Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

dragonflys · dragonflys

Havent spoken to my AH in about 2 weeks. He calls this morning and verbally vomits all over me. Should never have answered the phone. I started to wonder why he felt it was ok to talk to me that way, to put me down, blame me for everything, call me names, accuse me of cheating.... When we hung up the phone....

Itzli · Itzli

Needless to say, I'm a little bit freaked out for even starting to reach out and look for help in my situation. Really, I don't want to believe I'm in a situation to begin with, so this is really hard. I just run out of options and pretending that it doesn't exist isn't helping. So, here I am. My husband is...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I am a country music lover!!! Anyone watching Nashville!! :) Little Miss by Sugarland (I think I posted it on another thread but here are the lyrics) Little miss done on love Little miss, I give up Little miss, I'll get tough, don't you worry about me anymore Little miss checkered dress Little miss, o...

abbyal · abbyal

If there is one thing I have learned in my years in this program is that I cannot help anyone with a problem if I myself have not experienced what they are dealing with , and my solution is to find someone in program who has been there done that and direct them to the person asking for help . I have the privele...

Overcome · Overcome

I lived with the active disease of alcoholism in my past, I don't today. However, I do live with the active disease of my mother's Alzheimer's and I'm so grateful to Al-anon for having been in this program, because it has taught me how to practice these principles in all my affairs. I am trying to get my 20...

Inuyami · Inuyami

HELP!!! These last couple nights have been so hard and I feel like I'm right back where I started when I first left my AH on labor day.Thursday I met up with my AH at the mall to do some clothes shopping. I had him meet me there so we could talk... but very little talking was actually done. He returned some...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

What a relief! How stupid I am to think that you would be fired as a financial consultant when you test 3x over the legal limit to drive during business hours. Thank God my AH called to set the record straight.

I was prepared for total devastation or even rage at me but not delusion. When...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

One thing that I always had a hard time doing was asking for help. My alcoholic father raised me as a single parent so there was never a lot of help to rely on. Financially and emotionally, the alcoholic struggled day to day. We werent a wealthy family, a connected family or even a healthy cohesive family...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

This passed summer, my AH and I were separated for the fourth time (due to cheating, lying, stealing, drug use). I was working 2,000 miles away and even though I was not looking for another relationship, I ended up falling head over heals for someone. I didn't let that relationship evolve due to the fac...

Chaya · Chaya

Had a great women's meeting this morning. Happy to have a newcomer and share on the topic of fellowship. Today I am grateful for all the new women I have met in this program. I love all my sisters. Chaya

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just want to say that it does get better for those of you who are in the middle of the mess! My friend is doing much better daily. She is doing for herself things that she couldn't do before. She prays & has faith. I am so proud of her. She can sometimes be an inspiration to me. Her values have changed &...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It seems like every time I try to do the right thing it always comes out wrong???????????????? I am so frustrated w/ myself it seems like it never ends. I have been on my AH for days. I think I know why--I have been having trouble w/ my weight(outside issue) but it kills me when my weight starts to go up &...

DavidG · DavidG

The 'no cross-talk rule' has been a recent thing in 12 steps groups. How does this apply to Alanon- any ideas? In my home group, if we have a new member we have a 'Step 1 meeting'. This is where everyone share how and why they came to Alanon. Sometimes if asked for members offer opinions but not advice- '...

Overcome · Overcome

In our Courage to Change (C2C) daily mediation book it says, "The Al-anon program encourages me to acknowledge my feelings and to be responsible for how I express them. The problem is not that I get angry, but that I do not know how to direct my anger appropriately." I thought that this was so...

kemmaw · kemmaw

Well...there you go. He left tonight... He came home drunk....feel asleep on the couch for an hour. He had a go at me and the kids...slammed my hand in a draw. I asked him not to take it out on the kids. He told me not to start on him and he left.... I am left crying and a bit bemused... I have to work at 8...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

Please pray for my son, Matt, just dropped him off at the airport with another student and dad. They are going to AZ to try out for the Arizona Senior Classic Baseball Academic team for high school. My son has done so well, despite this disease with his dad.....group prayer is so powerful....thanks for...

kemmaw · kemmaw

I have been living with a man now for 3 years...he was a drinker when we met but I didn't realise how much and how it was steadily increasing until the beginning of 2012. We both have children and its a tough family situation. He drinks from 3pm in the pub every day and then carries on with 2 bottles of wine a...

John · John

The Husband StoreA brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may...

