Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

gracealone · gracealone

Hi all, I am new to the boards and fairly new to this whole area. My husband has been drinking for well over a decade and we we have been together for 11 years. We had a pretty rocky marriage for many of those years, but then I got very sick with a debilitating illnesss. For many years I could barely get ou...

gracealone · gracealone

I gave a little of my story in my first post, but I am new to the whole "work the program" thing. I guess there are a lot of reasons I never took this step years ago. I was really afraid of his anger. I made some attempt to reach out for help, but was only offerd help for the marriage. But another...

willowtree · willowtree

I woke up this morning and opened up my Courage to change book and read the reading for the day. Talk about WOW! This really hit home for me and I wanted to share with you all in case you hadn't read it. To me it is truly beautiful! C2C for Aug. 9th pg. 222 Before coming to Al-Anon, I never felt I could be my...

Tigger · Tigger

Question 15 from step one in paths to recovery asks: "How have I sought approval and affirmation from others?" I'm wondering how others would answer this question. I know I have sought approval from others in the following ways: By being more like them. By agreeing with them or not speakin...

Oksie · Oksie

I still have times when my obsessiveness/thoughts obsession whatever you want to call it.. takes over my mind. I have triggers that I would like to work on one day, but at least now I recognise them as triggers and can address them. Yesterday....... my husband finished work early. He was home at 230 in...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I was re-reading Inc12's last post on Overwhelming week and then thinking about my old program teachers and their new "choices lessons". I remember as "What'll I do when..." meeting one night where a gal shared her newest response to her alcoholic's old demand to "Get...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

So it has been a couple months since I have written on here and I am hoping it is a good thing, because I never felt happier in life. Ever since my crack head ex boyfriend broke into my house, I have not heard from him at all. I pretty much forgot he existed. I have been so happy. I met a great guy who is only a frie...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Well, I worked my program pretty good in the face of his latest relapse. He tells me he was just having a bad day (he never admits using) but I know what I know. I have stopped trying to get confessions, it just doesn't work. When I said the other day that I felt like two steps forward, three steps back, someo...

Eddie1248 · Eddie1248

Hi everybody, I've only been a member here for a little over a month, but the beginning of my journey has been fruitful. I started out wondering if I should leave my AW. I decided, at everyone's advice, to stay and get help. At Tom's suggestion, I purchased Getting Them Sober. It was a fantastic first s...

conflicted222 · conflicted222

I fell in love with someone who turned out to be an alcoholic. I had no idea at the time of our "courtship" that he struggled with this sickness, and he was also in denial. He recently completed 6 months of treatment, and then when a conflict arose, he relapsed. He admitted that he sought tr...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I left my house on Saturday evening after a week from hell with a relapsing alcoholic. He has called me every day since then and invited me over for dinner. WTH????!!!!!!!!!!! I haven' answered his calls or called back but today he came into my office and left me an iced coffee. I didn't see him come in bu...

swiftshift · swiftshift

hey peeps. i'm quite shaken up right now and thought al-anon is the best place i can turn to for advice on this. i may post this on AA too to get advice from recovering AAers. hope that's ok. i've just discovered my fiancé (recovering) has a bit of a criminal past. i knew about one thing that happened (DUI...

LynnDz · LynnDz

I am the Mum of an alcoholic? He was in rehab for five months and was 8 years sober. We live three hours flight away from him. He came on holiday to us last week with his children and we discovered he was drinking. He controlled it somewhat while here, was in complete denial and bare-faced lied about drinki...

souljoy · souljoy

My AH started drinking again (he says for a month but I say longer). After almost 4 years of sobriety, he picked up. He started acting strange and like he was drunk a lot but I could never smell anything, find any alcohol in the house....come to find out he was getting beer and pouring it into N/A beer cans t...

atheos · atheos

Sometimes particular pages in a daily reader really grab me with what they have to say. Today I found a new one, on decision-making -- May 13 in Courage to Change. I find it much easier to risk making decisions when I stop thinking about suffering the consequences and remember that I have the option to en...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

My AH has been doing so well lately, but as I know this is cyclical and here we are again. He is agitated, upset, about nothing - about everything, it doesn't really matter anymore. Whether he has been drinking or not doesn't really matter either. I won't ask, I don't care. His moods wash over me at this...

deelexky · deelexky

I just came across this board while doing some research. I recently came out of a 2 year relationship with someone I thought had a drinking problem but I continued to make excuses. Since mid-June, I have discovered he was never who I thought he was. It started with a girl who sent me a text message expl...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Hello Family - thought I would run this by you and see what directions your thoughts run. My friends and family are all non-program thinking and their thoughts are scewed one way but I want to write this out and see what questions come up as I write it - are you game? Here goes: Before we married, A and I boug...

