The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. I really do understand your appreciation of AA and Alanon and the wonderful programs of love and understanding.
The fact that your son married had children and built a life for many years is a great tribute to his hard work. My son's story is so very similar to your son that it is startling. My son passed away May 6 2007 from an alcohol overdose. He had over 13 years recovery in AA relapsed and was lost within a few years.
The loss of a child is so very painful and you have my heartfelt condolences.
I probably will never now how close I came to losing my daughter, or how many times. Not sure I want to know the details. Once she was abandoned after an OD, and a stranger found her and called paramedics. I mentally prepared myself for the final shoe to drop for several years. Her recovery has been one of the ongoing miracles I've witnessed. She's coming right up on 15 years, but I know it's conditional upon the maintenance of her spiritual condition - and like her moment of clarity in jail, and everything before and since, it's her life and not mine. I can only be there, and listen.
I lost a good friend to alcoholism a few weeks ago. He was also a good friend to my daughter. He was sober a long time, had everything a man could want, but he dabbled with his disease and it crushed him like a truck running over a beer can on the highway. There's no safe haven other than to not play the game. Thankfully, the rooms of AA and Alanon are large and welcoming and one need never stray to have a full life.
This is for both of you , you are living our worst nightmare and my heart goes out to you both .. thank you for comming back and sharring with us . Louise
(((((RJ))))) don't ever forget where you can come for understanding and comfort and also a place to share your compassion with others from the same journey. Grief sadness and anger are only a few of the emotional consequences from the disease. In Al-Anon and MIP we can and do learn to look at the picture from different angles and arriving at other places of understanding and acceptance. I learned how to feel from the Ladies of Al-Anon...something I once thought was impossible for me a male who was always up in his head trying to analyze life so that I couldn't have to feel about it. Today I can let your story touch all those feeling buttons and my thinking buttons which allows me the opportunity to understand again and accept again. No doubt in a short while I will respond to your story with a loud "damn" and a frustrated tear of my own while keeping in mind that no matter the name or the physical makeup of the person...this disease is truely cunning, powerful and baffling and many can escape with the help of those who have suffered and stayed sane.
Keep coming back and thanks for sharing your journey it will keep me praying for those who are to come. (((((hugs)))))
RJ, Thank you so much for sharing. It must have been difficult to get to this point. I once came to accept that I might lose my child also. God bless you.
I'm so thankful to have you here with us. I'm also grateful that thru this program I was offered the reminder that has helped me maintain my sanity...the simple fact that I didn't cause it, can't cure it nor could I control another human beings disease. Please stay with us as we can all learn from one another. I too, have sons with this disease.
(((((RJ)))))) sincerest condolences on the loss of your son. My son has been mired in alcoholism since his early 20s (now 33) his life as a sober adult hasn't got off the starting blocks yet and it may or may never do.... I am powerless over it all and in Alanon I try to live my life one day at a time.
Thanks for sharing Keep coming back
Love, Ness x
-- Edited by Ness on Thursday 10th of June 2010 04:44:53 AM