UK Jane · UK Jane

Hi, I'm doing a long share at my home group on Friday - the topic is "Gratitude". I've been thinking about it for a while. I realised that I have never said that I'm a "grateful member" of Al-anon, even though I am. Why? Well I worked it out and it stems from my childhood. I'm an A...

Tigger · Tigger

Over the past couple of weeks, I've slowly been learning about compassion. I had no idea how to do that until now because I felt so angry and abandoned. The more I read about this being an illness, and here how strong and serene long timers appera to be with compassion toward their As, the more it's been si...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I don't know about you all, but I could use a positive sharing thread! What's everyone up to this weekend? My daughters will be here, and my oldest (who is almost 13) has decided to cut off her fabulous long hair. She will be donating it to charity, and getting a funky "hip" haircut. She's...

John · John

IT CAN'T BE BLOCKED, NEVER WILL BE... IT'S STRONGER THAN ALL THE MEASURES YOU WILL TAKE AGAINST IT.... IT'S CALLED LOVE. As the Velveteen Rabbit says, "I discovered I was real, when all my hair was pulled from my head, an eye ball was missing, an ear torn, and my stuffing coming out because I was carried...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok, .. I'm going to own the fact my crystal ball is broken and I want a refund darn you Crystal Ball R Us .. soooo not what I ordered!!!

I have had these floating thoughts running rampet in my head recently due to many things that have been coming to pass. Some are right and some like I said big o...

teachmath · teachmath

Once again my alcoholic bf acted out but this time I am taking a stand. I listened to what people here had to say, and I am no longer engaging in his games and not allowing him to ruin my life. He was down here from Wednesday through Monday, and we barely saw each other, except when I helped him out. We did h...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I could use some opinions. Since my AH got out of rehab (about 3 weeks ago) we have seperated, he keeps telling me he wants to be the husband I deserve and will show me by his actions how much he loves me and how dedicated he is to our marriage. I come to find out he is on the internet having all kinds of communi...

ForeverAlanon · ForeverAlanon

WOW, this is harder than I thought! Thanks to the great suggestions I got from my post I was able to be flexible and come up with some, they are pretty basic, but that is where I am at right now... physical care: I spent ten minutes taking a quick hot bath rather than a quickie 5 minute shower mental care: I...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Me! Boy what an eye opener LOL. I've been battling some sort of non-identifiable illness for over 6 months now. It is the type of illness you do not want to discuss with anyone, can keep you from having a normal day and is humiliating and humbling. I've got medication making it so I can work but the idea...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I first want to thank everyone for the advice and support. I will be attending my first Al-Anon meeting today. I decided not to tell my wife where I was going, but not lie about it. It is during my lunch break from work and if the wife asks, I went to get some counselling. My thought process is it is none o...

rellik · rellik

This week is hell. My AWs actions and words are completly contradictory. E-mails of love and making up for the pain. Sexy txts to some other guy, about how she wants to be with him. So I told her to accept her fate and move out, move in with him if she wants to. She refused and she keeps telling me she will find...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I have been looking lately how impossible it was for me to say no thanks to relationships that were difficult,mired in problems and complicated. I think I had some compulsion to both suffer and to rescue people from their situation. I felt so responsible for everyone and like it wasn't in my capacit...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I don't often give myself over to anger. I tend to believe that anger is often a mask for another deeper feeling (embarrassment, sadness, disappointment, etc.), and I try to understand what's *really* going on when I feel angry, mostly because I HATE it when other people take their anger out on me and...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Well, it only took 3 weeks out of rehab and my AH is spiraling. He calls me to ask a question about his taxes and from there it goes off the rails. He's going on and on about not having enough money and he is stopping therapy and stopping his meds for his bipolar. I remind him I am paying for his meds and his the...

ForeverAlanon · ForeverAlanon

I struggled with this for so many years. I was the healthy clean living vegan totally drug free health nut, not even OTC drugs, HE was the addict who drank like a fish until he was urinating in any container he could find in the house during blackouts. What? I am sick also? I don't think so, I am the one ke...

Icie · Icie

phoned my granddaughter 3 weeks ago & asked her if she would like a set of my china dishes with crystal glasses, tea pot, coffee pot , cream & sugar absolutely everything, setting for 12 people & complete silver ware set, for her hope chest. Her reply was definitely...I replied please...

mum2three · mum2three

Hi Everyone I am new to the forum and so thankful i found you. My husband has been sober (drugs and alcohol) for 7 years and attends AA regularly. My situation is my husband has recently started socializing with his "old friends" again, most of whom still drink. I had started having some an...