IneedMyself · IneedMyself

Im new here and readin ppls posts have made me cry and sympathise to alot of whats being said. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 yrs going on eight and he has been a active drinker/abusive partner and constant dissapoinment. broken promises and lies is what im used to. I put myself second to everything....

lnc12 · lnc12

.... So much to say! I left my house and husband last Tuesday to stay with my parents for a while. I went back Sunday because hubby was sick. Long story short, he is in the hospital right now with acute pancreatitis, fatty/infected liver, & inflamed/infected gallbladder. He's only 25!! Dr. told h...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I had the opportunity to see the Bill W documentary and liked it a lot. Of course I didn't like the portrayal of Lois but for once I don't think I could make a better film! Perhaps my grandiosity is waning! Maresie.

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I am powerless, I'll repeat that one a few more time as well. Scene: Last night at 9 I state I am going to bed. To that point we had been sitting next to each other on the couch for the past several hours. There was plenty of time to talk, as we were just relaxing and it would have been a great time (at any point du...

JJ21 · JJ21

Still have a storage shed six hours from me but in the town the ex lives and where I was when I left. I have not had the money and or place to move it back here. We both paid on it and I told him a few weeks ago he had until the end of the month to get it all out of there, sell it or give it away I didn't want anything an...

helpmelearn · helpmelearn

My name is Sarah Foroosh and I am finishing my degree at the University of La Verne in Southern California. I am hoping to learn how family members are affected by the addiction of a loved one in the hopes that there will be greater help and attention given to the family as a whole. Currently, only the iden...

Amandakay · Amandakay

Ok... I am so, soooo confused right now... I hope you guys can help me know that there's hope for me! I always seem to get into the biggest messes in my life and now... Oh God help me! Ok so I'm finally out of denial... I keep going into it but at the moment I'm excepting this... I contacted the Police yesterda...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

BF is in another relapse, I posted below. I had him leave last night, he doesn't live here but is here a lot. It was a quiet parting, he was upset, tried a lot of manipulation and I ignored it and stuck to my decision. He finally texted me at 12:30 today with just "I'm sorry". This is manipulat...

HisSadGirl · HisSadGirl

Dear ___________,This is a letter I will never send to you, but its all the things that need to be said. The things that I need set free from my mind and heart, before I drown in them.Your disease is a huge problem in your life. And because I am a part of your life, it is a huge problem for me. Your alcoholi...

Amandakay · Amandakay

I just need some ESH... My husband is being thrown out of the drug/alcohol treatment center today because he has been drinking. I sure hope he doesn't think he's coming here!

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Tomorrow, my 25 y.o. AD is coming back home after living out of state for almost 2 years. Just a little background: When she left home two years ago, she had lost her license after getting two DUIs in less than one year. Now, she has finished all of her required alcohol education classes and mandatory AA m...

Diva · Diva

After 10 years of his drunken binges, those awful tirades laced with curses, accusations, hate, blame, and rage, I finally threw him out. He has rented an apartment and will be out and living in it by August 15th. I didn't want this for us. I wanted our love to last forever and for it to be as idyllic as i...

pineapple · pineapple

Erick Barrondo won Guatemala's first ever medal in Olympic history with silver in the men's 20 kilometres walk on Saturday and hoped his win would inspire youngsters back home to forego violence for sport. The 21-year-old, who finished behind China's Chen Ding, said that if this brought a reductio...

rach04 · rach04

I'm in a bad place and i'm blaming me for putting my kids though all of this!! basically 3 years ago ah stopped drinking went aa and everything seemed fine until a year ago! He upped and left me and the kids and went on a session for a week, met a woman who he swears blind that nothing happened with and had a bre...

atheos · atheos

My boss can be... difficult. One minute he's Mr. Nice, the next minute he's ripping apart something I've done (sometimes publicly, sometimes privately) with nit-picky little criticisms and implications that I am incompetent/lazy for not doing thigs exactly as he wants them and then (I *REALLY* h...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Having one of those days. The most recent conversation with my AH went poorly. He claims that he looks at p*rn because he's not getting any and that's my fault. I had told him the previous day that I didn't want to have s*x because I want to work on our relationship and work on trusting him. He just kept...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Most folks in recovery will say that detaching from toxic parents is necessary, especially if they are keeping you in "the lie", that we should "go away" for a time and heal. I cannot speak to this since I have not done it. I am entertaining the idea now. My energy is sapped out of me...

debhud · debhud

normally i give my HP all of my worries and concerns and let him handle them. despite going to meetings i am spiralling downhill. AS is drinking himself to death. i detach the best i know how to and when i am talking to him try to remember to see the word "disease" written on his forehead. w...

sweeetr · sweeetr

So I see the drinking picking back up .. He had a surgery and has done much better with pain pills than I expected, House rules state hard liquor is NOT allowed. But he is using surgery as excuse, as he started using pre surgery stress to start bringing it back around or a 12 pk a night. He hasnt had the "...

