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So, my AH doesn't have a car right know cause he got caught drinking and driving and they took his license plates. So, he started to borrow my car until at some poin it's more like his car. Last night he told me he needed the car and I told him no, but he kept pushing until I said yes, only cause he promised that if he wasn't done with his "meeting" or whatever the hell he's doing, he would bring the car over and leave again and continue to do whatever. Well, he got drunk and never came over with my car! He left me a message that I should take a cab, cause he couldn't take a cab himself cause he ahd his gun, but I have our baby and I have to drop her off. And don't even get me satrted on him having a gun, it's like giving a gun to a crazy person. He kept calling me in the morning still drunk, I think he's still drunk right know, so I don't know when I'm getting my car back and I just hope to God I get back in one piece. Honestly, I'm pissed at him, but I'm furious at myself. How the heck did I get to this again! This wasn't suppose to happen to me anymore, I'm supposed to know better and be better. Really guys I'm like what the hell is worng with me!! And what makes me even more angry is that in the back of my mind I already know I'm gonna forgive him. I can't even say for sure I won't let him borrow my car again cause I seem incapable of saying NO to this man. I'm just beating myself up cause you know the saying: Fool me once shame on you, foll me twice shame on me. Shame on me indeed.
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Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
Well my dear, it happends to the best of us. I just went back hoping things would be different and they weren't. You'll be done when you are done. Don't beat yourself up over it.
You see the truth - it may just take a while to accept it.
We are here for you.
tlc
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
Because your hoping that this time it will be different, but it never is. Sometimes we have to keep repeating the lessons until we learn.
It shows that you still have hope though. I have faith in you and know you won't do it again. The sky isn't going to fall because you say no. What is it about Priscilla, that she doesnt look after her own best interest. I have done enough people pleasing in my life and have gotten burned so many times it isnt funny. I bet you have a hard time saying no to everyone. Your right this is about you and only you can really look into yourself and find a solution.
I wish you strength, courage and wisdom for your life.
I was in the same situation in regards to the car and he was relentless I almost wanted to just throw the keys at him to shut him up but i didn't... He still bothers me about the car and it's been 3 weeks = ( They know how to push your buttons and they use it to manipulate you I've had to say this to myself over and over again so that I didn't give in! It's a nasty sick game they play always remember that and it may make the next time a little easier for you to say no and stick to your guns!
Sorry your going through this I know exactly what it feels like to feel like a failure when it's not even you that has the "problem".... Try and figure out a way to get your car back and start over = )
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Courage is not a roar. Sometimes Courage is the small voice at the end of the day that says "I'll try again tomorrow"
I'm sure the time will come when you've had enough. When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Maybe the thought that he could crash your car, kill himself or some innocent person may give you the strength you need to say "No".
They took the plate, not his license? What good does that do? weird
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I like the idea of taking the license plate! My exA has been driving on a suspended because of a DUI for over 2 years now. Kind of hard to see that little license is missing from their wallet from the cop car. Now the license plate - that is a little more obvious.
Brilliant!
tlc
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
I always must remind myself and my alanon friends that "Beating Myself UP is not an alanon tool. It is very destructive and only hurts us.
The best we can do is take an action and learn from the results. We all slip into denial and fantasy thinking when dealing with this baffaling powerful disease.
Being gentle with yourself and understanding that is is all a process enables us to learn from our days and move forward.
How familiar your story sounds. You are making progress because you recognize that he manipulated you again. It is a start. So, don't beat yourself up. Baby steps.... Get your car back, start a new day, and learn from this. I know one of my biggest problems is, I'm an optomist. In most ways it is good, but living with an alcoholic, it makes me feel really naive. I am always hoping for the best. I have been burned too many times to count. You would think I would learn.... But on the other hand, I don't want to change.... being optomistic about life is one of the things that got me through living hell..... and what would life be like without hope? Stay strong.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
He left me a message that I should take a cab, cause he couldn't take a cab himself cause he ahd his gun, but I have our baby and I have to drop her off. And don't even get me satrted on him having a gun, it's like giving a gun to a crazy person.
But on the other hand, I don't want to change.... being optomistic about life is one of the things that got me through living hell..... and what would life be like without hope? 
Stay strong.