Rick3358 · Rick3358

New to this board. My son's drinking finally caused our family to hit a new low. After a brief altercation I told him to leave. I knew the day would come, prayed that it would not but there is was. He moved out. In following phone conversations I made it clear as long as he his drinking he will n...

Kismet · Kismet

I am so depressed today I just want to go to sleep and wake up to a new life. My AH has been in rehab since early August and is doing very well. He came home last weekend because he had done his step 5 and they start integrating slowly back into the outside world after that stage. We were both extremely anxious...

unsure2012 · unsure2012

I am new to the forum but not new to my codependent way. For several years I went to therapy and I actually believed I was improving. However, I am back at square one. When my husband and I started dating the red flags were all over the place, but I chose to ignore them. I ignored them because he and I had be...

Alan66 · Alan66

I found out 45 days ago that my wife of 21 years is an alcoholic. I always suspected there was a problem going on but couldn't quite put my finger on it. She was a binge drinker, mostly on weekends, who just didn't know when enough was enough. I would try to get her to leave parties when she was drunk but nothi...

ForeverAlanon · ForeverAlanon

Hi, I first joined alanon ten years ago and it helped me tremendously in some ways, well, in the ways that I applied the program. Like many first time alanoners, I mostly came to whine and complain about my A and hope to get some tips on how to deal with a hopeless A. Well, I did get that in the casual conver...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana `O MIP...Good morning MIP Family...The day has started her on Moku Keawe...The Big Island of Hawaii...much later than many of you and then it's here. Puppers have been walked and the Pinch let out so she can get in her pool. My laughs start with them. The wild birds have been fe...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Got a call from my AH's boss today @ 4pm. She said that he had failed an alcohol test. They had asked him to have someone pick him up from work but he drove off so the bank attorney's said they had to notify the police. She called me, not knowing that we have been separated for 2 months now, to see if he had mad...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

In a few days, AH will be leaving for his Costa Rica trip. It's a work related trip where his company puts all the salespeople and their spouses(significant others) up for 5 days in a 5 star hotel. This year it's at the Four Seasons resort, on the west coast of Costa Rica. When the trip was announced las...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I think my wife has an alcohol problem/functioning alcoholic. This has been happening over the last year but the problem has progressed. I don't know how much she drinks but this is what I have seen. She has hidden it from me in the past and lied about it. She claims that its because I "freak out...

hulrich07 · hulrich07

Hi, This is my first time posting. I dated my boyfriend for 4 years, we moved in together after two years. about 9 months ago, he showed me my engagement ring. to make sure i liked it. still hasnt given it to me because shorty after, i kinda discovered that he was addicted to vicodin. he had taken them all th...

Overcome · Overcome

Well, I have effectively done my Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it; for today. But here's a question: How do I make amends to my 89 year old mother, who has moderate Alzheimer's for yelling at her yesterday? She will not remember the incident whe...

Diva · Diva

Some fo you DID say something I have never heard before. I will get to that in a minute. First, thank each and every one of you for your replies. I appreciate them all so very much. I have separated from my partner A. Our living together became impossible because of the terrible resentment, hate, an...

lostandhurt33 · lostandhurt33

My husband has always been a heavy drinker and it didn't bother me much when we were dating because his behavior didn't get out of control. Near the time we got married he was prescribed xanax and I suspect he has been abusing the two together. Long story short several angry/violent outbursts are vario...

Barbiegirl · Barbiegirl

sometimes life just doesn't make sense. My husband and I met 25 years ago in Alanon. We left after a few years, made a decision not to drink because of the trouble caused by the alcoholics in our families. We raised a family only to have my 20-something son now with a drinking problem

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.This weekend, I have been invited to 2 events. One is a birthday party at a nightclub. The other is over at a male friends house to watch the fight. Sometimes I dont truly realize how blessed I am to have such wonderful people in my life who have...

Sam813 · Sam813

He everyone, I just thought that I would share with you all how I am doing recently. I feel that going to meetings has really helped me let go of guilt, fear, and control. I am now able to accept this situation and know that I am powerless over it. Although I miss my A brother, I am choosing to take care of m...

