me he just got back from seeing an...
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Hopeless
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11
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1120
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Coming to grips...
(Preview)
Hi everyone, My name is Mike, and at the prodding of my therapist, I am going to get involved with my local Al-Anon meetings. I want to reach out to this community as well. I've read a few posts, and I like the how honest and expressive people are, and also that people respond with kindness, blunt truth, an...
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mclaughlin73
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10
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870
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Is his behaviour common-or am I really insane?!
(Preview)
-Asked AH to leave almost 2 months ago. -We have managed to be civil with minor ups and downs until now. -He is accusing me of a lot of weird things: *After he found out I cancelled our sponsored child (I did this to save money...long story), he was furious. He tried to renew the sponsorship and hasn't hear...
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looking_for_peace
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10
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1166
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A moment = )
(Preview)
It's amazing how such a simple act as calling your friend for a good laugh feels = ) I actually forgot that feeling since I was so consumed with the A and felt/prayed that him being in a good mood was my only way to happiness.... I'm so thankful for these little presents that I get ever now and then since I le...
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Hopeless
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2
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755
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The amends continues.
(Preview)
Aloha MIP Family....In a previous thread I spoke about a major relapse I had where I stepped way out of bounds on a complusive "fix binge" that took me by surprise (don't know why that is what I use to do on a regular basis with my very own alcoholic wife) and a couple of other people also. I did t...
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Jerry F
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13
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1178
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HURTING Again!
(Preview)
Hello everyone,I went to the chat room but no one was there so I am coming here to "talk" as I am hurting so much. As some of you have read before I have been going through this awful stuff we go through with my daughter who is 33 and has 2 kids. She has almost lost them to the courts several times and...
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Criket
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5
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711
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Sex issues---warning may not be for everyone to read
(Preview)
I am sure this has to have come up in posts along the way. I cannot seem to locate a way to search so I figure I would post and maybe someone can shed some light on things. I am not a prude by any stretch of the imagination. I am however, clear on how I want to be treated. Respect is important to me. Sex is more emot...
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FuzzyLogic
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21
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1656
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Struggling, but doing so willingly
(Preview)
Hi I wrote earlier about how I struggle to detach myself from my ex-girlfriend (in recovery in AA) after she broke up with me about a month ago. We are still not speaking and I am in the space where I absolutely dont know how she is. Thats the first time since I met her more than three years ago. Although I am f...
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Cosmos
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7
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883
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cops
(Preview)
called the cops on my h yesterday over verbal abuse of our son... I am in a trance... VEry confused.. a mixture of emotions... part of me wants to beg him to change into waht I want and the other just feels incredibly sad. As it stands now he is moving on 6/12.
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angelbreeze127
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9
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847
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Airing things out
(Preview)
I attended a great birthday meeting tonight. It was great for me to get out. I could have found a million excuses not to go... I'm stressed, tired, I had worked earlier today at my second part-time job, then when to an exercise class... I had laundry to do at home, I should get my lunches ready for the week....
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Aloha
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6
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575
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Sharing about My Son
(Preview)
My son is graduating from Law School tomorrow. He was six when his Mother and I were married. We hear lots of stories on this board about sons who have problems related to addiction or other problems, and my heart always goes out to them. But I felt I needed to to say something about my son, you notice I did...
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RLC
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14
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1182
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