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Post Info TOPIC: New Obsession - Gu ns


~*Service Worker*~

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New Obsession - Gu ns


Since my exA moved out -- he has a new obsession. Guns. It's almost like a new source of esteem for him, as he has lost everything else....

I unfriended my exA on FB in part because he kept posting all these new guns he has, and not giving me a penny of child support and it made me really angry.

So this morning I find out he has bought my soon to be 16 yo son a handgun for his birthday, without consulting me. I HATE guns and don't allow them in the house. For me, they represent a kind of violence that I cannot condone.

Beyond requiring that my son take a gun safety course, and not allowing it at MY house, there isn't much more I can do. no



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1230
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I understand your concern about your son and guns. All you can do is stick to your boundaries and share your opinions.

My RA has always loved guns and has quite a collection, which all are kept in a huge safe. We have 2 sons. One son has a gun. The other son has nothing to do with them (like me) Their both in their mid-thirties. They grew up and decided for themselves what is right for them.

This circumstance, as well as all others that are shared on this board, is a good example of how alcoholics and other challenging people in our lives give us opportunities to grow. We are wise to embrace the opportunities.

You're doing well, rehprof!

__________________

You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light.  Lama Surya Das

Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die.  Malachy McCourt



~*Service Worker*~

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I hope he has never shown any signs of violence ...?  A drinking alcoholic with a burgeoning gun collection doesn't sound like someone I'd want to have around, or more to the point, that I'd want my child to be around, however old the child.  Alcoholics' judgment is bad enough when it comes to drunk driving; drunk gun-handling is even more worrying.



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Senior Member

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I am not sure this is as out of your power as you may think. I did a quick search on google and what I turned up says that in order to legally own a gun you have to be 18 and 21 to purchase it. It is illegal for your 16 year old to have a gun. You may be able to stop this "gift" through legal means.



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1230
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Maatie is correct in that guns and an alcoholic are a dangerous mix. My RA had an episode involving guns while he tried to detox on his own. It was a nightmare. But things worked out for him in the long run.

As BlouCould pointed out, you might be able to stop this gift. But what will stop you ex-husband sharing the gun with your son.

Not sure what the solution is for your circumstances. However, I highly recommend keeping the lines of communication with your son. Communicating with the alocholic (not in recovery) would be like banging your head against the expecting good results.

__________________

You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light.  Lama Surya Das

Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die.  Malachy McCourt



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3870
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I would feel better knowing if my stbax bought a gun for one of the kids that I had it at MY house and I could lock it up accordingly. There are ways to deal with the situation and I understand your fear. I don't know what it is about guns and the whole addiction issue mine did a similar dance. Ironically I'm the one who's getting a permit and a gun now. I have a whole other background as far as my comfort level with guns. The idea that my wasband could go and get the dang gun would bother me more than anything else. That's the part that I can't ever get over. There will always be people in the world who do hanious acts of violence it doesn't matter if they have a gun or not. How about the guy in NY I think it was or Jersey who has infected thousands it maybe closer to the number of 100k of people with Hep C knowingly used surgenges full of fentynal and placed the used suringe back with a clear solution not the drug. We are talking in terms of basically a serial infecter who has placed thousands many thousands at risk because of this one guy.

There are things you do have choices over even though it doesn't feel that way at the moment. Slow it down a bit and look at all of your options. I understand your feelings about guns and the violence attached to them, especially in light of the Colorado shootings which were horrible and tragic. Personally, and this is my opinion on this one so take what you like, I'd rather have the enemy I can see vs the one I can't. So that gun would be parked under lock and key exactly where I knew it should be, then I would find a way to educate my kid/s about the proper use, how it works and so on, and again with the lock and key coming home. If it made me feel better I would keep it at someone I trusted their house.

Part of my history is going to a school in a very rough part of town, being on the rifle team of a school that when people talked about shootings in the "big" city .. we had very big issues here probably not like LA however close enough, because it migrated south. The whole time I was there and after there was never a gun incident with anyone who was properly trained in how to shoot on our team. Now the gangs were another issue, we did more than one real live duck and cover. We never had the metal detectors, or back pack serseach. There was no money for that kind of thing. Someone was armed and moving on the property on more than one occassion, as well as the gang wars. It was so sad to watch my friends leave for the weekend and wonder if they would be there on Monday, there were weekends like that with conflict and rumors. I was at that school for 4 years. I also spent my summers with men who hunted regularly and it was an unspoken rule you do something stupid with a gun, .. it would be only one time. It was the fear of what would happen if you DID do something stupid. Safety was never joked about. Point being I survived, all of my friends made it through highschool. I do know of more than one who literally was lost to gang related issues.

I digressed from the original topic, which was about A's and guns I have heard more than one story like this obsession with the guns. It's more common than I ever realized though.

Pardon my spelling, .. lol .. I can't get my spell check to work!!!

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3870
Date:

My bad, it's 6000 people that were infected possibly by hep c. It's an ongoing situation.

__________________

Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo

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