Pushka · Pushka

It's Tuesday .. LOL .. it's been a great weekend. The kids were out of school since Wednesday of last week and we had a blast. Over the weekend my son had his first sleep over and this was actually a big deal because I was terrified for a number of reasons. Probably the biggest one being I'm just not a dome...

serenityseeker444 · serenityseeker444

Finally got the nerve up to do this online connection for SUPPORT..GOT TO FILE LEGAL DOCUMENTS AND GET RESTAINING ORDERS AND IT IS SO FRUSTRATING TO HAVE TO DO THIS DEALING WITH MY OWN FAMILY..THEIR ADDICTION IS KICKING AND THEY CONTINUE TO HARRASS ME..CALLING ME AT HOME AT WORK AND SHOWING UP AT MY HOM...

rellik · rellik

Ok its hard to stay sane right now. AW left for meeting 7:45 with serious urges to drink. She txtd me at 9:45 P.M. Said she still had urge to drink and was going to stick around and chat. I have been reading back through posts ever since. Its now 12:45 A.M. I'm still at home (not driving around looking for her...

rellik · rellik

I had a great f2f meeting at lunch today. I don't have a sponsor yet and I'm honestly not on the steps. I have finally accepted step 1. so i guess I'm on step 2 but still grasping a straws without a sponsor to keep me focused. So obviously I'm not on step 4 but I had a revelation this weekend that I just have to s...

Chaya · Chaya

Hello everyone. Haven't visited for a while. MIP really saved me in those first 30 days and now I mainly get my support through face to face meetings and peers in meetings. I am back because I am having concerns about the relationship with my sponsor. I read some prior threads on here which helped a bit to...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I am so sick of being told I am a bad person. No, it's not a situation where I am made to FEEL like a bad person because of things he says to me. He actually tells me "you're a terrible person." I KNOW it's not true. But I am sick of hearing it. I'm sick of being called names, and yelled at, and al...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Its Thanksgiving in Canada. So if you live in Canada, Happy Thanksgiving. Have a great day and remember to say thank you to everyone you meet. oh and one more thing. Thank you.

tortuga · tortuga

I have been reading this and I liked it so much, I just felt like sharing with you lot: 'Look at your life. Look at the ways in which you define who you are and what you're capable of achieving. Look at your goals. Look at the pressures applied by the people around you and the culture in which you were raised...

