The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Damn you alcoholism for taking away our loved ones. For making us feel like it's our fault. For having so much control over our A's feelings that they lose touch with what is REALLY important in life. I hate you for causing me to be untrusting, for causing me not to forget past things and use that to encourage me to go looking for more wrongs. Why can't you just release your grip and give me the loving, caring and gentle man that I KNOW is in there? I hate you for causing his depression and anger. I hate you for making him feel like he can't function without you. Just. Let. Us. Be.
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~Kat
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire
I think that I, like most on here, can definitely relate to, and understand your post....
There is also a (much shorter list), that is applicable....
Alcoholism.... You are everything that Elektrawmn said above, but there are also some residual good that comes out of all things....
Thank-you for pushing me to seek recovery for myself, and learning (through Al-Anon) to become a better person - more tolerant, more empathetic, more self-aware, less judgemental. If it were not for alcoholism in my life (my ex-AW) - I would not have 'grown' as much....
Some long term members say they are thankful for alcoholism for these reasons - I will stop short of saying that, but I do acknowledge that there ARE some benefits from us being in recovery for ourselves...
Take care
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
The ex A had a certain sweetness about him that was very nice but I have to remember that he was an addict long before I met him.
I heard on the radio today referring to the documentary Bill W, that there are two types of alcoholics, one who have that immediate reaction to alcohol the first time they drink and are alcoholic from there on in. The second one who drinks and can put it down but gradually over time get a dependence on alcohol and become alcoholics. One other thing is no on has alcoholism, they are alcoholic.
I think some people do stay dry without AA but they often have the traits of an alcoholic there.
I'm glad you are here and sharing from your heart.
If you can't find a meeting, attend the meetings here twice a day.
Oh yeah, I too HATE this cunning, baffling disease. I hate what it has done to my once beloved, I hate what it has done to me. But as Canadian Guy said, it does have some good-it has taught me (with the help of Alanon and the wonderful, wise people on this board) to seek recovery for myself and that is a good thing.
Yes relate to that! Whilst I may hate this cunning and baffling disease if it had not come into my life I would never have found Al - Anon and had the opportunity to focus on me and my recovery. Sometimes I feel like a child discovering things about myself that had long been buried.
Damn you alcoholism for taking away our loved ones. For making us feel like it's our fault. For having so much control over our A's feelings that they lose touch with what is REALLY important in life. I hate you for causing me to be untrusting, for causing me not to forget past things and use that to encourage me to go looking for more wrongs. Why can't you just release your grip and give me the loving, caring and gentle man that I KNOW is in there? I hate you for causing his depression and anger. I hate you for making him feel like he can't function without you. Just. Let. Us. Be.
Amen to all of that (and Canadianguy's wise words too).