Chaya · Chaya

I woke up to the cat grooming my hair. It was awfully sweet of him to be concerned that I am ready for work in the morning, but now I'm up. Good and awake. I know you guys know what I mean. Like, as soon as you wake up your brain goes into ruminating mode. This morning, it is work I am stressed about. A couple of we...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi All, I've been trying desperately to quit smoking. It's nurturing a state af shame and low self-esteem and leaves me without the ability to fend for myself in the right way with courage, so anyone who's looking for someone to manipulate comes straight to me which has left me with dozens of resentmen...

manalanon · manalanon

Hi. Thanks to al anon I do know its ok to think about my own well being/physical mental health. You? Sometimes theres much more than alcohol--usually is. No matter how much we care for or love the other person--drinking or dry drunk, some behaviors do not leave. Even with that I find there are issu...

WORNOUTMOM · WORNOUTMOM

I know that an A is responsible for thier own choices and that if they want to use they are going to find a way to do it. While I am angry about this situation, I do understand that my SIL is ultimately responsible but I really do not feel that excuses the person that assisted her in this case, particularly a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

when he started coming around, I told him to please stay away if: I would be a doctor now. My life would have meaning, I would be needed. I would not have to struggle for enough money for food. I would have my own little house still. I could have gone to volunteer in Africa doing surgeries? Had money to give...

Tigger · Tigger

I just wanted to post to say that things are going very well in my home at the moment. No major drama or crisis That is mostly down to my new hands off (well hands less on. Lol) approach. I have managed to avoid chastising and manipulating, and have set some boundaries in a firm way but not excessively going...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I saw the writing on the wall today as clearly as if it were printed out for me. I posted on Thursday about detoxing with beer available as a back up to avoid beng thrown into seizures again. It has worked pretty well but I didn't close my eyes at all last night because he was sweating and twitching all night...

Bevome · Bevome

My husband has been heavy drinker/ alcoholic for many years. He is in complete denial about drinking and failing health. Symptoms are: Petchiae Swelling ankles fingers Nosebleeds Impotence no sex drive Gynomastia (mild) Trembling hands esp. Morning before drinking Dark skin Jaundic...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

Last monday and tuesday my BF went on a non stop drinking benge with whisky. It got so bad that she got in my face with his nose touching mine. when i didnt move or back down that just pissed him off. If i dont yell or get up set he gets mad....i really dont understand. There is now a huge dent in the hood of my tr...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi guys Some of you may remember... last October I was given a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. I was seeking help and when I looked into this... boy did it fit... I just sat and nodded till my head nearly dropped off. It felt like someone had been following me around my whole life. I was re...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I have read for many years. Posted several times. Read everything I could get my hands on. I know that you will all tell me I need to find a meeting. I've tried those, at the time they didn't work for me. But I KNOW that is what I need. I am one of those people that has a hard time telling My A/BF "No" H...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Been waiting for some kind of sign when it is time to get on here again. I was feeling a little left out of the loop for a few days. I felt like I wasn't being heard on here. Why did I feel this way? Maybe it is because I am not having a crisis or that I am boring. I hope that someone sees where I am coming from. I don'...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Went out last night after work for a few drinks with work colleagues - we have a visitor to our workplace from an overseas collaborator who has been here for 2 months and is going back tomorrow. Anyway I let my partner know by phone I was going out after work (she is the A in my life), I was probably a bit unrea...

nyc018 · nyc018

Today I spoke to my AH (we're separated) who is almost 1 year sober. To make a long story short, last year at this time we had just separated, he was drinking himself into insanity an on the verge of losing his job due to it. Anyway he's been in the program all year and trying to get his life back. One of the une...

Nick · Nick

Hello, My name is Nick. Im from Tempe AZ. heres my story.. I met my girlfriend about two years ago and fell head over heels for her. We started dating and I discovered she was using pain meds daily. I was drinking and I would do the pills with her for about three months. The time came for me to drop the pill thi...