decgirl1973 · decgirl1973

I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father and he still drinks. 15 years ago I married an alcoholic. My husband has been sober for 5 years but there's a lot of wreckage left from the 10 years of drinking. I still have anger primarily with the face that he never made amends to me. I saw him write several l...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Verbal vomit all over me (Preview) Havent spoken to my AH in about 2 weeks. He calls this morning and verbally vomits all over me. Should never have answered the phone. I started to wonder why he felt it was ok to talk to me that way, to put me down, blame me for everything, call me names, accuse me of cheating.... When we hung up the phone....	dragonflys	5	506	Oct 14, 2012 by pinkchip
	Another newbie.. (Preview) Needless to say, I'm a little bit freaked out for even starting to reach out and look for help in my situation. Really, I don't want to believe I'm in a situation to begin with, so this is really hard. I just run out of options and pretending that it doesn't exist isn't helping. So, here I am. My husband is...	Itzli	20	754	Oct 14, 2012 by Overcome
	My Theme Song (Preview) I am a country music lover!!! Anyone watching Nashville!! :) Little Miss by Sugarland (I think I posted it on another thread but here are the lyrics) Little miss done on love Little miss, I give up Little miss, I'll get tough, don't you worry about me anymore Little miss checkered dress Little miss, o...	dragonflys	2	347	Oct 14, 2012 by Overcome
	Feed back needed . (Preview) If there is one thing I have learned in my years in this program is that I cannot help anyone with a problem if I myself have not experienced what they are dealing with , and my solution is to find someone in program who has been there done that and direct them to the person asking for help . I have the privele...	abbyal	5	476	Oct 14, 2012 by Overcome
	Practicing these principles in all our affairs (Preview) I lived with the active disease of alcoholism in my past, I don't today. However, I do live with the active disease of my mother's Alzheimer's and I'm so grateful to Al-anon for having been in this program, because it has taught me how to practice these principles in all my affairs. I am trying to get my 20...	Overcome	4	378	Oct 14, 2012 by Overcome
	beating myself up! (Preview) HELP!!! These last couple nights have been so hard and I feel like I'm right back where I started when I first left my AH on labor day.Thursday I met up with my AH at the mall to do some clothes shopping. I had him meet me there so we could talk... but very little talking was actually done. He returned some...	Inuyami	2	477	Oct 14, 2012 by Mattie
	He Wasn't Fired, He Resigned (Preview) What a relief! How stupid I am to think that you would be fired as a financial consultant when you test 3x over the legal limit to drive during business hours. Thank God my AH called to set the record straight. I was prepared for total devastation or even rage at me but not delusion. When...	WornOutMrsFixIt	7	494	Oct 14, 2012 by callmemara
	Michael Jordan never won without Scottie Pippen (share) (Preview) One thing that I always had a hard time doing was asking for help. My alcoholic father raised me as a single parent so there was never a lot of help to rely on. Financially and emotionally, the alcoholic struggled day to day. We werent a wealthy family, a connected family or even a healthy cohesive family...	slogan_jim	4	450	Oct 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Pending choices..... (Preview) This passed summer, my AH and I were separated for the fourth time (due to cheating, lying, stealing, drug use). I was working 2,000 miles away and even though I was not looking for another relationship, I ended up falling head over heals for someone. I didn't let that relationship evolve due to the fac...	RoseODAT	3	568	Oct 13, 2012 by Bettina
	Great meeting (Preview) Had a great women's meeting this morning. Happy to have a newcomer and share on the topic of fellowship. Today I am grateful for all the new women I have met in this program. I love all my sisters. Chaya	Chaya	2	295	Oct 13, 2012 by hotrod
	it does get better for sure for sure! (Preview) Just want to say that it does get better for those of you who are in the middle of the mess! My friend is doing much better daily. She is doing for herself things that she couldn't do before. She prays & has faith. I am so proud of her. She can sometimes be an inspiration to me. Her values have changed &...	Hoot Nanny	2	429	Oct 13, 2012 by DavidG
	what have I done wrong? (Preview) It seems like every time I try to do the right thing it always comes out wrong???????????????? I am so frustrated w/ myself it seems like it never ends. I have been on my AH for days. I think I know why--I have been having trouble w/ my weight(outside issue) but it kills me when my weight starts to go up &...	Hoot Nanny	5	552	Oct 13, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	No cross-talk in Alanon...? (Preview) The 'no cross-talk rule' has been a recent thing in 12 steps groups. How does this apply to Alanon- any ideas? In my home group, if we have a new member we have a 'Step 1 meeting'. This is where everyone share how and why they came to Alanon. Sometimes if asked for members offer opinions but not advice- '...	DavidG	8	2522	Oct 13, 2012 by DavidG
	ANGER and how I deal with it today. (Preview) In our Courage to Change (C2C) daily mediation book it says, "The Al-anon program encourages me to acknowledge my feelings and to be responsible for how I express them. The problem is not that I get angry, but that I do not know how to direct my anger appropriately." I thought that this was so...	Overcome	3	567	Oct 13, 2012 by GailMichelle
