The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
and am I AWFUL for in some ways...wishing it would? My brother has been binge drinking for almost 6 years now. He had a drug and alcohol problem long before that. The binge drinking has had him in and out of Inpatient rehabs, outpatient programs, sober houses, living in many different places with family/friends. He has been in jail, in the psych ward...you name it, he has done it. Off the top of my head he has been in 5 different in-patient programs, none of them successful. He goes to AA when he is sober. The binge drinking is taking its toll on his body. He has a heart problem now and often has alcoholic seizures.He is currently in a psych ward for being suicidal. Unfortunately he is also back East, with my parents who have never been able to stop "enabling" him. I think they know it may be his only chance of survival, if they cut him off, but they just can not. The way I am able to accept it and not get horribly angry at them is to think what I would do in their situation. If it were my daughter...would I be able to let go? I think we all know the end is very possibly near. My ex tells me to prepare myself....how do I do that? As my intro. sentence alludes....part of me wishes he would pass away so that the family could stop being put through hell and more importantly, so he could stop going through this pain and suffering. Relapsing every 2-3 months is not a life. It always ends up in detox with complications now. He drinks a TON to get the effects he needs. I know my story is the same as many others....but.....just am not sure what to do when it happens. I am going to fall apart, I know it. Having to tell my 11 year old daughter that Uncle John finally died of drinking too much alcohol will be the hardest thing in my life. I will stop here for now..........
Are u awful for thinking that ??? no your normal for those of us who live with alcoholism , we just want it over and we really dont care how .. or so we think . I know u dont mean that anymore than I did along time ago when I prayed for the insanity to stop . My husb now sober for many yrs always laughs and says thank God we werent both praying for me to die at the same time , He just might have heard us . Until the alcohlic says enough there is never enough , enablers help them drink and I was told that I helping him kill himself by always stepping in to save him . scarry thought huh ? Letting Go is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life , but it dosent mean to abandon it means to give him to God and allow him the dignity to live his life the way he chooses . Love h im accept who he is and have boundaries for your relationship , u can only work on your own relationship with him as your parents will continue to do what they think is best . dont be angry at them they simply dont understand what thier dealing with . Louise
Aloha Maine...welcome to the forum, the MIP board. You have found the right place for you as you might already have discovered by Abbyal's response. I will offer you what was given to me when I found myself in that very confused state you are in right now. Go find the hotline phone number for the Al-Anon Family Groups (Al-Anon) in the white pages of your local telephone book and call at once. If it is a recording listen for the meeting places and times available for you and get to the earliest one you can. When you get there get to the literature table and pick up as much literature about alcoholism that you can and the meeting may just have a newcomers packet for you. Read it all after you sit down inside the meeting and listen listen listen. Introduce yourself and tell them why you decided to come if there is an offer to do so and then plan to go back as often as you can in the next 90 days. Learn what we have learned in order to have a peaceful and serene life whether the alcoholic in our life is still drinking or not. And keep coming back to MIP. Alcoholism is a fatal disease which will also lead the alcoholic and other into insanity. It is described among other ways as being cunning, powerful and baffling. The alcoholic has three choices...Sobriety; insanity and/or death. (((hugs)))
You know Mainemom, you never know whats in store for the Alcoholic. They also have a higher power and have to follow their own path.
I wish I had a dollar for every waking moment that I worried and expected the worse for my XAH, 30 years of drinking, heart attack, diagnosed diabetic, suicide watches, falling out of his truck onto a main highway, paramedics at the door every week. Vomiting in his sleep and almost dying. I thought this man is doomed.
Until I finally let go, there was nothing else I could do, I realized finally after 26 years of marriage(took me a long time) it was out of my hands. It was scary to let go and finally realize with the help of this great program of Alanon, that I was powerless over the addiction.
Today the alcoholic is sober, being compassionate and loving a person, is really letting go and letting them do their life. Its the most difficult thing you will ever have to do, but you must do it for you also. This program is for the spouses and family members of an A, and we are suffering too. Please plan to go to a Face to Face Alanon meeting , it will literally save you. Wishing you strength, courage and hope. Luv, Bettina
Until the alcohlic says enough there is never enough , enablers help them drink and I was told that I helping him kill himself by always stepping in to save him . scarry thought huh ? 