CDK · CDK

So, I just had a coworker that I havent seen in a long time ask me what I was doing here. I was like huh? What do you mean? He asked why arent you in Texas? I said, "Why would I be in Texas?" He said "U and he arent together anymore?"....So, I guess exA has moved to texas. I think I turned se...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Yep, another relapse. It went really well on my end. Short version is that I *know* instantly when he has been drinking no matter how much he has had. There is a certain behavior he exhibits that's subtle but noticable to me. He of course lied a lot and I was very quiet through the lying, I saw it more as...

Pushka · Pushka

It's been so nice being out here and so very relaxing for the most part. There has been drama at home as I've mentioned before however really nothing I can do about it right now. It's been handled as much as it can be and I'm really trying not to focus on it. It's easier said than done right now. We head ho...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I copied and pasted from my journal, FYI: We had a 3 hour long conversation and some went well, some went badly. He said he felt so much better because we were talking but I felt crappy at times because he over exaggerates things and gets out of control. There was one point in the conversation where I to...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Love...You family are the very bestest and just barge into my heart and romp around having fun. You've left me with smiles and laughter and great good feelings oh and yes still the two ducks. You are my most favorite family and all of your experiences with ducks give me great confidence that I ship th...

WORNOUTMOM · WORNOUTMOM

I have been here reading for a few days and it is such a wonderful feeling to know that I am not alone and that there is support!! I am new here and will try to quickly fill you all in on what has led me here. I actually deal with 2 A's daily. First there is my Abf, who drinks every day. He is very high functio...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

I went to my first al anon meeting last Thursday. The next day, he picked a fight with me and started drinking as soon as he got up saying it was because of me. I went to spend the weekend with a relative, just couldn't watch him drink anymore. I had started posting on this site 2 days before that but I dele...