	He left tonight... (Preview) Well...there you go. He left tonight... He came home drunk....feel asleep on the couch for an hour. He had a go at me and the kids...slammed my hand in a draw. I asked him not to take it out on the kids. He told me not to start on him and he left.... I am left crying and a bit bemused... I have to work at 8...	kemmaw	4	469	Oct 13, 2012 by pinkchip
	Group Prayers Needed (Preview) Please pray for my son, Matt, just dropped him off at the airport with another student and dad. They are going to AZ to try out for the Arizona Senior Classic Baseball Academic team for high school. My son has done so well, despite this disease with his dad.....group prayer is so powerful....thanks for...	RobinKSC	13	447	Oct 13, 2012 by ccl7445
	New here and want to know if I am doing it all wrong! (Preview) I have been living with a man now for 3 years...he was a drinker when we met but I didn't realise how much and how it was steadily increasing until the beginning of 2012. We both have children and its a tough family situation. He drinks from 3pm in the pub every day and then carries on with 2 bottles of wine a...	kemmaw	6	490	Oct 13, 2012 by Zimmy
	The Husband Store... (Humor) (Preview) The Husband StoreA brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may...	John	7	453	Oct 13, 2012 by Zimmy
	Gratitude (Preview) Hi, I'm doing a long share at my home group on Friday - the topic is "Gratitude". I've been thinking about it for a while. I realised that I have never said that I'm a "grateful member" of Al-anon, even though I am. Why? Well I worked it out and it stems from my childhood. I'm an A...	UK Jane	5	793	Oct 13, 2012 by UK Jane
	Compassion equals detachment (Preview) Over the past couple of weeks, I've slowly been learning about compassion. I had no idea how to do that until now because I felt so angry and abandoned. The more I read about this being an illness, and here how strong and serene long timers appera to be with compassion toward their As, the more it's been si...	Tigger	6	1048	Oct 12, 2012 by Itzli
	Weekend Plans? (Preview) I don't know about you all, but I could use a positive sharing thread! What's everyone up to this weekend? My daughters will be here, and my oldest (who is almost 13) has decided to cut off her fabulous long hair. She will be donating it to charity, and getting a funky "hip" haircut. She's...	stephaniej	13	581	Oct 12, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Love... (just a quick share) (Preview) IT CAN'T BE BLOCKED, NEVER WILL BE... IT'S STRONGER THAN ALL THE MEASURES YOU WILL TAKE AGAINST IT.... IT'S CALLED LOVE. As the Velveteen Rabbit says, "I discovered I was real, when all my hair was pulled from my head, an eye ball was missing, an ear torn, and my stuffing coming out because I was carried...	John	4	414	Oct 12, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Floating thoughts turned into a fact .. LOL!! (Preview) Ok, .. I'm going to own the fact my crystal ball is broken and I want a refund darn you Crystal Ball R Us .. soooo not what I ordered!!! I have had these floating thoughts running rampet in my head recently due to many things that have been coming to pass. Some are right and some like I said big o...	Pushka	4	545	Oct 12, 2012 by Pushka
	I am listening and standing my ground with bf (Preview) Once again my alcoholic bf acted out but this time I am taking a stand. I listened to what people here had to say, and I am no longer engaging in his games and not allowing him to ruin my life. He was down here from Wednesday through Monday, and we barely saw each other, except when I helped him out. We did h...	teachmath	5	582	Oct 12, 2012 by Itzli
	Need Some Second Opinions (Preview) I could use some opinions. Since my AH got out of rehab (about 3 weeks ago) we have seperated, he keeps telling me he wants to be the husband I deserve and will show me by his actions how much he loves me and how dedicated he is to our marriage. I come to find out he is on the internet having all kinds of communi...	TrudyS85	19	773	Oct 12, 2012 by TrudyS85
	My thirty minutes of taking care of me, day 1 (Preview) WOW, this is harder than I thought! Thanks to the great suggestions I got from my post I was able to be flexible and come up with some, they are pretty basic, but that is where I am at right now... physical care: I spent ten minutes taking a quick hot bath rather than a quickie 5 minute shower mental care: I...	ForeverAlanon	4	387	Oct 12, 2012 by Itzli
	Bad patient! (Preview) Me! Boy what an eye opener LOL. I've been battling some sort of non-identifiable illness for over 6 months now. It is the type of illness you do not want to discuss with anyone, can keep you from having a normal day and is humiliating and humbling. I've got medication making it so I can work but the idea...	AStrongerMe	5	407	Oct 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Was this the bait of the disease for me??? (Preview) I first want to thank everyone for the advice and support. I will be attending my first Al-Anon meeting today. I decided not to tell my wife where I was going, but not lie about it. It is during my lunch break from work and if the wife asks, I went to get some counselling. My thought process is it is none o...	hdftby100	11	715	Oct 12, 2012 by kemmaw
	What a bad week this is turning out to be (Preview) This week is hell. My AWs actions and words are completly contradictory. E-mails of love and making up for the pain. Sexy txts to some other guy, about how she wants to be with him. So I told her to accept her fate and move out, move in with him if she wants to. She refused and she keeps telling me she will find...	rellik	6	641	Oct 12, 2012 by tortuga
	no thanks (Preview) I have been looking lately how impossible it was for me to say no thanks to relationships that were difficult,mired in problems and complicated. I think I had some compulsion to both suffer and to rescue people from their situation. I felt so responsible for everyone and like it wasn't in my capacit...	orchidlover	1	351	Oct 12, 2012 by Pushka
	I am so ANGRY this week! (Preview) I don't often give myself over to anger. I tend to believe that anger is often a mask for another deeper feeling (embarrassment, sadness, disappointment, etc.), and I try to understand what's really going on when I feel angry, mostly because I HATE it when other people take their anger out on me and...	stephaniej	12	626	Oct 12, 2012 by stephaniej
	How Do I Detach From This (Preview) Well, it only took 3 weeks out of rehab and my AH is spiraling. He calls me to ask a question about his taxes and from there it goes off the rails. He's going on and on about not having enough money and he is stopping therapy and stopping his meds for his bipolar. I remind him I am paying for his meds and his the...	TrudyS85	8	657	Oct 12, 2012 by Jerry F
	How is alcoholism a "family" disease when the A is the sick one? (Preview) I struggled with this for so many years. I was the healthy clean living vegan totally drug free health nut, not even OTC drugs, HE was the addict who drank like a fish until he was urinating in any container he could find in the house during blackouts. What? I am sick also? I don't think so, I am the one ke...	ForeverAlanon	10	643	Oct 12, 2012 by Auntyaya
	New Dilemma (Preview) phoned my granddaughter 3 weeks ago & asked her if she would like a set of my china dishes with crystal glasses, tea pot, coffee pot , cream & sugar absolutely everything, setting for 12 people & complete silver ware set, for her hope chest. Her reply was definitely...I replied please...	Icie	10	550	Oct 12, 2012 by Icie
	I'm new and need some perspective (Preview) Hi Everyone I am new to the forum and so thankful i found you. My husband has been sober (drugs and alcohol) for 7 years and attends AA regularly. My situation is my husband has recently started socializing with his "old friends" again, most of whom still drink. I had started having some an...	mum2three	6	572	Oct 12, 2012 by orchidlover
	Asking son to leave (Preview) New to this board. My son's drinking finally caused our family to hit a new low. After a brief altercation I told him to leave. I knew the day would come, prayed that it would not but there is was. He moved out. In following phone conversations I made it clear as long as he his drinking he will n...	Rick3358	8	595	Oct 12, 2012 by orchidlover
	Depressed and feeling hopeless (Preview) I am so depressed today I just want to go to sleep and wake up to a new life. My AH has been in rehab since early August and is doing very well. He came home last weekend because he had done his step 5 and they start integrating slowly back into the outside world after that stage. We were both extremely anxious...	Kismet	14	623	Oct 12, 2012 by orchidlover
	Here I am.... (Preview) I am new to the forum but not new to my codependent way. For several years I went to therapy and I actually believed I was improving. However, I am back at square one. When my husband and I started dating the red flags were all over the place, but I chose to ignore them. I ignored them because he and I had be...	unsure2012	7	670	Oct 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	New to this (Preview) I found out 45 days ago that my wife of 21 years is an alcoholic. I always suspected there was a problem going on but couldn't quite put my finger on it. She was a binge drinker, mostly on weekends, who just didn't know when enough was enough. I would try to get her to leave parties when she was drunk but nothi...	Alan66	11	561	Oct 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	Use it or lose it (Preview) Hi, I first joined alanon ten years ago and it helped me tremendously in some ways, well, in the ways that I applied the program. Like many first time alanoners, I mostly came to whine and complain about my A and hope to get some tips on how to deal with a hopeless A. Well, I did get that in the casual conver...	ForeverAlanon	10	623	Oct 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	Ready Set...Go!! (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana `O MIP...Good morning MIP Family...The day has started her on Moku Keawe...The Big Island of Hawaii...much later than many of you and then it's here. Puppers have been walked and the Pinch let out so she can get in her pool. My laughs start with them. The wild birds have been fe...	Jerry F	5	467	Oct 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	Been Dreading It & Today Was The Day (Preview) Got a call from my AH's boss today @ 4pm. She said that he had failed an alcohol test. They had asked him to have someone pick him up from work but he drove off so the bank attorney's said they had to notify the police. She called me, not knowing that we have been separated for 2 months now, to see if he had mad...	WornOutMrsFixIt	11	692	Oct 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Sad, but proud of myself, too (Preview) In a few days, AH will be leaving for his Costa Rica trip. It's a work related trip where his company puts all the salespeople and their spouses(significant others) up for 5 days in a 5 star hotel. This year it's at the Four Seasons resort, on the west coast of Costa Rica. When the trip was announced las...	ilovedogs	8	588	Oct 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Unfamiliar territory (Preview) I think my wife has an alcohol problem/functioning alcoholic. This has been happening over the last year but the problem has progressed. I don't know how much she drinks but this is what I have seen. She has hidden it from me in the past and lied about it. She claims that its because I "freak out...	hdftby100	9	550	Oct 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Help ): (Preview) Hi, This is my first time posting. I dated my boyfriend for 4 years, we moved in together after two years. about 9 months ago, he showed me my engagement ring. to make sure i liked it. still hasnt given it to me because shorty after, i kinda discovered that he was addicted to vicodin. he had taken them all th...	hulrich07	9	633	Oct 11, 2012 by hulrich07