Jozie · Jozie

Well... Thank You All for Your Thoughts, Understaning, Prayers & ESH... I Am Truly Grateful for ALL of It... I have been doing some Much Needed Soul Searchin Here of Late & Seem to have Figured a Few things Out, and One of My Biggest Problems since Returning Home from Vacation is "Balance...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	help for a newbie codependency alcoholic new newbie start (Preview) Hi all, I am new to the boards and fairly new to this whole area. My husband has been drinking for well over a decade and we we have been together for 11 years. We had a pretty rocky marriage for many of those years, but then I got very sick with a debilitating illnesss. For many years I could barely get ou...	gracealone	6	8854	Aug 10, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	highly functional=much confusion functional alcoholic workaholic mom (Preview) I gave a little of my story in my first post, but I am new to the whole "work the program" thing. I guess there are a lot of reasons I never took this step years ago. I was really afraid of his anger. I made some attempt to reach out for help, but was only offerd help for the marriage. But another...	gracealone	10	9584	Aug 10, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	Today's reading from C2C - Good stuff! (Preview) I woke up this morning and opened up my Courage to change book and read the reading for the day. Talk about WOW! This really hit home for me and I wanted to share with you all in case you hadn't read it. To me it is truly beautiful! C2C for Aug. 9th pg. 222 Before coming to Al-Anon, I never felt I could be my...	willowtree	2	613	Aug 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Seeking approval (Preview) Question 15 from step one in paths to recovery asks: "How have I sought approval and affirmation from others?" I'm wondering how others would answer this question. I know I have sought approval from others in the following ways: By being more like them. By agreeing with them or not speakin...	Tigger	4	1108	Aug 10, 2012 by Tigger
	I forgot.... kinda (Preview) I still have times when my obsessiveness/thoughts obsession whatever you want to call it.. takes over my mind. I have triggers that I would like to work on one day, but at least now I recognise them as triggers and can address them. Yesterday....... my husband finished work early. He was home at 230 in...	Oksie	9	663	Aug 9, 2012 by Oksie
	Get me a drink!!... (Preview) I was re-reading Inc12's last post on Overwhelming week and then thinking about my old program teachers and their new "choices lessons". I remember as "What'll I do when..." meeting one night where a gal shared her newest response to her alcoholic's old demand to "Get...	Jerry F	6	559	Aug 9, 2012 by Amandakay
	Court Hearing comes with all the pain and memories!!!! Need some positve thoughts! (Preview) So it has been a couple months since I have written on here and I am hoping it is a good thing, because I never felt happier in life. Ever since my crack head ex boyfriend broke into my house, I have not heard from him at all. I pretty much forgot he existed. I have been so happy. I met a great guy who is only a frie...	Julie3310	7	618	Aug 9, 2012 by Amandakay
	The Latest Storm Has Passed (Preview) Well, I worked my program pretty good in the face of his latest relapse. He tells me he was just having a bad day (he never admits using) but I know what I know. I have stopped trying to get confessions, it just doesn't work. When I said the other day that I felt like two steps forward, three steps back, someo...	surfgirl123	4	597	Aug 9, 2012 by Jozie
	My sucess since joining MIP (Preview) Hi everybody, I've only been a member here for a little over a month, but the beginning of my journey has been fruitful. I started out wondering if I should leave my AW. I decided, at everyone's advice, to stay and get help. At Tom's suggestion, I purchased Getting Them Sober. It was a fantastic first s...	Eddie1248	9	618	Aug 9, 2012 by Breakingfree
	fact or fiction? (Preview) I fell in love with someone who turned out to be an alcoholic. I had no idea at the time of our "courtship" that he struggled with this sickness, and he was also in denial. He recently completed 6 months of treatment, and then when a conflict arose, he relapsed. He admitted that he sought tr...	conflicted222	4	608	Aug 9, 2012 by conflicted222
	Help Me to Understand the Un-understandable Alcoholic Mind (Preview) I left my house on Saturday evening after a week from hell with a relapsing alcoholic. He has called me every day since then and invited me over for dinner. WTH????!!!!!!!!!!! I haven' answered his calls or called back but today he came into my office and left me an iced coffee. I didn't see him come in bu...	WornOutMrsFixIt	14	1100	Aug 9, 2012 by Oksie
	his past (Preview) hey peeps. i'm quite shaken up right now and thought al-anon is the best place i can turn to for advice on this. i may post this on AA too to get advice from recovering AAers. hope that's ok. i've just discovered my fiancé (recovering) has a bit of a criminal past. i knew about one thing that happened (DUI...	swiftshift	9	649	Aug 9, 2012 by terese0123
	Relapse (Preview) I am the Mum of an alcoholic? He was in rehab for five months and was 8 years sober. We live three hours flight away from him. He came on holiday to us last week with his children and we discovered he was drinking. He controlled it somewhat while here, was in complete denial and bare-faced lied about drinki...	LynnDz	2	538	Aug 8, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	What a huge difference Alanon makes (Preview) My AH started drinking again (he says for a month but I say longer). After almost 4 years of sobriety, he picked up. He started acting strange and like he was drunk a lot but I could never smell anything, find any alcohol in the house....come to find out he was getting beer and pouring it into N/A beer cans t...	souljoy	5	726	Aug 8, 2012 by souljoy