	How do you make amends to someone with Alzheimer's? (Preview) Well, I have effectively done my Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it; for today. But here's a question: How do I make amends to my 89 year old mother, who has moderate Alzheimer's for yelling at her yesterday? She will not remember the incident whe...	Overcome	7	510	Oct 11, 2012 by Debilyn
	I think Diva finally understands and accepts. (Preview) Some fo you DID say something I have never heard before. I will get to that in a minute. First, thank each and every one of you for your replies. I appreciate them all so very much. I have separated from my partner A. Our living together became impossible because of the terrible resentment, hate, an...	Diva	9	557	Oct 11, 2012 by Debilyn
	Husband has chosen alcohol over me (Preview) My husband has always been a heavy drinker and it didn't bother me much when we were dating because his behavior didn't get out of control. Near the time we got married he was prescribed xanax and I suspect he has been abusing the two together. Long story short several angry/violent outbursts are vario...	lostandhurt33	5	5162	Oct 11, 2012 by In my head
	can't believe I'm back after 20 years (Preview) sometimes life just doesn't make sense. My husband and I met 25 years ago in Alanon. We left after a few years, made a decision not to drink because of the trouble caused by the alcoholics in our families. We raised a family only to have my 20-something son now with a drinking problem	Barbiegirl	9	520	Oct 11, 2012 by Aloha
	Random sharing :s (Preview) Hi,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.This weekend, I have been invited to 2 events. One is a birthday party at a nightclub. The other is over at a male friends house to watch the fight. Sometimes I dont truly realize how blessed I am to have such wonderful people in my life who have...	slogan_jim	5	573	Oct 10, 2012 by Pushka
	Feeling Positive (Preview) He everyone, I just thought that I would share with you all how I am doing recently. I feel that going to meetings has really helped me let go of guilt, fear, and control. I am now able to accept this situation and know that I am powerless over it. Although I miss my A brother, I am choosing to take care of m...	Sam813	5	497	Oct 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Hp in all things .. (Preview) It's Tuesday .. LOL .. it's been a great weekend. The kids were out of school since Wednesday of last week and we had a blast. Over the weekend my son had his first sleep over and this was actually a big deal because I was terrified for a number of reasons. Probably the biggest one being I'm just not a dome...	Pushka	7	554	Oct 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Input needed please..staying grounded during family crisis number 9001 (Preview) Finally got the nerve up to do this online connection for SUPPORT..GOT TO FILE LEGAL DOCUMENTS AND GET RESTAINING ORDERS AND IT IS SO FRUSTRATING TO HAVE TO DO THIS DEALING WITH MY OWN FAMILY..THEIR ADDICTION IS KICKING AND THEY CONTINUE TO HARRASS ME..CALLING ME AT HOME AT WORK AND SHOWING UP AT MY HOM...	serenityseeker444	4	494	Oct 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	MIP is all i have keeping me sane right now. (Preview) Ok its hard to stay sane right now. AW left for meeting 7:45 with serious urges to drink. She txtd me at 9:45 P.M. Said she still had urge to drink and was going to stick around and chat. I have been reading back through posts ever since. Its now 12:45 A.M. I'm still at home (not driving around looking for her...	rellik	6	448	Oct 10, 2012 by Zimmy
	God's will God's way (Preview) I had a great f2f meeting at lunch today. I don't have a sponsor yet and I'm honestly not on the steps. I have finally accepted step 1. so i guess I'm on step 2 but still grasping a straws without a sponsor to keep me focused. So obviously I'm not on step 4 but I had a revelation this weekend that I just have to s...	rellik	9	604	Oct 10, 2012 by Zimmy
	Sponsor question (Preview) Hello everyone. Haven't visited for a while. MIP really saved me in those first 30 days and now I mainly get my support through face to face meetings and peers in meetings. I am back because I am having concerns about the relationship with my sponsor. I read some prior threads on here which helped a bit to...	Chaya	6	485	Oct 10, 2012 by Chaya
	so, so tired of it (Preview) I am so sick of being told I am a bad person. No, it's not a situation where I am made to FEEL like a bad person because of things he says to me. He actually tells me "you're a terrible person." I KNOW it's not true. But I am sick of hearing it. I'm sick of being called names, and yelled at, and al...	stephaniej	12	618	Oct 9, 2012 by stephaniej
	Gratitude, Canadian Style (Preview) Its Thanksgiving in Canada. So if you live in Canada, Happy Thanksgiving. Have a great day and remember to say thank you to everyone you meet. oh and one more thing. Thank you.	Wolfie55	11	511	Oct 10, 2012 by likemyheart
	loving.hope.life. (Preview) I have been reading this and I liked it so much, I just felt like sharing with you lot: 'Look at your life. Look at the ways in which you define who you are and what you're capable of achieving. Look at your goals. Look at the pressures applied by the people around you and the culture in which you were raised...	tortuga	1	287	Oct 10, 2012 by NovSun
	My alcoholic husband tells me I need Al-Anon (Preview) I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father and he still drinks. 15 years ago I married an alcoholic. My husband has been sober for 5 years but there's a lot of wreckage left from the 10 years of drinking. I still have anger primarily with the face that he never made amends to me. I saw him write several l...	decgirl1973	8	623	Oct 9, 2012 by pinkchip
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.