	I have a new favorite page! (Preview) Sometimes particular pages in a daily reader really grab me with what they have to say. Today I found a new one, on decision-making -- May 13 in Courage to Change. I find it much easier to risk making decisions when I stop thinking about suffering the consequences and remember that I have the option to en...	atheos	6	608	Aug 8, 2012 by Grace7
	Wish Me Luck (Preview) My AH has been doing so well lately, but as I know this is cyclical and here we are again. He is agitated, upset, about nothing - about everything, it doesn't really matter anymore. Whether he has been drinking or not doesn't really matter either. I won't ask, I don't care. His moods wash over me at this...	surfgirl123	9	521	Aug 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Looking For Answers (Preview) I just came across this board while doing some research. I recently came out of a 2 year relationship with someone I thought had a drinking problem but I continued to make excuses. Since mid-June, I have discovered he was never who I thought he was. It started with a girl who sent me a text message expl...	deelexky	9	791	Aug 8, 2012 by deelexky
	Interesting delimma (Preview) Hello Family - thought I would run this by you and see what directions your thoughts run. My friends and family are all non-program thinking and their thoughts are scewed one way but I want to write this out and see what questions come up as I write it - are you game? Here goes: Before we married, A and I boug...	likemyheart	9	671	Aug 8, 2012 by terese0123
	New and so sick of it (Preview) Im new here and readin ppls posts have made me cry and sympathise to alot of whats being said. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 yrs going on eight and he has been a active drinker/abusive partner and constant dissapoinment. broken promises and lies is what im used to. I put myself second to everything....	IneedMyself	9	649	Aug 8, 2012 by orchidlover
	Overwhelming week! (Preview) .... So much to say! I left my house and husband last Tuesday to stay with my parents for a while. I went back Sunday because hubby was sick. Long story short, he is in the hospital right now with acute pancreatitis, fatty/infected liver, & inflamed/infected gallbladder. He's only 25!! Dr. told h...	lnc12	5	545	Aug 8, 2012 by orchidlover
	Bill W documentary (Preview) I had the opportunity to see the Bill W documentary and liked it a lot. Of course I didn't like the portrayal of Lois but for once I don't think I could make a better film! Perhaps my grandiosity is waning! Maresie.	orchidlover	3	424	Aug 8, 2012 by orchidlover
	It's a disease, it's a disease, it's a disease.... (Preview) I am powerless, I'll repeat that one a few more time as well. Scene: Last night at 9 I state I am going to bed. To that point we had been sitting next to each other on the couch for the past several hours. There was plenty of time to talk, as we were just relaxing and it would have been a great time (at any point du...	Jackie11	7	907	Aug 7, 2012 by souljoy
	Confused? (Preview) Still have a storage shed six hours from me but in the town the ex lives and where I was when I left. I have not had the money and or place to move it back here. We both paid on it and I told him a few weeks ago he had until the end of the month to get it all out of there, sell it or give it away I didn't want anything an...	JJ21	2	394	Aug 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	Would you help? Help me (Preview) My name is Sarah Foroosh and I am finishing my degree at the University of La Verne in Southern California. I am hoping to learn how family members are affected by the addiction of a loved one in the hopes that there will be greater help and attention given to the family as a whole. Currently, only the iden...	helpmelearn	1	574	Aug 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	I'm not sure this crying smiley really explains this... (Preview) Ok... I am so, soooo confused right now... I hope you guys can help me know that there's hope for me! I always seem to get into the biggest messes in my life and now... Oh God help me! Ok so I'm finally out of denial... I keep going into it but at the moment I'm excepting this... I contacted the Police yesterda...	Amandakay	14	702	Aug 7, 2012 by rehprof
	Would like thoughts and ideas (Preview) BF is in another relapse, I posted below. I had him leave last night, he doesn't live here but is here a lot. It was a quiet parting, he was upset, tried a lot of manipulation and I ignored it and stuck to my decision. He finally texted me at 12:30 today with just "I'm sorry". This is manipulat...	AStrongerMe	15	634	Aug 7, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Pain and Anger (Preview) Dear ___________,This is a letter I will never send to you, but its all the things that need to be said. The things that I need set free from my mind and heart, before I drown in them.Your disease is a huge problem in your life. And because I am a part of your life, it is a huge problem for me. Your alcoholi...	HisSadGirl	4	535	Aug 7, 2012 by IneedMyself
	Husband being thown out of treament center (Preview) I just need some ESH... My husband is being thrown out of the drug/alcohol treatment center today because he has been drinking. I sure hope he doesn't think he's coming here!	Amandakay	5	449	Aug 7, 2012 by Pushka
	AD Coming Back Home to Live with AH Let Go and Let God (Preview) Tomorrow, my 25 y.o. AD is coming back home after living out of state for almost 2 years. Just a little background: When she left home two years ago, she had lost her license after getting two DUIs in less than one year. Now, she has finished all of her required alcohol education classes and mandatory AA m...	Green Eyes	4	1802	Aug 7, 2012 by Pushka
	It's all for my own good. SO why am I so sad? (Preview) After 10 years of his drunken binges, those awful tirades laced with curses, accusations, hate, blame, and rage, I finally threw him out. He has rented an apartment and will be out and living in it by August 15th. I didn't want this for us. I wanted our love to last forever and for it to be as idyllic as i...	Diva	13	770	Aug 7, 2012 by JJ21
	Off Topic/my new hero (Preview) Erick Barrondo won Guatemala's first ever medal in Olympic history with silver in the men's 20 kilometres walk on Saturday and hoped his win would inspire youngsters back home to forego violence for sport. The 21-year-old, who finished behind China's Chen Ding, said that if this brought a reductio...	pineapple	4	450	Aug 7, 2012 by pineapple
	its been a few years sorry (Preview) I'm in a bad place and i'm blaming me for putting my kids though all of this!! basically 3 years ago ah stopped drinking went aa and everything seemed fine until a year ago! He upped and left me and the kids and went on a session for a week, met a woman who he swears blind that nothing happened with and had a bre...	rach04	3	690	Aug 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	Tell my boss, or not? (Preview) My boss can be... difficult. One minute he's Mr. Nice, the next minute he's ripping apart something I've done (sometimes publicly, sometimes privately) with nit-picky little criticisms and implications that I am incompetent/lazy for not doing thigs exactly as he wants them and then (I REALLY h...	atheos	5	647	Aug 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	Blech....feeling just blech (Preview) Having one of those days. The most recent conversation with my AH went poorly. He claims that he looks at prn because he's not getting any and that's my fault. I had told him the previous day that I didn't want to have sx because I want to work on our relationship and work on trusting him. He just kept...	ilovedogs	5	621	Aug 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	A Different Point of View on Detachment - Your Opinions, Please! (Preview) Most folks in recovery will say that detaching from toxic parents is necessary, especially if they are keeping you in "the lie", that we should "go away" for a time and heal. I cannot speak to this since I have not done it. I am entertaining the idea now. My energy is sapped out of me...	WorkingThroughIt	10	659	Aug 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	i have gone backwards in my recovery... (Preview) normally i give my HP all of my worries and concerns and let him handle them. despite going to meetings i am spiralling downhill. AS is drinking himself to death. i detach the best i know how to and when i am talking to him try to remember to see the word "disease" written on his forehead. w...	debhud	6	630	Aug 6, 2012 by orchidlover
	see things coming back around?? (Preview) So I see the drinking picking back up .. He had a surgery and has done much better with pain pills than I expected, House rules state hard liquor is NOT allowed. But he is using surgery as excuse, as he started using pre surgery stress to start bringing it back around or a 12 pk a night. He hasnt had the "...	sweeetr	3	450	Aug 6, 2012 by sweeetr
	2am rumination (Preview) I woke up to the cat grooming my hair. It was awfully sweet of him to be concerned that I am ready for work in the morning, but now I'm up. Good and awake. I know you guys know what I mean. Like, as soon as you wake up your brain goes into ruminating mode. This morning, it is work I am stressed about. A couple of we...	Chaya	3	702	Aug 6, 2012 by Jerry F
	Difficult Emotions (Preview) Hi All, I've been trying desperately to quit smoking. It's nurturing a state af shame and low self-esteem and leaves me without the ability to fend for myself in the right way with courage, so anyone who's looking for someone to manipulate comes straight to me which has left me with dozens of resentmen...	WorkingThroughIt	11	478	Aug 6, 2012 by hotrod
	Our own well being. Thoughts on taking care of ourselves. feeling isolated, need al anon; staying an option? al anon man support telephone north carolina eastern north carolina help online meetings hurt isolated partner counselor pain unhealthy support (Preview) Hi. Thanks to al anon I do know its ok to think about my own well being/physical mental health. You? Sometimes theres much more than alcohol--usually is. No matter how much we care for or love the other person--drinking or dry drunk, some behaviors do not leave. Even with that I find there are issu...	manalanon	13	11810	Aug 6, 2012 by manalanon
	JUST DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT (Preview) I know that an A is responsible for thier own choices and that if they want to use they are going to find a way to do it. While I am angry about this situation, I do understand that my SIL is ultimately responsible but I really do not feel that excuses the person that assisted her in this case, particularly a...	WORNOUTMOM	5	609	Aug 5, 2012 by WORNOUTMOM
	I wonder if (Preview) when he started coming around, I told him to please stay away if: I would be a doctor now. My life would have meaning, I would be needed. I would not have to struggle for enough money for food. I would have my own little house still. I could have gone to volunteer in Africa doing surgeries? Had money to give...	Debilyn	5	609	Aug 5, 2012 by Rocky38
	Things going well (Preview) I just wanted to post to say that things are going very well in my home at the moment. No major drama or crisis That is mostly down to my new hands off (well hands less on. Lol) approach. I have managed to avoid chastising and manipulating, and have set some boundaries in a firm way but not excessively going...	Tigger	2	427	Aug 5, 2012 by tiredtonite
	He's On His Own (Preview) I saw the writing on the wall today as clearly as if it were printed out for me. I posted on Thursday about detoxing with beer available as a back up to avoid beng thrown into seizures again. It has worked pretty well but I didn't close my eyes at all last night because he was sweating and twitching all night...	WornOutMrsFixIt	6	713	Aug 5, 2012 by tiredtonite
	I think husband age 60 has cirrhosis (Preview) My husband has been heavy drinker/ alcoholic for many years. He is in complete denial about drinking and failing health. Symptoms are: Petchiae Swelling ankles fingers Nosebleeds Impotence no sex drive Gynomastia (mild) Trembling hands esp. Morning before drinking Dark skin Jaundic...	Bevome	3	685	Aug 5, 2012 by Bevome
	Finally in detox but waiting for him to fail (Preview) Last monday and tuesday my BF went on a non stop drinking benge with whisky. It got so bad that she got in my face with his nose touching mine. when i didnt move or back down that just pissed him off. If i dont yell or get up set he gets mad....i really dont understand. There is now a huge dent in the hood of my tr...	HoofnIt	4	497	Aug 5, 2012 by HoofnIt
	psychologist (Preview) Hi guys Some of you may remember... last October I was given a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. I was seeking help and when I looked into this... boy did it fit... I just sat and nodded till my head nearly dropped off. It felt like someone had been following me around my whole life. I was re...	Oksie	6	540	Aug 5, 2012 by Oksie
	I Can't take it anymore!!! (Preview) I have read for many years. Posted several times. Read everything I could get my hands on. I know that you will all tell me I need to find a meeting. I've tried those, at the time they didn't work for me. But I KNOW that is what I need. I am one of those people that has a hard time telling My A/BF "No" H...	sisdragonfly1957	4	687	Aug 5, 2012 by hotrod
	haven't been on here in over a week (Preview) Been waiting for some kind of sign when it is time to get on here again. I was feeling a little left out of the loop for a few days. I felt like I wasn't being heard on here. Why did I feel this way? Maybe it is because I am not having a crisis or that I am boring. I hope that someone sees where I am coming from. I don'...	Hoot Nanny	2	431	Aug 5, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Feeling a bit crap and low really. (Preview) Went out last night after work for a few drinks with work colleagues - we have a visitor to our workplace from an overseas collaborator who has been here for 2 months and is going back tomorrow. Anyway I let my partner know by phone I was going out after work (she is the A in my life), I was probably a bit unrea...	jitsuka	8	586	Aug 4, 2012 by jitsuka
	Something AH said (Preview) Today I spoke to my AH (we're separated) who is almost 1 year sober. To make a long story short, last year at this time we had just separated, he was drinking himself into insanity an on the verge of losing his job due to it. Anyway he's been in the program all year and trying to get his life back. One of the une...	nyc018	4	578	Aug 4, 2012 by Pushka
	Deception, lies and learning to trust again Trust (Preview) Hello, My name is Nick. Im from Tempe AZ. heres my story.. I met my girlfriend about two years ago and fell head over heels for her. We started dating and I discovered she was using pain meds daily. I was drinking and I would do the pills with her for about three months. The time came for me to drop the pill thi...	Nick	5	3040	Aug 4, 2012 by jitsuka
	Lil breakdown. (Preview) So, I just had a coworker that I havent seen in a long time ask me what I was doing here. I was like huh? What do you mean? He asked why arent you in Texas? I said, "Why would I be in Texas?" He said "U and he arent together anymore?"....So, I guess exA has moved to texas. I think I turned se...	CDK	8	616	Aug 4, 2012 by Jerry F
	This disease is so sad (Preview) Yep, another relapse. It went really well on my end. Short version is that I know instantly when he has been drinking no matter how much he has had. There is a certain behavior he exhibits that's subtle but noticable to me. He of course lied a lot and I was very quiet through the lying, I saw it more as...	AStrongerMe	3	547	Aug 4, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Counting down (Preview) It's been so nice being out here and so very relaxing for the most part. There has been drama at home as I've mentioned before however really nothing I can do about it right now. It's been handled as much as it can be and I'm really trying not to focus on it. It's easier said than done right now. We head ho...	Pushka	6	557	Aug 4, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Had a talk with AH (Preview) I copied and pasted from my journal, FYI: We had a 3 hour long conversation and some went well, some went badly. He said he felt so much better because we were talking but I felt crappy at times because he over exaggerates things and gets out of control. There was one point in the conversation where I to...	ilovedogs	7	554	Aug 4, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Humor surrounded by (Preview) Love...You family are the very bestest and just barge into my heart and romp around having fun. You've left me with smiles and laughter and great good feelings oh and yes still the two ducks. You are my most favorite family and all of your experiences with ducks give me great confidence that I ship th...	Jerry F	8	454	Aug 4, 2012 by wp
	so glad I found this site!!! (Preview) I have been here reading for a few days and it is such a wonderful feeling to know that I am not alone and that there is support!! I am new here and will try to quickly fill you all in on what has led me here. I actually deal with 2 A's daily. First there is my Abf, who drinks every day. He is very high functio...	WORNOUTMOM	6	490	Aug 4, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Broken promises and false hope (Preview) I went to my first al anon meeting last Thursday. The next day, he picked a fight with me and started drinking as soon as he got up saying it was because of me. I went to spend the weekend with a relative, just couldn't watch him drink anymore. I had started posting on this site 2 days before that but I dele...	almostgivenup	5	717	Aug 4, 2012 by troyo
	Slowly Coming Out of the Ditch :) (Preview) Well... Thank You All for Your Thoughts, Understaning, Prayers & ESH... I Am Truly Grateful for ALL of It... I have been doing some Much Needed Soul Searchin Here of Late & Seem to have Figured a Few things Out, and One of My Biggest Problems since Returning Home from Vacation is "Balance...	Jozie	3	564	Aug 4, 2012 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.